I want to say keeping my sanity intact! Just kidding or maybe NOT. Let’s see this question requires thinking ahead and not a day ahead but six months in the future and that is a challenge in itself!
This year is going to be a challenge because I have certain goals I want to achieve. I’m a stickler for the rules and even though they are rules of my own making I try to keep to them even if it means drowning in the process! Just kidding.
One challenge is to keep away from MEN! We’re into month two and I’m doing fine with this challenge. I need to find out what I want out of life, who I want to be with and change certain mindsets about me which will stop me from going down the same paths over and over again. I did that last year and it didn’t work out well so this year the challenge is to go it alone until I am good and ready to put myself out there again. It may never happen and that is a challenge right there but who knows, I don’t need to rush into relationships simply because someone says so or rush into something I am not ready for.
I realize that when you close the door and go within, when you are not looking that’s when the menfolk come out in droves! It’s as if they view you as a challenge, one that needs to be broken. Go figure! I say good luck because I’m not just a stickler for rules but I’ve got willpower oozing out my pores even if it smells like cheesecake sometimes referring to my cheesecake fetish of course!
That’s my six months challenge in a nutshell.
Daily writing prompt
What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?
Mandy Hale is a blogger turned New York Times bestselling author and speaker but what captures your attention as far as her quotes are concerned is her ability to connect to the heart of the matter. She is “inspirational, straight-talking. witty” and she empowers women around the world with her quotes. Here are some of my favorites for you to enjoy.
“The only keeper of your happiness is you. Stop giving people the power to control your smile, your worth and your attitude.”
“There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.”
“The key to happiness is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be.”
“Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path.”
“To make a difference in someone’s life you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect, you just have to care.”
“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake and help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”
It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it.”
“Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is BRAVE, even if you stumble a little on your way out the door.”
“Don’t sacrifice your peace trying to point out someone’s true colors, lack of character always reveals itself in the end.”
“There is no model, no actress, no Miss America contender that can outshine a happy, confident, secure woman.”
“The real character of a person is revealed not in how they begin a relationship, but how they end one.”
The next one is where I’m at and it’s hard trusting and believing that “better” is on the way but I’m going to take that chance.
“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.”
Pay attention to this one. There is a whole world of truth in that one quote.
“The right man for you will move mountains to be with you, he won’t hide behind them.”
“Patience is a virtue” a short phrase that means “waiting calmly is a good trait.” This was coined way back when waiting for anything to happen was normal and waiting patiently was considered a virtue rather than a hair pulling experience. Well, at least the English poet, William Langland, who came up with this phrase in 1360 thought so.
These days, patience is a learned virtue. At times it takes super-human strength to say, it is ok, I’ll wait a little while longer. The extreme could be waiting for something that never happens but promised it will. There are people in this world who think that showing up late is fashionable. I know someone or have known several people who showed up 30 minutes late for an appointment without so much as calling to say they are running late. This not showing up on time is stamped into their DNA so there is nothing you can do about it except show PATIENCE even if you have to grit your teeth and bear it. Needless to say, these people don’t have a permanent place in my life. They brought my patience level to the negative and it was time for them to go!
“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.” Leo Tolstoy
Both come into play when dealing with people who show disrespect for your time and your patience level. It’s not that they don’t know what they are doing, they DO KNOW and that is the truth of the matter. Would they like it if you showed up late or worse still did not show up at all? What would happen if the shoe was on the other foot? I guarantee you they wouldn’t tolerate it for one minute.
“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.” David G. Allan
Fine and good. However, these days my patience level is not where it used to be. Gone are the days of accepting it as a slight faux pas. These days, if it happens more than once, I am ready to close the door and move on. Patience is not my strong suit but than again why pull your hair out when in the end you’re the one who ends up with a bald spot and not the person who takes the laid back attitude to life. Believe me, patience is not all it has been cut out to be. Virtue or not, in the end your well-being matters, you matter and your principles matter. You don’t have to put up with it. That said, here are some quotes to lighten the topic.
“My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him, well next time don’t leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.” Unknown
“My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He said I had to reduce stress in my life, which is pretty much the same thing.” Unknown
“The fact that my entire body cracks like a glowstick whenever I move and yet refuses to actually glow is very disappointing.”
“My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I’m not dead.”
Tried this last weekend and it was pretty relaxing I must say.
“I MAY LOOK CALM —but in my mind I’ve already killed you twice.”
“Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.” Ann Bradford
I did but it doesn’t work.
