health – Page 2 – Site Title

A Blur!

Yesterday was a blur! The test went fine but spending almost 5 hours at the hospital and having this radioactive stuff shot into me and then doing three rounds with the machine to find out if there was anything wrong took the wind out of my sails!

I think it wasn’t just yesterday that brought about the exhaustion, it was the week leading up to it. Emotions were running wild and not knowing made it all the more nerve-racking. I had all kinds of “what if” scenarios running through my head and none of them good.

I crashed last night at around 8 and didn’t get up till 5 this morning. Still feeling tired but more than that, it is the radioactive stuff coursing through my veins that is causing problems, just psychological ones. I googled on how to get rid of it and was told, drink plenty of water to flush it out of your system. It takes about 24 to 48 hours before it is out and gone for good. I hope! The other thing is to keep away from pregnant women and small children. No problems there but Chachi was not too happy last night. I tried not to hug him, kiss him or to cuddle with him and the little bugger didn’t understand it at all.

This morning, I stripped the bedcovers and threw them in the wash. Then I took a shower and used scrub to get whatever is oozing out of my pores a run for the money! After that, I took a walk in nature. There was nothing going on there. The trees were a bright green with no show of changing anytime soon. Fall is taking its time getting here but it will be here sooner than later. However, I realized that nothing much had changed since I set foot on the fields which was about three days ago.

Here’s the thing. Life moves on, nature does the same and what you’ve got going on is your business alone. I recall when I was grieving for the friend I lost, nature and life went on and didn’t stand still not even for a moment. The burden was mine to carry alone and how I dealt with things even more so. I think the message is, YOU have to deal with whatever comes your way. It is all up to you and with that in mind, I feel like I’ve been given a new lease on life and I better put it to good use. I plan to.

The sun is just coming up and it is casting shadows and light as it weaves its way through the fields. A beautiful sight to see and I know that today is going to be a beautiful day.

Have an amazing day folks.

ALL CLEAR!

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

It caused some sleepless nights and the “it” was a test that could have changed my life as I knew it. I was up and down and all over the place with my feelings as well as with my emotions. The unknown was scary and I was looking in an abyss and the answers coming back depended on a machine, a cold and inanimate thing that had the power to throw a curveball, worse than life could.

I prepared like I was being led to the slaughter. The night had been short and I got up at 5 a.m. wanting to crawl back into bed! There was no getting out of it. It was time to meet my nemesis and to tell it to go to hell! I knew it wouldn’t make difference to it one way or another. The machine was there to do a job and as my friend put it, “It’s there to save lives.”

The test was scheduled for 8 a.m. and I appeared punctually with friend in tow. He was calm and quiet as we walked in. It took off like a storm after that. I was prepped, my tiny vein shot up with some radioactive stuff with the technician telling me, “It’s the same stuff as last time but with an additional isotope this time.” Gawd! I asked, “Any side effects?” She said it shouldn’t cause any problems.

Then I had to wait for that stuff to invade my body, it took all of 15 minutes. The friend kept whispering, “You’ll be fine.” He’s a good guy. However, my mind was on a horror trip! Scenarios kept playing like on speed dial and none of the good variety. The doctor, a really nice lady, showed up and I tried my sweet talk tactic. No go, the test needed to be done for “OUR” peace of mind she said. Within minutes, I was led into this room and I saw my nemesis! Cold, white and looming like some monster! I took my place on the bed, was made comfortable and closed my eyes. She said, “Five minutes. You’ll be fine.” I thought, “I can do five minutes, no problem.” The machine droned and came to life. I went into my nirvana zone and before I knew it, it was DONE!

“Not so quick!” she said, “You get a 15 minute break and back on the bed again.”

ME: “WHY?”

SHE: “We do another round, this time 30 minutes.”

I gulped but she had a no-nonsense way about her. And the machine was grinning and doing a victory dance! After 15 minutes, I was back in. This time, she said, “Five minutes first and then the machine will automatically do rounds all over!” Unbelievable! I gritted my teeth and said, “I’m not sure if I can stay put that long.”

SHE: “Well, we will be taking thousands of pictures so try to stay still and DON’T MOVE!”

Hmm…..I got through that round. Then she says, “You get 15 minutes break and back in here again.”

I was ready for anything by now. I just wanted out of that place and if I had to play dead for another 30 minutes, I was going to do it. And I did.

