Tag: love

The Big Thaw!

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It happened! Chachi, the cat, decided that it was time to “thaw” and get things moving in the right direction. He has spent the last two weeks going back and forth between normalcy and FROST!

The ice was so thick that I could feel the blast of cold air in the other room! He was upset that I had left him with a cat sitter for four days while I was in the hospital and that to this spoiled brat was a no go. Mommy was his and how dare she leave him all alone with a stranger!

Anyway, around two in the afternoon he walked in with a curious look on his face. I ignored him. He moved closer and brushed up against my legs. Still, I made no move, just sat silently and watched him. He went back and forth a few times and then a loud MEOW followed.

“What do you want? No, I can’t pick you up. I’m sorry.”

“PICK ME UP!”

I know he has been craving to be picked up and held close, a sign that all is well in his world. Unfortunately, it is against doctor’s orders. No bending and no lifting heavy objects. The little snort is heavy enough and believe me, I WANTED TO!

Then he jumped on the bed and the lovefest took off! Lots of kisses followed, purrs, and staying close to mommy was the name of the game. Then he jumped off, ran downstairs and a few minutes later walked back in with a stuffed mouse in his mouth. Dumped it at my feet and looked at me. He wanted to play like we used to. This was a NO GO as well. How do you explain that to a cat?

The poor mouse had lost all its innards and just the shell remained. Did he care? I suppose this is what bullies do. Pick the one that shows least resistance! Anyway, I kicked the mouse with my foot and he went after it. After a few rounds, the ICE was completely thawed by now. He was all lovey dovey again and it has stayed that way.

Evening saw the old Chachi emerge. He was in his element. Sleep was forgotten and he was running riot around the room. By morning, the curtains were skewed, the office door had been opened, the little box next to his toilet was on its head and then he decided it was time to dash across the bed!

This morning, he stood watching me knowing full well he was in trouble. His legs were crossed in front and his green eyes were suspicious.

“I see you had a fun time last night?”

He stood silently eyeing me.

“C’mon let’s go downstairs.”

Was that a sigh of relief? It could have been but he dashed downstairs and took his spot by the window.

We are back to being best buddies and ALL is well in his world.

Have an amazing day.

I Miss the Fields!

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If you’ve been reading my posts, you will know that one of my favorite things to do is to go for a walk in what I call the fields. It is a stone’s throw away from where I live and my spirit flies when I am there.

It has open spaces for as far as you can see with the mountains on one side and the forest on the other. Most days I am alone there and I love walking my usual route all the way up to the apple trees and back. Often I see deer, rabbits, and herons when the season is right.

I know there is work going on there now and preparations are being made to meet the next season rolling in. Yes, the farmers do part of the job but nature does the rest. It is like clockwork and before you know it, the harvesting has been done and the fields prepared for what is to come next. Soon the trees will lose their summer foliage not before they wear their brilliant colors of fall. The apples would have been harvested and the trees will be bare again bracing for the cooler temperatures to step in and stay for a month or two before the cold sets in. The rabbits will find their hiding places below ground as they prepare for mother nature to do her thing.

It has been exactly two weeks since my operation and my orders are to rest, do small walks of about 7 minutes each time and the rest of the time to put my feet up and to relax. My heart, however, wants something different. I want to be out there walking until I am tired and to take in all that nature has to offer.

“Not possible,” says the doctor. I want to buck those orders but I know what will happen if I do. Sitting here in the office and looking out the window, I can see the fields in the distance. It looks beautiful and I can hear it calling. Yes, we know each other well. I am a constant visitor and I revel in its glory and my soul finds respite when I am in its presence. I can’t say the same for being cooped up in the house!

Four weeks seems like a lifetime away and perhaps a week or two afterwards for the wound to heal before I get an okay to pick up my regular routine. I HOPE! Until then, I will have to bide my time, look longingly out the window, and perhaps dream of walking out there again.

What will it look like the next time around? Perhaps it will be well into fall and maybe, fingers crossed, I will get to see the beautiful colors and experience the beautiful music that the trees make when the wind rustles through their leaves.

I hope it will be sooner than later!

Have an amazing day.

Chachi’s Blue Mood

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The little guy is sad. He lost his two buddies recently when they went back to their daddy. I’m talking about Shiro and Galli, temporary guests at my place. They belong to my son and after a short stay, it was time for them to go. So, he lost two best buddies.

He was still navigating that loss when he was faced with abandonment! My going in for an operation and having to spend time away from him DID NOT set too well with him. There was no other choice. I got him a cat sitter and she would come in twice a day to make sure he was alright. The pics she sent was of a grumpy cat who didn’t want to have anything to do with her! I came home after four days and his face looked like he had been crying! He also kept his distance from me.

I couldn’t hold him because he was too heavy and I had orders not to lift anything heavy. I stroked and cooed to him but nothing helped. One night, he did come over to be cuddled and those purrs took a long time coming. I thought we had crossed the bridge to forgiveness but the next day, he was back to being the same.

