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Love Lessons

Love as we know has many facets. It is not a one size fits all kind of thing. There is the love between a parent and child, there is the love between a pet and its owner, there is the love of material things but nothing is as powerful as the love that shows up and turns your world on its head and you don’t know if you’re coming or going. It is the kind of love that comes and touches your heart, sends your blood pumping and you are left wondering what happened?

However, this love between a man and woman has its ups and downs. Sometimes it goes smoothly and sometimes when you least expect it, you get the rug pulled out from under your feet. There is the kind that shows up and you are head over heels and the kind that doesn’t get the same response from the other person. There is the kind that takes you for a ride, the kind that breaks your heart into a thousand pieces and hurt becomes a part of loving. There is the kind that loves to play games and the kind that doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings. It is all part and parcel of this thing called love. If you are lucky, you find someone who looks at you and you’re IT and then there is the kind that does circles around you and keeps you guessing.

Different kinds of love but it has one thing in common. Love is powerful and it has the ability to turn an ordinary person into someone extraordinary or leaves you gasping for air. Love lessons they are aplenty and since I’m in this, “What is love really about?” mood, here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.

“Some people teach you what love feels like. Others teach you what love is not. Both shape how you protect your heart.” Unknown

Been there, done that and there is truth in that quote.

“I don’t walk away to teach people a lesson, I walk away because I learned mine.” Unknown

Done this one too. Believe me, the walking away gets easier as time goes along.

Spend your time on those who LOVE you unconditionally. Don’t waste it on those who only love you when the conditions are right for them.” Unknown

Listen carefully to this one. When you are not the priority, leave! No point hanging around.

“Not all love lasts, but the lessons love brings to us do.” Mandy Hale

The absolute truth. Learn from the lessons and let go of the rest.

“Sometimes life sends us people who don’t love us enough, to remind us of what we’re worthy of.” Mandy Hale

This is painful but it is a lesson that has to be learned. You are worthy of real love and not the wishy washy kind. Pay attention to what is shown and take the right path. It is not going to be easy but worthiness comes from knowing who you are and what you will stand for. It demands courage as well to shut the door and to move on.

“Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.” Unknown

Quite often we do the chase or the dance or whatever name you give it but you know what I mean. Chasing love, affection, or attention quite often brings the opposite. Don’t chase, let it go and see what happens.

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” Nicole Reed

I think this one works on the same principle as karma does. Someone does something bad to you and if you believe in karma, I do, you know that at some point they will get their comeuppance. When? That’s the problem. There is no date or time given, just that it will take place at some point and you have to believe that it will. So when will good things start happening. Same thing. Wait for it and sooner or later it will happen. No fun? Yes, well, life moves to a different beat and all in good time because you have to learn before you reap the benefits, I suppose.

Enough about love? One last thing, love is many-faceted and it has its mysteries but one thing is for sure, WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!

Have an amazing day and I hope the right kind of love finds you.

The Awakening

This one is embarrassing. The best compliment I’ve ever received was when I was in my early 20s and it was given to me by a group of businessmen.

I was in Singapore at the time and in McDonalds meeting a girlfriend for lunch. Sitting behind us was a group of men in suits. They kept staring but I didn’t pay it much mind. After 20 minutes they got up and left. I was glad because they made me uneasy for some reason. A few minutes later they walked back in. There were about 10 of them altogether so I froze in mid-conversation. They walked to our table, one guy had a single rose in his hand and an envelope. He didn’t say a word as he handed me both, smiled, and they left. The place was eerily quiet as everyone glanced over at us.

I opened the envelope and there was a card in it. It said:

“To the most beautiful girl in Singapore.”

It also contained 30 dollars to pay for lunch I guess. Nothing else. No telephone number nothing. I never saw them again but that chance meeting has stayed in my memory because it literally blew my mind! I would get plenty more compliments as time went on but that one on a hot day in Singapore took the cake and has remained in my mind as one of the best compliments of all time!

