life lessons – Page 11

Stay Calm, Stay Focused

Staying calm and focused when your mind tells you otherwise is normal. It is human nature. My mind goes haywire and jumps around like a monkey when I’m stressed or I have to concentrate on what is before me and what needs to get done. Oftentimes I need to take a step back, go within myself to find the strength in silence and to focus on what I need to do to move on. It doesn’t always work but it does work if I stay focused.

“The ability to remain calm and focused on what truly matters is a superpower.” Unknown

Be like the tree that has weathered many storms and is still standing. It takes practice and a certain kind of mindset to weather a storm, any storm. If you’ve never worked a day in your life and the time has come to find a job, to get independent and to stand on your own two feet, you tend to lose focus because the unknown is formidable. However, with each fall you take, you gain the strength and the know how to get back up and to keep moving. Time, focus, calm and lots of practice makes it possible and soon you will be standing like that tree, strong and unshakeable in any storm. Breathe and keep moving. Standing still is never the answer.

“Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. C. Lourie

Stay focused but not on the wrong things. I can’t do this is not one of them. This is way too scary is not one of them. The ‘monster’ is too hard to slay is not one of them. Focus on finding the positive within the negative. Be prepared to put one foot in front of the other but whatever you do, do not take the easy way out or rather the coward’s way out and give up. It is easy to give up but much harder to step into an unknown arena and to win the day. YOU CAN DO THIS!

“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breathe and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are. You got this.” Unknown

Finally, tell the monkey in your brain that keeps dragging you all over the place with no end in sight to take a hike! Breathe, calm yourself down and stay focus on what you need to do to make it. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Have an amazing day.

YOU ARE ENOUGH

Just three little words but they are a powerhouse that can open up a world of possibilities, if you grasp the concept, that is. There’s no stopping you once you learn that you don’t need outside validation to measure up, love strokes to make you feel worthy and people to shore you up and to give your life importance.

What do those words mean, you ask? According to melissacamarawilkins.com, it means “that you don’t have to strive to become more worthy, more valid, more acceptable, or more loved. You already are all of those things.”

Just some psychological mumbo jumbo? Perhaps. Think of it this way. If you know within that you don’t have to fight to be accepted, prove to someone you are worthy of love and that YOU are all those things already, that’s half the battle won, isn’t it?

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” Unknown

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Know that, embrace it and move out into the world. It is not kind, this world of ours. There are those who will pull you down for whatever the reason, those who will bully you if you let them and those who will make you doubt your self-worth. None of that will measure up or bring you down once you know deep within that YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

If someone breaks your heart, don’t go into the doldrums of despair although that is easy enough to do. Perhaps, that person was not the right one for you and there is someone out there who will treasure that broken heart, pick up the pieces, tape them together for you. Even if there isn’t, know that everything happens for a reason even if that reason isn’t clear right now. Accept it, trust in the process and move on, one step at a time. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

YOU ARE ENOUGH

There is greatness within you. Look at far you’ve come from the moments or events that have shaped your life and you thought this is it, there is no moving on from here. Whatever “here” was for you at that time but somehow you did. You can weather any storm because the rain doesn’t last forever even though at times it seems never-ending. Know that you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it because you are strong and unbeatable. The spirit within can move mountains if you let it. You just need to change your mindset from one of negativity to positivity. Make loving yourself your ultimate goal. If you don’t, no one will. Be your own best friend, your own cheerleader, and your own champion and hero of your story. You can achieve anything no matter what anyone says. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to realize you’re done descending, and it’s time to rise. Sometimes it takes being told you’re nothing – being made to feel like you’re nothing – to help you see that you are complete.

YOU. ARE. ENOUGH

Mandy Hale

I wish you all the things that make you enough. Love, dreams, hope, courage, kindness and most of all resilience. YOU, my friend, are enough as you are.

Have an amazing day.

Complicated

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I took a walk on Saturday but this time I wasn’t alone. Most days, I like to walk alone but this time around it was a different story. A friend decided to go along but not before we had this conversation.

