Mental health – Page 4

Loose Lips Sink Ships

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Update: I wrote this during Trump’s first term and nothing has changed it seems. If anything, he is shooting off “bullets” before his mind can catch up with him! The bully is front and center and he is using the office of the presidency to back him up. Talks of taking Greenland by force, talking down to the allies and single-handedly dismantling the “Old World Order” is all within his grasp and he is leaving nothing to chance. This is what I had to say back then.

The 45th President is in hot water again and this just days after the controversial firing of FBI Director, James Comey. The president alleged that the firing was due to Comey “not doing a good job,” and instead of leaving it at that, he went on to tweet a thinly veiled threat suggesting that there was a taped recording of his conversation with Comey further adding, “James Comey better hope that there are no ‘tapes’ of our conversations before he starts leaking to the press.” That threw him into the eye of the hurricane where he has been ever since.

As if that wasn’t enough to throw his presidency into a downward spiral, the president was off and running to his next debacle. This one involves allegations that he divulged classified information to Russian diplomats in the Oval Office. The Washington Post reported that Trump revealed highly classified information on the Islamic State group during his meeting with Russia’s Foreign Minister, Sergei Lavrov and Russian Ambassador, Sergey Kialyak. Yes folks, ignorance is bliss and where the new President is concerned, it’s enough to “sink ships,” or his Presidency.

The latest morsel of “red meat” was just what the press needed to send them scrambling to get the best angle on the developing story as dreams of “impeachment” riddled through the minds of die-hard Trump haters. Not so fast people. There is such a thing as damage control and the White House has been doing just that sending in the “big guns” to take care of business. If Spicer’s “stare down the press” tactics hasn’t worked, well, maybe sending in National Security Advisor HR McMaster might just do the job. In his no-nonsense fashion, he denied that the President had revealed, “Intelligence sources or methods,” but reviewed, “a range of common threats to our two countries including threats to civil aviation.” Was that enough to calm the “storm” and bring it to a screeching halt? Guess again.

Trump’s questionable tweets and actions have put his Presidency in turmoil once again and not even all the President’s men and women can put it back together again. This latest drama is one of his own making and if he doesn’t stop shooting off tweets from the White House during the early morning hours instead of getting some sleep, this situation is only going to get worse. Perhaps, he should take a tip from the 44th President, Barack Obama, when the going gets tough, go golfing. There is no better way to let off some steam than by shooting a small ball into a round hole at the same time cussing under your breath about all the wrongs of the world that needs righting. A surefire way to keep the lid on an explosive situation and you come off looking like a winner.

One last thing, the office of the President deserves a modicum of decorum and spouting off “secrets” at the drop of a coin and shooting off tweets like a teenager is not the way to get it.

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Anxiety

Anxiety is defined as, “a natural response to pressure, feeling afraid or threatened, which can show up in how we feel physically, mentally, and in how we behave. It’s common to describe anxiety as a feeling of dread, fear or unease, which can range from mild to severe.”

It can also be a normal reaction to stress and it walks in and stays for awhile sometimes making your daily existence a living hell. It can overwhelm at times but the mild variety doesn’t stay for too long. Occasional anxiety is normal and it dissolves when whatever got you “hyped up” dissipates.

“Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.” Khalil Gibran

Sound familiar? Something is not working right and there we go. Sweating, breathing hard and to make matters worse, we stay fixated on the problem wanting to control the outcome. I’ve been having such episodes lately. I love fixing things and sometimes even before they happen! When it doesn’t go as planned, my thoughts get erratic, I experience restlessness, and irritability. I’ve been looking at ways to not let “anxiety” get the better of me. One method is to focus your thoughts on things that bring “good vibes” into your being. The other is to exercise for all you’re worth or to just get out in nature, breathe and let go. If that doesn’t work, here’s something that might just do the trick.

Mantra for anxiety:

“Anxiety isn’t you. It’s something moving through you. It can leave out of the same door it came in.” James Clear

AND

“Trust yourself. You’ve survived a lot, and you’ll survive whatever is coming.” Robert Tew

I like what Dr. Lucy Russell has to say about this topic.

“We have anxious thoughts because the brain is trying to keep us alive. To the brain, survival is much more important than happiness. So, the brain often conjures up worst case scenarios and “what ifs”, so that we can prepare for disaster. The trouble is, the brain regularly gets it wrong.”

All that preparation for nothing? Well, sometimes it is and at other times, it is needed to wade through the murky waters of anxiety.

How do you lessen anxiety naturally?

You can practice mindfulness, try different breathing techniques to calm the nervous system, practice daily meditation and use guided imagery to lessen the stress and to get clarity on the problem at hand.

If that fails, try the following.

