November 2024 – Page 2

The Five W’s of Life

Photo by Natasha Fernandez on Pexels.com

There are many lessons to learn during our lifetime but according to overstu.com, the five W’s of Life helps to navigate us through the intricacies of this long and winding road if we learn the answers to the five question words. They are who, what, when, where and why. Learn them, find the answers and practice them to make the most of your life.

“WHO you are is what makes you special. Do not change for anyone.”

The message here is that you are special and unique and you do not have to change to fit anyone’s idea of what normal is. Just remember, you have something to offer this world just as you are. The people who are meant to be in your life will accept you flaws and all. No changes needed or perhaps just a little tweaking needed. Always remember YOU are enough.

“WHAT lies ahead will always be a mystery. Do not be afraid to explore.”

This is a hard one. We want that crystal ball to show us what lies ahead because the future is murky and because of our need to know before taking that step forward. Guess what? Whether you want to or not, there is no stopping the future and you will just have to deal with it when it comes around. You can’t change the future but you can make it better by living in the here and now and putting your best effort forward to make it a good one. Of course, fear not the future is the message but it is easier said than done.

“WHEN life pushes you over, you push back.”

I don’t like this one. It means you’ll have to be brave to deal with whatever comes your way. You can certainly choose to give up but that’s not an option and if you want to survive what life throws your way, you’ll have to toughen up, put your big girl panties on and deal with it. Failure is one such experience. Not trying another and it often brings about missed opportunities and staying within your comfort zone another bad decision. Try and try harder. If you fail the first time around so what, try again. The message here is to NEVER GIVE UP!

WHERE there are choices to make, make the ones you won’t regret.

This one is self-explanatory. Make the right choices and life will be so much better but how many of us do that? We love the wrong people, we make the wrong choices in food, health and a whole host of other things. Human nature I suppose BUT if we are lucky enough we can still learn to make the right choices to get ourselves back on track again. Not always possible but here again, never give up and keep on trying.

WHY things happen will never be certain. Take it in and move forward.

This is a big one. How often have we asked why? Why did the relationship break up? Why did a loved one have to die? Why did this happen to me? All legit questions and we want answers where there is none to be had. You’ll have to trust that nothing happens by chance and some how at a later point in time the answers will be revealed to you. You’ve heard the phrase, “Yours is not to ask the reason why?” Well, hard to do, really hard but trusting everything happens for a reason might be a step in the right direction and not losing hope your stronghold.

Five questions to ask and to pay attention to the answers coming back. Step forward equipped with WHO you are, WHERE you are going, WHAT your life is about, WHY things happen and WHEN you do, maybe the secret of life will be revealed to you. Not holding my breath but it’s worth a try.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Half-Hearted Connections

“You don’t deserve a half-hearted love. You don’t deserve someone who can only promise you pieces and not the whole. You don’t deserve someone who’s walking around investing time in other some ones. You don’t deserve a person who can’t commit.” Marisa Donnelly

Have you ever fallen for an emotionally-unavailable man? Have you ever wondered why you’re on a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs and you don’t know if you’re coming or going? If you’re caught up in a never-ending cycle of being taken for a ride, it’s time to get off.

An emotionally unavailable man is typically defined as, “not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of man will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.”

The problem is even though these men are not available, it doesn’t stop them from being out there on the dating scene. They don’t want long-term but pretend that they do. They send out mixed signals and at times it seems like they want “forever” but it is more in their mind than anything else. The message they deliver is a confusing one and just when you think that you’ve found the one, they’ll show you different in a not so nice way. They’re there one minute, ghost you the next or worse still take up with someone else right before your very eyes. This is a relationship where you’re the non-entity and it is all about them.

How do you know if they’re emotionally unavailable? Here are some signs according to Victoria Miretti.

They cannot say they are looking for a long term committed relaitonship.

They don’t court you.

They struggle to have emotional or in depth conversations.

Their words and actions don’t match.

They are inconsistent.

You don’t experience a steady upward progression in the relationship.

