Uncategorized – Page 122

The Cinderella Effect

A friend sent this a few days ago and it got me thinking.

“If life doesn’t feel like a fairytale,

If every beautiful sentence seems like ridiculous madness to you…..

Take your existence by the hand,

Be the artist of your own future,

Don’t wait for toads to turn into princes, or pumpkins into carriages,

Remember that everything that was conquered with effort, smells of joy that knows no limits,

Be your own fairytale.” Unknown

I would love to take that last line to heart but fairytales are made of fairy dust and all things nice. The guy gets the girl, a pair of glass slippers has the power to snare a prince and there is a fairy godmother who orchestrates the whole shebang! How far from the truth can it be? These days things just don’t work that way. I am not sure if it did work that way in Fairytale Land but make-believe is just that, you can work magic into anything and parade it as the truth and have people swallow it lock, stock and barrel!

These days you pick someone out of a dating site, whichever it might be. Then begins the excruciating task of deciding if it’s a “yes” a “no” or it lands in the maybe pile. It all boils down to as the saying goes from the Frog Prince, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince.” Not appetizing is it? And even then, you might just walk away with nothing to show for it and that is the reality of it.

Life is not a fairytale. The girl doesn’t always get the guy in the end and there is no walking off into the sunset and happily ever after either. More often than not the shoe doesn’t fit and heartbreak follows in its wake. I could go on and on but I am going to stop right here and lighten the mood a little. I hope these quotes help to keep you company as we go through life searching for that needle in the haystack.

“Someday my Prince Charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.” Unknown

That hasn’t changed much. You know what I am talking about if you’ve ever been in a car with a guy and he refuses to admit that he’s lost. Nothing new there.

I love this next one from Ms. Oprah Winfrey.

“Mr. Right’s coming, but he’s in Africa, and he’s walking.”

Ms. Carrie Bradshaw had a lot to say on this topic as well.

And just like that:

“A relationship is like couture. If it doesn’t fit perfectly, it’s a disaster.”

The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

“Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want and just see what happens.”

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a girl will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

Don’t despair. As the Fairy Godmother said:

“Even miracles take a little time.”

If all else fails,

Ladies,

Please stop wasting your time looking for Mr. Right.

Just find Mr. Left and drag that sucker to the right!

Just an update on this one. IT DOES NOT WORK!

Have an amazing day.

It’s on the Way!

It’s unbelievable but we are approaching Christmas at a fast pace, faster than I would like. It’s just 21 days away so let me ask you, where did this year go? It seems to have come in on wings and just as swiftly it is getting ready to fly out of here.

“It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.” W. T. Ellis

The neighbors are trying frantically to out do each other as to who has the best Christmas decorations and I haven’t even started yet. The Christmas tree vendor has his little shack set up with trees both big and small. The call is inviting but I’ve decided no real tree this year. There is nothing better than the scent of fresh pine on a cold winter’s morning but I’m not up to the hassle of lugging that tree back to the house and setting it up. It is not in my repertoire of things to do this Christmas. Bah Humbug?!! Not really, I love Christmas in all its shapes and forms BUT I’m not expending too much energy this year. Scrooge? I hope not. I’m actually missing the guy who will help me with such things so I’m hoping he’s on the way and maybe, just maybe, Christmas will be an all out affair next year. One can only hope.

“Christmas isn’t a season. It’s a feeling.” Edna Ferber

What’s Christmas without the lights? Exactly! The house will be lit up like a neon sign but tastefully and candles will get the scent of Christmas going. My faithful Santa will take his rightful place at the front door as he does each year, all lit up, his cheeks red from the cold and grinning from ear to ear.

I like cozy so the fireplace will be going and couches and chairs will be decked out in Christmas blankets and cushions. Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus along with The Three Wise Men will take their place of honor in a simple manger on a mantel by the fireplace and Christmas music will add to the atmosphere. Of course, there will be presents, it goes without saying but they won’t be under a huge Christmas tree. I’ll have them piled under a tiny fake tree but it will be pretty just the same.

I like Christmas, no, I LOVE Christmas! I love the scents and sounds of Christmas but more than that, I love the peaceful feeling that Christmas brings. There is just something about this time of year when it’s cold outside but there is warmth inside, not just indoors but in our hearts as well.

