personal-growth – Page 8

The Little Big Voice

We’ve all heard it whenever we do something wrong, or think we have done something wrong. We hear it when we take a fall, when we fail or when we know it is wrong and still do it only to find out that it was the wrong thing to do. It is at these times that the “inner critic” within is the loudest.

It yells, “Are you stupid? Why did you do that?”

It shouts, “You knew better but YOU still had to do that! WHY?”

“Your inner critic is the voice of your fear with a megaphone.” Unknown

There are other such moments but you get the picture. According to http://www.imermelbpsychology.com.au., your inner critic is that voice in your head that has a cold, demanding, harsh, punishing or mean quality to it,” and if you look deeper or further, “It is usually experienced as an inner voice attacking a person, saying that they are bad, wrong, inadequate, worthless, guilty and so on.” wikipedia.org

It is not a nice little voice and sometimes it booms when it wants to be heard. It has a tendency to make you feel anxious and often it magnifies the bad and minimizes the good in our lives. However, the inner critic is not something you’re born with but it is developed during childhood when a child often hears harsh criticism from “parents, caretakers, teachers and peers,” and it can change the way the brain develops. When it is given constant reinforcement of such negativity it helps to internalize self-judgment and a critical stance of oneself. The unhealthy inner critic leans towards destructive criticism and it can produce feelings of shame, low self-esteem, depression, self-doubt and it can undermine your self-confidence.

“Your inner critic re-affirms untruths about yourself that you have internalized to be true.” Athena Laz

This little big voice is not your cheerleader but it is very adapt at giving you the constant thumbs-down whenever you question something you’ve done or have thought about. Instead of bolstering you up, it joins in to tear you down and dances to the tune with glee. It is also exhausting, demoralizing and tells you in its loudest voice that you are not enough.

“The negative self-talk from your inner critic can be soothed by increasing your self-compassion and self kindness.” @heytiffanyroe

According to jessicaabel.com, you can soften that harsh and demanding voice. “When you access your inner critic and give it space and self-compassion, it will be more likely to ease up on you. When we slow down, ask questions, and take a breath; when we stop and don’t try to overwhelm and undermine that voice, we’re likely to find a little bit of wisdom about something that needs to be healed.”

“Understanding how the critical inner voice has affected your actions and held you back from opportunities will open your eyes to the power you have given to your inner critic.” Usha Maharaj

Turning down the volume on all that criticism, sort of taking away that megaphone to hush that loud and critical voice is one way to do it. Slaying it is not the answer because a little bit of “inner critic” is a good thing. Letting it get out of hand is another thing altogether and learning to respond to it is a good thing as well. This takes a lot of practice because you have to switch from silencing your inner critic to listening to it with empathy. Recruit it and add it your team. That seems like a good idea because we can all use some extra help in building us up and I think it (the inner critic) wants to help but unlike your intuition which has your best interest at heart, this spoiled and often loud voice just needs some taming to make it work for you.

If all else fails, you can:

“Press the switch off button to your inner critic and start being awesome.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

The “Me” Concept

Who am I? Sounds simple enough but this is a hard one to answer. It encompasses all of you, the big picture so to speak. Who you are, what you stand for, what shaped you and the experiences that have made you, the “YOU” of today are all part and parcel of this concept. Understanding yourself is vital to how you interact with the world around you. There is only one YOU, and your identity is unique, It is made up of your values, your beliefs, your relationships and your experiences and that in a nutshell is who you are as a person.

However, interacting with the world around you is not always an easy thing to do. It is much bigger than you are and sometimes downright scary. Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter and might even help with where you are in the grand scheme of things as far as your world is concerned.

“Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” Unknown

One step at a time if you want to get somewhere and looking at that whole journey might just be a tad too overwhelming to say the least. Do it slowly and carefully and you’ll get there when the time is right.

“Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” Unknown

Absolutely worth taking a note of. How often do we hang around people who make us feel less than we are? It is time to clean house and start afresh with people worthy of your company.

“The problem isn’t that your friends aren’t showing up for you…

The problem is that you’re still calling them friends.” Unknown

“You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Choose carefully” Unknown

How true? Choose your friends carefully and the rest will fall into place.

