life – Page 26 – Site Title

My Definition of Romantic

There are grand gestures and then there are smaller gestures. Grand gestures are dinners in a nice restaurant complete with flowers and a walk somewhere nice. I go for the other variety. Flowers are nice and I love them but the romantic gesture that captures my heart is a walk by the beach, the sky above emblazoned with a thousand stars, the scent of the ocean and the sound of the waves, add to that a touch of the hand, a glance in my direction that speaks more than words can say followed by a moonlit kiss, soft and gentle. This would be my perfect definition of a romantic or a romance-filled evening.

Last year, I was seeing someone. It was a long distance relationship but he would drive the three hours to spend the weekend here. He would bring flowers and we would go out to a nice dinner or take a walk in another village and just let the evening develop. The thing I liked best was that we could sit out back for hours on end, watch the stars come out without saying a word. Once or twice, he would reach out and just hold my hand or give me a kiss on the cheek. Nothing spectacular but it did make my heart skip a beat. What happened to him? That’s another story. Time spent together was enjoyable and at times it felt like home. That too is my definition of a romantic.

I don’t think I’m a romantic but I do love a guy going out of his way to show that he cares. The friend who passed away was a pure romantic. He ran the gamut and nothing was left to chance. Flowers, expensive gifts, dinners, you name it, he was into it. I knew without a doubt that the guy was full-on in. Others are more subtle but still it’s the caring that counts and the little gestures that make up a true romantic.

Daily writing prompt

What’s your definition of romantic?

View all responses

HEATWAVE!

“Dear weather, stop showing off….we know you’re HOT!!!”

The news reads, “Europe swelters under severe heatwave as temperatures soar above 40 degrees Celsius” No kidding! It is HOT and there is no reprieve.

According to a 2024 report by the EU’s Corpernicus Climate Change Service, “Europe is the continent with the fastest-rising temperatures on Earth, having warmed twice as fast as the global average since the 1980s.” This is alarming folks.

Some love it hot and some don’t. My friend, the diver and diving instructor, loves it. I complained that it was too hot yesterday and he said, “At least, it’s not humid.” Hmm…..”humidity” was wearing bells and singing Hallelujah in my bedroom! Just goes to show that some like it HOT and some don’t.

I have a beautiful garden but not because I put a lot of work into it. I had a Polish gardener who did a fantastic job of keeping the weeds at bay and the flowers in bloom. Last year, he had a back problem and went back to Poland. Now, I have a Chilean guy who helps out now and then. I had him scheduled for today but decided it was too hot to be sweltering it out in the garden so called to cancel. His response, “No problem, I LOVE HOT WEATHER!” Like I said, some like it HOT and some don’t.

Chachi, the cat, is like his mom. He hates hot weather. The fur coat doesn’t make it any better either. He walked up to me looking absolutely miserable.

“Mom, we need to talk about this fur coat. Can I go skimpier?”

ME: “Sorry love, you’re stuck with it. Mommy will make it better.”

So, I’ve been wetting a towel in cold water and running it over his fur and that seems to help for now.

Today, the temps will be reaching new highs.

“My skin is sticking, my brain is frying, and I haven’t stopped sweating since I got out of bed.” Unknown

AND

“The heat index is between OMG and WTF!” Unknown

You get the picture.

Have an amazing day.

This Little Light (Archives)

HE’S STILL MY LITTLE LOVE!

Waking up this morning I could hear the sound of rain on the rooftops and it sounded soothing to my ears. As I stretched in bed, I felt a warmth at my side. Then I heard soft purring and a pair of green eyes looking up at me. As our eyes touched, my little love let out a sound which sounded almost like a purr. Chachi was in his wide-awake mode and happy with the world and so was I, for the moment at least.

I whisper, “Good morning baby,” and pull him closer to me. The purring picks up in intensity and has a rhythm all its own. His fur feels soft and cuddly warm and the sideways glance he throws in my direction says more than words can say and melts my heart. Chachi walked into my life almost seven years ago and found his niche by my side and he is here to stay.

How did it happen? I don’t know. Pets have a way of doing that and the light they bring is irreplaceable. I call him my shadow. Lately, he has taken to keeping pace with me. If I’m in the kitchen, he’s there watching my every move. If I’m in the cellar, he’s right there stretched out on the floor and pretending like he’s minding his own business but in reality minding mine. Most days, I talk to him about my day and he yawns not out of boredom but more like, “Tell me more.” At least, I hope that’s what it is. When I leave the house, he stares and I can tell that this part is not the favourite part of the day for him. I kiss his forehead telling him to be a good boy and when I walk back in, he greets me with a happy dance.

