quotes – Page 4 – Site Title

Figure It Out

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“You don’t need to have it all figured out to take a step forward.” Unknown

This is the absolute truth. You don’t need to know everything before you take the next step forward but you have to trust in the process to move forward, one step at a time. You’ll get there.

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt.”

“You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.” Unknown

This is where we go wrong I think. We want what we think we deserve but life has other plans for us. Go with what you have, work with what you have and make it the best set of cards for you and you’ll come out the winner. I have to remind myself of this as well the next time I moan and groan at the unfairness of it all!

“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.” Unknown

The stories we tell ourselves can be the road to disaster. It screws us up. How it’s supposed to be and what you do to get there are two different things. It’s not going to fall into your lap, whatever it is that you want, it takes hard work and that is the truth of the matter.

“You don’t have to figure everything out today. You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. And you don’t have to tackle everything at once. You just have to show up and try. You just have to focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. And you have to trust that you’ll figure out the rest along the way.” Daniel Koepke

Nice piece of advice that. Just keep moving, show up and you’ll be on your way.

“My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.” Unknown

Okay this one speaks to yours truly! I can’t for the life of me figure out the plot. Perhaps it is best not to ask but to just trust that I have what it takes to make it and the rest will fall into place. Easier said than done!

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” Michael Jordan

This special piece of advice is what life is about. Giving up is not going to do it and as I often say, bite the bullet and keep on going.

TODAY

figure out what makes you happy and do more of it, figure out what doesn’t, and do – less of it. –

Mandy Hale

YOU WILL FIGURE IT OUT!

Have an amazing day.

The Lighted Candle

The primary symbolism of candles lies in their ability to illuminate darkness. Candles, with their gentle glow, symbolize the search for truth, clarity and inner illumination. I equate quotes as having the same power. If you listen carefully they open doors, lead you forward and they teach without delivering a sermon.

Some of my all-time favorite quotes come from a blogger who is also the creator of the social media movement “The Single Woman.” She has written many “scathing articles and books and don’t forget quotes about her ex-boyfriend and about his pathological emotional abuse and betrayals. The lady speaks to my heart. Here are some of my favorite quotes written by Mandy Hale.

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

“Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person, that you are.”

And if they can’t handle you, it is their problem not yours.

“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.”

This one is scary. Sometimes you want to settle because fear takes over but settling means giving up and you are too important for that. Do not settle for less than you want.

“The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become.”

This one is exhausting. Learning to deal with such people is never easy, add trying to make them see different is like talking to the wall. Let it go and embrace peace.

“You’re actually MORE likely to be single when you have a lot to offer because you’ll realize that most people aren’t worthy of all that greatness.”

I totally agree, well, it is actually a more positive way of looking at it.

“It’s OK to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.”

Fear is my second name but I suppose I have done things to be proud of in spite of it. Brave things? Maybe….

“Confidence is the ability to feel Beautiful without needing someone to tell you.”

Ok this one hit home. I wrote an article yesterday about one of my OFF days and looking like a nightmare in the process. A friend told me later, I can turn all your nightmares into dreams! The problem is I lack confidence so that didn’t do much to get me out of Nightmare land!

Confidence is not:

“They will like me.”

Confidence is:

“I’ll be fine if they don’t.”

“Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed and rearranged to relocate us to the place we’re meant to be.”

Been there, done that, many times over. Still looking for the relocation part.

“A person being “too busy” is a myth. People make time for the things that are really important to them.”

This is the absolute truth. No time means YOU are not important.

“If you lost it, it’s because you’re meant to find something better. Trust, let go and make room for what’s coming.”

Doing exactly that but can someone tell me how long this process will take?

“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over, no matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it….it’s over. It can hurt you no more.”

True but you sure can learn from it and not repeat the same mistakes the next time around.

“You’re beautiful just the way you are. Shine on, and dare anyone to turn off your lights.”

“The only keeper of your happiness is YOU. Stop giving people power to control your smile, your worth and your attitude!”

There you go, perfectly said I might add.

Where are you going today? Are you dealing with negatives or are you heading towards more positive pastures? Let go and move towards the light. Take the candlelight with you and pass it on to someone who really needs it.

