The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy. I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I started jumping up and down along with her.
She said, “I have some really great news.”
I said, “Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.”
She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, and told me that she was pregnant.
I knew that she had been trying for awhile and told her I thought it was great and that I couldn’t be happier for her.
She said, “There’s more.”
I asked, “What do you mean?”
She said, “Well we are not having just one baby. We are going to have twins.”
Amazed at how fast she could know that so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.
She said, “I went to Walmart and they actually had a home pregnancy test in a twin pack. Both tests came out positive!”
Being on dating websites or portals is hard enough without having to wade through the minefield of “scammers” who come across as the nicest guys on the planet!
It started out as a nice day yesterday until I looked at one of the dating website I was on to see what was going on. Surprisingly, I had many invites. Boys who could be as young as my son, men professing love without even having met me and one guy who seemed like a viable candidate. He was tall, nice-looking and his profile read well or rather, it got my atttention. He was very interested just from reading my profile and my pic which is normal I guess. There is nothing else to go on. Anyway, he was much YOUNGER and I told him, “Sorry, you seem nice but I don’t go for younger men.”
HIM: “Just a few years makes no difference and I don’t care about age. There is something about you that touches me.”
Hmm…..good line and to a lesser individual one not well-versed in “scamming” this would definitely be a pull to jump into that sinkhole! He was dealing with someone else but he wasn’t aware of it yet.
HIM: “Tell me something about yourself and PLEASE give us a chance.!”
So I did tell him a little about myself but kept it general.
HIM: “I like you! There is just something about you, I don’t know what.”
The “something” could be that I am a pro in seeking out and discarding scammers!
HIM: “I am a Director of……a big job and I have a lot of responsibility.”
ME: “That seems like a big job so why interested in me? I’m sure you have a lot of women interested in you. My ex did. Just his job alone brought women out of the woodwork.”
HIM: “Please don’t tar all men with the same brush! I am honest, loyal and I don’t run around!”
This said with righteous indignation. The “I don’t run around part” did appeal to me but there was SOMETHING that wasn’t quite right about this guy. One thing, in one pic he had light hair and in the other he had dark hair! His explanation, when I spend time in the sun, it gets lighter and when not, it is darker. Hmm….but the dark-haired guy doesn’t even look like you! I kept that to myself.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I said alright let’s talk on the phone. Silence from his side. This morning I got a message which told a sad story about him and that he wasn’t in town BUT if I sent him my Whatsapp number, we can stay in touch until he gets back home.
My answer: “Sorry, I don’t give out my number to strangers!”
Nothing so far but I am sure he is plotting something. Scammers! They make online dating a nightmare and a half! However, it is not just the scammers that make traipsing around the dating minefield a horror but the others wearing the mantle of narcissist, married and dating, affair seekers and young men looking for experience! If it is not one, then it is the other.
Lord have mercy!
Update: He just wrote and he says he understands that I am cautious. In today’s world, you can’t be too careful.
HIM: “I’ll be back in town at the weekend. Let’s meet for coffee. We’ll do it your way.”
Hmm….threw me for a loop that one. A nice guy? Should I meet him? What if scammers have evolved and are doing the “meeting” thing now? I don’t know folks but this is perplexing. I’ll keep you updated.
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” Pema Chodron
I took my walk this morning hoping to clear my head of the destructive thoughts that had been given a front-row seat last night. Something happened yesterday that threw my nicely-ordered emotions into chaos and anger emerged with vengeful thoughts ready to take aim and to shoot my opponent down and to slay the dragon with no ifs, ands or buts!
My mom once said, “You’re a Scorpio and like that scorpion you come out ready to sting when backed into a corner.” I tend to agree with her since I’ve put that “stinger” front and center before.
I came face to face with someone who was not only obnoxious but she didn’t give a flying flip about it. Having a discussion with her was like banging your head against a cement wall. Her goal was to get me down to her level and for me to wrestle in the mud with her. I was angry but I kept my cool and walked away patting myself on the back for standing my ground. However, I wanted to put that “stinger” out there and to let her have a dose of her own medicine!