I had the unfortunate experience of meeting one such person. He walked in like a hurricane ready to sweep everything away in his path and I was just coming out of a storm. He had all the makings of “the guy.” The relationship if you can call it that took off like a whirlwind but each time we got close, he took 10 steps back. I noticed the hesitation and put it down to fear because I was feeling the same thing. The problem was I was willing to settle for crumbs knowing full well that they were crumbs because I was coming from a place of lack myself. Having just lost a special someone, I was looking for a relationship. It was a perfect meeting of the minds. The only problem, it wasn’t enough and I knew what a good relationship should look like. This one was sorely lacking but I put up with the charade.

“Life is too short for half-hearted connections and meaningless run-throughs.” Unknown

Low-effort men do not invest in you because they can’t. They find it easy to walk away and take up with someone new in a matter of days or more specifically even before the relationship has ended because their emotions don’t run very deep and hurting someone is part and parcel of how they operate. It is a place where nothing affects them because their heart is under lock and key. A no man’s land or rather a no woman’s land as far as they are concerned. So why even be out there? I guess everyone needs love and if you hurt someone along the way what’s the big deal, right? The problem is, it is a big deal to the person who gets hurt in the process.

“Never put them first, if you always come last. Never give your all, if you only get half.” Unknown

If you’ve read my article, “Dating No-Gooders,” you’ll know that they are out there along with all the others that give “dating” a bad name. One false move will get you to where you don’t want to be. If you’re looking for Mr. Right, know that it is a dangerous world out there so step lightly. If he’s unavailable and shows the signs from the get go, leave him alone and move on. Some people cannot love you the way you want to be loved AND you’re too valuable to settle for anything less or for half-hearted connections.

How do you know if he’s emotionally available? According to singleover30.net, here are some signs to look out for.

If a man is present with you when he is with you, that’s a good sign.

This is not always true from my experience. The person I knew was all there when we spent time together and gave me the impression that he wasn’t shying away from anything but he was emotionally unavailable and hence the confusion.

He is comfortable talking about his feelings.

He is willing to talk about the progression of the relationship.

He won’t waste your time with half-hearted promises.

He will be interested in you and your life.

He prioritizes spending time with you.

Therapist: You saw the red flags though, right?

Me: I thought it was a carnival.

That says it all.

Have an amazing day.

Heart Break

“Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don’t.” Stephen King

Standing before me, he looked tall and lean, his face showing concern and looking a little older, the grey showing at his temples as he said, “You’ve got to learn to forgive. Sometimes bad things happen and YOU just need to forgive, forget and move on.”

I watched him, my face showing nothing. This was the man who had once meant the world to me. He had never once apologized for his hand in the heart break he had caused me. The damage was done and he had simply walked away like I was yesterday’s news.

There are no more tears to cry, no more gut-wrenching pain and no more feelings of any kind. I was done and his empty words held just that, NOTHING of any kind. He moved towards me but I took a step back. A long time ago, I had run into his arms so willingly but that was back then when we were in love and the world was a much better place.

We are two strangers now. Our history together a thing of the past, the love we had shared written somewhere in the stars for all eternity and the heart he had so carelessly and so willingly broken had learned to heal but it will never forget the crumbling, the breaking and the realization that this same man I had once loved was capable of wielding such pain.

Love hurts and heart break is painful. Hearts break all the time, it is nothing new. “I’m sorry” sometimes takes a long time coming and in some cases it never does. However, those words don’t have the power to erase the pain and neither do they take away the hurt you carry in your heart. Perhaps, the words are just a defense mechanism men use to shield themselves from their wrong doing and to walk away with their guilty conscience intact. Whatever the case maybe, sorry doesn’t cut it. It is so lacking in every aspect but I don’t know what else can make up for it.

We stood watching each other, his eyes hiding secrets and mine devoid of feeling. It was awkward to say the least. Yet my heart screamed, “You know him well don’t you? You had loved him with all of your heart once a long time ago.”

