life – Page 5 – Site Title

Life Happens

“I’ve learned over and over that life happens on its own terms, not mine.” Kate Walsh

Ms. Walsh is absolutely right in that respect. Life happens as it happens and most times you have no control over it whatsoever. What fun is there in having a crystal ball to show you everything before it comes knocking on your door right? Well, I for one think it might just make life a tad easier but no luck there. Life happens and you’ll just have to deal with whatever comes your way whether you want to or not.

“Life happens,” is an idiom used to express that there are things we can’t control, foresee or prepare for. The future is unknown, and anything could happen.

According to Sarah Pierson of Huffingtonpost, here are some tips on how to make life happen instead of just letting it happen to you.

Create a timeline of the things you most want to experience or accomplish. Basically have some goals and go out and get them done.

Take risks. I’m not a risk taker so this is hard for me. However, taking risks is the way to go according to Ms. Pearson. You need to get yourself out there in order to overcome the fears of facing life head-on.

Invest in people. Investing your time in people is well worth the effort it seems because the rewards are plenty. It is time well-spent, cuts back on loneliness and it gets you out there in this great big world of ours.

Learn to let go of that which you cannot control and to adapt. This is another hard one for me. Letting go has never been my forte and adapting, well, that’s right up there with one of the hardest things to do! I am willing to give it a go.

Seek advice from those who are living life fully. This is a good one. Learning by example is never a bad idea.

Travel

Learn not to compare. If you’re always comparing yourself to someone who has more than you, who looks better than you or someone who just seems to have it altogether, you’ll never get a handle on your own life because you’ll always be hoping and wishing instead of bringing the focus back to you and that is where it needs to be to move forward.

“Be available for life to happen.” Bill Murray

In order for life to happen, you’ve got to start making life happen. If it’s a job you want, make a plan. It’s not going to fall into your lap, you’ve got to move to make it happen. Read up on the best interview strategies. Find out how you can hone your skills to come across as the best candidate for the job. Spruce up your appearance, those old ratty pair of jeans and seen better days t-shirts will have to go. Invest in some good clothes. It matters. Finding a job in this fast-paced and dog eat dog world is never easy and daunting to say the least but with hard work, dedication and effort, you can land the job of your dreams. Never give up and you are almost a winner!

If it’s a relationship you want, get rid of the no gooders. Period. If they don’t contribute to your life, get rid of them. If you’re looking for that perfect someone, it starts with you. Do your homework and find out what it is that you want. There is no such thing as ‘perfect’ but you’ll get pretty close if you’re willing to settle for mutual respect, love and honesty. The rest will fall in place.

If it’s happiness you’re looking for, you’ll have to do the work here as well. Nothing is ever handed to you on a silver platter. Know what makes YOU happy and go out and find it. Easier said than done? Well, yes but there is no other way unfortunately.

“Life happens to all of us. It’s not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us that really decides if we’re going to be victims or if we’re going to get and have everything we’ve ever dreamed of.” Eric Thomas

Finally, get to know yourself. Spend time with yourself to find out what it is that you want. If it’s one or all of the things mentioned above but you don’t know where to start, have no fear because you are fully capable of figuring it out. You know what makes you tick, what makes you happy so don’t just let life happen, make it happen the way you want it. If it scares you, you’re not alone. Join the club!

“No matter what happens, you can get through the day. Inhale. Focus on the word, ‘relax.’ Exhale. Say, ‘I can do this! And then do it.” Ace Antonio Hall

Have an amazing Sunday.

The Last Cry?

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We got dumped on last night and about 10 inches of snow came down! This morning, it was a winter wonderland with the trees wearing white heavily laden with snow. The bamboo tree in my neighbor’s garden is showing just how resilient it is. Come heavy rain, winds, or snow, it bends and moves and sometimes lies dormant until the storm has passed and then stands back up none the worse for wear. We should take some lessons from that.

Luckily I’ve got good neighbors. I was up at 6 and I heard some noise outside. Looking outside, I noticed a lady bundled up with a big snow shovel in hand, hard at work. She not only cleared up her front walkway but went on to clear up mine as well! However, within minutes the snow had done its job of filling up the clear spaces again. Bah humbug! This meant that I would have to bundle up from head to toe and clear it up again. After breakfast, I told myself.