I was a wild child in my teens running around barefoot in the forest and playing with the ducks and most days I was covered with mud from head to toe but I loved it. I blossomed when I was 16 and those things were put aside. I never thought of myself as a beauty but things changed. I went from being a tomboy to a quiet young woman. More introvert than anything else. That compliment was my awakening to a different world. Beauty is more than a buzz word, beauty is power in some cases. These days they still tell me I am attractive but I march to a different drumbeat. It is more about the inner beauty and not about the fading kind.

Daily writing prompt

What was the best compliment you’ve received?

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Nature’s Way

“To walk in nature is to witness a thousand miracles.” Mary Davis

Walking is my favorite thing to do. It helps to clear my mind, helps me to get a better perspective on life and it’s good for the mind and soul not to mention my body so what’s not to like?

It is almost springlike in my part of the world but we are not quite there yet and after the snow, ice and sleet of winter, blue skies and sunshine is a nice change. After having been cooped up for a week, it is time to take advantage of the nice weather.

Zipping up my light jacket with a scarf around my neck and stepping into my boots, I am all ready to head out the door. I am not expecting much, just a beautiful walk in nature. I wonder if I will see the deer I’ve seen on my last few walks. We made eye contact several times and then he took off and went back into the woods. I hope I do because there is something about coming face to face with one of nature’s own. It makes me feel like I belong too.

“Nature is the purest portal to inner-peace.” Angie Weiland Crosby

I am surrounded by blue-tipped mountains on one side and the sporadic green line of the forest on the other. Today, I find myself alone as I am on most days. I feel the wind picking up speed and I pull my coat closer against me as I raise my face to the sky. It is clear and blue and perfect. A loud cawing draws my attention. I look further up the path I am on and see two huge black crows fighting over something. As I approach them, they let out a loud sound at the human who has walked into their space, it almost sounds rude to the ear. Then they flap their wings and take off to another part of the field where they would be left in peace. I understand them well, I crave peace too.

Approaching the apple trees, I see that they’ve lost all their foliage and now stand naked their twig-like branches reaching out to nothing in particular. Not too long ago, they looked bright and beautiful with globes of red, pink and green hanging from their green branches. The apples have been harvested and there is nothing more left to be done until springtime of course. Out of what stands before me will emerge pink and white blossoms bringing with them a faint delicate scent that is warm and delicious and the cycle will start again. So it is with life. There is no end and no beginning. It is a never-ending cycle. You get on at some point and you get off when your time is up but life never stops moving, it just keeps on going.

As I make my way back, I realize that I haven’t seen the deer. I hope it is alright. Feeling refreshed by the clean air and the open spaces for as far as the eye can see, I say a small “thank you” for the beauty, the peace and the graciousness of nature. It has accompanied me in good times and bad and will be my companion for many more walks to come. Suddenly, a sharp shrill sound pierces the air. I look up to see a hawk hovering above me. A smile crosses my face as I watch it stay there for a while. Almost weightless it hovers and then it lets out another shrill cry as it flies away into the blue yonder. Nature teaches us many things but most of all it has the power to heal, it shows us a thousand miracles if we are open to it and in its own way it shows us that there is a time and place for everything.

“I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees.” Henry David Thoreau

Or this one,

“And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.” John Muir

Have an amazing day.

Cross-Country Trip

Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike? What about horse and buggy? Just kidding.

I don’t like trains so that is out of the question, I don’t like buses and bikes either. So that leaves the car and or airplane. Airplanes were my mode of transport going overseas or for going to another country. I always found it stressful and I’m not good at dealing with jetlag, it took me several days to get over it. So that seems to be out as well.

The car is the last one standing on four wheels. It is my current mode of transport for doing the things I need to get done everyday like running to the store or other stuff that is part and parcel of my daily existence. Cross-country trips are far and few these days but I’ve done it in the past. The car is a comfortable way of travel but depending on where you’re at, it can get more than stressful especially if you’re on the Autobahn and driving with the speed demons. It can scare the hell out of you. I still prefer the car if I had to do a cross-country trip just for the comfort factor alone and NOT having to deal with the masses. However, it has its ups and downs as well.

Daily writing prompt

You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?

