love – Page 2 – Site Title

Happy Valentine’s Day!

It is that time of the year again. The one where you scramble to show your significant other just how important they are. Roses, chocolates, nice dinners and so on come into play. According to one source, Valentine’s Day originated a long time ago, in 496 A.D. to honor St. Valentine. It turned from a religious feast to a romantic one in the 14th century. Now, it is a commercialized affair with cards, gifts and a love “gusto” that transcends the normal!

What is love?

“Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust.” http://www.verywellmind.com

I decided to look a little deeper and found some quotes that describe love in all its entirety and here are some of my favorites.

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” Paulo Coelho

Paulo has a way with words and in the most romantic way. I’m still waiting to see what the universe has conspired for me.

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times.” Ann Landers

I like the next one a lot. Why? Because I am a romantic at heart and it speaks to my soul. See what I mean?

“Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing.” Torquato Tasso

“I don’t want a perfect person. I just want someone to act silly with, someone who treats me well and loves being with me more than anything.” Unknown

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” Oscar Wilde

Oscar said it well, don’t you think? Simply beautiful but I haven’t found him yet. Still looking!

“The real lover is a man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.” Marilyn Monroe

Who knew Ms. Monroe had it in her. The blonde bombshell went deeper than her looks and I love that quote.

Next is my girl, Carrie Bradshaw. She knows her love material well.

“I am someone who is looking for real love; ridiculous. inconvenient. consuming. can’t-live-without-each other love.”

“I’d like to think that people have more than one soulmate. If you miss one, along comes another. Like cabs.”

I am not too sure about that one. Perhaps they won’t be called soulmates anymore. Just run of the mill types who walk in and out of your life and that might be a more appropriate description.

My favorite of them all is this one below.

“The heart that’s meant to love you will fight for you when you want to give up, pick you up when you’re feeling down, and will give their smile when it’s hard for you to find yours. They will NEVER get strength from seeing you weak, power from seeing you hurt, or joy from seeing you cry. The heart that’s meant to love you wants to see the best of you, not the hurt you! Never forget that.” Trent Shelton

Feeling all loved up? I know I am.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 😍💞💕♥️

Valentine’s Day Story

It is on the way. The day when love is celebrated with hearts, kisses, roses and lots of love. It falls annually on February 14th and there is a frenzied rush to show that certain someone special just how wonderful they are. What about the other days? Well, it goes without saying. Just a normal day with no Schnickschnack involved. This too is love and it takes many forms.

Coming back to the Valentine’s Day Story.

Valentine’s Day often makes us think about hearts, chocolates, and romance — but some of the most meaningful love stories are about friendship, kindness, and showing up for one another when it matters most.

That’s exactly what The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie celebrates.

At its core, this story isn’t about grand gestures or perfect heroes. It’s about Honey, a miniature greyhound who must find courage she didn’t know she had, and Hubie, a bold little frog who proves that friendship doesn’t always come in expected forms. Together, they explore a whimsical world filled with surprises, gentle humor, and moments that quietly remind us what love really looks like.

What makes this book such a lovely Valentine’s Day read is how naturally its message unfolds. Honey and Hubie don’t set out to teach lessons — they simply care about each other. They listen, they help, they face fears side by side. And in doing so, they show young readers that love isn’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes, it’s just being brave enough to take the next step when someone believes in you.

For children, it’s a story about friendship and courage. For parents and teachers, it’s a reminder that stories can nurture empathy, imagination, and emotional growth — all without preaching.

This Valentine’s Day, The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie is a beautiful choice for sharing a quieter kind of love: the love of friendship, loyalty, and believing in one another — even when the path ahead feels uncertain.

Because the best adventures, just like the best kinds of love, are the ones we don’t take alone.

The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie by T. J. Mueller

Available on Amazon

The Dating World

I put a stop to dating towards the end of last year because I was up to my neck with meeting the no-good-two-timing types! All was nice and quiet in my world after that without the constant hassle of meeting one or the other of these types. Chachi, the cat, was perfectly fine with this decision. In fact, he went around the house carrying a banner that read, “I’m in heaven!”

Needless to say, I decided to give it another try. I put on my magnifying glasses and went through the parade of potentials all eager to meet the woman of their dreams! I was on the same boat. I wanted to meet that one special guy as well. Nope, I haven’t given up hope yet.

