October 2024 – Page 3

RELAX

“You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner…so relax, breathe, and be patient.” Mandy Hale

These days ‘relax’ is a word that seems foreign to me. Once, a long time ago, it was the easiest thing to do. I could close my eyes anywhere and go to Nirvana Land at the drop of a coin but not anymore.

What changed? Life did. A divorce, the death of a close friend and life’s curveballs all had me standing at the brink and pulling myself back from staring into the abyss was hard to do but I did.

“At any given moment you have the power to say this is not how the story is going to end.” Unknown

I realized that I had the power within me to change what I didn’t like. Pulling myself back up and to keep going was even harder but I had no choice, it had to be done. I started by putting a 17 year marriage where it belonged. It was done and I had to move forward. I had to learn that ‘LOVE’ can and does end and I had no say in the matter. I couldn’t decide for the other person so I worked on the person I knew best. I went deep inside myself and then I heard the whisper and it said, “RELAX.” There was power there that much I knew. I took the steps to go back to what was always home to me. My inner self and to get there I had to learn to relax again. It was not easy, nothing ever is. The first few tries were a disaster. A few minutes was all I could do. It was frustrating but I learned to just breathe. Just simple in and out breathing, nothing fancy. The technique took very little time but I could feel it vibrating within me. I was coming alive again.

“If you don’t like where you are, change it. You’re not a tree.” Unknown

However, life wasn’t done with me yet. There were more lessons to be learned and it would not only test my resolve to do better but it would take me back to square one again. Eight years after my divorce, I would lose someone very dear to me and once again, it felt like the rug was being pulled out from under me. Goodbyes are hard but ‘forever’ goodbyes even more so. The peace I had felt within had disintegrated and now it lay scattered around my feet. I wanted what I couldn’t have but he was gone and I had to go it alone. Nothing I did and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get myself to relax again. It felt like I was climbing walls where there was none to be found. I was back on that cliff and staring into a fog covered distance. Then I heard the whisper and it said, “RELAX. You’ll be fine.”

“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step.” Unknown

I took those small steps because there was no other way. My plan of action was to keep taking those small steps until they turned to bigger steps and I could feel myself flying again. It took time, it took looking back at things I didn’t want to look at, it took discarding what no longer served me and most of all, it took courage to move ahead. I learned to relax. Breathing, meditating, walks, enjoying nature, working out, treating myself and learning to like myself all became a daily routine. I talked myself into loving me and to learn that I AM ENOUGH AS I AM. No, I’m not flying yet but I hope one day I will. I’m still taking those steps to move forward and learning to leave the past behind me. Relaxation is still hard but those few minutes a day have turned into more than 40 minutes a day. I am making progress.

“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand…relax! If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” Osho

Breathe in, breathe out, RELAX.

Have An Amazing Day

Men vs. Women

It’s another rainy day and the wind is picking up speed and like the wolf in the Three Little Pigs, it is threatening to huff, puff and blow the house in! Well, not that strong but my imagination is on overdrive today. What’s that got to do with the topic at hand you ask? Nothing except the rainy day has got me thinking again so I went looking to see how we do things differently because we do. I found plenty to write about but decided to keep it light, airy and funny to boot. Enjoy.

“One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says, “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.”

“Men say they don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die, well I don’t trust anything with 2 heads and only 1 brain!”

“A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet women is usually mad.”

“Menstruation

Menopause

Mental breakdowns

Notice how all women’s problem begin with men.”

“When a woman says, “WHATT,” it’s not because she didn’t hear you, she’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

When a man says, “WHAT?” it’s not because he didn’t hear you. He is giving himself some time to think what to answer when he is screwed!”

“Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you.“

“YOU STILL LOOK twenty one from a distance.“

I loved this one. Was he still standing after this one?

“During labor, the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a fever.“

Woman:

“I told you I’ll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour.“

“Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.“

Top 7 things men do to upset women:

Lie

Be Honest

Not Talk

Talk too much

Not show emotions

Be too emotional

Breathe

That’s like damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:

MAN

Conquers nations

Frees slaves

Invents penicillin

Builds great structures

Discovers America

Fights terrorists

Lands on the moon

Dies in battle to save another soldier

What a man? What a man? What a mighty good man huh?

