love – Page 20 – Site Title

Chachi Talk

Chachi, the cat, has been feeling down in the dumps for the last couple of days. His girlfriend, “The Girl from Ipanema” has disappeared and I think he misses her. The village “runaround” has been a no show for over a week so I decided to have a heart to heart or rather human to fur ball talk.

ME: Let’s talk Peaches. Tell me what’s wrong.

CHACHI: Peaches? Cookie Dough? Buttercup? Lovey? Mom, you’ve got to treat me like the “man” I am!

ME: I’m sorry Chachi. I’ll try better.

CHACHI: What kind of name is Chachi anyway? Einstein is a good one and Christopher Columbus even better!

Little Macho was in his element now!

ME: Alright Einstein it is. Suits you well I must say. You’re one smart little cookie!

EINSTEIN: There you go again! Cookie?!! While we’re at it, stop manhandling me! The kisses are a little too much and picking me up every chance you get is a no go either!

ME: I’m sorry. I’ll cut back on the kisses and I’ll try not to pick you up no matter how cute you look!

EINSTEIN: Now, we’re getting somewhere! I like this “talk” thing. One more thing since I’m the only cat, you need to play with me a little more.

ME: I promise I will or at least make time for you.

EINSTEIN: Another important thing. Stop bringing those creeps around! You don’t need them, you’ve got me. I don’t like that “Cheesecake” guy and I don’t like how he looks at you! The last time he was here, I zeroed in on him and I think he got the message!

ME: Anything else?

EINSTEIN: Talking was great. It went well don’t you think?

ME: Glad you think it did.

NOTE TO SELF: You need to reel this little macho in. He’s getting too big for his britches!

This Last Candle

“Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind.” Nathaniel Hawthorne

I love candles, especially the scented variety. Today, I reached for another one of the beautiful scented kind and realized it was the last one!

You kept those candles coming. Every weekend you would bring me a new one to add to the growing collection and I took it all for granted thinking it would never end. It did end because you’ve been gone for over two years and this last candle brings home the fact that you are really gone. It is sadness I feel because a beautiful part is missing and it is not just the candles.

I remember it well. The memory of your smile, the kindness, the giving but most of all the strength behind that gentle facade. I tell people, “You made my life easier.” I still see you as you were in happier times. The laughter, the talks, the walks but most of all the times shared. I still see you as you were.

This last candle symbolizes the fact that you are really gone and “YOU” are slowly being erased from my life. However, I still see the gifts scattered around the house. The beautiful blue and white Chinese vases that you gifted one Christmas because you knew I loved them. The beautiful framed picture of Chachi, the cat, doing his most beautiful pose and so many big and little things that made and make your presence be known. It also brings home the fact that the generous showing of “love” has stopped but one thing remains and it keeps on giving.

Chachi, the cat was your gift to me. I remember the day the tiny British short-hair showed up at my doorstep in your arms. You wanted to see joy in my eyes but instead you got disbelief and even a little anger. Cats reel me in hook, line and sinker and having lost “Twitty” not too long ago, I wasn’t ready to let another fur ball get close to me. You put Chachi on the floor and little cuteness walked up to me, put one paw on my leg and raised his eyes to me to get a closer look and I fell like a ton of bricks! I guess it was the greatest gift you gave me. The little guy brings me joy, gives me love and watches me like a hawk!

As I light this last candle today, memories of you flood my mind but they are good ones and of good times shared together. I know you are where you need to be, free of pain and at peace.

Fly high with the angels Mike for you are one of them now and thank you.

“Time goes by so fast. People come in and out of our lives so quickly. Never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you…..before it’s too late.” Unknown

The Cinderella Effect (Archives)

A friend sent this a few days ago and it got me thinking.

“If life doesn’t feel like a fairytale,

If every beautiful sentence seems like ridiculous madness to you…..

