health – Page 4 – Site Title

Outside Your Control

“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is.” Unknown

There are situations and circumstances in life that you cannot control. This is nothing new and those unforeseen circumstances bring chaos and turbulence into our lives. We want to take what is handed to us and to make it better, to make it alright, take it back to where we started from, where everything had sunshine and smiles around it but somehow, it just doesn’t work. What if it’s not you? What if the problem isn’t you? There are times when no matter how hard you try, there is no making the situation better. You can’t control what is outside your control.

“Nothing kills you faster than your own mind.

Don’t stress over things that are out of your control.” Unknown

What are those things that you can’t control?

Basically it boils down to, “things that have happened that someone cannot change or influence.”

It is done, it is all water under the bridge and it has moved on leaving you to deal with the aftermath. Instead of letting go and taking it in stride, the human psyche goes into damage control. Quite often it comes in the form of trying to control the situation. We want to bring back whatever we think we’ve lost. We want that person back, not that they were good for us in the first place but because we want what we can’t have. Most of all, we want to control the narrative, we want to change the story and we want to control what is outside our control.

“It’s not what you say to everyone else that determines your life, it’s what you whisper to yourself that has the greatest power.” Unknown

Let it go. Stop trying to control what you can’t control and take control of what you can. That’s a winning strategy right now.

According to diversushealth.org, determine what you can control and work on it.

Examples are:

How you respond to emotions and painful feelings.

How you respond to memories.

How you respond to negative thoughts.

IDENTIFY YOUR FEARS

Do you find your mind going to the worst possible scenario? Do you doubt your ability to cope if something bad happens?

SHIFT YOUR ENERGY TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING

Replaying the past or dwelling on catastrophic outcomes usually isn’t helpful. Problem solving is.

FOCUS ON YOUR INFLUENCE

What can you change? To have the most influence, focus on changing your behavior and reaction to events.

DEVELOP HEALTHY AFFIRMATIONS

Scientists estimate people have about 70,000 thoughts per day. (No wonder I get headaches!) Most of these thoughts incite self-doubt, fear, and discouragement.

Think, “I’m stronger than I think,” or “I can handle this,” or even “I can do this.” These affirmations help to drown out the negativity.

“Remember you alone get to choose what matters and what doesn’t. The meaning of everything in your life has precisely the meaning you give it.” Unknown

AND

“Just keep in mind: the more we value things outside of our control, the less control we have.” Epictetas

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. You are capable and you can handle anything that comes your way.

Have an amazing day.

Strategies I Use

Currently there are many strategies I use to increase comfort in my daily life. First thing is not to set the alarm clock. I have nowhere to go and not much to do so life doesn’t revolve around getting up at a certain time and a rigid schedule. I can do as I please and that is a great place to be in.

Candles

I love them and I love burning them. The scented ones with lovely light scents are my favorite and I usually have one or two going. I read an article recently that candles with oils in them may not be a good thing for cats so I use the naturally scented ones. Sometimes, Chachi, the cat, sniffs the air and gives me one of his Macho Pants looks.

“What you got going there mommy?!! The whole place stinks!”

Yes, he is happiest when everything reeks of tuna!

A Cold Bedroom

This is another strategy I love. In the US, I used to have the AC going 24/7 and the bedroom was very cold with lots of blankets to cuddle under. Here, I have to make do with fans but still I love a cool or rather a cold room. I sleep better that way.

Teas

I love them all. Green tea for inflammation, Fennel and Anise tea for the stomach, herbal teas for just about anything and Hibiscus tea for the skin. They also have a calming effect on me although I like coffee too but I stick to two cups a day of the dark brew and the rest of the time, I’m sipping tea.

Cheesecake

Yes, you guessed it. It still has a hold on me. I’m down to a slice every other day but it still has a tight grip on me. I found a new recipe for Keto Blueberry Cheesecake which is supposed to not have any of the bad stuff. Made some muffins yesterday using this recipe and it was delicious without none of the guilt. However, cheesecakes do UP the comfort factor, just a slice with a cup of coffee is heaven and since I don’t have anything else to measure it up to now, it is the next best thing to HEAVEN!

