self-improvement – Page 3

Limiting Beliefs (Archives)

“The only limits that exist are the ones in your own mind.” Unknown

A limiting belief is defined as,”a state of mind or belief about yourself that restricts you in some way. And these beliefs are often false accusations you make about yourself that can cause many negative results. Essentially, they are the lies you tell yourself, and if you allow them to continue, they define you.” http://www.linkedin.com

We all have them and we use them to define who we are as a person and what we are capable of achieving. Most of these beliefs carry negative connotations and they are designed to keep us from moving ahead in life. Here are some of them.

I am not good enough! This one is very familiar at least to yours truly. Quite often, I use this as my mantra to keep me in my rabbit hole. I venture out to take a peek and then I rush back into the hole where I am most comfortable. If I could, I would stay there forever but than again even rabbits come out to play from time to time and to observe life as it passes by. Partake or not, that is up to you. What does, “I’m not good enough,” really mean? It is a mindset that is well-ingrained into your psyche and once it has taken hold, it is next to impossible to get rid off. Perhaps changing the negative to the positive might help. I AM GOOD ENOUGH! Say those words often enough and it might just give that not so friendly sod, a heave and a ho and send it packing.

“Limiting Beliefs have one goal…..to keep you from leaving your Comfort Cave so you can’t grow and reach your greatest potential.” Unknown

I don’t have enough time…..this is another crippling lie and it is not true. If you look at the amount of time we waste propped up in front of the TV or sitting hunched over our lap top doing nothing much except to let these two gadgets dictate how we spend our time and nothing more. Truth is, you and I know that we have the time to do better things. We just need to do less of one and more of the things that contribute to our lives and crush those limiting beliefs that keep us from achieving our goals.

The next lie is one that loves to keep you in your place. If only I was taller, prettier, skinnier…..the list goes on and you get the drift. This one is designed to shrink you to 1/2 or a 1/4 of the size you actually are. Each time you repeat and accept this mantra in your head, you see this short, fat and ugly person staring back at you. It is not the reality but one you’ve chosen to accept as your reality. You, no matter what your size, height, weight or looks have just as much to offer this world than the other person. Pat yourself on the back and go conquer the world! I heard a saying once that goes like this. “Walk in like God sent you!”A good one to hold close to your chest and to pull out at those moments when you feel lacking or feeling smaller than you actually are.

Limiting beliefs need constant work. They are not easy to overcome but with time, effort and a conscious effort to defeat them, you’ll find yourself on the other side of the fence, the side that is more positive and forgiving but if nothing helps than perhaps this will.

“Do the uncomfortable. Become comfortable with these acts. Prove to yourself that your limiting beliefs die a quick death if you will simply do what you feel uncomfortable doing.” Darren Rowse

Have an amazing day!

Change (Archives)

A Series on Getting Back on Track

“Your new life is going to cost you your old one.

It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction.

It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. It’s going to cost you being liked, and understood. But it doesn’t matter. Because the people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. And you’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward.

And instead of liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of understood, you’re going to be seen. All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are. Let it go.” Brianna West

Change is never-ending. It is scary but it brings you one step closer to who or what you want to be. It moves you out of your comfort zone and at times it will feel like you are being thrown into the deep end of the pool, sink or swim is your choice. I hope you swim.

Looking back at my life and the things that have held me back, I realize much of it was tied in with stupidity and emotions I could have done without. I could have learned the lessons in a shorter period of time instead of dragging it on but I didn’t.

This thing called love could have been easier on me. I could have made it easier but I wasn’t strong enough. I was in a vulnerable state and it seemed to attract the wrong types because vulnerability is often an invitation which says, “Here I am, come break me!” I should have walked when I saw that it was a foregone conclusion and my holding on would not change the outcome. It never did. I will do better I promise myself. I will let go when I see the truth staring me in the face and walk away with my dignity intact and with my heart back where it belongs. I will let go before it drags me down to where I often find myself, right down at ground zero but the changes took a long time coming.

I am stronger today than I was yesterday. My heart still speaks the language of love but it no longer speaks stupid. This journey I am on has changed me. The weak or vulnerable one has been replaced with someone who is confident, capable and someone who knows who she is and what she wants out of life. Something inside me screams, “I am woman, hear me roar!” Scary? Well, if you’re the type of man I am accustomed to, then you should be. I am looking to be loved but with eyes open this time. Working on myself is a mindful and daily affair and when I finally step out of my comfort zone, the journey will be complete but change is a lifelong journey and it will be a never-ending one. I can handle it I tell myself because I am no longer who I used to be.