I had many invites but since I had my double-strength magnifying glasses on, nothing panned out. Okay, they were nice guys and I even had some conversations going with one or the other. However, I was not out of my recluse mode yet so I kept making excuses.

Then two days ago, I got an invite that blew me out of the water! It was from a tall, muscular guy and below the “Hello” was a pic of a blonde woman holding a champagne glass. She was nicely built and looked like she had been around the block several times, if you know what I mean. If you don’t, it doesn’t matter. So, he wrote me an epistle introducing himself and his partner, the blonde woman. They were looking for a third party to join in their festivities and if that wasn’t enough, he wanted to add their “sweet” dog into the mix for added fun!

I’m straight as an arrow and at first, I didn’t know what he was talking about. After reading it through three times and still at a loss for words, I asked a friend and he explained it in his no-nonsense way. They were looking for a threesome! Not only that, the dog would be part and parcel of this adventure! Oh God! Why do I always run into such things?

All I want is this nice guy who will look at me like I’m manna from heaven and be satisfied with that! No go? Well, it seems like it is a no go. I kept my silence and hoped he would go away. However, I kept getting pics of this blonde woman showing off more skin than I thought was possible and attaching captions that read something like this. “I like you. I think you are pretty.”

Am I blushing? Absolutely. So, I put a stop to it but nicely. The “nice” part is where all my problems begin. Anyway, I explained that I was not into what they wanted and wished them all the best. Surprisingly, he was nice, wished me the same and I never heard from him again. Now, I would like to know what is with that DOG?!! I can tell you one thing, it is no Chachi. My little guy is as innocent as Peter Pan but this dog, well, it has been around the block as well! The poor thing.

Anyway, that was one fiasco. Then another one showed up. A well-heeled German who had made tons of money from real-estate. He loved spending half the year in Germany and the other half in Florida. He is currently in Florida enjoying winter and feeling LONELY. He found me and we talked. “I’m looking for that special someone to complete the picture.” Hmm….I guess he wanted the little woman who will do all his bidding. Last night, he called and invited me to come visit and to spend a week or two at his hacienda. Well, I mean his huge spacious house complete with a pool and a jacuzzi to boot! Where do I find these guys? Exactly my question.

I told him it was a no go. I’m not going to drop everything and go spend time with someone I hardly know. Guess what? If you don’t get what you want, it becomes more interesting. He is on the chase and I hate to say it but I’m a tough nut to crack and add a little “crazy” to that and you get the picture.

The dating world is a hard one. You don’t always get what you want and even though “kissing” frogs come into play and you keep your sights peeled for the one and only, you will have to wade through a lot more mud to get there, if you get there that is.

Sad, but true.

Have an amazing day.

Living Your Best Life

“Put yourself first on your priority list and watch your life get better.” Unknown

One interpretation of living your best life is to “live a life that makes you happy and also one that allows you to live your full potential.” quora.com

Concentrating on yourself is of the utmost importance. If you want to live your best life, put yourself first and foremost on that priority list. It starts with YOU and if you can get your act together everything else falls into place and even if it doesn’t, give it time to right itself out. In the meantime you’re standing where you should be and that is at the top of your list.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” Unknown

Each day do what is necessary to get yourself back on track. If you’re down on your knees, stand back up. If all you see is grey clouds and no sunshine, make your own sunshine. Put on a smile, get dressed and go out and shine! Never underestimate the power of a smile, it does wonders for your psyche and your soul. So make sure to wear one even if you don’t feel like it.

Talk to yourself. Tell yourself, “I love you!” Sounds crazy? Not really. Sometimes or rather more often than not, we forget the person we carry around with us. The special someone who stands by us through all our big and little moments of sadness, joy, heartbreak and everything else that goes to make up this life of ours. Show it some LOVE. I’ve started doing this practice of positive self-talk and I say, “I love you,” “I’m thankful for your support,” and “I’m grateful for all the things you do for me.” After I finish I give myself a hug, a make-believe one but a hug nonetheless. This has proved to be an absolute game changer and within a few minutes I feel calmer and “happiness” courses through my whole being. Not always but that is okay too.

