life – Page 4 – Site Title

Less Heavy-Handedness

My parents were hands-on when it came to raising a child. There was strict discipline, no talking back, do as we say, no bucking the rules, and definitely no DISRESPECT!

It was tough growing up in such a household because at times I wanted to spew like a volcano and let them know that I wasn’t going to stand for it anymore. However, I kept it all inside and had to find other avenues of letting my frustrations out. Running wild in the woods was one such way.

I’m not saying they were bad parents, probably the opposite. However, they took discipline to a new level and it wasn’t to my liking. The thing I do differently is to raise my child with less discipline and more understanding. I also tell him that I love him everyday. My parents forgot that part in the hectic and chaotic world of raising a brood! I wanted to hear those words badly but they just went about it a different way. As a parent, I want my child to know that he is loved unconditionally, no guessing games involved.

Discipline is hard here in Germany. The child raising model is different.They emphasize, “independence, self-reliance, and social integration.” All fine and good but discipline is sorely lacking and respect, well, it is right up there with discipline. My neighbor’s kid used to call or rather scream his mother’s first name when he needed help. It shocked me at first but different strokes for different folks I suppose.

Mine was never allowed to do that. I doled out disciplinary measures and my ex, a German, didn’t agree. Time-out when the child was acting up was cruel and inhuman punishment, according to him. I had to navigate both sides, but I must say that I’ve raised a good boy. He is a young adult now and doing well on his own. He knows he is loved and he is independent starting to travel the world because his job requires it.

I’ve learned to let him go although the “helicopter rotor blades” are ready to take off any minute if needed! I am still there to talk with if he needs that support, I let him have his say, and anything he wants to tell me, I am there for him with a listening ear and a warm embrace.

Those are the things I do differently and I think it has worked well so far. Respect is still hard because at times he kicks up his heels and at those times, I give him space. Sometimes I get a sorry but seldom and that is okay too. I am standing on the sidelines now watching him take off and I wish him well.

I’m still here if he needs me.

Daily writing prompt

What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?

View all responses

Kindness Has a Sound

Elias Grace is my kind of guy and Dolly Parton? She left the world a little better with her presence and grace.

RIP

LOL!

This is hilarious and I must add, a very smart God indeed!

A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai and gets close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord, “God, what does a million years mean to you?” The Lord replies, “A minute.”

The man then asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?” The Lord replies, “A penny.”

Then he asks,”Can I have a penny?” The Lord replies, “In a minute.”

🤣🤣🤣

Ode to Google

“Hello darkness, my old friend/ I’ve come to talk with you again”

Remember the lyrics. It was an old song sang by the rock duo Simon and Garfunkel and it was about “the inability of people to communicate with each other.” A beautiful song from a beloved duo.

Now, take out the “darkness” part and replace it with Google and that’s where I stand with Google now. It is my best buddy, my mentor, my go to for everything I’m unsure of, and it keeps my night moving! It is also a wealth of information at your fingertips. Google Search is a godsent for people like me meaning the worrywarts. When something pops into my head and I need answers right away, there it is, my tried and tested true friend. I almost feel like I have someone right there in the room with me at times!

The recent health scare had me relying on Google even before the doctors could set the record straight. I walked in armed to the teeth and knew more than some of those doctors did and at times I would catch them viewing me suspiciously. “Who is she and how come she knows so much and where is her whitecoat?” Hmm…..the problem with knowing everything and more can be a detriment at times. I was hyped to the gills, fear took hold, and I had no peace because I KNEW the risk factors and that in itself was enough to stop me from going through with what needed to be done.

It told me everything from checking in, what to expect, how to prepare, what comes after, what to watch out for, and the recovery period right through to Week 4! Wow! I knew everything and when the doctors walked in, I was ready to bombard them with questions. Yes, you guessed it. They thought I was a royal pain in the you know what!

A friend said recently, “I hate Google!” I think he was going about it the wrong way. Embrace it and it does wonders for your psyche, your well-being, and to put your mind at ease. Not always! There were times when I would ask something and it would switch to Spanish! I would say, “Why Spanish?”

