relationships – Page 9

Disrespect

It is defined as “insulting someone or displaying rude behavior by showing a lack of respect.”

Have you experienced it? I have and it is not a nice thing when faced with such behavior. There are three forms of disrespect. These are known as the passive, subtle and the blatant variety.

Passive disrespect is when someone is condescending, makes insulting insinuations, gives you the silent treatment, is sarcastic and doesn’t care if it is hurtful or not. How do you deal with this kind of disrespect?

Don’t take the bait and address the issue immediately.

Subtle disrespect is when someone mocks you, when they talk behind your back and they will pretend to have forgotten things you agreed on.

Show that it doesn’t affect you or decide if you want to engage. Name the disrespectful behavior you have observed and call them out on it. Have a conversation about it but do not lecture.

Blatant disrespect is the no holds barred variety. They go out of their way to deliberately undermine or demean you. Their actions are obvious and they don’t give a hoot if it hurts you.

Here again stay calm but it is hard to do. Use “I” statements when addressing the issue and ask for clarification. You can react with kindness but since that is almost impossible to do, call the person out on his or her behavior and set boundaries as to what you will or won’t tolerate.

If all else fails, you have the option of walking away and closing the door behind you. No one should put up with disrespect. Disrespect basically says, “You are not important and your feelings don’t matter to me.” The truth is, you are important and your feelings do matter. Do not tolerate disrespect of any kind.

Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:

“The best way to end disrespect is by not giving them a chance to do it again.” Unknown

“Disrespect is the weapon of the weak.” Alice Miller

“Wasting somebody’s time may be the highest form of disrespect.” Unknown

I like the next one a lot.

“Never let your heart be so forgiving that it gets comfortable with disrespect.” Unknown

“Don’t put up with disrespect just to keep them in your life.” Sonya Parker

“Be careful what you tolerate, you are teaching people how to treat you.” Unknown

This last one needs a plaque of its own!

Detox Your Life in 4 Easy Steps

Eliminate anyone who:

Lies to you

Disrespects you

Uses you or

Puts you down.

Have an amazing day.

This Friendship Thing

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“Sometimes you need someone to be there for you. Not to fix the problem or offer advice or do anything in particular, but simply to be there. To show up. To be present with what you’re feeling. To see what you’re going through. To see you, understand you.” Unknown

Can men and women just be friends? This is the question that popped up, “When Harry Met Sally,” and sent some of us scrambling for answers. The answer as far as I’m concerned is that it is next to impossible in most cases.

I used to be the proverbial tomboy in my younger days and as such I had some wonderful friendships with the boys I hung out with. It was nothing sexual but of the innocent variety. I had my pigtails tucked under my cap and my ensemble of shorts and t-shirt had seen better days but I was for all purposes one of the boys.

It all changed when I turned sixteen. I got asked out on my first date. He was cute and I accepted. It was also the first time that I had worn my long hair down leaving it brushed and shiny and I wore a dress for the very first time! Lo and behold, things changed after that. I was no longer “one of the boys” but someone they wanted to dance with and spend time with. However, this friendship thing was still there. I learned that boys and later men make very good friends. There is none of the bitchiness, envy or jealousy, it was just straightforward, “I’m your friend,” stuff and all that it entails.

Later during my university days “friendship” with young men was still going strong. I had lots of men friends and although some were happy to be just a friend, others wanted more and that became complicated and made things difficult.

Now, I’m finding out that men are not as simple as they seem. There is a thing called, “friends with benefits,” and it is not my thing and never has been. I’m seeking the pure friendship variety like I used to know when life was simple and innocence was front and center. The problem is no matter how hard I try to make it clear right from the start it never fails before it starts heading in an unwanted direction. Not too long ago, I had this conversation with a male friend. We’ve known each other for quite some time and we’ve done walks, lunches and dinners but nothing more. Well, just a hug or a peck on the cheek as friends do. Here’s how the conversation went.

Me: Wouldn’t it be nice to have a Pyjama Party? We can watch some movies and just talk?

Him: I would like some snacks.

Me: Sure, I can get that.

I was thinking this is going great. Just some company with no hassles whatsoever!

Him: I don’t think I can do that!

