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Letting Go vs. Letting Go

There are two kinds of letting go, perhaps there are more ways of doing that but I’m going to talk about two kinds here that make letting go more than a nightmare.. The kind that is of a temporary nature and then there is the more permanent kind. In the temporary kind, you have every intention of letting go but when you do, it is only a matter of time before you go back to the same person. It doesn’t matter how bad the person has treated you, how you were almost invisible in their eyes, how they never had any time for you and you were never the priority but still, you hope and wish that things could have been different. Here’s the problem, it never changes because what they’ve shown you is what you get, nothing more, nothing less. Instead of showing them the door, you keep it slightly ajar just in case they decide to walk back in and do the drumroll all over again and you bow to their every wish.

“It sucks when you know that you need to let go, but you can’t because you’re still waiting for the impossible to happen.” Unknown

The other “letting go” kind is doing it permanently. You realize that the person you were seeing or dating has a lot of the qualities above and you see them for what they are. Maybe it is narcissism, maybe it is selfishness, maybe it is a lack of integrity or character and maybe they are just too full of themselves and think they are IT and everything revolves around them. It’s time to cut the cord because the relationship is not going anywhere and you also realize that you deserve better than what is being handed to you on a worn-out platter. It’s time to do a major change and to take out the trash.

“Letting go does not mean you stop caring, it means you stop trying to force others to.” Mandy Hale

There are many lessons to learn in life and one of them is, you can’t force someone to change. You can only change yourself and take control of who you are, what you deserve and who you want to be with.

“The hardest part about letting go is finally realizing that there wasn’t much left to hold on to.” Unknown

The problem with letting go and why it doesn’t work at times is because we keep looking back at a non-existent relationship and we romanticize it to the point that the guy comes out looking like Prince Charming when in actuality he is a toad or a turd! We come in with the “if only” scenarios hoping and wishing it could be different. Changing someone’s character is next to impossible, it might work for a while but then the real person shows up again and it is only a matter of time before that happens. If he is a cheater, you can bet your bottom dollar that he’ll do it again. If he is a narcissist, he’s a lost cause and if he’s someone who shows no empathy or compassion, well, that is not going to change either because it is built into their DNA. Pay careful attention to what they show you because you’re looking at the truth right there.

“If he’s stupid enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him.” Unknown

That is good advice because if he wants to go, let him go. Don’t keep wondering who he is with, what they are doing together and what he is up to. If you do, it makes letting go a very hard or almost impossible thing to do.

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” Oprah Winfrey

Take Ms. Winfrey’s advice, the lady knows what she is talking about. Stay in the moment and give him enough rope to hang himself but YOU keep moving forward. Rest assured that whoever he is with or whatever he is doing is not far from what he was doing with you because people never change and they don’t change overnight and start smelling like a rose either. It is not for you to wonder why, just know that perhaps it was for the best.

LET GO & JUST LET IT BE.

Have an amazing day.

Chachi

I’ve written about the little furball many many times here and I know I’ve waxed lyrical about him but he is worth waxing lyrical over. He makes me laugh, he makes me happy and at times, he brings a tear of joy to my eye.

The little guy has his ways but he is one smart cookie! He learns quickly and knows how NOT to act like a typical cat when he is interacting with his mommy. His nails are well-sheathed when he runs his paws through my hair to wake me, it is soft and smooth and done very lovingly. When I give him a cleaning, it is met with no protest. He sits there quietly trusting that his mom would not hurt him whatever she does. I can clip his nails, give him a wash cloth bath and even clean his eyes and ears with no problems at all. Once a week, he gets his teeth cleaned with a tiny glove that goes over his pearly whites and he takes it like a champ. When all is said and done, he rubs up against my arm or shoulder, gives me this all loved up look and takes care of his own needs. It could be a drink of water, some food or just while his time away in his window seat.

The thing he does that brings a tear of joy to my eyes is this newly found way of showing affection. Kisses done the cat’s way is a thing of the past. He used to brush his nose against mine and then go all the way up and plant a kiss on my forehead. These days that has changed. Now, he comes straight for my lips, looks into my eyes and then stops just short, perhaps a millimeter away and moves away. Guys, it’s the closest to getting a “kiss” from little macho but I know that it is his way of saying, “I love you.” It definitely brings a tear of joy to my eye!

Daily writing prompt

What brings a tear of joy to your eye?

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LOL!

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?”

Johnny: “Seven Sir.”

Teacher: “No listen carefully, if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?”

Johnny: “Seven!”

Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?”

Johnny: “Six”

Teacher: “Good, now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have?”

Johnny: “Seven!!”

Very Angry Teacher: “Where the heck are you getting 7 from?!!”

Very Angry Johnny: “Because I have one at home sir!!”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well-known Chinese sex therapist, Dr. Chang. So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, “Ok take off all your crose.” The woman did as she was told.