“Oops sorry, I accidentally hit the wrong button!”

Or the time, I would ask something and it would keep repeating the same stuff.

“You’ve already answered that question.”

“Sorry, let’s start again.”

I guess with everything there are glitches and they show up now and then but Google, my friend, you are what I need right now. I can do almost everything without leaving home and everything I need to know is just a fingertip away!

Thank you for keeping me company when the night is long and lonely, for making the silence a little less foreboding, and for easing my stress and tension by arming me with knowledge, the kind I need to survive this ordeal.

I’M A BIG FAN!

It Spooked!

Photo by https://kaboompics.com/ on Pexels.com

Do you believe in ghosts? I do having seen a few in my lifetime especially in Asia during my stay there. That was in Asia, I am in Europe now and it seems they exist here as well.

Some of you know that I spent a week in the hospital just recently. The first day after the operation, I was in a hospital bed and I had the room to myself. I was too pissed about all the attachments I had taking up space and one foreign object within me. The last one didn’t set too well with me. I had no choice in the matter and it would stay for another four days!

Anyway, coming back to the spooky part. The first night in the hospital was quiet and the night staff were noisy. They were talking and cutting up. I listened for a while not being able to sleep. The day had been filled with unknowns and my body was refusing to quiet down. It was still on high alert.

I was dozing on and off when I finally woke up with a start. I saw this older woman dressed in a 50s style cardigan paired with a below the knee skirt. Her hair was all white and she was facing away from me! She had a walking aid in front of me and was moving slowly towards the door! I gulped and sat up. Then I saw him. He was much younger and dressed in navy blue shorts. Looked like he had an injury to one leg and had a crutch under one arm. He was also moving towards the door, his back facing me!

What did I see?!! Just my hyped-up brain playing tricks on me or was it what I think it was? I don’t know but I stayed up for the rest of the night! I didn’t see anything else during my stay there. If you’re thinking it was the meds or the painkillers, I wasn’t on any.

Hmm…it is interesting how the details remain. I still see her in my mind’s eye, she was skinny and the cardigan had an orange floral pattern on it. I’m glad they left me alone!

SPOOKY!

Hallelujah!

Don’t you just hate being in the hospital? I DO! You go there to get yourself fixed but there are other aspects that come along with it that you have to contend with. The food for one thing. In German hospitals, breakfast and dinner are almost one and the same thing! Dry bread, a slice of cheese, cold cut, butter, jam, and the obligatory cup of coffee or tea. Lunch is the only thing that is different and healthy? Well, that is another thing altogether!

Depending on what you have had done decides if you can get out of bed and do the necessary stuff that daily life demands or requires. Personal hygiene usually flies out the window. I had things hooked up to my body and I had the hospital gown on, the one that opens up in the back and keeping your modesty intact is a hard thing to do. Anyway, coming back to the point I am trying to make.

I couldn’t shower. Walking around I managed, going to the bathroom with difficulty but a shower? It was next to impossible so I used wipes to keep myself clean. It helped but nothing like a shower would. I was dreaming of standing under a shower and letting the day go flying over my head!

Seven days in and I was going through “wipes” like there was no tomorrow. Then last night, I decided enough is enough! I was home, no longer hooked up to stuff, and it was time to take the bull by the horns. The problem. Both my bathrooms have the typical shower bathtub combination. You have to climb into the bathtub to take a shower. My dilemma? I’m allowed small steps on flat surface but climbing over a bathtub, well, that was a no no. Did that stop me? What do you think? I made up my mind and I went for it with rose-covered dreams of water cascading over my body beckoning me on. I made it. I was in and then I turned on the water.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

It was PURE heaven! I let the cool water wash away the seven days of YUCK! I could have stayed there forever but I knew I was pushing my luck. I climbed out with no pain in sight, I had done it! I was still standing and it was another milestone achieved, of which I’m sure will be plenty more to come as I recuperate and find my way back to being fit and whole again.

It felt like a great adventure achieved with aplomb. Think about it. When healthy, the small things don’t matter. However, when life throws in a curve and leaves you gasping for air, even the smallest of things take monumental effort.

