life – Page 27 – Site Title

The Staycation

I don’t do vacations anymore. Packing up and going somewhere only to unpack and do the “vacation thing” is for the birds but that’s how I feel.

I hate leaving what is comfortable and heading to places unknown. It is a thing of the past for me. This year, I decided to do it my way. I took a week off and decided to do a staycation the “recluse” way.

Walks in nature, getting up whenever and letting life take care of itself for a while was the plan. It started out well enough BUT on the first day, I woke up earlier than usual. Bah humbug! Tomorrow is another day, I told myself. I still had six more days to go.

At least, I had the facial appointment to look forward to. It went just fine and I came out glowing or rather a little oilier than expected. The cosmetician said it was a new method of getting your skin to look its optimal best. I was thinking, it should after all the different creams that were mixed and shot into my skin! “Don’t worry if it looks a little oily, it’ll calm down after a few days,” she said.

I nixed the breakfast alone at the cafe idea. I was looking like a pin cushion that had had more pins stuck in it than ever! My pores had been cleaned out, vacuumed out and smoothed out! Oh God! Exactly my thoughts. Anyway, this vacation thing did not start out with a bang but then again, it wasn’t supposed to. Let’s pick up the pace a little bit.

On Day 3, I decided to get myself out. I was supposed to meet a friend for coffee and breakfast and do some catching up. I showed up early and found a comfortable seat by the window. Sipping on a cup of coffee, I noticed the friend walk in. I smiled but it froze in place instantly. Next to him was a total stranger. He was about 6’2″ tall, slim with dark wavy hair, wore glasses which added to the distinguished look and a great smile to boot. It has been said that a recluse is someone who is anti-s0cial and loves doing things alone so “alone” time is good, once in a while meeting someone is good but adding to the equation is a NO! NO! Anyway, we got introduced and the conversation took off. Maybe, I was nervous or just P I S S E D, but the conversation was flowing non-stop. It was the same way with him and we were like two chickens cackling away! The fifth-wheel, my friend had a disgruntled look on his face but it was well-deserved for showing up with an unannounced stranger!

So, what happened? A future date perhaps? Nope, it doesn’t work that way with me. I’m a hard egg to crack. After two hours, I had had enough of socializing and got out of there fast. This vacation thing wasn’t working out the way I wanted it too.

Days 4, 5, & 6 were spent getting on Chachi, the cat’s nerves. I decided to do the cleaning bit and Little Einstein wanted to keep an eye on everything. He wore himself out. I took one walk in nature but the rest of the days were spent indoors because the rain had moved in and decided to keep me company.

Workouts, meditation, cheesecake and lots of coffee and tea kept my mood on an even keel. I don’t know about vacationing at home guys. It was okay but it is what I’m used to on a daily basis, nothing different. Still, I would rather do this than the other variety which involves packing, heading out, eating, eating, eating followed by lots of stress. What about Day 7? I was climbing walls by then and it was time to come back to reality.

I’ll take “staycation” anyday!

Most Money Ever Spent on a Meal

Here’s another question and nothing comes to mind! I don’t think I’ve ever spent a lot on a meal when I had to pay for it on my own. Mostly, it has been just simple meals and nothing much to speak of.

However, there was one time when I was invited out for dinner and the cost blew my mind. He was a Qantas Airways pilot, who lived in Australia but was used to flying in and out of Asia and he invited me out to dinner. I was thinking it would be a simple restaurant so nothing spectacular. I was wrong.

The restaurant was high up somewhere in the clouds, on the 70th floor, and a revolving one at that. We were met at the entrance by a Russian soldier dressed in medieval gear. He looked menacing. We had to wait at the bar to be seated. When we finally got our table, it had a beautiful view of the city and it was lit up like a Christmas tree. The scenery kept changing and that was more than interesting. First course, was a big plate of oysters on ice with black caviar and sliced boiled eggs. I had never had oysters or caviar before. The oysters looked unappetizing but he insisted I try one. I did and it was not to my liking.

