mental-health – Page 11

Irresponsible Behavior (Archives)

According to the Collins Dictionary, it is defined as “not showing or done with due care for the consequences of one’s actions or attitudes.”

Basically it points to reckless behavior with no thought for the well-being of someone else and not thinking or worrying about the possible results of said actions. It often stems from a lack of self-discipline amongst other things.

“An irresponsible person has no consideration for others.” Unknown

I have put up with irresponsible behavior for most of my life. I think many of us do. We are known as enablers. We do not hold people accountable for their actions but instead make excuses for them so that they can continue on their merry way wrecking havoc as they go along their path of no consequences and move on with no accountability. One can say, the path to hell is often littered with irresponsible behavior.

“Enabling is a significant part of a codependent relationship. It involves supporting the unhealthy behaviors of someone through action or inaction.” Nedra Glover Tawab

It is a sort of give and take so to speak but only in this case you wind up giving more than you’ll ever receive.

Case in Point:

I have a so-called friend who takes irresponsible behavior to a new high. Let’s just say she walks to her own drumbeat one of no consequences AND recklessness should have been her middle name. Anyway, I’ve enabled some of that behavior by putting up with her actions. It has been mostly showing up late for appointments. In the beginning, it was five or ten minutes late. No big deal right? Now, it has escalated to 30 minutes with a stop to do some shopping in between before she arrives with a smile on her face and no apology whatsoever. Still I let it go. Yes, “enabler” should have been my middle name!

However, what she pulled this past week has brought me to a screeching halt and it is time to step back and reevaluate the situation.

I was invited to her place for coffee and breakfast. I told her I would bring the bread rolls and she said, “Looking forward to it.” I was looking forward to some girl talk and a nice breakfast in a quiet atmosphere and I got both but with an unexpected guest! I showed up at the stipulated time bread rolls in hand. By the way, you can add, “Ms. Punctuality” to my last name! Anyway, she walks to the gate, we exchange pleasantries and walk to the front door. Still nothing was said. She opens the door, I step inside and she turns around and says, “I’ve been sick, very sick.” I stop in my tracks all alarm bells going off. I ask, “What with?”

She says, “Everything!”

Me: “What do you mean everything?”

She answers, “COVID!”

Me, croaking, “When did it start?”

She says nonchalantly, “It started last Thursday.”

Now, I am not good at Math but even I could figure out that it was less than a week ago! I was in the house with all windows and doors closed. Not only was there no means of escape but the bacteria or rather the virus was getting ready to pounce on me!

I could see that the table was set for breakfast. What should I do? Should I flee? Should I tell her that this is irresponsible behavior of the highest form? She says, “Let’s make some eggs. You can show me how you make scramble eggs.”

I mumbled, “No, I don’t want eggs thanks,” feeling like the sheep being led to the slaughter. Then she says, “I did the test this morning, it showed one stroke which means I am ok.” I wanted to scream, “I don’t bloody well care!”

Did I tell you I am a hypochondriac as well?

It went downhill from there. I had a cup of coffee probably tinged with bacteria. I refused the ham and cheese and had 1/2 a bread roll with some butter and marmalade all the time thinking, “It doesn’t matter, I’m going to die anyway!!” I stayed for an hour, yes an hour because of the “enabler” issue and also because leaving any sooner would have been rude on my part. The conversation was stunted to say the least and I tolerated the coughing which was part and parcel of this breakfast date. When I finally got out into fresh air, I took big gulps as if that was going to stop the virus that was making headway into my system shouting gleefully, “Another one bites the dust!”

It has been four days since and I’ve been downing tea laced with Moringa and spiked with lemon and doing an extra dose of meditation everyday. So far, so good. I googled the incubation period and it says 2-14 days after exposure to the virus! Lord, have mercy!

“Two things I can’t stand – Irresponsible behavior and Disloyalty.” Unknown

Emotionally irresponsible behavior is another form of irresponsible behavior. This one points to an “individual who lacks empathy for a loved one, and one who is frequently insensitive to those whom he or she is closest to.”

I’ve enabled such behavior not once, not twice, but more times than I can count on my fingers. To make a long story short, such partners lack the ability to accept responsibility, they lack empathy, they have a fear of commitment, everything is about them, conversations are usually one-sided, they avoid relationship discussions and last but not least, YOU feel alone in the relationship. One such example is a narcissist. A narcissist is an emotionally immature person who often displays all of the symptoms of emotionally irresponsible behavior. They are self-preoccupied and they are “perfect” in their own eyes.