The truth is he had loved me too. He had called me his soulmate and the love of his life but somewhere along the way, he became someone else. When that someone new walked in, he took off running and left me holding a bag of broken dreams and a shattered heart broken beyond repair.

Today, there are no more tears, no anger, no despair, no nothing. I watched as he walked out the door and as I closed the door behind me, I realized that the heartbreak had changed me. I had grown stronger. I had learned to put my broken heart back together again piece by piece. The cracks still show but I guess they always will as a reminder of the pain I had gone through. Forgiveness? It will take a long time coming. I hope one day I can say the words he wants to hear. “I forgive you.” Not yet, it is going to take time and that is alright too.

“People think that the most painful thing in life is losing the one you value.

The truth is, the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of valuing someone too much and forgetting that you are special too.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

SUNDAYS

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I woke up early this morning not of my own free will but because Chachi, the cat, wasn’t having it any other way. He had places to go and the “human” had no choice in the matter but to follow.

Dragging myself out of the thick and comfy blankets I was under was really hard. Looking at him with blurry, sleep-filled eyes I noticed he was sitting on the bedside table, his cute face puffed up and his tail thumping. It was a look of impatience and I have seen that look many times before. At times, I think he’s too spoiled for his own good but at other times I embrace it with my whole being. He’s my buddy, my shadow, a mini “me” in a fur coat and my rock when times get tough. Sometimes I think he knows all of this and more hence his power to wield and demand as he sees fit!

A sudden high-shrilled meow pierces the air and it sounds just like mommy! “C’mon mom, let’s move it!” he says as he moves to the door with a backward glance in my direction. Slipping my feet into fur-lined slippers, I move as he wants me to but very very slowly. My day is having a hard time catching up with me.

Once the door is opened, I head to the bathroom but Mr. Impatient lets out a huge sigh and a muffled whatever it means in cat language and waits outside the door giving me this, “God Almighty, can we MOVE it please!” look. There are no snuggles and wet kisses this morning. He’s about himself and what he wants but come to think of it, it is that way most days. I am learning that there is no teaching a cat, just when you think you’ve got them trained, they’ll turn around and show you how wrong you are. It must be all that cuteness that comes in a fur package and those large adoring eyes. He’s got me whipped!

After what seems like minutes to me and I’m sure “hours” to Mr. Impatient, we head down the stairs. He takes off like a bullet and heads to his window seat in the kitchen and peers curiously out the window. It is still dark and there is a strong wind blowing which is sending the last of the leaves hurtling to the ground and it has Chachi’s full attention. That’s what I call, “Action TV!” he says and plops down on the cushion and goes into a trance-like state forgetting the “human” standing behind him. All is right in his world for now.

I head on back upstairs with a hot, steaming cup of coffee and breakfast in hand. Sundays are for relaxing so I turn on the TV, get comfortable in bed and ready to find out what is going on in the world. The news today seems to be full of President Elect Trump and his new cabinet in the making. The names and faces are familiar and there seems to be a common element in all of his picks. Either they are criminals waiting to be charged or they have no experience or qualifications for the positions they are being picked for. All fine and good because Trump has none either so that works perfectly fine. So did I mention that the common link is their loyalty and almost child-like adoration of the man in question? Didn’t Hitler have the same kind of adoration? Just saying.

Moving on….

Just then, Chachi walks back into the room and looks at me with confusion as if to say, “Where did you go?” Sundays are for relaxation BUT mine begins and ends with my little love, Chachi. Time to shake it up a little? I’m still waiting for Mr. Right to walk in but he’s taking all the wrong turns so it will be a while yet before he shows up. Until then, the little furball has my full attention.

“Sunday is a good day to save the world in one’s pyjamas.” Adrienne Posey

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

Nature, “My Other Love.”