ME: “You should bring your old, time-worn boots because it will be muddy in places.”

HIM: “I’m not walking in mud!”

ME: “Why not? I walked in mud yesterday and it was wonderful.”

HIM: “Well then, I’ll watch you.”

Complicated? He is, but he doesn’t think so. Or maybe I am.

The walk was great. We walked further than I would do when I’m by myself. The sun was trying to make a showing from behind dark grey clouds but it was a difficult task and a losing battle against the looming clouds. The ground had thawed out from the light snowfall of two days ago and there were some wet patches along the path and I think he did step into one or two mud puddles and if he noticed, he kept it quiet.

Nothing much was moving out there or so it seemed because we were deep in conversation and noise often blocks out what the mind sees when you are alone and your senses are on high alert. We talked about nothing in particular, just life in general. I kept looking for the herons, my new-found passion, but they were nowhere to be seen. We went up and down the hill and then to my surprise a few minutes later there they were, standing silently and pretending not to notice our intrusion into their sacred space. We watched them for a few minutes but they refused to move so we walked on and left them alone. It was a beautiful walk and sometimes having a friend there makes all the difference.

Later that evening, I received a text message from the same friend with this quote attached to it. It was by Jane Austen and it went like this:

“The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much!”

He captioned it: “This fits you well. Somewhat of a compliment.”

Did he just call me complicated? If he did, he is not far from the truth. I’ve heard that label being placed on me many times before but it doesn’t faze me. I’ll wear it gladly. It’s nice to know that women back then had the same problem of trying NOT to fall for the wrong guy although the main theme in Sense and Sensibility is “the danger of excessive sensibility.” It could be the case with me but I am not settling, not just yet. Most of us want to find ‘love’ but falling in love takes more than just a chance meeting. However, I do agree that a man needs to be given a chance before I shut the door on him.

“I am made of little rooms full of thoughts, emotions and memories. You cannot define me by listening to me once. I’m too complex.” Unknown

Why wouldn’t I be complicated? I love spending time out in nature, traipsing around in mud, talking to wild life versus preferring human company and if that is not enough, Chachi, the cat, comes in picking up the slack when it is needed! I go by the motto, why give the milk for free or get the cow for free, something like that but you get the drift. Anyway more specifically, why invest in a cow when you can get the milk for free, dumb maybe BUT it holds some truth to it. If that makes me complicated, I AM.

“Sometimes I think maybe I’m just too complicated for anyone to love.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Paulo Coelho

Coelho’s philosophy emphasizes, “the search for meaning in life. He encourages individuals to explore their passions, discover their true selves and align their actions with their inner values and beliefs.”

His quotes are profound and we kept crossing paths recently. Some made me sit up and take notice and others kept swirling around in my head. They do make you think and that is a good thing about good quotes. Here are some of his more important quotes. Read, enjoy and let them take root.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

I know this one really well. Fear is my constant companion and often it stops me in my tracks and keeps me from moving forward but I am learning.

“Things do not always happen the way I would have wanted and it’s best that I get used to that.”

“You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.”

We know this one well, don’t we? How often have we fallen only to remain there and let life pass us by? More times than I can count on my fingers but I’m learning to move forward, one step at a time.

“Life has a way of testing a persons will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once.”

Yup, when it rains it pours but there is an end to the storm at some point and that is the good news.

“On your journey to your dream, be ready to face oasis and deserts. In both cases, don’t stop.”

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change.”

If that’s the case, I should have won a gold medal by now!

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”

What if that new hello is as bad as the one you left behind? Just asking.

“Close some doors today, not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they lead you nowhere.”

This one is worth noting.

“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”

Hmm….like my walk in the fields?

“Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.”

So true.

“Friendship is not about whom you know the longest. It is about who came and never left.”

I am still learning that not all friends are really friends.

“The secret of life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”

This is my mantra because it basically means, NEVER GIVE UP!

Have an amazing day.