They made a big display of opening the wine bottle and since I don’t drink, it was nothing for me either. Then the main course came. It was steak in a sumptuous sauce. I don’t recall what else came with it because the steak was melt in your mouth and blew everything else away. What came next? Dessert I think. but I’m not sure. Everything was perfect but nothing was lined with gold or anything like that to warrant what came next.

The bill was a whopping $350 dollars!

I think that was the most expensive meal I had ever been invited to and the fact that he thought I was worth it was mind-blowing as well.

Daily writing prompt

What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on a meal? Was it worth it?

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This Thing Called Love (2)

Archives

Stage 1: Falling in Love

“In the first stage of love, your hormones run the show. You flirt, get butterflies in your stomach and heart, toss your hair back often and laugh a lot more. Falling in love makes you glow. Full playfulness and passion, stage one of love, often called the honeymoon stage tends to be everyone’s favorite because it is fun.“

This is how Stage 1 looks like. You can talk for hours on the phone and it never gets old. There is lots of laughing and giggling and you have your rose-tinted glasses on. If there is a blemish the size of a rock on your face, it is invisible at this stage or airbrushed by the blossoming of something special. Time flies by on wings and it is never ever enough. You want more and even though red flags may crop up like a neon sign, you SEE and don’t want to see. It is also the stage of stupidity where your brain and intuition take a backseat and your heart takes over.

Stage 2: Getting Serious

“Enter stage two. You still make a good couple. You hold hands in the park and cuddle up together to watch a movie, but something has changed. You’ve moved in together, maybe even got married. That fun time has run its course and your relationship has entered the serious zone.“

You may have moved in together or maybe not. It could be headed in a more serious direction where the “M” word is bandied about. That rose-tinted glow is there but now grey is starting to seep in. You question his/her motives. When once that laugh was alluring, it now makes you grit your teeth. You see things you don’t like. Things like he doesn’t keep to his word or you’ve caught him in a lie or two. Little things like leaving the toilet seat up and leaving clothes all over the floor gets your goat. The glow is still there so it’s time to push it all under the rug. You say, “It’ll right itself out. After all, you’re not looking for perfect.” The serious zone is staring you in the face and you don’t want to rock the boat. Let sleeping dogs lie you say but you know that it could come back to bite you later.

Stage 3: What Happened?

“What happened? Did you fall out of love? By this point, all illusions have been stripped away. You find yourself arguing more. Romance seems like work and you can’t be bothered to squeeze in the time. You just want it to end. And most people do just that, end their relationship.“

This is the “make it” or “break it” phase. It is also the time to let it all hang out phase. Remember that in Stage 1 all was perfect or at least it seemed so. Nothing was out of place, not a hair, not a fake eyelash, perfect haircut, smelling good and NO inappropriate behavior. Now, it’s let it rip time and HOW! If you’re married, who cares is the attitude. Everything is allowed and I mean everything. He’s seen you many times over so why bother? Unkempt hair, less than perfect hygiene, let it all grow out if you know what I mean. He, in turn, lets it rip. Holding it in is no longer required, anywhere anytime is ok. One other thing I find fascinating is that men love talking to you when they are sitting on the throne! Something soothing perhaps? That smile is no longer alluring, those little quirks more than annoying and spending a few minutes talking equates to an hour and a half in your mind. I call this the end of time phase. It’s probably all downhill from here and most choose to end the relationship.

According to one source, there are five clear stages. They are honeymoon, uncertainty, adjustment, commitment and acceptance. I’ve chosen to speak about three because not many make it past the adjustment phase. If you do, you’re one of the lucky ones. However, the fourth and fifth phase are hard to navigate. Most are either miserable wanting to get out or they’ve accepted their fate and are playing dead until their time is up!

I haven’t given up hope that I will make it to the last phase with a smile on my face and the right man by my side. I’m still working on finding him. Unfortunately, he seems to have lost his way and is nowhere to be found and TIME is running out! Fairy Godmother some help please! I could use your wand right about now!

