life lessons – Page 10

Chapters

“Life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some are happy and some are exciting, but if you never turn the page, you will never know what the next chapter has in store for you.” Unknown

However, turning that page and moving on to the next chapter is the hard part. Sometimes we want to stay where we are because the unknown is the unknown. We don’t know what is waiting there and that is the scary part and the known where we are right now even though painful, sad, or is just downright unbearable is better than where we are headed or so we think.

“A chapter in someone’s life or in history is a period of time during which a major event or series of related events takes place.” http://www.collinsdictionary.com

Our lives are made up of many chapters, some good, some bad, some happy, some sad and some you may just want to BURN because you never want to revisit or reread that chapter ever again but whatever the case maybe it is all part and parcel of your life story. Learn from it and move on.

Think of life as a book and you have a story to tell. Sometimes you write the narrative but at other times it is written for you. It could be a moment in time when life comes to a screeching halt because of some unforeseen circumstance or it could be the most beautiful moment in your life that makes you want to float on air, dance and shout to the heavens at just how happy you are. They are moments and events in your life and it doesn’t matter what they are, those chapters makeup your life story, good or bad. Embrace them for what they are as lessons that needed to be learned and lived through.

Life can be difficult and there is no doubt about that. Nothing ever stands still for long. Changes come and go and just when you think you have a hold on life, it changes the playbook and turns your world as you know it upside down. The truth is, life is there to teach us lessons whether we want to learn or not. It is not like school where we show up and when we shut the book, it is over. In the school of life, you can’t just shut the book and walk away. It would be easier if we could but no chance there. It wants to TEACH and you better pay ATTENTION is the message. The truth of the matter is, you can start anew or you are given a chance to do so and that too is the idiosyncrasy of life. No matter where you are and even if you feel like it’s the end and YOU can’t write another chapter, it shows you otherwise. Whether you come out with the best grades is all up to you and in the school of life, strength matters and the courage to keep going is what is needed to move forward. It’s not going to be easy and it is going to require superhuman strength but if you keep chipping away at that rock or mountain standing in your way, you will make it to the other side at some point in time.

Wipe those tears aways, brush your hair, get dressed and stand back up. Your story is not over. You need to get to the other side of this whatever ‘this’ is for you. It could be a painful breakup, it could be the loss of a loved one or it could be that you just can’t seem to get a handle on life and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get it going. Guess what? You can and you will. It takes guts, it takes courage and the will to do so.

“Don’t give up because of one bad chapter in your life. Keep going. Your story doesn’t end here.”

That’s absolutely right. You have a story to tell so get out there, put your best intentions forward and make it a bestseller. Make it the best one yet! Turn that page, who knows the ‘best’ maybe just around the corner.

“Today I close the door to the past, open the door to the future, take a deep breath, step on through and start a new chapter in my life.”

Don’t forget to smile while you’re doing it!

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Pay Attention

Life often speaks in whispers at the beginning, it stomps its feet if you don’t listen and it screams to get your attention when you’re heading towards a head-on collision. Through it all, it has your back and is on your side if only you are willing to pay attention to what it has to say. And that is the hard part.

“Consider for a moment what you pay attention to all day long. What seems important to you, what do you take for granted and hardly attend to at all? Write it down. Do not judge your answers. Be honest and simple. As you keep track all week long, you’ll be amazed at what claims your attention what you give your precious life force to.” Brenda Shoshanna

The truth is as “humans” we march to our own drumbeat. We see what is not good for us, we know it spells trouble and we know if we keep going down that path, it will take us to exactly where we don’t want to go BUT we are hell-bent on doing it anyway. Are we wired for destruction, is that what we seek? At times, it seems that way but luckily for us, life comes in and shows us the way out but only if we pay attention.

“Pay attention to the signs. Stop making excuses for people. Stop defending their inconsiderate ways. Start taking care of you and your own needs.” Unknown

I do that all the time. Make excuses for inconsiderate people that is BUT there comes a point in time when I say enough is enough and then I shut the door behind me but unfortunately, it is always a day late and a dollar short. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way but most of us do. Don’t ask me why but we just do. Do we get a thrill out of pain? I don’t know but not paying attention when life is screaming seems to be the problem.