K.I.S.S. (Archives)

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“Keep it simple and focus on what matters. Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed.” Confucius

Confucius knows what he is talking about but how many of us take that advice to heart? Our lives are filled with little and big things that we can’t control or overcome, we let drama take hold and it goes downhill from there.

Why can’t we just keep it simple? Perhaps, it’s because as “humans” we have an urge within to add complexity to the matter at hand. We have a need to complicate versus simplify and that right there is the problem. Complexity is the enemy of simplicity and we are masters at taking something simple and blowing it out of proportion so that it becomes one gigantic problem, add drama to it and you’ve got an almost unsolvable problem and it becomes anything but simple.

If you embrace simplicity, your life becomes less stressed and easier to navigate according to the people in the know.

“Simple means that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. Let this be your mantra as you navigate the choppy waters of life. A recent Stanford study showed that participants who embraced a ‘simplicity first’ mentality were significantly happier, less stressed, and more likely to achieve their goals.”

What does keeping it simple mean? It means just that, keep things simple even though it is hard. Sounds like a conundrum? It might pretty well be. According to moderntherapy.online, here are some steps to help define what keeping it simple means.

Don’t expect too much.

Expect that things may not always be exactly how we want and try to be genuinely okay with it.

Don’t criticize

It is a lose-lose situation and it spreads negative energy. This leads to negative thinking and acting on it. Say or think something positive instead and move on.

Be Present

Living in the moment makes life simpler. Learn to be okay with your feelings even if they are uncomfortable.

Be Kind

Being kind will not only help to make yourself feel better, but it will allow others to get close to you so you can form positive and meaningful relationships.

Redefine things in your life

Attempt to redefine what is important and what it means to you. Prioritize things that will truly make you happy.

Ask why

Question yourself about why you do the things you do. If there are no meaningful answers then you shouldn’t be doing them. Be clear and ask if there is a clear purpose behind what you are doing.

Focus on yourself

Instead of focusing on everyone around you, bring the focus back to you. Shut down the outside noise and try to focus on the noise within. Life becomes better when you separate yourself from what other people think or their expectations.

Keep it simple. The next time life throws something your way which it inevitably will, instead of pouncing on it and turning it into a huge “WHY?” tone it down to, “It happened. Here’s what I am going to do about it.” Easier said than done? I know but worth a try don’t you think? Simplify and show complexity the door and maybe, just maybe it will stop coming around. Hmm…not holding my breath on this one either!

Keep It Simple

Missing somebody?……..CALL

Have a question?………ASK

Want to be understood?…….EXPLAIN

Don’t like something? ……….CHANGE IT

Love someone?………TELL THEM

Want to meet up?……..INVITE

Life is too short for drama.

K.I.S.S.

Keep It Simple Stupid

Have an amazing day.

The Journey

I’ve talked about my journey many times before. It is a journey designed to get me somewhere. Where do I want to go? I want to get to the top of that mountain. I want to say that I made it there leaving all the things that did not serve me behind and I want to feel the freedom of knowing that the “journey” was worthwhile and I can finally breathe again.

“Over time, I have come to believe that “brave” does not mean what we think it does. It does not mean “being afraid” and doing it anyway. Nope. Brave means listening to the still small voice inside and doing as it says. Regardless of what the rest of the world is saying.” Glennon Doyle

I still have a long ways to go but then again easy doesn’t cut it. It takes soul-searching, giving up what holds me back, knowing what I want and the courage to move forward not knowing what that path forward holds. The unknown is always scary but what if there is a “better” than where I am now? A better life, a better existence and perhaps even a better love. I am looking for that needle in the haystack but he is well-hidden and if he is there staring me in the face, I don’t see him yet.

Recently, I shared with a friend that I’m on the verge of giving up as far as that special someone is concerned. I told him I am tired of making treks in the wrong direction and that perhaps love is not in the cards for me. Perhaps, I should just say enough already and give up altogether.