How do you deal with such people. Dr. Henry Cloud has some suggestions as far as “Name Your Boundaries” and standing by them.

I will not allow myself to be constantly criticized or infected with toxic emotional treatment that damages me. If the situation cannot be resolved, I will not expose myself to it.

I will not allow myself to be yelled at or be verbally abused. If that happens, I will distance myself from the relationship until it stops.

I will not allow myself to trust a liar or a cheat. The lying must stop before I trust the person again.

I will not take responsibility for the irresponsible behavior of others.

I will not tolerate any abuse of any kind.

AND MY OWN:

I will not let anyone treat me as if I don’t matter!

I feel a cough and a headache coming on. Time to Google again!

Have a great Easter Sunday and an amazing day.

Change (Archives)

“Your new life is going to cost you your old one.

It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction.

It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. It’s going to cost you being liked, and understood. But it doesn’t matter. Because the people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. And you’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward.

And instead of liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of understood, you’re going to be seen. All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are. Let it go.” Brianna West

Change is never-ending. It is scary but it brings you one step closer to who or what you want to be. It moves you out of your comfort zone and at times it will feel like you are being thrown into the deep end of the pool, sink or swim is your choice. I hope you swim.

Looking back at my life and the things that have held me back, I realize much of it was tied in with stupidity and emotions I could have done without. I could have learned the lessons in a shorter period of time instead of dragging it on but I didn’t.

This thing called love could have been easier on me. I could have made it easier but I wasn’t strong enough. I was in a vulnerable state and it seemed to attract the wrong types because vulnerability is often an invitation which says, “Here I am, come break me!” I should have walked when I saw that it was a foregone conclusion and my holding on would not change the outcome. It never did. I will do better I promise myself. I will let go when I see the truth staring me in the face and walk away with my dignity intact and with my heart back in my chest. I will let go before it drags me down to where I often find myself, right down at ground zero but the changes took a long time coming.

I am stronger today than I was yesterday. My heart still speaks the language of love but it no longer speaks stupid. This journey I am on has changed me. The weak or vulnerable one has been replaced with one who is confident, capable and someone who knows who she is and what she wants out of life. Something inside me screams, “I am woman, hear me roar!” Scary? Well, if you’re the type of man I am accustomed to, then you should be. I am looking to be loved but with eyes open this time. Working on myself is a mindful and daily affair and when I finally step out of my comfort zone, the journey will be complete but change is a lifelong journey and it will be a never-ending one. I can handle it I tell myself because I am no longer who I used to be.

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” James Keller

Have an amazing day.

A Random Encounter

I don’t remember his name but it is not important. The meeting took place while I was in high school. He was the caretaker’s son and I met him one day during break time. We were playing some silly game and there he was sitting on a bench staring into space. I recall the smile on his face as he sensed my presence. It was big and bold and somehow didn’t quite fit that small face. I stopped and stared and he said, “Hello!” and that was the beginning.

He was born blind and his eyes looked clouded like there was a veil over them. I was fascinated by them and we talked for a while. The friendship took off and everyday at break time, I was at his place asking questions and listening to him play the piano. One day he played this beautiful melody and called it my song. He had dreams of being a famous pianist and I could see him achieve that dream. He was very talented. We talked about many things and I think I was the only friend he had. Some days after school, I would practice walking around the house with my eyes closed just to see what it felt like to be him. Summer rolled around and there was a break for some time. When school started back up, I couldn’t wait to see him again. The bench where he usually sat was empty. I looked around and there was no sign of him. Then his mother told me he was gone. I didn’t know what that meant at the time but I felt the pain of losing a friend.

Looking back, it was the awakening of compassion and empathy within me. I didn’t know him well but there was a definite connection between us. A chance meeting that would change my life for the better. I would go on to help others but it all began right there when compassion took hold for a fellow human being and empathy did the rest.

Daily writing prompt

Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.

View all responses

A Decision I Made?

One decision I made in the past that has helped me to learn and to grow is to let go of a relationship that wasn’t working. Holding on is human nature and letting go is too but I tend to hold on longer than it is necessary sometimes until I am blue in the face or till the cows come home!