“Breathe. You’re going to be okay. You’ve gotten through so many things in your life. YOU’VE GOT THIS.” Karen Salmansohn

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

The king wanted to go fishing, and he asked the royal weather forecaster the forecast for the next few hours. The palace meteorologist assured him that there was no chance of rain.

So the king and the queen went fishing. On the way he met a man with a fishing pole riding on a donkey, and he asked the man if the fish were biting.

The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge rainstorm.”

The king replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him.”

So the king continued on his way. However, in a short time a torrential rain fell from the sky The King and Queen were totally soaked.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the meteorologist. Then he summoned the fisherman and offered him the prestigious position of royal forecaster.

The fisherman said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.”

So the king hired the donkey.

And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in influential positions of government.

The practice is unbroken to this date.

Need I say more? 🤣🤣🤣

LOL!

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A farmer stopped by a local mechanic shop…..

… to have his truck fixed.They thought it might have something to do with the transmission, so they couldn’t repair it while he waited.

He told the mechanics that he didn’t live far and would just walk home.On the way home, he stopped at a hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.

However, struggling outside the store, he now had a problem.How to carry his purchases home.Whilst he was scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.She asked, “can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?” The farmer said, ‘well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to this house. I would walk you there, but I can’t carry this lot.” The old lady suggested, “why don’t you do this? Put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in the other hand.”

“Well, thank you very much.That works just fine,” he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way, he said, “let’s take my usual shortcut and go down this alley.We’ll be there in no time.” The little old lady looked him over cautiously and said, “I’m a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.How do I know that when we get in the alleyway, you won’t have your wicked way with me?”

The farmer said with some irritation, “holy smokes, lady, I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world would I do that?”

The old lady said, “well, set the goose down, cover him with a bucket, put a can of paint on top of the bucket and I’ll hold the bloody chickens.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Day 4 of 365!

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We’re into Day 4 and I can’t help but ask, didn’t we just get started? Anyway, the wind is howling like a banshee outside and snow is in the forecast again. No walk today so I’m getting my writing in. Lots of coffee is also on the agenda.

I’m planning what this year is going to look like for me. No, I don’t know for sure but I have control over a few ideas. Trying to get a second children’s book out is on the table but I’m not sure yet. I have been collaborating with a publisher, a different one from the last one I used. I’m not happy with them and someone else is willing to work with me. The problem is, I don’t know if I want to go through the stress again. It involves a lot of things and I wanted this year to be quieter. Like nothing much to do at all!

If I give the go ahead, it will mean many things. Working with illustrators, proofreading, book layout, audio version which involves picking out the right voice and so on. Hmm….sounds interesting but I haven’t made up my mind yet.

Working on me is an ongoing project. I made headway last year and saw major improvements to the point that I was called “complicated,” and “arrogant!” Oh well, so be it. I know what I want and I won’t settle for anything less so call me whatever. I learned that I’m a pushover, too nice, too accommodating, willing to bend over backwards to please people and so on. This year, I’m changing some of those negative traits. I want to be stronger, I will stand my ground and will walk away if something is not contributing to my well-being. It will take courage and focus to do that but I come armed and ready to do battle! Well, maybe not battle, just to be steadfast in what I want.

Health is on the agenda as well. This year I’m upping the workouts, looking for more ways to stay healthy, and working on showing the “stress monster” the door is also on the list of things to do. I’m not going to let little things rattle me and I’m going to breathe and let go as much as possible of things that don’t matter. Let’s see if this will work out. I have good intentions and that matters.

Yes, the new year is trying to take off in leaps and bounds, as it usually does.

“Make hay while the sun shines.”

I plan to do exactly that.

Have an amazing day.

A Gorgeous Day!

They’ve been talking about snow and freezing rain for the last couple of days and it never arrived. This morning, however, I noticed that Chachi, the cat was mesmerized as he stood by the window and kept looking back at me.

ME: “TV not working again Chachi?”

HIM: “You’ve got to see this mommy! It is BEAUTIFUL!”

It was. Snow had arrived in the middle of the night and it was a white world out there. The roofs were covered in white and so were the streets. I knew that I needed to bundle up and go out there to salt the sidewalk so that no one will slip and fall. It is tedious work but it’s a must over here and it is expected that you do what is necessary to keep the street safe and clear of any hazards.

After breakfast, I put on my boots, my thick jacket, and headed out with a big bowl filled with salt. The ground beneath felt crunchy and that signaled “ice” mixed with snow. It was dangerous because it is easy to slip and to take a fall. I did my duty and made sure my portion of the sidewalk was nice, clean, and salted.

Then it was time to do my morning walk. The sun was up and about and it looked like it was going to be gorgeous day albeit a little cold because the wind was picking up speed and playing havoc with the trees. I decided that I needed out in the open to clear my mind.