Me: Why not?

Him: I CAN’T!”

Hmm…does everything have to be sexual? He was honest and that was a good thing but I wanted my good old days back and the reality is, those days have flown the coop!

Let me ask you:

“Can men and women ever just be friends?”

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” Ed Cunningham

Have an amazing day.

Staring into the Abyss

A Series on Getting Back on Track

I heard this somewhere, not sure where and not sure who said it but it stuck with me. It goes like this.

Standing on top of a cliff and looking down, I hear myself say, “What if I fall?” A voice comes back and says, “Oh, my darling, what if you fly?”

It stuck with me because there were many times when I’ve stood on that cliff and asked that very same question, “What if I fall?” I refused to contemplate that I might just fly. I stayed because I was afraid to take that step forward. Fear of the unknown kept me there, of what I couldn’t see did the rest. I knew that staying where I was would keep me captive but staring into that abyss has kept me a prisoner.

After my divorce, I stood at the crossroads and wondered which way I should go? Everything told me to take the road less travelled. Go embrace the unknown it said. ”What have you got to lose?” I stayed put and took the other turn. The one that was familiar, the one my heart knew so I embraced the pain that was still there and refused to budge.

Along my journey, I met men who reminded me of “him.” Mostly mediocre relationships with mediocre men. My heart was content because there was comfort in the familiar and I did not have to navigate unfamiliar territory. I knew the path well. Mediocre relationships is defined as a “relationship with another person which is typically a symptom of a mediocre relationship with yourself. When you don’t know yourself or honor your needs, it’s easy to stay in a mediocre relationship. Mediocre can be safe, familiar, just enough….but not deeply fulfulling or vibrant.”

Accepting how I was treated made me believe I was loved. Afterall, it was familiar territory. I felt safe thinking this is the real deal. I knew there was more out there than someone blurting out, “I love you,” without any thought as to what it really meant. It didn’t matter, I was on cloud nine but the reality was mediocre brings mediocrity. Why do we accept it? ”It comes from a fear of failing as well as not being willing to deal with others tearing you down.” The truth is, I saw it, I felt it and I accepted it and so I stayed to fight another day.

Strangely enough no matter how many times I got hurt and the truth kept staring me in the face, I held on for dear life. I was basically saying there isn’t anything better out there. Why do you need better? Isn’t this enough? The “this” being a lukewarm relationship with no substance to it. You see the person I am alluding to was having a mediocre relationship with himself and so did not see “me”, the real me, he was busy slaying his own demons. Like attracts like? Perhaps but here is where I found myself until I saw what Mark Sterling had to say.

If you want to soar in life, you must learn to

F.L.Y (First Love Yourself)

I realized at that moment that I had lost myself along the way. I had stopped loving myself, the reason for all my woes. The divorce wasn’t my fault, the aftermath painful but it had nothing to do with me. I was not the reason for the pain and suffering. It was thrown in front of me and I had to deal with it. Through it all, I put myself in the background and I learned to crawl. So here I am standing on the cliff again and staring into the abyss before me. One step forward will take me into the unknown, the uncomfortable, into the midst of terror and then I hear a voice say, “Oh, my darling, but what if you fly?”

“You were born with potential.

You were born with goodness and trust.

You were born with ideals and dreams.

You were born with greatness.

You were born with wings.

You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.

You have wings.

Learn to use them and fly. (Rumi)

Here I go.…….

Update:

I wrote this article last year. Where am I now? I’ve made some inroads but there is miles to go before I rest. I am learning, accepting, letting go and moving on. A process that is never ending it seems but I’m hoping that when I reach my goal or journey’s end, I am where I want to be. It takes courage, strength and believing that there is a better out there.

Have an amazing day.

Narcissists

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Approach with caution or not at all! You will meet many different types of people when you put yourself out there in the dating scene so be careful. Here is one type that you need to stay away from at any cost if you want to walk away with your self-esteem, your heart and your mental state intact.

A young man sat by a river gazing at his own reflection. ”How beautiful he is. I wish I can be with him forever,” he said to his reflection. He was obsessed and couldn’t pull away. Eventually he died of thirst, hunger and unrequited love. His name was Narcissus and he was the son of the river god in Greek mythology. Narcissism originated from his name.

