Tag: love

When Silence Speaks (Archives)

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Sometimes we think that silence is just that, a certain quietness where nothing happens. It is a void that is soothing but nothing much comes out of it. I beg to differ. I have found that if you listen carefully, “silence” has much to say.

“It’s been said that actions speak louder than words, sometimes, it’s what you don’t say or do, that sends the loudest message.” Carlos Wallace

Quite often when something doesn’t go our way and we are hurt by another’s words or actions, the first reaction is to let it rip. Let it all out and show them how you feel and during those moments, words are aplenty and so are emotions. However, when all is said and done and you are wrung dry, more often than not you realize that you didn’t achieve anything through those outbursts of the unsavory kind.

“Once you’ve matured, you realize silence is more powerful than proving a point.” Unknown

Maturity doesn’t show up wearing bells and it does not say, “Here I am, take me and use me.” It shows up when you least expect it and when you’ve gone though the growing up process. The one that takes you on the ups and downs, the one where you find yourself down on your knees and the one that shows you there is a better way of doing things without going ballistic. It is the quiet gentle knowledge of knowing that you deserve better and you will move on with grace. No shouting or being loud needed.

“And suddenly I stopped explaining, stopped fixing, and just moved on. I learned that silence speaks louder than words. No response is a response. Now, I don’t chase. I don’t care and I let people feel the weight of their own choices.” Unknown

Easier said than done? I know because I’ve been there. Things are hard and life is harder still but learning to navigate choppy waters is a must if you want life to let up on you. If something doesn’t go your way, take it in stride. If someone doesn’t choose you, let him or her go. If life isn’t going like it’s supposed to, stop, take note, and then move on knowing that whatever it is that life throws your way, you are fully capable of handling it. Let silence be your guide and your best friend. There is much to be learned during your bout with silence if you’ll only listen.

“Silence is not empty, it is the loudest answer.” Unknown

Not only that, it gives you the ability to get your message across WITHOUT SAYING A WORD!

Try it the next time you want to let someone have what is coming to them or you are chomping at the bit to say your piece. Stop and move in silence.

Have an amazing day.

Showing Up

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“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.” Brene Brown

It is also the hardest thing to do. Pulling the covers over your head, staying in bed and letting the day carry on without you is the norm and putting all your attention on the one thing or couple of things that tell you, not showing up is the way to go. I think we’ve all had those days and for some, it is a daily existence and for others it is a short stop before we pick up and carry on. Whichever the case may be for you, staying put is not going to do it. It takes courage to move on.

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Brene Brown

Your first step to showing up for yourself is to show up as you are, fears and all. “Showing up is the act of being present and vulnerable, and courage is the ability to do so despite being afraid.” I realized that I haven’t been showing up for myself these past two weeks. Fear has stepped in and peace of mind is nowhere to be seen. I seem to be wading through thick gooey mud and each step is painstakingly slow if at all. I want the day to go away and staying under the covers is where I would like to spend my days. However, something stopped me in my tracks yesterday. Call it courage, call it intuition, or just my mind telling me to “BUCKLE UP!” and MOVE! It worked.

Today is another day and I am moving for all I’m worth. It’s not the physical kind of moving I’m talking about but the mental and emotional kind. Enough of the self-pity, the negative self-talk, and the “I can’t do this” mentality. I know I can and I will!

“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up.” Unknown

It is exactly what I’m doing today.

I’m on the move again and I intend to show up for myself with bells on! Taking your power back from whatever is holding you back is a necessary step, letting go of people who bring you down is important but more than that, knowing that you are fully capable of handling whatever comes your way is one big leap towards moving on with life.

“There will be moments in life when showing up for yourself will mean leaving behind those who don’t.” Alex Elle

Show up, take life by the horns, and move forward decisively. Exactly what I’m doing today. The sun is showing up after the storm last night and it seems to be a clear signal to get MOVING!

Have an amazing day.

The Cheesecake Standoff!

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I have a cheesecake fetish, plain and simple. Battling this addiction has been a big problem. I call it an addiction because if I go by the bakery where they sell this scrumptious piece of nothingness, I CAN’T SAY NO!

It is nothing fancy, just the plain variety with no embellishments. No cream, no fruits, no nothing, but it is the plain kind that I love. Just one bite and I feel the heavens opening up! I call it my one sin. Pastries are out, cookies are out, chocolates are out, and other kinds of cakes are out. I don’t crave them like I do cheesecake. Add a cup of coffee to it and my eyes light up like a Christmas tree!

Well, a month ago I summoned my willpower in and we had a heart to heart. My willpower worn. Cheesecakes were out the door as well. I turn a blind eye whenever I walk past that bakery and sometimes the women who work there call out saying they have fresh cheesecake! That’s how well-known I am.