When we don’t pay attention to love, it has a tendency to bring us down to our knees and then we ask what happened? We know exactly why. The answers have been staring us in the face even before the collision happened.

Pay Attention To Her:

When a woman is “tripping” she cares, when a woman is “mad” she believed in you and you let her down, when she is “asking questions” she is trying to gain clarity, when she is “quiet” and letting things slide she is giving up….And when she is not doing all of the above…just know you have lost a good woman.” Unknown

AND

“Sometimes you have to put aside what you feel for them, and PAY ATTENTION to what their actions are saying they feel for you.”

Finally, paying attention seems to be the key to a better life, better relationships and a better way through the intricate maze we call life. Pay attention to the signs before it is too late. Not easy to do as always but there is no other way it seems.

Listen to the wind, it talks.

Listen to the silence, it speaks.

Listen to your heart, it knows. Native American Proverb

Have An Amazing Day

Change Your Strategy

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“Failure is hard. But turn those failures into learning experiences, so that you’ll look back and be happy that you failed, because you gained more knowledge from that experience. Sometimes, it’s simply an indication to change your strategy instead of giving up completely.” Albert Rogers

“Change your strategy” is often used in the business world to place emphasis on a module that is not working so it’s time to regroup and refocus your energy into bringing in new options to make whatever is not working into a workable one. This concept works in real-life as well. If something doesn’t work, change it. Seems like a great idea at first glance but hard to put into action if you love the ‘plan’ you’ve put into action and and are dead set against changing it. If you’re someone who doesn’t like change like yours truly here, it is a concept that is hard to comprehend let alone to work with.

“Waiting for something outside you to change before you change is a broken strategy. Fix it by deciding to be someone different and do something different. Transformation happens from the inside out if you take action.” Unknown

Taking that into account, it seems like the most sensible way to go about changing failure into a success story. The problem is you must want to. It’s not going to work any other way. Pinpoint the problem, refocus your energy, find ways to take a failure and change it into a winning solution and put it into action. If you think you’re doing everything right and you still don’t understand why you’re failing then it’s time to really look at what you’re doing and find a different way of doing it. There’s more than one way to skin a cat as the euphemism goes and no matter how offensive that might be, being a cat lover myself, it just means there are other ways of doing something. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Be open to change and change your strategy. However, there are times when you can do everything possible until you’re blue in the face and still the same old failure concept comes knocking at your door and if that’s the case, do not despair. You’ll get there, just keep trying.

Learn to roll with the punches, keep getting back up when life knocks you down and never ever give up.

“When you face failures, don’t change your goal, change your strategy.” Vivek Bindra

I’ve experienced life in all its wonderful and not so wonderful facets and the one that I hate or hated the most was change. My motto was, “Why fix something if it ain’t broke.” The actual thought behind that was, “I like where I’m at, good or bad and change is for the birds!” It took years of resistance, falling down, refusing to get back up and digging my heels in AND screaming, “Leave me alone!” to realize that change is an integral part of life. It teaches us in a not so nice way that it’s needed, falling makes you gain experience and you learn that YOU are not God. So move along, embrace change before it’s too late. I learned it the hard way and I still bristle when I see ‘change’ coming around but these days I’m ready to embrace it, learn what it has to offer and to accept it for what it is. A lesson learned because it has to be learned.

“Failure is nothing more than a chance to revise your strategy.” Unknown

Oops! I’ve got to run. I see ‘change’ approaching wearing a smile on its face and with bells clanging and I’m not in the mood for it today. Just kidding.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Press Reset

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“Don’t forget power in resetting, on any given day…you are allowed to start over, if you feel like you’re going down the wrong path, RESET.” Reyna Biddy

When the sun goes down and you find yourself staring at another day ending and you realize that progress is not being made, hit the “RESET” button. You are not stuck even though it might feel that way at times but you have the power to change whatever it is you want to change in your life. You need the mindset, know what it is you’re after, hit “reset” and go after it.