This one I like a lot. It made me laugh which is a good thing.
“I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.”
If you’re the type of person who plays havoc with other people’s patience, STOP! Treat others as you would like to be treated and that should do the trick but if it doesn’t and you’re a hardcore and professional patience tester, I hope you get what you deserve.
“You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.” Nina Simone
This quote brought a smile to my face. How often have we done exactly that? How often have we held on when it was absolutely clear that no amount of cajoling or talking someone into whatever it is you want from them was ever going to change the situation. If that someone does not love you or has stopped loving you, MOVE ON! Learn to leave with your dignity intact.
Easier said than done right? When I found out that my husband of 17 years had been cheating on me something broke within me. I can’t explain it. I became numb. After it wore off, I went into the, “I’ve got to save this marriage mode.” The truth was there was no saving what was never there. When he chose to cheat, he broke the sacred bond between us, broke the trust into a millions pieces, disrespected me and declared our love to be a non-entity. How do you save something that was broken beyond repair? Still I sat at that table. I refused to leave thinking we could go back to a semblance of what was. I cried, I begged and even made a fool of myself but chasing him after he had done wrong only gave him more power over me. He didn’t see his wife or the broken woman before him, he saw someone he could manipulate and decided that he could have his cake and eat it too. When that didn’t work, he walked chasing greener pastures so to speak. Unfortunately or fortunately, cheating never pays and soon that “green pasture” turned into a desert and it was over before he could say, “Hello!”
Commitment is a tricky thing. Sometimes we look for it in all the wrong places. We latch on and even if all the signs tell us to tread lightly we rush in refusing to budge thinking that if we just waited long enough, something will give and sitting at the table of “no love” will turn into something glorious. The truth of the matter is as Matthew Hussey put it so succinctly,
“You shouldn’t try to sell a car to someone who’s in the market for a bike.”
I am learning that I’m NOT looking for the guy who wants to buy the bike, he can have it for all I care. I don’t think I’m even trying to sell a car. These days, I know that I don’t have to sell anything. I am good enough as I am, no selling required!
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.” Roy T. Bennett
“Find company within yourself and you’ll never spend a day alone. Find love within yourself and you’ll never have a lonely day.” Connor Chalfant
Loneliness is defined as sadness because one has no friends or company. However, it is actually a state of mind. People who are lonely have trouble connecting with others because even though they want and crave human contact, their state of mind makes it hard for them to see beyond what they are feeling. At this stage, they often see themselves as unworthy of friendship, they often feel rejected and more often than not, they voluntarily remove themselves from what is causing them hurt and that is the outside world and so the vicious cycle begins and takes hold.
Low self-esteem, lack of confidence and being an introvert can all lead to isolation and loneliness. The effects are far-reaching and at times scary. It can lead to antisocial behavior, feelings of not fitting in and worst case scenario, it can also lead to depression and suicide.
Almost everyone experiences loneliness at some time or rather and it gets worse during holidays, birthdays and other significant days. Someone close to me is dealing with symptoms of loneliness and any suggestions of help is falling on deaf ears. He is hell-bent on holding onto his new best friend “loneliness.” I think we are our own worst enemy and when we fall, we fall deep. We go into the trenches and it is hard to crawl back out. We tell ourselves we are not good enough as we are, opinions matter and we see ourselves as not worthy of interacting with what is out there. At times the outside world can be cruel and for someone who is struggling it can be more than daunting. What to do short of meeting with a therapist? Perhaps these few tips might help.
Join a group, exercise class or book club. There are many other options.
Do things you enjoy.
Go for a walk.
Share your feelings.
Practice self-care. Start exercising, eat nutritious foods and get enough sleep.
Love yourself warts and all.
Most of all stay busy.
If none of the above helps, here are some quotes to see life from the brighter side.
“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” Mandy Hale
“It’s impossible to be lonely when you’re zesting an orange. Scrape the soft rind once and the whole room fills with fruit. Look around: you have more than enough. Always have. You just didn’t notice until now.” Mary Oliver
I love this one.
If you are feeling lonely know that you’ll always have:
“Books to nurture your mind. Hands to create and explore. Wind to calm your soul. Breathes to soothe your nerves. Nature to soak your worries away. Stars to decorate your dreams.” Emma Xie
It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction.
It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. It’s going to cost you being liked, and understood. But it doesn’t matter. Because the people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. And you’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward.
