Words have incredible power and they can either build or break someone down. The saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” is so far from the truth. Words have the ability to stay with you, work within you and long after all is said and done, it can still show up years down the road and still have the power to hold court if allowed to do so.
Flippancy with words comes easily to some and to some cutting you down to size using a few choice words is a daily affair. Choose your words carefully and be kind with what you put out there because unlike that quote, words do have the power to hurt and to break someone down.
Here are some quotes that hit the nail on the head:
“Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.” Unknown
“Before you say something to someone, always think about how you’d feel if someone told you the same thing.”Unknown
I like this next one a lot.
“If only our tongues were made of glass,
how much more careful we would be when we speak.” Unknown
“The world is full of hurtful words. It is full of hate. It is full of people pushing others away. Tripping them with words. Words have the same power to cause harm as a stick or rock. We need to be better than that. To learn, to understand, to refuse to be the hurt.”Unknown
“Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” Joel Osteen
It is defined as “insulting someone or displaying rude behavior by showing a lack of respect.”
Have you experienced it? I have and it is not a nice thing when faced with such behavior. There are three forms of disrespect. These are known as the passive, subtle and the blatant variety.
Passive disrespect is when someone is condescending, makes insulting insinuations, gives you the silent treatment, is sarcastic and doesn’t care if it is hurtful or not. How do you deal with this kind of disrespect?
Don’t take the bait and address the issue immediately.
Subtle disrespect is when someone mocks you, when they talk behind your back and they will pretend to have forgotten things you agreed on.
Show that it doesn’t affect you or decide if you want to engage. Name the disrespectful behavior you have observed and call them out on it. Have a conversation about it but do not lecture.
Blatant disrespect is the no holds barred variety. They go out of their way to deliberately undermine or demean you. Their actions are obvious and they don’t give a hoot if it hurts you.
Here again stay calm but it is hard to do. Use “I” statements when addressing the issue and ask for clarification. You can react with kindness but since that is almost impossible to do, call the person out on his or her behavior and set boundaries as to what you will or won’t tolerate.
If all else fails, you have the option of walking away and closing the door behind you. No one should put up with disrespect. Disrespect basically says, “You are not important and your feelings don’t matter to me.” The truth is, you are important and your feelings do matter. Do not tolerate disrespect of any kind.
Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:
“The best way to end disrespect is by not giving them a chance to do it again.” Unknown
“Disrespect is the weapon of the weak.” Alice Miller
“Wasting somebody’s time may be the highest form of disrespect.” Unknown
I like the next one a lot.
“Never let your heart be so forgiving that it gets comfortable with disrespect.” Unknown
“Don’t put up with disrespect just to keep them in your life.” Sonya Parker
“Be careful what you tolerate, you are teaching people how to treat you.” Unknown
It is defined as “insulting someone or displaying rude behavior by showing a lack of respect.”
Have you experienced it? I have and it is not a nice thing when faced with such behavior. There are three forms of disrespect. These are known as the passive, subtle and the blatant variety.
Passive disrespect is when someone is condescending, makes insulting insinuations, gives you the silent treatment, is sarcastic and doesn’t care if it is hurtful or not. How do you deal with this kind of disrespect?
Don’t take the bait and address the issue immediately.
Subtle disrespect is when someone mocks you, when they talk behind your back and they will pretend to have forgotten things you agreed on.
Show that it doesn’t affect you or decide if you want to engage. Name the disrespectful behavior you have observed and call them out on it. Have a conversation about it but do not lecture.
Blatant disrespect is the no holds barred variety. They go out of their way to deliberately undermine or demean you. Their actions are obvious and they don’t give a hoot if it hurts you.
Here again stay calm but it is hard to do. Use “I” statements when addressing the issue and ask for clarification. You can react with kindness but since that is almost impossible to do, call the person out on his or her behavior and set boundaries as to what you will or won’t tolerate.
If all else fails, you have the option of walking away and closing the door behind you. No one should put up with disrespect. Disrespect basically says, “You are not important and your feelings don’t matter to me.” The truth is, you are important and your feelings do matter. Do not tolerate disrespect of any kind.
Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:
“The best way to end disrespect is by not giving them a chance to do it again.” Unknown
“Disrespect is the weapon of the weak.” Alice Miller
“Wasting somebody’s time may be the highest form of disrespect.” Unknown
I like the next one a lot.
“Never let your heart be so forgiving that it gets comfortable with disrespect.” Unknown
“Don’t put up with disrespect just to keep them in your life.” Sonya Parker
“Be careful what you tolerate, you are teaching people how to treat you.” Unknown
“We explain when someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you do not stoop to their level. Our motto is when they go low, you go high.” Michelle Obama
I loved this quote but it does not always work.