Therein lies all my problems. I knew it wasn’t working, I could see it for what it was but still I held on for dear life. However, the journey of self-discovery I am on taught me some lessons and one of them is that not all breakups are bad. Sometimes it is needed to teach you that “better” exists and it is not only in your mind. Once I started moving forward, I realized that I had it within me to pick and choose the right person I wanted in my life. My heart has all these romantic notions of how a love should be but I am learning that there is more to it than butterflies in your stomach. I tend to wear rose-colored glasses where love is concerned and when that tint wears off, I am left holding the remnants of a broken love affair. It’s off with those glasses and on to what it is really about. It is now about knowing what I want, what I won’t settle for and a love that is “all in” and not the fading kind. I mean, “the here today and gone tomorrow” variety.

Breaking off and going it alone has taught me many lessons but the most important one that has helped me to learn and grow is that I AM ENOUGH as I am. No embellishments needed! Version 2.0 is stronger and more capable at looking for love in all the right places and a royal pain in the you know what!

Daily writing prompt

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

View all responses

Yesterday (Archives)

Someone once said, you are NOT yesterday. True but the stories we tell ourselves, the narratives that we trap ourselves in sometimes tell us that we are. Yesterday does carry some weight because it helps to define who we are today. The memories of yesterday can mold or break us, it can teach us not to do the same things over and over again and more often than not, it gives us the strength to carry on. The truth of the matter is that we cannot rewrite history and we cannot go back and change the outcome of a story that happened and is now done with. Yesterday is just that, it was and is a part of our past and except for the revisits from time to time of well-kept memories, it is nothing more than that. It is a story that is finished, it has taken its final bow or curtain call and so must we by letting it go.

This is what I tell myself on the journey I am on. I can’t keep carrying yesterday on my back or like an albatross around my neck. The load is heavy and it makes me want to stop, turn around and run back to what was familiar even if that familiarity has the power to hurt like hell. The unknown before me is terrifying and anything is better than this right? What’s before is shrouded in fog, it is dark and foreboding and forging through it takes superhuman effort but the small negative voice within me which at times roars like a waterfall tells me that I can’t do it! Take small steps, one step at a time, you don’t have to know everything, just trust and you will get there says this other shaky voice but there are no other options, moving forward is where I need to go.

Sometimes it is the boundaries we place around ourselves that trap us, that tell us that the imaginary world we live in is so much better than what is waiting out there. Sure it was painful but there was greatness too. It was filled with things I knew and cherished, in one word, it is irreplaceable. The stories we tell ourselves are the fences we place around us. Was yesterday that great? Did we embellish it like a Christmas tree to make it sparkle and shine when the reality is a different story? Do the stories we tell ourselves distort reality and yet it is the truth as we see it or is it because we want to see it that way?

Harold R. Johnson said, “We are all story. We are the stories we are told and we are the stories we tell ourselves. To change our circumstances, we need to change our story: edit it, modify it, or completely rewrite it.”

I don’t want to completely rewrite my past. I want to take the good parts with me, the bad parts I want to thank for teaching me lessons I would not have learned otherwise and the pain? Well, I want to leave that behind where it belongs. Enough tears have been shed, enough wishing that it could have been different has not made it less so and closing the door behind me and moving on is the way to go. The next chapter is waiting and yesterday is done with.

“Forget yesterday – it has already forgotten you. Don’t sweat tomorrow – you haven’t even met. Instead, open your eyes and heart to a truly precious gift – today.” Steve Maraboli

Here’s to yesterday. You taught me lessons I didn’t want to learn but had to accept. You gave me memories I will forever treasure. You made me who I am today and for that I will forever be thankful.

Today is a blank slate.

Have an amazing day.

Groundhog’s Day (Archives)

This particular phenomenon is defined as “a situation in which the same usually negative or monotonous experiences occur repeatedly or are felt to occur repeatedly with no change or correction.”

In the movie, Phil (Bill Murray), a weatherman finds himself trapped in a time warp and he is doomed to relive the same day over and over again UNTIL he gets it right.

“If you want something new, you have to stop doing something old.” Peter Drucker

Ever felt like you’re reliving an experience over and over again? I have and it is not only a bad feeling but getting off that roller coaster is sometimes hard to do. I’ve asked myself why am I here again? Did I not work through this already? I thought I was heading towards something better but it is the same old runaround and the same old Deja Vu feeling.