Narcissistic personality disorder is defined as “a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships and a lack of empathy for others.” According to the Mayo Clinic definition, they also have low self-esteem and are extremely sensitive to criticism.

“The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the empty, writhing shells.” Sam Vaknin

Scary? You better believe it. Ever met one of these walking disasters on your trek into the dating world? If not, you should thank your lucky stars. If yes, you know what I am talking about. The problem is you might be in a relationship with one of these types and not even know it because they are hard to spot. Here are some signs to look out for.

The number 1 trait of a narcissist is, “an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and they require constant, excessive admiration.” If that doesn’t make you want to slam the door shut on them, the following will help you to do exactly that. They are arrogant, lack empathy, are entitled, have feelings of superiority and grandiosity and they have a need to be powerful, successful, smart, admired or loved. They usually get away with wrongdoings and when denial doesn’t work, they turn to rage and all this at your cost I might add.

According to Dr. Brenda Wade, narcissists only think of themselves first and foremost, they want to win, they do not care about your feelings, they are always manipulating for their own personal gain and benefit and they make you think that you are the problem. Finally, gaslighting is their stock and trade.

Why haven’t you noticed these traits right from the start? It seems there is this thing called the ‘fantasy’ phase where you are idolized, more specifically it’s the where you can do nothing wrong phase, but it goes downhill from there.

“The narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom: No matter how much you put in, you can never fill it up. The phrase, “I never feel like I am enough” is the mantra of the person in a narcissistic relationship. That’s because to your narcissistic partner, you are not. No one is. Nothing is.” Ramani Durvasula.

If you have been in one of these relationships you might walk away questioning your self-worth, what you stand for and won’t stand for and more often than not it leaves you broken to the core afraid to step out there again. Where? The world of dating is fraught with many minefields as I have said before and this particular breed is nasty, uncaring and not worth your time. If you are going to be out there, arm yourself first with knowledge and if you should by chance meet a narcissist, RUN don’t walk!

“It’s so nice when toxic people stop talking to you. It’s like the trash took itself out.” Karen Salmansohn

Or this:

Relationships with narcissists are held in place by the hope of a ‘someday better,’ with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.” Ramani Durvasula

Finally this:

The Narcissist’s Prayer

That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, that’s not my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did, you deserved it. By Dayna Craig

She nailed it folks!

Stay safe and have an amazing day.

Love is….

I took a walk in nature today to clear my mind and somehow came back home with love on my mind. What is it? Is it just a feeling or something more? Don’t ask me why or how I got on this topic but it crossed my mind and here I am ready to see what it’s all about it.

“Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust.” http://www.verywellmind.com

I decided to look a little deeper and found some quotes that describe love in all its entirety and here are some of my favorites.

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” Paulo Coelho

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times.” Ann Landers

I like the next one a lot. Why? Because I am a romantic at heart and it speaks to my soul. See what I mean?

“Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing.” Torquato Tasso

“I don’t want a perfect person. I just want someone to act silly with, someone who treats me well and loves being with me more than anything.” Unknown

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” Oscar Wilde

Oscar said it well, don’t you think? Simply beautiful.

“The real lover is a man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.” Marilyn Monroe

Who knew Ms. Monroe had it in her. The blonde bombshell went deeper than her looks and I love that quote.

Next is my girl, Carrie Bradshaw. She knows her love material well.

“I am someone who is looking for real love; ridiculous. inconvenient. consuming. can’t-live-without-each other love.”

“I’d like to think that people have more than one soulmate. If you miss one, along comes another. Like cabs.”

I am not too sure about that one. Perhaps they won’t be called soulmates anymore. Just run of the mill types who walk in and out of your life and that might be a more appropriate description.

My favorite of them all is this one below.

“The heart that’s meant to love you will fight for you when you want to give up, pick you up when you’re feeling down, and will give their smile when it’s hard for you to find yours. They will NEVER get strength from seeing you weak, power from seeing you hurt, or joy from seeing you cry. The heart that’s meant to love you wants to see the best of you, not the hurt you! Never forget that.” Trent Shelton

Feeling all loved up? I know I am. Enjoy your day.