It is not that simple I know. In fact, it might be one of the hardest things you’ll have to do because changing your mindset is not easy and it is not simple either. Old habits die hard and sometimes they are hard to give up because there is comfort in hanging on to things you know best. Laziness, putting out the least effort possible and waiting for the world to reward you for nothing in particular is not going to work and it has never worked.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” C. S. Lewis

It takes YOU to change your place in the world. Where you stand, how high or low you are in the grand scheme of things all depends on you but one thing is clear, progress needs hard work, it means falling down a few more times than you wanted to but always keeping your eyes on the prize. If you want that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you’ve got to go after it. We want to make life simple but it has other plans for us. Life is about learning from your mistakes, saying “no” to easy and knowing that you’ve got to throw yourself into “hard” to make it happen. Falling down is part and parcel of this thing called life but standing back up and moving forward gives you another chance, another opportunity to reach your end goal. You need to be better and you need to set yourself apart from the ordinary to make it. Sparkles and sunshine is not always the case but grit and determination will get you there.

Hitting “reset” and doing the same old things over and over again is not going to do it either. You need to “refocus” to get things going again. If something is not working, focus on what it is and change it. Try different angles and attitudes and at some point you’ll get it right, at least I hope I will at some point in time. Until then, I’ll hit “reset” as many times as I need to and I’ll tell the “victim mentality” I carry around with me which keeps me from achieving my goals to hit the door as well!

So if you’re standing where I have many many times before and watching the sun set on another fruitless day, hit “RESET.” Tomorrow is on its way, it’s a new day to work your magic on a blank slate and to have your name written there as a success story. It’s all up to you.

Reset, refocus, readjust, restart, as many times as you need to. JUST NEVER GIVE UP!” Unknown

Finding Yourself

“Finding yourself” is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a child and adult that became your beliefs about who you are. “Finding yourself” is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation of remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you. Unknown

I love this quote above because it speaks to the truth of the matter. Quite often we ask who am I? How do I find myself again? These questions often arise after an especially hard or traumatic time and you are feeling lost. Feeling lost and not seeing a clear path ahead is normal, all of us go through it at one point or another. However, staying lost in a jungle of emotions for long periods of time is concerning and needs looking into.

Cultural conditioning does play a big part in how you see yourself. “It’s your upbringing!” I’m sure you’ve heard that one before, I have. I equate the way I react to certain things to my rigid Christian upbringing. Even though I bucked at all the rules and regulations, I couldn’t get away from my conditioning as a young Christian girl. You can take the girl out of that environment but you can’t take the deeply ingrained teachings out of the girl. So it was and is with me.

People’s opinions is a powerful tool indeed. There are good, not so good and extremely biased ones and they can help to build or tear you down. Opinions are a dime a dozen but when used as a weapon, they have the potential to hurt and to fashion your outlook on life and yourself. If you are faced with constant negative feedback, you become conditioned to expect more of the same. It’s the same for positive feedback and so people do have a hold on how you see the world. It’s easy to say let it roll off your back but some of those opinions can break your bones and that is the problem.

In the dating world, you come across many different types of men. The ones who make my skin crawl are the ones who expect “something” from the get go. By date 3, you get the feeling that you’re expected to put out or else you are “COMPLICATED!” Heard that one before? That is an opinion purely designed to make you feel like there is something totally wrong with you if you don’t. I don’t “put out” so I’ve heard that term applied to yours truly many times over. Each time I squirm when I hear it. Two days ago a friend showed up at my door. Friend to me but he’s on another track altogether. First words out of his mouth, “Why don’t you take me upstairs?” And when he saw the look on my face he went on to add, “YOU ARE COMPLICATED!” This time around I didn’t take it sitting down. “Listen, just because you can’t get what you want does not mean I’m complicated. Besides, I’m not accepting your viewpoint of me!”

He didn’t see that one coming. He gulped like a goldfish out of water and before he could say another word, I showed him the door. The moral of this story is, you alone decide which opinions get to you, which ones you keep and which ones you throw out the door! Life is simpler that way. The power is in your hands and yes at times you have to grow a thick skin.

Inaccurate conclusions arising from what you’ve faced through your journey is another one that will make you question your self-worth and who you are as a person. Those inaccurate conclusions can be changed. It is up to you to change how you feel about yourself but only you can do that. Finding yourself takes work and it is a journey of self-discovery and self-awareness.