“Nature has been for me, for as long as I remember, a source of solace, inspiration, adventure, and delight; a home, a teacher, a companion.” Lorraine Anderson

The rain had stopped but there were reminders left behind as I stepped over mud-covered pathways and navigated around small puddles of water. I had a sudden urge to jump in them as I used to as a young girl but I had to stop myself as I am a grown woman now and such antics would not be looked upon kindly. It was cold this morning but that’s nothing new. Winter was marching in and little by little the wide open expanse before me is being transformed into a bare and desolate landscape ready to go to sleep before the biting cold sets in.

Today, I am greeted by loud squawking. Birds were flying overhead zooming in and out haphazardly. Watching them I noticed that they weren’t heading anywhere in particular but just flying around with no formation whatsoever to speak of. Were they heading south? Each year, it is a ritual for the migratory birds to fly out of here before the cold sets in. It is a display of precision, of single-mindedness and of loud shrills and squawking as they made their presence known to those of us below who watched them mesmerized as they flew out of here and to places unknown. It was also a sign that nature was getting ready to take a well-deserved break from the breathtaking display of color to one of drab and grey. Today I was alone as I watched the birds fly and then settle in the trees nearby. Perhaps they were taking a break from their journey to recuperate before they took off again. Whatever the reason, I welcomed their company with a big smile on my face.

Approaching the apple trees, a sudden movement catches my attention. Two beautiful bob-tailed deer dash out from the forest line and across my path and onto the other side disappearing into a clump of bushes. Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen any deer in a long time so this was interesting. The fields were certainly alive this morning. Perhaps the birds had stirred some life into them. As I approached the path where I had almost twisted my ankle the other day staring at some birds in the distance, I heard flapping and shrill cries in the sky. Just ahead and not too high up in the sky were six birds, their wings spread out like fans as they descended a little distance from me and landed quietly on the ground and then stood there as still as sentinels standing guard over nothing in particular. My breath caught in my throat. I had seen them twice before and not recognizing them, I had done some research and found out that they are grey herons. Slim, elegant creatures with long beaks and dark circles around their eyes. They are beautiful in a silent and regal way. I didn’t expect to see them today but there they were standing still and ignoring me.

In Greek mythology, the heron is associated with Poseidon and is seen as a good omen. Native American Tribes see the heron as a symbol of patience and good luck and in Celtic mythology, it is associated with transitions and adaptability and if that’s not enough to get your “happy hormones” in a spin, herons often appear to those seeking healing, calmness and stillness in their life. When you experience repeated heron sightings, it is there to remind you of the contentment that comes with knowing abundance is at your fingertips. All good right? I’ve seen them three times so it’s a wait and see approach now!

I decided to check out the deer and the birds as well. Something was up and me being the superstitious type, well not quite, but I do believe in some stuff so I was curious and needed to know if there was anything attached to these sightings. Remember what they say about black cats crossing your path? However, deer crossing your path is supposed to have an opposite effect. If you see a deer crossing your path, it is seen as a positive omen. It means that you will soon receive good news or fortune. WHAT?!! Let’s add birds to the mix why don’t we? Birds flying above you is a positive sign and it means that something massive is about to happen in your life and change the whole trajectory in the best way imaginable.

Hell, I’ll go jump in those puddles of dirty, muddy water, who cares what anyone thinks? Is nature getting ready to reward me? I don’t know but I have to get quiet, find a space to meditate and hope one or the other thing happens. Fingers crossed and I’ll keep you posted.

Have an amazing day.

The “Me” Concept

Who am I? Sounds simple enough but this is a hard one to answer. It encompasses all of you, the big picture so to speak. Who you are, what you stand for, what shaped you and the experiences that have made you, the “YOU” of today are all part and parcel of this concept. Understanding yourself is vital to how you interact with the world around you. There is only one YOU, and your identity is unique, It is made up of your values, your beliefs, your relationships and your experiences and that in a nutshell is who you are as a person.

However, interacting with the world around you is not always an easy thing to do. It is much bigger than you are and sometimes downright scary. Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter and might even help with where you are in the grand scheme of things as far as your world is concerned.

“Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” Unknown

One step at a time if you want to get somewhere and looking at that whole journey might just be a tad too overwhelming to say the least. Do it slowly and carefully and you’ll get there when the time is right.

“Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” Unknown

Absolutely worth taking a note of. How often do we hang around people who make us feel less than we are? It is time to clean house and start afresh with people worthy of your company.

“The problem isn’t that your friends aren’t showing up for you…

The problem is that you’re still calling them friends.” Unknown

“You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Choose carefully” Unknown

How true? Choose your friends carefully and the rest will fall into place.

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story,

LEAVE.” Mo Willems

If something is not working and it becomes a struggle, change your strategy. You are not stuck where you are, there is always a way out to start anew.

“She wanted something else, something different, something more, passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.” Nicholas Sparks

There you have it. Stop being the option and start being the priority. Stop choosing people who do not choose you.

Understand this….

“You can sound confident and have anxiety. You can look healthy but feel like shit. You can look happy and be miserable inside. You can be good looking and feel ugly. So be kind, because every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown

Just be kind.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

This actually speaks to the whole concept of who you are. What you do eventually becomes your character. Choose wisely and do the right thing.

“Learn to be done with people, not mad, not bothered but just done.” Unknown

This is hard for someone like me. It takes a lot to say I am done but I am learning. Sometimes it is a matter of survival the choices you make. Choose wisely.

“In the end, she became more than what she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going.” Unknown

This last one is poignant. I am on a journey of self-discovery and self-development and in so doing I am learning to give up what does not serve me, to change directions and to move towards what does. Not always easy I know but this is where self-awareness and self-worth comes in to guide you and to make it just a little less scarier than it is.

Have an amazing day.

Know Your Self Worth

“Recognize your own worth and you won’t be drawn to those who don’t see it.” Doe Zantamata

According to medium.com, “Your value is directly linked to your belief. If you treat yourself like garbage, you’ll never appreciate your potential.”

It’s interesting how many of us walk into relationships expecting the other person to validate us in some way. We look to them to make us feel wanted, to feel loved, to feel that we are worthy and to make us feel special. Basically we hand over our power and energy to that person and wait to get reimbursed. When it doesn’t happen, we find ourselves in a dark place and beat ourselves down to a pulp.

The truth is, self-worth is your sense of self, your values and your belief that you are worthy of care, support and compassion. It basically means you value yourself enough to know the boundaries and limits and what you’ll accept and what you won’t. It is that feeling within you that says you are worthy and deserving of the right kind of love and that there is a balance in the relationship. If you’ve been doing the chasing and you’re the only one investing in the relationship with your time, energy and efforts and you are not getting or getting next to nothing in return, then it’s time to reevaluate and to take a good hard look at your self-worth. How much is it worth?

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor

If your self-worth is lacking, here are some strategies to improve it from the people in the know. (verywellmind.com)

Do things you enjoy and are good at:

These help to reinforce your strengths and abilities and can make you more confident.

Exercise and challenge yourself:

Physical activity is linked to a greater sense of self-worth. It also helps to recalibrate your mindset and offers both physical and mental benefits.

Challenge negative thoughts:

Thoughts are not facts. Next time you have a negative self-thought, think of an alternative realistic thought to replace it.

Be kind to yourself.

Learn to be assertive.

Start saying “no!” I have to learn this one myself.

Focus on the positive.

It is important to have a healthy sense of self-worth because loving, respecting and valuing yourself starts with you. It is the first step towards gaining the same from others.

“Once you discover your true worth, walking away from where you are not valued will become the easiest hard thing you will ever do.” Unknown

If they don’t see you as valuable then don’t try to convince them. Remember the only person you need validation from is you. You are enough as you are, you are worthy, you deserve respect, your well-being matters and so does your emotional health. Work on your self-worth and you’ll start attracting the right kind of people, the kind who will respect your worth.