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story,

LEAVE.” Mo Willems

If something is not working and it becomes a struggle, change your strategy. You are not stuck where you are, there is always a way out to start anew.

“She wanted something else, something different, something more, passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.” Nicholas Sparks

There you have it. Stop being the option and start being the priority. Stop choosing people who do not choose you.

Understand this….

“You can sound confident and have anxiety. You can look healthy but feel like shit. You can look happy and be miserable inside. You can be good looking and feel ugly. So be kind, because every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown

Just be kind.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

This actually speaks to the whole concept of who you are. What you do eventually becomes your character. Choose wisely and do the right thing.

“Learn to be done with people, not mad, not bothered but just done.” Unknown

This is hard for someone like me. It takes a lot to say I am done but I am learning. Sometimes it is a matter of survival the choices you make. Choose wisely.

“In the end, she became more than what she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going.” Unknown

This last one is poignant. I am on a journey of self-discovery and self-development and in so doing I am learning to give up what does not serve me, to change directions and to move towards what does. Not always easy I know but this is where self-awareness and self-worth comes in to guide you and to make it just a little less scarier than it is.

Have an amazing day.

Know Your Self Worth

“Recognize your own worth and you won’t be drawn to those who don’t see it.” Doe Zantamata

According to medium.com, “Your value is directly linked to your belief. If you treat yourself like garbage, you’ll never appreciate your potential.”

It’s interesting how many of us walk into relationships expecting the other person to validate us in some way. We look to them to make us feel wanted, to feel loved, to feel that we are worthy and to make us feel special. Basically we hand over our power and energy to that person and wait to get reimbursed. When it doesn’t happen, we find ourselves in a dark place and beat ourselves down to a pulp.

The truth is, self-worth is your sense of self, your values and your belief that you are worthy of care, support and compassion. It basically means you value yourself enough to know the boundaries and limits and what you’ll accept and what you won’t. It is that feeling within you that says you are worthy and deserving of the right kind of love and that there is a balance in the relationship. If you’ve been doing the chasing and you’re the only one investing in the relationship with your time, energy and efforts and you are not getting or getting next to nothing in return, then it’s time to reevaluate and to take a good hard look at your self-worth. How much is it worth?

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor

If your self-worth is lacking, here are some strategies to improve it from the people in the know. (verywellmind.com)

Do things you enjoy and are good at:

These help to reinforce your strengths and abilities and can make you more confident.

Exercise and challenge yourself:

Physical activity is linked to a greater sense of self-worth. It also helps to recalibrate your mindset and offers both physical and mental benefits.

Challenge negative thoughts:

Thoughts are not facts. Next time you have a negative self-thought, think of an alternative realistic thought to replace it.

Be kind to yourself.

Learn to be assertive.

Start saying “no!” I have to learn this one myself.

Focus on the positive.

It is important to have a healthy sense of self-worth because loving, respecting and valuing yourself starts with you. It is the first step towards gaining the same from others.

“Once you discover your true worth, walking away from where you are not valued will become the easiest hard thing you will ever do.” Unknown

If they don’t see you as valuable then don’t try to convince them. Remember the only person you need validation from is you. You are enough as you are, you are worthy, you deserve respect, your well-being matters and so does your emotional health. Work on your self-worth and you’ll start attracting the right kind of people, the kind who will respect your worth.

“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.” Unknown

AND

“Know your worth and then make sure to add tax.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Building Confidence

“Confidence is not “They will like me,” confidence is I will be fine if they don’t.” Christina Grimmie

You are not born with confidence, it is a process that gets stronger with time and it is also something that is learned and developed over time. However, it is not easy to build confidence especially if the environment you’re in or the challenges you face is working against you.

It’s a skill set which combines the thoughts we think and the actions we take and in order for it to work to your advantage, you have to believe in yourself and your abilities. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, then it goes without saying that your confidence and self-esteem will take a hit.

If you want to develop confidence, you first have to believe in yourself. Then you have to accept yourself as you are, this includes the good, the bad and the ugly parts. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and get comfortable with both. Now, improve on what you can improve. However, set realistic goals, ones that you can work towards achieving which in turn will boost your confidence.

One important aspect is to surround yourself with positive and supportive people because negative ones will drain your energy and drive you further down that rabbit hole.