Desmond Tutu said it better.
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”
Bullying is defined as, “behavior directed toward one or more individuals that is meant to insult, demean, or intimidate.” BetterHelp
We saw bullying of the highest order being played out on the world stage by the current occupant of the White House not too long ago. Bullying is and was his weapon to get what he wants. Playing “king” and telling the world how the game is played is his megaphone and he decided to “Huff, Puff and Blow the House Down!” like the Big Bad Wolf in the fable, “The Three Little Pigs.” The wolf did his damnedest but the third pig gave him a run for the money just like Canada is doing right now. Their motto is, “United We Stand, Divided We Fall,” and it seems to be working. Bullies may roar and act like they have the upper hand but when you stand up to them, they run off and hide. However, there are the diehards whose only goal in life is to bring someone down. There are different types of bullying. “Physical bullying is when bullies hurt their targets physically. Verbal bullying is taunting or teasing someone. Psychological bullying is gossiping about or excluding someone and Cyberbullying is when bullies use the internet and social media and say things they might not say in person.” (kidshealth.org)
I met my bully in elementary school. She was tiny, dirty-looking and her clothes were torn and tattered. I held out my hand with a smile and said “Hello.” The next thing I knew I was on the ground writhing in pain. She stood over me grinning as she stood shaking her fist at me, the same one that had caused such severe pain. She put the fear of the devil in me that day and it would go on for weeks to come.
Playing on the grassy slope became a nightmare situation, waiting for the schoolbus after school was more so and going to the bathroom more than a nightmare. I didn’t understand why she was picking on me only that I was no longer safe. I came up with all kinds of excuses to stay home but that didn’t work. A few weeks later I had enough. It was time to do something! She showed up as usual, a knowing smile plastered on her face but I was prepared this time. Just as she reached out to push me down the slope, I turned the table on her. I pushed as hard as I could and watched as she tumbled down the slope. As she stood up, I noticed blood dribbling down her chin and a front tooth was missing! She looked at me with disbelief but there was something more. The next day she showed up on that slope with new found respect on her face. I apologized and it was the start of an unlikely friendship. Her mom had passed away and she was left on her own most days. She also had to help with household chores and even do the cooking at times. A life so different from mine. I still had my childhood before me but hers was hanging in the balance. We remained friends until I moved away but I still think about her sometimes and wonder if she made it in life. I hope she did.
How do you deal with bullies?
Talk to someone about what is going on.
Ignore the bully and walk away.
Walk tall and hold your head high.
Stop being too nice!
Don’t get physical. This worked for me but not always.
Try to talk to the bully.
Practice confidence and fake it if you have to!
Bullies are everywhere as we saw not so long ago and they could come from the highest office in the land as well. It takes more than guts to stand up to a bully. Sometimes it takes cunning and inner strength to weather the storm as Canada is doing right now. Pick and choose your battle carefully, learn what it takes to stand up for your rights and hold your head up high. Confidence is a “bully” buster in more ways than one!
Words have incredible power and they can either build or break someone down. The saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” is so far from the truth. Words have the ability to stay with you, work within you and long after all is said and done, it can still show up years down the road and still have the power to hold court if allowed to do so.
Flippancy with words comes easily to some and to some cutting you down to size using a few choice words is a daily affair. Choose your words carefully and be kind with what you put out there because unlike that quote, words do have the power to hurt and to break someone down.
Here are some quotes that hit the nail on the head:
“Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.” Unknown
“Before you say something to someone, always think about how you’d feel if someone told you the same thing.”
I like this next one a lot.
“If only our tongues were made of glass,
how much more careful we would be when we speak.” Unknown
“The world is full of hurtful words. It is full of hate. It is full of people pushing others away. Tripping them with words. Words have the same power to cause harm as a stick or rock. We need to be better than that. To learn, to understand, to refuse to be the hurt.” Unknown
“Be careful what you say. You can say something hurtful in ten seconds, but ten years later, the wounds are still there.” Joel Osteen
A wise man was asked what is anger? He gave a beautiful answer. It is a punishment we give to ourself, for somebody else’s mistake.”
I know that anger has been a constant companion in my life for the last several years. It is a powerful emotion that comes easily when something doesn’t go right or when there is a feeling that someone has done you wrong. Sometimes it motivates you to do better, to let go and move on but at other times there is this other variety that grabs hold and refuses to let go. Fortunately, mine has been of the milder version, it grabs hold, I let it boil for a while and then it subsides and I find ways to deal with it. I have heard some people say that they don’t let anger get the best of them but I say, I DON’T believe you! It is a natural emotion and if you’re human, it is going to affect you one way or another.