Woman

Gives birth to all men

The last one for good measure.

“I’m honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.”

Hmm…on the other hand, just about anywhere is fair game for men I would say.

What If….

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I’m not sure how or why I got into this “what if” mood. Perhaps it’s because it’s been raining all day and I had nothing better to do. I was coming up with hypothetical situations and really enjoying them until I decided to see what other people had to say. Seems like lots of people have the same preoccupation with the “what if” scenarios. I found some good ones. Enjoy.

“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.” Woody Allen

Nutrition labels should include an, “What if I ate the whole thing” section. Unknown

I totally agree, I have a cheesecake fetish and I try not to but what if….

“What if common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.” Unknown

“What if you are in hell and you’re mad at someone where do you tell them to go.” Unknown

“What if there was no Google? Good question….I’ll have to Google it.” Unknown

That’s my worst case scenario! They call me the Google Queen!

“So what if you fail? At least you’ll know what not to do when you try again.” Venus Williams

I like this one. Try and try again is my motto too.

“What if instead of focusing on what you don’t have, you concentrate on what you’ve got?” Jodi Picoult

Not that easy I say.

“Ask yourself: If I can’t avoid it, change it, or make it go away, what if I changed my response to it? What if I decided to stop letting it bother me?” Al Siebert

“What if someone gave a war and Nobody came?” Allen Ginsberg

That would be Trump’s worst nightmare!

“What if I’m a Princess on another planet? And no one on this planet knows it.” Candace Bushnell

Probably why they never treat me like a princess here!

“What if God exists except it turns out he doesn’t really like people very much?” Douglas Coupland

We’d be in trouble!

“But what if music is what escapes when a heart breaks?” Unknown

Hmm….I’ve heard that music once or twice.

“The end justifies the means. But what if there never is an end? All we have is means.” Ursula K. Le Guin

Oops! Houston we have a problem!

“What if I slept a little more and forgot about all this nonsense.” Franz Kafka

“I’d say you’ve made a perfect end to the “what if” saga!

This and That

Woke up this morning with my cat, Chachi, next to me. He had made himself comfortable next to my head and was purring softly as he heard the movement that signaled, it was time to get up. The purring notched up a few decibels as he moved closer to me. It was a sound I loved, not too soft and not too loud, just a perfect soothing all-around droning that seemed to calm my just awakening mind, body and soul.

It was Sunday and time to relax but my mind was on the ‘go’ mode and there was no stopping it. I laid there under the warm covers and my mind immediately moved to the conversation I had last night. The person was trying to give me feedback on one of my articles. More specifically, the one called, “Change Your Strategy.” He said, “well-written, true but hard to do.” I agree whole-heartedly with him. Change is never easy and putting in steps to change what always is the norm is definitely “hard.” No one said it was going to be easy but it needs to be done in order to change something that is not working to something that could change your life for the better. He understood that perfectly but for the change mindset to work, it has to be put in motion and that is the hard part. Most of us think of changing but it never takes off.

See what I mean? My mind was up and running even before my body decides to move a muscle! Nothing new there, most days it (my mind) takes control and I go along for the ride!

After several tries from an impatient Chachi to get me out of bed, he took off to the kitchen and I followed slowly, very slowly. I got the water going for coffee, gave my little sweetheart a kiss on the forehead which earned me another slew of purrs and love-struck eyes. Peering out into the darkness, I could see that fall had definitely taken hold. It looked dark and gloomy but each time I turned away to get a cup or to get breakfast going, I noticed that it got a shade lighter as if by magic. Not all once but slowly as if someone was using a brush to paint in the lightness painstakingly with each stroke and before I knew it and within a short span of time, it was so much lighter that I could see the silhouette of the houses across the street and a still dark but pearl grey sky peering back at me. Just like life I thought. It happens when you’re not looking.

