Trust the Journey

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Mental Note:

Trust your journey.

No matter how many detours we take or delays we encounter, we will always be led back to where we’re meant to be.” Nicole Spindler

Beautifully said but trusting the journey you’re on is hard and accepting that everything will turn out for the best is harder still. Humans want control of the situation or at least I do. I don’t like the idea of some unseen force manipulating the outcome and that is a frightening concept for me. However, if truth be told, perhaps there is no other way. You’ve heard the saying, if it is meant to be, it will be and what if we just let go and let it unfold as it was meant to be. A doable thing? Speaking from my standpoint, that is next to impossible for me.

“Don’t let what happens or what doesn’t happen bother you. Life has a way of rearranging perfectly so that what you truly need can come together.” Unknown

If I step aside that is. My problem is that I want to know what is coming up or what life has in store for me before it comes up. I spend a lot of time overthinking the negatives even before it has happened but that is human nature I suppose. Much of my time is wasted on projections that never take place and if and when it happens I am fully capable of handling the outcome.

Trusting the journey I am on demands that I accept what comes my way. “Be quiet” whispers the all-knowing power of the unknown, the universe or God in his wisdom or whatever you believe in. It says, “Let me work this out for you, I’ve got this and you need to trust in the journey. You’ll be fine.” The untrusting part within screams, “I’m afraid! What if I fail or I fall flat on my face or there is no getting up from this?” That too is human nature.

“Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly, “You got this, keep going.” Unknown

Perhaps, trusting the journey is not about rushing, not pushing and shoving and not about stomping your feet and demanding but that it is more about accepting that everything is being worked out behind the scenes and you just need to sit back and accept and know that the outcome will be exactly as it was meant to be. It doesn’t mean you have to stop working on yourself, putting effort out on what needs to be done and making your way through life, it means knowing that there is a higher force who is on your side. Not so simple? I know, it isn’t for me either. What if there is a higher power working on your behalf and it has got your back? Wonderful don’t you think? Now, I just need to trust in that concept. Good luck you say? I know but it’s worth a try.

“Trust the process, trust your journey. You are going TO BE OKAY.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

The “Me” Concept

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Who am I? Sounds simple enough but this is a hard one to answer. It encompasses all of you, the big picture so to speak. Who you are, what you stand for, what shaped you and the experiences that have made you, the “YOU” of today are all part and parcel of this concept. Understanding yourself is vital to how you interact with the world around you. There is only one YOU, and your identity is unique, It is made up of your values, your beliefs, your relationships and your experiences and that in a nutshell is who you are as a person.

However, interacting with the world around you is not always an easy thing to do. It is much bigger than you are and sometimes downright scary. Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter and might even help with where you are in the grand scheme of things as far as your world is concerned.

“Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” Unknown

One step at a time if you want to get somewhere and looking at that whole journey might just be a tad too overwhelming to say the least. Do it slowly and carefully and you’ll get there when the time is right.

“Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” Unknown

Absolutely worth taking a note of. How often do we hang around people who make us feel less than we are? It is time to clean house and start afresh with people worthy of your company.

“The problem isn’t that your friends aren’t showing up for you…

The problem is that you’re still calling them friends.” Unknown

“You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Choose carefully” Unknown

How true? Choose your friends carefully and the rest will fall into place.

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story,

LEAVE.” Mo Willems

If something is not working and it becomes a struggle, change your strategy. You are not stuck where you are, there is always a way out to start anew. You just need to have the courage to say “I can do this” and move on.

“She wanted something else, something different, something more, passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.” Nicholas Sparks

There you have it. Stop being the option and start being the priority. Stop choosing people who do not choose you.

Understand this….

“You can sound confident and have anxiety. You can look healthy but feel like shit. You can look happy and be miserable inside. You can be good looking and feel ugly. So be kind, because every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown

Kindness matters so JUST BE KIND!

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

This actually speaks to the whole concept of who you are. What you do eventually becomes your character. Choose wisely and do the right thing.

“Learn to be done with people, not mad, not bothered but just done.” Unknown

This is hard for someone like me. It takes a lot to say I am done but I am learning. Sometimes it is a matter of survival the choices you make. Choose wisely.