“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” Helen Keller

An interesting quote and one that speaks to the heart of the matter. I think it’s 90% how you come across and 10% of the other stuff. If you can fake it by standing up tall, looking people in the eye and making an entrance like, “God sent you!” that’s more than half the battle won right there. Of course, there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. The latter is an overinflated sense of self-importance and “confidence” a healthy belief in yourself. Arrogance leads to outcomes you don’t want especially if you’re trying to build your confidence.

Start by loving yourself flaws and all. So what if you’re not perfect, most of us aren’t. Perfection isn’t everything but building on what you already possess is. A long time ago, I walked into a hall and I saw this stunning girl. She was pure perfection from the top of her head to the very soles of her feet. As I watched her, I realized that she was sorely lacking in one human trait. The smile was missing from her face and she was pure “arrogance” in a stunning package which took away from her attractiveness. So if you’re thinking the “attractive people” have it made, it is not necessarily the truth.

“Every time you catch yourself criticizing yourself, think of something you love about yourself.” Unknown

Confidence is necessary to achieve success. Confident people take risks and push themselves to achieve their goals. Here’s the thing, the more confident you are, the more likely you’re able to attract positive experiences which in turn makes your world a better place. More importantly, confidence helps you to handle failure better because you know that it is an opportunity to learn and grow and not something that is going to destroy your life.

“It’s OKAY”

To make mistakes.

To have bad days.

To be less than perfect.

To do what’s best for you.

To be yourself.

Finally, work that confidence! The more you practice and use it, the stronger it gets and smile while you’re doing it!

“Inhale confidence, exhale doubt.” Alex Toussaint

AND

“Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do. and at some point, you will.” Venus Williams

Have an amazing day

Becoming Your Best Self

I don’t think I am obsessed with becoming my best self but I would like to get halfway there at least. Learning to achieve that goal is not easy because it takes practice and a driven mindset to get there. I am still learning and keeping at it and who knows one day I might say, I did it!

Becoming your best self is not an overnight process and neither does it happen by pressing a button. It doesn’t happen accidentally, it doesn’t happen by chance and it doesn’t happen by waving a magic wand either. It takes action on your part and a commitment to self-discovery and self-development.

“To be your best self you’ll need to first discover who you really are, then maximize your strengths and improve on your weaknesses. You need to completely shift your mindset and take control of your life. When you do, you’ll discover a whole new you.” http://www.tonyrobbins.com

This journey is a hard one. You’ll encounter the good and bad moments, some will be messy and progress will be slow but if you persist and set goals you can achieve anything. Becoming your best self means opening yourself up to challenges, accepting the setbacks and living life to the fullest.

“Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.” Matthew McConaughey

According to notesbythalia.com, you need to practice wellness daily because it goes hand-in-hand with working towards your best self.

Get at least 7 hours of sleep daily. Move your body as much as you can. Eat well. Build healthy habits. Dedicate time to self-care.

You can’t lay in bed and manifest your dreams. It takes action to succeed. Ask yourself, what is success to you? Set value-driven goals and become “razor-clear on what your future vision looks like.” Align your daily habits with who you want to be and the life you want to live. “Boost your overall health, well-being and productivity,” meaning even your smallest daily actions will determine your future self.

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” Paulo Coelho

In a nutshell, becoming your best self requires going within to discover the greatness there. It requires strength to bring it to the fore AND it requires courage and hard work to make it shine.

“You are what you believe yourself to be.” Paulo Coelho

Change that mindset from one of negativity to positivity and watch your life take off!

But before you do that:

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, INCLUDING YOU.” Anne Lamont

Then go out and:

BE YOUR VERY BEST SELF!

Have an amazing day.

Positivity

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

This is a hard one because “positivity” is almost a foreign word in our vocabulary. The thing that comes to mind first and foremost are all the negatives we can drum up but looking for the positive is really hard to do.

How often do we get up in the mornings and the first thing that occupies our mind is all the stuff that went wrong yesterday and the outcome of that negativity facing us today. It could have been something small, something inconsequential but to us it is now a monster problem that is going to take up most of today if we let it. We love playing it over and over, adding to it and blowing it up into something unmanageable. Truth be told, all it takes is changing that negative mindset into a positive one and to say, “I CAN DO THIS!” Show up with a positive attitude and let the day takes its course. Not that simple but the other alternative is the one that is going to take you down the rabbit hole and keep you there and you don’t want that.