Making my way back up the stairs with breakfast on a tray, I realized that my knee was feeling better. I had injured it a few days ago, not sure how but there was no doubt in my mind that I had done something to it. I work out seven days a week and often forget that I am no longer a spring chicken. I still jump, kick and do 60 minute workouts to the detriment of my joints. Most days I can keep up with the best of those in the thirties BUT now and than my body reminds me to back off as it did a few days ago. Human nature is such that we refuse to accept the inevitable until life in its wisdom decides to show us why it is a necessity to do so. Staying off my feet is not easy, I am raring to go and to kick butt as far as workouts are concerned but today I am planning a light, very light workout that will give my injured knee some well-earned rest. Not for long though, I am planning a long walk tomorrow. Like I said, human nature has its quirks, pair it with stupidity and you know why we face the difficulties we do.

Breakfast was done and my mind was doing its monkey dance again. I tend to live in my headspace so that jumping from one topic to the next is easy to do. However, that quiet, private, contemplative mood or frame of mind or even hectic and chaotic is ok once in a while but when it takes over 24/7, it’s time to shut it down.

My day is just starting. Nature had done its magic outside, it is bright and beautiful with the added promise of a beautiful day ahead. It’s time for ‘mommy and Chachi’ day to take off. He loves playing chase but that’s an absolute no no for today. I hope he’ll settle for loads of kisses and cuddles. I’m sure he will, he’s easy that way. It doesn’t take much to make him happy unlike ‘humans’ who make it complicated. Not taking off on an another topic although….

Suddenly my phone goes ping and there is this message from a friend and it says, “I had a restless night, had too many thoughts in my head.” Instantly I wanted to jump right in with Max Goodwin’s words from New Amsterdam, “How can I help?” Nope, not doing it today, maybe later, much later but it’s time for that monkey I call my mind to take a well-deserved break.

Have an amazing Sunday.

LOVE

It is elusive, it doesn’t always show up and when it does, it may not stay forever. That is a given but still we seek it, we want the feeling that says all is well, we are loved and protected AND we want it to paint our world in colors of the rainbow or whatever color love brings. It doesn’t matter if it looks and feels like cubic zirconia, the shine is all that matters for a while anyways. The problem is, we seek this elusive commodity like a heat seeking missile but a warm willing body is not enough, it needs substance to keep it going and that’s where the iffiness, the wishy-washiness and dead as a doornail comes in.

Have you ever fallen in love with the wrong person? I’ll guarantee that all of us have at one time or another. I’ve taken that journey many times over. Each time, I tell myself I’ll do better the next time around and each time I watch the worthless relationship go up in flames. I’m like a gardener who had planted seeds and one who is waiting to see what the outcome would be. The hope is that all the care, energy and time would yield a bumper crop but no matter how hard I tried, that plant showed up poorly and died along the way. It got brown and shriveled and no amount of trying to revive it brought signs of life back into it. Yet, I held on because of the invested time, love and energy that had gone into it and I wanted some kind of return when there was none to be had.

It was time to let it go. Put it down to wasted energy, pull it out by the roots and make room for something new to grow. Something which is more conducive and is willing to grow under your care. Bad love like bad seeds are just that, there is no rescuing what doesn’t want to be rescued. Let it go.

Love is defined as, “a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust.” verywellmind.com

If some of those behavior traits are missing and keeps on coming up missing, then you need to step back, reevaluate and weigh the consequences of such a relationship. Do not make an unworthy person a priority in your life and toxic relationships are just that, the poison starts slowly but it spreads quickly. Examples of toxic behavior are cheating and carrying on other relationships while in an ongoing relationship and pretending it is a covert operation. The liars and control freaks need to take a hike and those who show no respect for the person they’re with are a waste of time and space. Add to that the ones who can look you in the eye and swear that nothing is going on when you know otherwise should be shown the door quickly. No time should be wasted on them. If you’ve got one of this cubic zirconia type on your hands, remember life is too short for hoping and wishing, remember you’re a diamond so you have no time and energy to be wasted on fakes. Make room for someone who is willing to thrive in your garden and put yesterday’s mistakes behind you.

“Something I just recently learned was that chased love is not love. If you have to run after it, talk it into staying, remind it of your value, fight alone for the both of you, issue ultimatums, or test it, it is not love. It’s not love, it’s not happiness, it is not fair, it’s not healthy, the only thing it is…..is a waste of time.” Jessica James

I heard someone put it this way as well but not in exactly these words. Why do you have a junk car parked on your property when you’ve got a Ferrari circling your property? Have the wreck towed away and make room for the new, something better at best. Even if there isn’t anyone new on the horizon right now, give it time. In the meantime work on being a worthy person, worthy of love and one who deserves the best as far as love is concerned. Anything less is an absolute no-go!