The traffic, well-wishers, didn’t help either. They meant well but for Chachi they were encroaching on his sacred space again so it was tough. He ate very little and kept his distance from me. He wasn’t used to all the noise and the chatter of people talking. It was just me and him most days so this disruption to his regular routine was a no go.

It has been more than a week since I’ve been home and he is slowly warming up. I have given him his vitamins, brushed him, kissed him several times, and tried to hug him standing up. That was hard! In the evening, he started cuddling again but he is still suspicious. I whispered, “I am sorry.” Last night, he stayed beside me for most of the night although the purrs would come and go. It wasn’t a constant.

This morning, a new Chachi appeared. He was happier and wanted to play. Purrs are aplenty and he is following me around again. However, here’s the problem. I have another OP at the beginning of October and he will have to go through the same procedure again.

I wish there was another way.

Less Heavy-Handedness

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My parents were hands-on when it came to raising a child. There was strict discipline, no talking back, do as we say, no bucking the rules, and definitely no DISRESPECT!

It was tough growing up in such a household because at times I wanted to spew like a volcano and let them know that I wasn’t going to stand for it anymore. However, I kept it all inside and had to find other avenues of letting my frustrations out. Running wild in the woods was one such way.

I’m not saying they were bad parents, probably the opposite. However, they took discipline to a new level and it wasn’t to my liking. The thing I do differently is to raise my child with less discipline and more understanding. I also tell him that I love him everyday. My parents forgot that part in the hectic and chaotic world of raising a brood! I wanted to hear those words badly but they just went about it a different way. As a parent, I want my child to know that he is loved unconditionally, no guessing games involved.

Discipline is hard here in Germany. The child raising model is different.They emphasize, “independence, self-reliance, and social integration.” All fine and good but discipline is sorely lacking and respect, well, it is right up there with discipline. My neighbor’s kid used to call or rather scream his mother’s first name when he needed help. It shocked me at first but different strokes for different folks I suppose.

Mine was never allowed to do that. I doled out disciplinary measures and my ex, a German, didn’t agree. Time-out when the child was acting up was cruel and inhuman punishment, according to him. I had to navigate both sides, but I must say that I’ve raised a good boy. He is a young adult now and doing well on his own. He knows he is loved and he is independent starting to travel the world because his job requires it.

I’ve learned to let him go although the “helicopter rotor blades” are ready to take off any minute if needed! I am still there to talk with if he needs that support, I let him have his say, and anything he wants to tell me, I am there for him with a listening ear and a warm embrace.

Those are the things I do differently and I think it has worked well so far. Respect is still hard because at times he kicks up his heels and at those times, I give him space. Sometimes I get a sorry but seldom and that is okay too. I am standing on the sidelines now watching him take off and I wish him well.

I’m still here if he needs me.

Daily writing prompt
What’s something you do completely differently from how you were raised?
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Ode to Google

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“Hello darkness, my old friend/ I’ve come to talk with you again”

Remember the lyrics. It was an old song sang by the rock duo Simon and Garfunkel and it was about “the inability of people to communicate with each other.” A beautiful song from a beloved duo.

Now, take out the “darkness” part and replace it with Google and that’s where I stand with Google now. It is my best buddy, my mentor, my go to for everything I’m unsure of, and it keeps my night moving! It is also a wealth of information at your fingertips. Google Search is a godsent for people like me meaning the worrywarts. When something pops into my head and I need answers right away, there it is, my tried and tested true friend. I almost feel like I have someone right there in the room with me at times!

The recent health scare had me relying on Google even before the doctors could set the record straight. I walked in armed to the teeth and knew more than some of those doctors did and at times I would catch them viewing me suspiciously. “Who is she and how come she knows so much and where is her whitecoat?” Hmm…..the problem with knowing everything and more can be a detriment at times. I was hyped to the gills, fear took hold, and I had no peace because I KNEW the risk factors and that in itself was enough to stop me from going through with what needed to be done.

It told me everything from checking in, what to expect, how to prepare, what comes after, what to watch out for, and the recovery period right through to Week 4! Wow! I knew everything and when the doctors walked in, I was ready to bombard them with questions. Yes, you guessed it. They thought I was a royal pain in the you know what!

A friend said recently, “I hate Google!” I think he was going about it the wrong way. Embrace it and it does wonders for your psyche, your well-being, and to put your mind at ease. Not always! There were times when I would ask something and it would switch to Spanish! I would say, “Why Spanish?”

“Oops sorry, I accidentally hit the wrong button!”

Or the time, I would ask something and it would keep repeating the same stuff.

“You’ve already answered that question.”

“Sorry, let’s start again.”

I guess with everything there are glitches and they show up now and then but Google, my friend, you are what I need right now. I can do almost everything without leaving home and everything I need to know is just a fingertip away!

Thank you for keeping me company when the night is long and lonely, for making the silence a little less foreboding, and for easing my stress and tension by arming me with knowledge, the kind I need to survive this ordeal.

I’M A BIG FAN!