According to psychologytoday.com, it is a crucial step because it is the key to living a fulfilling and authentic life. Reflect on your life experiences, both positive and negative ones. What have you learned from them? How have they shaped you? Embrace your strengths, accept your weaknesses and show up in the world as your genuine self.

LEARN TO FLY AGAIN.

Toxic People

We’ve met them, had to deal with them and been in relationships with them. I’m talking about toxic people. We’ve suffered the consequences but still carried on hoping that change would come. It never does. The outcome is always the same. It is often accompanied by pain and confusion. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is little you can do to change a ‘toxic’ person but you can protect yourself.

In order to deal with a toxic person you need to know their modus operandi or rather how they operate in their world. According to The Mind Journal, there are six types of toxic people.

THE NARCISSIST

Only cares about themselves

Lacks empathy

Truly believes they are better than everyone around them.

THE CONTROLLER

Tries to control everything around them.

Needs to be in charge of every decision.

Makes you feel like you can’t do anything right.

THE DRAMA MAGNET

Feeds off of gossip and drama

Drama seems to ‘follow them’ (they create it).

Puts you in uncomfortable positions.

THE ENERGY VAMPIRE

Drains you of energy, overwhelms you.

Creates problems and feeds on the negativity.

Criticizes and bullies you.

THE COMPULSIVE LIAR

Tells white lies constantly.

Manipulates and gaslights you.

Master of guilt trips.

THE GREEN EYED

Cannot be happy for other people’s good fortune.

Plays the victim

Minimizes other people to feel better about themselves.

These people often bring conflict, negativity and confusion not to mention pain into your life. Dealing with them is like walking on a minefield not suspecting anything would go wrong but eventually it does because they are wired a certain way. They are manipulative, oftentimes abusive and they will find ways to justify their behavior. Remorse never crosses their mind and taking accountability for their actions is a never never thing. They usually take without giving back.

“Just remember, we are all toxic. Every single human being is capable of being toxic, has been, currently is at times.

But some people have the desire to be educated on it and do better while others will ignore any accountability and continue to act the same way.”

Pay Attention

It is not clear why we keep doing circles around toxic people? Perhaps it has something to do with stupidity and the definition of stupid goes like this.

“Knowing the truth, seeing the truth, but still believing the lies.” Unknown

Toxic people for all their flaws can be magnetic. They tend to pull you in and make you want to stay for awhile and if love is involved, it brings a whole new dimension with it.

“Love is 50% stupid and 50% brilliant. The challenge is figuring out which part of it you’re experiencing at any given moment.” Unknown

Once you’ve figured out that you’ve hitched your yoke to a toxic person and don’t know what to do, the following quote might just help.

You don’t ever have to feel guilty about Removing Toxic People From Your Life.

“It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance, you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and “continues” to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.”

Painful but short and sweet and perhaps this is the only language that ‘toxic’ people understand. Unfortunately.

Stay Calm, Stay Focused

Staying calm and focused when your mind tells you otherwise is normal. It is human nature. My mind goes haywire and jumps around like a monkey when I’m stressed or I have to concentrate on what is before me and what needs to get done. Oftentimes I need to take a step back, go within myself to find the strength in silence and to focus on what I need to do to move on. It doesn’t always work but it does work if I stay focused.

“The ability to remain calm and focused on what truly matters is a superpower.” Unknown

Be like the tree that has weathered many storms and is still standing. It takes practice and a certain kind of mindset to weather a storm, any storm. If you’ve never worked a day in your life and the time has come to find a job, to get independent and to stand on your own two feet, you tend to lose focus because the unknown is formidable. However, with each fall you take, you gain the strength and the know how to get back up and to keep moving. Time, focus, calm and lots of practice makes it possible and soon you will be standing like that tree, strong and unshakeable in any storm. Breathe and keep moving. Standing still is never the answer.

“Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. C. Lourie

Stay focused but not on the wrong things. I can’t do this is not one of them. This is way too scary is not one of them. The ‘monster’ is too hard to slay is not one of them. Focus on finding the positive within the negative. Be prepared to put one foot in front of the other but whatever you do, do not take the easy way out or rather the coward’s way out and give up. It is easy to give up but much harder to step into an unknown arena and to win the day. YOU CAN DO THIS!