“Some people will only come into your life to teach you what love is not. And when that happens, I hope you know when to walk away.” F. E. Marie

Change Your Strategy

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“Failure is hard. But turn those failures into learning experiences, so that you’ll look back and be happy that you failed, because you gained more knowledge from that experience. Sometimes, it’s simply an indication to change your strategy instead of giving up completely.” Albert Rogers

“Change your strategy” is often used in the business world to place emphasis on a module that is not working so it’s time to regroup and refocus your energy into bringing in new options to make whatever is not working into a workable one. This concept works in real-life as well. If something doesn’t work, change it. Seems like a great idea at first glance but hard to put into action if you love the ‘plan’ you’ve put into action and and are dead set against changing it. If you’re someone who doesn’t like change like yours truly here, it is a concept that is hard to comprehend let alone to work with.

“Waiting for something outside you to change before you change is a broken strategy. Fix it by deciding to be someone different and do something different. Transformation happens from the inside out if you take action.” Unknown

Taking that into account, it seems like the most sensible way to go about changing failure into a success story. The problem is you must want to. It’s not going to work any other way. Pinpoint the problem, refocus your energy, find ways to take a failure and change it into a winning solution and put it into action. If you think you’re doing everything right and you still don’t understand why you’re failing then it’s time to really look at what you’re doing and find a different way of doing it. There’s more than one way to skin a cat as the euphemism goes and no matter how offensive that might be, being a cat lover myself, it just means there are other ways of doing something. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Be open to change and change your strategy. However, there are times when you can do everything possible until you’re blue in the face and still the same old failure concept comes knocking at your door and if that’s the case, do not despair. You’ll get there, just keep trying.

Learn to roll with the punches, keep getting back up when life knocks you down and never ever give up.

“When you face failures, don’t change your goal, change your strategy.” Vivek Bindra

I’ve experienced life in all its wonderful and not so wonderful facets and the one that I hate or hated the most was change. My motto was, “Why fix something if it ain’t broke.” The actual thought behind that was, “I like where I’m at, good or bad and change is for the birds!” It took years of resistance, falling down, refusing to get back up and digging my heels in AND screaming, “Leave me alone!” to realize that change is an integral part of life. It teaches us in a not so nice way that it’s needed, falling makes you gain experience and you learn that YOU are not God. So move along, embrace change before it’s too late. I learned it the hard way and I still bristle when I see ‘change’ coming around but these days I’m ready to embrace it, learn what it has to offer and to accept it for what it is. A lesson learned because it has to be learned.

“Failure is nothing more than a chance to revise your strategy.” Unknown

Oops! I’ve got to run. I see ‘change’ approaching wearing a smile on its face and with bells clanging and I’m not in the mood for it today. Just kidding.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Reality vs. Make-Believe

According to CNN, “Trump’s lying is most exceptional in its relentlessness, a never-ending avalanche of wrongness that can bury even the most devoted fact-checkers.” They went on to add, “He has found his hits, and he’ll keep playing them no matter how many times they are debunked.”

There seems to be no end to the lies and misinformation coming from the man who wants to be the next President of these United States. Does he care? Not one iota! Furthermore, if you thought Orange Jesus was full of hot air, you’re not wrong there either.

Here are some of his most recent lies coming from his hyped-up imaginary world. These are just some examples of why the man should never set foot in the White House again.

“Americans can’t venture out to buy a loaf of bread without getting shot, mugged or raped.”

“Immigrants are eating cats and dogs.”

“World War III is around the corner.”

“The world is a dark place under the Biden-Harris administration.”

“The insurrectionists were peaceful people.”

Let’s add his obsession about crowd size to the lies above and you know why his imagination knows no bounds where he is concerned. He boasted that at his January 6th speech, the one where he instigated his supporters to storm the Capitol, was much bigger than at Martin Luther King’s iconic, “I Have a Dream,” speech in 1963.