Take your existence by the hand,

Be the artist of your own future,

Don’t wait for toads to turn into princes, or pumpkins into carriages,

Remember that everything that was conquered with effort, smells of joy that knows no limits,

Be your own fairytale.” Unknown

I would love to take that last line to heart but fairytales are made of fairy dust and all things nice. The guy gets the girl, a pair of glass slippers has the power to snare a prince and there is a fairy godmother who orchestrates the whole shebang! How far from the truth can it be? These days things just don’t work that way. I am not sure if it did work that way in Fairytale Land but make-believe is just that, you can work magic into anything and parade it as the truth and have people swallow it lock, stock and barrel!

These days you pick someone out of a dating site, whichever it might be. Then begins the excruciating task of deciding if it’s a “yes” a “no” or it lands in the maybe pile. It all boils down to as the saying goes from the Frog Prince, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince.” Not appetizing is it? And even then, you might just walk away with nothing to show for it and that is the reality of it.

Life is not a fairytale. The girl doesn’t always get the guy in the end and there is no walking off into the sunset and happily ever after either. More often than not the shoe doesn’t fit and heartbreak follows in its wake. I could go on and on but I am going to stop right here and lighten the mood a little. I hope these quotes help to keep you company as we go through life searching for that needle in the haystack.

“Someday my Prince Charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.” Unknown

That hasn’t changed much. You know what I am talking about if you’ve ever been in a car with a guy and he refuses to admit that he’s lost. Nothing new there.

I love this next one from Ms. Oprah Winfrey.

“Mr. Right’s coming, but he’s in Africa, and he’s walking.”

Ms. Carrie Bradshaw had a lot to say on this topic as well.

And just like that:

“A relationship is like couture. If it doesn’t fit perfectly, it’s a disaster.”

The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

“Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want and just see what happens.”

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a girl will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

Don’t despair. As the Fairy Godmother said:

“Even miracles take a little time.”

If all else fails,

Ladies,

Please stop wasting your time looking for Mr. Right.

Just find Mr. Left and drag that sucker to the right!

Just an update on this one. IT DOES NOT WORK and I’m still looking!

Have an amazing day.

Living Your Best Life

“Put yourself first on your priority list and watch your life get better.” Unknown

One interpretation of living your best life is to “live a life that makes you happy and also one that allows you to live your full potential.” quora.com

Concentrating on yourself is of the utmost importance. If you want to live your best life, put yourself first and foremost on that priority list. It starts with YOU and if you can get your act together everything else falls into place and even if it doesn’t, give it time to right itself out. In the meantime you’re standing where you should be and that is at the top of your list.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” Unknown

Each day do what is necessary to get yourself back on track. If you’re down on your knees, stand back up. If all you see is grey clouds and no sunshine, make your own sunshine. Put on a smile, get dressed and go out and shine! Never underestimate the power of a smile, it does wonders for your psyche and your soul. So make sure to wear one even if you don’t feel like it.

Talk to yourself. Tell yourself, “I love you!” Sounds crazy? Not really. Sometimes or rather more often than not, we forget the person we carry around with us. The special someone who stands by us through all our big and little moments of sadness, joy, heartbreak and everything else that goes to make up this life of ours. Show it some LOVE. I’ve started doing this practice of positive self-talk and I say, “I love you,” “I’m thankful for your support,” and “I’m grateful for all the things you do for me.” After I finish I give myself a hug, a make-believe one but a hug nonetheless. This has proved to be an absolute game changer and within a few minutes I feel calmer and “happiness” courses through my whole being. Not always but that is okay too.

Here’s another important point. If you want to live your best life, don’t beat yourself up. You’re beautiful as you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! We are our own worst enemy and I know I am. I often tell myself, “Your hair looks bad today!” Or that little spot on my face has taken gigantic proportions and is now staring back at me with a grin. Sometimes I say, “I just don’t like how I look!” I’m learning to tone down the rhetoric and to be kinder and gentler with myself. These days if someone says, “You look good,” I accept it wholeheartedly without resorting to, “but that’s not what I saw this morning as I looked in the mirror!” Vanity can be a downer at times but learning to accept yourself flaws and all is the way to go.