A few minutes later, I heard noises again. Looking outside, I saw another neighbor doing the same thing. He was clearing up the walkway again. This time I told myself, “Maybe I’ll get lucky and I won’t have to go outside.” No such luck! Snow is and was coming down and in big flakes. It seems to be having fun showing us that it is going to stay for awhile. Anyway, I bundled up and went outside. My front steps were covered in snow so that was the first thing I needed to do. After that, I took my small broom and tried clearing the snow. It is no match for those big snow shovels! It did a weak job of clearing the snow away. I decided to bring the big guns in, my supply of salt. Surely, it will do the job of melting the snow? Well, it did only to be covered by the gleeful snow which was now having more “fun” than expected! I gave up.

Back indoors, I looked at the weather forecast and it is predicting snow all day. Let’s add more fuel to the fire, why don’t we. Tomorrow we will have 15 minus here and that is going to be COLD which means the temps will take a dip and freeze what is out there! Could it get any worse? Yes, it could but I’m not going to get into it.

I’m grateful for the the roof over my head, hot coffee and tea to warm my heart and Chachi, the cat, to cuddle with. Oh, one more thing. I’m canceling the car test drive tomorrow. It will have to wait till Monday. Not too bothered about it.

Have a wonderful day.

Time is Flying!

Time is not flying because I am having fun but because I’m caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts, not too good ones either! My son is getting ready to fly the coop and in a week or so, he’ll be headed to parts unknown and I’ll be at my wit’s end trying to keep my sanity intact!

A friend asked me, “Do you remember how it was when you flew the coop? Was it scary? The important thing is you made it, so remember that and know that he’ll be alright.” Easier said than done folks.

I know he has achieved much in his young life including finishing up his studies with a better than average grade. He landed three jobs at the get-go even though he had never worked a day in his life! I couldn’t believe it and now the fourth one is on the horizon. He has managed to carry on with his life all on his own without “mommy” hovering over him. More specifically, he has lived alone for over 4 or 5 years and made it. He SHOULD be able to do this as well, right?

Some parts say of course and it will be a breeze. Other parts, the ones that gather strength and let me play through the repertoire of what could go wrong scenarios are digging in their heels and showing me exactly what could go wrong. Just when I think I’ve got a handle on one thing, they push a few more my way. Walks in nature have helped but when I think I’ve cleared my head and walk back in the door, they are there to meet me head-on!

This is going to be a hard one for me. Letting go has never been easy but this will be especially hard since it feels like I’ll be missing a part of me. Is he ok? Is he safe? IS HE DOING WELL? Unknowns that will require both faith and strength to overcome. I’ve done it so far and I think I will and am able to do what is asked of me. The will is there but the “unwilling parts” need to help me along.

This too shall pass? Hopefully, fingers and toes crossed.

The New Car Headache!

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No, I haven’t got one yet, a new car I mean but I’ve been looking and have narrowed it down to two. One is a SUV with some new-fangled features that do not set well with me but it looks like the one I have now, just a newer model. The other is a sporty, steel blue one that is brand new and doesn’t have all the features I don’t want or need! It is smaller than what I have now, more compact and is supposed to be perfect for city driving. The autobahn is another story altogether! It seems the noise level goes up, the faster you go!

What’s the problem? I am. I’ve been Googling as I do with all things new or things I need to know more about and my fingers are telling me to stop it! The first car, the grey number, looks great on the outside and on the inside. I hate the new features because it means getting used to it and since I hate changes, I’m dragging my heels and they are not about to come loose any time soon! I keep saying, “this is not going to work!” Negative thoughts feed more negativity? Exactly where I’m at with this one.

The steel blue sexy looking car looks like it might work. Even though new, it does not have all the fancy thingamajigs or rather the whatchamacallits that I will have to wrestle with. Looks like it might be easy enough to operate and that is the appealing part. The other thing is that it is a hybrid but according to the guy, I wouldn’t have to do a thing. It charges itself! How? He says, “Don’t worry. Just tank it and it does the rest naturally.” Scary? My feelings exactly!

Anyway, I have to test drive this car on Friday and I am not looking forward to it. The weather might just help because snow is supposed to get here on Thursday and if it stays, I will cancel the appointment and move it to next week. Either way, sooner or later, I will have to come to a decision.

My other thought was to have my current car fixed, fork out almost 2,000 euros to fix one headlight. Unbelievable? Yes, I couldn’t believe it either but it has some fancy lights.

