mindset – Page 2 – Site Title

This Too Shall Pass

This is an old saying that holds more than a modicum of truth within its confines. When the good times are there, we forget about impermanency and quite often we think that it is going to last forever and it doesn’t always go that way. When the bad times come around, we think it is going to stay until it turns tail and leaves the same way it came in. Nothing lasts forever and understanding this concept is what this saying is about. This well-known adage reflects on the temporary nature of the human condition.

“Two years ago you had problems you don’t even remember. But it seemed like such a big deal at the time, didn’t it? And yet – here you are. This, too, shall pass.” Unknown

I don’t recall when but I’ve been through the cycle of thinking it was a big deal at the time and like that quote, it vanished without a trace.

It takes different forms. Sometimes love moves in and you think forever is in the cards but sometimes that “forever” is just in the imagination. It was never meant to last. Sometimes, one door closes and you wait for that door to open back up but it stays shut and in its place another one opens but not before you learn what pain is about. It comes when you least expect it and it leaves when it sees fit. Sometimes life is on an even keel or so it seems until it turns the tables on you and you are faced with turmoil and chaos.

This too shall pass? Absolutely. It always does if you wait long enough and you give it time.

“Change is never painful. Only resistance to change is painful.” Buddha

Don’t I know it! I hate change but it arrives whether I want it to or not. I am learning to let go of resistance but it will take time.

This next one I love!

“This too shall pass…

It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.” Unknown

I’ve never had one of those but I’ve heard it’s painful. Too painful!

“Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. G. Lourie

Good one to remember when a painful episode decides to pay you a visit. It’s not the whole chapter and there’s more to the story so let it unfold as it will if you allow it.

This last one I like a whole lot!

This too shall pass….

“The heaviness. The confusion. The days that feel like they’ll never ease. Nothing stays the same forever, not the pain, not the doubt, not the storms in your head. You’ve made it through hard seasons before, even when you thought you wouldn’t. Hold on. Keep going. What you’re feeling right now isn’t the end of the story, it’s just a chapter.” Unknown

I know this all too well, however, this too shall pass is the last thing on my mind when things go down south but slowly and surely it is taking form and HOLDING so that the next time something unsavory happens I will remember,

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

And hold on tight to what it means!

Have an amazing day.

The Fears Didn’t Materialize?

Well, I thought I was going to die but that was just the fear factor within me. It kicks in when the unknown faces me and the surgery was an unknown factor of the worst kind.

It is over. I am back home and need to recuperate for about two weeks. The same old stuff like the last time. Take it easy, no workouts, light walking, and keep away from caffeine and spicy foods. Ok, I can handle that.

I went in at 11:30 and didn’t wake up till 3:15. A pretty long time but when I came to, I was groggy. It wore off and I was back to myself and walking the corridors two hours later. I’ve got my body to thank for its resilience. It is strong and capable of withstanding trauma and I am thankful for that. What’s next? A checkup in four to six weeks to make sure everything is ok and I can resume my normal life again. Fingers and toes crossed! Until then, COOL IT and don’t run before you can walk.

Hard to do but I will try. The funny thing about fears, no matter how often they appear, I never learn and I run with them. This time around I ran the gamut and once again, I came out on the other side without anything happening. I am thankful and I thank the angel and the one who moves mountains for their hand in this one. Also, the surgeon was exceptional.

Thank you to all involved. Now, rest up and take it easy. Will do or at least I will try!

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything and Run’ or ‘Face Everything and Rise.’ The choice is yours. Unknown.

Letting Go of Control (Archives)

Most of us are “control freaks” when it comes to controlling outcomes. I know I am. We want to take whatever comes our way, things of the unsavory nature and we want to change it or we spend time, sometimes lots of it, mulling over what we cannot control and instead of letting go or accepting it as a lost cause, we try to control the narrative.

“To find calm, let go of the need to control every outcome.” Unknown

I had a tough day yesterday and “calm” had flown the coop and was nowhere to be seen. I kept playing scenarios over and over again and no matter how many times I kept playing it over, the outcome was the same. It was done and dusted and there was nothing I could do about it but to let it go. The only thing I could do was to control my feelings and how I viewed the situation. The other thing that was staring me in the face was that I had no control over the events of the day, only in how I dealt with it. It was time to let it go and I did.

