inspirational – Site Title

The Storytellers (Archives)

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“We are all unreliable narrators, not just in the way we tell our stories to others, but how we tell them to ourselves.” Deb Caletti

We love telling stories don’t we? I think our whole existence is based on telling stories. We add and subtract as we see fit and sometimes or rather more often than not we blow it out of proportion to fit the narrative. The narrative that we see as our reality.

“The stories we tell ourselves shape our lives. They shape who we believe we are, and this belief translates into who we become.” John Assaraf

Something happens and off we go overthinking and putting a story together in our minds. “I’m not good enough,” comes to mind if there has been a rejection of some kind or if something doesn’t go exactly like we want. It could also be someone we like but who turned us down but the reality is that this person is not what we need and is not good for us but we drum up this story about how great he/she is and before you know it, we’ve got the dream person staring back at us but in reality they are far from it. We cling to the stories we tell ourselves but it doesn’t stop there. It morphs and changes shape until that “not being good enough” transforms into something we don’t recognize anymore. If that isn’t bad enough, we look for different angles to make it as bad as possible until there’s no climbing out of the hole YOU dug for yourself. Now, you’re facing a huge problem but one of your own making.

Yes folks, some of us are great storytellers and let’s add doomsday soothsayers to that and you’ve got the picture. The problem is we “buy” the stories we tell and we do put some doozies out there that could earn us the Nobel Prize if there is one for such storytelling!

“The stories we tell ourselves shape our reality. If you want to change your life, change the narrative you’ve believed up to this point.” Unknown

Tell yourself YOU are good enough. YOU can change the narrative. YOU can tell better stories than of the doomsday variety. YOU are capable and YOU can take whatever life throws at you and come out the winner. YOU, my friend, have it in you to come out with the best story possible. Make it your very best but you’ve got to change the narrative. Take “I can’t” and “It’s not possible” to “I can” and “I’m going to do it!” I keep telling myself that as well.

“The only thing keeping you from what you want is the story you keep telling yourself about why you don’t have it.” Tony Robbins

Let’s stop embellishing and making up stories, ones that if given the chance will bring us down and keep us there. Let’s change them to the positive variety, the kind that will get us on the way and into something better. Reality is sometimes just that, you take what is handed to you and work to make it your best reality without all the extra frills. You know what I mean.

LET’S DO THIS! Let’s change the stories we tell ourselves from that of the downtrodden to flying high! WE CAN DO THIS!

Have an amazing day.

Letting Go of Control

Most of us are “control freaks” when it comes to controlling outcomes. I know I am. We want to take whatever comes our way, things of the unsavory nature and we want to change it or we spend time, sometimes lots of it, mulling over what we cannot control and instead of letting go or accepting it as a lost cause, we try to control the narrative.

“To find calm, let go of the need to control every outcome.” Unknown

I had a tough day yesterday and “calm” had flown the coop and was nowhere to be seen. I kept playing scenarios over and over again and no matter how many times I kept playing it over, the outcome was the same. It was done and dusted and there was nothing I could do about it but to let it go. The only thing I could do was to control my feelings and how I viewed the situation. The other thing that was staring me in the face was that I had no control over the events of the day, only in how I dealt with it. It was time to let it go and I did.

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” Mandy Hale

I spent most of yesterday getting angry, agitated, frustrated, and whatever else you could throw into the pot, I was ready to take it all and to run with it! Human nature is such that we love to entertain problems. Truth is, problems do show up when we least expect them and they throw us for a loop when we come face to face with them. More often than not, anger and frustration accompany problems. Not knowing how to deal with them is why they appear in succession. In my case, it is the opportunity to fall off from the path of self-discovery I was on and to VENT for all its worth! Ok, it’s alright for awhile but I see the toll it takes on my psyche and even then, I refuse to stop, hell-bent on wrecking havoc as I go along on my path of self-righteousness! The good part is, I’ve learned when to put a stop to it. It took me most of the day but when evening rolled around, I was ready to come to my senses and to look at it with a clear head.

“One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.” marcandangel

Learning to let go of control is not easy because letting go of whatever it is means that you no longer have control over the situation. However, sometimes that is a good thing. You need to step back, view it from a distance and come up with solutions to break down the problem and to make it solvable. Yes, it takes time and it takes focus but it is better than going off the deep end as I did yesterday.

“Real strength isn’t control. It’s knowing when to let go.” Christopher Barzak

Have an amazing day.