Then the doctor comes back in, closes the door and I think, “This is bad news.”

She is soft-spoken and says, “Looks like an all clear. I didn’t see anything that is of concern BUT we still have the blood test results that should come in a week. I don’t think there is anything to worry about.”

Instead of letting out a sigh of relief, my mind jumps to my Google research and how one doctor said that this particular test is never right. I thank her and left that hospital in a hurry before they changed their mind.

I muttered, “I don’t care! I’m done for now. I’m going home but before that I’m getting my cheesecake and then time for a shower and a cheesecake fest!”

I’m not supposed to touch Chachi, the cat, for 24 hours so when I walked in the door, he goes, “Well, you left me alone for five hours and not even a kiss?!! You are getting weirder by the minute!”

I didn’t answer. Jumped in the shower and then in my PJs, the coffee is brewing and the cheesecake is standing ready. What a day but things worked out for the best.

Have an amazing day.

The Test!

I was doing fine until the hospital called in the afternoon and wanted to move the test to earlier in the morning, like really early on September 4th!

ME: “WHY?!!”

THEY: “It is going to take a couple of hours so it’s better to do it earlier in the morning.”

Oh Gawd! Peace flew out the window and I’ve been climbing walls ever since. I’ve done the bedroom walls and the office area as well and nothing is helping! Chachi, the cat, has been eyeing me with a look that says, “I told you she’s weird!”

My plan was to show up there in the afternoon thinking they might be tired and I could sweet talk the doctor into letting me out of taking the test. I wanted to move it a year down the road. This early morning BS just threw a wrench in my plans. Anyway, I’ve been Googling and I have all the reasons written down as to why I DON’T need this test. Mount Sinai Hospital says that my levels are in the normal range. Another hospital says that the levels could be higher due to some supplements and the best part is one doctor says that the test they are planning to do will not be accurate. Whatever they say, it will be wrong! I sort of like this last guy. Exactly my thoughts!

Then I googled what the test is all about. Yes, I’ve been busy. They will shoot some radioactive stuff in your veins. Wait 15 minutes and you go under this big machine. It takes pictures. Just awful for a hypochondriac and a person who has a slight case of claustrophobia. If that’s not enough, you have to wait for another 90 minutes or so and you go under the machine again and it takes more pictures!

I told a friend and he said, “STOP GOOGLING!“

Anyway, it is going to be a sleepless night because my mind is racing and doing somersaults and I am wide awake! No amount of meditation is helping and I am P I S S E D! A friend will be accompanying me, the Chilean guy, he’s perfect because he is cool as a cucumber in moments of stress and the complete opposite of me. It will be a tough day for him having to put up with me.

I will have my fingers, toes, eyes and everything else crossed! Wish me luck folks because this is a big one.

Goodnight and don’t let the bedbugs bite!

Favorite Time of Day?

Any time of day can be a favorite time if things work out right and all is going well. However, my favorite time of day is when I am feeling calm, collected, mind free of worries and with Chachi, the cat, by my side. Add a day with beautiful blue skies, a light breeze and not too hot and you’ve got my favorite kind of day.

Ok, let’s see. I love mornings when I am up early and the world is still asleep. Listening to the birds in the trees and the constant cooing of pigeons on the rooftops is soothing and my mind is at rest. Any time my mind is at rest is a good thing so mornings do that. Chachi’s purring is an additional bonus to that feeling of contentment.

Afternoons are a time when sometimes it is hectic and sometimes I am halfway through things. It is not a peaceful feeling. I don’t take naps in the afternoons as most people around here do because if I do I wake up feeling groggy and not rested at all. I usually spend the afternoons writing, cleaning or doing whatever mundane stuff that needs to be done or needs taken care off.

Evenings, I love at times. Sometimes it is calming as the day comes to an end. Sitting outside and watching dusk approach is a nice thing to do and listening to the day settling down is another beautiful thing. This is also the time when I do my meditation practice and sometimes my breathing routine. Calming down and clearing my mind is of the utmost importance before going to bed for a goodnight’s rest. Evenings are all about bringing the day to a close with intention and preparing myself for the rest that is to come. Sometimes it is my favorite time of day as well.

It changes from time to time and it all depends on what I have going on. Days without chaos, hustle and bustle and a constant churning of the mind on how to fix things, take care of things and bring things back to normal are not my favorite times. Take them out and you’ve got my favorite time of day!