Have an amazing day.

A Habit That Brings Joy

It’s no secret. There are many things that bring me joy on a daily basis but the one thing that remains constant is the joy I get from Chachi, the cat.

Little Einstein does the impossible. On days when I’m down in the dumps or feeling a little lost, it is the little furball that brings me back up and helps me to see life as half full versus half empty. All it takes is his cross-legged stance with that inquisitive look on his face to put a smile on my face or it is that rubbing up against my leg for attention or even doing the workouts with me. He is more of a hindrance there but who cares. It automatically puts a smile on my face and sometimes a roar of laughter follows watching him as he tries to distract me from what I’m doing.

The little Meister is an expert at showing me who his favorite person is. He winks when he catches me looking at him and in cat language it means either they love you or are just mighty pleased to have you in their life. Add his love- filled glances and he takes me soaring. One habit that I absolutely love is cuddling at bedtime. I love listening to him take off to dreamland and the soft purring of contentment is music to my ears. Now, it’s not going to do the same for the guy who comes in, of this I’m sure. What guy? He’s not there yet but when he does show up, I’m not holding my breath, but when he does we’ll work on that problem together.

Until then Chachi, the cat, or rather Little Einstein is king and master and he knows it. He is one habit that brings me joy and I can do forever! Yes, I’m a goner where that little guy is concerned. Most importantly, he brings me joy of the best kind.

Daily writing prompt

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

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This Thing Called Love (1)

(Archives)

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By now, you know that most of my posts center around this thing called love. It’s because I have my fact-finding shoes on and I want to find out what it is all about.

It is elusive, that’s for sure. It morphs and never stays the same, that’s another aspect. It shows up when you least expect it and it doesn’t stay for long. It is loving and all-consuming but when things go south, it takes off on winged feet. This is my experience as far as love is concerned.

Poor me? Not really. It is daunting this task of finding “real love” but my curiosity is aroused and I’m not going to settle for anything less than the real kind. Curiosity killed the cat, you say? Well, Chachi, the cat, is doing pretty well in that respect and he’s wearing the Einstein hat now!

Someone said to me it is not about ego or attitude yesterday. I totally agree. However, it is not about accepting everyone who walks in the door and placing the “love tag” on them either. That’s a surefire way to disaster. One person called me complicated, well, more than one but who’s counting! Complicated in this case means I’m not willing to accept what is offered. It’s more like the caveman variety. “Here I am woman take me! I like you so no more wasting time and no more discussion. Let’s get down to business!” Nope, that won’t work. I am too emancipated for that BS! Call me complicated all you want but you’re out the door!

I live in a small village that time forgot. The marriages here last a very long time. Have they found the secret to a long and happy love life? Not really. It is based on convenience. Its more like, “I provide and you pander.” Get the picture? These marriages last for a very long time but they are miserable together. One prime example was my in-laws. They were married for decades and they boasted about the longevity of their relationship, however, fights were a part of their daily existence. When he died, she mourned his loss. I wondered if she was mourning the loss of the person or what she was accustomed to, that of nagging and bickering all day long. Perhaps, it was addicting but is that real love?

Someone else said, “If you find it, hold on to it.” I definitely plan to do that. In my journey so far, I’m finding that “love” comes disguised in all its wishy-washy forms but if you want the real kind, you’ve got to take your time, know what you will settle for and what you won’t and don’t be afraid to discard if it’s not what you’re looking for. It takes courage, it takes a single-minded focus and it takes walking the road less traveled. Shut out the noise around you. The one that says, “You can’t do this,” but more specifically the one that roars, “You’ll wind up alone!” I say, “better alone than with the wrong person.”

“Unless it’s mad, passionate or extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life: Love shouldn’t be one of them.” Unknown

AND

“There is no such thing as love, you just happen to bump into someone who laughs at your jokes, likes the way you’re face is and accepts the way you look at the world. Love isn’t real, only two human beings coincidentally lonely at the same moment in time.”