Some days when I’m sad, I hold him close and my heart takes off soaring. When I need cheering up, he walks up to me with his tattered beyond repair toy bird in his mouth and throws it at my feet waiting for the “Good Boy!” pat on his forehead. Most days, we are each other’s best buddy. Lately, we’ve got a new routine, a workout routine that is. Once I start the music and start moving, he walks in and joins in. Sometimes he tries to climb up one leg. The goal is to get as many kisses as possible, who cares about working out! After he has had enough, he climbs on the bed and watches me till I finish.

“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” Sigmund Freud

The light I speak of is the unspoken bond between us. A beautiful iridescent light that glows with love, respect and lots of cuddling. Of course, cats have their own way of showing love but it is love nonetheless. Instead of giving me a kiss on the mouth or on the nose, he brushes past and heads for the forehead and there he plants one right in the middle. A kiss so light and airy that my breath catches in my throat and a sigh escapes softly from my being. A lover couldn’t have done any better. We don’t speak the same language but we share a universal one, the language of love. The day is filled with tiny interludes of this nature and often it makes me feel like I’m dancing and twirling on my toes. Often I mumble, “Houston, I think we have a problem. I’m in love!”

I am thankful for this four-legged fur ball of a being who walked into my life and has taken permanent residency there and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.” Charles Dickens

Have an amazing day.

The Lazy Hazy Days of Summer!

It has been HOT, it has been sticky and the heat has been unbearable. Sweating it out is not a pleasurable experience and going without air-conditioning is not my kind of a nice summer day either!

Europeans do not believe in air-conditioning. “Less than 20% of European homes have air-conditioning, compared to 90% in the US.” This is due to environmental concerns such as energy consumption and green house gas emissions. Add “no deo” to that, and you’ve got a hot sweltering mess!

My energy levels have tanked and I’ve been doing what Chachi, the cat, has been doing. Staying quiet in a cool spot indoors. Add lots of hydration and it is bearable. Walking is out of the question for now and that hasn’t set too well either. It’s just too humid and the “stickiness” that ensues from being out there has kept me indoors for the time-being. I’m like a grumpy bear looking for some relief!

I’ve upped showers to twice a day and some days I want to stay there for a while. A friend told me, “Do what Europeans do when it’s hot.” It seems they go naked and let it all hang out! Not a pretty picture considering most of the people in this village are older people and going without clothes, well, you get the picture! I recall the first time I saw my in-laws in their “bare nothings!” It was a traumatic experience, well not quite, one I don’t want repeated again!

Summer is here and it plans to stay for a while. I’ll just have to put up with it and do the best I can.

One good thing about summer is this:

“Some of the best memories are made in FLIP-FLOPS!” Unknown

I’ve got them on and my feet are smiling even if the rest of me isn’t!

Have an amazing day.

Brene Brown

Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.com

She is the author of six #1 New York Times bestsellers and is the host of two award-winning podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead. The lady has spent two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy. Her advice for life is, “Don’t let fear stop you.” Here are some of her quotes that will take you on a journey of self-discovery. Enjoy.

“Authencity is not something we have or don’t have. It’s a practice – a conscious choice of how we want to live.”

“Trust is not built in big, sweeping moments. It’s built in tiny moments every day.”

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

“The truth is that falling hurts. The dare is to keep being brave and feel your way back up.”

“Here’s what I think integrity is: It’s choosing courage over comfort, choosing what’s right over what’s fun, fast, or easy, and practicing your values.”

“Empathy has no script. There is not a right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of, “You’re not alone.”

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

“When we have the courage to walk into our story and own it, we get to write the ending.”

AND

“At the end of day, at the end of the week, at the end of my life, I want to say that I contributed more than I criticized.”

Have an amazing day.

RUMI (Archives)

Jalal al-Din Rumi was a 13th century poet. He was born in Afghanistan and he was a Sufi mystic whose poetry embraces themes of “overcoming fear and persevering through challenges.” He speaks of finding strength in vulnerability and to be grateful for whatever comes. I find courage and beauty in his words and it touches my soul AND his words are one of great wisdom.