“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breathe and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are. You got this.” Unknown

Finally, tell the monkey in your brain that keeps dragging you all over the place with no end in sight to take a hike! Breathe, calm yourself down and stay focus on what you need to do to make it. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Have an amazing day.

MOVE!

Movement is needed in all aspects of our lives. Digging in your heels and staying put never works. It might for a short time but never in the long run. When life shows us its idiosyncrasies, human nature is quick to respond and oftentimes we respond by digging in our heels and thumping our nose at it. The problem is the more you dig in your heels, the bleaker life feels, that’s because:

“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Rachel Wolchin

What is the true meaning of life? Many have tried to find a definition but no one knows for sure. One thing is for sure and that is life happens. It doesn’t stand still and it moves faster than we want it to at times.

“Once a wise man was asked, ‘What’s the meaning of life?’ He replied, ‘Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.’

However, to create meaning out of something that is handed to you and you don’t want to face head on is hard, very hard. First thought that comes to mind when I’m faced with ‘hard’ is, I am going to dig in my heels and ignore it for all its worth. Life, on the other hand, is not going to take no for an answer. Adapt or stay where you are and deal with the consequences of your non-action and that could be worse than what it throws your way. If you want to have the upper hand, you’ve got to MOVE!

John Wooden says,

“If we fail to adapt, we fail to move forward.”

Ain’t that the absolute truth? In order to accept and move on, you first have to change your mindset and make a conscious effort to move on. Where? There are no clear-cut answers and that is the scary part. It seems the outcome is all up to you. Putting one foot in front of the other is needed and taking small steps is needed too. Staring at the four walls in front of you and howling at the moon is not going to do it. You need to MOVE!

You need to take what is handed to you, sieve through the pieces and make sense out of it. Say, I can do this and go do whatever it is that needs to be done and do it. This move is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage and unrelenting strength plus trust that it will all turn out well in the end. Sometimes all it takes to climb that insurmountable mountain is attitude. A positive attitude combined with never giving up will get you to the top of the mountain and beyond. MOVE!

Albert Einstein once said:

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

I like this one better.

“Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles M. Schulz

Always remember, you can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you choose to stay in one place and refuse to MOVE! Don’t let life pass you by. Keeping up is what it is all about.

MOVE!

Victim

A victim is defined as “a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action or it could be “a person who is tricked or duped,” or “a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.”

Which are you? Where do you fit in the victim modus because if you’re a victim you will identify with one or the other of the descriptions above. I relate to the last two.

“You only get to be a victim once. After that, you’re a volunteer.” Unknown

I’m not quite sure that I fully agree with that sentiment. I’ve been a victim many times over and each time I tell myself I’ll do better the next time around but when the next time rolls around as it inevitably does, I get dragged in to the same outcomes. Basically, pain, disbelief and anger. Does this mean that I’m ‘volunteering’ to relive victimhood over and over again. Or does it mean that I didn’t learn what not to do the first time around and haven’t learned from my mistakes? Probably both.

“The victim mindset will have you dancing with the devil, then complaining that you’re in hell.” Unknown

I didn’t even know I was a victim until it blindsided me which made it harder to bear. I was a relationship victim, more specifically a victim of deceit and I was the woman who got left behind. However, instead of picking myself back up and moving on, I chose to “dance with the devil.” It took years of soul-searching, of blaming myself for his indiscretions and worst of all cutting myself down to size and way beyond to realize that I was the perfect victim. I must say, I played the role well. I went through the five phases of grief which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It doesn’t often play out that way and it doesn’t always happen in that order either because sometimes you are not given the chance to grieve because the ‘devil’ that caused the problem in the first place keeps hanging on and so there is no closure or learning from your mistakes. Since then, I’ve played ‘volunteer’ if you want to call it that to similar circumstances. However, I am learning not to play victim to circumstances I created myself meaning I knew from the get go what I was getting myself into and that I only have myself to blame for what followed. Is there something about the familiarity of the situation that reels you in or makes you want to play in the mud puddles knowing full well that you’ll get dirty but the “LURE” is just too much to resist? Perhaps. I am trying to change that.