What do you think? Some truth to that assumption?

Have an amazing day.

Life & Love

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These are two things I’m curious about and I wish I can get a handle on both of them. So far, it has been touch and go. Just when I think I know what life and love are all about, it goes and changes on me!

One thing I know is that life is unpredictable more so than love. You can’t count on it being the same day in and day out and there is no counting on it to remain the same. If anything, it has the ability to turn your world upside down when you least expect it and that is exactly why I’m curious about it. It almost seems like it knows what it is doing AND it also knows that we are fully capable of handling whatever it throws our way even if we think it is an impossibility or there is no way we’re going to stand back up from the latest onslaught. Looking back, I think I was ENOUGH all along but still I want it laid out in black and white as to what life is and why it is so erratic. Some say it is the nature of the beast.

Love, on the other hand, is predictable. If you are in a bad relationship, it goes without saying that it is going to end badly. I have found that when I veer off the path and go my own way, I usually wind up getting hurt. It also seems that the “chase” doesn’t always work. If I take my focus away from finding love, the right kind of love, it shows up knocking on my door. Only problem is that I still keep looking thinking there is more out there, the almost perfect person for me and that is my problem. I know what love can do, how it can take you soaring or rip you apart and leave you gasping for air, that too is predictable. I am curious about the “forever love” the kind that lasts for a lifetime. I am still looking for it. If the person will show up that is the question.

I am curious about many things but those two listed above are at the top of my list. Perhaps, I should leave it alone but when has that stopped me!

Daily writing prompt

What are you curious about?

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Some Good News

It is interesting how life throws one thing your way and combines it with another just to sweeten the pot or to say, “Look, it’s not all bad.”

I’ve written about my health issue in the last two posts and it is at the top of my mind or has me in its grip. Getting away from it is hard because I do take very good care of myself and this latest news is totally unfair but when has life been fair? If anything, it is there to teach us lessons and whether we want to learn or not doesn’t matter.

Well, I got this not so nice news from the doctor and just as I was deep diving into a roller coaster ride of emotions, I get this other news. Normally, I would be over the moon but not this time. My book, the long awaited one, will be out around end of August! I should have been very happy but mixed with the other news, it came over almost lukewarm and it didn’t have the power kick it should have had.

Anyway, the book should hit bookstores everywhere during that time. The marketing part is not to my liking. They are talking about book signings, interviews and other stuff which would require yours truly to put in an appearance and that is the part that is not appealing. I love my privacy so I am not happy about that part. What to do? Bite the bullet and do it or refuse and see the book go down in flames? Oh well, one thing at a time. The good news is I will finally have a printed copy in my hands and get to see all my hard work on display. I’ve always loved that part about writing, seeing my work in print.

Have an amazing day.

The Fear Factor

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: “Forget Everything And Run” or “Face Everything And Rise.” The choice is yours.” Zig Ziglar

This is an interesting quote. I guess it comes down to how you want to handle fear. My first option has always been the first one. I don’t know when fear walked in and decided to take a permanent place in my life but it did and stayed for a very long time. When murder walked in and took my mother’s life, I knew just how powerful “fear” was. My life as I knew it disappeared and fear and danger were everywhere. I had changed from that fearless young girl who had once roamed the woods alone to a young woman who feared anything and everyone. This was the psychological toll that the murder had on me. Another one would follow in its wake but one was enough to turn my world upside down and to put “fear” at the helm of my existence.

“Don’t be ashamed of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything.” Carlos Ruiz Zafon

It took a long time and it took lots of work to step out from the shadows of fear. However, it never fully let go of the grip it had on me. Courage, strength, grit and focus were the tools that helped me to stand back up and to face life on its own terms.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the ability to act in the presence of fear.” Bruce Lee

This latest onslaught on my psyche has been a big one. The unknown is scary and listening to the doctor drone on about tests has brought the fears back, the ones I’ve been working on to eradicate and the ones I thought I had conquered. Now, they’re staring me in the face and I want to do this. “Forget Everything and Run!” A part of me wants to give up and run but the other part, the one that has fought numerous battles and survived wants to take on this latest challenge and emerge the winner.

“Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you faced, all the battles you have won and all the fears you have overcome.”

September 4th is D-Day. The all-important test will take place and it will determine how my life will change and what comes after. Fear? Yes, it’s there, in fact it is holding my hand right now. I hate that fear is back and holding court and courage has taken a backseat. I’m hoping that the inner spark, the inner light, the warrior within will step forward and sent it packing but it is going to take some time.

“To me fearless isn’t not having fears, It’s not that you’re afraid of anything. I think that being fearless is having a lot of fears, but you jump anyway.” Taylor Swift

So, I’m jumping into the unknown with both eyes open. Whatever comes I will face it head on and I will walk with my head held high as I have in times past. This journey of self-discovery I have been on has taught me that there is incredible strength within and it shows up when you least expect it AND it has the power to overcome the unimaginable. I hope it shows up wearing bells and shows “fear” the door. I can only hope.

Have an amazing day.

Human Nature (Archives)

What is human nature? One explanation refers to “the fundamental characteristics, ways of thinking, feeling, and acting that are generally considered to be inherent to human beings.” One can say we are pre-programmed to act in a certain way when faced with certain situations but nurture and social experiences do play a part in shaping individual behaviors as to how we react to certain outside stimuli.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity and I ‘m not sure about the universe.” Albert Einstein

“It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion.” Anatole France

I totally agree with this assumption. Been there and done that many times over!

“Human nature is deeply ingrained despite our best efforts difficult to change.” Unknown

This one shines the spotlight on the problem itself. Stupidity and stubbornness sometimes or often go hand-in-hand making it a lose-lose situation.

“It’s human nature to remember only what you want to remember and forget what you want to forget, or transform it into a different story.” Unknown

We are all good storytellers so I definitely agree with the transformation part so much so to our own detriment.

“I hate it when people argue in public and I’ve missed the beginning so I don’t know whose side I’m on.” Unknown

This too is human nature.

“People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought.” Unknown

Human nature at its best?

“I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.” Unknown

ME TOO!

“Even if you give them everything that they ask for, it’ll never be enough.” Unknown

Are we talking about men here?

Finally….

THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE

“You are not a pawn in a game controlled by others; you are an active player who can move the pieces at will and even rewrite the rules.” Robert Greene

There you go. You are not stuck where you are and you have the ability to change your life. You just need to start moving in the right direction. What about human nature? Tell it to take a hike!

Have an amazing day.

Traditions

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Almost every family has them and some are wonderful and some we can do without. My family had many traditions and I had to be there whether I wanted to or not!

My parents were religious people and church on Sundays was one of those traditions. I’m not just talking about Sunday service but spending the whole day at church! Yes, it was excruciating for a young girl but I did it simply because it was a must. This is one tradition I don’t keep up with. I’m not going to put my son through it either. It’s his decision altogether and he has chosen to go the other way but I think a little religion doesn’t hurt anyone.

All the other holidays were part and parcel of our upbringing. Christmas was a big deal but I loved it and when I was married, I kept up with the tradition. Presents, lights, Christmas carols and good food were all still a part of tradition but nowadays, it is a quiet affair. No going all out, just some lights, music and a quiet time, so that has changed. Thanksgiving was another big deal. It was a time for family get-togethers, turkey and all the trimmings and lots of food! I’ve changed it to almost nothing. When the friend was there, we would have a semblance of Thanksgiving, just some good food and a quiet time together. Now that he is gone, I’m mostly on my own except for Chachi, the cat.

Traditions have changed but I guess it does when life changes. Time changes things too and circumstances complete the picture. Memories of those traditions I had with my parents still remain, they always will, because they were wonderful times except for the whole day at church bit. I could have done without those.

Daily writing prompt

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

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