“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.” Abraham Maslow

AND

“Change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Roy T. Bennett

Have an amazing day.

Change

I was talking to someone this morning and I asked the question, “What if there comes a time when you can’t do one or the other?” I was referring to his love of traveling and diving. The answer back was alarming to say the least. He said, “I would be dead!”

“Change….A simple word with a difficult meaning.” Unknown

The “difficult” part is not being able to adapt to change. Whatever that change entails. I can’t stand change for the most part. It means I would have to get out of my comfort zone and that scares the hell out of me. It also means going within and doing battle to accept the changes coming my way which is what change usually means. Adapting is never easy but life as we all know it is a never-ending series of changes. Staying put is never an option.

Charles Darwin said it well:

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

Does change have the potential to kill you? It may feel like that at the beginning because letting go of something you’ve become accustomed to is HARD. However, saying no is not an option either. Look at it this way.

“Life is like underwear, change is good.” Unknown

You can change and you can adapt and that is the truth of the matter. We are all pre-programmed to do just that. Going back in time, I had to adapt to so many of life’s happenings and after the usual, I CAN’T, I gave up and let life take the lead and I went along for the ride. Some things turned out almost perfectly and others, well, let’s just say it wasn’t the outcome I expected. All in all, I had no choice or rather the choices were limited. Move or get run over was the message.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates

Adaptation, it seems is a key crucial element to change. The more you fight it, the harder it will be. There are no remotes available so that you can press a button and get instant gratification. In order for life to happen and for change to take place, you have to get up and change it yourself. Scary? Definitely.

Opray Winfrey said:

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.”

That simple huh? No, not that simple but there is truth in that saying. So change your attitude, grab the reins of your life and make change happen. There’s a whole wide world of possibilities waiting out there and one of them has your name on it. You can only have it if you adapt. Nothing more, nothing less.

Have an amazing day.

Trust the Journey

Mental Note:

Trust your journey.

No matter how many detours we take or delays we encounter, we will always be led back to where we’re meant to be.” Nicole Spindler

Beautifully said but trusting the journey you’re on is hard and accepting that everything will turn out for the best is harder still. Humans want control of the situation or at least I do. I don’t like the idea of some unseen force manipulating the outcome and that is a frightening concept for me. However, if truth be told, perhaps there is no other way. You’ve heard the saying, if it is meant to be, it will be and what if we just let go and let it unfold as it was meant to be. A doable thing? Speaking from my standpoint, that is next to impossible for me.

“Don’t let what happens or what doesn’t happen bother you. Life has a way of rearranging perfectly so that what you truly need can come together.” Unknown

If I step aside that is. My problem is that I want to know what is coming up or what life has in store for me before it comes up. I spend a lot of time overthinking the negatives even before it has happened but that is human nature I suppose. Much of my time is wasted on projections that never take place and if and when it happens I am fully capable of handling the outcome.

Trusting the journey I am on demands that I accept what comes my way. “Be quiet” whispers the all-knowing power of the unknown, the universe or God in his wisdom or whatever you believe in. It says, “Let me work this out for you, I’ve got this and you need to trust in the journey. You’ll be fine.” The untrusting part within screams, “I’m afraid! What if I fail or I fall flat on my face or there is no getting up from this?” That too is human nature.

“Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly, “You got this, keep going.” Unknown

Perhaps, trusting the journey is not about rushing, not pushing and shoving and not about stomping your feet and demanding but that it is more about accepting that everything is being worked out behind the scenes and you just need to sit back and accept and know that the outcome will be exactly as it was meant to be. It doesn’t mean you have to stop working on yourself, putting effort out on what needs to be done and making your way through life, it means knowing that there is a higher force who is on your side. Not so simple? I know, it isn’t for me either. What if there is a higher power working on your behalf and it has got your back? Wonderful don’t you think? Now, I just need to trust in that concept. Good luck you say? I know but it’s worth a try.