Daily writing prompt

What’s your favorite time of day?

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The Downer!

September 4th is approaching and it seems to be flying in on wings! I’ve managed to keep my mood up but last night, it went crushing down and I was back to Square 1.

We never think about health or rather we take it for granted until something unexpected crops up that could put a new spin or twist on things. This current “scare” could potentially do that and maybe even change my day-to-day existence as I know it.

I went spiralling down last night. Once I hit rock bottom, it was time to sit up and take notice of where I was. I had fought so hard to crawl out of that rabbit hole and wowed never to go back down there again. Life in its wisdom had other plans or so it seems. However, you’re allowed to spiral and you’re allowed to hit rock bottom because “the journey” is not going to be smooth sailing and I am aware of that. You will stand still at some point and you will hit rock bottom again and wonder what happened. Life did. Take stock of where you’re at but don’t stay there for too long. It’s time to dust off and stand back up. There is no other choice.

Someone told me this story of a young man in his 40s, picture of health until he went in for a routine checkup. The scan showed one brain tumor. His partner asked, “How long does he have?” The doctor replied, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” The young man, however, did not seem fazed by the news and was ready to take another trip. He can’t do anything about it so he was not going to waste a lot of time thinking about what might lie ahead of him and instead decided to enjoy the time he had.

Another friend told me to just go read my articles! Basically, he was saying I should take the same advice I was putting out there!

They both mean well but they’re not walking in my shoes. I’m scared and that is okay. I don’t want to take the test because a tube of radiation material will be injected into my tiny tiny veins! Believe me, they are tiny. More than that, the idea of that liquid invading my body makes me cringe. What might show up is another story altogether.

So I spent time sitting at the bottom of that rabbit hole, and let the tears flow. Sometimes crying is not a bad thing. I made up all the sorry stories I could and added and embellished like I would a Christmas tree. When all was said and done, it was time to crawl back out of the hole and to start moving again. I still have more than a week before I meet my nemesis, not cheesecake this time but that big machine which may or may not change my life.

Fingers and toes crossed and a kiss on Chachi, the cat’s cute little nose for good luck!

My Motivational Factors

Nature motivates me. Being out in the open and surrounded by nature helps to motivate me to do better. The message is clear, everything has a time and place and you don’t need to push, pull or dare. It happens as it happens and that is my motivation to stand out in the open and to know that everything is being taken care off and I am where I need to be, nothing more, nothing less.

Workouts not only help to get me physically fit but it also helps my emotional fitness. The motivating factor is do better each time I get into the workout mode. I train my body and my mind to do its best and sometimes I walk away not only fatigued but full of energy, if that makes sense. Workouts have the ability to turn on the youth code meaning it keeps you young and your joints don’t stiffen up. All good things.

My favorite thing to do is to write and it can be just a post of what I’m thinking about, what has been bugging me or just some advice on how to do things better. The motivating factor here is to get my creative juices flowing. My mind has a nice workout and I come away with a clearer perspective of things.

Last but not least, Chachi, the cat. This little furball does more to motivate me than a lot of the other things. My life revolves around the little bugger and he is my little love. He helps me to see life as half-full vs. half-empty. Hugs, kisses, and purrs all go to make up his way of getting his mom to get up and do the things she needs to get done!

The things listed above help to motivate me and to keep my life moving in the right direction. I am looking for more ways to add to that motivating factor but for now, I am happy where I’m at.

Daily writing prompt

What motivates you?

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The Haircut Trauma!

I finally got my haircut! Walking into the salon with a peace offering in hand, a box of chocolates for being a no show the other day, I had a smile carefully plastered on my face and was greeted with the same.

She was busy working on another client but turned and went, “Wow! Look at you! Your hair is sooo long!” with a sparkle in her eye. She has cut and styled my hair for many years now and I’m learning that she loves long hair! Everytime, I walk in that salon, I come out looking the same!

Anyway, I handed her the peace offering and a grin crossed her face.

HER: “Thank you! You shouldn’t have. Take a seat and I’ll be right with you!.”

I took my seat and out of the inner sanctum, a young guy appeared, not sure could have been a girl and said, “Follow me.” I was shown to the stylist’s chair and then asked, “Can I get you some tea?” This is normal procedure for a salon that charges an arm and a leg for a haircut. I opted for water but he/she brought me some tea as well.