One Day It Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Unknown

Go out and live your very best life and while you’re doing it don’t forget to have an amazing day!

TRUST

A series on Getting Back on Track

“There are two reasons why we don’t trust people.

First – we don’t know them.

Second – we know them.” Unknown

The other day someone asked me, “Why can’t you trust me? Today as I walk the route I always take, thoughts run through my mind and this question arises over and over again. ”Why can’t I trust him and especially anyone for that matter?”

Then this quote pops into my mind. I’ve heard it many times before but today as the trust issue resurfaces, it brings new significance to it.

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.” Dhar Mann

It is defined as “having confidence in someone or something” and it means, “I can rely on you to do the right thing.”

Several years ago, I found myself face to face with the horrific dilemma of having placed my trust in the person who had sworn to love and protect me till the end of time and he turned out to be the same person who brought me down to my knees when he took that trust and threw it out the window for a roll in the hay with someone else. It had taken 17 years to build, the foundation was being laid brick by brick but it took only seconds to destroy and the “forever” part well I know that it will take forever to repair.

As I round a bend in the path all is quiet and it is grey and foggy. I realize that it is the perfect stage for where I am right now. Then a small smile crosses my face as I see this quote flash by out of nowhere.

“Don’t ask me to trust you when you’ve given me every reason not to.” Unknown

I don’t think it is about playing detective, trying to find out if you’re telling the truth and keeping tabs on everything you do. It is more about that feeling within, that intuition or call it gut feeling, if you will, that tells me that something is not right here. Pay heed to that gut instinct because it has your best interest at heart. No matter how he professes to love you and even if he stands on his head and declares that he has been faithful to you, take it with a pinch of salt or better still, tell yourself I have “forever” in front of me and time enough for you to show me that I CAN TRUST YOU.

Once I caught my ex in the act of cheating and being the liar he is, I told him, even if I catch you in the act, you will jump up and say, “You didn’t see what you just saw!” Cheaters, well there are plenty of them out there and before placing your trust on a whim or in a moment’s notice, take your time, observe, pay attention to the signs and never, NEVER be pushed into trusting someone simply because they say so.

“Some people aren’t loyal to you, they are loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty.” Unknown

Coming back to the question asked by this friend. ”Why can’t you trust me?” My answer goes like this. ”You know the answer and the truth lies within you.” On this journey I have chosen, I am looking for that needle in the haystack.

“I want to hold your hand at 90 and say, “We made it.” Unknown.

If I may add to that, perhaps only then can I say, “I trust you with my whole heart and you will just have to be patient. We have time enough until then.”

The sun is starting to peek out and today is going to be an amazing day.

I am moving on……

This Friendship Thing

Photo by Vija Rindo Pratama on Pexels.com

“Sometimes you need someone to be there for you. Not to fix the problem or offer advice or do anything in particular, but simply to be there. To show up. To be present with what you’re feeling. To see what you’re going through. To see you, understand you.” Unknown

Can men and women just be friends? This is the question that popped up, “When Harry Met Sally,” and sent some of us scrambling for answers. The answer as far as I’m concerned is that it is next to impossible in most cases.

I used to be the proverbial tomboy in my younger days and as such I had some wonderful friendships with the boys I hung out with. It was nothing sexual but of the innocent variety. I had my pigtails tucked under my cap and my ensemble of shorts and t-shirt had seen better days but I was for all purposes one of the boys.

It all changed when I turned sixteen. I got asked out on my first date. He was cute and I accepted. It was also the first time that I had worn my long hair down leaving it brushed and shiny and I wore a dress for the very first time! Lo and behold, things changed after that. I was no longer “one of the boys” but someone they wanted to dance with and spend time with. However, this friendship thing was still there. I learned that boys and later men make very good friends. There is none of the bitchiness, envy or jealousy, it was just straightforward, “I’m your friend,” stuff and all that it entails.

