Simply beautiful. The guy is not that bad either!
Tag: love
The Loop
It’s that time of the year again. Time to take notice that you’ve been gone and another anniversary is staring me in the face. I was talking to the gardener yesterday and he mentioned that the roses are looking gorgeous this year.
I have roses of every color in the garden thanks to you. You not only sent me roses every chance you got so much so that the florist said, “You are a lucky one!” whenever they delivered those bouquets. The flowers have stopped coming. I do get some now and then but not to the degree when you were here. However, you made sure that I would never forget by planting all those rose bushes in the garden and each time I see them in bloom, I say “thank you.” Yesterday was no different. The heatwave is taking its toll on the plantlife but there is this one rosebush, it has big red gorgeous blooms, and it was gloriously in bloom. I told the gardener, “Mike planted those.” He said, “they are beautiful.” And they are.
Another year is rolling around. Yes, the memories are fading like they usually do with time. However, some stick around like it was only yesterday. The years haven’t dimmed the power they have to show me in 3D vividness like it had happened only yesterday. The shared laughter, the hugs, the kisses, and the caring. One memory comes to mind simply because I’m about to go through it again. This time around, I’ll be alone.
I needed a CT scan or was it a MRT. I had never had one before and I was claustrophobic to boot. I told you, I couldn’t do it. You said, “We’ll get through it.” When I walked into the room I was beside myself with anxiety and I kept whispering, “I don’t think I can do this.” You took one look at me and asked the radiologist, “Can I stay in the room?” He answered that the radiation wouldn’t be good for you. You grabbed my hand and without hesitation you said, “I’m staying.”
I remember you standing next to the machine, holding my hand as the machine went into action. Every time I moved, you whispered, “I’m here.” It took about 30 to 40 minutes and I made it through simply because you were there. You were that kind of man. Kind, gentle, and caring.
I’m sure you are doing just fine in heaven and probably giving the angels a run for the money! I know you are watching over me as well because you said you would. So each time I see a beautiful rose in bloom in the garden, I say “thank you.”
I also remember the songs you used to send me. Songs that told me how you felt, where you stood as far as the relationship, and what you thought of me. It was all so clear and there were no guessing games. Life was easy with you and I miss that. As another year rolls around, I want to share this song with you. It’s my turn now to bring flowers to your grave and to let you know how I feel.
I MISS YOU, ALWAYS WILL.
Thank you.
R.I.P
The Hard Years
It was hands down the time during the breakup of my marriage. I didn’t know “HARD” until then. I was caught between a rock and a hard place and there was no escaping the pain, the confusion, the insecurities, and the feelings of loneliness that followed.
The adulterous affair he had tore our marriage apart but I think it started way before that. Success got to his head and arrogance did the rest. The problem was I was still caught up in being his wife and mother to our little boy. I didn’t see it coming. When it did I was broken beyond belief. Should I walk away? Can we mend what was broken? What about trust? Can I ever trust him again? That last part gave me the answers to my other questions. I couldn’t and without trust we were going nowhere. Divorce was next on the line. It was a very painful time because I believed in forevers and “forever” was lying in pieces around my feet along with my broken heart.
The thing that got me through the ordeal was my little boy. I saw the pain every time he looked at us. His world was changing and he wanted it to remain the same. However, there was no going back. I became his rock in more ways than one. His father was off and running. Any woman was fair game and we were left on the backburner or rather as an afterthought.
I took on the role of mom and dad and I stood by my boy like a lioness guarding her cub. Did it lessen his pain? I don’t think so but it did help him to know that he was loved and no matter what I was there for him.
The “angel” walked in after that and slowly but surely, I learned to stand back up again. No, I wasn’t fully healed, that took a long time and I couldn’t love him like he wanted. Every time he got close, I shut the door behind me! The thing about him was that he had both feet in and wasn’t about to leave. He stayed until it was his time to go. He showed me there is better out there. The kind of love that doesn’t take you for granted, the kind of love that doesn’t buckle at the slight suggestion of a storm, and the kind of love that didn’t ask but was willing to give selflessly. The sad thing, I wasn’t ready to accept it at the time.