Think of one thing you are grateful for. When I first heard this, I had a hard time finding just one little thing. Within a few minutes, I had my basket full! I am grateful for the roof over my head, the warm bed, the beautiful fall day, the food that gave me joy today and the people who are dear to me. Of course, Chachi, the cat is at the top of that list too.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY

Complicated

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I took a walk on Saturday but this time I wasn’t alone. Most days, I like to walk alone but this time around it was a different story. A friend decided to go along but not before we had this conversation.

ME: “You should bring your old, time-worn boots because it will be muddy in places.”

HIM: “I’m not walking in mud!”

ME: “Why not? I walked in mud yesterday and it was wonderful.”

HIM: “Well then, I’ll watch you.”

Complicated? He is, but he doesn’t think so. Or maybe I am.

The walk was great. We walked further than I would do when I’m by myself. The sun was trying to make a showing from behind dark grey clouds but it was a difficult task and a losing battle against the looming clouds. The ground had thawed out from the light snowfall of two days ago and there were some wet patches along the path and I think he did step into one or two mud puddles and if he noticed, he kept it quiet.

Nothing much was moving out there or so it seemed because we were deep in conversation and noise often blocks out what the mind sees when you are alone and your senses are on high alert. We talked about nothing in particular, just life in general. I kept looking for the herons, my new-found passion, but they were nowhere to be seen. We went up and down the hill and then to my surprise a few minutes later there they were, standing silently and pretending not to notice our intrusion into their sacred space. We watched them for a few minutes but they refused to move so we walked on and left them alone. It was a beautiful walk and sometimes having a friend there makes all the difference.

Later that evening, I received a text message from the same friend with this quote attached to it. It was by Jane Austen and it went like this:

“The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much!”

He captioned it: “This fits you well. Somewhat of a compliment.”

Did he just call me complicated? If he did, he is not far from the truth. I’ve heard that label being placed on me many times before but it doesn’t faze me. I’ll wear it gladly. It’s nice to know that women back then had the same problem of trying NOT to fall for the wrong guy although the main theme in Sense and Sensibility is “the danger of excessive sensibility.” It could be the case with me but I am not settling, not just yet. Most of us want to find ‘love’ but falling in love takes more than just a chance meeting. However, I do agree that a man needs to be given a chance before I shut the door on him.

“I am made of little rooms full of thoughts, emotions and memories. You cannot define me by listening to me once. I’m too complex.” Unknown

Why wouldn’t I be complicated? I love spending time out in nature, traipsing around in mud, talking to wild life versus preferring human company and if that is not enough, Chachi, the cat, comes in picking up the slack when it is needed! I go by the motto, why give the milk for free or get the cow for free, something like that but you get the drift. Anyway more specifically, why invest in a cow when you can get the milk for free, dumb maybe BUT it holds some truth to it. If that makes me complicated, I AM.

“Sometimes I think maybe I’m just too complicated for anyone to love.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Paulo Coelho

Coelho’s philosophy emphasizes, “the search for meaning in life. He encourages individuals to explore their passions, discover their true selves and align their actions with their inner values and beliefs.”

His quotes are profound and we kept crossing paths recently. Some made me sit up and take notice and others kept swirling around in my head. They do make you think and that is a good thing about good quotes. Here are some of his more important quotes. Read, enjoy and let them take root.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

I know this one really well. Fear is my constant companion and often it stops me in my tracks and keeps me from moving forward but I am learning.

“Things do not always happen the way I would have wanted and it’s best that I get used to that.”

“You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.”

We know this one well, don’t we? How often have we fallen only to remain there and let life pass us by? More times than I can count on my fingers but I’m learning to move forward, one step at a time.

“Life has a way of testing a persons will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once.”

Yup, when it rains it pours but there is an end to the storm at some point and that is the good news.

“On your journey to your dream, be ready to face oasis and deserts. In both cases, don’t stop.”

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change.”

If that’s the case, I should have won a gold medal by now!

“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”

What if that new hello is as bad as the one you left behind? Just asking.

“Close some doors today, not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they lead you nowhere.”

This one is worth noting.

“The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”

Hmm….like my walk in the fields?

“Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.”

So true.

“Friendship is not about whom you know the longest. It is about who came and never left.”

I am still learning that not all friends are really friends.

“The secret of life is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”

This is my mantra because it basically means, NEVER GIVE UP!

Have an amazing day.

False Friends

Fake friends are, “people who pretend to care about you but don’t actually have your best interests at heart. Also known as false friends or fair-weather friends, they tend to act like friends only when it benefits them.” http://www.verywellmind.com

I’m sure you’ve had one or two of these characters as so called friends and perhaps you still do. They’re opportunistic, insincere, and are only interested in what they can gain from the relationship and couldn’t care one iota less about you. When it comes to “showing up” in times of need, they are nowhere to be found.

Here’s how to identify fake friends:

They show little or no interest in you, your life and your problems. It is all about them.

They’ll approach you when they need your help but are invisible when you need theirs.

Their support is based on conditions, only when it benefits them.

They bring negative vibes into your life because they are in a negative place themselves.

They are jealous and they try to compete with you rather than be happy for you.

They break your trust by talking behind your back.

Spending time with them often drains your energy and leaves you feeling like there is something missing.

That’s because there is. A true friend is someone who helps you up when you’re down but you can forget about this concept with “false friends.”

Here are some quotes that help to bring the message home.

“Everybody isn’t your friend. Just because they hang around you and laugh with you doesn’t mean they are your friend. People pretend well. At the end of the day, real situations expose fake people, so pay attention.” Unknown

“Fake friends are like actors, they play their part until the curtain falls.” Unknown

“Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. They pretend to be your friend first.” Steve Irwin

“Fake friends stab you and pretend they are the ones bleeding.” Unknown

“Stop texting first and see how many dead plants you’ve been watering.” Unknown

I love this one and it does speak to the heart of the matter.

“A two-faced friend is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, hiding their true intentions behind a mask of friendship.” Unknown

“An open enemy is often a better thing to have than a false friend.” Unknown

“Sometimes the person you are willing to take the bullet for is the one who pulls the trigger.” Unknown

Choose your friends carefully and if one of these wolves in sheep’s clothing show up proclaiming friendship, you know what to do.

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” Walter Winchell

AND

“Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.” Paulo Coelho

Have an amazing day.

The “Me” Concept

Who am I? Sounds simple enough but this is a hard one to answer. It encompasses all of you, the big picture so to speak. Who you are, what you stand for, what shaped you and the experiences that have made you, the “YOU” of today are all part and parcel of this concept. Understanding yourself is vital to how you interact with the world around you. There is only one YOU, and your identity is unique, It is made up of your values, your beliefs, your relationships and your experiences and that in a nutshell is who you are as a person.

However, interacting with the world around you is not always an easy thing to do. It is much bigger than you are and sometimes downright scary. Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter and might even help with where you are in the grand scheme of things as far as your world is concerned.

“Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” Unknown

One step at a time if you want to get somewhere and looking at that whole journey might just be a tad too overwhelming to say the least. Do it slowly and carefully and you’ll get there when the time is right.

“Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” Unknown

Absolutely worth taking a note of. How often do we hang around people who make us feel less than we are? It is time to clean house and start afresh with people worthy of your company.

“The problem isn’t that your friends aren’t showing up for you…

The problem is that you’re still calling them friends.” Unknown

“You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Choose carefully” Unknown

How true? Choose your friends carefully and the rest will fall into place.

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story,

LEAVE.” Mo Willems

If something is not working and it becomes a struggle, change your strategy. You are not stuck where you are, there is always a way out to start anew.

“She wanted something else, something different, something more, passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.” Nicholas Sparks

There you have it. Stop being the option and start being the priority. Stop choosing people who do not choose you.

Understand this….

“You can sound confident and have anxiety. You can look healthy but feel like shit. You can look happy and be miserable inside. You can be good looking and feel ugly. So be kind, because every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown

Just be kind.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

This actually speaks to the whole concept of who you are. What you do eventually becomes your character. Choose wisely and do the right thing.

“Learn to be done with people, not mad, not bothered but just done.” Unknown

This is hard for someone like me. It takes a lot to say I am done but I am learning. Sometimes it is a matter of survival the choices you make. Choose wisely.