Here’s another important point. If you want to live your best life, don’t beat yourself up. You’re beautiful as you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! We are our own worst enemy and I know I am. I often tell myself, “Your hair looks bad today!” Or that little spot on my face has taken gigantic proportions and is now staring back at me with a grin. Sometimes I say, “I just don’t like how I look!” I’m learning to tone down the rhetoric and to be kinder and gentler to myself. These days if someone says, “You look good,” I accept it wholeheartedly without resorting to, “but that’s not what I saw this morning as I looked in the mirror!” Vanity can be a downer at times but learning to accept yourself flaws and all is the way to go.

One Day It Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Unknown

Go out and live your very best life and while you’re doing it don’t forget to have an amazing day!

Terms of Endearment (Archives)

“That’s a gesture of endearment in some cultures. Some hug, some kiss, some set each other on fire in small patches of woodland.” Jonathan Stroud

I guess that last part comes in when the relationship goes down south! Closer to home and of the less insane variety, we dish them out like there’s no tomorrow when it comes to endearing terms. It’s meant to show the newly significant other that they are dear to us and laying it on thick and heavy with such words is the way to go about doing it. Be it “Angel” “Sweetheart” “Babe” “Lovebug” “Sweetie Pie” “Cupcake” “Sweetie” or as Daenerys (Khaleesi) referred to her husband, Khal Drogo, as “my sun and stars” and he referred to her as, “moon of my life.” Swoonworthy right? However, Daenerys smothers him with a pillow to save him from misery in the end. It was love but celestial bodies do take a dive now and then.

“Because I’ve got a lot more terms of endearment to use. Honeypie. Sugarplum. Bread pudding. “Why are they all high-calorie foods?” Richelle Mead

That’s what I would like to know but you forgot cheesecake! Some of them border on the ridiculous and yet it is part and parcel of the dating world and into the relationship existence. My friend, the one who passed away, used to call me “Lovely,” and at times “Babe.” It was an automatic response and I don’t think he gave it much thought.

Terms of endearment is defined as, “a word or phrase used to address or describe a person, animal or inanimate object which the speaker feels love or affection for.” Another explanation is that it is used “to put people at ease and is a form of approval, empathy, and to show interest.” All fine and good but what happens when the relationship goes south? You guessed it. There are terms for that too but needless to say I’m not going to get into them. Let’s just say that they are not of the nice variety and oftentimes it negates all the “sweet” stuff that we pour on in a fast and furious manner as in the beginning of the relationship. Ones that take you to places you don’t want to go.

Here’s a tip:

“Cheesecake” is my favorite so if you want to get anywhere with me and see my eyes light up, you know what to say!

Update: I’m on Day 4 of no cheesecake and I’m doing okay so far. I still hear it calling but nope, it’s a done deal! Read my article, “The Cheesecake Dilemma” to know what I’m talking about.

Finally, terms of endearment are flitting at best. Permanency doesn’t define its lifespan but spur of the moment does. With that in mind, I’m signing off to go see what “Buttercup,” is doing. That’s my TOE for my cat, Chachi. I’ve got a ton of other names for him and the repertoire is growing everyday! Good that the love shine hasn’t worn off yet.

Have an amazing day.

RELAX (Archives)

Update: I’m still taking those small steps forward and I am seeing progress. The journey is ongoing and it seems to be a never-ending one but there are changes taking place. That, in itself, is a good thing.

“You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner…so relax, breathe, and be patient.” Mandy Hale

These days ‘relax’ is a word that seems foreign to me. Once, a long time ago, it was the easiest thing to do. I could close my eyes anywhere and go to Nirvana Land at the drop of a coin but not anymore.

What changed? Life did. A divorce, the death of a close friend and life’s curveballs all had me standing at the brink and pulling myself back from staring into the abyss was hard to do but I did.

“At any given moment you have the power to say this is not how the story is going to end.” Unknown

I realized that I had the power within me to change what I didn’t like. Pulling myself back up and to keep going was even harder but I had no choice, it had to be done. I started by putting a 17 year marriage where it belonged. It was done and I had to move forward. I had to learn that ‘LOVE’ can and does end and I had no say in the matter. I couldn’t decide for the other person so I worked on the person I knew best. I went deep inside myself and then I heard the whisper and it said, “RELAX.” There was power there that much I knew. I took the steps to go back to what was always home to me. My inner self and to get there I had to learn to relax again. It was not easy, nothing ever is. The first few tries were a disaster. A few minutes was all I could do. It was frustrating but I learned to just breathe. Just simple in and out breathing, nothing fancy. The technique took very little time but I could feel it vibrating within me. I was coming alive again.