A girlfriend once told me that when she gets angry, she gets totally bent out of shape. Her idea of letting out steam was to stick needles in a voodoo doll hoping that her ex-husband’s new girlfriend would feel it from here and to the heavens and back! Whatever floats your boat. Would you call that rage? Perhaps, it is also an emotion that needs reeling in before it becomes something else.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain
Today has not been a good day. It is a beautiful almost spring-like day but the news I got was anything but. My first response was to feel angry and to ask WHY? It went downhill from there. I decided to take a walk to clear my mind and to come up with solutions to my problem. I walked out the front door, turned the corner to head to the open fields and lo and behold, the road was under construction and filled with cranes, men and noise! I felt the anger slowly rising not that it needed much help at this point. I was looking to vent and I just needed an excuse to let it all out.
I kept on walking and soon I was out in the open leaving the chaos behind me. The sky was a perfect blue, the grass a glorious green and to add to the serene picture several rabbits were out in the open and chasing each other and I felt myself deflate. The slow simmer was back to normal and I walked taking in nature’s antidote to anger. I was slowly returning to normal.
“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.” Thomas Jefferson
Or take a walk as I did and let nature help you to see the bigger picture and get you out of the tunnel vision which has the tendency to draw you into the depths of despair.
Deep breathing, meditating, working out, getting into your Zen-Zone can all help to dissipate anger. However, anger is a natural emotion, let it play out or reel it in but don’t let it get out of hand. Know when to get off the anger mode, accept it for what it is, just a temporary obstacle that can be overcome.
Here are more quotes to help you do just that:
“ANGER doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.” Lawrence Douglas Wilder
“You cannot see your reflection in boiling water, similarly you cannot see the truth in a state of anger. When the waters calm clarity comes.” Unknown
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha
Lastly,
Understanding Anger
“The goal isn’t to never feel ANGRY. The goal is to UNDERSTAND your anger and to choose HEALTHY ways to respond to it.” Unknown
It is defined as “insulting someone or displaying rude behavior by showing a lack of respect.”
Have you experienced it? I have and it is not a nice thing when faced with such behavior. There are three forms of disrespect. These are known as the passive, subtle and the blatant variety.
Passive disrespect is when someone is condescending, makes insulting insinuations, gives you the silent treatment, is sarcastic and doesn’t care if it is hurtful or not. How do you deal with this kind of disrespect?
Don’t take the bait and address the issue immediately.
Subtle disrespect is when someone mocks you, when they talk behind your back and they will pretend to have forgotten things you agreed on.
Show that it doesn’t affect you or decide if you want to engage. Name the disrespectful behavior you have observed and call them out on it. Have a conversation about it but do not lecture.
Blatant disrespect is the no holds barred variety. They go out of their way to deliberately undermine or demean you. Their actions are obvious and they don’t give a hoot if it hurts you.
Here again stay calm but it is hard to do. Use “I” statements when addressing the issue and ask for clarification. You can react with kindness but since that is almost impossible to do, call the person out on his or her behavior and set boundaries as to what you will or won’t tolerate.
If all else fails, you have the option of walking away and closing the door behind you. No one should put up with disrespect. Disrespect basically says, “You are not important and your feelings don’t matter to me.” The truth is, you are important and your feelings do matter. Do not tolerate disrespect of any kind.
Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:
“The best way to end disrespect is by not giving them a chance to do it again.” Unknown
“Disrespect is the weapon of the weak.” Alice Miller
“Wasting somebody’s time may be the highest form of disrespect.” Unknown
I like the next one a lot.
“Never let your heart be so forgiving that it gets comfortable with disrespect.” Unknown
“Don’t put up with disrespect just to keep them in your life.” Sonya Parker
“Be careful what you tolerate, you are teaching people how to treat you.” Unknown
I’ve written about this topic before but it’s worth repeating. Anger has the potential to destroy and in its worst form when it steps in as rage, violence erupts, but not always. It is an emotion that can be annoying, a pesky below the skin variety that pokes and causes discomfort and unrest or it can do damage of the worst kind if not reeled in.
It is defined as, “an intense emotional state involving a strong, uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat.”