Here’s the other thing. That Google adventure I have been on has given me more information than I wanted to know. I got more negatives than I thought was possible and I’m at the point where I’m thinking both “cars” could be a problem. If you’re thinking that salesman is going to have a problem with me, you’re right. I’ve got 10 questions written up ready to be fielded come Friday! I bet he’ll be happy to see me go, hopefully with the keys to the new car in hand.

Hmm….I don’t know about that. If you think I am complicated where relationships are concerned, it doesn’t get any better with settling for another car either. Blame it on Google! Gone are the days where you walk in like a sheep being led to the slaughter and let the salesperson sweet-talk you into parting with your cash. These days, you are an expert with Google’s help of course!

We’ll see how this turns out. I’ll keep you posted.

Have a great day.

Be Proud of Yourself

Are you proud of yourself? Is it pride you feel when you think of who you are as a person? Have you taken timeout to look at all the accomplishments you’ve achieved or do you beat yourself down with all the negatives, both real and the made-up ones, every chance you get? If you step back and really look at yourself, I’m sure you’ll find many instances where you’ve achieved more than most people. All of those things demanded mammoth strength to overcome and ones that really deserved a pat on your back but you let it pass because you were too busy doing this.

“Instead of wishing you were someone else, be proud of who you are. You never know who was looking at you wishing they were you.” Unknown

No way?!! Believe me, there are plenty of people out there who will gladly step into your shoes and will want to walk a mile in them. People who are worse off than you, ones who haven’t achieved half of what you’ve done and just like you, hoping and wishing they had better shoes to fill. Be proud of yourself. You’ve come a long ways and you can do the impossible if you set your mind to it.

“When you feel insecure or like you don’t measure up, remind yourself of how far you’ve come. And in that moment, you’ll realize you’ve climbed mountains and can overcome anything.” Brittany Burgunder

Oh, but there are too many scars, too much pain, too much inadequacy when compared to someone else. I’ve had more than my share of problems to carry, like a yoke on my shoulders. How can I be proud of myself when “life” keeps pushing me down?

“Be proud of your scars. They have everything to do with your strength, and what you’ve endured. They’re a treasure map to the deep self.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes

That deep self is where you thrive. You see the strength, the courage, the determination to survive and it has brought you to where you are now. Be proud of yourself because you, my friend, are unique. You are beautiful, you are strong and you are capable of handling everything life throws your way. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the insurmountable. Pat yourself on the back even if no one else does and keep moving forward and while you’re doing that remind yourself of this.

“Stop letting other people define you, be yourself and be proud of it.” Unknown

One more for good measure.

“BE SOMEONE YOU WOULD BE PROUD TO KNOW.” Unknown

Have an amazing and beautiful day.

A Gift Like No Other!

This one makes me emotional. As gifts go this gift didn’t cost any money but it went straight to the heart and has stayed there through the years.

I remember my five-year-old son was late coming home from kindergarten. It was a short walk from there to the house but he was about an hour late and needless to say I was climbing walls! I was ready to give him a piece of my mind when he rang the doorbell. A sigh of relief rushed through me but there was anger still there or fear or both. I opened the door ready to let him know that it wasn’t ok when he looked at me with those big innocent eyes of his and handed me something he was holding in his hands. It was a small bouquet of wild flowers and they were crushed and there was no life left to be seen in them! “For you mommy,” he said. “I picked them on the way back from school.” He took the wind right out of my sails and I was left speechless which doesn’t happen often. I hugged him tightly and the smile he wore said it all. He was in love with his mommy and I was the most important person in his life at that point in time. I took those flowers carefully and put them in a small glass of water with tears in my eyes as he watched me with love in his.

It was the start of many more gifts to come. The next one came when he went on a school excursion to a zoo. I had given him some money to get an ice but instead he bought me a necklace. It was the ugliest necklace I had ever seen. Some wooden pieces were strung together and in the midst was a wooden turtle! He made me wear it for days on end and I DID. Even though I had received much more expensive gifts from others, that simple ugly piece still has a warm place in my heart and takes the place of best gift of all time, right up there with those crushed flowers.

The gifts have stopped coming , he is a young man now but once in a while he still surprises me. Sometimes it isn’t about how much money is spent on a gift to make it special, all it takes is thought and caring to show someone how much they mean to you. And those gifts did exactly that.