“May this Christmas, Santa fill your tree of life with presents of happiness, joy and love.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

YOU ARE ENOUGH

Just three little words but they are a powerhouse that can open up a world of possibilities, if you grasp the concept, that is. There’s no stopping you once you learn that you don’t need outside validation to measure up, love strokes to make you feel worthy and people to shore you up and to give your life importance.

What do those words mean, you ask? According to melissacamarawilkins.com, it means “that you don’t have to strive to become more worthy, more valid, more acceptable, or more loved. You already are all of those things.”

Just some psychological mumbo jumbo? Perhaps. Think of it this way. If you know within that you don’t have to fight to be accepted, prove to someone you are worthy of love and that YOU are all those things already, that’s half the battle won, isn’t it?

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” Unknown

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Know that, embrace it and move out into the world. It is not kind, this world of ours. There are those who will pull you down for whatever the reason, those who will bully you if you let them and those who will make you doubt your self-worth. None of that will measure up or bring you down once you know deep within that YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

If someone breaks your heart, don’t go into the doldrums of despair although that is easy enough to do. Perhaps, that person was not the right one for you and there is someone out there who will treasure that broken heart, pick up the pieces, tape them together for you. Even if there isn’t, know that everything happens for a reason even if that reason isn’t clear right now. Accept it, trust in the process and move on, one step at a time. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

YOU ARE ENOUGH

There is greatness within you. Look at far you’ve come from the moments or events that have shaped your life and you thought this is it, there is no moving on from here. Whatever “here” was for you at that time but somehow you did. You can weather any storm because the rain doesn’t last forever even though at times it seems never-ending. Know that you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it because you are strong and unbeatable. The spirit within can move mountains if you let it. You just need to change your mindset from one of negativity to positivity. Make loving yourself your ultimate goal. If you don’t, no one will. Be your own best friend, your own cheerleader, and your own champion and hero of your story. You can achieve anything no matter what anyone says. YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE.

Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to realize you’re done descending, and it’s time to rise. Sometimes it takes being told you’re nothing – being made to feel like you’re nothing – to help you see that you are complete.

YOU. ARE. ENOUGH

Mandy Hale

I wish you all the things that make you enough. Love, dreams, hope, courage, kindness and most of all resilience. YOU, my friend, are enough as you are.

Have an amazing day.

It’s a Mean World

Meanness exists in all forms and it is out there. However, I want to talk to you about the people you let into your inner circle, the ones who have been given direct access to you and the ones who have the opportunity to take aim and wreck havoc in your life. The ones who show you that meanness is not only out there in the world but that it is much closer to home and if given the chance, it can bring you down to your knees.

Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

There is so much truth in that one little quote. The problem is we see it, we know that it is not good for us but we keep hoping for change, hoping that the person will change for the better and show you something different but it never happens. Perhaps, it is in their DNA and change in any form will not be forthcoming. At times it is a bitter pill to swallow but still we hang on hoping for the best and all we get is the same old stuff or worse. It is time to do different.

The world is not made up of sugar and spice and all things nice. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. There are those who won’t hesitate to hurt you, play with your heart, those who will use their actions to show you how little you mean to them and there are those who will break you simply because they can.

“It’s hard to be nice when the rest of the world is so mean.” Sarah Dessen

Step out into the world knowing that not everyone is nice. Pay attention to what is being shown to you. Their actions will speak louder than words. Are they liars/cheaters? Did they show you that they are and later came up with excuses for their indiscretions? Excuses or not, they’ve shown you that you can’t trust them. Believe them and take it from there. A liar/cheater is someone who takes you lightly. If you had meant more to them, they wouldn’t have gone down that path of no return. If you’re thinking they’ll change, think again. Once a cheater always a cheater. It’s somehow wired into their DNA and each time they get away with it, they become more emboldened. Betrayers betray you when it suits them. You are the last thing on their mind when they decide to cheat. It’s all about them so remember that because giving them a second chance is like, “Setting yourself on fire to keep them warm.” Breaking a heart is not a small matter but it is to them. People who truly value you will not hurt you that way and that right there is the truth of the matter.