I CHOOSE PEACE!
“Distance is my new answer to inconsistency, disrespect and bullsh*t. My mental peace is my priority. I simply remove access to me.”
The woman in question is a fascist. She was as ugly outside as what she stood for. An old battle-ax who had left her “Nazi” boots back in her closet! There, I’ve said it! Anyway, I spent the evening going over the things that bugged me. The thing is, you can’t talk sense or make someone see the light when they are so steeped in hate, intolerance and ugliness.
I CHOOSE PEACE!
Learn to be done, not mad, not bothered , just done.
Protect your peace at all costs. Unknown
The sun is shining and I just passed the guy with the dog. We are still beating around the bush. Today, I said, “Good morning” as we passed but he was tongue-tied and looked like a statue frozen in time and just stared! Oh well, some things are not meant to be.
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, “No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I’ve been in a brothel!” The second barber turned to Barack and said, “How about you, Mr. Obama?” Barack replied, “Go right ahead, my wife Michelle doesn’t know what the inside of a brothel smells like.”
I picked up a hitchhiker. The man got in my car and said, “Thank you for picking me up, but I mean how do you know I am not a serial killer or something?”
I said, “I don’t know for sure, but the chances of 2 serial killers being in one car would be astronomical.”
This is a nice one. I read it somewhere and it made me sit up and take notice because quite often we let our “value” go unnoticed and settle for way less than we are worth.
A father said to his son, “You graduated with honors. Here is a Volkswagen Beetle that I bought many years ago….it is over 50 years old, but before I give it to you, take it to a dealership downtown and ask how much they are offering you.”
The son went to the dealership, came back to his father and said, “They offered me $10,000 because it looks very used.” The father said, “Take it to the pawn shop.”
The son went to the pawn shop, came back and said, “They only offered me $1,000 because they say it is too old.”
Finally, the father asked his son to take the car to a classic car club and show it there. The son took the car to the club, came back and said, “Some people at the club offered me $100,000 because it is a very rare car and sought after among the members.”
The father said to his son, “I wanted you to understand that the right place appreciates you in the right way. If they don’t value you, don’t be angry, it just means you’re in the wrong place. Those who know your value are the ones who truly appreciate you. Never stay in a place where they don’t recognize your value!
Know your worth, know your value and if you are not appreciated, LEAVE The right person will know your worth and will appreciate you for who you are.
Movement is needed in all aspects of our lives. Digging in your heels and staying put never works. It might for a short time but never in the long run. When life shows us its idiosyncrasies, human nature is quick to respond and oftentimes we respond by digging in our heels and thumping our nose at it. The problem is the more you dig in your heels, the bleaker life feels, that’s because:
“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Rachel Wolchin
What is the true meaning of life? Many have tried to find a definition but no one knows for sure. One thing is for sure and that is life happens. It doesn’t stand still and it moves faster than we want it to at times.
“Once a wise man was asked, ‘What’s the meaning of life?’ He replied, ‘Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.’
However, to create meaning out of something that is handed to you and you don’t want to face head on is hard, very hard. First thought that comes to mind when I’m faced with ‘hard’ is, I am going to dig in my heels and ignore it for all its worth. Life, on the other hand, is not going to take no for an answer. Adapt or stay where you are and deal with the consequences of your non-action and that could be worse than what it throws your way. If you want to have the upper hand, you’ve got to MOVE!
John Wooden says,
“If we fail to adapt, we fail to move forward.”
Isn’t that the absolute truth? In order to accept and move on, you first have to change your mindset and make a conscious effort to move on. Where? There are no clear-cut answers and that is the scary part. It seems the outcome is all up to you. Putting one foot in front of the other is needed and taking small steps is needed too. Staring at the four walls in front of you and howling at the moon is not going to do it. You need to MOVE!
You need to take what is handed to you, sieve through the pieces and make sense out of it. Say, I can do this and go do whatever it is that needs to be done and do it. This move is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage and unrelenting strength plus trust that it will all turn out well in the end. Sometimes all it takes to climb that insurmountable mountain is attitude. A positive attitude combined with never giving up will get you to the top of the mountain and beyond. MOVE!