Here are a few positive quotes to get you on the way. Read, embrace and put them into practice.

“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond.

That’s where your power is.” Unknown

“Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negativity.” Unknown

“What’s on your mind becomes what’s in your life, so think the thoughts you want to see.” BoomSumo.com

“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.” Ed Cole

This is a really good one. Most times we stand still and wallow in our misery. Moving is the key here.

“Tough times don’t last. Tough people do.” Unknown

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” Willie Nelson

“Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It means that even on hard days you know that there are better ones coming.” Unknown

“Stay positive! The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.” Unknown

That is the absolute unvarnished truth!

“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.” Brene Brown

And this is often the hardest to do.

“Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s okay to have a melt down. Just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.” Unknown

Remember my “All That Baggage” post? Been there, done that and moving on!

I love this one below.

“Just for the record darling, not all positive change feels positive in the beginning.” S. C. Laurie

Ever been in a situation that seemed totally negative at first but turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to you? I’ve lived through many of those moments, cried my heart out but in the end it turned out for the best. Be brave enough to embrace the challenges and let it show you the way. Life knows what it is doing even if you don’t.

TODAY I WILL:

Stay positive

Learn & Grow

Worry Less

Say Kind Words

Laugh More

Choose Love

Believe in Myself

AND

LET GO OF NEGATIVITY

You’re on the way!

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

ALL THAT BAGGAGE

A soft reminder:

“not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry.” Unknown

I’m talking about emotional baggage, the kind that has gathered so much dust but we still carry them around like an albatross around our necks. Everyone has them but some find it easy to let go and to move on. Others lug it around because they love going back there for whatever the reason and than there are those who use it as a “get out of jail free card.” They whip it out as a talking point as to why they are stuck where they’re at and can’t see their way forward.

Most or all of the “emotional baggage” belongs in the past but unresolved issues, anger, sadness, grief or just plain, “I love living in the past” attitude puts it front and center and makes it very much a part of the present.

“Leave your baggage where it belongs. In the past. It has no place in your future.” Unknown

Things happen and oftentimes we have no control over it. It could be a break up or a painful event such as losing a loved one or even situations which cause anger, confusion and absolute disbelief. They happened and there is no changing the outcome but by carrying that baggage around like a well-worn trophy, it is not going to change what took place in the past. It happened and there is no going back. You can only move forwards.

“We all have baggage but there comes a time when you realize it’s time to UNPACK.” Unknown

Here are some examples of emotional baggage:

I’ll never be good enough.

I don’t deserve good things.

Everyone will leave me.

I am angry.

I will never forgive.

I can’t escape my past.

Nobody cares about me!

I hate my life!

I can’t move forward.

I failed.

This is as good as it gets.

Recognize any of them? I DO.

“Emotional baggage refers to “unfinished emotional issues, stressors, pain, and difficulties we’ve experienced that continue to take up space in our minds and affect our present relationships.” http://www.verywellmind.com

The truth is:

“Emotional baggage is heavy, and it’s way too expensive to keep dragging along to all the places that life wants to take you.” Unknown

No, it is not easy to get rid of emotional baggage because we keep filling it up every chance we get. It gets so full sometimes that I can’t zip it up for all the useless stuff that I fill it up with, mostly things that have happened and it is still there for all the reasons I have stated above. It’s time to refocus and discard what no longer serves you.

If you want to get rid of the ‘useless’ you need to do some work. According to http://www.griefworkcenter.com, “Identify what you have actually lost and grieve that which is gone, focus on your strengths that empower you; explore the tasks you need to complete to let go of the overwhelming feelings, and focus on how you have experienced growth because of what happened.”

I can hear one friend saying, “I CAN’T! It seems like only yesterday.” To that friend I say, “The truth is, it’s been more than 10 years. LET IT GO.” You don’t need that “get out of jail free card,” anymore, you have places to go.