“Now get down and craw, reery, reery, reery, fass to odder side of room.” Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, “OK, now craw reery, reery, fass back to me.” So she did

Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, “Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease……worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.”

Worried the woman asked anxiously, “Oh my God, Dr. Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease?”

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied…..Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your a**!”

What a doctor huh?!!

Blogging

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When I first started posting here, I didn’t think of it as blogging. I was away from the public eye or so I thought and at the time I had next to no viewers, readers or “likes” for that matter. It was alright with me because everything was low-key and I could write about whatever I wanted to.

It was fun, it was a way to get my frustrations out and at times my anger out as well and a way to clear the path forward. I had taken a fall and I was trying to find my way out of that rabbit hole and what better way to do this than to get it all out there, the good, the bad, and the ugly! I was literally putting myself out there, lock, stock and barrel.

Then those “likes” started rolling in and I realized that people liked what I was writing about and some were in the same boat as I was and it was a way for us to grow and get better together. However, it got a little uncomfortable because at times I felt like I was on full display with my hurts, wounds, and feelings out there for all to see. The other aspect was that there were many out there who had walked the same path I had walked and were looking for ways to get a grasp on life again. I continued and now I do get more likes than I used to, the site is “booming” as I was told earlier this week and it is doing fine.

It is not about the “likes,” it is about life from my perspective and what I have done to get myself back on track and back on the journey of life and if my story has helped someone than my writing or blogging has been well-worth the effort.

Daily writing prompt

Why do you blog?

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The Interview

I decided to interview Chachi, the cat. He’s quite a character and probably has LOTS to say about his life as an indoor cat and mommy’s sweetheart and buddy.

ME: “Are you ready for the interview?”

HIM: “I sure am. Shoot!”

ME: “Tell me about your life. What could be better?”

HIM: “That’s a big question and you probably don’t want to know. Here goes….I love my life and I love my mommy but I need a companion. One of my kind.”

ME: “You mean a friend to play with?”

HIM: “Nope. Someone I can BOSS around.”

ME: “You boss me around, isn’t that enough?”

HIM: “Yeah, but you’re not that easy to boss around. I need someone who will sit quietly and agree to everything I say.”

ME: “You mean you want to be a dictator?”

HIM: “If that’s what they call them, then yes. I have no power in this house and I need POWER!“

He stands up, runs his paw over his face and turns his big expressive eyes on me. It’s a gaze that’s unwavering and it tells me he knows what he is doing.

ME: “Power like in what you do to those stuffed birds?”

His stuffed birds are a mess. Some have their stuffing halfway out and some have parts missing! Like I’ve said before, the little guy has this passive-aggressive thing going.

HIM: “Sort of. My mommy is nice but she’s weird at times. She lets me have my way but sometimes it comes to a screeching halt and I better behave or else! This is not being BOSS but a slave. Cats were not made to be slaves. The Pharaohs viewed us with deep respect and they believed that we were divine beings. Their admiration for us was so great that they dressed us in jewelry and mummified us upon death. Furthermore, anyone who harmed us were severely punished. They considered us to be magical creatures.”

ME: “Hmm….you sure are one smart kitty. I guess that’s why your other name is Einstein?”

HIM: “You got that right!

He gives me this side-eyed look and sprawls on his back all the time looking at me.

ME: “How can I make your life better?”

HIM: “Easy, agree to everything I want and you’ve got it made!”

Time to end the interview. Little Macho was back on his horse and it was time to show him who is really the BOSS.

ME: “Go play Chachi. I’ve got things to do.”

HIM: “I knew it! You never listen, that is your problem amongst other things! “

That was the end of an uneventful interview. The little brat is sitting in his window seat and contemplating, Mutiny on the Bounty! Oh well, some days are better than others and I have no intention of making him the BOSS!

Daily writing prompt

Interview someone — a friend, another blogger, your mother, the mailman — and write a post based on their responses.

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Calm and Ready?

It is hard to describe what I am feeling right now. A mix between calm, unrest and ready to tackle anything. If that makes sense.

There is an inner peace within which comes from having done my daily walk in nature. The cool breeze and grey cloudy skies helped to get me there. It wasn’t a calm day because rain is in the forecast and the weather is doing its dance between wind and the expectation of rain. It definitely suits the mood I am in now.

I am at peace and I am calm but something within, just beneath the surface is doing something else. There is a certain uneasiness and I guess it stamps from the unknown. The unknown is a scary place especially if it could go the wrong way and that is my situation right now.

Trust and believe that all will be well is what I tell myself but that inner place where calm exists has to come to the forefront and stay there for a while. Whatever I am doing right now helps but just for a short time and the voice within, the one that speaks to me in a loud voice wants to get rid of the calmness because that is what it does best. I tell it to take its place where it belongs but it isn’t listening very well for some reason.