I call him “my angel” because I truly believe that he was sent in to help me find my way again. He got me through the “the hard years” and just when I was finding my feet again, he left. His job was done.
Daily writing prompt
What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it?
Switzerland
A long time ago when I was doing my armchair traveling, I came across pictures of this faraway land and it kept me captive. I told myself that one day I will visit this gorgeous place and even live there.
Life had other plans! I would travel the world experiencing life in some strange and wonderful places but I never made it to Switzerland! I lived in Asia and then I met my German ex and life got turned on its head. We fell in love, got married, and I got pregnant. He wanted to move back home, to a tiny little village that time forgot. Sometimes you can hear a pin drop.
I’ve raised my son here, learned to speak the language fluently, got divorced, and am learning to live here on my own. I think I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. It’s not perfect but it is perfect enough for me. If you’re a writer, this is a dream place. It is quiet so that you can hear yourself think. The fields are gorgeous and some days you may think that no one else exists! There is very little to do here but that’s okay for a recluse like me. I love the peace and quiet. The people take some getting used to, they are set in their ways and they are way too conservative. However, when you get to know them and they invite you into their circle, that’s right “invite” you in, you’ve made it and you are treated like one of them. It is how I feel now.
I’ve been to many places in the world but if I could live anywhere in the world, I would pick this one. Why? It feels like home and there is this certain something about this place. Perhaps, it is the mixture of old and new or the smiles and waves that tell me I am welcomed here, but most of all I like the feel of safety that this place gives me. It is almost crime-free and you CAN leave your doors open at night but that’s where I draw the line!
I’m not there yet and I don’t think I ever will be. I have a German friend who leaves all the windows and doors open throughout the day and through the night! He says, “there is nothing to worry about!” Hmm…from his mouth to God’s ears!
I’m in a perfect place, one that works for me and that right there is the important part.
The Helicopter Has Crashed!
The definition of a helicopter mom is, “a mother who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of her child or children.” Furthermore, “helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead, overseeing every aspect of their child’s life.” Guilty as charged!
My son, the one and only, has managed to do well. He has finished his studies and after landing two jobs but not to his liking, he has landed his dream job or so it seems. He is going into his third month and according to him, “Work is good.” That’s about as much as I can get out of him these days. Just short answers that don’t tell me a thing! I WANT MORE! Yes folks, the helicopter is going down fast and it is not going to be up there anytime soon and it probably never will again.
He’s on the way and keeping everything close to his chest. The problem is I am having a hard time with being fed just morsels! The first time it happened, I thought I would go crazy not knowing where he was, how he was doing, and especially when the trains stopped running and he was left to find his way home on his own! I had to learn to deal with that.
It got easier as time went on. The less he told me, the more I believed that he was alright and doing well. It was my way of surviving the inevitable. He was a young adult and he was ready to fly the coop and mom just had to deal with it. Then I wouldn’t hear from him for a few days and I would ask my ex if he had heard from him. “No, I haven’t heard from him for about a week now.” What?!! That set all the alarm bells going and needed looking into! When he was good and ready, he wrote me a few words, the emphasis being on few! “All good.”
I am writing this because he has a move coming up next weekend. He is moving to his new apartment and he will be able to have his cats with him. I thought it would take place the moment he moved in but I was told from a third source, the ex, that he has a two or three week business trip coming up and it can only happen after he comes back. Why didn’t he tell me?!! The helicopter is going down fast.
He just wrote a few minutes ago saying, “Packing.” I thought he was talking about the move coming up. Nope, he was talking about a trip coming up next week and he will be gone for a week. Where is he going? He doesn’t want to say and I have to step back and not push. The helicopter has CRASHED!!!
I see the same thing with a girlfriend. She has a ten-year-old and she does it one better than me. She is up there flying the skies and I wish I can go back to the times when I knew anything and everything like she does!
The thing is I have to accept that he is growing up fast and is leading a life of his own. So far, he has done well on his own and I will trust that I’ve brought him up well and he knows what he is doing.