“In the end, she became more than what she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going.” Unknown

This last one is poignant. I am on a journey of self-discovery and self-development and in so doing I am learning to give up what does not serve me, to change directions and to move towards what does. Not always easy I know but this is where self-awareness and self-worth comes in to guide you and to make it just a little less scarier than it is.

Have an amazing day.

Mandy Hale Quotes

Mandy Hale is a blogger turned New York Times bestselling author and speaker. She is also the creator of the Social Media movement, “The Single Woman.” Mandy has made a name for herself by empowering women with her quotes that speak to the heart of the matter. However, the self-help relationship guru remarried her toxic/narcissist ex who broke her heart many times over. She has written many books and articles about the emotional abuse and betrayals she suffered in that relationship. So WHY go back to him? Nobody knows for sure but ‘love’ does work in mysterious ways and sometimes to the detriment of ‘SELF’ and all that matters! It doesn’t change the power her quotes have to change your mindset. Here are some of them to get your day started.

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake to help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”

“Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.”

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens.”

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

“Sometimes you have to move on without certain people. If they’re meant to be in your life, they’ll catch up.”

“You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Shine on, and dare anyone to turn off your lights.”

“Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is BRAVE, even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.”

“Just be yourself. Let people see the real imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are.”

“Learn to be alone and to like it. There is nothing more freeing and empowering than learning to like your own company.”

My favorite:

You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity, and leap before you look. (This is a hard one for me.) Dance as though everybody is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.

YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

Have an amazing day!

ALL THAT BAGGAGE

A soft reminder:

“not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry.” Unknown

I’m talking about emotional baggage, the kind that has gathered so much dust but we still carry them around like an albatross around our necks. Everyone has them but some find it easy to let go and to move on. Others lug it around because they love going back there for whatever the reason and than there are those who use it as a “get out of jail free card.” They whip it out as a talking point as to why they are stuck where they’re at and can’t see their way forward.

Most or all of the “emotional baggage” belongs in the past but unresolved issues, anger, sadness, grief or just plain, “I love living in the past” attitude puts it front and center and makes it very much a part of the present.

“Leave your baggage where it belongs. In the past. It has no place in your future.” Unknown

Things happen and oftentimes we have no control over it. It could be a break up or a painful event such as losing a loved one or even situations which cause anger, confusion and absolute disbelief. They happened and there is no changing the outcome but by carrying that baggage around like a well-worn trophy, it is not going to change what took place in the past. It happened and there is no going back. You can only move forwards.

“We all have baggage but there comes a time when you realize it’s time to UNPACK.” Unknown

Here are some examples of emotional baggage:

I’ll never be good enough.

I don’t deserve good things.

Everyone will leave me.

I am angry.

I will never forgive.

I can’t escape my past.

Nobody cares about me!

I hate my life!

I can’t move forward.

I failed.

This is as good as it gets.

Recognize any of them? I DO.

“Emotional baggage refers to “unfinished emotional issues, stressors, pain, and difficulties we’ve experienced that continue to take up space in our minds and affect our present relationships.” http://www.verywellmind.com

The truth is:

“Emotional baggage is heavy, and it’s way too expensive to keep dragging along to all the places that life wants to take you.” Unknown

No, it is not easy to get rid of emotional baggage because we keep filling it up every chance we get. It gets so full sometimes that I can’t zip it up for all the useless stuff that I fill it up with, mostly things that have happened and it is still there for all the reasons I have stated above. It’s time to refocus and discard what no longer serves you.

If you want to get rid of the ‘useless’ you need to do some work. According to http://www.griefworkcenter.com, “Identify what you have actually lost and grieve that which is gone, focus on your strengths that empower you; explore the tasks you need to complete to let go of the overwhelming feelings, and focus on how you have experienced growth because of what happened.”

I can hear one friend saying, “I CAN’T! It seems like only yesterday.” To that friend I say, “The truth is, it’s been more than 10 years. LET IT GO.” You don’t need that “get out of jail free card,” anymore, you have places to go.

AND

“Misery might love company but so does joy, and joy throws much better parties.” Billy Joey