Daily writing prompt

Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received.

View all responses

Finding Yourself

“Finding yourself” is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a child and adult that became your beliefs about who you are. “Finding yourself” is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation of remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you. Unknown

I love this quote because it speaks to the truth of the matter. Quite often we ask who am I? How do I find myself again? These questions often arise after an especially hard or traumatic time and you are feeling lost. Feeling lost and not seeing a clear path ahead is normal, all of us go through it at one point or another. However, staying lost in a jungle of emotions for long periods of time is concerning and needs looking into.

Cultural conditioning does play a big part in how you see yourself. “It’s your upbringing!” I’m sure you’ve heard that one before, I have. I equate the way I react to certain things to my rigid Christian upbringing. Even though I bucked at all the rules and regulations, I couldn’t get away from my conditioning as a young Christian girl. You can take the girl out of that environment but you can’t take the deeply ingrained teachings out of the girl. So it was and is with me.

People’s opinions is a powerful tool indeed. There are good, not so good and extremely biased ones and they can help to build or tear you down. Opinions are a dime a dozen but when used as a weapon, they have the potential to hurt and to fashion your outlook on life and yourself. If you are faced with constant negative feedback, you become conditioned to expect more of the same. It’s the same for positive feedback and so people do have a hold on how you see the world. It’s easy to say let it roll off your back but some of those opinions can make or break you and that is the problem.

In the dating world, you come across many different types of men. The ones who make my skin crawl are the ones who expect “something” from the get go. By Date 3, you get the feeling that you’re expected to put out or else you are “COMPLICATED!” Heard that one before? That is an opinion purely designed to make you feel like there is something totally wrong with you if you don’t. I don’t “put out” so I’ve heard that term applied to yours truly many times over. Each time I squirm when I hear it. Two days ago a friend showed up at my door. Friend to me but he’s on another track altogether. First words out of his mouth, “Why don’t you take me upstairs?” And when he saw the look on my face he went on to add, “YOU ARE COMPLICATED!” This time around I didn’t take it sitting down. “Listen, just because you can’t get what you want does not mean I’m complicated. Besides, I’m not accepting your viewpoint of me!”

He didn’t see that one coming. He gulped like a goldfish out of water and before he could say another word, I showed him the door. The moral of this story is, you alone decide which opinions get to you, which ones you keep and which ones you throw out the door! Life is simpler that way. The power is in your hands and yes at times you have to grow a thick skin.

Inaccurate conclusions arising from what you’ve faced through your journey is another one that will make you question your self-worth and who you are as a person. Those inaccurate conclusions can be changed. It is up to you to change how you feel about yourself but only you can do that. Finding yourself takes work and it is a journey of self-discovery and self-awareness.

According to psychologytoday.com, it is a crucial step because it is the key to living a fulfilling and authentic life. Reflect on your life experiences, both positive and negative ones. What have you learned from them? How have they shaped you? Embrace your strengths, accept your weaknesses and show up in the world as your genuine self.

LEARN TO FLY AGAIN.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

It is that time of the year again. The one where you scramble to show your significant other just how important they are. Roses, chocolates, nice dinners and so on come into play. According to one source, Valentine’s Day originated a long time ago, in 496 A.D. to honor St. Valentine. It turned from a religious feast to a romantic one in the 14th century. Now, it is a commercialized affair with cards, gifts and a love “gusto” that transcends the normal!

What is love?

“Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust.” http://www.verywellmind.com

I decided to look a little deeper and found some quotes that describe love in all its entirety and here are some of my favorites.

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” Paulo Coelho

Paulo has a way with words and in the most romantic way. I’m still waiting to see what the universe has conspired for me.

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times.” Ann Landers

I like the next one a lot. Why? Because I am a romantic at heart and it speaks to my soul. See what I mean?

“Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing.” Torquato Tasso

“I don’t want a perfect person. I just want someone to act silly with, someone who treats me well and loves being with me more than anything.” Unknown

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” Oscar Wilde

Oscar said it well, don’t you think? Simply beautiful but I haven’t found him yet. Still looking!

“The real lover is a man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.” Marilyn Monroe

Who knew Ms. Monroe had it in her. The blonde bombshell went deeper than her looks and I love that quote.

Next is my girl, Carrie Bradshaw. She knows her love material well.