Someone else walked out and ushered me to the shampoo bowl. What followed was heaven! My hair was shampooed, conditioned and massaged! Those were all the good parts. Then I was back in the chair and prepped for a haircut. The stylist appeared all smiles.

HER: “What can I do for you today? I wouldn’t take too much off, looks good as it is.”

ME: “It’s too long. I do want quite a bit taken off.”

A look crossed her face which said, “We’ll see about that!”

She made all the motions of clipping and trimming. Immediately I noticed that not much was being cut off. Then started the small talk. This is done to distract you! She fluffed, she measured and she trimmed, not cut, but trimmed. Then she handed me the mirror and said, “Looks lovely. Long hair suits you!”

It looked the same as when I walked in! Seeing the look of dismay on my face, she said quickly, “Let’s dry it.”

I squeaked, “It looks the same.” You’ve got to understand that in Europe, hairstylists are like Gods over here, just like the doctors and such! They know best. So, she proceeded to dry and kept saying, “It’s going to look good.” I think she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

The finished product looked a tad better but I still looked like I was all hair and very little else! I wanted to say, take it off another 3 inches! Instead, I walked out of there sans an arm and a leg and very little to show for it.

This morning I washed out all the stuff they put on there as part of the haircut experience. Lo and behold, the truth was staring me in the face. I was still “all hair” but it was shaped a little better and instead of my hair hanging long and flat, it seemed to have more life to it. However, I wanted it shorter, much shorter and the only way I was going to get that is if I did it myself!

It’s done for now. Live and let live until the next time around. Did I tell you I hate haircuts? I hate them just like the dental visits and all the things that go to make up what is needed to put your best face forward!

Have an amazing day.

The Fear Factor

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: “Forget Everything And Run” or “Face Everything And Rise.” The choice is yours.” Zig Ziglar

This is an interesting quote. I guess it comes down to how you want to handle fear. My first option has always been the first one. I don’t know when fear walked in and decided to take a permanent place in my life but it did and stayed for a very long time. When murder walked in and took my mother’s life, I knew just how powerful “fear” was. My life as I knew it disappeared and fear and danger were everywhere. I had changed from that fearless young girl who had once roamed the woods alone to a young woman who feared anything and everyone. This was the psychological toll that the murder had on me. Another one would follow in its wake but one was enough to turn my world upside down and to put “fear” at the helm of my existence.

“Don’t be ashamed of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything.” Carlos Ruiz Zafon

It took a long time and it took lots of work to step out from the shadows of fear. However, it never fully let go of the grip it had on me. Courage, strength, grit and focus were the tools that helped me to stand back up and to face life on its own terms.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the ability to act in the presence of fear.” Bruce Lee

This latest onslaught on my psyche has been a big one. The unknown is scary and listening to the doctor drone on about tests has brought the fears back, the ones I’ve been working on to eradicate and the ones I thought I had conquered. Now, they’re staring me in the face and I want to do this. “Forget Everything and Run!” A part of me wants to give up and run but the other part, the one that has fought numerous battles and survived wants to take on this latest challenge and emerge the winner.

“Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you faced, all the battles you have won and all the fears you have overcome.”

September 4th is D-Day. The all-important test will take place and it will determine how my life will change and what comes after. Fear? Yes, it’s there, in fact it is holding my hand right now. I hate that fear is back and holding court and courage has taken a backseat. I’m hoping that the inner spark, the inner light, the warrior within will step forward and sent it packing but it is going to take some time.

“To me fearless isn’t not having fears, It’s not that you’re afraid of anything. I think that being fearless is having a lot of fears, but you jump anyway.” Taylor Swift

So, I’m jumping into the unknown with both eyes open. Whatever comes I will face it head on and I will walk with my head held high as I have in times past. This journey of self-discovery I have been on has taught me that there is incredible strength within and it shows up when you least expect it AND it has the power to overcome the unimaginable. I hope it shows up wearing bells and shows “fear” the door. I can only hope.

Have an amazing day.