And instead of liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of understood, you’re going to be seen. All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are. Let it go.” Brianna West
Change is never-ending. It is scary but it brings you one step closer to who or what you want to be. It moves you out of your comfort zone and at times it will feel like you are being thrown into the deep end of the pool, sink or swim is your choice. I hope you swim.
Looking back at my life and the things that have held me back, I realize much of it was tied in with stupidity and emotions I could have done without. I could have learned the lessons in a shorter period of time instead of dragging it on but I didn’t.
This thing called love could have been easier on me. I could have made it easier but I wasn’t strong enough. I was in a vulnerable state and it seemed to attract the wrong types because vulnerability is often an invitation which says, “Here I am, come break me!” I should have walked when I saw that it was a foregone conclusion and my holding on would not change the outcome. It never did. I will do better I promise myself. I will let go when I see the truth staring me in the face and walk away with my dignity intact and with my heart back where it belongs. I will let go before it drags me down to where I often find myself, right down at ground zero but the changes took a long time coming.
I am stronger today than I was yesterday. My heart still speaks the language of love but it no longer speaks stupid. This journey I am on has changed me. The weak or vulnerable one has been replaced with someone who is confident, capable and someone who knows who she is and what she wants out of life. Something inside me screams, “I am woman, hear me roar!” Scary? Well, if you’re the type of man I am accustomed to, then you should be. I am looking to be loved but with eyes open this time. Working on myself is a mindful and daily affair and when I finally step out of my comfort zone, the journey will be complete but change is a lifelong journey and it will be a never-ending one. I can handle it I tell myself because I am no longer who I used to be.
“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.” Abraham Maslow
AND
“Change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Roy T. Bennett
“Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.” Unknown
Yesterday, I got an unexpected message from a friend I hadn’t seen or heard from in a long while.
It said: “Hi T, checking on you, you doing ok?”
I replied I had hurt my knee and he said, “Cut back on the workouts! Wrap it up or put a band on it.”
We talked about meeting up when the weather turned and got better. It was short and sweet but “friends” are just that. They show up when least expected and they show concern and caring for your well-being.
“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” Eleanor Roosevelt.
There are many types of friendships. However, to call someone a friend, “the relationship must be long-lasting, it must be positive, and it must involve cooperation.” The deepest type of friendship is “one in which we feel seen and loved for exactly who we are,” and the lowest form is the user-based type. “It is the kind that is based on selfishness and instability” and it is all take but when there is no more giving to be had, it unravels and disappears.
I choose who my friends are carefully, therefore, I don’t have a huge friendship circle. I have acquaintances who I meet infrequently but I don’t let them into my heart, only a few make it there. Fair weather friends they are aplenty and there are those who profess to love you but when you need a shoulder to lean on, they are nowhere to be seen.
“When friendships are real, they are not glass threads or frost work, but the solidest things we can know.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Choose your friends carefully or who you call or give the label of “friend” to. Friends matter but keep in mind that quality is better than quantity. Give your true friends the loving and caring they deserve and keep them close to your heart because sometimes they take the place of family and that is saying a whole lot.
“Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it’s good just knowing they’re there.” Unknown
I’ll finish by saying, “Thank you, you made my day,” to the friend who called out of the blue. Yes, I’ll cut back on the workouts and I’ll remember I’m not a spring chicken anymore but my body still thinks I am!
Love is elusive, it has been said. It is hard to pin down said another. Sometimes it hides in plain sight but it is the one thing that we can’t live without says the heart. Sure, we can pretend that it doesn’t matter if we have love or not and convince ourselves that it is absolutely alright but in those moments when all is quiet and you’re left looking up at the night sky all lit up with a million stars, that is when your heart reminds you that there is more to life than standing here all alone surrounded by such beauty. It is at those moments that your heart yearns for something more, someone to hold, someone to share hugs and kisses with and that one special someone who will finally complete you.
“It’s impossible,” said pride.
“It’s risky,” said experience.
“It’s pointless,” said reason.
“Give it a try,” whispered the heart. Unknown.
Giving it a try is easy. Taking the risk, we’ve all tried that. Impossible and pointless? I don’t know about that but I’m on the search for love, true love. Not the “whishy washy” variety that disguises itself as love but in reality is far from it. This kind of love has the potential to break your heart in two or more pieces if given the chance but I’m looking for the type that can weather any storm. However, I have the tendency to jump in with both feet where love is concerned but I am learning as I go along. The solution could be that we need to stop doing this below.