“You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.” Oprah Winfrey

Always remember your life is important. You are worthy of having good people around you and leave the mean ones out of the picture. The jealous types will make you feel like you’re guilty of doing something wrong all the time. Just because someone smiled at you, you’re at fault. If someone shows you attention, they go off the deep end. These types are insecure about themselves so everything you do is somehow not to their liking. You define your own life and stay away from these control freaks. You have nothing in common with them and love is not about control. You deserve a relationship where you can co-exist with mutual respect, love, tolerance and freedom. The freedom to be as you are. Write your own script and do it well. Get rid of all the things that do not serve you and move forward with confidence knowing that the right person is out there and waiting.

Work on finding the right people to help you build your world. The ones who will stand by you, add value to your life, be there when times are tough but most of all the ones who will show you through their actions that they are willing to make a mean world better by being the kind of people you deserve. Do not settle for anything less. Choose your friends carefully but more importantly guard your heart, know your worth and place boundaries where they need to be placed. It’s a mean world out there and not everyone is going to look out for you. You’ll have to learn if the people within your inner circle are destroyers or builders. Get rid of the destroyers, the ones who sap your energy, bring you down and are just fair-weather friends and hold onto the builders because they’re the ones who want to see you thrive and succeed in whatever you choose to do.

“It’s unfortunate because people have become so comfortable being mean.” Rachel Lindsay

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

YOU ARE IMPORTANT

Quite often, we let the people we interact with on a daily basis and the world around us with its idiosyncrasies and events that happen to us interpret how we feel, how we react and how much worth we give it and if we are important or not in the grand scheme of things. I am guilty as charged.

The Dalai Lama said it best, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

Yet we do it time and time again. Just yesterday, a girlfriend broke up with her so called boyfriend. He was for all purposes a NO-GO as far as I was concerned and it was clear for all to see including her but she was in a difficult place nonetheless. Finding out she was “not important” was a devastating cross to bear even if she saw it coming. Yet, this is nothing new. We hand over how important we are in a relationship to the other person and forget in the process that YOU as a person matter and you define how important you are and what you will stand for and what you won’t put up with.

“When you are important to another person, that person will always find a way to make time for you. No excuses, no lies and no broken promises.” Unknown

Relationships are hard enough as it is to navigate without having to deal with the “invisible man,” meaning the guy who says he loves you but when it comes down to showing you that you are important, he shows time and again that YOU are an afterthought and as far as the importance scale goes you are on the bottom rung of the ladder. The disappearing act happens not once, not twice but over and over again. No guessing game needed here. It is up to you to put yourself front and center and to say enough is enough!

“You are important and you matter.

Your voice matters.

Your life matters.

Your feelings matter.

Your story matters.

ALWAYS.” Unknown

Let me add to that. You as a person matter and don’t let anyone take you for granted either.

One Day It Just Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself.

You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile.

You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Steve Maraboli

Finally,

“Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher.” Unknown

You are well worth the effort and don’t let anyone show you otherwise. Your worth is determined by you, so stand tall and show the world that YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

Have an amazing day.

The Hard Things

Most of us cringe at the thought of doing the hard things. Be it a break-up, walking away, losing a job and letting go of things that no longer serve us, it is an exceptionally hard thing to do. It is not something we look forward to because it means taking the bull by the horns and waging war on what seems to be an impossible task at first. Given time, patience, perseverance and a hard-headed look at what needs to be done to get to the other side, we find it is doable but not easy.

Easy is not what life is about. If anything, easy is not in its vocabulary. It seems at times that “living” is about going through the hard stuff. Sometimes one and sometimes a string of unsolvable and often times impossible situations but you and I know that it is those hard times and how you deal with it that brings out the strength in you. Sure, it would be easier if we didn’t have to deal with them but when has that stopped life from throwing it our way?

Where would we be without them? Probably having a great time without having to walk through the minefield of the hard stuff all equipped and designed to bring you down to your knees if you make a false move. There is no right or wrong way of going about it, it is trial and error and an undying resilience to take what is handed to you and to make it work for you. We’ve all made those false moves where we’ve crashed and burned and just when you think there is nothing left to do except to pick up the pieces and make the most of it, there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. There is that open door that beckons because as you know when one door closes, another one opens but it is human nature or at least it is mine to look past it and back at the one that has closed and is no longer available.