Anyway, I haven’t had cheesecake for over a month. I needed to get ready for my medical procedure and that required a strict diet. One of my own making. I decided I was throwing everything out that would jeopardize my health just to help the doctors along. I was fit as a fiddle when I went in and breezed out of there looking like a thousand bucks! Why not a million? Well, that would be stretching it. Anyway, I am recovering well. However, the second procedure is about three weeks away and I need to stick to my diet, more than the first time because I’m not allowed to do any workouts. Bah Humbug! Yes, that’s my favorite word of the moment and since I don’t cuss I’ll stick to Bah Humbug. I think it has a nice ring to it.

Coming back to the cheesecake, I drove the car today. If I feel any pain then STOP was what the doctors told me. I drove it last week but just around the village and I did fine, but didn’t have the guts to go any further. Today, I got tired of moping around the house. I got in and started the car. It came to life and was ready to go. We drove to the next village where my favorite cafe is and right across it is the bakery. The cafe was closed for some reason but the bakery, well, it was ready for me. There in the window staring back at me were two slices of cheesecake! They seemed to be taunting me.

Should I?

What’s the excuse? The weather is nice, the sun is shining, and a slice would go perfectly with a cup of coffee.

I walked in and the women smiled.

“Long time no see.”

Hmm….

“Cheesecake? We have more in the refrigerator.”

The other people waiting in line eyed me.

“Just those two pieces please.”

“Sure? We can get you more.”

God, I wanted the whole cheesecake! Meekly, I mumbled, “Just two slices please.”

They smiled again knowing full well that the gates of hell was slowly but surely opening! Just kidding.

I walked out with the cheesecake dreaming of a fantastic afternoon.

Here we are, it is around 2 in the afternoon and I haven’t touched them. They are sitting in the fridge and every time I open the door, they GRIN! I just did my 7 minute walk in the garden thinking that will help but it is not working. I want to throw caution to the wind and just dive in.

My willpower is whispering or rather roaring in my ear saying, “You’ve been so good, why throw it all away!”

Will it win? What do you think?

The sage continues……

Have an amazing day.

Stop Shrinking! (Archives)

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Did someone say something that rubbed you the wrong way? Did it make you feel less than you are? Did a bad relationship make you feel unworthy and not enough? Did it help to shrink you even further? Does the environment you live in make you feel that you don’t belong? A job where you don’t fit in? Cruel remarks that make you feel smaller than you are?

“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” Rumi

However, it happens in this day-to-day existence of ours. It has been said that it’s a cruel world out there and more often than not, it is. It doesn’t always build you up, it doesn’t make you feel worthy and “lacking” is the word that comes to mind. How do you walk tall in a world that doesn’t always care about your feelings, your mental health and more importantly the “YOU” as a person? The answer lies within. If you’re looking for validation from the outside world, you’re looking in the wrong place.

“Learn to love YOURSELF -first- instead of loving the idea OF OTHER PEOPLE loving you.” Unknown

If you only feel worthy when someone gives you a compliment, you are going about it the wrong way. If you are waiting for that special someone to validate love for you, it’s time to take a good hard look at your perception of love and what it means. If a two-timing no good individual can pull the rug from under your feet and leave you feeling like you don’t matter, it’s time to find that strength within, and to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND BETTER! Once you do, none of the above will matter. You become stronger, you learn what is important to you and you build yourself up from the inside out which is important. It is your source of comfort and strength but more than that, you won’t be looking for validation from the outside world. It is an inside job and you will start attracting the right kind of people as well.

“You are not enough!” “You are lacking!” “You can’t measure up to what life is asking of you because you don’t have it in you!” Is that your inner critic talking or rather berating you? Yes, it can be loud and it can be destructive if you let it take over. Each time you hear that negative voice within you getting loud, listen but don’t take it to heart and if it gets too destructive, send it packing! Here’s the truth. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE and YOU ARE FULLY CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” Lucille Ball

When was the last time you paid attention to the person you carry around with you? I know I lost track of that person when the two cats moved in and my world was turned upside down. Paying attention to the person who mattered took a back seat and the inner critic had full run so much so that I became smaller than I am and doubts started creeping in. I’m not enough was the message, loud and clear. I listened and ran with it.

“Love yourself first, because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.” Unknown

Be kind to yourself, speak to yourself like you would to someone you love, show yourself some self-care, take time out for yourself, pamper yourself, and stop to smell the roses. Once you do that, you will find that the people who bring you down, the ones who’ve hurt you, and the ones who take you for granted will disappear because others will come in to take their place. You attract what you reflect and better will walk in and want to stay. Your new reality will take some getting used to and letting go of those that no longer matter will sometimes be hard. However, one thing’s for sure, “shrinking” will become a thing of the past. It all starts with loving yourself first.

Until then,

“Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you recognize it.” Rena Rose

AND do something about it!

Have an amazing day.