Outside Your Control

“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is.” Unknown

There are situations and circumstances in life that you cannot control. This is nothing new and those unforeseen circumstances bring chaos and turbulence into our lives. We want to take what is handed to us and to make it better, to make it alright, take it back to where we started from, where everything had sunshine and smiles around it but somehow, it just doesn’t work. What if it’s not you? What if the problem isn’t you? There are times when no matter how hard you try, there is no making the situation better. You can’t control what is outside your control.

“Nothing kills you faster than your own mind.

Don’t stress over things that are out of your control.” Unknown

What are those things that you can’t control?

Basically it boils down to, “things that have happened that someone cannot change or influence.”

It is done, it is all water under the bridge and it has moved on leaving you to deal with the aftermath. Instead of letting go and taking it in stride, the human psyche goes into damage control. Quite often it comes in the form of trying to control the situation. We want to bring back whatever we think we’ve lost. We want that person back, not that they were good for us in the first place but because we want what we can’t have. Most of all, we want to control the narrative, we want to change the story and we want to control what is outside our control.

“It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power.” Unknown

Let it go. Stop trying to control what you can’t control and take control of what you can. That’s a winning strategy right now.

According to diversushealth.org, determine what you can control and work on it.

Examples are:

How you respond to emotions and painful feelings.

How you respond to memories.

How you respond to negative thoughts.

IDENTIFY YOUR FEARS

Do you find your mind going to the worst possible scenario? Do you doubt your ability to cope if something bad happens?

SHIFT YOUR ENERGY TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING

Replaying the past or dwelling on catastrophic outcomes usually isn’t helpful. Problem solving is.

FOCUS ON YOUR INFLUENCE

What can you change? To have the most influence, focus on changing your behavior and reaction to events.

DEVELOP HEALTHY AFFIRMATIONS

Scientists estimate people have about 70,000 thoughts per day. (No wonder I get headaches!) Most of these thoughts incite self-doubt, fear, and discouragement.

Think, “I’m stronger than I think,” or “I can handle this,” or even “I can do this.” These affirmations help to drown out the negativity.

“Remember you alone get to choose what matters and what doesn’t. The meaning of everything in your life has precisely the meaning you give it.” Unknown

AND

“Just keep in mind: the more we value things outside of our control, the less control we have.” Epictetas

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. You are capable and you can handle anything that comes your way.

Have an amazing day.

Strategies I Use

Currently there are many strategies I use to increase comfort in my daily life. First thing is not to set the alarm clock. I have nowhere to go and not much to do so life doesn’t revolve around getting up at a certain time and a rigid schedule. I can do as I please and that is a great place to be in.

Candles

I love them and I love burning them. The scented ones with lovely light scents are my favorite and I usually have one or two going. I read an article recently that candles with oils in them may not be a good thing for cats so I use the naturally scented ones. Sometimes, Chachi, the cat, sniffs the air and gives me one of his Macho Pants looks.

“What you got going there mommy?!! The whole place stinks!”

Yes, he is happiest when everything reeks of tuna!

A Cold Bedroom

This is another strategy I love. In the US, I used to have the AC going 24/7 and the bedroom was very cold with lots of blankets to cuddle under. Here, I have to make do with fans but still I love a cool or rather a cold room. I sleep better that way.

Teas

I love them all. Green tea for inflammation, Fennel and Anise tea for the stomach, herbal teas for just about anything and Hibiscus tea for the skin. They also have a calming effect on me although I like coffee too but I stick to two cups a day of the dark brew and the rest of the time, I’m sipping tea.

Cheesecake

Yes, you guessed it. It still has a hold on me. I’m down to a slice every other day but it still has a tight grip on me. I found a new recipe for Keto Blueberry Cheesecake which is supposed to not have any of the bad stuff. Made some muffins yesterday using this recipe and it was delicious without none of the guilt. However, cheesecakes do UP the comfort factor, just a slice with a cup of coffee is heaven and since I don’t have anything else to measure it up to now, it is the next best thing to HEAVEN!

SLEEP

I need my 8 hours a night or else I am a Grumpus and even Chachi keeps his distance. A lot of planning goes into getting that amount of sleep. A nice shower, roomy and comfy pjs, a bedtime tea, meditation, light music……get the picture? I have to calm myself down to sleep well. So far so good.

Those are some of the things I do to increase the comfort factor in my daily life. It works for me and it keeps me where I need to be. Calm, collected, full of energy and purring like a cat!

Chachi disagrees but what does he know!

Daily writing prompt

What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?

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