“Stop planting flowers in peoples yards who aren’t going to water them.” Hylyrikz.com
How many times have we done that? Plenty of times? I know I’ve done that many times over knowing full well that I was stepping on dangerous ground. Yet, I kept on doing it saying, “It has potential, it could be what I’ve been looking for.” And what is that?” you might ask. Is it someone who treats you like you are ordinary? You deserve much more and I deserve much more than that. Ordinary is not my thing, has never been and will never be my thing. If someone you love treats you as “ordinary” it is time to move on and look for that someone who shows you that you are “extraordinary.”
“If he misses you, he’ll call.
If he wants you, he’ll say it.
If he cares, he’ll show it.
And if not, he can’t be worth your time.” Unknown.
This quote says it all. The journey to finding love is hard enough but if you have someone who doesn’t show you all of the above, it is time to move on. Love is not about you chasing someone with no reciprocation in return. It is the meeting of minds and of hearts but it is so much more than that. The caring will show if the love is there. Pay attention to what is shown because it will show you the reality of the situation. Which brings me to the last part.
“Never apologize for trusting your intuition – your brain can play tricks, your heart can blind, but your gut is always right.” Rachel Wolchin
Listen to your gut, we’ve heard that often enough right? How often have we turned our backs on it? I know I have more times than I can count on the fingers of one hand. It was my way of turning a blind eye when the truth was staring me in the face. I’ve walked down paths I should not have and at times the pain was unbearable but I had only myself to blame. Pay attention to that gut feeling, it only has your best interest at heart.
The path I am on is scary, the unknown always is but armed with what I have learned from 2024, I am confident that I am headed in the right direction. I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, take a couple of deep breaths and keep on moving. If I stumble along the way and fall which I know I will, it is alright. I will gather up yet another lesson learned and keep moving to the finish line. The end goal is finding love, the kind that will last a lifetime not just for the here and now. When I do find that elusive someone it will not be about completing me but more about adding to who I am and making me feel absolutely extraordinary!
I’m embracing humor with open arms these days. Jokes, stand-up comedy and anything that tickles the funny bone is all par for the course and believe me it brings joy into my life and a lighter outlook on life. Here are a few more jokes to bring a wholehearted laugh or even a smile to your face.
A Women’s Perfect Breakfast
She’s sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
*********************************************
WIFE vs. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically. ‘Relatives of yours?’
‘Yep,’ the wife replied, ‘in-laws.’
Smart wife and the husband is on the back of the milk carton by the way!
A guy dies and having been far from perfect in life, finds himself in hell. The devil greets him and says he’ll have to pick from one of three rooms.
He looks in the first room and he sees people screaming in pain as they burn in a massive fire.
He looks in the second room and he sees people being violently torn to shreds by a giant, raging gorilla.
He looks in the third room and there are people sitting in vats of s**t all the way to their neck but they are also drinking coffee. He thinks sitting in s**t is not that great but at least you get coffee. He chooses Room #3. He gets into the vat and he gets his cup of coffee. He takes a sip and thinks, not bad at all. Then the supervisor blows a whistle and says, “OK everyone, break is over. Back on your heads!”
This world for as much as it is beautiful is still a cruel place. Evil lurks and strikes when you least expect it. However, the kind of evil I am going to talk about here is not the kind that can hurt you physically but the one that has the power to go deeper, much deeper.
“A dagger of words can pierce the heart more deeply than any weapon.” Unknown
We’ve heard this adage before, some of us many times over. ”Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” How often have we taken this one to heart and agreed wholeheartedly that words don’t have the potential to hurt simply because someone had the audacity to throw some unsavory words our way? Words will never hurt you? It doesn’t quite work that way does it? Words have the potential to hurt even more than sticks and stones. They have the power to cut you like a knife, they have the ability to hurt like hell, they can humiliate and maim you to the point that your world comes to a standstill.
Words have power. The good ones can lift you up but the bad ones can bring you to your knees. Labels such as, moron, imbecile, idiot or others of a more sinister nature DO HURT. They can also have an impact on a more deeper psychological level.
So choose your words carefully as you go out into the world today. What you put out there matters so let’s go out and make this world a better place, one word at a time!
Here are some of my favorite quotes that speak to the power of words.
“Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime.” Rachel Wolchin
“Words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose yours well.” Robin Sharma
And finally this,
“Words are powerful, they have the ability to create a moment and the strength to destroy it.” Joyce Meyer
Choose your words carefully for they have the power to hurt and much worse than sticks and stones. Whoever said, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” didn’t know what they were talking about!
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