When my body and mind tell me that it is time to let it all go, that’s when I know that it’s time to unplug and relax. Sometimes it’s a subtle nudge but at other times it is a loud scream.
Unplugging means diving into meditation, staring into space with no thought in mind or just watching something on TV. I love comedies so I look for those and with a nice cup of tea in hand, it’s my go to method for unwinding. Sometimes I listen to Katie Melua or Norah Jones, two beautiful voices that have the ability to whisk you away and keep you there for a while. Add sitting outside in the garden and it is paradise in the making.
It doesn’t take much to unplug. Just a nice shower, I don’t like baths, getting into my comfy PJs, flips-flops on my feet and I’m ready to go. Add some dreamy music, the sounds of the garden all around me, the blue skies above and it happens without me pushing any buttons. Oh, the scent of roses in all their glory is a plus and right now, they are blooming everywhere I look!
Daily writing prompt
How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?
The Duchess of Sussex shared this quote in an interview and how right she is.
How many times have we questioned if we are really enough? How many times have we said if only I was thinner, prettier, more popular, had more friends than life would be better, simpler and I would be enough. More times than you can count on your fingers right? I know I have.
I think to be enough you have to start by loving yourself first. It is not about what society expects of you, the impossible goals it puts out there so that achieving some of them takes us to never never land and leaves us wanting but never quite attaining what is the norm or considered the norm in today’s society of much ado about nothing.
Beyonce said:
“Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.”
I will add, love yourself first and you’re halfway there. Look in the mirror and give yourself a big hug and say, “I love you warts and all!” Yes warts because we do carry those unseen warts around with us. Just the other day someone said to me, “You are your worst critic.” He is right but more appropriately I am my own worst enemy. When I look into that mirror first thing in the morning, I see all that is wrong and those warts, those invisible ones take shape and have the power to obliterate if I allow them. These days, I see someone genuine with potential staring back at me. I smile, give myself a hug and go on my way.
So many of us go through life carrying the burden of I don’t measure up. It is easy to do in this world of ours where perfection and beauty are key buzzwords and measuring up is an uphill task. However, these are just two words. Honesty, integrity, dependability, good-heartedness, helpfulness and so on are all words that carry so much worth that they have the power to blow those two other words, beauty and perfection to kingdom come! Look at you, the real you and you will know that you my friend are enough as you are.
Someone close to me said, “I don’t know if I can make it.” Despair, frustration and a fear of the future are the monsters he will have to slay. He’s at a standstill but this is nothing new. I’ve been there and so have you when the day seems unfathomable and all you want to do is turn out the light, shut out the world and go within yourself and stay there for awhile.
“Today I feel like putting on the “OUT OF ORDER” sticker on my head and going back to bed.” Unknown
However, the trick is in knowing when to crawl out of bed, remove that sign and take life by its reins and to say, “I am enough as I am. You won’t defeat me!”
You are capable, you have the power within you to achieve the impossible and you my friend are stronger than you think!
YOU ARE ENOUGH!
“My mission should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.” Anais Nin
A good question because I’ve asked myself that same question many times over. I tend to be a stickler for rules so being my friend is hard because those expectations I have of how a friend should be is sometimes a barrier to true friendship. However, I don’t ask for more than I am willing to give.
As I friend, I am loyal, trustworthy, there when you need me and if help is needed I am ready and willing to do whatever is necessary but sometimes that willingness opens up the door to someone taking advantage of you. It has happened and some of those people are no longer in my life.
“Some people will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great people you can count on. We rarely lose friends, we just gradually figure out who our real ones are.” Darren John Maxwell
I had posted something the other day. In the article I made reference to something I was dealing with. The phone rang and there he was, someone who was close to me because at one time we were more than friends. Anyway, he asked, “What is going on?”
ME: “How did you know?”
HIM: “I read your post and I know you better than most people.”
So I told him and it was a good talk. I was thankful for the caring he showed and that folks is what friends are about. They show up when you least expect them to. Showing up is one very important aspect of friendship along with all the other things I mentioned.
“Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there.” Christy Evans
Photo by Susanne Jutzeler, suju-foto on Pexels.com
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess’s lap and said, “Elegant lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: “I don’t @&%x think so!”
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
During a first date a man and a woman were telling each other about their pasts. The man said, “A genie once gave me the option of becoming more attractive to women, or having an exceptional memory.”
I’ve been very conservative about moving from job to job. If I liked a job, I would stay with it and I’ve been lucky enough to say that the jobs I’ve held have kept me there for a long time.
Writing has always been a first love but I didn’t get to concentrate on it fully until at a later stage in my life. Sure, I got articles published at an early age but a job it wasn’t. Just something I dabbled in because I loved writing and getting the word out.