By the way, that “helicopter” did a good job of raising the kid!
Have an amazing day.
Lessons I’ve Learned (1)
Last year, I started out on this journey of self-discovery looking for better ways to deal with emotional ups and downs, getting myself back on track, and taking the path unknown. It has been a long journey and I’ve made my mistakes along the way and I knew I would. I’ve fallen and picked myself back up and moved on trying not to look back at closed doors or staying there for too long. Along the way, I had to put this into practice.
“The past is where you learned the lesson. The future is where you apply the lesson, don’t give up in the middle.” Unknown
Honestly, I wanted to give up many times when the going got tough. At times, I thought I didn’t have the courage or the energy to keep moving forward. The finish line was somewhere in the distance and I wondered if I would ever see it. However, I had to have faith and to believe that as long as I kept moving forward, it would show up sooner or later.
“Sometimes life has to turn you upside down, so you can learn how to live more right side up.” Unknown
I am learning that not everything is going to break me. Even though it seems that way at times. Stepping back and seeing it for what it is usually brings more clarity to the whole picture. Taking a deep breath before I tackle the problem has helped me to focus on the problem at hand and not on things I make up in my head. I have a tendency to blow things up making them seem harder than they are. I have learned that problems crop up, it is a part of life. Learning to deal with them is needed and doing it with a clear head, courage, and focus has helped me to overcome and to solve problems as they show up.
“I’ve learned 3 lessons this year, to leave people where they are at, accept situations for what they are and that not every action needs a reaction.” Unknown
That last part was and is the hardest for me. I think or rather believe that every action needs a reaction. I am learning that sometimes that action could be no reaction at all. It speaks more than a thousand words could say and leaving it where it belongs, somewhere in the past is action enough.
It has helped to calm my soul, to move on without looking back, and to accept it for what it is. A problem that can’t be solved and so I LET IT BE.
I am learning but I’ve got a long ways to go.
Have an amazing day.
The Three Update!
I haven’t written much lately because I’ve been up to my neck with the three that take up my time and my energy!
Shiro, Galli, and Chachi are a handful. They run the roost and although Chachi, my guy, started out as the boss, he has turned it over to the other two. He is happy spending his days under the stairwell and sleeping his day away. Shiro, the white Persian is the ma’am and she dictates how everything goes. Galli, the long-haired British cat, is the observer and the thinker.
Together, they are a team. A brother and sister twosome. They look out for each other, they are very close and it shows. Unfortunately, this doesn’t set too well with Chachi, the little macho. Shiro has shown Chachi who wears the pants around here and even though he hates it, he has given up and keeps out of her way. She, Shiro, spends most of her time in my bedroom pretending to be asleep but in actuality she is watching everything I do! She loves it when I spray some scent on her. She is a GIRL and there is no mistaking it. Galli is the food guy. He waits around and whenever I head to the kitchen, he is right behind me with the Oliver Twist line, “Please, sir, I want some more.” It was driven by unbearable hunger but in Galli’s case, it doesn’t matter if he is hungry or not, he just wants food!
Lately, I’ve been observing the two and it is amazing how they interact with each other. Every time Shiro meows, Galli comes running to see what is going on. He is her knight in shining armor. This morning, she wasn’t feeling too well so when she finally got up and went to get some food, Galli came walking up to her and gave her a small kiss on her cheek and she returned it. I wanted to gather the little guy in my arms and to smother him with kisses! He is a sweetheart.
They will be gone in a month’s time and I must say, I will miss them. I won’t miss the work and the early morning meowing but I will miss having them around. I bet Chachi will too.
I am learning that I LOVE cats! They are beautiful creatures and there is much you can learn from them if you open your mind to them.
LOL!
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.
‘I’d like to be eight again’, she replied.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big
bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the
Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra
fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie,popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy,
M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted and feeling sick.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
‘I meant my dress size, you f@*#* moron!!
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
I’d add, good husband but pleasing a woman is a next to impossible thing including that dress size!
LOL!
I saw this online and I never expected the ending! It cracked me up. Enjoy.
Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there.
He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal, and the shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look.