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Change

I was talking to someone this morning and I asked the question, “What if there comes a time when you can’t do one or the other?” I was referring to his love of traveling and diving. The answer back was alarming to say the least. He said, “I would be dead!”

“Change….A simple word with a difficult meaning.” Unknown

The “difficult” part is not being able to adapt to change. Whatever that change entails. I can’t stand change for the most part. It means I would have to get out of my comfort zone and that scares the hell out of me. It also means going within and doing battle to accept the changes coming my way which is what change usually means. Adapting is never easy but life as we all know it is a never-ending series of changes. Staying put is never an option.

Charles Darwin said it well:

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

Does change have the potential to kill you? It may feel like that at the beginning because letting go of something you’ve become accustomed to is HARD. However, saying no is not an option either. Look at it this way.

“Life is like underwear, change is good.” Unknown

You can change and you can adapt and that is the truth of the matter. We are all pre-programmed to do just that. Going back in time, I had to adapt to so many of life’s happenings and after the usual, I CAN’T, I gave up and let life take the lead and I went along for the ride. Some things turned out almost perfectly and others, well, let’s just say it wasn’t the outcome I expected. All in all, I had no choice or rather the choices were limited. Move or get run over was the message.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates

Adaptation, it seems is a key crucial element to change. The more you fight it, the harder it will be. There are no remotes available so that you can press a button and get instant gratification. In order for life to happen and for change to take place, you have to get up and change it yourself. Scary? Definitely.

Opray Winfrey said:

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.”

That simple huh? No, not that simple but there is truth in that saying. So change your attitude, grab the reins of your life and make change happen. There’s a whole wide world of possibilities waiting out there and one of them has your name on it. You can only have it if you adapt. Nothing more, nothing less.

Have an amazing day.

The Most Confident Person I Know

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This is a hard one and this early in the morning? My mind is doing a scramble to unravel that mystery because I’ve known many people in my life who seemed very confident and had a handle on this thing called life.

If I had to narrow it down to one person, I would say it was my mom. She is no longer here but her presence remains and is a constant reminder that I can do all things as she did in her life. She was a petite person but a giant when it came to raising her children. Some would call her an “helicopter mom” because her life was based around us and she was constantly looking out for us but when it came to parenting, she was a one woman parenting machine! I take many of my cues from her when it comes to my son and the questions he has. She had answers to every question and believe me there were many many questions!

Part of that parenting system didn’t cater to a rambunctious young girl because I wanted things my way but she stood her ground. She stood up to adversity like a pro and challenges were just that, something to be conquered or handled and that was it. No berating herself like I do. I remember her standing tall even at the worst times in her life and even when her life came to an end because someone chose to end it, she put up a fight. She was and is, the most confident person I know and have known. She had faith in herself and in God and these two things combined together were an unbeatable team. I am confident but nowhere close to where she was but I am learning to embrace my own strength and I see confidence in how I handle things as well. Perhaps the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree as they say.

Breathing In Life

It’s interesting how everything comes back to this one thing and that is breathing. We pay it very little mind as we rush through life and forget that it exists but only as something we take for granted. It is that motion of taking in a breath and letting it out that tells us we are alive but how are we breathing? Has stress made your breathing harder, has anger stopped it in its tracks or has sadness made it shallow and rhythmless? Probably all of those things and more. Yet, if we stopped breathing than life would come to a standstill.

I found some beautiful quotes that gets you thinking about this thoughtless process we call breathing. It speaks to just how beautiful and essential it is to breathe and to pay attention to the kind of breathing we are doing.

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful its ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living, heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” LR Knost

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“Stop your worrying, panicking and stressing.

BREATHE.

Remember, you made it this far through difficulties that seemed impossible. Remember how many times you were saved at the very last minute – this time is no different.” Bryant McGill

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“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” Mandy Hale

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“As you waste your breath complaining about life, someone out there is breathing their last breath.” Appreciate what you have.” Unknown

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“Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” Unknown

Did something or someone take your breath away today? The Magnolia tree out back took my breath away this morning. It is getting ready to bloom and soon it will be a showpiece as it is every year and it will be enough to take your breath away. The daffodils are shaking their yellow heads, their beauty simple but breathtaking. Most of all, the lone deer that ran through the fields this morning was mesmerizing and breathtaking as I stood and watched it do its spring dance of happiness. I got my daily dose of breathtaking moments today but I’m sure there will be more tomorrow, I just need to appreciate what’s in front of me.