I was in management at the university, both working and studying at the same time. It was tough but it wasn’t really what I wanted to do. However, I bit my lip and held on just long enough until I finished, met my ex and we moved to Europe. Still writing was sporadic to say the least. I published a lot of articles, wrote for magazines and kept my political side alive by writing online articles rubbing shoulders with the best of them. It wasn’t my dream job.
A few years later, I landed the job of Fashion Editor. It wasn’t exactly my cup of tea either. Basically I was involved with the celebrity world, what they wore, what they did and what was going on in their lives. Add the supermodels to it and I was right in the middle of what was happening. Still, I was getting tired of designers and the celebrity BS! After a few years of doing that, I got the opportunity to leave that world behind and to go it alone. Now, I write what I want, when I want and my time is mine alone. It’s a good place to be in and writing, well it is still my first and last love. I will always write and I’m hoping my book will be out later this year. Keeping fingers and toes crossed!
“Sometimes you need someone to be there for you. Not to fix the problem or offer advice or do anything in particular, but simply to be there. To show up. To be present with what you’re feeling. To see what you’re going through. To see you, understand you.” Unknown
Can men and women just be friends? This is the question that popped up, “When Harry Met Sally,” and sent some of us scrambling for answers. The answer as far as I’m concerned is that it is next to impossible in most cases.
I used to be the proverbial tomboy in my younger days and as such I had some wonderful friendships with the boys I hung out with. It was nothing sexual but of the innocent variety. I had my pigtails tucked under my cap and my ensemble of shorts and t-shirt had seen better days but I was for all purposes one of the boys.
It all changed when I turned sixteen. I got asked out on my first date. He was cute and I accepted. It was also the first time that I had worn my long hair down leaving it brushed and shiny and I wore a dress for the very first time! Lo and behold, things changed after that. I was no longer “one of the boys” but someone they wanted to dance with and spend time with. However, this friendship thing was still there. I learned that boys and later men make very good friends. There is none of the bitchiness, envy or jealousy, it was just straightforward, “I’m your friend,” stuff and all that it entails.
Later during my university days “friendship” with young men was still going strong. I had lots of men friends and although some were happy to be just a friend, others wanted more and that became complicated and made things difficult.
Now, I’m finding out that men are not as simple as they seem. There is a thing called, “friends with benefits,” and it is not my thing and never has been. I’m seeking the pure friendship variety like I used to know when life was simple and innocence was front and center. The problem is no matter how hard I try to make it clear right from the start it never fails before it starts heading in an unwanted direction. Not too long ago, I had this conversation with a male friend. We’ve known each other for quite some time and we’ve done walks, lunches and dinners but nothing more. Well, just a hug or a peck on the cheek as friends do. Here’s how the conversation went.
Me: Wouldn’t it be nice to have a Pyjama Party? We can watch some movies and just talk?
Him: I would like some snacks.
Me: Sure, I can get that.
I was thinking this is going great. Just some company with no hassles whatsoever!
Him: I don’t think I can do that!
Me: Why not?
Him: I CAN’T!”
Hmm…does everything have to be sexual? He was honest and that was a good thing but I wanted my good old days back and the reality is, those days have flown the coop!
Let me ask you:
“Can men and women ever just be friends?”
“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” Ed Cunningham
“Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.” Dorothy M. Neddermeyer
Caring less about things maybe the easiest way to acquire happiness but how many of us do that? How often do we obsess about things we cannot change? More times than I can remember. How often do we let someone trigger something in us and we carry it around for days mulling over every word and detail to the point that nothing else matters but that one little problem but only by this time, it isn’t a small problem anymore but had morphed and become unsolvable! How many times have we let someone bring us down just because something hurtful was said and we take it to heart, handle it like a precious thing and let our self-esteem go to pieces? More times than I can count on my fingers.
Here’s the thing:
“The less you give a damn the happier you will be.” Unknown
Something happened yesterday and I took what was handed to me, went to my corner as I usually do and let it do a number on me! Happiness was nowhere to be seen and my piece of mind was in shambles at my feet. Even then, I refused to let go. I was like a dog with a bone until I stopped and decided to let go of what I was holding within and told myself that there was nothing I could do about the situation. No amount of anger, sadness and wishing, yes wishing was going to change it for the better. I took a deep breath and let it go….
“Stop asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.” Unknown
That’s the problem isn’t it? We keep allowing things to happen and to hold us in its grasp. If only we could take away the power from the problem at hand and learn to look at it with detachment versus with both feet smack dap in the middle! Learning to care less takes practice especially if you’re the type who cares too much about anything and everything.