Sounds simple enough doesn’t it? However, it is not that simple and neither is it of the harmless kind. If left to simmer unchecked like some of us do, it has the potential to erupt in unexpected ways and more often than not to your own detriment.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain
I’ve gone through different forms of anger in my life as most of us have, from the mild variety to the last stage involving rage. This last one has the potential to turn a mild-mannered person like myself into someone unrecognizable. My bout with rage appeared when my mother was murdered by an immigrant for a few pieces of jewelry. My disbelief morphed into anger of the worst kind. I would play the scene over and over again in my mind until I became the victim and she, the killer, had the upper hand. There was no changing what had happened but that didn’t matter. I wanted revenge! Some days, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore because “anger” was corroding within me and I was unable to see clearly or to find my way out of this predicament.
“Anger doesn’t solve anything, it builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.” Lawrence Douglas Wilder
It took years and I almost let it destroy my life. Writing and putting my feelings down on paper helped and publishing several articles and getting the message out there also helped because as in this case as with most cases these days, the perpetrators have more rights than the victims. My mother did not get the justice she deserved. It was another blow to an already fragile psyche but I had to deal with it. I could have gone off the deep-end but as I have said here many times before, there is strength within. It is of the incredible kind and I tapped into it. I had to survive this ordeal not only for my sake but for those around me. I wanted to kill “her” or thoughts of that magnitude did cross my mind but not for long. I was made of better stuff and I relied on my inner strength to get me through and it did.
“Anger is one letter short of danger.” Unknown
Remember anger is one emotion if left to run wild and unchecked it can destroy and it can wreck more than havoc in your life. It is not worth it and no matter how unfair or unjust you think life is, there is a better way than grabbing hold of anger and letting it take you for a ride. There are better ways of dealing with anger and some of them are to observe, understand even if it seems impossible at the time, make peace, focus on the good, forgive (I couldn’t do this one), and LET IT GO!
A wise man was asked what is anger?
He gave a beautiful answer.
It is a punishment we give to ourself, for somebody else’s mistake.
Sometimes there is nothing left to do but to accept what you can’t change, salvage what you can and move on. Anger solves nothing but it can destroy everything.
A wise man was asked what is anger? He gave a beautiful answer. It is a punishment we give to ourself, for somebody else’s mistake.”
I know that anger has been a constant companion in my life for the last several years. It is a powerful emotion that comes easily when something doesn’t go right or when there is a feeling that someone has done you wrong. Sometimes it motivates you to do better, to let go and move on but at other times there is this other variety that grabs hold and refuses to let go. Fortunately, mine has been of the milder version, it grabs hold, I let it boil for a while and then it subsides and I find ways to deal with it. I have heard some people say that they don’t let anger get the best of them but I say, I DON’T believe you! It is a natural emotion and if you’re human, it is going to affect you one way or another.
A girlfriend once told me that when she gets angry, she gets totally bent out of shape. Her idea of letting out steam was to stick needles in a voodoo doll hoping that her ex-husband’s new girlfriend would feel it from here and to the heavens and back! Whatever floats your boat. Would you call that rage? Perhaps, it is also an emotion that needs reeling in before it becomes something else.
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain
Today has not been a good day. It is a beautiful spring day but the news I got was anything but. My first response was to feel angry and to ask WHY? It went downhill from there. I decided to take a walk to clear my mind and to come up with solutions to my problem. I walked out the front door, turned the corner to head to the open fields and lo and behold, the road was under construction and filled with cranes, men and noise! I felt the anger slowly rising not that it needed much help at this point. I was looking to vent and I just needed an excuse to let it all out.
I kept on walking and soon I was out in the open leaving the chaos behind me. The sky was a perfect blue, the grass a glorious green and to add to the serene picture several rabbits were out in the open and chasing each other and I felt myself deflate. The slow simmer was back to normal and I walked taking in nature’s antidote to anger. I was slowly returning to normal.
“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.” Thomas Jefferson
Or take a walk as I did and let nature help you to see the bigger picture and get you out of the tunnel vision which has the tendency to draw you into the depths of despair.
Deep breathing, meditating, working out, getting into your Zen-Zone can all help to dissipate anger. However, anger is a natural emotion, let it play out or reel it in but don’t let it get out of hand. Know when to get off the anger mode, accept it for what it is, just a temporary obstacle that can be overcome.
Here are more quotes to help you do just that.
“ANGER doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.” Lawrence Douglas Wilder
“You cannot see your reflection in boiling water, similarly you cannot see the truth in a state of anger. When the waters calm clarity comes.” Unknown
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha
Lastly,
Understanding Anger
“The goal isn’t to never feel ANGRY. The goal is to UNDERSTAND your anger and to choose HEALTHY ways to respond to it.” Unknown
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