“If you don’t like where you are, change it. You’re not a tree.” Unknown

However, life wasn’t done with me yet. There were more lessons to be learned and it would not only test my resolve to do better but it would take me back to square one again. Eight years after my divorce, I would lose someone very dear to me and once again, it felt like the rug was being pulled out from under me. Goodbyes are hard but ‘forever’ goodbyes even more so. The peace I had felt within had disintegrated and now it lay scattered around my feet. I wanted what I couldn’t have but he was gone and I had to go it alone. Nothing I did and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get myself to relax again. It felt like I was climbing walls where there was none to be found. I was back on that cliff and staring into a fog covered distance. Then I heard the whisper and it said, “RELAX. You’ll be fine.”

“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step.” Unknown

I took those small steps because there was no other way. My plan of action was to keep taking those small steps until they turned to bigger steps and I could feel myself flying again. It took time, it took looking back at things I didn’t want to look at, it took discarding what no longer served me and most of all, it took courage to move ahead. I learned to relax. Breathing, meditating, walks, enjoying nature, working out, treating myself and learning to like myself all became a daily routine. I talked myself into loving me and to learn that I AM ENOUGH AS I AM. No, I’m not flying yet but I hope one day I will. I’m still taking those steps to move forward and learning to leave the past behind me. Relaxation is still hard but those few minutes a day have turned into more than 40 minutes a day. I am making progress.

“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand…relax! If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” Osho

Breathe in, breathe out, RELAX.

Have An Amazing Day

It’s a Mean World (Archives)

Meanness exists in all forms and it is out there. However, I want to talk to you about the people you let into your inner circle, the ones who have been given direct access to you and the ones who have the opportunity to take aim and wreck havoc in your life. The ones who show you that meanness is not only out there in the world but that it is much closer to home and if given the chance, it can bring you down to your knees.

Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

There is so much truth in that one little quote. The problem is we see it, we know that it is not good for us but we keep hoping for change, hoping that the person will change for the better and show you something different but it never happens. Perhaps, it is in their DNA and change in any form will not be forthcoming. At times it is a bitter pill to swallow but still we hang on hoping for the best and all we get is the same old stuff or worse. It is time to do different.

The world is not made up of sugar and spice and all things nice. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. There are those who won’t hesitate to hurt you, play with your heart, those who will use their actions to show you how little you mean to them and there are those who will break you simply because they can.

“It’s hard to be nice when the rest of the world is so mean.” Sarah Dessen

Step out into the world knowing that not everyone is nice. Pay attention to what is being shown to you. Their actions will speak louder than words. Are they liars/cheaters? Did they show you that they are and later came up with excuses for their indiscretions? Excuses or not, they’ve shown you that you can’t trust them. Believe them and take it from there. A liar/cheater is someone who takes you lightly. If you had meant more to them, they wouldn’t have gone down that path of no return. If you’re thinking they’ll change, think again. Once a cheater always a cheater. It’s somehow wired into their DNA and each time they get away with it, they become more emboldened. Betrayers betray you when it suits them. You are the last thing on their mind when they decide to cheat. It’s all about them so remember that because giving them a second chance is like, “Setting yourself on fire to keep them warm.” Breaking a heart is not a small matter but it is to them. People who truly value you will not hurt you that way and that right there is the truth of the matter.

“You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.” Oprah Winfrey

Always remember your life is important. You are worthy of having good people around you and leave the mean ones out of the picture. The jealous types will make you feel like you’re guilty of doing something wrong all the time. Just because someone smiled at you, you’re at fault. If someone shows you attention, they go off the deep end. These types are insecure about themselves so everything you do is somehow not to their liking. You define your own life and stay away from these control freaks. You have nothing in common with them and love is not about control. You deserve a relationship where you can co-exist with mutual respect, love, tolerance and freedom. The freedom to be as you are. Write your own script and do it well. Get rid of all the things that do not serve you and move forward with confidence knowing that the right person is out there and waiting.