“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.” Unknown

AND

“Know your worth and then make sure to add tax.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Building Confidence

“Confidence is not “They will like me,” confidence is I will be fine if they don’t.” Christina Grimmie

You are not born with confidence, it is a process that gets stronger with time and it is also something that is learned and developed over time. However, it is not easy to build confidence especially if the environment you’re in or the challenges you face is working against you.

It’s a skill set which combines the thoughts we think and the actions we take and in order for it to work to your advantage, you have to believe in yourself and your abilities. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, then it goes without saying that your confidence and self-esteem will take a hit.

If you want to develop confidence, you first have to believe in yourself. Then you have to accept yourself as you are, this includes the good, the bad and the ugly parts. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and get comfortable with both. Now, improve on what you can improve. However, set realistic goals, ones that you can work towards achieving which in turn will boost your confidence.

One important aspect is to surround yourself with positive and supportive people because negative ones will drain your energy and drive you further down that rabbit hole.

“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” Helen Keller

An interesting quote and one that speaks to the heart of the matter. I think it’s 90% how you come across and 10% of the other stuff. If you can fake it by standing up tall, looking people in the eye and making an entrance like, “God sent you!” that’s more than half the battle won right there. Of course, there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. The latter is an overinflated sense of self-importance and “confidence” a healthy belief in yourself. Arrogance leads to outcomes you don’t want especially if you’re trying to build your confidence.

Start by loving yourself flaws and all. So what if you’re not perfect, most of us aren’t. Perfection isn’t everything but building on what you already possess is. A long time ago, I walked into a hall and I saw this stunning girl. She was pure perfection from the top of her head to the very soles of her feet. As I watched her, I realized that she was sorely lacking in one human trait. The smile was missing from her face and she was pure “arrogance” in a stunning package which took away from her attractiveness. So if you’re thinking the “attractive people” have it made, it is not necessarily the truth.

“Every time you catch yourself criticizing yourself, think of something you love about yourself.” Unknown

Confidence is necessary to achieve success. Confident people take risks and push themselves to achieve their goals. Here’s the thing, the more confident you are, the more likely you’re able to attract positive experiences which in turn makes your world a better place. More importantly, confidence helps you to handle failure better because you know that it is an opportunity to learn and grow and not something that is going to destroy your life.

“It’s OKAY”

To make mistakes.

To have bad days.

To be less than perfect.

To do what’s best for you.

To be yourself.

Finally, work that confidence! The more you practice and use it, the stronger it gets and smile while you’re doing it!

“Inhale confidence, exhale doubt.” Alex Toussaint

AND

“Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do. and at some point, you will.” Venus Williams

Have an amazing day

The Journey

I’ve talked about my journey many times before. It is a journey designed to get me somewhere. Where do I want to go? I want to get to the top of that mountain. I want to say that I made it there leaving all the things that did not serve me behind and I want to feel the freedom of knowing that the “journey” was worthwhile and I can finally breathe again.

“Over time, I have come to believe that “brave” does not mean what we think it does. It does not mean “being afraid” and doing it anyway. Nope. Brave means listening to the still small voice inside and doing as it says. Regardless of what the rest of the world is saying.” Glennon Doyle

I still have a long ways to go but then again easy doesn’t cut it. It takes soul-searching, giving up what holds me back, knowing what I want and the courage to move forward not knowing what that path forward holds. The unknown is always scary but what if there is a “better” than where I am now? A better life, a better existence and perhaps even a better love. I am looking for that needle in the haystack but he is well-hidden and if he is there staring me in the face, I don’t see him yet.

Recently, I shared with a friend that I’m on the verge of giving up as far as that special someone is concerned. I told him I am tired of making treks in the wrong direction and that perhaps love is not in the cards for me. Perhaps, I should just say enough already and give up altogether.