Never give up and when there is a will, there is a way.

Have an amazing day.

Decisions

“Decisions are the hardest thing to make, especially when it is a choice between where you should be and where you want to be.” Unknown

This first quote speaks to the heart of the matter. The choice between where you should be and where you want to be is often the hardest decision to make. Your heart tells you one thing, and the facts something else!

“Sometimes doing what’s best for you won’t feel like the best.” Unknown

I crossed this bridge when I had to make a decision based on what was necessary and the fear that was holding me back. Two monumental but necessary viewpoints. The only problem? Fear stepped in and wouldn’t let go. Coming to a decision was next to impossible. I took the time and went through the pros and cons strategically, well, I tried to. In the end, I knew which road I had to take. It was the road less traveled. The decision was made but the way forward was still shrouded in fear and lots of unknowns. Safety as I knew it was right there waiting to welcome me back into the fold but I knew I had to move forward. I kept looking back at that well-travelled road. It was familiar and comforting.

“Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.” Napoleon Bonaparte

One road would lead nowhere. I would stay where I am, pretend the problem didn’t exist . I could put my blinders on and move ahead like there were no stumbling blocks on the path ahead. Sometimes, there is no other choice. It was next to impossible but I did it. It took jumping back and forth, weighing the options, and screaming of course! I did all of those things, and then the time came and I stepped right in, unknowns and all. I made the decision to go ahead and get the procedure done. What made me do it? It could have been this.

“I haven’t made any really bad decisions lately, I’m getting bored.” Unknown

All joking aside, once the decision was made, I moved forwards hoping it was the right one. I was still scared, nervous, still unsure, but none of that mattered anymore. It was DONE. The decision was made.

It has been 7 days after the operation. I am at home pain-free and recuperating. Another OP is looming in the not so distant future. Yes, I need two. The doctor told me that once it is done, “I will be as good as new.” Let me add, “Or dead!”

“I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision, I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.” Unknown

Did I do just that with this decision. I don’t know for sure but the coming weeks will show if I did. Taking it easy is the key, lots of rest, eating right and not raring to GO before I am ready is also a major point. I’ll take it easy, get bored out of my mind and HOPE my body smiles and says, “There you go. Good job!”

“Be decisive, right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t decide.” Unknown

Hmm…..I wasn’t ONE of them!

Have an amazing day.

Kindness Abounds!

There have been many instances of kindness but I can’t remember them all! I can speak of one that stood out from the rest simply because I never asked for help but got it anyway. It happened yesterday.

I am home after having gone through a risky operation at the hospital. Thankfully, it went well or so I hope! The wound is healing as it should, fingers and toes crossed! However, I have been feeling a little alone and a tad helpless as well. Recuperation requires that I don’t drive, not carry anything heavy, minimize going up and down the stairs, eat healthy, and take it easy. Let your body rest was the message.

I was wondering what I was going to do about food, ordering in was not an option because I like eating healthy stuff. I was mulling this over when the doorbell rang at around 1:30 in the afternoon. I opened the door to find my girlfriend with two big bags and a small pot of flowers.

She went, “Hi! Delivery service here! I must say you don’t look bad! I expected worse.”

“Like what?”

“Like someone who has just had an operation!”

Anyway, she walks in, gives me a much needed hug, and hands me the flowers and the chocolates! She had two bags filled with groceries. It had everything I needed, fruits, vegetables, salads, meat, chicken, and my favorite Macadamia nuts!

Blinking back tears, I wanted to hug her again! We talked for a while and then she said, “I almost forgot. “Where is Chachi?”

“Under the stairs.”

“I have something for him.” She pulls a cute little mouse from one of the bags.

She puts it in front of him but he had this look which seemed to say, “That’s not going to BUY me! You can take it with you. My mummy is back and she’s staying so all of you can BUGGER OFF!”

Anyway, that tops the list of one of the kindest thing someone has ever done for me. It came at a time when I really needed it.

I was about to end this when I noticed I had a message. It was my neighbor from across the street. She is over 80 but a sweetheart of a lady. Her message, “Call me, I am worried about you. Did everything go alright?”