Have an amazing day.

SINGLEDOM

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Being “single” is cringeworthy to some, unbelievable to others, unbearable to those who think “single” is a bad word and a “no go” in today’s society of settling for anything even if it means you are with the wrong person just so long as you have someone to boost your image.

Single is defined as “the state of being unmarried or not involved in a long-term relationship.”

I’m both right now but I have to say it’s working out for me. I love spending time by myself and I’m learning that I like who I am. All the clutter that clouds my mind in a relationship is gone and for a change there is peace and clarity within.

“You’re single not because you are not good enough for one, it’s that you’re too good for the wrong one.” Chris Burkmein

Sometimes we make the wrong choices and wind up in relationships that are not good for us. Taking the time as I am doing to find out why I keep falling for the wrong types is a necessary move on my part. Making a promise to do better the next time around is an integral part of the journey I’m on. It’s a journey of self-discovery and I’m not rushing things. I’m taking my time going within to weed out all the destructive bits that lead me on the self-same journey over and over again.

“It takes a strong person to remain single in a world that is accustomed to settling with anything just to say they have something.” Unknown

Settling is not my thing and never has been and I’m stubborn to a fault. Put the two together and you have someone who may never find the right one and “single” is in her cards forever! However, I’m not giving up hope. Working on myself is a priority this year and when and if the “new” someone shows up, I hope I’ll be ready to lower the banner I have around my heart which says, “Do Not Disturb, Work in Progress!“

It has been said:

“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings. Remember that next time you feel alone.” Parade

AND

“I’ve been single for a while and I have to say, it’s going very well.

Like…..It’s working out.

I think I’m the one.”

Unknown

All jokes aside, being “single” is nothing to be ashamed of. It just means you are taking time out for yourself, learning who you are, loving yourself, working on your self-worth and when the time is right, you’ll get your wings and you’ll learn to fly with the right person.

“Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

You vs. You

“It’s you versus you. Meaning you’re the only thing standing in your way.” Amber Tamblyn

The battle lines are often drawn when it comes to facing life’s adversities, difficulties and the unknown. How often do you say, “This is too hard to handle or I can’t do this!” Life’s uncertainties are often met with, I am unworthy, I am too small, I am insignificant, I am not pretty enough, I am not capable, I am not enough and so on. We come up with so many excuses as to why we can’t achieve something or why it is impossible but if truth be told, we make mountains out of molehills. I often point my fingers at everything but myself. I become small and that problem, whatever it is, changes shape and becomes a mountain. It doesn’t matter that the mountain is of my own making, it’s there and it seems insurmountable.

What if we take a step back and view it from a different angle? Is it still insurmountable? How about if we changed our mindset to one of “I can” instead of “I can’t?” I know some problems are huge and they remain huge no matter which way you look at it but there are others that become that way because the “you” the negative “you” sees it that way and so it looms larger than life and once that negative mindset takes hold, it is all downhill from there. I’ve started looking at problems as just that. They are problems yes but I’ve decided to downsize them. I give them a cursory glance at first then I break it down into pieces and tackle it that way. Gone are the days of heart-thumping and end-of-the-world theatrics. No, it hasn’t made the problem any less of a problem but breaking it down does make it more manageable. Perhaps we need to remember it is not you vs. you but YOU working with you to come up with a solution, one that is workable.

It has been said you are your own worst enemy but what if you become your own best friend? Wouldn’t life be so much easier not to mention simpler? Here are some tips on how to do exactly that from the mindful.org.

When you look at the mirror, appreciate the unique person staring back at you – there’s never been another you!

When you talk to yourself, be friendly! Be understanding! NEVER BE MEAN!

When you need lovin’, give yourself a self-hug. Don’t knock it ’till you try it!

Don’t be shy to use your name and tell yourself that you love you.

Make a date with yourself to do something kind and caring.

Make yourself laugh.

Take time for contemplative practices that help you stay tuned in to your body, mind and emotions so that you might always be able to access your inner wisdom.

Idowu Koyenikan had this to say about problems.

“Mountains are only a problem when they are bigger than you. You should develop yourself so much that you become bigger than the mountains you face.”