“In the end, she became more than what she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going.” Unknown

This last one is poignant. I am on a journey of self-discovery and self-development and in so doing I am learning to give up what does not serve me, to change directions and to move towards what does. Not always easy I know but this is where self-awareness and self-worth comes in to guide you and to make it just a little less scarier than it is.

Have an amazing day.

Figure It Out

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“You don’t need to have it all figured out to take a step forward.” Unknown

This is the absolute truth. You don’t need to know everything before you take the next step forward but you have to trust in the process to move forward, one step at a time. You’ll get there.

“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt.”

“You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.” Unknown

This is where we go wrong I think. We want what we think we deserve but life has other plans for us. Go with what you have, work with what you have and make it the best set of cards for you and you’ll come out the winner. I have to remind myself of this as well the next time I moan and groan at the unfairness of it all!

“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.” Unknown

The stories we tell ourselves can be the road to disaster. It screws us up. How it’s supposed to be and what you do to get there are two different things. It’s not going to fall into your lap, whatever it is that you want, it takes hard work and that is the truth of the matter.

“You don’t have to figure everything out today. You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. And you don’t have to tackle everything at once. You just have to show up and try. You just have to focus on the most immediate thing in front of you. And you have to trust that you’ll figure out the rest along the way.” Daniel Koepke

Nice piece of advice that. Just keep moving, show up and you’ll be on your way.

“My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.” Unknown

Okay this one speaks to yours truly! I can’t for the life of me figure out the plot. Perhaps it is best not to ask but to just trust that I have what it takes to make it and the rest will fall into place. Easier said than done!

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” Michael Jordan

This special piece of advice is what life is about. Giving up is not going to do it and as I often say, bite the bullet and keep on going.

TODAY

figure out what makes you happy and do more of it, figure out what doesn’t, and do – less of it. –

Mandy Hale

YOU WILL FIGURE IT OUT!

Have an amazing day.

The Blame Game

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It’s easy to blame someone or something for where we’re at in life, isn’t it? We, as humans, tend to look for excuses and reasons as to why we’re at a low point in life. It’s easy to say, “You’re the reason why or this happened and that’s the reason why.”

Perhaps we should turn it around and ask ourselves how much of the blame do we carry ourselves? Sure, there are reasons, excuses and sometimes legit circumstances for looking for somewhere or someone to place the blame on, however, if you’re honest with yourself, much of the responsibility lies on your shoulders and yours alone.

People can trigger certain outcomes but it is how you decide to deal with the situation that defines how you handle it and where you go from here.

“It’s easy to be the victim. It’s easy to point the finger of blame. It’s easy to stay stuck and unhappy.

I don’t do easy.” Bruce Van Horn

I don’t either. I’ve been stuck before and refused to move and I have been totally unhappy but I don’t stay there for long. My mom once told me, “If you fall, dust off and get back on that horse.” It seemed silly at the time but that piece of advice has stood the test of time. Sometimes it takes a while before I get moving again and yes, at times I look for ways to deflect and to put the blame on someone else because that would be the easiest option to the problem at hand but it is also the way to not take responsibility for my part in the situation. Did I let it happen? Did I see it coming and chose not to do something about it? More importantly, how much blame do I give myself for what happened?

The thing is, situations happen, circumstances happen and life happens. Looking for easy options rather than looking for solutions is not going to get you out of where you’re at.

Remember:

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” Louis Nizer

Why do we blame others?

According to innerbalanceaz.com, it’s because”

It’s easy

It feeds a need for control

It fuels a desire for perfectionism

It keeps them from having to be vulnerable

It protects their ego

It unloads backed-up feelings

Furthermore, “it offers a quick escape from guilt and is effortless when feeling defensive.”

However, if you get good at the blame game, you become so adept at it that it may even feel good in the beginning but it is a losing game in the end. Blaming leads to more blaming, it leads you to feelings of helplessness, it stunts your personal growth because you’ll always be looking for the easy way out and you form unhealthy relationships because blaming triggers mistrust and judgment which in turn pushes people away.

Taking responsibility is hard and we don’t do ‘hard’ too well, do we? Guess what? Hard is needed to turn that ‘point finger’ inwards and to take some of the blame yourself. It is also needed to get you to where you want to go in life and easy is not going to cut it. The next time you take aim at someone to place the blame on them, look at yourself and then go from there.