“I am someone who is looking for real love; ridiculous. inconvenient. consuming. can’t-live-without-each other love.”

“I’d like to think that people have more than one soulmate. If you miss one, along comes another. Like cabs.”

I am not too sure about that one. Perhaps they won’t be called soulmates anymore. Just run of the mill types who walk in and out of your life and that might be a more appropriate description.

My favorite of them all is this one below.

“The heart that’s meant to love you will fight for you when you want to give up, pick you up when you’re feeling down, and will give their smile when it’s hard for you to find yours. They will NEVER get strength from seeing you weak, power from seeing you hurt, or joy from seeing you cry. The heart that’s meant to love you wants to see the best of you, not the hurt you! Never forget that.” Trent Shelton

Feeling all loved up? I know I am.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 😍💞💕♥️

LOL!

I found this totally hilarious and true to a T! I’ve had a couple of them pull up behind me and they scared the h**l out of me! So this one resonates totally.

DIARY OF A BMW DRIVER..

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars

First off, I couldn’t believe that the volume of traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn’t be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew – that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They’re not free points either – they’re £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won’t be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won’t even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT’S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

The Dating World

I put a stop to dating towards the end of last year because I was up to my neck with meeting the no-good-two-timing types! All was nice and quiet in my world after that without the constant hassle of meeting one or the other of these types. Chachi, the cat, was perfectly fine with this decision. In fact, he went around the house carrying a banner that read, “I’m in heaven!”

Needless to say, I decided to give it another try. I put on my magnifying glasses and went through the parade of potentials all eager to meet the woman of their dreams! I was on the same boat. I wanted to meet that one special guy as well. Nope, I haven’t given up hope yet.

I had many invites but since I had my double-strength magnifying glasses on, nothing panned out. Okay, they were nice guys and I even had some conversations going with one or the other. However, I was not out of my recluse mode yet so I kept making excuses.

Then two days ago, I got an invite that blew me out of the water! It was from a tall, muscular guy and below the “Hello” was a pic of a blonde woman holding a champagne glass. She was nicely built and looked like she had been around the block several times, if you know what I mean. If you don’t, it doesn’t matter. So, he wrote me an epistle introducing himself and his partner, the blonde woman. They were looking for a third party to join in their festivities and if that wasn’t enough, he wanted to add their “sweet” dog into the mix for added fun!

I’m straight as an arrow and at first, I didn’t know what he was talking about. After reading it through three times and still at a loss for words, I asked a friend and he explained it in his no-nonsense way. They were looking for a threesome! Not only that, the dog would be part and parcel of this adventure! Oh God! Why do I always run into such things?

All I want is this nice guy who will look at me like I’m manna from heaven and be satisfied with that! No go? Well, it seems like it is a no go. I kept my silence and hoped he would go away. However, I kept getting pics of this blonde woman showing off more skin than I thought was possible and attaching captions that read something like this. “I like you. I think you are pretty.”

Am I blushing? Absolutely. So, I put a stop to it but nicely. The “nice” part is where all my problems begin. Anyway, I explained that I was not into what they wanted and wished them all the best. Surprisingly, he was nice, wished me the same and I never heard from him again. Now, I would like to know what is with that DOG?!! I can tell you one thing, it is no Chachi. My little guy is as innocent as Peter Pan but this dog, well, it has been around the block as well! The poor thing.

Anyway, that was one fiasco. Then another one showed up. A well-heeled German who had made tons of money from real-estate. He loved spending half the year in Germany and the other half in Florida. He is currently in Florida enjoying winter and feeling LONELY. He found me and we talked. “I’m looking for that special someone to complete the picture.” Hmm….I guess he wanted the little woman who will do all his bidding. Last night, he called and invited me to come visit and to spend a week or two at his hacienda. Well, I mean his huge spacious house complete with a pool and a jacuzzi to boot! Where do I find these guys? Exactly my question.

I told him it was a no go. I’m not going to drop everything and go spend time with someone I hardly know. Guess what? If you don’t get what you want, it becomes more interesting. He is on the chase and I hate to say it but I’m a tough nut to crack and add a little “crazy” to that and you get the picture.

The dating world is a hard one. You don’t always get what you want and even though “kissing” frogs come into play and you keep your sights peeled for the one and only, you will have to wade through a lot more mud to get there, if you get there that is.

Sad, but true.

Have an amazing day.