One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO:
“What do you think of the stock market situation?”
The CEO arrogantly asks him:
“Why are you so interested in this subject?”
The shoeshine man replies:
“I have 20 million dollars deposited in your bank and I am thinking about investing part of the money in the stock market.”
The CEO of the bank asks:
“What is your name?”
He replies:
“John Smith H.”
The CEO arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Major Accounts Department:
“Do we have a customer named John Smith H.?”
He replies:
“We certainly do, sir! He is an extremely esteemed customer! He has 20 million dollars in his account.”
The CEO leaves the bank, approaches the shoeshine boy, and says:
“Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you to be our guest of honor at our board meeting next Monday and tell us your life story. I’m sure we will have a lot to learn from you.”
At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members:
“We all know Mr. Smith, who makes our shoes shine like no one else. But Mr. Smith is also our valued customer, with twenty million dollars in his account.
I invited him to tell us the story of his life. I’m sure we can learn a lot from him. Please, Mr. Smith, tell us your life story.”
Then, Mr. Smith began to narrate his story:
“I came to this country thirty years ago as a young immigrant from Eastern Europe and with an unpronounceable name. I left the ship penniless in my pocket.
The first thing I did was to change my name to Smith.
I was hungry and exhausted. I started to wander in search for a job, but without success.
Suddenly, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought some apples.
I had two options: eat the apples and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apples for 50 cents and bought more apples with the money.
When I started accumulating dollars, I managed to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polishes and started cleaning shoes.
I didn’t spend a dime on fun or clothes. I only bought bread and cheese to survive.
I saved penny by penny and after a while I bought a new set of brushes and shoe polishes in different shades and colors and increased my clientele.
I lived like a monk and saved every penny. I managed to buy a chair so that my customers could sit comfortably while I cleaned their shoes, which brought me more customers.
I didn’t spend a dime on the pleasures of life. I kept saving every penny.
A few years ago, when the corner shoeshine colleague decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his point, which was a better place than mine.
Finally, 3 months ago, my drug dealer brother passed away and left me 20 million dollars.
How about that ending?!! 🤣🤣🤣
Amazing!
Shiro and Gallahad are two cats who have moved into my place as temporary residents. They will be moving out in about two months but in the meantime, they are learning to cope with a new environment and it hasn’t been easy for all of us.
Shiro, the white Persian is a beauty and she knows it. She loves lovely scents, loves being a girl, but she also loves clean toilets! Some of her time is spent finding a clean litterbox and taking refuge in it! So, I have to clean her up twice a day. Gallahad, the British long-haired cat with the orange eyes is quiet and observes the world as it goes by. He looks menacing but is a sweetheart with a gentle way about him. They are brother and sister. I think he is the bigger brother and she, the younger sister. They watch out for each other.
A few weeks ago someone told me that cats are not humans. I agree they are not humans but it is incredible the human traits they possess and sometimes, they do one better than humans!
I observed this behavioral trait yesterday. Galli is always hungry. He is all about the food and he loves me because I’m his “food lady.” Whenever he gets hungry, he looks for me, rubs up against my leg, and purrs up a storm. Those love-filled orange eyes always get me and it did the same yesterday. We went downstairs and I got his favorite pack of food. Yes, they are spoiled rotten and now, they are into gourmet food! Anyway, I opened the pack and turned around to put it in his bowl when Shiro showed up. She was hungry as well. I emptied the food into Galli’s bowl. He headed towards it when Shiro cut in front and proceeded to eat from his bowl. I thought Galli would try to push her away but I watched in amazement as he stood right next to her and watched as she chomped away! He did not push, he did not shove, he just waited patiently.
After she had eaten, she placed a kiss on his cheek, he kissed her cheek back and then proceeded to eat what was left in the bowl. I was amazed at Galli’s behavior and the tenderness he showed his little sister. Just for being the little gentleman he is, he got an extra pack of food and a kiss on his forehead.
Animals have many layers to them. Some may see them as “just” animals and nothing more but if you observe them, you will see the subtle nuances that make them stand out, ones that make you look at them with different eyes as I did.
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