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.” Eckhart Tolle

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will find myself along the same avenue at a later point in my life, not because I haven’t learned but because life happens and being a victim is woven into my being perhaps because I am too nice, too naive or I am the perfect victim type. Whatever the case maybe, I also know that if that happens I am fully equipped to ‘slay the monster,’ and put it to rest where it belongs because I have learned along the way and I am moving on.

“The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: he or she has become a threat.” Unknown

So watch out whoever you are! If you’re here to play games, you better get going. I will no longer volunteer to be your victim. I’ve outgrown the “victim mentality” and I’m on my way equipped with everything that is needed to put those who love or enjoy victimizing people where they belong and that is in the annals of hell!

“We’re sorry, your request for victim status has been denied. You are being referred to the Big Girl Panties Department. Please stand by.”

Life Happens

“I’ve learned over and over that life happens on its own terms, not mine.” Kate Walsh

Ms. Walsh is absolutely right in that respect. Life happens as it happens and most times you have no control over it whatsoever. What fun is there in having a crystal ball to show you everything before it comes knocking on your door right? Well, I for one think it might just make life a tad easier but no luck there. Life happens and you’ll just have to deal with whatever comes your way whether you want to or not.

“Life happens,” is an idiom used to express that there are things we can’t control, foresee or prepare for. The future is unknown, and anything could happen.

According to Sarah Pierson of Huffingtonpost, here are some tips on how to make life happen instead of just letting it happen to you.

Create a timeline of the things you most want to experience or accomplish. Basically have some goals and go out and get them done.

Take risks. I’m not a risk taker so this is hard for me. However, taking risks is the way to go according to Ms. Pearson. You need to get yourself out there in order to overcome the fears of facing life head-on.

Invest in people. Investing your time in people is well worth the effort it seems because the rewards are plenty. It is time well-spent, cuts back on loneliness and it gets you out there in this great big world of ours.

Learn to let go of that which you cannot control and to adapt. This is another hard one for me. Letting go has never been my forte and adapting, well, that’s right up there with one of the hardest things to do! I am willing to give it a go.

Seek advice from those who are living life fully. This is a good one. Learning by example is never a bad idea.

Travel

Learn not to compare. If you’re always comparing yourself to someone who has more than you, who looks better than you or someone who just seems to have it altogether, you’ll never get a handle on your own life because you’ll always be hoping and wishing instead of bringing the focus back to you and that is where it needs to be to move forward.

“Be available for life to happen.” Bill Murray

In order for life to happen, you’ve got to start making life happen. If it’s a job you want, make a plan. It’s not going to fall into your lap, you’ve got to move to make it happen. Read up on the best interview strategies. Find out how you can hone your skills to come across as the best candidate for the job. Spruce up your appearance, those old ratty pair of jeans and seen better days t-shirts will have to go. Invest in some good clothes. It matters. Finding a job in this fast-paced and dog eat dog world is never easy and daunting to say the least but with hard work, dedication and effort, you can land the job of your dreams. Never give up and you are almost a winner!

If it’s a relationship you want, get rid of the no gooders. Period. If they don’t contribute to your life, get rid of them. If you’re looking for that perfect someone, it starts with you. Do your homework and find out what it is that you want. There is no such thing as ‘perfect’ but you’ll get pretty close if you’re willing to settle for mutual respect, love and honesty. The rest will fall in place.

If it’s happiness you’re looking for, you’ll have to do the work here as well. Nothing is ever handed to you on a silver platter. Know what makes YOU happy and go out and find it. Easier said than done? Well, yes but there is no other way unfortunately.

“Life happens to all of us. It’s not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us that really decides if we’re going to be victims or if we’re going to get and have everything we’ve ever dreamed of.” Eric Thomas

Finally, get to know yourself. Spend time with yourself to find out what it is that you want. If it’s one or all of the things mentioned above but you don’t know where to start, have no fear because you are fully capable of figuring it out. You know what makes you tick, what makes you happy so don’t just let life happen, make it happen the way you want it. If it scares you, you’re not alone. Join the club!

“No matter what happens, you can get through the day. Inhale. Focus on the word, ‘relax.’ Exhale. Say, ‘I can do this! And then do it.” Ace Antonio Hall