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” Mandy Hale

I spent most of yesterday getting angry, agitated, frustrated, and whatever else you could throw into the pot, I was ready to take it all and to run with it! Human nature is such that we love to entertain problems. Truth is, problems do show up when we least expect them and they throw us for a loop when we come face to face with them. More often than not, anger and frustration accompany problems. Not knowing how to deal with them is why they appear in succession. In my case, it is the opportunity to fall off from the path of self-discovery I was on and to VENT for all its worth! Ok, it’s alright for awhile but I see the toll it takes on my psyche and even then, I refuse to stop, hell-bent on wrecking havoc as I go along on my path of self-righteousness! The good part is, I’ve learned when to put a stop to it. It took me most of the day but when evening rolled around, I was ready to come to my senses and to look at it with a clear head.

“One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.” marcandangel

Learning to let go of control is not easy because letting go of whatever it is means that you no longer have control over the situation. However, sometimes that is a good thing. You need to step back, view it from a distance and come up with solutions to break down the problem and to make it solvable. Yes, it takes time and it takes focus but it is better than going off the deep end as I did yesterday.

“Real strength isn’t control. It’s knowing when to let go.” Christopher Barzak

Have an amazing day.

The Search for Happiness (Archives)

A man asked Gautama Buddha, “I want happiness.”

Buddha said, First remove, “I” that’s EGO, then remove , “WANT,” that’s DESIRE. See now you are left with only, “HAPPINESS.”

Is it really that simple to find happiness? Okay, I can give this method a try BUT I find that when I remove “EGO” and “WANT,” there is something else glaring me in the face! It is, “WHAT NOW?!!!”

According to Buddhist wisdom, there are 5 steps to happiness. They are:

SMILE MORE

WORRY LESS

BE PRESENT

GIVE MORE

EXPECT LESS

I believe in the smiling more part. No problems there. Worrying less is almost a no go with me. Being present, I am working on. Giving more…..it is a work in progress and expecting less always gets me in trouble. Basically, I’m not quite there yet. Finding that happiness path that is.

What else?

“A disciplined mind brings happiness.”

Oh Gawd! This is even worse. Tell that “monkey” I call my mind to take orders and you’ll see what I mean! Marching on to the next happiness mantra.

“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are….

It solely relies on what you think.”

WHAT?!!! I give up!

No more searching for happiness wisdom today. I’ll do it my way. The sun is shining and I’m going to slip into my flip-flops, go to the garden and let the sun warm my face. I’ll listen to the birdsong to calm my mind and let happiness seep in. Sorry Buddha but maybe next time around.

There will be no more thinking, no more telling my mind to do something it doesn’t want to do and I’ll just let the day go as it wants to. How’s that for a happiness mantra?

Have an amazing day.

When Silence Speaks (Archives)

Sometimes we think that silence is just that, a certain quietness where nothing happens. It is a void that is soothing but nothing much comes out of it. I beg to differ. I have found that if you listen carefully, “silence” has much to say.

“It’s been said that actions speak louder than words, sometimes, it’s what you don’t say or do, that sends the loudest message.” Carlos Wallace

Quite often when something doesn’t go our way and we are hurt by another’s words or actions, the first reaction is to let it rip. Let it all out and show them how you feel and during those moments, words are aplenty and so are emotions. However, when all is said and done and you are wrung dry, more often than not you realize that you didn’t achieve anything through those outbursts of the unsavory kind.

“Once you’ve matured, you realize silence is more powerful than proving a point.” Unknown

Maturity doesn’t show up wearing bells and it does not say, “Here I am, take me and use me.” It shows up when you least expect it and when you’ve gone though the growing up process. The one that takes you on the ups and downs, the one where you find yourself down on your knees and the one that shows you there is a better way of doing things without going ballistic. It is the quiet gentle knowledge of knowing that you deserve better and you will move on with grace. No shouting or being loud needed.