I called and we talked. Then she said, “I am going to bake you some oatmeal cookies.” I thought that was the sweetest thing when she added more. “If you need grocery shopping done, I can help you with that too. Just give me a list.”

Did she just top the other one? The lady walks with a hunched back but she never fails to bring me her homemade cherry jam from cherries harvested from her garden every summer. This offer of help was very kind but I may or may not take her up on it. It all depends if I can get myself back in shape in the shortest possible time! I HAVE PLANS TO DO JUST THAT.

“Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you.” Misty Copeland

Daily writing prompt

What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

View all responses

Mandy Hale

This New York Times bestselling author and speaker has a way with words and a knack for beautiful quotes. They are not only beautiful but they do speak to the heart and hits the nail where it needs to go! Here are some of my favorites where this lady is concerned.

“It’s OKAY to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.”

I DID!

“Have faith in your journey. Everything had to happen exactly as it did to get you where you’re going next.”

The lessons are coming in fast and furious!

“You can’t force something to happen. You can only drive yourself crazy trying. At some point you just have to let go and let God.”

I DID!

“Rid yourself of all the things you’ve outgrown and the things you’re meant to grow into will track you down!”

Fingers and toes crossed!

“That’s the thing about fear. It can only hang around until faith enters the room, then it’s forced to flee.”

It did but in my case, it returns at a drop of a coin!

“God is telling you to rest your heart. You have done everything you could, prayed every prayer you knew, and stayed faithful even when it hurt. Now let ME handle it. What you cannot fix I am working behind the scenes, aligning things you cannot see yet.”

Of this, I am SURE!

“Don’t go back to something God has already rescued you from.”

Hard to do but trying really hard!

“Sometimes you have to realize that you’ve HAD enough to realize that you ARE enough.”

And you my friend are ENOUGH as YOU ARE! Always have been.

Back from the Dead!

I thought I was a goner when I went in for the surgery. It was going to be a two-hour operation with risks involved as with most procedures that requires a surgeon’s hands to put things back together again. You probably read about my fears here and the feeling that I was going to die was front and center!

It is now Day 6 after the surgery. I came home yesterday with another OP looming next month. What? Yes, they need to do another one to make sure everything is as it should be. According to one doctor, “You will be a new person once it is done.” Or dead was my retort but I kept it to myself.

They (the doctors) expected pain to be a mainstay but were surprised when none showed up. I was hooked up to different things and one in particular I couldn’t stand! A nurse helped me to walk a few hours after the surgery and I did fine. She left the room and I decided to do it on my own. I trained like an athlete before the procedure so I knew I was fully capable of doing it. I walked the length and width of the room and did it with no problems except for a few twinges here and there. I jotted the progress down. Two hours later, I did it again! By end of day, I had done 5 rounds!

Day 2, I was up at break of day. I couldn’t sleep because the anesthesia was giving me a run for the money! It was still coursing through my veins and sleeplessness or rather insomnia was one of the after effects. The main thing, I wasn’t being given pain killers. My body was reacting well and HEALING I hoped. They checked the vitals and everything was excellent. The light at the end of the tunnel?

It looked like it except for the second OP looming in the not so distant future. I made up my mind to go throw the storm and meet it head on when it shows up. I still had time, for now the healing needs to take place and I will work hard on that. No workouts, no heavy lifting, no driving, and no eating crap! Coffee is down to one cup a day, anything that can irritate the wound is out the window, and lots of rest and relaxation. I can weather the first two, that last one is going to be hard. I LOVE moving around!

I made it up and down the stairs yesterday! Very, very, slowly of course. I can’t lift Chachi and hold him close because he is considered too heavy! So, I’ve been stroking him and giving him kisses, lots of it.

Recovery needs lots of work and I’ve already started. I have to look at other alternatives of keeping myself fit and ready for the next phase of what is coming up. Walking in the garden is one option, not fast but slow and steady is the way to go. Three times a day should do it.

I was rolled into that operating theatre with two heavyweights by my side. My angel who never leaves my side and the ONE who moves mountains. I’m sure he guided the surgeon’s hands as well!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!