“Hard things are hard because there are no easy answers or recipes. They are hard because your emotions are at odds with your logic. They are hard because you don’t know the answer and you cannot ask for help without showing weakness.” Ben Horowitz

The hard stuff has kept me captive for longer than I want to admit. Truth is, I don’t do “HARD” well. Holding on is my nemesis, letting go of things that no longer serve me is harder still and moving on, well that is an impossible task at times. I hold on hoping that changes will come my way but it never does. Things happen for a reason, people are the way they are because they are wired that way and looking and hoping is not going to change things. However, whatever life throws your way, there is a lesson in there somewhere but it is hard to see when it first hits you. I think we fail miserably at times because we walk in circles, bang our heads on that closed door and refuse to move on until we are drained of energy and there is nothing else to do but to walk through that open door. Human nature at its best? I think so.

We are fully capable and have the strength within to meet the hard stuff head on and to tame it if necessary. It is the fear of the unknown in sync with the weakness within that works hand-in-hand to stop us in our tracks, makes us tremble where we stand as we whisper, I can’t. You and I have had our baptism by fire in one form or another, of this I am sure. The hard thing is just one more obstacle to overcome, nothing more, nothing less. We tend to make it more than what it is. Life is a never-ending circle of challenges in the form of “hard things” to overcome. It is mixed in with the good stuff but it is the hard stuff that brings forth the real you. Your strength, your power and most of all your ability to slay it where it stands takes courage, growth and an attitude of never giving up which will put the “hard stuff” in its place. Who knows if shown the door more often than not, it might decide to stay away. We can hope can’t we?

“I see your fear, and it’s big. I also see your courage, and it’s bigger. We can do hard things.” Glennon Doyle

Have an amazing day.

A Glorious Walk

It was a gorgeous day yesterday. I usually don’t walk on Saturdays and Sundays but the sun was shining and I just couldn’t resist it. Blue skies with white puffy clouds greeted me as I stepped onto the fields.

“Another glorious day, the air as delicious to the lungs as nectar to the tongue.” John Muir

Surprisingly, I was all alone. Weekends you see more traffic here but today either the people were still sleeping or they decided that it was just too cold to venture outside. They didn’t know what they were missing!

The fields were frosted in places. It was as if someone had taken a paintbrush and splashed it haphazardly with crushed ice. It was beautiful but it was more than that. Serene, is the word that comes to mind. Taking in a deep breath as I usually do, I kept on walking my gloved hands shoved into my thick coat pockets. It was cold but the sun was deceptively warm as it graced my face and welcomed my presence.

I headed to where the herons gather. Just a spot out in the fields, nothing special but it was for some reason their sacred gathering place. Today, I wanted to be in their presence or as close as I could to them. It was as if I needed to see them to feel complete. Maybe, I just needed their calmness and their stoic stillness to seep into me. They are masters of calm after all. Standing still like sculptures made out of stone, they let nothing bother them. Unlike yours truly who lets everything grasp at her insides and take her for a ride. Today, I needed that calm to bring me back into balance. Unfortunately, they were nowhere to be seen. Too cold? Had they flown to sunnier pastures? Nature has a way and a time and place for everything. Mine was not to stomp my feet and question why or to demand that it be otherwise.

I made my way back gazing at the sky above me. It was gorgeous. It was blue, an almost azure blue with streaks of white criss-crossing them for as far as the eyes could see. Just a slight droning told me that there were planes up there making their way to somewhere. I welcomed the slight noise as nothing else was moving here below and if not for that slight droning noise from above, there would be an eerie silence surrounding me.

I was still filled with unrest but the walk had taken it down a notch or two. As usual, these walks help me to go within and to ponder about life, nature, the universe and about people as well, The fields also help to let my imagination run wild not that my imagination needs any help in that respect! It was a beautiful morning and a glorious day. Looking forward to more of the same in the days to come.

Have an amazing day.

Stay Calm, Stay Focused

Staying calm and focused when your mind tells you otherwise is normal. It is human nature. My mind goes haywire and jumps around like a monkey when I’m stressed or I have to concentrate on what is before me and what needs to get done. Oftentimes I need to take a step back, go within myself to find the strength in silence and to focus on what I need to do to move on. It doesn’t always work but it does work if I stay focused.