“And suddenly I stopped explaining, stopped fixing, and just moved on. I learned that silence speaks louder than words. No response is a response. Now, I don’t chase. I don’t care and I let people feel the weight of their own choices.” Unknown

Easier said than done? I know because I’ve been there. Things are hard and life is harder still but learning to navigate choppy waters is a must if you want life to let up on you. If something doesn’t go your way, take it in stride. If someone doesn’t choose you, let him or her go. If life isn’t going like it’s supposed to, stop, take note, and then move on knowing that whatever it is that life throws your way, you are fully capable of handling it. Let silence be your guide and your best friend. There is much to be learned during your bout with silence if you’ll only listen.

“Silence is not empty, it is the loudest answer.” Unknown

Not only that, it gives you the ability to get your message across WITHOUT SAYING A WORD!

Try it the next time you want to let someone have what is coming to them or you are chomping at the bit to say your piece. Stop and move in silence.

Have an amazing day.

Stepping in Faith

It’s Sunday, a day of relaxation and rest, and I’m starting out by stepping in faith and by faith.

The Cheesecake Standoff!

Photo by Yulia Oliinychenko on Pexels.com

I have a cheesecake fetish, plain and simple. Battling this addiction has been a big problem. I call it an addiction because if I go by the bakery where they sell this scrumptious piece of nothingness, I CAN’T SAY NO!

It is nothing fancy, just the plain variety with no embellishments. No cream, no fruits, no nothing, but it is the plain kind that I love. Just one bite and I feel the heavens opening up! I call it my one sin. Pastries are out, cookies are out, chocolates are out, and other kinds of cakes are out. I don’t crave them like I do cheesecake. Add a cup of coffee to it and my eyes light up like a Christmas tree!

Well, a month ago I summoned my willpower in and we had a heart to heart. My willpower worn. Cheesecakes were out the door as well. I turn a blind eye whenever I walk past that bakery and sometimes the women who work there call out saying they have fresh cheesecake! That’s how well-known I am.

Anyway, I haven’t had cheesecake for over a month. I needed to get ready for my medical procedure and that required a strict diet. One of my own making. I decided I was throwing everything out that would jeopardize my health just to help the doctors along. I was fit as a fiddle when I went in and breezed out of there looking like a thousand bucks! Why not a million? Well, that would be stretching it. Anyway, I am recovering well. However, the second procedure is about three weeks away and I need to stick to my diet, more than the first time because I’m not allowed to do any workouts. Bah Humbug! Yes, that’s my favorite word of the moment and since I don’t cuss I’ll stick to Bah Humbug. I think it has a nice ring to it.

Coming back to the cheesecake, I drove the car today. If I feel any pain then STOP was what the doctors told me. I drove it last week but just around the village and I did fine, but didn’t have the guts to go any further. Today, I got tired of moping around the house. I got in and started the car. It came to life and was ready to go. We drove to the next village where my favorite cafe is and right across it is the bakery. The cafe was closed for some reason but the bakery, well, it was ready for me. There in the window staring back at me were two slices of cheesecake! They seemed to be taunting me.

Should I?

What’s the excuse? The weather is nice, the sun is shining, and a slice would go perfectly with a cup of coffee.

I walked in and the women smiled.

“Long time no see.”

Hmm….

“Cheesecake? We have more in the refrigerator.”

The other people waiting in line eyed me.

“Just those two pieces please.”

“Sure? We can get you more.”

God, I wanted the whole cheesecake! Meekly, I mumbled, “Just two slices please.”

They smiled again knowing full well that the gates of hell was slowly but surely opening! Just kidding.

I walked out with the cheesecake dreaming of a fantastic afternoon.

Here we are, it is around 2 in the afternoon and I haven’t touched them. They are sitting in the fridge and every time I open the door, they GRIN! I just did my 7 minute walk in the garden thinking that will help but it is not working. I want to throw caution to the wind and just dive in.

My willpower is whispering or rather roaring in my ear saying, “You’ve been so good, why throw it all away!”

Will it win? What do you think?

The sage continues……

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

This one is hilarious.

Three drunk men entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then he said, “We have reached your destination”. The 1st man gave him money & the 2nd man said “Thank you”. The 3rd man slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked “What was that for?”. The 3rd man replied “Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!”