Later during my university days “friendship” with young men was still going strong. I had lots of men friends and although some were happy to be just a friend, others wanted more and that became complicated and made things difficult.

Now, I’m finding out that men are not as simple as they seem. There is a thing called, “friends with benefits,” and it is not my thing and never has been. I’m seeking the pure friendship variety like I used to know when life was simple and innocence was front and center. The problem is no matter how hard I try to make it clear right from the start it never fails before it starts heading in an unwanted direction. Not too long ago, I had this conversation with a male friend. We’ve known each other for quite some time and we’ve done walks, lunches and dinners but nothing more. Well, just a hug or a peck on the cheek as friends do. Here’s how the conversation went.

Me: Wouldn’t it be nice to have a Pyjama Party? We can watch some movies and just talk?

Him: I would like some snacks.

Me: Sure, I can get that.

I was thinking this is going great. Just some company with no hassles whatsoever!

Him: I don’t think I can do that!

Me: Why not?

Him: I CAN’T!”

Hmm…does everything have to be sexual? He was honest and that was a good thing but I wanted my good old days back and the reality is, those days have flown the coop!

Let me ask you:

“Can men and women ever just be friends?”

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” Ed Cunningham

Have an amazing day.

Taking Things for Granted

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“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” Cynthia Qzick

We do that a lot don’t we? We take people who love us for granted and things that serve us for granted as well. I think it is a given in this fast-paced world of ours. We’re on the move and our focus is on a hundred little and big things that there is no time to stop and appreciate what is staring us in the face. We do take notice when the person is no longer there or the thing you depended on has taken a break for whatever the reason.

Learning to appreciate or to give gratitude is a lost art of sorts it seems. I learned it the hard way this past week as my dependable car, the four-wheeled contraption decided to show me that sometimes it needs a break too. I am very focused where my car is concerned. I make sure the service gets done and the summer and winter checks get done as well but this year I let the winter check go unnoticed. A well-meaning friend told me that it wasn’t necessary to get it done every year and I listened. I noticed that the car wasn’t heating as it should and still I left it to chance. It (the car) let it be known clearly and loudly that it was a no go! It is now in the service shop and has been there for the last 4 days. The water tank or tube or whatever you call it has a crack and needs to be replaced. I HOPE that is the only thing wrong with it!

The thing is, now I realize how dependent I’ve been on it to take me from Point A to Point B and I gave it no thought at all. It was a given and now I know that I’ve been taking it for granted.

Sometimes we need to stop, take a good hard look at the people and things we depend on and show them the gratitude they deserve. We tend to leave such things to a later point in time or only when they are gone or missed and that is not going to do it. Take the time to say, “I thank you,” or “I love you,” or even “I’m grateful” before it’s too late.

“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” G. K. Chesterton

Have an amazing day.

Update:

The car is back after getting a new water pump and a thermostat. It seems to be working fine and just in case, I gave it a well-deserved hug!

HOPE

Looking back at 2024, it was a year of ups and downs, of small successes and big failures, of letting go and holding on and of falling down and picking myself back up, dusting off and moving on. It was of learning who I am, of surprising myself with what I discovered and accepting the inevitable. Through it all, there was hope at the end of the tunnel and like a beacon it beckoned. It said, “you can make it if you just put one foot in front of the other.” So I kept going clinging to the promises that hope made.

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” Christopher Reeve

Here we are in the new year and it is time to write on the blank page. Today as I glance at the new year ahead, I know I’ve grown, I’ve learned some lessons and I have let go of things that don’t serve me anymore. I hope that the path ahead will be easier than the last but then again when have we known life to be easy. But there is hope.

I hope I will find what I am searching for. Finding that elusive thing called love will not be easy. I am hoping that when I do, it will light me up from within and I will learn to fly again. There is hope.

Fear would have taken a step back and I will set forth wearing my armor of courage and nothing will make me stumble and when fear beckons as it always does because it has been a constant companion in this journey I call life, I will look it in the face and keep on forging ahead. There is still hope.