“Life is from the inside out. When you shift on the inside, life shifts on the outside.” Kamal Ravikant

Perhaps that right there is the problem in a nutshell. I did not shift or change from the inside but was just pretending like I had. According to http://www.boro.ac.uk, the reason can be found in the way our “brain processes information and creates templates that we refer to again and again. The templates are essentially shortcuts, which help us make decisions in the real world. They are known as heuristics and they make us repeat our errors.”

Too complicated? I think so too. Another expert had this to say: “the neural pathways are programmed such that every time we remember a past mistake, the brain heads back down the previous pathway.”

Oh God, this is even worse! I don’t want my brain remembering every mistake I made! The goal is to never repeat those mistakes again. However, no matter how hard I try I feel like the proverbial horse being led to drink from a pond I don’t want to. Perhaps, I have no control over the matter because those mistakes have already been pre-programmed into my inner core and there is nothing I can do about it. If that is the case, it is Groundhog’s Day over and over again. How awful is that?!!

It is time to make some drastic changes. The moral of Groundhog’s Day was:

“If you’re tired of reliving the same day repeatedly, something must change – and it’s up to you.”

According to the experts, if you’re finding yourself in “bad” relationships then recognizing “those past relationship mistakes and patterns can make a big difference in your future.” How do you stop making those same mistakes? Are there certain patterns or specific types who are not good for you?

Here are some problem-solvers:

Make small changes. Humans are creatures of habit and therefore comfortable with what is not necessarily good for us. Change doesn’t happen overnight but breaking those negative patterns one piece at a time might lead you in the right direction.

Practice self-care and don’t beat yourself up over mistakes you’ve made. Bad relationships can damage your self-esteem so be extra kind and gentle to yourself. Meditate, exercise, do yoga but more importantly take all that wasted energy and dedicate it to yourself.

Give yourself time to heal – don’t jump into the next relationship, give yourself time to heal.

Then there are three basic attachment styles: Insecure-avoidant, Insecure-anxious and Securely attached. The first two struggle and see themselves as being not enough. Both these types struggle with vulnerability. The Securely-attached might have the same problems as the first two but they embrace their vulnerability and are ready to accept and receive comfort, security and safety which helps to quiet the negative voices within them. Unfortunately, I belong to the first two attachment types. All fine and good but how do I outsmart my brain and get rid of that template which keeps bringing me back to the same place over and over again? I know that this is going to be a long process and a hard journey but I am bent on breaking the cycle. It is time to move on and to get it right!

“You are the author of your own story. If you don’t like where this chapter is going, it’s OK to start a new one.”

BUT, I like this one better.

“Life is tough my darling, but so are you.” Stephanie Bennett Henry

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY

My Happiness List

First on the list is Chachi, the cat. I can’t do without him and he is my buddy, a close confidante and a joy maker. Just seeing him walk into the room with that John Wayne walk puts a smile on my face. Spending time with him brings happiness as well.

Writing is next on the list. Right now, I am drawing blanks but that happens and it is a momentary lapse. Soon my head will be raging with ideas and I will be ready to get it out and I will. I think my brain is saying enough already! It’s time for a break. I LOVE writing and it is a joyful thing to do.

Walking is naturally on my list. Not a day goes by without a walk in nature but I missed it today. I seem to have caught a cold so it was plenty of rest, liquids and TV time! It’s okay to have downtime now and then.

Meditation brings benefits I never thought was possible. I have a mind that jumps around and doesn’t sit still so meditation has been a good way to reel it in and to make it behave. It is a hard ask but it (my brain) is learning to toe the line or perhaps just pretending to do so! Meditation not only brings joy into my life but it is my safety net when I need peace and quiet.

Workouts are good for the mind, body and soul. I’ve always worked out so why stop now? However, I need to remember that I’m no longer a spring chicken but sometimes I forget and my body reminds me later. It’s all fine and good because I take it in stride although I’ve backed off from kickboxing but all the others are par for the course.

These are my methods for achieving happiness and believe it or not, it works. What about cheesecake? Okay, just a slice puts a smile on my face but it has been a game of tug of war since I started down that road, the cheesecake fetish path I mean, so I’m going to leave it out for now but I hear it CALLING!