He listened quietly as I vented and then said, “In German there is a saying, you find happiness when you least expect it.” It was profound, perhaps even holding a modicum of truth and coming from a guy wearing a bandana, it made me sit up and take notice. Not that I have anything against bandana-wearing men, I just didn’t expect this kind of deep thinking from him. He’s the rugged outdoorsy type but obviously has a soft core which he keeps well-hidden not visible to the naked eye. That said, nope he is not my guy. Anyway, the light went back on. I realized that I had met my ex when I wasn’t looking. It was my first night out after a long while of mourning over a break up and there he was. Our paths crossed and unknown to us both, the wheels had been set in motion and there was no stopping the path we were on. Perhaps, the inevitable happens when you least expect it and when the time is right.

If that is true, could we make it just a tad easier please? And if it does happen let’s make it forever this time around.

“Breathe through it and release anything that does not serve you.” Unknown

I’m no stranger to breathing. I do all kinds of different breathing techniques, I don’t believe in leaving it to chance so why not try everything there is to try and I might just hit the right one, the breathing technique that is, at some point in time. I’m also hoping that my intuition will take over and point me in the right direction but then fear, my best friend, comes in and blows it all to pieces. This journey has not been easy and making the wrong move from time to time always brings me back to square one. The message is clear, move slowly, one foot in front of the other. Patience is a virtue but not in my case. I’m like a petulant child who stomps her feet and demands that she gets it NOW! Life is not putting up with my temper tantrums so here I am again wondering where I went wrong this last time? I have to learn to bide my time, move with caution for the way forward is not easy to navigate and one false move and I am back to where I started from and I don’t want that.

“I was lucky enough to have been to rock bottom before, right? So I know for a fact, that rock bottom is always the beginning of the newness. It hurts and its painful, and then there’s the waiting……where you don’t know what the hell is going on and you don’t think any of it is going to make sense and then,

THERE’S THE RISING.”

I am waiting to exhale. I am waiting for “the rising” when all is made new again and I am given another chance at life, at love, at living and finally breathing freely again. I am looking forward to saying, “It was tough but I made it!”

-Say the thing you must say.

-Go where you must go.

-Learn what you must leave.

-Do what you must do.

-Trust yourself.

When They Say:

You seem out of control…..

You Say:

Thank you. That’s the plan.

For the rest of my life.

Glennon Doyle

Have an amazing day.

–

Becoming Your Best Self

I don’t think I am obsessed with becoming my best self but I would like to get halfway there at least. Learning to achieve that goal is not easy because it takes practice and a driven mindset to get there. I am still learning and keeping at it and who knows one day I might say, I did it!

Becoming your best self is not an overnight process and neither does it happen by pressing a button. It doesn’t happen accidentally, it doesn’t happen by chance and it doesn’t happen by waving a magic wand either. It takes action on your part and a commitment to self-discovery and self-development.

“To be your best self you’ll need to first discover who you really are, then maximize your strengths and improve on your weaknesses. You need to completely shift your mindset and take control of your life. When you do, you’ll discover a whole new you.” http://www.tonyrobbins.com

This journey is a hard one. You’ll encounter the good and bad moments, some will be messy and progress will be slow but if you persist and set goals you can achieve anything. Becoming your best self means opening yourself up to challenges, accepting the setbacks and living life to the fullest.

“Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.” Matthew McConaughey

According to notesbythalia.com, you need to practice wellness daily because it goes hand-in-hand with working towards your best self.

Get at least 7 hours of sleep daily. Move your body as much as you can. Eat well. Build healthy habits. Dedicate time to self-care.

You can’t lay in bed and manifest your dreams. It takes action to succeed. Ask yourself, what is success to you? Set value-driven goals and become “razor-clear on what your future vision looks like.” Align your daily habits with who you want to be and the life you want to live. “Boost your overall health, well-being and productivity,” meaning even your smallest daily actions will determine your future self.

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” Paulo Coelho

In a nutshell, becoming your best self requires going within to discover the greatness there. It requires strength to bring it to the fore AND it requires courage and hard work to make it shine.