“It’s easy to blame everyone and everything for our failures and lack of success isn’t it…that means we don’t have to do anything to change….

Blaming gets you off the hook…..but it will never get you the life you dream of.”

ONLY RESPONSIBILITY WILL DO THAT.

TAKE THAT RESPONSIBILITY.

Have an amazing day.

Toxic People

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We’ve met them, had to deal with them and been in relationships with them. I’m talking about toxic people. We’ve suffered the consequences but still carried on hoping that change would come. It never does. The outcome is always the same. It is often accompanied by pain and confusion. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is little you can do to change a ‘toxic’ person but you can protect yourself.

In order to deal with a toxic person you need to know their modus operandi or rather how they operate in their world. According to The Mind Journal, there are six types of toxic people.

THE NARCISSIST

Only cares about themselves

Lacks empathy

Truly believes they are better than everyone around them.

THE CONTROLLER

Tries to control everything around them.

Needs to be in charge of every decision.

Makes you feel like you can’t do anything right.

THE DRAMA MAGNET

Feeds off of gossip and drama

Drama seems to ‘follow them’ (they create it).

Puts you in uncomfortable positions.

THE ENERGY VAMPIRE

Drains you of energy, overwhelms you.

Creates problems and feeds on the negativity.

Criticizes and bullies you.

THE COMPULSIVE LIAR

Tells white lies constantly.

Manipulates and gaslights you.

Master of guilt trips.

THE GREEN EYED

Cannot be happy for other people’s good fortune.

Plays the victim

Minimizes other people to feel better about themselves.

These people often bring conflict, negativity and confusion not to mention pain into your life. Dealing with them is like walking on a minefield not suspecting anything would go wrong but eventually it does because they are wired a certain way. They are manipulative, oftentimes abusive and they will find ways to justify their behavior. Remorse never crosses their mind and taking accountability for their actions is a never never thing. They usually take without giving back.

“Just remember, we are all toxic. Every single human being is capable of being toxic, has been, currently is at times.

But some people have the desire to be educated on it and do better while others will ignore any accountability and continue to act the same way.”

Pay Attention

It is not clear why we keep doing circles around toxic people? Perhaps it has something to do with stupidity and the definition of stupid goes like this.

“Knowing the truth, seeing the truth, but still believing the lies.” Unknown

Toxic people for all their flaws can be magnetic. They tend to pull you in and make you want to stay for awhile and if love is involved, it brings a whole new dimension with it.

“Love is 50% stupid and 50% brilliant. The challenge is figuring out which part of it you’re experiencing at any given moment.” Unknown

Once you’ve figured out that you’ve hitched your yoke to a toxic person and don’t know what to do, the following quote might just help.

You don’t ever have to feel guilty about Removing Toxic People From Your Life.

“It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance, you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and “continues” to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” Unknown

Painful but short and sweet and perhaps this is the only language that ‘toxic’ people understand. Unfortunately.

Have an amazing day.

Been There, Done That!

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How often have you used the words above to describe the “deja vu” feeling of having experienced the exact same event or incident over and over again with the very same and often painful outcomes? I know I have and I’m sure many of you have. So why do we keep repeating the same cycle over and over again? Perhaps, it’s because of this.

“Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.” Unknown

I’ve done this many times over. This meaning, “I told myself I would never go through this and find myself in the same uneventful place again.” Like dating the wrong person with the exact same habits as the one I left behind. Then I find myself months down the road faced with the exact same situation but with another individual. I told myself I would never do cheaters, liars, control freaks and narcissists ever again but lo and behold, it never fails. They seem to come out of the woodwork as far as I am concerned and I am faced with the self-same situation only to scream, “What am I doing wrong?”

I think we are creatures of habit and therefore love embracing familiarity more than commonsense! What feels familiar is comforting. It gives us a sense of warmth and maybe even a feeling of “home.” You’ve heard the saying, “Home is where the heart is?” Well, not in this case! According to Isabel Buchbinder, “repeating patterns do not happen by coincidence. Repeating patterns are merely lessons which can be seen as an opportunity for us to evolve and grow.” The question remains, how often do you have to fall in order to grasp the lessons you have to learn? Unfortunately, there are no clear-cut answers. Some learn quickly and others not at all. I hope I am NOT in the “not at all” category but it sure feels that way at times.