Albert Einstein once said:
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
I like this one better.
“Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles M. Schulz
Always remember, you can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you choose to stay in one place and refuse to MOVE! Don’t let life pass you by. Keeping up is what it is all about.
What is peace? It is not only the absence of war but there is this other kind that is of the utmost importance to some of us. The personal kind where a state of “calmness, inner quiet, and freedom from stress, anxiety, or internal emotional conflict,” reigns supreme. This form of peace is hard to achieve and even when we do find it, it is usually temporary and doesn’t last for long.
I had every intention of embracing peace and tranquility in my life yesterday but it took but one person to smash it to pieces. What happened? It is not important what it was about but it is important that I let that person control how I reacted and responded to what he had to say. I found that the rest of my day was ruined and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t get back to where I had started from. One of peace and tranquility.
The following quotes speak to the heart of the matter and on how to find that state of unshakeable peace one that remains regardless of whatever happens around you.
“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” Dalai Lama
I let someone else’s insensitivity and utter carelessness shake what I had built piece by piece. Time to take note and do it differently.
“Nature is the purest portal to inner peace.” Angie Weiland-Crosby
I agree totally. Nature is my sanctuary in moments of stress and chaos and it never fails to soothe and to calm my frazzled nerves.
“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” Pema Chodron
I did exactly that yesterday, I let someone else control my emotions.
“Let go of thoughts that don’t make you strong.” Karen Salmanshon
Thoughts like you are not enough, you are not strong enough and you can’t do it! These are all geared to bring you down and make you smaller than you are.
“Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.” Rumi
This is beautiful. Why hold on when you know that it is dead. Let go and move on.
“Be selective with your battles. Sometimes peace is better than being right.” Unknown
Says it all.
“Welcome to your new era where you prioritize your peace over everything.” Unknown
How do you achieve peace?
According to one source, “to achieve peace, practice mindfulness through meditation and focusing on the present, and cultivate positive habits like gratitude, self-care, and by connecting with nature.”
Most of all, stop letting people rattle you because they know they can. Approach a situation with caution and if you sense that your peace of mind is being taken for a ride, LET GO and move on. Don’t forget to shut the door behind you!
There are people who just care too much about anything and everything. And then there are people who don’t give a flying flip about what you say about them and these are the people who seem to be leading better lives. The ones who don’t let anything get more than skin-deep and if something does land on them like a pesky insect, they are quick to give it a swipe and off they go none the worse for wear.
“Life is better when you stop caring too much.” Unknown
However, there is another group who takes everything to heart. They just care about what has been said, how it was said and what did it mean?!! These people have cubbyholes, a place they go to where they can sit in silence with their woes and take them apart, piece by piece, one action or comment at a time. These are also the people and I include myself in this group, who have a hard time letting go, who swirl in self-doubt because some mean person didn’t want to see them do better or because more often than not, they are doormats. They let people walk all over them leaving wounds, hurts, and a sense of deep unrest in their wake. The truth is there are people whose only goal in life is to put people down. Why? It’s because they are in a bad place and they want someone or anyone to keep them company. Misery loves company as they say.
Knowing this, how do you learn to stop caring too much?
According to one source, you need to set firm boundaries. You don’t have to please everyone and say “no” to situations that drain you.
Put yourself first. Focus on your own well-being and mental health. Take care of yourself.
Invest in personal growth. Pursue your own passions, activities and goals that bring you enjoyment.
Practice mindfulness. Embrace the present moment and don’t let your feelings control you.
Embrace imperfections. Accept that things will go wrong and people may disappoint you.
Build self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness as you would a friend.
Lastly, let go of people and situations that don’t contribute to your well-being. If every time something good happens to you and they are there to tear you down, let them go. Negativity brings more negativity. Throw that “doormat” mentality out the door and look for positive strokes that make you feel good, fill you with positive vibes and one that puts a smile on your face instead of a frown. YOU deserve only the best.
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