His other obsession seems to be with his private parts. “Look at my hands, are they small hands?” he once asked. Then he added, “I guarantee you there’s no problem.” Hmm….Let’s ask Stormy Daniels, the lady in the know. This is what she had to say. She describes it as, “smaller than average,” but “not freakishly small.” Another myth debunked!

The problem is Trump lets his imagination take him to places where it should not go, basically to no man’s land. His false claims, lies and misinformation is fooling no one but he keeps them coming and each time a new one is debunked, more crop up as if on cue.

Personal attacks and hitting below the belt is another one of his favorite past times. The man can come up with some doozies at the drop of a coin and if you have so much as an ounce of intelligence, you know that none of it is the truth but coming from the mouth of a future wannabe president it is astounding not to mention frightening. If only he would spend all that wasted energy on something that makes more sense like a well thought-out plan but no chance there because he has none, none that makes sense anyway!

His recent attack on Kamala Harris, his arch rival is mind-blowing. He called her, “mentally impaired” and that she should be impeached and prosecuted. At a rally in Pennsylvania, he said, “Sad. But lying Kamala Harris was born that way.” Excuse me? What way?

“There’s something wrong with Kamala. And I just don’t know what it is but there is definitely something missing.”

Hmm…maybe it’s your stupidity that’s missing. Furthermore, her slate is clean while yours definitely is not. Just your legal problems alone are enough to sink your boat! According to Trump, the smart and intelligent lady is, “stupid,” “dumb as a rock” and add to that not sure if she’s Indian or Black and you’ve got the whole gamut of his argument as to why she should not be the next President of the United States.

Now, if you look at Trump’s false claims, lies, misinformation and legal problems, you know exactly why Orange Jesus should not have his finger on the nuclear button ever again, let alone run the country!

One flew over the cuckoo’s nest? Orange Jesus is an outstanding example if nothing else.

Rejections

“Rejection is when we seek out a connection and the object of that connection turns us down. All people experience forms of rejection throughout their lives, whether they are turned down for a job they wanted, turned down for a date, or experience a friend or romantic partner ending their relationship.” http://www.verywellmind.com

It can be a no for a job interview, no when asked out on a date or no to a relationship, however, it is not a one rejection fits all kind of thing. There are different circumstances but they have one thing in common, they all have a negative connotation and that is the connection that binds each and every rejection. It is painful and it quite often affects your self-esteem and chips away at your self-confidence depending on the type of rejection and how cruel or mean the rejection was.

“Rejection is a common occurence. Learning that early and often will help you build up the tolerance and resistance to keep going and keep trying.” Kevin Feice

Not being picked for a job might seem traumatic and it may cause emotional or physical distress. Social rejections are just as upsetting. Getting turned down on a date or a sudden breakup could cause turmoil or upheaval in a person’s life. Or if someone doesn’t want to be your friend, that can be especially painful.

“REJECTION doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer.” Unknown

How do you deal with rejections? Perhaps by remembering:

“Every no brings you closer to a yes.” Unknown

If that doesn’t work, here are some tips from the people in the know. According to verywellmind.com, healthy ways of dealing with rejection is to let go of blame. Learn from it and approach it with a positive mindset and say it will be better the next time around and there is always a next time. Feel your emotions and don’t bottle them up. If you need to let it out, LET IT OUT!

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill

There are unhealthy ways of dealing with it as well and we all know what those are, don’t we?

Taking a rejection personally and beating ourselves down with it is one way not to do it. Comparing ourselves to others is definitely not the way to go. Downplaying your feelings is not a good option but the most important point is to NEVER GIVE UP!

Rejections take all forms but learning to deal with them without letting it gnaw at your soul takes practice, patience and a positive mindset. Sure, you can’t just brush it off like water off a duck’s back because it has a tendency to go deeper but learning the right methods to deal with it means you are armed and ready to conquer anything even something as nasty as a rejection or two. And if someone rejects you, the quote below brought a smile to my face, hope it does to yours.

“Don’t feel BAD if someone REJECTS you, PEOPLE usually reject EXPENSIVE things because they can’t AFFORD THEM.”

One way of looking at it!

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!