If all else fails, you can give the “you” that is causing you problems a boot out the door! That should do it. Easier said than done I know and finally, YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE so don’t underestimate yourself.

Have an amazing day.

Stop People Pleasing!

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People pleasing is described as “a person who consistently strives to please others, often sacrificing their own wants or needs in the process.”

Guilty as charged! I didn’t know this about me but I’m a “yes” person and I tend to jump hoops to help others and in so doing my needs and wants are often placed on the backburner.

Here are some signs of a people pleaser:

You put other people’s needs before your own.

You allow others to take advantage of your kindness.

You feel guilty when you take care of yourself.

You find it hard to say NO.

You stay in relationships that are not good for you.

You worry about the future a lot.

“Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do.” Rachel Wolchin

That is the absolute truth. The more you give, the more is taken. It is expected that you give and give but if you step back and take a long hard look at the situation as I did last year, I realized it was time to put a stop to the constant giving cycle I was in. It comes down to setting boundaries, strong ones that don’t buckle under pressure.

“The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are those who benefited from you having none.” Unknown

It’s time to say NO and to stick to it. Taking small steps as with everything else helps in getting you out of the people pleasing mode and towards being more confident and assertive.

According to Emily Roberts, here’s how to stop those people pleasing habits.

Stop. Stop saying yes when you want to say no.

Take your time saying yes to favors. Think about it first.

Be fair. Are you being fair to yourself when you say yes.

Don’t over-apologize. Just say, “I am sorry and leave it at that.”

Start small. Limit your availability and your time.

Forget the fear. If people get mad when you say no, you shouldn’t be with such people in the first place anyway.

Ask for help. If it’s too much to handle, ask for help.

Brene Brown says:

“When we’re busy pleasing, perfecting, and performing, we end up saying YES a lot when we mean NO.”

What caught my eye and held my interest is the “performing” part in that quote. I suppose we do perform like actors would trying to please people all of the time. In time, this drains us and it saps our energy. More importantly, you get exploited or manipulated by others. The end result is mental fatigue and burnout.

If you’re a people pleaser STOP! Teach others to respect your boundaries and learn to say NO more often. I have to remind myself of this too. You know what you’ll put up with and what you won’t so do it. It is life changing and freeing at the same time.

When someone says:

“You’ve changed”—

You say : No actually I think the proper term is

“I’ve stopped trying to please you.”

Have an amazing day.

Terms of Endearment

“That’s a gesture of endearment in some cultures. Some hug, some kiss, some set each other on fire in small patches of woodland.” Jonathan Stroud

I guess that last part comes in when the relationship goes down south! Closer to home and of the less insane variety, we dish them out like there’s no tomorrow when it comes to endearing terms. It’s meant to show the newly significant other that they are dear to us and laying it on thick and heavy with such “words” is the way to go about doing it. Be it “Angel” “Sweetheart” “Babe” “Lovebug” “Sweetie Pie” “Cupcake” “Sweetie” or as Daenerys (Khaleesi) referred to her husband, Khal Drogo, as “my sun and stars” and he referred to her as, “moon of my life.” Swoonworthy right? However, Daenerys smothers him with a pillow to save him from misery in the end. It was love but celestial bodies do take a dive now and then.

“Because I’ve got a lot more terms of endearment to use. Honeypie. Sugarplum. Bread pudding. “Why are they all high-calorie foods?” Richelle Mead

That’s what I would like to know but you forgot cheesecake! Some of them border on the ridiculous and yet it is part and parcel of the dating world and into the relationship existence. My friend, the one who passed away, used to call me “Lovely,” and at times “Babe.” It was an automatic response and I don’t think he gave it much thought.

Terms of endearment is defined as, “a word or phrase used to address or describe a person, animal or inanimate object which the speaker feels love or affection for.” Another explanation is that it is used “to put people at ease and is a form of approval, empathy, and to show interest.” All fine and good but what happens when the relationship goes south? You guessed it. There are terms for that too but needless to say I’m not going to get into them. Let’s just say that they are not of the nice variety and oftentimes it negates all the “sweet” stuff that we pour on in a fast and furious manner as in the beginning of the relationship. Ones that take you to places you don’t want to go.