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“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breath and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are.” Unknown

YOU GOT THIS.

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“Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?” Mary Oliver

Words to pay attention to. We deserve better don’t you think?

Have an amazing day.

Combating Negative Feelings

I would say the same things I mentioned in yesterday’s “Daily Prompt,” plus I’ll add a few more. Besides walking, working out and meditation, I put my feelings down on paper or write articles on how I am feeling and what I have done or am doing to combat those feelings.

Writing is a tremendous tool, if you can call it that, to bring out what I am holding inside into the open so that it no longer weighs me down. Getting it out there has also helped me to get a better focus on the problem and to come up with better ways of handling whatever is bothering me. Somehow seeing it for what it is, just a ripple even if at times it seems like a big rock, helps me to deal with the situation in a more focused way. Writing is often my go to method for solving negative feelings and it has been working so far.

The other method I turn to is breathing. Whenever I feel like I am drowning in negativity, it happens from time to time but when I sit myself down and go within and start one of my breathing techniques, it melts away. This doesn’t always work but more often than not. There’s something about taking a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds and slowly letting go with a sigh that releases the anxiety and nervousness within. It is a stress buster and just a few minutes a day does wonders for my inner being, my psyche and for letting negative feelings go where they belong, wherever that is. Peace is what I seek and it is what I find when I do “deep breathing” several times a day.

Daily writing prompt

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

View all responses

The White Flag!

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I think it has been three weeks since Gallahad and Shiro moved in. They are my son’s cats and since he was starting a new job, he couldn’t have them with him and so with a sad heart, he left them with me. I wasn’t too keen on the idea because I knew how much work they would be plus Chachi, the cat, was used to having this place all to himself. Bringing all three together was a daunting task and lots of work.

It was hard and still is. They are getting used to each other. Gallahad, is a British long-haired cat with dark fur and bright orange eyes. Shiro is all white with big eyes and looks like the cat on the Gourmet Food ads. They are two different personalities. Galli is soft and sweet and even though he looks menacing, he is a gentle giant. Shiri is the princess and she knows it! She was daddy’s little girl and was spoiled rotten. She is also a no-nonsense type and that turned out to be a problem for Chachi, the Little Macho.

Anyway, it has been three weeks in and the “thaw” wasn’t taking place no matter how hard I tried. Chachi had a hissy fit the first week which rolled into the second week. He decided to get along with Galli but Shiro was a different matter altogether. He has started tolerating Galli and lets him play with his stuffed toys but Shiro still gets a hiss whenever he sees her.

However, yesterday he did a 360 and decided to roll out the white flag. Don’t ask me why. It happened and the Little Macho woke up with a glint in his eye as if he had this bright idea. The idea turned out to be, let’s lay down arms and be friends BUT on my terms! Little did he know that the other two had other ideas. No deals were their stance. Sound familiar to what is happening in the real world? Anyway, the morning started out fine.

Chachi: “You can play with my toys Galli,” tail tucked between his legs.

Galli: “I’ve been playing with them. I don’t need your permission for that you little Snort.”

Chachi: “You weren’t brought up well, were you? You have to ask first.”

Galli: “Okay, thank you!”

Just then Shiro walks in and takes a gander at what is going on. Immediately, Little Macho throws down the white flag and goes into a hissy fit. I think he doesn’t like females, yours truly excluded of course.

Shiro: “You sure have a loud hiss for a little thing. I can take you down anytime Little Bubba.”

Chachi: “Who are you calling Little Bubba? By the way, I think you should get some sun. That pale look doesn’t suit you.”

They did the Mexican standoff for a few minutes and then decided to let it go but not before Shiro decided to get the last word in.

Shiro: “You should learn some manners and what’s with the John Wayne swagger? You are way too big for your britches.”

Chachi: “MOM! What did she say?!!”