SLEEP

I need my 8 hours a night or else I am a Grumpus and even Chachi keeps his distance. A lot of planning goes into getting that amount of sleep. A nice shower, roomy and comfy pjs, a bedtime tea, meditation, light music……get the picture? I have to calm myself down to sleep well. So far so good.

Those are some of the things I do to increase the comfort factor in my daily life. It works for me and it keeps me where I need to be. Calm, collected, full of energy and purring like a cat!

Chachi disagrees but what does he know!

Daily writing prompt

What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?

View all responses

Loneliness (Archives)

“Find company within yourself and you’ll never spend a day alone. Find love within yourself and you’ll never have a lonely day.” Connor Chalfant

Loneliness is defined as sadness because one has no friends or company. However, it is actually a state of mind. People who are lonely have trouble connecting with others because even though they want and crave human contact, their state of mind makes it hard for them to see beyond what they are feeling. At this stage, they often see themselves as unworthy of friendship, they often feel rejected and more often than not, they voluntarily remove themselves from what is causing them hurt and that is the outside world and so the vicious cycle begins and takes hold.

Low self-esteem, lack of confidence and being an introvert can all lead to isolation and loneliness. The effects are far-reaching and at times scary. It can lead to antisocial behavior, feelings of not fitting in and worst case scenario, it can also lead to depression and suicide.

Almost everyone experiences loneliness at some time or rather and it gets worse during holidays, birthdays and other significant days. Someone close to me is dealing with symptoms of loneliness and any suggestions of help is falling on deaf ears. He is hell-bent on holding onto his new best friend “loneliness.” I think we are our own worst enemy and when we fall, we fall deep. We go into the trenches and it is hard to crawl back out. We tell ourselves we are not good enough as we are, opinions matter and we see ourselves as not worthy of interacting with what is out there. At times the outside world can be cruel and for someone who is struggling it can be more than daunting. What to do short of meeting with a therapist? Perhaps these few tips might help.

Be there and show that you care.

Be patient. Irritation is the common response. Show that you’re there to listen.

Join a group, exercise class or book club. There are many other options.

Do things you enjoy.

Go for a walk.

Share your feelings.

Practice self-care. Start exercising, eat nutritious foods and get enough sleep.

Love yourself warts and all.

Most of all stay busy.

If none of the above help, here are some quotes to see life from the brighter side.

“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” Mandy Hale

“It’s impossible to be lonely when you’re zesting an orange. Scrape the soft rind once and the whole room fills with fruit. Look around: you have more than enough. Always have. You just didn’t notice until now.” Mary Oliver

I love this one.

“If you are feeling lonely know that you’ll always have:

Books to nurture your mind. Hands to create and explore. Wind to calm your soul. Breathes to soothe your nerves. Nature to soak your worries away. Stars to decorate your dreams.” Emma Xie

Have an amazing day.

Ever Had Surgery?

Yes, I have. It came on unexpectedly. Several years ago I had pains on the left side of my abdomen. It was light at first and then it started getting worse. One day, I was doubled over with pain and we went to the emergency room.

They couldn’t figure out what was causing the pain but they checked me in. After two days in the hospital, they still had no idea. I was getting worried when a doctor did another check and found a huge cyst on the ovary. It needed to be cut and so I was scheduled for surgery the next day. It was a scary experience. I hate hospitals and anaesthesia makes me nervous. I lost a friend at the university. She was put under in hospital and never woke up from it! Anyway, they assured me that all would be well and that it was a minor procedure.

I woke up in the hospital room and was feeling fine until my eyes rolled up and I fell back on the bed. I have low blood pressure, always have had this problem although some may not see this as a problem. However, once in a blue moon it takes a dive and I wind up on the floor! It doesn’t happen often but it did in the hospital. They jammed something in my thigh and I was back. I stayed for another day and was discharged. If you thought hospital food is bad, you should try hospital food in Europe! Let’s just say, I was glad to be home and glad I didn’t need to be there another night.