“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”

I do act small when first faced with adversity but it is only a matter of time before I rise again knowing that I can deal with this too.

“I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.”

This one speaks to who I am, I am one with nature and I find freedom with the animals and the bird life and often I want to sing like I used to as a young child not caring who listens or who is watching. I do that with my writing too.

“If everything around you seems dark, look again, you may be the LIGHT.”

Simply beautiful and when darkness surrounds seeing the light in you doesn’t seem like a bad thing to me.

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

This one tugged at my heart when I first saw it. My first thought, I don’t feel the light but he is speaking of another kind of light, the kind that teaches and heals.

“The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.”

Moving on requires acceptance and that is precisely the point here. Done that many times over.

“When you go through a hard period, when everything seems to oppose you, when you feel you cannot even bear one more minute, NEVER GIVE UP! Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!”

I guess you have to hit ground zero before life turns around. Can we make it a little easier please?

“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”

This one makes grieving a little less painful, at least it did for me.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

This last one is so poetic. Yes I wanted to change the world, I still do but nowadays it is more about changing “me” first.

Have an amazing day.

Self-Care Practice

It is at the top of my list as far as well-being goes. I do take care of myself and I have certain rituals that I do daily and sometimes weekly to get me back on track. It is not being vain as some may think, it is necessary to take care of yourself because no one else is going to.

I had an ex who referenced my self-care practices as nonsense. I didn’t need to put in that much effort into putting my best foot forward was what he said. I’m glad I didn’t listen to him! He is nowhere in the picture and I’m glad that my self-care practices still exist and are doing just fine.

My daily self-care practice is to pay careful attention to stress. It is a killer and I learned it the hard way when I accompanied a friend through the last stages of his life. I was always healthy but during that period, I started experiencing pain, health issues and other symptoms that I couldn’t explain. A consultation with a doctor revealed that I was under extreme stress. Her advice was to step back and take care of myself first. I couldn’t at the time but when it was all over, stress reduction became a priority. I do walks, deep breathing techniques, meditation, workouts and of course eating right. Just a few of the things in my self-care routine. However, on weekends I pay careful attention to my hair. I have long hair and it needs work to keep it healthy and shiny. Masks are a must, oil treatments sometimes and just some tender loving care. My skin gets the same on Sundays. Facials, scrubs and masks are a must to keep it glowing. It takes time but it is worth it.

Self-care and taking time out for yourself is needed to keep your health at its optimum best. Some may say it is all about vanity but I disagree. I’ve been doing these rituals since I was 18 and I’m not about to stop now.

I matter, my health matters and now, I take care of myself first before I put myself out there and let whatever it is to take a toll on me. It boils down to self-preservation and it is important in my book.

Daily writing prompt

How do you practice self-care?

View all responses

Settling for Less

“Never settle for less than you desire or deserve because when you accept crumbs people will assume that you will be happy with scraps.” @StacyBranche

Women do this more than men do. Perhaps it’s because we want to feel wanted at any cost and even if that person isn’t who we want, we see it, we feel it deep within and we know that he isn’t the right one, but when “settling” walks in we accept what we normally wouldn’t only to find ourselves in an unhappy relationship.

“If you put someone at the top of your priority list and they put you at the bottom of theirs, maybe it’s time to get out the eraser.” Susan Gale

I love this quote from Susan Gale. That eraser doesn’t see the light of day because we’re so busy making sure that the person who takes us for granted and always puts us at the bottom of their list gets treated like royalty.

Settling for less is defined as, “accepting something or someone that is below your desired or expected standard.” It also equates to staying with a partner who doesn’t fully meet your needs or with whom you’re not truly happy.” Knowing that, why are we so quick at wanting to settle for less?

Some reasons, according to experts, is that we are afraid of being alone, low self-esteem and consistently making concessions, where one partner concedes and accepts while the other doesn’t reciprocate or meet their needs.

When you settle for less you’ll find yourself in a backburner relationship which means, “they’ll keep you around their orbits because they want to be with you – but at their convenience.” They’ll come up with excuses such as, “I’m not ready for commitment yet,” or “they’re working on themselves,” and the classic which goes like this. “Just not now.” That’s where this next quote fits in perfectly.