“The ability to remain calm and focused on what truly matters is a superpower.” Unknown

Be like the tree that has weathered many storms and is still standing. It takes practice and a certain kind of mindset to weather a storm, any storm. If you’ve never worked a day in your life and the time has come to find a job, to get independent and to stand on your own two feet, you tend to lose focus because the unknown is formidable. However, with each fall you take, you gain the strength and the know how to get back up and to keep moving. Time, focus, calm and lots of practice makes it possible and soon you will be standing like that tree, strong and unshakeable in any storm. Breathe and keep moving. Standing still is never the answer.

“Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. C. Lourie

Stay focused but not on the wrong things. I can’t do this is not one of them. This is way too scary is not one of them. The ‘monster’ is too hard to slay is not one of them. Focus on finding the positive within the negative. Be prepared to put one foot in front of the other but whatever you do, do not take the easy way out or rather the coward’s way out and give up. It is easy to give up but much harder to step into an unknown arena and to win the day. YOU CAN DO THIS!

“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breathe and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are. You got this.” Unknown

Finally, tell the monkey in your brain that keeps dragging you all over the place with no end in sight to take a hike! Breathe, calm yourself down and stay focus on what you need to do to make it. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Have an amazing day.

The Lighted Candle

The primary symbolism of candles lies in their ability to illuminate darkness. Candles, with their gentle glow, symbolize the search for truth, clarity and inner illumination. I equate quotes as having the same power. If you listen carefully they open doors, lead you forward and they teach without delivering a sermon.

Some of my all-time favorite quotes come from a blogger who is also the creator of the social media movement “The Single Woman.” She has written many “scathing articles and books and don’t forget quotes about her ex-boyfriend and about his pathological emotional abuse and betrayals. The lady speaks to my heart. Here are some of my favorite quotes written by Mandy Hale.

“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

“Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person, that you are.”

And if they can’t handle you, it is their problem not yours.

“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.”

This one is scary. Sometimes you want to settle because fear takes over but settling means giving up and you are too important for that. Do not settle for less than you want.

“The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become.”

This one is exhausting. Learning to deal with such people is never easy, add trying to make them see different is like talking to the wall. Let it go and embrace peace.

“You’re actually MORE likely to be single when you have a lot to offer because you’ll realize that most people aren’t worthy of all that greatness.”

I totally agree, well, it is actually a more positive way of looking at it.

“It’s OK to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to do something really, really brave.”

Fear is my second name but I suppose I have done things to be proud of in spite of it. Brave things? Maybe….

“Confidence is the ability to feel Beautiful without needing someone to tell you.”

Ok this one hit home. I wrote an article yesterday about one of my OFF days and looking like a nightmare in the process. A friend told me later, I can turn all your nightmares into dreams! The problem is I lack confidence so that didn’t do much to get me out of Nightmare land!

Confidence is not:

“They will like me.”

Confidence is:

“I’ll be fine if they don’t.”

“Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed and rearranged to relocate us to the place we’re meant to be.”

Been there, done that, many times over. Still looking for the relocation part.

“A person being “too busy” is a myth. People make time for the things that are really important to them.”

This is the absolute truth. No time means YOU are not important.

“If you lost it, it’s because you’re meant to find something better. Trust, let go and make room for what’s coming.”

Doing exactly that but can someone tell me how long this process will take?

“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over, no matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it….it’s over. It can hurt you no more.”

True but you sure can learn from it and not repeat the same mistakes the next time around.

“You’re beautiful just the way you are. Shine on, and dare anyone to turn off your lights.”

“The only keeper of your happiness is YOU. Stop giving people power to control your smile, your worth and your attitude!”

There you go, perfectly said I might add.

Where are you going today? Are you dealing with negatives or are you heading towards more positive pastures? Let go and move towards the light. Take the candlelight with you and pass it on to someone who really needs it.

Think of one thing you are grateful for. When I first heard this, I had a hard time finding just one little thing. Within a few minutes, I had my basket full! I am grateful for the roof over my head, the warm bed, the beautiful fall day, the food that gave me joy today and the people who are dear to me. Of course, Chachi, the cat is at the top of that list too.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY

YOU ARE ENOUGH

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” Unknown

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

YOU ARE ENOUGH

YOU. ARE. ENOUGH

Mandy Hale

I wish you all the things that make you enough. Love, dreams, hope, courage, kindness and most of all resilience. YOU, my friend, are enough as you are.

Have an amazing day.