The fields were covered in white and the trees were frosted like straight out of a picture postcard! It was a beautiful sight. Still, it was colder than I expected. Not a single thing, neither man nor beast, was moving out there. I took my usual route watching as I stepped because the rock covered pathway was slippery. Some parts had puddles of water frozen in place and others covered in a mixture of snow and ice.

I gave my mind free rein and watched as it took off, leaving me to walk quietly and deep in thought. I usually think a lot about different things while walking hoping that the open spaces and nature will do its thing and give me some answers. Today, it was no different. I got some solutions and one of them was to break the problems down into smaller and more manageable portions. Solve one problem at a time. I’ve been running with all of them, facing me in all directions until it became overwhelming and hard to manage.

MESSAGE TO SELF: Work on solving things, one problem at a time.

Good. I plan to do just that. The walk was fantastic and the view gorgeous! I came back with a freezing nose but it was exhilarating. I love winter days. Time for a cup of hot coffee and to get moving on with the day.

Have an amazing day.

Taking Care of Yourself

“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first; it means me too.” L.R. Knost

Taking care of yourself should be at the top of your list but it rarely is. We pull ourselves in different directions trying to appease others and we put ourselves where we are barely visible at times. I do. “Me too” is not what I think of when I go about trying to help someone else and often, I forget myself in the process. I forget that I need nurturing too, I need taking care of, and I am important too.

“Remember to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Unknown

Take care of yourself. You can’t be much help to anyone else if all you’re doing is looking to see how you can put yourself out there being the “angel” who is there for the calling, the helping, and one who comes to everyone’s call of distress without thinking about the toll it is taking on your being. I did that three years ago when I came to the aid of a sick friend and I put myself through hell and high water to care for him only to find out that even though it was a good deed, the price you have to pay is a high one as far as your own well-being is concerned. Will I do it again? It is a definite NO!

“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.” Jim Rohn

Taking care of your body is a must. You don’t do it to look good for others, it is a necessity to survive in a world where much is needed from you, and if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else is going to do it for you. Do whatever is necessary to put yourself first, take care of yourself first and the rest can follow.

“Take care of yourself. Go for a walk, eat your favorite food, get a haircut, cry if you need to, read a book, take a vacation, have a drink, do what you need to do. Take care of yourself, because at the end of the day you’re all you’ve got.” Unknown

As the year draws to a close, the one resolution that matters for next year is to take care of myself first. I do that religiously, but sometimes I forget when life rolls around with its demands and I forget about “me” in the process and take off to do whatever is necessary for someone else. A helping spirit is a good one but not when it is to the detriment of your own well-being. I’m going to remember that as I move forward into the new year. It is not being selfish, it is called self-preservation.

“When you start taking care of yourself you start feeling better, you start looking better and you start to attract better. It all starts with you.” Unknown

AND

“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable.” Jane Travis

That last one speaks to the heart of the matter. Removing yourself from the unacceptable can mean many things. Toxic people, things that drain your energy, and people who don’t give two hoots about your well-being. Put them into context, take a long hard look at what you will accept and what you won’t and go from there. Most of all, you MATTER!

Have an amazing day.

The Cheesecake Dilemma! (Archives)

Update: The Cheesecake Fetish is all but out the door! I’ve toned it down to once a week and small bites at a time. No fun? Exactly but I had to do something before the cheesecake monster took a hold of me and took me to places I didn’t want to go! The guy is gone and so is the constant presence of cheesecake in the fridge. So things are looking up and I hope that I’ve got the cheesecake dilemma or rather “fetish” where it belongs!

One of my resolutions for this year is to cut out the “Cheesecake Fetish” altogether! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it is this all-consuming lust for cheesecake!

This particular fetish started last year and since then it has taken on a gigantic personality. I never used to be a person who needed a “fix” of something sweet or of anything else for that matter. Somehow I got on the cheesecake train and have refused to get off.

To make matters worse and as life would have it, I met someone who offered me a slice of the best cheesecake in town and I was hooked. I wasn’t hooked on the guy but on what he had to offer. This love fest took off to new heights when every time he went to play tennis, he would bring me a whole cheesecake from the store close to the tennis club. How convenient? What’s that saying? “The way to someone’s heart is through their stomach.” He basically took it to heart and I had my never-ending supply of cheesecake of the very best kind.

The problem. Ever heard of cheesecake taunting? Neither have I but every time I walked past the refrigerator, I would hear it knocking and calling out my name! It got to the point where I would just open the fridge, stand there in its all-encompassing presence and bathe in its scrumptiousness. I was able to ration it to one slice a day and so it has been until I realized that thoughts of “cheesecake” accompanied me on my walks!

It was time to hit the brakes. Willpower needs to take a stand and show this bad behavior the door! This year I’m going to have one slice per week, no ifs or buts about it. It will be my reward for working on myself. I don’t care how loud it cries from behind the refrigerator door and begs me to take a bite, I WILL turn a deaf ear and sip on mundane coffee to stave off the craving.