“Trust the process, trust your journey. You are going TO BE OKAY.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

The Five W’s of Life

Photo by Natasha Fernandez on Pexels.com

There are many lessons to learn during our lifetime but according to overstu.com, the five W’s of Life helps to navigate us through the intricacies of this long and winding road if we learn the answers to the five question words. They are who, what, when, where and why. Learn them, find the answers and practice them to make the most of your life.

“WHO you are is what makes you special. Do not change for anyone.”

The message here is that you are special and unique and you do not have to change to fit anyone’s idea of what normal is. Just remember, you have something to offer this world just as you are. The people who are meant to be in your life will accept you flaws and all. No changes needed or perhaps just a little tweaking needed. Always remember YOU are enough.

“WHAT lies ahead will always be a mystery. Do not be afraid to explore.”

This is a hard one. We want that crystal ball to show us what lies ahead because the future is murky and because of our need to know before taking that step forward. Guess what? Whether you want to or not, there is no stopping the future and you will just have to deal with it when it comes around. You can’t change the future but you can make it better by living in the here and now and putting your best effort forward to make it a good one. Of course, fear not the future is the message but it is easier said than done.

“WHEN life pushes you over, you push back.”

I don’t like this one. It means you’ll have to be brave to deal with whatever comes your way. You can certainly choose to give up but that’s not an option and if you want to survive what life throws your way, you’ll have to toughen up, put your big girl panties on and deal with it. Failure is one such experience. Not trying another and it often brings about missed opportunities and staying within your comfort zone another bad decision. Try and try harder. If you fail the first time around so what, try again. The message here is to NEVER GIVE UP!

WHERE there are choices to make, make the ones you won’t regret.

This one is self-explanatory. Make the right choices and life will be so much better but how many of us do that? We love the wrong people, we make the wrong choices in food, health and a whole host of other things. Human nature I suppose BUT if we are lucky enough we can still learn to make the right choices to get ourselves back on track again. Not always possible but here again, never give up and keep on trying.

WHY things happen will never be certain. Take it in and move forward.

This is a big one. How often have we asked why? Why did the relationship break up? Why did a loved one have to die? Why did this happen to me? All legit questions and we want answers where there is none to be had. You’ll have to trust that nothing happens by chance and some how at a later point in time the answers will be revealed to you. You’ve heard the phrase, “Yours is not to ask the reason why?” Well, hard to do, really hard but trusting everything happens for a reason might be a step in the right direction and not losing hope your stronghold.

Five questions to ask and to pay attention to the answers coming back. Step forward equipped with WHO you are, WHERE you are going, WHAT your life is about, WHY things happen and WHEN you do, maybe the secret of life will be revealed to you. Not holding my breath but it’s worth a try.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Becoming Your Best Self

I don’t think I am obsessed with becoming my best self but I would like to get halfway there at least. Learning to achieve that goal is not easy because it takes practice and a driven mindset to get there. I am still learning and keeping at it and who knows one day I might say, I did it!

Becoming your best self is not an overnight process and neither does it happen by pressing a button. It doesn’t happen accidentally, it doesn’t happen by chance and it doesn’t happen by waving a magic wand either. It takes action on your part and a commitment to self-discovery and self-development.

“To be your best self you’ll need to first discover who you really are, then maximize your strengths and improve on your weaknesses. You need to completely shift your mindset and take control of your life. When you do, you’ll discover a whole new you.” http://www.tonyrobbins.com

This journey is a hard one. You’ll encounter the good and bad moments, some will be messy and progress will be slow but if you persist and set goals you can achieve anything. Becoming your best self means opening yourself up to challenges, accepting the setbacks and living life to the fullest.

“Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.” Matthew McConaughey

According to notesbythalia.com, you need to practice wellness daily because it goes hand-in-hand with working towards your best self.

Get at least 7 hours of sleep daily. Move your body as much as you can. Eat well. Build healthy habits. Dedicate time to self-care.

You can’t lay in bed and manifest your dreams. It takes action to succeed. Ask yourself, what is success to you? Set value-driven goals and become “razor-clear on what your future vision looks like.” Align your daily habits with who you want to be and the life you want to live. “Boost your overall health, well-being and productivity,” meaning even your smallest daily actions will determine your future self.

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” Paulo Coelho

In a nutshell, becoming your best self requires going within to discover the greatness there. It requires strength to bring it to the fore AND it requires courage and hard work to make it shine.