Here again, Ms. Buchbinder has some good tips on how to break free and to move on to greener and more acceptable behavior traits. She says, “the reoccuring external situation is trying to get our attention so that we focus within and change this internal limiting structure and thus break the pattern. She adds, “don’t bleed on those who didn’t hurt you.” It just means heal yourself first before entering a relationship. This also means, “once you heal your subconscious limitations and traumas, you no longer repeat patterns and you will start attracting life situations which are more suitable for your well-being and more heightened state of life!”

“Life will keep on repeating the same situation through different circumstances until we have learnt the lesson.” Isabel

How do you break this self-fulfilling prophecy? Here are five steps from Isabel, not easy but worth the try.

The first step is to become aware of the pattern.

The second step is to observe the situation but don’t react.

The third step is to identify the lesson it is trying to teach us.

The fourth and perhaps the hardest step is to accept the situation, integrate, heal and let it go. Letting go takes forever in my world and even when I do, I keep looking back with one foot in the past and one foot in front.

The fifth step, if you’re confronted with a “repeating pattern” again, it’s just life wanting to know if you’ve learned the lesson and have fully let go. Lord, have mercy!

Be gentle with yourself, accept what you can’t change, learn from what you can and take the next step in the right direction. If you find yourself faced with the same old stuff from another individual but in a different body, don’t walk but RUN! and don’t look back.

“Break through that imaginary ceiling you’ve placed over yourself.” Unknown

AND

“Life has a way of making you repeat the same patterns until YOU choose to break the cycle.”

Have an amazing day.

Life Lessons

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“Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over.” Nicole Sobon

Starting over is a hard thing to do. It means accepting what has happened and making the decision to move on. It is not that simple is it? We often want to stay awhile and in some cases, we never want to let go because there is comfort in holding on. I know someone who has held on for over a decade and still refuses to let go, not because it was the best thing that had happened to him, I am sure in his mind he thinks it is, but because he is comfortable where he is and so his life is at a standstill. He rekindles the memories over and over again and never gives them time to fade or to heal. It is like a wound that refuses to heal because he keeps picking at it.

I think looking at the past and all that we’ve had to live through especially the bad parts as lessons learned instead of as things that happened which brought us to our knees, might just do the trick.

Speaking from my experience of the betrayal and the divorce that followed in my own life, it did bring me down to my knees. As I have said before, I felt like a bird with clipped wings and I was for a long time. It is only recently that I’ve decided to look at my past, mindfully go through the remnants of what was left of the life that was once mine that I realized I would never do it again. What? I would never settle for a man with no morals or integrity. These are the building blocks of any relationship and so I will not settle for less. That said, the lesson I have learned is that I won’t be dependent on one man to make me complete. I am complete as I am and learning that has opened new doors for me. I am stronger, more capable and I wouldn’t say fearless but less fearful. There are new roads to travel with my new found sense of freedom and knowledge of myself and I am taking it with me along with all the other lessons I will learn to the finish line.

“Forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you.” Unknown

Losing a loved one is hard to bear. I was lost for awhile when it happened to me. I accompanied my friend on his final journey and back then I didn’t realize it would take superhuman strength to do that. My focus was on despair, anger, sadness and an incredible sense of unfairness. I didn’t see the strong woman emerging out of the cocoon she was in. ”I can’t” was my mantra but I learned soon enough that I was capable of so much more even if it meant losing someone very dear to me. Life was teaching me a lesson if I was willing to learn it. The problem was I wasn’t accepting any lessons at that time. I hugged and kissed him goodbye without breaking down, that came later. I think there is tremendous strength within each of us that only comes into play when called upon to push ourselves to the limit. I learned that weakness is an option, an easy one. It is easy to run and hide, but the other one, strength is learned while going through what is considered the impossible and still coming out on top. I did.

When I became an empty nester, I thought life had come to a standstill for me. Being a mom was my biggest role and I relished it. He was my world. When he left to pursue what all young men do, part of me refused to let go, the selfish part. Eventually I let him go with tears in my eyes and slowly, very slowly, I learned that I was fully capable of handling this and much more. 