AND

“Misery might love company but so does joy, and joy throws much better parties.” Billy Joey

Change Your Strategy

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

“Failure is hard. But turn those failures into learning experiences, so that you’ll look back and be happy that you failed, because you gained more knowledge from that experience. Sometimes, it’s simply an indication to change your strategy instead of giving up completely.” Albert Rogers

“Change your strategy” is often used in the business world to place emphasis on a module that is not working so it’s time to regroup and refocus your energy into bringing in new options to make whatever is not working into a workable one. This concept works in real-life as well. If something doesn’t work, change it. Seems like a great idea at first glance but hard to put into action if you love the ‘plan’ you’ve put into action and and are dead set against changing it. If you’re someone who doesn’t like change like yours truly here, it is a concept that is hard to comprehend let alone to work with.

“Waiting for something outside you to change before you change is a broken strategy. Fix it by deciding to be someone different and do something different. Transformation happens from the inside out if you take action.” Unknown

Taking that into account, it seems like the most sensible way to go about changing failure into a success story. The problem is you must want to. It’s not going to work any other way. Pinpoint the problem, refocus your energy, find ways to take a failure and change it into a winning solution and put it into action. If you think you’re doing everything right and you still don’t understand why you’re failing then it’s time to really look at what you’re doing and find a different way of doing it. There’s more than one way to skin a cat as the euphemism goes and no matter how offensive that might be, being a cat lover myself, it just means there are other ways of doing something. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Be open to change and change your strategy. However, there are times when you can do everything possible until you’re blue in the face and still the same old failure concept comes knocking at your door and if that’s the case, do not despair. You’ll get there, just keep trying.

Learn to roll with the punches, keep getting back up when life knocks you down and never ever give up.

“When you face failures, don’t change your goal, change your strategy.” Vivek Bindra

I’ve experienced life in all its wonderful and not so wonderful facets and the one that I hate or hated the most was change. My motto was, “Why fix something if it ain’t broke.” The actual thought behind that was, “I like where I’m at, good or bad and change is for the birds!” It took years of resistance, falling down, refusing to get back up and digging my heels in AND screaming, “Leave me alone!” to realize that change is an integral part of life. It teaches us in a not so nice way that it’s needed, falling makes you gain experience and you learn that YOU are not God. So move along, embrace change before it’s too late. I learned it the hard way and I still bristle when I see ‘change’ coming around but these days I’m ready to embrace it, learn what it has to offer and to accept it for what it is. A lesson learned because it has to be learned.

“Failure is nothing more than a chance to revise your strategy.” Unknown

Oops! I’ve got to run. I see ‘change’ approaching wearing a smile on its face and with bells clanging and I’m not in the mood for it today. Just kidding.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Limiting Beliefs

“The only limits that exist are the ones in your own mind.” Unknown

A limiting belief is defined as,”a state of mind or belief about yourself that restricts you in some way. And these beliefs are often false accusations you make about yourself that can cause many negative results. Essentially, they are the lies you tell yourself, and if you allow them to continue, they define you.” http://www.linkedin.com

We all have them and we use them to define who we are as a person and what we are capable of achieving. Most of these beliefs carry negative connotations and they are designed to keep us from moving ahead in life. Here are some of them.

I am not good enough! This one is very familiar at least to yours truly. Quite often, I use this as my mantra to keep me in my rabbit hole. I venture out to take a peek and then I rush back into the hole where I am most comfortable. If I could, I would stay there forever but than again even rabbits come out to play from time to time and to observe life as it passes by. Partake or not, that is up to you. What does, “I’m not good enough,” really mean? It is a mindset that is well-ingrained into your psyche and once it has taken hold, it is next to impossible to get rid off. Perhaps changing the negative to the positive might help. I AM GOOD ENOUGH! Say that often enough and it might just give that not so friendly sod, a heave and a ho and send it packing.

“Limiting Beliefs have one goal…..to keep you from leaving your Comfort Cave so you can’t grow and reach your greatest potential.” Unknown

I don’t have enough time…..this is another crippling lie and it is not true. If you look at the amount of time we waste propped up in front of the TV or sitting hunched over our lap top doing nothing much except to let these two gadgets dictate how we spend our time and nothing more. Truth is, you and I know that we have the time to do better things. We just need to do less of one and more of the things that contribute to our lives and crush those limiting beliefs that keep us from achieving our goals.