“You are what you believe yourself to be.” Paulo Coelho

Change that mindset from one of negativity to positivity and watch your life take off!

But before you do that:

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, INCLUDING YOU.” Anne Lamont

Then go out and:

BE YOUR VERY BEST SELF!

Have an amazing day.

Self-Talk

It matters how you talk to yourself. The more negatives you can come up with, the deeper down the rabbit hole you go. Positive self-talk is a must if you want a better mindset according to the experts and they do know what they’re talking about. How you see yourself and how you talk to yourself reflects the way you perceive the world around you.

I woke up this morning and immediately started berating myself for all the things I could have done better yesterday. I told myself I could have handled the situation better but didn’t so it was time to beat myself down. Talking down to yourself is a norm for most people and it only helps to create more negativity as it reflects back on who you are not. Let’s change that mindset. Here are some quotes to help you get there.

“Watch what you tell yourself, you’re likely to believe it.” Russ Kyle

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” Brene Brown

“The way you choose to think and speak about yourself (to yourself and others),

IS A CHOICE!

You may have spent your whole life talking about yourself in a negative way, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue that path.” Miya Yamanouchi

“Self-talk is the most powerful form of communication because it either empowers you or it defeats you.” Unknown

“Everything you tell yourself matters. It will either lift you up or tear you down. It’s your voice and your choice.” Unknown

“When it’s hardest, remind yourself of these things: I am okay, even if it hurts so bad. I am strong, even if I don’t feel like it. I am doing my best, and that is more than enough.” Nicole Marie B

“Turn off any self-talk that tells you that you are destined to live a small life. YOU’RE NOT.”

In order to get to positive self-talk, there are a few things you need to give up. Stop the negative self-talk in your head. Stop doubting yourself because you are fully capable of achieving whatever you want to. Get rid of the fear of failure and if you fail so what, get up and do it again until you succeed. Lastly, but perhaps just as important, stop people pleasing. You don’t have to kowtow to anyone. Be your own person and that is enough. What they think of you is none of your business.

“It’s not what we say out loud that really determines our lives. It’s what we whisper to ourselves that has the most power.”

If all else fails, do this instead:

“Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and SHUT UP!” Ann Bradford

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Positivity

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This is a hard one because “positivity” is almost a foreign word in our vocabulary. The thing that comes to mind first and foremost are all the negatives we can drum up but looking for the positive is really hard to do.

How often do we get up in the mornings and the first thing that occupies our mind is all the stuff that went wrong yesterday and the outcome of that negativity facing us today. It could have been something small, something inconsequential but to us it is now a monster problem that is going to take up most of today if we let it. We love playing it over and over, adding to it and blowing it up into something unmanageable. Truth be told, all it takes is changing that negative mindset into a positive one and to say, “I CAN DO THIS!” Show up with a positive attitude and let the day takes its course. Not that simple but the other alternative is the one that is going to take you down the rabbit hole and keep you there and you don’t want that.

Here are a few positive quotes to get you on the way. Read, embrace and put them into practice.

“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond.

That’s where your power is.” Unknown

“Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity.” Unknown

“What’s on your mind becomes what’s in your life, so think the thoughts you want to see.” BoomSumo.com

“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.” Ed Cole

This is a really good one. Most times we stand still and wallow in our misery. Moving is the key here.

“Tough times don’t last. Tough people do.” Unknown

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” Willie Nelson

“Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means that even on hard days you know that there are better ones coming.” Unknown

“Stay positive! The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.” Unknown

That is the absolute unvarnished truth!

“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.” Brene Brown

And this is often the hardest to do.

“Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s okay to have a melt down. Just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.” Unknown

Remember my “All That Baggage” post? Been there, done that and moving on!

I love this one below.

“Just for the record darling, not all positive change feels positive in the beginning.” S. C. Laurie

Ever been in a situation that seemed totally negative at first but turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to you? I’ve lived through many of those moments, cried my heart out but in the end it turned out for the best. Be brave enough to embrace the challenges and let it show you the way. Life knows what it is doing even if you don’t.

TODAY I WILL:

Stay positive

Learn & Grow

Worry Less

Say Kind Words

Laugh More

Choose Love

Believe in Myself

AND

LET GO OF NEGATIVITY

You’re on the way!