Life never stands still and those things that it throws our way, the ones that make us cringe and shy away or the ones that make us throw up our hands and say, this is enough, I can’t do this, well they are exactly the ones that will teach us who we are as a person, the ones that will open new doors if you let it and the ones that will take you to where you need to go. Did I pass with flying colors? Not without putting up a fight first. I cried and berated at the unfairness of it all but when I calmed down and looked within, I found the answers to go on and I learned that there was enough resources within me to battle even the worst storms one step at a time. Simplify your life, get rid of the excess that blinds you to what is happening and maybe you will learn the lessons life is teaching you. Remember it may not be fair, it may not be just but in order to get to where you need to be, it is necessary and that in itself might be the hardest lesson to learn.

“In my life, I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve missed, I’ve hurt, I’ve trusted, I’ve made mistakes but most of all….I’ve learned.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

The Little Big Voice

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We’ve all heard it whenever we do something wrong, or think we have done something wrong. We hear it when we take a fall, when we fail or when we know it is wrong and still do it only to find out that it was the wrong thing to do. It is at these times that the “inner critic” within is the loudest.

It yells, “Are you stupid? Why did you do that?”

It shouts, “You knew better but YOU still had to do that! WHY?”

“Your inner critic is the voice of your fear with a megaphone.” Unknown

There are other such moments but you get the picture. According to http://www.imermelbpsychology.com.au., your inner critic is that voice in your head that has a cold, demanding, harsh, punishing or mean quality to it,” and if you look deeper or further, “It is usually experienced as an inner voice attacking a person, saying that they are bad, wrong, inadequate, worthless, guilty and so on.” wikipedia.org

It is not a nice little voice and sometimes it booms when it wants to be heard. It has a tendency to make you feel anxious and often it magnifies the bad and minimizes the good in our lives. However, the inner critic is not something you’re born with but it is developed during childhood when a child often hears harsh criticism from “parents, caretakers, teachers and peers,” and it can change the way the brain develops. When it is given constant reinforcement of such negativity it helps to internalize self-judgment and a critical stance of oneself. The unhealthy inner critic leans towards destructive criticism and it can produce feelings of shame, low self-esteem, depression, self-doubt and it can undermine your self-confidence.

“Your inner critic re-affirms untruths about yourself that you have internalized to be true.” Athena Laz

This little big voice is not your cheerleader but it is very adapt at giving you the constant thumbs-down whenever you question something you’ve done or have thought about. Instead of bolstering you up, it joins in to tear you down and dances to the tune with glee. It is also exhausting, demoralizing and tells you in its loudest voice that you are not enough.

“The negative self-talk from your inner critic can be soothed by increasing your self-compassion and self kindness.” @heytiffanyroe

According to jessicaabel.com, you can soften that harsh and demanding voice. “When you access your inner critic and give it space and self-compassion, it will be more likely to ease up on you. When we slow down, ask questions, and take a breath; when we stop and don’t try to overwhelm and undermine that voice, we’re likely to find a little bit of wisdom about something that needs to be healed.”

“Understanding how the critical inner voice has affected your actions and held you back from opportunities will open your eyes to the power you have given to your inner critic.” Usha Maharaj

Turning down the volume on all that criticism, sort of taking away that megaphone to hush that loud and critical voice is one way to do it. Slaying it is not the answer because a little bit of “inner critic” is a good thing. Letting it get out of hand is another thing altogether and learning to respond to it is a good thing as well. This takes a lot of practice because you have to switch from silencing your inner critic to listening to it with empathy. Recruit it and add it your team. That seems like a good idea because we can all use some extra help in building us up and I think it (the inner critic) wants to help but unlike your intuition which has your best interest at heart, this spoiled and often loud voice just needs some taming to make it work for you.

If all else fails, you can:

“Press the switch off button to your inner critic and start being awesome.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

The “Me” Concept

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Who am I? Sounds simple enough but this is a hard one to answer. It encompasses all of you, the big picture so to speak. Who you are, what you stand for, what shaped you and the experiences that have made you, the “YOU” of today are all part and parcel of this concept. Understanding yourself is vital to how you interact with the world around you. There is only one YOU, and your identity is unique, It is made up of your values, your beliefs, your relationships and your experiences and that in a nutshell is who you are as a person.