Daily writing prompt

What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

View all responses

You vs. You (Archives)

“It’s you versus you. Meaning you’re the only thing standing in your way.” Amber Tamblyn

The battle lines are often drawn when it comes to facing life’s adversities, difficulties and the unknown. How often do you say, “This is too hard to handle or I can’t do this!” Life’s uncertainties are often met with I am unworthy, I am too small, I am insignificant, I am not pretty enough, I am not capable, I am not enough and so on. We come up with so many excuses as to why we can’t achieve something or why it is impossible but if truth be told, we make mountains out of molehills. I often point my fingers at everything but myself. I become small and that problem, whatever it is, changes shape and becomes a mountain. It doesn’t matter that the mountain is of my own making, it’s there and it seems insurmountable.

What if we take a step back and view it from a different angle? Is it still insurmountable? How about if we changed our mindset to one of “I can” instead of “I can’t?” I know some problems are huge and they remain huge no matter which way you look at it but there are others that become that way because the “you” the negative “you” sees it that way and so it looms larger than life and once that negative mindset takes hold, it is all downhill from there. I’ve started looking at problems as just that. They are problems yes but I’ve decided to downsize them. I give them a cursory glance at first then I break it down into pieces and tackle it that way. Gone are the days of heart-thumping and end-of-the-world theatrics. No, it hasn’t made the problem any less of a problem but breaking it down does make it more manageable. Perhaps we need to remember it is not you vs. you but YOU working with you to come up with a solution, one that is workable.

It has been said you are your own worst enemy but what if you become your own best friend? Wouldn’t life be so much easier not to mention simpler? Here are some tips on how to do exactly that from the mindful.org.

When you look at the mirror, appreciate the unique person staring back at you – there’s never been another you!

When you talk to yourself, be friendly! Be understanding! NEVER BE MEAN!

When you need lovin’, give yourself a self-hug. Don’t knock it ’till you try it!

Don’t be shy to use your name and tell yourself that you love you.

Make a date with yourself to do something kind and caring.

Make yourself laugh.

Take time for contemplative practices that help you stay tuned in to your body, mind and emotions so that you might always be able to access your inner wisdom.

Idowu Koyenikan had this to say about problems.

“Mountains are only a problem when they are bigger than you. You should develop yourself so much that you become bigger than the mountains you face.”

If all else fails, you can give the “you” that is causing you problems a boot out the door! That should do it. Easier said than done I know and finally, YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE so don’t underestimate yourself.

Have an amazing day.

The Journey (Archives)

I’ve talked about my journey many times before. It is a journey designed to get me somewhere. Where do I want to go? I want to get to the top of that mountain. I want to say that I made it there leaving all the things that did not serve me behind and I want to feel the freedom of knowing that the “journey” was worthwhile and I can finally breathe again.

“Over time, I have come to believe that “brave” does not mean what we think it does. It does not mean “being afraid” and doing it anyway. Nope. Brave means listening to the still small voice inside and doing as it says. Regardless of what the rest of the world is saying.” Glennon Doyle

I still have a long ways to go but then again easy doesn’t cut it. It takes soul-searching, giving up what holds me back, knowing what I want and the courage to move forward not knowing what that path forward holds. The unknown is always scary but what if there is a “better” than where I am now? A better life, a better existence and perhaps even a better love. I am looking for that needle in the haystack but he is well-hidden and if he is there staring me in the face, I don’t see him yet.

Recently, I shared with a friend that I’m on the verge of giving up as far as that special someone is concerned. I told him I am tired of making treks in the wrong direction and that perhaps love is not in the cards for me. Perhaps, I should just say enough already and give up altogether.

He listened quietly as I vented and then said, “In German there is a saying, you find happiness when you least expect it.” It was profound, perhaps even holding a modicum of truth and coming from a guy wearing a bandana, it made me sit up and take notice. Not that I have anything against bandana-wearing men, I just didn’t expect this kind of deep thinking from him. He’s the rugged outdoorsy type but obviously has a soft core which he keeps well-hidden not visible to the naked eye. That said, nope he is not my guy. Anyway, the light went back on. I realized that I had met my ex when I wasn’t looking. It was my first night out after a long while of mourning over a break up and there he was. Our paths crossed and unknown to us both, the wheels had been set in motion and there was no stopping the path we were on. Perhaps, the inevitable happens when you least expect it and when the time is right.

If that is true, could we make it just a tad easier please? And if it does happen let’s make it forever this time around.