Quotes

Marc and Angel Chernoff are a husband-and-wife team and they are known for sharing their strategies for happiness and success. They are also known for authoring NYT bestsellers like Getting Back to Happy and 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently. Here are some of their noteworthy quotes. Enjoy.

“When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin subtracting. Life gets a lot simpler when you clear the clutter that makes it complicated. Bring your attention back to what’s important, and move forward.”

Great advice but the problem is, I clear the clutter and then I add new ones to the equation! A lost cause?

“Don’t fall back into your old patterns. Toxic habits and behaviors always try to sneak back in when you’re doing better. Stay focused.”

Totally agree, they do sneak back in when I’m doing better. At times it seems like it is done on purpose to throw me off course.

“Your worth is not dependent on someone else’s ability to be kind and loving. Accept this, and start acknowledging your own worth. Stop waiting for others to tell you how important you are. Tell yourself, and believe it.”

This is a really good one. Your self-worth depends on you.

“Remember, you alone get to choose what matters and what doesn’t. The meaning of everything in your life has precisely the meaning you give it.”

This one hit hard. I’ve been going about it the wrong way. I usually give meaning to things that don’t matter, that is my problem. Time to change that.

“Someday you will understand the reasons….that it had to happen, just the way it did….to give you the lessons you needed to grow. It’s never ideal, and it’s rarely easy, but what doesn’t break you today only makes you stronger in the end. Take a deep breath, and keep going.”

The problem, I want to know the reasons now! Oh well, I am moving forward, that’s for sure.

“Everything gets a bit uncomfortable when it’s time to change. That’s just a part of the growth process. Things will get better. Be patient.”

I’m at that uncomfortable place right now. Waiting for the “things will get better” part!

“Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it. Sometimes what you never wanted or expected turns out to be what you need.”

Hmm…hard to grasp this one. I’m learning to trust the journey but it’s the last part that has me confused. Oh well, it will make sense I suppose when I get to journey’s end.

Have an amazing day.

When Silence Speaks

Sometimes we think that silence is just that, a certain quietness where nothing happens. It is a void that is soothing but nothing much comes out of it. I beg to differ. I have found that if you listen carefully, “silence” has much to say.

“It’s been said that actions speak louder than words, sometimes, it’s what you don’t say or do, that sends the loudest message.” Carlos Wallace

Quite often when something doesn’t go our way and we are hurt by another’s actions or words, the first reaction is to let it rip. Let it all out and show them how you feel and during those moments, words are aplenty and so are emotions. However, when all is said and done and you are wrung dry, more often than not you realize that you didn’t achieve anything through those outbursts of the unsavory kind.

“Once you’ve matured, you realize silence is more powerful than proving a point.” Unknown

Maturity doesn’t show up wearing bells and it does not say, “Here I am, take me and use me.” It shows up when you least expect it and when you’ve gone though the growing up process. The one that takes you on the ups and downs, the one where you find yourself down on your knees and the one that shows you there is a better way of doing things without going ballistic. It is the quiet gentle knowledge of knowing that you deserve better and you will move on with grace. No shouting or being loud needed.

“And suddenly I stopped explaining, stopped fixing, and just moved on. I learned that silence speaks louder than words. No response is a response. Now, I don’t chase. I don’t care and I let people feel the weight of their own choices.” Unknown

Easier said than done? I know because I’ve been there. Things are hard and life is harder still but learning to navigate choppy waters is a must if you want life to let up on you. If something doesn’t go your way, take it in stride. If someone doesn’t choose you, let him or her go. If life isn’t going like it’s supposed to, stop, take note, and then move on knowing that whatever it is that life throws your way, you are fully capable of handling it. Let silence be your guide and your best friend. There is much to be learned during your bout with silence if you’ll only listen.

“Silence is not empty, it is the loudest answer.” Unknown

Not only that, it gives you the ability to get your message across WITHOUT SAYING A WORD!

Try it the next time you want to let someone have what is coming to them or you are chomping at the bit to say your piece. Stop and move in silence.

Have an amazing day.

Change is Hard

Change is hard because “our brains are wired to prefer certainty, comfort, and routine, and change threatens our sense of control and security.” Add fear of the unknown to it and it is next to impossible to accept change when it rolls around as it inevitably does because it is a part of life. Change happens whether we like it or not and learning to live with it is a must.

I dig in my heels whenever “change” shows its face around here. My first instinct is to shout out loud more out of fear than anything else. “Oh no, not you again! I don’t need any more changes in my well-organized and well-regimented life,” that is my cry. Change just smiles and takes its place patiently until I come to my senses because it knows that there is no getting away from it, and then it is time to go to work again, getting rid of the old and letting the new in.