However, interacting with the world around you is not always an easy thing to do. It is much bigger than you are and sometimes downright scary. Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter and might even help with where you are in the grand scheme of things as far as your world is concerned.

“Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” Unknown

One step at a time if you want to get somewhere and looking at that whole journey might just be a tad too overwhelming to say the least. Do it slowly and carefully and you’ll get there when the time is right.

“Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” Unknown

Absolutely worth taking a note of. How often do we hang around people who make us feel less than we are? It is time to clean house and start afresh with people worthy of your company.

“The problem isn’t that your friends aren’t showing up for you…

The problem is that you’re still calling them friends.” Unknown

“You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Choose carefully” Unknown

How true? Choose your friends carefully and the rest will fall into place.

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story,

LEAVE.” Mo Willems

If something is not working and it becomes a struggle, change your strategy. You are not stuck where you are, there is always a way out to start anew.

“She wanted something else, something different, something more, passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.” Nicholas Sparks

There you have it. Stop being the option and start being the priority. Stop choosing people who do not choose you.

Understand this….

“You can sound confident and have anxiety. You can look healthy but feel like shit. You can look happy and be miserable inside. You can be good looking and feel ugly. So be kind, because every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown

Just be kind.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

This actually speaks to the whole concept of who you are. What you do eventually becomes your character. Choose wisely and do the right thing.

“Learn to be done with people, not mad, not bothered but just done.” Unknown

This is hard for someone like me. It takes a lot to say I am done but I am learning. Sometimes it is a matter of survival the choices you make. Choose wisely.

“In the end, she became more than what she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going.” Unknown

This last one is poignant. I am on a journey of self-discovery and self-development and in so doing I am learning to give up what does not serve me, to change directions and to move towards what does. Not always easy I know but this is where self-awareness and self-worth comes in to guide you and to make it just a little less scarier than it is.

Have an amazing day.

Know Your Self Worth

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“Recognize your own worth and you won’t be drawn to those who don’t see it.” Doe Zantamata

According to medium.com, “Your value is directly linked to your belief. If you treat yourself like garbage, you’ll never appreciate your potential.”

It’s interesting how many of us walk into relationships expecting the other person to validate us in some way. We look to them to make us feel wanted, to feel loved, to feel that we are worthy and to make us feel special. Basically we hand over our power and energy to that person and wait to get reimbursed. When it doesn’t happen, we find ourselves in a dark place and beat ourselves down to a pulp.

The truth is, self-worth is your sense of self, your values and your belief that you are worthy of care, support and compassion. It basically means you value yourself enough to know the boundaries and limits and what you’ll accept and what you won’t. It is that feeling within you that says you are worthy and deserving of the right kind of love and that there is a balance in the relationship. If you’ve been doing the chasing and you’re the only one investing in the relationship with your time, energy and efforts and you are not getting or getting next to nothing in return, then it’s time to reevaluate and to take a good hard look at your self-worth. How much is it worth?

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor

If your self-worth is lacking, here are some strategies to improve it from the people in the know. (verywellmind.com)

Do things you enjoy and are good at:

These help to reinforce your strengths and abilities and can make you more confident.

Exercise and challenge yourself:

Physical activity is linked to a greater sense of self-worth. It also helps to recalibrate your mindset and offers both physical and mental benefits.

Challenge negative thoughts:

Thoughts are not facts. Next time you have a negative self-thought, think of an alternative realistic thought to replace it.

Be kind to yourself.

Learn to be assertive.

Start saying “no!” I have to learn this one myself.

Focus on the positive.

It is important to have a healthy sense of self-worth because loving, respecting and valuing yourself starts with you. It is the first step towards gaining the same from others.

“Once you discover your true worth, walking away from where you are not valued will become the easiest hard thing you will ever do.” Unknown

If they don’t see you as valuable then don’t try to convince them. Remember the only person you need validation from is you. You are enough as you are, you are worthy, you deserve respect, your well-being matters and so does your emotional health. Work on your self-worth and you’ll start attracting the right kind of people, the kind who will respect your worth.

“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.” Unknown

AND

“Know your worth and then make sure to add tax.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.