There are three things I am grappling with right now and that is the unknown, distress and unrest. It is a mixture of feelings that are topsy turvy at times and at times where it needs to be. However, I know it will right itself out because it always does, one way or another.

Daily writing prompt

How are you feeling right now?

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Book is Published!

Update: It seems that writing the story is not the hardest part, it is getting it out there. What’s happening? Not much I think but there is work being done in the background that I am not aware of. The eBook will take a couple of months before it shows up because there is a backlog and it takes time according to the publisher. For now, the book is just another title in Amazon’s massive children’s book category. I do see that booksellers have “one in stock” signs but not sure if that is a strategy to move the book or it is being bought. I’m telling myself be patient and it will work itself out if it was meant to be. You know how you want things to MOVE, that’s where I’m at right now!

I see it online but I can’t believe it yet! Anyway, it is on Amazon and other online booksellers but I don’t think you can order it yet. According to publisher, it is going to take a week or two to right itself out.

“The Excellent Adventures of Honey & Hubie.”

In the meantime, they are working on stocking the book. All I can tell you is that the cover looks good, it is very colorful, and stands out enough to catch a child’s eye. The characters look inviting enough for a child to want to read it and I don’t think they will be disappointed once they do. However, I am my own worst critic so I think, it could have been better! That’s coming out of a perfectionist’s mouth!

I hope it does well, fingers and toes crossed!

I AM LEARNING (Archives)

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I am learning that each new day is a reminder to do better.

I am learning that I am fully capable of dealing with everything life throws my way.

I am learning that I need to practice gratefulness and to be thankful for all that I have.

I am learning to accept me as I am and to make changes if some of those things don’t work to my greater good.

I am learning to let go of things that don’t serve me and I am making room for those that do.

I am learning that I can’t change people, I can only change myself.

I am learning that life is a journey full of ups and downs and nothing stays the same forever.

I am learning that there is no such thing as forever, just the here and now.

I am learning that love is fleeting at its best and at its worst, it has the potential to turn your world upside down and inside out. Tread carefully.

I am learning that cheaters never change. They are repeat offenders. Integrity is just another word to them. A relationship with such an individual is like throwing pearls at pigs.

I am learning that today is a blessing, a gift and I have it in my power to make it an amazing day.

I am learning that life is ever-changing. It is a learning curve and mistakes are made to show us a new way of handling things and to learn and to grow from them. Perhaps that is what life is all about.

“But most of all, I am slowly learning how to just be in this moment. How to exist. How to understand that I cannot control life, that I can only experience it in both its light and its dark stages. I am slowly learning how to laugh and cry and feel through it all, how to welcome the confusion and the joy that come with loving and living and breaking. I am slowly learning how to accept where I am”

“I am slowly learning how to simply believe in the person I am becoming.” Unknown

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

Meditation

The habit of doing my meditation practice two or three times a day has helped to calm my mind and to give me a new perspective on life. When chaos reigns, I go within.

A walking meditation helps. I may be doing the physical act of moving but my mind is doing something else. I zone out and let nature do its thing. When at home, I find a quiet place, it is usually in my bedroom where I sit comfortably on the bed and close my eyes only to find that there is another realm I can escape to. I start out by calming my mind and body. A couple of deep breaths does the job well. Then I go within, at first it is dark and that’s ok. Other times, I have a lot of junk that needs to be cleared out. This takes a few minutes to reel the mind back. Then peace walks in and we sit together for a while, sometimes 15 minutes and sometimes half an hour.

Meditation helps me to focus better, to throw out what is not necessary and more importantly what doesn’t serve me but most of all, it brings a certain serenity to my being and I find that if done on a daily basis, it can make you a stronger and more balanced individual. It definitely helps to improve my quality of life.

Daily writing prompt

What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?

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The Man to Watch!

Gavin C. Newsom is doing a marvelous job of getting under Trump’s skin and living rent-free in his head! Furthermore, he has found a way to hit where it hits hard. Taking down a bully is not always easy and one who has sole authority to initiate a nuclear attack is even more so.

His latest tweet speaks to the heart of the matter:

WOW!! PRESIDENT TRUMP SAYS ABOUT ME, GAVIN C. NEWSOM: “HE’S A NICE GUY, LOOKS GOOD.”

THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS, LITTLE HANDS. EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE TALKING ABOUT ME (AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR!). – GCN

All caps, exclamations and incomplete sentences, trademarks of you know who. Aside from that, the message is clear, you get as good as you give!

Keep it up America’s favorite governor. Sometimes it takes know-how and thinking to take down a bully and he is doing an expert job of doing just that. On the other hand, the “bad boy” wants to play it nice it seems. That tweet says a lot but as the saying goes, “too little, too late,” perhaps? Gavin C. Newsom is not letting up and that is a good thing.