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

Limiting Beliefs

“The only limits that exist are the ones in your own mind.” Unknown

I am not good enough! This one is very familiar at least to yours truly. Quite often, I use this as my mantra to keep me in my rabbit hole. I venture out to take a peek and then I rush back into the hole where I am most comfortable. If I could, I would stay there forever but than again even rabbits come out to play from time to time and to observe life as it passes by. Partake or not, that is up to you. What does, “I’m not good enough,” really mean? It is a mindset that is well-ingrained into your psyche and once it has taken hold, it is next to impossible to get rid off. Perhaps changing the negative to the positive might help. I AM GOOD ENOUGH! Say that often enough and it might just give that not so friendly sod, a heave and a ho and send it packing.

“Limiting Beliefs have one goal…..to keep you from leaving your Comfort Cave so you can’t grow and reach your greatest potential.” Unknown

I don’t have enough time…..this is another crippling lie and it is not true. If you look at the amount of time we waste propped up in front of the TV or sitting hunched over our lap top doing nothing much except to let these two gadgets dictate how we spend our time and nothing more. Truth is, you and I know that we have the time to do better things. We just need to do less of one and more of the things that contribute to our lives and crush those limiting beliefs that keep us from achieving our goals.

The next lie is one that loves to keep you in your place. If only I was taller, prettier, skinnier…..the list goes on and you get the drift. This one is designed to shrink you to 1/2 or a 1/4 of the size you actually are. Each time you repeat and accept this mantra in your head, you see this short, fat and ugly person staring back at you. It is not the reality but one you’ve chosen to accept as your reality. You, no matter what your size, height, weight or looks have just as much to offer this world than the other person. Pat yourself on the back and go conquer the world! I heard a saying once that goes like this. “Walk in like God sent you!”A good one to hold close to your chest and to pull out at those moments when you feel lacking or feeling smaller than you actually are.

Limiting beliefs need constant work. They are not easy to overcome but with time, effort and a conscious effort to defeat them, you’ll find yourself on the other side of the fence, the one that is more positive and forgiving but if nothing helps than perhaps this will.

“Do the uncomfortable. Become comfortable with these acts. Prove to yourself that your limiting beliefs die a quick death if you will simply do what you feel uncomfortable doing.” Darren Rowse

Mistakes

“You can pickup a mistake and carry it as a burden, or you can set it down and use it as a stepping stone to greatness.” Unknown

It has been said that a mistake is usually “an action, decision, or judgement that produces an unwanted or unintentional results.” Quite often than not, the unintentional results can be painful, it makes us doubt ourselves and our judgement of others. It also means that the outcome did not meet our expectations. Therefore, it was time wasted or more appropriately it was an investment that did not put forth what it was meant to do.

There are different kinds of mistakes. It can be related to cheating on a partner, allowing people to push you around, dating or marrying the wrong person, refusing to listen to good advice or quite simply a frivolous disregard to what is staring you in the face. It’s there as plain as day, it is clear that it’s a mistake to carry on and yet because of the time and energy spent in chasing that dream, whatever it maybe for you, we refuse to call it quits and move on. We refuse to accept it as a lesson learned or as a stepping stone to something better.

“A mistake that keeps being repeated is not a mistake, it’s a choice.” Unknown

Just like it is in Groundhog’s Day, we see a “series of unwelcome or tedious events appear to be recurring in exactly the same way,” and this is not only boring and irritating but it’s time to get off that emotional roller coaster and head for greener pastures. The choices we make are hard at times. I know that quite often I am stuck on redial. I know that I should hang up and start anew but the human side or rather the foolish side wants to hang on for just a while longer knowing full well that I should count it as a lost cause, sunken cost as they say in business, take the lesson learned with me and make the decision to not do it ever again. Sunk costs basically means “that costs have been incurred by past actions and they cannot be recovered and they are not relevant to our future decisions,” and yet we choose to repeat it over and over again. I am human, I say, but that is putting it mildly!

Perhaps, it would be easier if we can forget the mistakes but remember the lessons we’ve learned from our walks into the big wide world of MISTAKES LAND and believe me it is a jungle out there. We’ve all made them, we’ll continue to make them and more likely than not we’ll rush in with our eyes wide open BUT it is the picking up, dusting off and the moving on bit that matters here. Here’s to mistakes both big and small. Bring them on!

“When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it, and don’t repeat it.” Paul Bear Bryant

From your lips to God’s ears!