The next lie is one that loves to keep you in your place. If only I was taller, prettier, skinnier…..the list goes on and you get the drift. This one is designed to shrink you to 1/2 or a 1/4 of the size you actually are. Each time you repeat and accept this mantra in your head, you see this short, fat and ugly person staring back at you. It is not the reality but one you’ve chosen to accept as your reality. You, no matter what your size, height, weight or looks have just as much to offer this world than the other person. Pat yourself on the back and go conquer the world! I heard a saying once that goes like this. “Walk in like God sent you!”A good one to hold close to your chest and to pull out at those moments when you feel lacking or feeling smaller than you actually are.

Limiting beliefs need constant work. They are not easy to overcome but with time, effort and a conscious effort to defeat them, you’ll find yourself on the other side of the fence, the one that is more positive and forgiving but if nothing helps than perhaps this will.

“Do the uncomfortable. Become comfortable with these acts. Prove to yourself that your limiting beliefs die a quick death if you will simply do what you feel uncomfortable doing.” Darren Rowse

Gratitude

Zig Ziglar called it the healthiest of all human emotions and it is one that is often overlooked in our day to day existence of what we call “living.” It is unpretentious, it takes its place quietly in the ranks of emotions and waits to be recognized like a step child who is often left wanting. More often than not we walk past without giving it the recognition it deserves.

“Gratitude helps you see what’s there instead of what isn’t.” Unknown

What is gratitude?

Simply put and according to graygroupintl.com, “It is a deep sense of appreciation for the good things in our lives, both big and small. It is about recognizing the positive aspects and expressing gratitude for them. When we practice gratitude, it not only benefits our mental health but also our physical well-being.”

If it is that important, why hasn’t this poster-child for good mental health been given more attention and accolades?

Perhaps, it is because as humans we have a tendency to overlook the “good stuff” and we tend to focus on the lack thereof and all the negatives it entails. If only I had this, then life would be so much better is the mantra we wear with pride and have hone it to an art form that we are blinded to the abundance that surrounds us.

“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.” Rumi

Practice it daily and it will turn your life around. I still haven’t grasped this concept of being grateful but I am working on it.

How do you practice gratitude? According to mindful.org, the people in the know, it starts like this and if you do it regularly, “it is a game-changer; it has far reaching effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others. Living your life with gratitude helps you notice the little wins— and over time strengthens your ability to notice the good.”

Start by observing. Notice the thank yous you say.

Keep a journal of all that you are grateful for and believe me there is plenty to be thankful for.

Make a vow to be grateful everyday.

Meditate – anchor yourself to the good things in your life. Be mindful and live in the present.

The day before was a tough day. Things just didn’t go the way I wanted it to and so my focus was on all the bad stuff which in turn helped me to go further down the rabbit hole. At the end of the day I decided that today would be better. The gratitude part didn’t come till later. I went ahead and booked a massage and as I was lying on the table, face down and staring into nothingness, listening to the soothing music in the background, a small voice said, “Say thank you.” I did and I repeated it several times just in case it didn’t hear me the first me! As the masseuse applied gentle strokes to my back, I realized that I was surrounded with and by abundance.

I slowly started counted off the things I was grateful for and the list was never-ending. The gorgeous day, the blue skies, my friends, the people who cared about my existence and last but not least the wonderful massage that helped to soothe my frazzled nerves. It was a game-changer. I walked out of there with a smile on my face, my woes forgotten for the moment at least and well-prepared for the day ahead.

If you can’t afford a massage even the simplest of things will do it. Go for a walk, pay attention to the sights and sounds, things that help to lift up your soul. It could be as simple as taking in a deep breath, or watching a bird in flight or a tree in bloom, its colors mesmerizing and the scent wafting by better than any artificially manufactured perfume but most of all say, “THANK YOU.” Be grateful for the abundance surrounding you, the roof over your head, the food, nature and all the little and big things that help to make up your life and soon the glass will no longer be half empty but overflowing. A friend said to me, “you need to do what you preach,” and he is right. Thank you friend or being my friend!

Practicing gratefulness is helping to turn things around in my life. It doesn’t come easily but the more I say, thank you and appreciate what is around me, the less I see the negatives not that they aren’t there mind you, but to a lesser extent. This too takes time.

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” Tony Robbins