Did I tell you, I have a fear of ghosts? Nope? Well, I do and hospitals are spooky places! One more thing, if you sense something is wrong, take it seriously. I was told by people I knew that it was nothing and just a by-product of an overactive imagination but YOU know your body best!

Daily writing prompt

Have you ever had surgery? What for?

View all responses

My Daily Habits

Photo by Darina Belonogova on Pexels.com

Breakfast is a must. I usually have a light breakfast and it is pretty much the same everyday. I admit it is boring but I’m a low-energy person in the mornings so anything more than a piece of toast seems elaborate! This is what living single does to you! Gone are the large breakfasts with eggs, bacon, pancakes, toasts and sometimes an omelette. These days, simple is the name of the game. Sometimes, I might add a slice of fruit. This morning, I had papaya and it was delicious.

Shower is a must. I hate baths but showers I love. I spend a lot of time in the shower sometimes just humming to myself and sometimes doing my beauty routine but not going to go into that here. Let’s just say, I take grooming seriously.

Some days, it’s a run to the supermarket to stock up on stuff and on other days, the pet store is on my list. Chachi, the cat, goes through food like crazy and his back end does show the after-effects of too much indulging. Like he says, “Mom, I have nothing better to do!” He’s right there but he works out with me so he is healthy that way. I do meet up with friends once or twice a week just to have coffee and catch up on things and that is enough for the week!

Workouts are a must, not a day goes by without some form of workout. I’m into Pilates now and sometimes the fusion stuff. Cardio is a must and so is yoga. Meditation is next on the list and breathing techniques are right there at the top of the list. Writing is a daily affair. Day dreaming is another must and just destressing for all its worth! Eating healthy is part and parcel of a healthy lifestyle so meal planning comes into play. I don’t spend days in advance planning but I do think about lunch and dinner when the day starts. Waiting till the last minute means I eat just about anything when hunger strikes like cheesecake! Yes, I still do have the craving for that creamy bit of nothingness and it still has a hold on me. We have a love-hate relationship going.

Getting a goodnight’s sleep is very important so I start preparing early. I have dinner at 5, yes, that’s early but after dinner, I don’t snack and I don’t eat anything else until morning rolls around. Shower comes next and it is time to get into something comfortable. The roomier the better! I do another round of meditation to get ready and then lights out at 9:30 p.m. and it’s cuddling time with the little brat, I mean with Chachi, the cat. I usually sleep through but since Chachi is crepuscular, he’s up and about, but that doesn’t really bother me.

Those are some of my daily habits. Weekends are a whole different story and you don’t want to know what those habits are!

Daily writing prompt

What are your daily habits?

View all responses

Self-Care Practice

It is at the top of my list as far as well-being goes. I do take care of myself and I have certain rituals that I do daily and sometimes weekly to get me back on track. It is not being vain as some may think, it is necessary to take care of yourself because no one else is going to.

I had an ex who referenced my self-care practices as nonsense. I didn’t need to put in that much effort into putting my best foot forward was what he said. I’m glad I didn’t listen to him! He is nowhere in the picture and I’m glad that my self-care practices still exist and are doing just fine.

My daily self-care practice is to pay careful attention to stress. It is a killer and I learned it the hard way when I accompanied a friend through the last stages of his life. I was always healthy but during that period, I started experiencing pain, health issues and other symptoms that I couldn’t explain. A consultation with a doctor revealed that I was under extreme stress. Her advice was to step back and take care of myself first. I couldn’t at the time but when it was all over, stress reduction became a priority. I do walks, deep breathing techniques, meditation, workouts and of course eating right. Just a few of the things in my self-care routine. However, on weekends I pay careful attention to my hair. I have long hair and it needs work to keep it healthy and shiny. Masks are a must, oil treatments sometimes and just some tender loving care. My skin gets the same on Sundays. Facials, scrubs and masks are a must to keep it glowing. It takes time but it is worth it.