Here’s a tip:

“Cheesecake” is my favorite so if you want to get anywhere with me and see my eyes light up, you know what to say!

Update: I’m on Day 4 of no cheesecake and I’m doing okay so far. I still hear it calling but nope, it’s a done deal! Read my article, “The Cheesecake Dilemma” to know what I’m talking about.

Finally, terms of endearment are flitting at best. Permanency doesn’t define its lifespan but spur of the moment does. With that in mind, I’m signing off to go see what “Buttercup,” is doing. That’s my TOE for my cat, Chachi. I’ve got a ton of other names for him and the repertoire is growing everyday! Good that the love shine hasn’t worn off yet.

Have an amazing day.

The Questions

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Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes when it comes to relationships? Why do we gravitate to the same types of people?

These are the questions I ask myself over and over again. It seems that I am drawn to the same types I left behind. It’s been a never-ending cycle and it seems like Groundhog’s Day over and over again to the point that it is horrific and mind-boggling to say the least.

Liars, cheaters and emotionally-unavailable men seem to draw me in like they’re magnetized and I have no willpower when it comes to these types. I walk in gladly like a lamb to the slaughter.

There is a reason so say the experts. They say “opposites attract” and “we are drawn to people who are strong in areas we are weak.” Hmm….there is more to this concept according to them. Two people who have an abusive past will be attracted to each other because they are viewed as equals. However, an abuser is not necessarily attracted to another abuser. He’s attracted to an “abusee” – or someone who will tolerate and enable his abuse. So to make it short and to the point, the “abusee” is familiar with abuse, be it physical, sexual or emotional abuse and so she is attracted to someone who gives her what she’s already comfortable with it.”

Lord have mercy!

Is there no way out of this pattern? There is but first you need to know that:

“Simplicity and Complexity need each other.” Unknown

However, there is a way out but not an easy one. You have to work at it with a narrow-minded focus.

Here goes. If you want to attract better, you must be better meaning you need to discard what is within you, the cause for your need to be abused. Find out where it stems from. Your childhood? Adulthood? The experts say look for patterns and don’t sweep what you find under the rug. The only way to learn from it, get past it, is to go through it. Otherwise, you’re doomed to repeat and attract the same types only in a different body!

This is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. As I have said in one of my other article, I am like a heat-seeking missile when it comes to the types I mentioned above. I find them!

Here are some tips from beyourownbrandofsexy.com on how to attract quality or high-value men. First, know yourself well and know what you need in a relationship and what matters to you.

Identify your Needs

Know what works and won’t work for you. Be selective and be ready to discard if something shows up as a red flag. “Loving the wrong person teaches you the red flags to watch out for the next time around.”

Don’t Settle

This is important. We tend to settle when we know that the person is the wrong type only because we tell ourselves that he will change or I can make him change. They don’t change, what they show you is what you get. So how do you stop attracting narcissists and the wrong men? DO NOT let them get close to you. Know what your non-negotiable dealbreakers are and stick to them.

Be your Own Person

This means be your own true authentic self. Say “no” to bad matches. Become your true, authentic self which helps you to gravitate to people who are better matches for you.

Be Persistent

If you want to end up in a solid relationship, persistence pays. This doesn’t mean being persistent in chasing the wrong types but staying true and waiting for the right one to show up. Dating is a learning experience and unfortunately, you’ll have rejections, bad dates and disappointments AND you’ll have to kiss some frogs but if you keep at it and know what you want, you might just land the man of your dreams.

While you’re working on that, take care of yourself as well. No point letting yourself go because that is not going to do it. Lose some weight if you have to, get fit both mentally and physically, take care of your skin and teeth because one guy did ask me to show him my teeth on our first date! They’re out there. Just know that physical appearance matters so present the best version of yourself.

Now, I have to go figure out the patterns in my life which make me attract the same types over and over again. That’s the cycle I need to break! I definitely want to break this cycle of attracting low-value men and having to kiss frogs and hoping that they’ll turn into Prince Charming. Time to get working to put my best self forward armed with the knowledge of exactly what I’ll settle for.

I swear if this doesn’t work I’m giving up altogether!

Have an amazing day.