Hard is not the word for it, but I’ve got to start somewhere before that “craving” takes over my life! What about the fixer? Well, I’ve put him on notice not before seeing the disbelief go flitting past his face but I’m sure he’ll find new ways of getting through to the heart that has locks, chains and a moat surrounding it! If there’s a will, there’s a way as they say.

It’s time for coffee and I swear I can hear the half- finished cheesecake screaming my name but nope not today. It’s time to put on my shoes and do 30 minutes of HIIT training! Willpower do your thing! Yes, WE CAN do this!

I’ll keep you posted.

Have an amazing day.

2025 in Recap

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“As we look to the new year, hold on to what is Good. Let go of what is bad. It really is that simple.” Mandy Hale

As the year draws to a close, I realize that it has been a year of ups and downs as it has been every year but this year, I had some major ups and some lows. Looking back at the year, I see many things, both good and bad.

I had a major health scare this year. It came as a surprise because I’ve always taken care of myself, eating right, working out, and doing what is necessary to reduce stress but still, it found me. Numerous tests were scheduled, frightening ones with machines that held my future in their hands! It was stressful and waiting for the results to come in was nerve-racking but the end result was that I was fine but I would have to go in next year and have a routine check just to make sure all is well. I can live with that.

The major “high” was the publication of my children’s book, “The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie. I didn’t expect much but I was on a high for weeks on end when it first came out. Good reviews kept coming in and then a bad one, well, I consider it a bad one and I came tumbling back to earth with a thud. Still, it wasn’t all that bad. The book was given high praise by parents, educators and reviewers and it seems to be doing fine. That was and is a major high.

Working on myself was an uphill battle. Some days I did well and others, I was back to square one! It meant that I had to pick myself back up and keep on moving forward. I did learn a lot about myself along the way and I’m going to put it to good use next year. There is still much to do and I plan to keep on doing both the positive and getting rid of the negative stuff to get me on the way up that mountain! Still foggy up there and I don’t see much from here but I know that all will be made clear in time.

I’ve had to say goodbye to things that don’t serve me. It was hard to do because I like holding on to the past and to relationships that are not good for me. It took courage and strength to say, “It is over” and to move on. Friendships were next. Fake ones saw the door and the genuine ones, well, I kept them close. You don’t need many friends, just a few who really mean what they say and are willing to stand by you when times are tough. I found out that there are not many of them but that’s alright.

Another high was that my son got his dream job or rather his forever job. He got the good news shortly before Christmas and I think he’ll start early next year. It’ll be 6 months probation time and then he’ll know if he has it in his pocket but more than that, I hope he enjoys it! As a proud single mom, I see that all those years of being there for him, motivating him, and helping him on his way has paid off. I hope so anyway. It was a hard uphill journey.

That was my year in recap folks. It was an extraordinary year and as it comes to a close, I hope the next one won’t have too many surprises. If it’s good, bring it on. I can do without the other stuff. Anyway, 2026 will be a blank slate and I HOPE only good things will be put on there. Wishful thinking? You guessed right but fingers crossed as I look forward to a brand new year coming up.

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” Oprah Winfrey

Here’s to 2025! May 2026 be even better!

Have an amazing day.

A Proud Mom!

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My son is home for the holidays. I can see that he has lost some weight but that cheeky smile remains the same. The first thing he did when he walked in was to look down at me and to put his hand on my head, not in reverence, but to show me that he was a big guy now! And he is. He is much taller but still the little kid I raised.

There is just this certain something that makes your heart skip a beat or two when you see the child you brought into this world doing well as a young adult. He is doing well. His current job keeps him busy and even though there are times that he “hates” the job, he is learning that working life will have its likes and “hates” but I’m sure he will take it all in stride. He is made of stronger stuff.

A little later in the day, I got a call from him from his Oma’s place that blew my socks off and left me in tears. I couldn’t believe what he was saying and I asked him to repeat it twice.

Him: “Mom, I got the job!”

Me: “The job?”

Him: “Yes, the JOB!”

He had applied for his dream job a year ago. Yes, a year ago. He went for two interviews and made it through both times. Then there was the painstaking process of finding out if he was the right person for the job. I can’t say too much but it is a dream job. This kid had never worked a day in his life! He was spoiled rotten and I thought he was going to have a tough time finding a job but he proved us wrong. Every job he applied for, he got. He seems to be an expert at doing interviews and breezing through them!

Anyway, he has landed his dream job and the person who called him told him that it was his Christmas present! He is on cloud nine and I am so proud of him! I’ve been walking around the house saying, “This is unbelievable!” So far, he has landed the job, the rest will be made clear when the new year arrives. There will be changes coming, a big move and so much more but for now, we are happy.

Can I say it again? I will. This is worth repeating.

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

With tears of joy in my eyes.