“Don’t settle. Either they will wake up to the fact that you are worth more…… or you will.” Charles J. Orlando

Know that you’re worth so much more than what you’re willing to settle for. If he’s a loser, let him go. If he’s a procrastinator, definitely let him go and if he’s an a**, run and don’t look back! You deserve better and definitely don’t make yourself into a mouse because the cat will eat you!

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” Nelson Mandela

Aim high and reach for the stars because YOU deserve only the best. You belong in the winner’s circle so act like you’re already there and show the losers the door with no hesitation whatsoever. Something better is on the way.

“Sometimes the hardest part of being a great catch is accepting not everyone’s hands are strong enough to hold you.” Unknown

Keep that in mind and have an amazing day.

Morgan Harper Nichols

Morgan Harper Nichols was born in Hamilton, New Zealand. She is an American Christian musician, songwriter and poet. Her quotes, however, are poignant and it is about finding beauty in the ordinary, embracing imperfection and growth tinged with resilience and hope. Here is a sampling of her brilliant work. Her words speak to the heart and has the ability to light up your day. Enjoy.

“and perhaps what made her beautiful was not her appearance or what she achieved, but in her love and in her courage, and her audacity to believe: no matter the darkness around her, light ran wild within her, and that was the way she came alive, and it showed up in everything.”

“And if everything does not fall into place at the same time and pace, that does not mean that the years you’ve waited have somehow been a waste. Keep planting, sowing, living, and knowing that beautiful things take time, and that’s okay.”

“Take photographs of everything. You never know how long these moments will be here. Things are going to change.”

“Even in the moments when you feel directionless, you can still find the courage to take another step.”

“Words matter so speak kind words to yourself.”

“Perhaps, even here, I am growing. When the days are long, and I do not feel as strong, and when the hours go by slower than they ever have before, and the sun is shining, and I am lost indoor, perhaps even here, I am growing.”

“Never let anyone who cannot bear your pain make you feel you are unbearable.”

“Tell the story of the mountains you’ve climbed. Your words could become a part of someone else’s survival guide.”

AND

“When you start to feel like things should have been better this year, remember the mountain and valleys that got you here.”

Have an amazing day.

Anxiety

According to Wikipedia, it is defined as “an emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil and includes feelings of dread over anticipated events.”

Panic attacks, on the other hand, “are sudden periods of intense fear and discomfort that may include palpitations, otherwise defined as a rapid, irregular heartbeat, sweating, chest pain or discomfort, shortness of breath, trembling, dizziness, numbness, confusion, or a sense of impending doom or loss of control.”

These are not very nice emotions but I’m sure that you’ve experienced them at some point in your life and in my case, “anxiety” visits more often than I want it to. Not to a crippling degree but when it does, I want it to leave like an unwanted visitor who is not welcomed to stay.

According to verywellmind.com, there is a simple technique to take the power away from anxiety. They call it the 333 rule. This rule is said to be a gamechanger on how to manage anxiety.

Notice three things you can see around you. Observe the objects carefully. Note the details, colors, and shapes. This process helps to shift your focus from internal anxiety to your external environment.

Listen closely. Identify three sounds you can hear. They could be loud or subtle sounds and concentrate on them. This also takes your focus away from the internal turmoil and puts it on something else.

Move three parts of your body. Roll your shoulders, wiggle your toes or just turn your head. Pay attention to the sensations caused by each movement.

Repeat all three as many times as necessary until you feel calm and collected.

If that fails, then here are some quotes to get you on the way.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Anne Lamott

I love this one. Unplugging in my case means going within to a place of quiet. Meditation is my go to method and breathing techniques are another way of quieting the mind and to let nirvana reign.

“Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.” Jodi Picoult

True. You’ve got to move meaning you’ve got to do the work to get rid of anxiety. You can choose to sit still and “rock” but staying still in one spot is not going to do it. Anxiety needs action.

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” Mandy Hale

Taking a breath and letting go has worked but not always. The “see what happens” part scares me but it’s worth a try.

“Living with anxiety is like being followed by a voice. It knows all your insecurities and uses them against you. It gets to the point when it’s the loudest voice in the room –it’s the only one you hear.” Unknown

Shut it down, make room for the stillness to come in and take a step in the right direction, one step at a time. If all else fails, put an “out of order sign on your forehead” and retreat. Let anxiety go through you. It’ll find its way out in a little while, it always does.

LET GO OF CONTROL AND KNOW THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.

Have an amazing day.