He listened quietly as I vented and then said, “In German there is a saying, you find happiness when you least expect it.” It was profound, perhaps even holding a modicum of truth and coming from a guy wearing a bandana, it made me sit up and take notice. Not that I have anything against bandana-wearing men, I just didn’t expect this kind of deep thinking from him. He’s the rugged outdoorsy type but obviously has a soft core which he keeps well-hidden not visible to the naked eye. That said, nope he is not my guy. Anyway, the light went back on. I realized that I had met my ex when I wasn’t looking. It was my first night out after a long while of mourning over a break up and there he was. Our paths crossed and unknown to us both, the wheels had been set in motion and there was no stopping the path we were on. Perhaps, the inevitable happens when you least expect it and when the time is right.

If that is true, could we make it just a tad easier please? And if it does happen let’s make it forever this time around.

“Breathe through it and release anything that does not serve you.” Unknown

I’m no stranger to breathing. I do all kinds of different breathing techniques, I don’t believe in leaving it to chance so why not try everything there is to try and I might just hit the right one, the breathing technique that is, at some point in time. I’m also hoping that my intuition will take over and point me in the right direction but then fear, my best friend, comes in and blows it all to pieces. This journey has not been easy and making the wrong move from time to time always brings me back to square one. The message is clear, move slowly, one foot in front of the other. Patience is a virtue but not in my case. I’m like a petulant child who stomps her feet and demands that she gets it NOW! Life is not putting up with my temper tantrums so here I am again wondering where I went wrong this last time? I have to learn to bide my time, move with caution for the way forward is not easy to navigate and one false move and I am back to where I started from and I don’t want that.

“I was lucky enough to have been to rock bottom before, right? So I know for a fact, that rock bottom is always the beginning of the newness. It hurts and its painful, and then there’s the waiting……where you don’t know what the hell is going on and you don’t think any of it is going to make sense and then,

THERE’S THE RISING.”

I am waiting to exhale. I am waiting for “the rising” when all is made new again and I am given another chance at life, at love, at living and finally breathing freely again. I am looking forward to saying, “It was tough but I made it!”

-Say the thing you must say.

-Go where you must go.

-Learn what you must leave.

-Do what you must do.

-Trust yourself.

When They Say:

You seem out of control…..

You Say:

Thank you. That’s the plan.

For the rest of my life.

Glennon Doyle

Have an amazing day.

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JUST BREATHE!

It’s Sunday, a day for rest and relaxation or at least it’s supposed to be. I wanted to sleep in but Chachi, the cat, had other plans. In a cat’s world there is no such thing as a Sunday I suppose so it was time to get up and get going! Where to? Nowhere special, he wanted to go downstairs to his window seat to watch his world come alive and so I must follow whether I want to or not! He’s got me trained and I thought I was doing such a great job raising him.

The weather is drizzly, cold and damp. Nothing to brag about and no walking out in the fields either. I need to keep the “monkey” which I call my brain in check so here I am back to writing to get my mind to settle down.

We never give it much thought but breathing is a powerhouse. It does so much to keep us in check, to help us relax and to see things with a clearer vision. My plan for today is to keep breathing, not the in and out variety which we do unthinkingly but the kind that helps me to relax. I am going to try some deep breathing combined with meditation to see where it takes me. Here are some quotes on breathing to bring the focus back to where you need to be if life has you scrambling to survive whatever it is that has got you that way.

“Deep breaths are like little love notes to yourself.” Unknown

“You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner….so relax, breathe, and be patient.” Mandy Hale

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens.” Mandy Hale

“Stay positive, even when it feels like your whole world is falling apart.” Unknown

Breathe in deeply to bring your mind home to your body.” Thich Nhat Hanh

I like this one because it speaks directly to my state of mind. Sometimes my mind and body are out of sync and I have to bring my mind back to where my body is. Not always easy but breathing takes me there but not for long!

BREATHE

“You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too.” Unknown”

Breathe darling

“This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. C. Lourie

It’s okay if you’re feeling lazy and the only thing you want to do today is to breathe. It’s Sunday, it’s time to relax and to gather strength for the week ahead. Breathe and let go, you’ll be just fine.

And Remember:

“No matter what happens, you can handle it, and you will be okay.” Lori Deschene

Have an amazing Sunday!