“You are what you believe yourself to be.” Paulo Coelho

Change that mindset from one of negativity to positivity and watch your life take off!

But before you do that:

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, INCLUDING YOU.” Anne Lamont

Then go out and:

BE YOUR VERY BEST SELF!

Have an amazing day.

Chapters (Archives)

“Life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some are happy and some are exciting, but if you never turn the page, you will never know what the next chapter has in store for you.” Unknown

However, turning that page and moving on to the next chapter is the hard part. Sometimes we want to stay where we are because the unknown is the unknown. We don’t know what is waiting there and that is the scary part and the known where we are right now even though painful, sad, or is just downright unbearable is better than where we are headed or so we think.

“A chapter in someone’s life or in history is a period of time during which a major event or series of related events takes place.” http://www.collinsdictionary.com

Our lives are made up of many chapters, some good, some bad, some happy, some sad and some you may just want to BURN because you never want to revisit or reread that chapter ever again but whatever the case maybe it is all part and parcel of your life story. Learn from it and move on.

Think of life as a book and you have a story to tell. Sometimes you write the narrative but at other times it is written for you. It could be a moment in time when life comes to a screeching halt because of some unforeseen circumstance or it could be the most beautiful moment in your life that makes you want to float on air, dance and shout to the heavens at just how happy you are. They are moments and events in your life and it doesn’t matter what they are, those chapters makeup your life story, good or bad. Embrace them for what they are as lessons that needed to be learned and lived through.

Life can be difficult and there is no doubt about that. Nothing ever stands still for long. Changes come and go and just when you think you have a hold on life, it changes the playbook and turns your world as you know it upside down. The truth is, life is there to teach us lessons whether we want to learn or not. It is not like school where we show up and when we shut the book, it is over. In the school of life, you can’t just shut the book and walk away. It would be easier if we could but no chance there. It wants to TEACH and you better pay ATTENTION is the message. The truth of the matter is, you can start anew or you are given a chance to do so and that too is the idiosyncrasy of life. No matter where you are and even if you feel like it’s the end and YOU can’t write another chapter, it shows you otherwise. Whether you come out with the best grades is all up to you and in the school of life, strength matters and the courage to keep going is what is needed to move forward. It’s not going to be easy and it is going to require superhuman strength but if you keep chipping away at that rock or mountain standing in your way, you will make it to the other side at some point in time.

Wipe those tears aways, brush your hair, get dressed and stand back up. Your story is not over. You need to get to the other side of this whatever ‘this’ is for you. It could be a painful breakup, it could be the loss of a loved one or it could be that you just can’t seem to get a handle on life and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get it going. Guess what? You can and you will. It takes guts, it takes courage and the will to do so.

“Don’t give up because of one bad chapter in your life. Keep going. Your story doesn’t end here.”

That’s absolutely right. You have a story to tell so get out there, put your best intentions forward and make it a bestseller. Make it the best one yet! Turn that page, who knows the ‘best’ maybe just around the corner.

“Today I close the door to the past, open the door to the future, take a deep breath, step on through and start a new chapter in my life.”

Don’t forget to smile while you’re doing it!

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Pay Attention

Life often speaks in whispers at the beginning, it stomps its feet if you don’t listen and it screams to get your attention when you’re heading towards a head-on collision. Through it all, it has your back and is on your side if only you are willing to pay attention to what it has to say. And that is the hard part.

“Consider for a moment what you pay attention to all day long. What seems important to you, what do you take for granted and hardly attend to at all? Write it down. Do not judge your answers. Be honest and simple. As you keep track all week long, you’ll be amazed at what claims your attention what you give your precious life force to.” Brenda Shoshanna

The truth is as “humans” we march to our own drumbeat. We see what is not good for us, we know it spells trouble and we know if we keep going down that path, it will take us to exactly where we don’t want to go BUT we are hell-bent on doing it anyway. Are we wired for destruction, is that what we seek? At times, it seems that way but luckily for us, life comes in and shows us the way out but only if we pay attention.