“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.” James Belusco and Ralph Stayer

Have you ever struggled to hold onto something when letting go was the only option you had? Did you come up with excuses as to why it needed to stay? Did you turn what was staring you in the face, the truth, into more than what it was? I’m sure all of us have done that at one point or another. Hanging on to what is familiar is easy to do, not much effort is needed, and even if it hurts like hell, it is a much better option then taking the radical route. The one that takes you on a different path, the road less traveled so to speak and not knowing what is around that corner is more than frightening. If truth be told, it is the path that you’ll have to take to free yourself of what is weighing you down and it is the path that comes with changes. Those changes bring uncertainty, they bring pain, they make you accept your inadequacies and at times, they are more than uncomfortable. If you want better, accepting change is the only way to go.

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.” Robin Sharma

I’m at the “messy in the middle” part. The “gorgeous” part hasn’t arrived yet and it is scary at times but I know that if I keep at it and keep moving forward one step at a time, I’ll see the light. What light? The light at the end of the tunnel. Change is hard and I’m discarding as I go and accepting some truths that are needed as I move forward. I’ll get there one day.

Sometimes accepting “change” is the only way to go. Let go of what you give value to when you know that you’re overestimating its worth. Not everything is the “next best thing since sliced bread,” and quite often it is more like stale bread! Accept changes as they come and know it will be hard until it turns into something gorgeous.

Have an amazing day.

Showing Up

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“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.” Brene Brown

It is also the hardest thing to do. Pulling the covers over your head, staying in bed and letting the day carry on without you is the norm and putting all your attention on the one thing or couple of things that tell you, not showing up is the way to go. I think we’ve all had those days and for some, it is a daily existence and for others it is a short stop before we pick up and carry on. Whichever the case may be for you, staying put is not going to do it. It takes courage to move on.

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Brene Brown

Your first step to showing up for yourself is to show up as you are, fears and all. “Showing up is the act of being present and vulnerable, and courage is the ability to do so despite being afraid.” I realized that I haven’t been showing up for myself these past two weeks. Fear has stepped in and peace of mind is nowhere to be seen. I seem to be wading through thick, gooey mud and each step is painstakingly slow if at all. I want the day to go away and staying under the covers is where I would like to spend my days. However, something stopped me in my tracks yesterday. Call it courage, call it intuition, or just my mind telling me to “BUCKLE UP!” and MOVE! It worked.

Today is another day and I am moving for all I’m worth. It’s not the physical kind of moving I’m talking about but the mental and emotional kind. Enough of the self-pity, the negative self talk, and the “I can’t do this” mentality. I know I can and I will!

“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up.” Unknown

It is exactly what I’m doing today. The stalker sent this message last night.

“Good evening Tia, do you know who I am?”

My answer today is, “I don’t give a flying flip!”

I’m on the move again and I intend to show up for myself with bells on! Taking your power back from whatever is holding you back is a necessary step, letting go of people who bring you down is important but more than that, knowing that you are fully capable of handling whatever comes your way is one big leap towards moving on with life.

“There will be moments in life when showing up for yourself will mean leaving behind those who don’t.” Alex Elle

Show up, take life by the horns, and move forward decisively. Exactly what I’m doing today. The sun is showing up after the storm last night and it seems to be a clear signal to get MOVING!

Have an amazing day.

Glennon Doyle (Archives)

She is an American author and queer activist and her podcast “We Can Do Hard Things” won two webby awards. She is empowering, inspirational and her quotes speak to and touch the heart. It has been said that when Glennon Doyle speaks, women listen and I’m one of those women.

“When a women finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.”

Exactly where I’m at now.

“I looked hard at my faith, my friendships, my work, my sexuality, my entire life and asked, “How much of this was my idea? Who was I before I became who the world told me to be?”

I’ve asked myself the self-same question and the answer is, I was free as a bird!

“This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been. There is no map, we are all pioneers.”

“I do not adjust myself to please the world. I am myself wherever I am, and I let the world adjust.”

I know this journey well. I am in the midst of it.

“I have met my self and I am going to care for her fiercely.”

Doing exactly that and I am seeing the benefits.

“We think our job as humans is to avoid pain, our job as parents is to protect our children from pain, and our job as friends is to fix each other’s pain. Maybe that’s why we all feel like failures so often – because we all have the wrong job description for love.”

This one made me stop in my tracks and to take a good hard look at what I’m doing.