“Breathe through it and release anything that does not serve you.” Unknown

I’m no stranger to breathing. I do all kinds of different breathing techniques, I don’t believe in leaving it to chance so why not try everything there is to try and I might just hit the right one, the breathing technique that is, at some point in time. I’m also hoping that my intuition will take over and point me in the right direction but then fear, my best friend, comes in and blows it all to pieces. This journey has not been easy and making the wrong move from time to time always brings me back to square one. The message is clear, move slowly, one foot in front of the other. Patience is a virtue but not in my case. I’m like a petulant child who stomps her feet and demands that she gets it NOW! Life is not putting up with my temper tantrums so here I am again wondering where I went wrong this last time? I have to learn to bide my time, move with caution for the way forward is not easy to navigate and one false move and I am back to where I started from and I don’t want that.

“I was lucky enough to have been to rock bottom before, right? So I know for a fact, that rock bottom is always the beginning of the newness. It hurts and its painful, and then there’s the waiting……where you don’t know what the hell is going on and you don’t think any of it is going to make sense and then,

THERE’S THE RISING.”

I am waiting to exhale. I am waiting for “the rising” when all is made new again and I am given another chance at life, at love, at living and finally breathing freely again. I am looking forward to saying, “It was tough but I made it!”

-Say the thing you must say.

-Go where you must go.

-Learn what you must leave.

-Do what you must do.

-Trust yourself.

When They Say:

You seem out of control…..

You Say:

Thank you. That’s the plan.

For the rest of my life.

Glennon Doyle

Have an amazing day.

–

Been There, Done That! (Archives)

How often have you used the words above to describe the “deja vu” feeling of having experienced the exact same event or incident over and over again with the very same and often painful outcomes? I know I have and I’m sure many of you have. So why do we keep repeating the same cycle over and over again? Perhaps, it’s because of this.

“Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.” Unknown

I’ve done this many times over. This meaning, “I told myself I would never go through this and find myself in the same uneventful place again.” Like dating the wrong person with the exact same habits as the one I left behind. Then I find myself months down the road faced with the exact same situation but with another individual. I told myself I would never do cheaters, liars, control freaks and narcissists ever again but lo and behold, it never fails. They seem to come out of the woodwork as far as I am concerned and I am faced with the self-same situation only to scream, “What am I doing wrong?”

I think we are creatures of habit and therefore love embracing familiarity more than commonsense! What feels familiar is comforting. It gives us a sense of warmth and maybe even a feeling of “home.” You’ve heard the saying, “Home is where the heart is?” Well, not in this case! According to Isabel Buchbinder, “repeating patterns do not happen by coincidence. Repeating patterns are merely lessons which can be seen as an opportunity for us to evolve and grow.” The question remains, how often do you have to fall in order to grasp the lessons you have to learn? Unfortunately, there are no clear-cut answers. Some learn quickly and others not at all. I hope I am NOT in the “not at all” category but it sure feels that way at times.

Here again, Ms. Buchbinder has some good tips on how to break free and to move on to greener and more acceptable behavior traits. She says, “the reoccuring external situation is trying to get our attention so that we focus within and change this internal limiting structure and thus break the pattern. She adds, “don’t bleed on those who didn’t hurt you.” It just means heal yourself first before entering a relationship. This also means, “once you heal your subconscious limitations and traumas, you no longer repeat patterns and you will start attracting life situations which are more suitable for your well-being and more heightened state of life!”

“Life will keep on repeating the same situation through different circumstances until we have learnt the lesson.” Isabel

How do you break this self-fulfilling prophecy? Here are five steps from Isabel, not easy but worth the try.

The first step is to become aware of the pattern.

The second step is to observe the situation but don’t react.

The third step is to identify the lesson it is trying to teach us.

The fourth and perhaps the hardest step is to accept the situation, integrate, heal and let it go. Letting go takes forever in my world and even when I do, I keep looking back with one foot in the past and one foot in front.

The fifth step, if you’re confronted with a “repeating pattern” again, it’s just life wanting to know if you’ve learned the lesson and have fully let go. Lord, have mercy!

Be gentle with yourself, accept what you can’t change, learn from what you can and take the next step in the right direction. If you find yourself faced with the same old stuff from another individual but in a different body, don’t walk but RUN! and don’t look back.

“Break through that imaginary ceiling you’ve placed over yourself.” Unknown

AND

“Life has a way of making you repeat the same patterns until YOU choose to break the cycle.”

Have an amazing day.