ME: “She said you are adorable and cute. She wants to be friends.”

Chachi: “Yeah, I am and I know it. Glad that she sees it too. I think she is afraid and wants to make nice. Okay, we’ll try it. Shiro, you can play with my toys too but one false move and I’ll be on you before you can swish that pretty tail of yours!”

Shiro: “Thank you Chachi but keep your distance. You are too full of yourself but I will take you up on the offer.”

She walked over to the toy basket, picked out Chachi’s favorite stuffed bird and walked out with a swish of the tail and an elegant stride out of the room.

Chachi: “Mommy!”

Me: “It’s alright. You’ll get it back. Play nice and make peace.”

Chachi: “I DON’T LIKE HER!”

This went on for a while until Little Macho decided to give in and make friends. Afternoon found all three in the bedroom taking their afternoon siesta. Galli on my bed, Shiro stretched out on the floor and Chachi snoozing next to me.

Peace at last! Will it last? I don’t know but I’m enjoying the temporary ceasefire!

Have an amazing day.

“Stupid is as Stupid Does” (Archives)

Nothing much has changed except for the fact that “stupidity” can be a precursor to war! We are right in the middle of one with no idea where it is going and why it got started in the first place. I bet they don’t know either.

Trump’s modus operandi is always the same. Open mouth and insert foot! The man doesn’t care if it’s the truth, lies or made-up exaggerations. It’s all fair game to him as long as it gives him the upper hand but that is only in his mind. We know better and the fact-checkers know better too. His racist-tinged lies, inaccuracies and hoopla are affecting his campaign but he doesn’t care. Trump knows best because he is the ‘man’ as far as he is concerned.

On Thursday, he stepped up to the podium again and inserted more than his foot in his mouth this time around. He degraded veterans and gold-star families by saying that mega-donor, Miriam Adelson is a national hero. Not realizing what he had just said, he went on his merry way. According to the self-proclaimed ‘stable genius’ they are one and the same. “The Presidential Medal of Freedom is the highest award you can get as a civilian, it’s the equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Honor, but civilian version. It’s actually much better, because everyone gets the Congressional Medal of Honor – that’s soldiers. They’re either in very bad shape because they’ve been hit so many times by bullets, or they’re dead.”

Hmm…..what else would you expect from someone who received five military draft deferments during the Vietnam War and is absolutely clueless about what it means to put your life on the line for your country.

“Ignorance is the absence of knowledge, stupidity is the refusal to acquire or accept it.” Unknown

Kevin D. Williamson says in his article, “Lazy, Stupid, Childish,” that “Trump’s three big problems as a candidate are precisely the same qualities that mitigated the worst of what might have been a much worse Trump presidency the last time around. He is lazy, he is stupid, and he is childish.”

Perfectly said but let’s add ‘crazy’ to that as well. He further adds, “Trump’s stupidity is wrapped up in his laziness. Anyone who has heard Trump speak or read his unedited writing knows that he is not an especially intelligent man. But his native stupidity is compounded by his ignorance – the fact that he is too lazy to do his homework and acquire the kind of grasp of the issues that would make him a more effective candidate.”

No chance of that ever happening because Mr. Trump marches to his own drumbeat and his stupidity arises from that one simple fact. Mr. Williamson knows exactly why Trump’s stupidity is front and center. He says, “there is a reason he wanders all over the place in his speeches – it isn’t only arrogance and self-centeredness. He’s dumber than nine chickens.”

“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” Martin Luther King

Michael Moore, “Fahrenheit 9/11” director is hopeful that Donald Trump will do more of the same as he faces off with Kamala Harris on the debate stage in September. His prediction is that, “Trump could struggle when facing the Democratic VP onstage. I think I’m going to see what I was hoping for for eight years. Once anybody gets under that thin skin anything could happen. On live TV? Trump could explode, start talking like a 12-year-old, or get up and leave.”

Or, he could resort to name-calling, race-baiting and jump up and down like the spoiled little brat he is. Regardless of what he does, he will be facing off against a much better candidate who knows where to strike while the iron is hot. And that folks is the absolute truth and it will be something to watch.