“What I want to be, girls, is beautiful. Beautiful means ‘full of beauty.’ Beautiful is not about how you look on the outside. Beautiful is about what you’re made of. Beautiful people spend time discovering what their idea of beauty on this earth is. They know themselves well enough to know what they love, and they love themselves enough to fill up with a little of their particular kind of beauty each day.”

Beautifully said. What’s inside makes you shine on the outside and it can beat physical beauty hands down.

“Reading is my inhale and writing is my exhale.”

I haven’t done much inhaling lately but boy am I exhaling!

Have an amazing day and YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Stay Calm, Stay Focused (Archives)

Staying calm and focused when your mind tells you otherwise is normal. It is human nature. My mind goes haywire and jumps around like a monkey when I’m stressed or I have to concentrate on what is before me and what needs to get done. Oftentimes I need to take a step back, go within myself to find the strength and to focus on what I need to do to move on. It doesn’t always work but it does work if I stay focused.

“The ability to remain calm and focused on what truly matters is a superpower.” Unknown

Be like the tree that has weathered many storms and is still standing. It takes practice and a certain kind of mindset to weather a storm, any storm. If you’ve never worked a day in your life and the time has come to find a job, to get independent and to stand on your own two feet, you tend to lose focus because the unknown is formidable. However, with each fall you take, you gain the strength and the know how to get back up and to keep moving. Time, focus, calm and lots of practice makes it possible and soon you will be standing like that tree, strong and unshakeable in any storm. Breathe and keep moving. Standing still is never the answer.

“Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. C. Lourie

Stay focused but not on the wrong things. I can’t do this is not one of them. This is way too scary is not one of them. The ‘monster’ is too hard to slay is not one of them. Focus on finding the positive within the negative. Be prepared to put one foot in front of the other but whatever you do, do not take the easy way out or rather the coward’s way out and give up. It is easy to give up but much harder to step into an unknown arena and to win the day. YOU CAN DO THIS!

“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breathe and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are. You got this.” Unknown

Finally, tell the monkey in your brain that keeps dragging you all over the place with no end in sight to take a hike! Breathe, calm yourself down and stay focus on what you need to do to make it. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Have an amazing day.

Know Your Worth!

This is a nice one. I read it somewhere and it made me sit up and take notice because quite often we let our “value” go unnoticed and settle for way less than we are worth.

A father said to his son, “You graduated with honors. Here is a Volkswagen Beetle that I bought many years ago….it is over 50 years old, but before I give it to you, take it to a dealership downtown and ask how much they are offering you.”

The son went to the dealership, came back to his father and said, “They offered me $10,000 because it looks very used.” The father said, “Take it to the pawn shop.”

The son went to the pawn shop, came back and said, “They only offered me $1,000 because they say it is too old.”

Finally, the father asked his son to take the car to a classic car club and show it there. The son took the car to the club, came back and said, “Some people at the club offered me $100,000 because it is a very rare car and sought after among the members.”

The father said to his son, “I wanted you to understand that the right place appreciates you in the right way. If they don’t value you, don’t be angry, it just means you’re in the wrong place. Those who know your value are the ones who truly appreciate you. Never stay in a place where they don’t recognize your value!

Know your worth, know your value and if you are not appreciated, LEAVE The right person will know your worth and will appreciate you for who you are.

Have an amazing day.

Mandy Hale Quotes (Archives)

Mandy Hale is a blogger turned New York Times bestselling author and speaker. She is also the creator of the Social Media movement, “The Single Woman.” Mandy has made a name for herself by empowering women with her quotes that speak to the heart of the matter. However, the self-help relationship guru remarried her toxic/narcissist ex who broke her heart many times over. She has written many books and articles about the emotional abuse and betrayals she suffered in that relationship. So WHY go back to him? Nobody knows for sure but ‘love’ does work in mysterious ways and sometimes to the detriment of ‘SELF’ and all that matters! It doesn’t change the power her quotes have to change your mindset. Here are some of them to get your day started.

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake to help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”

“Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.”

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens.”

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

“Sometimes you have to move on without certain people. If they’re meant to be in your life, they’ll catch up.”

“You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Shine on, and dare anyone to turn off your lights.”

“Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is BRAVE, even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.”

“Just be yourself. Let people see the real imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are.”

“Learn to be alone and to like it. There is nothing more freeing and empowering than learning to like your own company.”

My favorite:

You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. (This is a hard one for me.) Dance as though everybody is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.

YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

Have an amazing day!