🤣🤣🤣

Wisdom

It is defined as, “the ability to use your knowledge, experience, and deep understanding to make sensible judgments and good decisions.” How many of us do that well? I’ll stand up and say that applying “wisdom” to events and or situations is not that easy especially when emotions are involved.

Here are some quotes to help you on the way.

“Experience visits every life, but wisdom belongs to those who pause to understand it.” Don Davern

“Patience is a form of wisdom. It demonstrates that we understand and accept the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time.” Unknown

This is a hard one for me as “impatience” is my middle name!

“Wisdom is trusting the timing of the universe.” Unknown

Yeah, but it sure is taking its time!

“Peace is accepting today, releasing yesterday, and giving up the need to control tomorrow.” Unknown

Right now, this is what I am grappling with. The need to let go of control. I guess we all do.

“Being defeated is often a temporary condition….giving up is what makes it permanent.” Unknown

Absolutely true!

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” George Addair

Now I understand why I don’t get everything I want since fear has been my constant companion. Can I change that? I don’t know but I’m trying.

“The mind invents revenge. Wisdom improves it. And time perfects it by turning it into indifference.” Unknown

This is where I’m at. The “indifference” part gives me peace but every now and then the “mind” steps in!

Have an amazing day.

Stop Shrinking! (Archives)

Did someone say something that rubbed you the wrong way? Did it make you feel less than you are? Did a bad relationship make you feel unworthy and not enough? Did it help to shrink you even further? Does the environment you live in make you feel that you don’t belong? A job where you don’t fit in? Cruel remarks that make you feel smaller than you are?

“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.” Rumi

However, it happens in this day-to-day existence of ours. It has been said that it’s a cruel world out there and more often than not, it is. It doesn’t always build you up, it doesn’t make you feel worthy and “lacking” is the word that comes to mind. How do you walk tall in a world that doesn’t always care about your feelings, your mental health and more importantly the “YOU” as a person? The answer lies within. If you’re looking for validation from the outside world, you’re looking in the wrong place.

“Learn to love YOURSELF -first- instead of loving the idea OF OTHER PEOPLE loving you.” Unknown

If you only feel worthy when someone gives you a compliment, you are going about it the wrong way. If you are waiting for that special someone to validate love for you, it’s time to take a good hard look at your perception of love and what it means. If a two-timing no good individual can pull the rug from under your feet and leave you feeling like you don’t matter, it’s time to find that strength within, and to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST AND BETTER! Once you do, none of the above will matter. You become stronger, you learn what is important to you and you build yourself up from the inside out which is important. It is your source of comfort and strength but more than that, you won’t be looking for validation from the outside world. It is an inside job and you will start attracting the right kind of people as well.

“You are not enough!” “You are lacking!” “You can’t measure up to what life is asking of you because you don’t have it in you!” Is that your inner critic talking or rather berating you? Yes, it can be loud and it can be destructive if you let it take over. Each time you hear that negative voice within you getting loud, listen but don’t take it to heart and if it gets too destructive, send it packing! Here’s the truth. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE and YOU ARE FULLY CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.” Lucille Ball

When was the last time you paid attention to the person you carry around with you? I know I lost track of that person when the two cats moved in and my world was turned upside down. Paying attention to the person who mattered took a back seat and the inner critic had full run so much so that I became smaller than I am and doubts started creeping in. I’m not enough was the message, loud and clear. I listened and ran with it.

“Love yourself first, because that’s who you’ll be spending the rest of your life with.” Unknown

Be kind to yourself, speak to yourself like you would to someone you love, show yourself some self-care, take time out for yourself, pamper yourself, and stop to smell the roses. Once you do that, you will find that the people who bring you down, the ones who’ve hurt you, and the ones who take you for granted will disappear because others will come in to take their place. You attract what you reflect and better will walk in and want to stay. Your new reality will take some getting used to and letting go of those that no longer matter will sometimes be hard. However, one thing’s for sure, “shrinking” will become a thing of the past. It all starts with loving yourself first.

Until then,

“Love yourself so much that when someone treats you wrong, you recognize it.” Rena Rose

AND do something about it!

Have an amazing day.