Work on finding the right people to help you build your world. The ones who will stand by you, add value to your life, be there when times are tough but most of all the ones who will show you through their actions that they are willing to make a mean world better by being the kind of people you deserve. Do not settle for anything less. Choose your friends carefully but more importantly guard your heart, know your worth and place boundaries where they need to be placed. It’s a mean world out there and not everyone is going to look out for you. You’ll have to learn if the people within your inner circle are destroyers or builders. Get rid of the destroyers, the ones who sap your energy, bring you down and are just fair-weather friends and hold onto the builders because they’re the ones who want to see you thrive and succeed in whatever you choose to do.

“It’s unfortunate because people have become so comfortable being mean.” Rachel Lindsay

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Standing Strong (Archives)

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Weakness is easy. It doesn’t take much to get you there. It could be brought about by the breakdown of a relationship or a situation in life that brings us to our knees. During those times, “weakness” will come around holding out its hands to us and more often than not we are more than willing to stay for awhile and wallow there in the darkness. Be very careful of weakness, it’s a false friend. It is inadequate, feeble, lacking in firmness and strength is not one of its attributes. Know when to let go and stand back up.

“We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it as not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Choose your lessons carefully. If you don’t want darkness than don’t stand in it. There are things that happen in life that we have no control over but there are the ones that we know exactly what we are getting into. For example, the people we choose to have relationships with knowing full well that we are headed for disaster from the get go or the things we shouldn’t do and yet it beckons and we go for it ignoring the consequences or choosing to go into the lion’s den knowing full well what is awaiting us there. Choose to stand in the light.

“If you want the light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining.” Guy Finley

Not always easy I know. Being strong when faced with adversity is not always doable. Being strong when standing in the dark and faced with the unknown is scary. Being strong when all you want to do is throw up your hands is one of the hardest things to do. I learned my hardest lessons not when things and situations were at their best but when they were at their most difficult. The lessons we learn when we are at our most vulnerable are the ones that help us as we make our way through life and the ones that help to shore us up for the lessons to come. The ones that teach us we are not breakable but pliable and like that tree that moves and bends as the wind picks up, we too are fully capable of handling whatever life throws our way.

“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” Bob Marley

Have an amazing day.

Letting Go

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I’ve written about letting go before but this time it is about letting go of adult children. It is interesting how they come into your life and turn your world upside down from the first moment you hear that cry, that helpless cry which signals for you to step in and take over as their protector and their safe zone. However, as they start to grow, life becomes a series of letting go.

“Letting go of adult children involves trusting your parenting, allowing them to make mistakes for growth, setting healthy boundaries, and shifting from directing to supporting.”

I’ve been grappling with the idea of “letting go” ever since my son got the news shortly before Christmas that he got the job he has been dreaming of. I couldn’t have been prouder as he stood there wearing the “cat who swallowed the cream” look and gave me the news. I was PROUD but a day later, I found myself gasping for air. The move would mean he would be four hours away, an eternity to me. Even though university was two hours away and I went from, “I can’t!” to I will survive this. I did. However, there were days when my anxiety took over and I had to talk myself down from the tree I was on. I needed to believe that he would be alright but it was hard to do. Somehow I made it through.

“As a parent, you quickly realize that life is one long series of letting go: watching your kid crawl, then walk, then run, and then drive away.” Deborah Mitchell

The papers are there, he will have to make a decision soon and then it will happen whether I want it to or not. Part of me wants him with me but he is no longer a child, he is a young man getting ready to fly. He is looking forward to a new life and even though the unknown is scary, I sense that he is ready to go.

“Raising your child well is hard. But learning to let them go out into the world and prove that you did your job right is even tougher.” J. Crane

It is TOUGH! We had a long talk yesterday and I see this young man who thinks he has the world in the palms of his hands and he is ready to show the world that he is capable, strong, and ready to rumble! I still see my baby. I guess I always will.

“There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.” Hodding Carter, Jr.

AND

“Loving your adult children means letting them grow, stumble, and soar on their own terms. Independence is their gift to themselves – and your gift to them.” Unknown

I KNOW that when the time comes and I have to let him go again, I will. Until then, I will talk myself into letting him go knowing that he has the wings he needs and I will be the wind under them if ever he needs me.