The road to success is paved with many stumbling blocks but putting one foot in front of the other will take me there. Looking up at that insurmountable mountain will make me want to run and take cover and fear will tell me that I am not going to make it but the path ahead is where I need to go, one small step at a time. There is hope.

A friend told me that he was alright in his comfort zone. He was happy sitting on the ledge and staring into the distance of nothingness. I told him life does not exist in a vacuum, my friend. It was time for him to move and take that tiny step forward. ”But what if I fall?” he asked. ”Oh but what if you fly?” I said. There is hope.

No one knows what the year ahead holds. One thing is for sure the journey forward won’t be easy and at times more than daunting. The miles to walk will be long and scary and looking for those elusive answers will be like looking for that needle in the haystack. But when all is said and done, I hope I will be standing at the finish line when this new year is done and looking back with a smile on my face at a year full of surprising finishes and much success. There is still hope.

Nikki Banas says it like this.

“If you only carry one thing throughout your entire life, let it be hope. Let it be hope that better things are always ahead. Let it be hope that you can get through even the toughest of times. Let it be hope that you are stronger than any challenge that comes your way. Let it be hope that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now, and that you are on the path to where you are meant to be. Because during these times, hope will be the very thing that carries you through.”

So my friends, let “hope” take us through this year and to the finish line.

Have an amazing day.

Love is….

I took a walk in nature today to clear my mind and somehow came back home with love on my mind. What is it? Is it just a feeling or something more? Don’t ask me why or how I got on this topic but it crossed my mind and here I am ready to see what it’s all about it.

“Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust.” http://www.verywellmind.com

I decided to look a little deeper and found some quotes that describe love in all its entirety and here are some of my favorites.

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” Paulo Coelho

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times.” Ann Landers

I like the next one a lot. Why? Because I am a romantic at heart and it speaks to my soul. See what I mean?

“Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing.” Torquato Tasso

“I don’t want a perfect person. I just want someone to act silly with, someone who treats me well and loves being with me more than anything.” Unknown

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” Oscar Wilde

Oscar said it well, don’t you think? Simply beautiful.

“The real lover is a man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.” Marilyn Monroe

Who knew Ms. Monroe had it in her. The blonde bombshell went deeper than her looks and I love that quote.

Next is my girl, Carrie Bradshaw. She knows her love material well.

“I am someone who is looking for real love; ridiculous. inconvenient. consuming. can’t-live-without-each other love.”

“I’d like to think that people have more than one soulmate. If you miss one, along comes another. Like cabs.”

I am not too sure about that one. Perhaps they won’t be called soulmates anymore. Just run of the mill types who walk in and out of your life and that might be a more appropriate description.

My favorite of them all is this one below.

“The heart that’s meant to love you will fight for you when you want to give up, pick you up when you’re feeling down, and will give their smile when it’s hard for you to find yours. They will NEVER get strength from seeing you weak, power from seeing you hurt, or joy from seeing you cry. The heart that’s meant to love you wants to see the best of you, not the hurt you! Never forget that.” Trent Shelton

Feeling all loved up? I know I am. Enjoy your day.

Have an amazing day.

Feeling Loved?

People aside, I would say I feel loved when I see the look in Chachi, the cat’s eyes. When the little guy glances at me, I see it. What? I see the “look of love” and it is unmistakable. A soft purr, a wink and a softness signals his way of saying “I love you.” It is often followed by him rubbing his body up against my leg and hunching his back waiting to be picked up.

I say the little guy is a mommy’s boy. Just last night, he cuddled up close in bed. Then he turned his head sideways to look at me and when I planted a kiss on his soft furry cheek, the “purr” took on a life of its own and went to new heights. It went from soft to a high shrill purr. Happy? I suppose so. It takes very little to make him happy but his love is unconditional and the best part, there are no mind games and no guessing games either! What you see is what you get and I like that a lot. So yes, the little bundle of joy in a fur coat makes me feel loved and that is putting it mildly!

Daily writing prompt

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

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