“Pay attention to the signs. Stop making excuses for people. Stop defending their inconsiderate ways. Start taking care of you and your own needs.” Unknown

I do that all the time. Make excuses for inconsiderate people that is BUT there comes a point in time when I say enough is enough and then I shut the door behind me but unfortunately, it is always a day late and a dollar short. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way but most of us do. Don’t ask me why but we just do. Do we get a thrill out of pain? I don’t know but not paying attention when life is screaming seems to be the problem.

When we don’t pay attention to love, it has a tendency to bring us down to our knees and then we ask what happened? We know exactly why. The answers have been staring us in the face even before the collision happened.

Pay Attention To Her:

When a woman is “tripping” she cares, when a woman is “mad” she believed in you and you let her down, when she is “asking questions” she is trying to gain clarity, when she is “quiet” and letting things slide she is giving up….And when she is not doing all of the above…just know you have lost a good woman.” Unknown

AND

“Sometimes you have to put aside what you feel for them, and PAY ATTENTION to what their actions are saying they feel for you.”

Finally, paying attention seems to be the key to a better life, better relationships and a better way through the intricate maze we call life. Pay attention to the signs before it is too late. Not easy to do as always but there is no other way it seems.

Listen to the wind, it talks.

Listen to the silence, it speaks.

Listen to your heart, it knows. Native American Proverb

Have An Amazing Day

Change Your Strategy

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“Failure is hard. But turn those failures into learning experiences, so that you’ll look back and be happy that you failed, because you gained more knowledge from that experience. Sometimes, it’s simply an indication to change your strategy instead of giving up completely.” Albert Rogers

“Change your strategy” is often used in the business world to place emphasis on a module that is not working so it’s time to regroup and refocus your energy into bringing in new options to make whatever is not working into a workable one. This concept works in real-life as well. If something doesn’t work, change it. Seems like a great idea at first glance but hard to put into action if you love the ‘plan’ you’ve put into action and and are dead set against changing it. If you’re someone who doesn’t like change like yours truly here, it is a concept that is hard to comprehend let alone to work with.

“Waiting for something outside you to change before you change is a broken strategy. Fix it by deciding to be someone different and do something different. Transformation happens from the inside out if you take action.” Unknown

Taking that into account, it seems like the most sensible way to go about changing failure into a success story. The problem is you must want to. It’s not going to work any other way. Pinpoint the problem, refocus your energy, find ways to take a failure and change it into a winning solution and put it into action. If you think you’re doing everything right and you still don’t understand why you’re failing then it’s time to really look at what you’re doing and find a different way of doing it. There’s more than one way to skin a cat as the euphemism goes and no matter how offensive that might be, being a cat lover myself, it just means there are other ways of doing something. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Be open to change and change your strategy. However, there are times when you can do everything possible until you’re blue in the face and still the same old failure concept comes knocking at your door and if that’s the case, do not despair. You’ll get there, just keep trying.

Learn to roll with the punches, keep getting back up when life knocks you down and never ever give up.

“When you face failures, don’t change your goal, change your strategy.” Vivek Bindra

I’ve experienced life in all its wonderful and not so wonderful facets and the one that I hate or hated the most was change. My motto was, “Why fix something if it ain’t broke.” The actual thought behind that was, “I like where I’m at, good or bad and change is for the birds!” It took years of resistance, falling down, refusing to get back up and digging my heels in AND screaming, “Leave me alone!” to realize that change is an integral part of life. It teaches us in a not so nice way that it’s needed, falling makes you gain experience and you learn that YOU are not God. So move along, embrace change before it’s too late. I learned it the hard way and I still bristle when I see ‘change’ coming around but these days I’m ready to embrace it, learn what it has to offer and to accept it for what it is. A lesson learned because it has to be learned.

“Failure is nothing more than a chance to revise your strategy.” Unknown

Oops! I’ve got to run. I see ‘change’ approaching wearing a smile on its face and with bells clanging and I’m not in the mood for it today. Just kidding.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.