I’ve taught him well and it is time to fly even if my heart wants to hold a little tighter for just a little while longer.

“Being a good parent requires knowing when to push & when to back off when to help & when to let them make mistakes & then being strong enough to watch them go.” Unknown

I wish you well.

The Questions (Archives)

I wrote this post sometime last year but things haven’t changed much. The only difference is that I’ve stopped dating altogether and keeping company with Chachi, the cat. He’s the main man now but that doesn’t mean that I’ve given up altogether. I’m learning what works and what doesn’t and believe it or not, I’m stronger. The problem is the more I find out about myself, the more I realize that NO ONE is going to be good enough! It comes with the territory. Know yourself and what you will settle for but at the same time be prepared to learn that what you’re looking for doesn’t exist! Or it’s a 100 in a million but that in itself says that there is still a chance. Fingers crossed!

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Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes when it comes to relationships? Why do we gravitate to the same types of people?

These are the questions I ask myself over and over again. It seems that I am drawn to the same types I left behind. It’s been a never-ending cycle and it seems like Groundhog’s Day over and over again to the point that it is horrific and mind-boggling to say the least.

Liars, cheaters and emotionally-unavailable men seem to draw me in like they’re magnetized and I have no willpower when it comes to these types. I walk in gladly like a lamb to the slaughter.

There is a reason so say the experts. They say “opposites attract” and “we are drawn to people who are strong in areas we are weak.” Hmm….there is more to this concept according to them. Two people who have an abusive past will be attracted to each other because they are viewed as equals. However, an abuser is not necessarily attracted to another abuser. He’s attracted to an “abusee” – or someone who will tolerate and enable his abuse. So to make it short and to the point, the “abusee” is familiar with abuse, be it physical, sexual or emotional abuse and so she is attracted to someone who gives her what she’s already comfortable with it.”

LORD HAVE MERCY!

Is there no way out of this pattern? There is, but first you need to know that:

“Simplicity and Complexity need each other.” Unknown

However, there is a way out but not an easy one. You have to work at it with a narrow-minded focus.

Here goes. If you want to attract better, you must be better meaning you need to discard what is within you, the cause for your need to be abused. Find out where it stems from. Your childhood? Adulthood? The experts say look for patterns and don’t sweep what you find under the rug. The only way to learn from it, get past it, is to go through it. Otherwise, you’re doomed to repeat and attract the same types only in a different body!

This is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. As I have said in one of my other post, I am like a heat-seeking missile when it comes to the types I mentioned above. I find them!

Here are some tips from beyourownbrandofsexy.com on how to attract quality or high-value men. First, know yourself well and know what you need in a relationship and what matters to you.

Identify your Needs

Know what works and won’t work for you. Be selective and be ready to discard if something shows up as a red flag. “Loving the wrong person teaches you the red flags to watch out for the next time around.”

Don’t Settle

This is important. We tend to settle when we know that the person is the wrong type only because we tell ourselves that he will change or I can make him change. They don’t change, what they show you is what you get. So how do you stop attracting narcissists and the wrong men? DO NOT let them get close to you. Know what your non-negotiable dealbreakers are and stick to them.

Be your Own Person

This means be your own true authentic self. Say “no” to bad matches. Become your true, authentic self which helps you to gravitate to people who are better matches for you.

Be Persistent

If you want to end up in a solid relationship, persistence pays. This doesn’t mean being persistent in chasing the wrong types but staying true and waiting for the right one to show up. Dating is a learning experience and unfortunately, you’ll have rejections, bad dates and disappointments AND you’ll have to kiss some frogs but if you keep at it and know what you want, you might just land the man of your dreams.

While you’re working on that, take care of yourself as well. No point letting yourself go because that is not going to do it. Lose some weight if you have to, get fit both mentally and physically, take care of your skin and teeth because one guy did ask me to show him my teeth on our first date! They’re out there. Just know that physical appearance matters so present the best version of yourself.

Now, I have to go figure out the patterns in my life which make me attract the same types over and over again. That’s the cycle I need to break! I definitely want to break this cycle of attracting low-value men and having to kiss frogs and hoping that they’ll turn into Prince Charming. Time to get working to put my best self forward armed with the knowledge of exactly what I’ll settle for.

I swear if this doesn’t work I’m giving up altogether!

Have an amazing day.