LET IT GO……and learn to relax. Problems do have a way of righting themselves out and sometimes with very little help from you. Give it some time, give it some space but most of all, don’t hug it close to your heart. Learn to care less and you’ll be less stressed at and with life. This doesn’t mean being a less caring person it just means picking your battles carefully and when you do, be prepared to look at them with less emotion. Step back and go to work but not with guns blazing! I have to remind myself of this too.
ONE DAY IT JUST CLICKS
“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what others think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover and you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.”
My early days as a young girl was all about religion. I couldn’t get away from it even if I had wanted to! Dad was a Bible-toting believer and mom was right behind him getting us in line to do as we were told and the uncle was head of the churches. I really didn’t have a choice.
It meant evenings of Bible study with all of us gathered in the living room listening to dad drone on about some verse he had painstakingly picked out. Then followed gratitude. I learned this one early, there was no escaping it! Each one of us would have to say what we were grateful for and SOME of us had a long long list! Most kids my age were watching TV or relaxing but that wasn’t our way.
I remember when I was 18 I had to teach Bible study and Sunday school. Not that I wanted to but it was a must as far as my parents were concerned. I did do that like an obedient girl but inside I was ready to throw the mantel off and take off to less familiar places. University gave me a reprieve. I became my own person and I had a chance to really figure out what I wanted in life. Religion was still a big part of my life and learning to live the way my parents had taught me was never far away. It still is even after all these years. I guess once it is instilled in you, it never leaves. Not a bad thing really but it was a tough upbringing.
I am learning to let my son decide for himself as to religion and his beliefs. Unfortunately, he is choosing to go a whole different direction! God is the last thing on his mind but perhaps that is normal for young people these days.
Yes, I practice religion but not in the way I was told to do so. I believe there is a higher power and I do turn to prayer when times get tough. I don’t go to church as often as I used to but that is okay. I can talk to god anywhere and whenever I want to. Oh, and I don’t read the Bible as I used to either but I don’t need to because some of those scripture versus are still ingrained in my mind!
It is defined as “insulting someone or displaying rude behavior by showing a lack of respect.”
Have you experienced it? I have and it is not a nice thing when faced with such behavior. There are three forms of disrespect. These are known as the passive, subtle and the blatant variety.
Passive disrespect is when someone is condescending, makes insulting insinuations, gives you the silent treatment, is sarcastic and doesn’t care if it is hurtful or not. How do you deal with this kind of disrespect?
Don’t take the bait and address the issue immediately.
Subtle disrespect is when someone mocks you, when they talk behind your back and they will pretend to have forgotten things you agreed on.
Show that it doesn’t affect you or decide if you want to engage. Name the disrespectful behavior you have observed and call them out on it. Have a conversation about it but do not lecture.
Blatant disrespect is the no holds barred variety. They go out of their way to deliberately undermine or demean you. Their actions are obvious and they don’t give a hoot if it hurts you.
Here again stay calm but it is hard to do. Use “I” statements when addressing the issue and ask for clarification. You can react with kindness but since that is almost impossible to do, call the person out on his or her behavior and set boundaries as to what you will or won’t tolerate.
If all else fails, you have the option of walking away and closing the door behind you. No one should put up with disrespect. Disrespect basically says, “You are not important and your feelings don’t matter to me.” The truth is, you are important and your feelings do matter. Do not tolerate disrespect of any kind.
Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:
“The best way to end disrespect is by not giving them a chance to do it again.” Unknown
“Disrespect is the weapon of the weak.” Alice Miller
“Wasting somebody’s time may be the highest form of disrespect.” Unknown
I like the next one a lot.
“Never let your heart be so forgiving that it gets comfortable with disrespect.” Unknown
“Don’t put up with disrespect just to keep them in your life.” Sonya Parker
“Be careful what you tolerate, you are teaching people how to treat you.” Unknown
Honestly, I don’t recall a time before the internet! It seems like it has been there forever and ever, AMEN!
I do know that life without it would be unbearable for someone like me because I use it a lot to get the information I need. However, the problem I have with the internet is something else. Just when I think I’ve got it down pat as to how everything works, they, the tech Gods, go and change it on me! I am not tech savvy so I find this to be a big problem. However, I’ve been keeping up with the changes as they come and when once I would have run to the friend who passed away for help, I am finding that I am fully capable of doing things on my own now.
No, I can’t remember a time without the internet at my beck and call. I do recall several times when my internet and telephone company were doing some work on the lines and I was without “internet” and phone connections for a few days and it drove me up the wall! When it came back, I was ready to embrace it “tech Gods” and all!
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