Self-care and taking time out for yourself is needed to keep your health at its optimum best. Some may say it is all about vanity but I disagree. I’ve been doing these rituals since I was 18 and I’m not about to stop now.

I matter, my health matters and now, I take care of myself first before I put myself out there and let whatever it is to take a toll on me. It boils down to self-preservation and it is important in my book.

Daily writing prompt

How do you practice self-care?

View all responses

Chachi’s Continuing Saga

Perhaps I spoke too soon yesterday. Chachi, the cat, was doing fine earlier in the day but he took a turn for the worse later. When evening rolled around, he was looking lethargic again even though he had slept most of the day away and his eyes didn’t have the brightness they usually have.

There was no constant meowing and he was eating and drinking like he usually does. However, something seemed off and when he took to hiding under the bed, alarm bells started going off. Still, I held my calm and tried not to panic. It was hard not to do. I tried talking to him but he was quiet. Later in the evening, he walked out and after eating some food, he jumped on the bed. Holding him close, I whispered softly that all will be well. He purred and fell asleep. I made a mental note to clean under the bed. The dust bunnies have gathered and they’ve made that space their party central!

We had a goodnight’s sleep and I slept longer than usual. Wakeup time, according to Little Macho is 5:30 a.m., but this morning, I only woke up at 7 a.m., not for lack of trying from Chachi’s end!

However, I noticed that he was up and about and going about his business. When he heard the slight movement from the human, he came running and looking up, he went, “GET UP ALREADY!” He was back and his eyes looked bright and his walk was full of energy. We headed downstairs with the little macho leading the way. While making breakfast, I noticed he was running up and down the stairs like a mad cat!

ME: “You feeling better Chachi?”

He stops and winks, one slow and two fast winks and takes off again, this time to the cellar. It was quiet for a while so I headed downstairs and noticed that the runner was all bunched up. He does that all the time. Then I saw him sitting in the corner getting ready to pounce on something. It was a tiny little spider that he had cornered and had in his sight. It stood no chance against the seasoned hunter. I quickly picked it up with a tissue and flushed it down the toilet!

ME: “Stop eating creepy crawlies! You’ve probably messed up your stomach eating one of these things.”

Summer and winter brings in the occasional fly, spiders and such so nothing new there.

HIM: “You’re a party pooper mommy!” Just because you have no FUN doesn’t mean I can’t have mine!”

He’s right, mom is a stick in the mud and “FUN” is not part of her lifestyle right now but I wasn’t going to let this little snort tell me that. So I shooed him up the stairs and said, “I’m going to clean under the bed after breakfast!”

He stopped, turned around and went, “NO! NO! NO!”

ME: “Why not?”

HIM: “I’ve got STUFF!”

ME: “What stuff?”

HIM: “Boy stuff!”

ME: “What do you mean boy stuff? May I remind you that you’re not a ……”

I stopped mid-sentence knowing full well that he’s right. He’s a little boy in my mind and whatever “boy stuff” he’s talking about, I really didn’t want to know!

So I ran a wet mop under the bed to clear the dust bunnies who put up a fight as well as the little macho stood watching me. Whatever else was there I left as is. Some secrets are better left alone.

The royal pain in the you know what is running around caught up in his world of make-believe and I’m happy that he’s happy. He’s doing much better and I hope it stays that way. Fingers crossed!

Have an amazing day.

Einstein’s Bout with the Unknown (Update)

He is back to his normal self and this morning started really early with him tapping my head to get me out of bed! Then followed, “MOMMY!!” It was a signal that all was well again and he was raring to go. The little motorized mouse wasn’t moving anymore but that’s par for the course. Little Einstein plays rough and he has this passive-aggressive thing going. The mouse looks fine but psychologically, I can’t vouch for it!

The little guy in the fur coat hasn’t been feeling well for a few days. It could be the heatwave or the thunderstorms that followed but Little Einstein looks like he has had it up to here, if you know what I mean.

He’s been moping around and energetic he is not. His whole demeanor speaks of someone who has had a tough few days. Mom had to step in and with the help of Google, I’ve tried soups to soothe an upset stomach, thick green paste especially for gastrointestinal problems and lots of water but all to no avail. They only helped for a day or two.

So I brought home a little friend. I thought that would cheer him up. A motorized little mouse, cute as a button, that had his tail wagging for a while and then he slapped it down with one paw and that was the end of that. This morning I woke up to find his toy basket overturned and all his stuffed toys on the floor along with the stuffing!

ME: “Did you have a party last night Chachi?!! It must have been a wild one.”

A snort and a Garfield stare later, he goes, “I have nothing to say!”

I tried a different ploy. I got some stomach oil from the pet store. A few drops in his food and it should do the trick of getting him on the mend again. He’s not called Little Einstein for nothing! The food is still sitting there untouched and each time he goes past it, he makes “burying” motions with his paws and looks up at me!

If things don’t get better, a vet’s visit will be next. I’m not looking forward to that so I’ll try lots of kisses, hugs, attention and cuddles to see if I can cheer the little fella up. The white flag is up and tonight he gets his favorite tuna with nothing mixed in! The things I do for the four-legged baby short of standing on my head and doing circus tricks!

He’s worth it!

Have an amazing day.

Einstein’s Bout with the Unknown

ME: “Did you have a party last night Chachi?!! It must have been a wild one.”

A snort and a Garfield stare later, he goes, “I have nothing to say!”

He’s worth it!

Have an amazing day.

Anxiety

According to Wikipedia, it is defined as “an emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil and includes feelings of dread over anticipated events.”

Panic attacks, on the other hand, “are sudden periods of intense fear and discomfort that may include palpitations, otherwise defined as a rapid, irregular heartbeat, sweating, chest pain or discomfort, shortness of breath, trembling, dizziness, numbness, confusion, or a sense of impending doom or loss of control.”

These are not very nice emotions but I’m sure that you’ve experienced them at some point in your life and in my case, “anxiety” visits more often than I want it to. Not to a crippling degree but when it does, I want it to leave like an unwanted visitor who is not welcomed to stay.

According to verywellmind.com, there is a simple technique to take the power away from anxiety. They call it the 333 rule. This rule is said to be a gamechanger on how to manage anxiety.

Notice three things you can see around you. Observe the objects carefully. Note the details, colors, and shapes. This process helps to shift your focus from internal anxiety to your external environment.

Listen closely. Identify three sounds you can hear. They could be loud or subtle sounds and concentrate on them. This also takes your focus away from the internal turmoil and puts it on something else.

Move three parts of your body. Roll your shoulders, wiggle your toes or just turn your head. Pay attention to the sensations caused by each movement.

Repeat all three as many times as necessary until you feel calm and collected.

If that fails, then here are some quotes to get you on the way.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Anne Lamott

I love this one. Unplugging in my case means going within to a place of quiet. Meditation is my go to method and breathing techniques are another way of quieting the mind and to let nirvana reign.

“Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.” Jodi Picoult

True. You’ve got to move meaning you’ve got to do the work to get rid of anxiety. You can choose to sit still and “rock” but staying still in one spot is not going to do it. Anxiety needs action.

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” Mandy Hale

Taking a breath and letting go has worked but not always. The “see what happens” part scares me but it’s worth a try.

“Living with anxiety is like being followed by a voice. It knows all your insecurities and uses them against you. It gets to the point when it’s the loudest voice in the room –it’s the only one you hear.” Unknown

Shut it down, make room for the stillness to come in and take a step in the right direction, one step at a time. If all else fails, put an “out of order sign on your forehead” and retreat. Let anxiety go through you. It’ll find its way out in a little while, it always does.

LET GO OF CONTROL AND KNOW THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.

Have an amazing day.