If you want to change things for the better, vote! In short, your vote is your voice so let it be heard loud and clear. It is the only way to make a difference. By voting, you have a say in how certain issues are decided. Some important issues are gun safety and gun rights, crime prevention and law enforcement and Medicare and Social Security benefits just to name a few. Your vote counts in how these issues are decided.
So, yes voting is important. It may seem like a small thing but your voice matters so show up and let it be heard. Know that you have a say in the matter.
Direction is needed to show where you are headed. If you have a purpose it is easier to navigate life’s twists and turns because you have a goal and that further motivates your journey, whatever that is for you.
In my case, I am on a journey to find love. Therefore, I am working on what it takes to get me there. I have this narrow-minded focus which helps to align and move me forward towards that specific goal. This also helps to provide a roadmap for my journey although it is not always clear and often it means falling off by the wayside many times over but I get back on and that is important because standing still is not going to do it. Keep moving, keep learning and keep on heading towards the direction you want to go. If you want a certain outcome, you have to do the work. This purpose also helps me to stop drifting aimlessly because I have a goal in mind. Look at where you are now and where you want to go. This helps to give a purpose or direction to work towards to. Success is all up to you and I know that embracing the unknown is scary but it is needed in this case.
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy (or gal) who’ll decide where to go.” Dr. Seuss
It started out as usual. Running around like a chicken with its head off is normal here now that the other two cats have moved in. Mornings are not mine anymore. The meowing starts around 5 in the morning and doesn’t stop until I open my bedroom door and see the two, Shiro and Galli looking at me expectantly. They know the “food lady” is up and they can relax.
My little guy, Chachi, hates this ritual. He used to be the one and only but now finds himself sharing everything with the other two and it is not setting too well with him. He is quieter than usual, keeps to himself, and growls a lot. I put it down to territorial behavior but things escalated this morning.
I got up, fed the two, cleaned the litter boxes, all before breakfast! Then, I brought Little Macho (my guy) his food. He grunted and walked to the window and ignored me. That was the first sign and I should have paid attention but instead I picked him up and whispered to him telling him that I know it is hard for him. He glanced over with hooded eyes and it happened. He slapped me with his paws on both side of my face and I went, “Ouch!” It hurt. I couldn’t believe that he had done what he did. I rushed downstairs and looked for the disinfectant. Yes, I’m a germaphobe! I proceeded to disinfect the sides of my face and luckily it wasn’t that bad. He did break skin in a few places but I’m sure it will heal. What hurt more than that was the fact that my “little sweetheart” was capable of hurting me.
I Googled and it said that it is normal behavior for a resident cat to feel like his safe space has been invaded by strangers and it is also normal for him to direct his aggression towards me as well. The solution or rather suggestion was to keep them separated for a few days. Keep everything separate, litter boxes, food and sleeping space including play area. I had thought they were getting along but I was wrong and now I am sad. The article also went on to say that I should wash my hands after touching the other two so that he doesn’t smell them on me! It seems they need time to adjust and to do it slowly.
SAD? Absolutely. I love my little guy and I am sad that he is feeling left out. I like the other two as well and they are growing on me like barnacles on a rock! The little white one loves hanging around me and this morning I sprayed on some scent after my shower and she watched me and then started sniffing the air like she approved. So I let her smell my wrist and Chachi started growling! Gallahad is learning to play with a tennis ball. His idea of playtime is to let me do all the work! He hits the ball down the stairs and waits till I get it for him. Exactly why he is overweight and loving it!
Now, I have to work at getting all three to play together. It is going to take a few days of separation and I’m not sure how I am going to go about it but I will keep you posted. I have to get Chachi happy again and that is a priority. If there is a will, there is a way as they say.
Fingers and toes crossed and hopefully the scratches heal with no dire consequences!
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Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes when it comes to relationships? Why do we gravitate to the same types of people?
These are the questions I ask myself over and over again. It seems that I am drawn to the same types I left behind. It’s been a never-ending cycle and it seems like Groundhog’s Day over and over again to the point that it is horrific and mind-boggling to say the least.
Liars, cheaters and emotionally-unavailable men seem to draw me in like they’re magnetized and I have no willpower when it comes to these types. I walk in gladly like a lamb to the slaughter.
There is a reason so say the experts. They say “opposites attract” and “we are drawn to people who are strong in areas we are weak.” Hmm….there is more to this concept according to them. Two people who have an abusive past will be attracted to each other because they are viewed as equals. However, an abuser is not necessarily attracted to another abuser. He’s attracted to an “abusee” – or someone who will tolerate and enable his abuse. So to make it short and to the point, the “abusee” is familiar with abuse, be it physical, sexual or emotional abuse and so she is attracted to someone who gives her what she’s already comfortable with it.”
Lord have mercy!
Is there no way out of this pattern? There is but first you need to know that:
“Simplicity and Complexity need each other.” Unknown
However, there is a way out but not an easy one. You have to work at it with a narrow-minded focus.
Here goes. If you want to attract better, you must be better meaning you need to discard what is within you, the cause for your need to be abused. Find out where it stems from. Your childhood? Adulthood? The experts say look for patterns and don’t sweep what you find under the rug. The only way to learn from it, get past it, is to go through it. Otherwise, you’re doomed to repeat and attract the same types only in a different body!
This is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. As I have said in one of my other article, I am like a heat-seeking missile when it comes to the types I mentioned above. I find them!
Here are some tips from beyourownbrandofsexy.com on how to attract quality or high-value men. First, know yourself well and know what you need in a relationship and what matters to you.
Identify your Needs
Know what works and won’t work for you. Be selective and be ready to discard if something shows up as a red flag. “Loving the wrong person teaches you the red flags to watch out for the next time around.”
Don’t Settle
This is important. We tend to settle when we know that the person is the wrong type only because we tell ourselves that he will change or I can make him change. They don’t change, what they show you is what you get. So how do you stop attracting narcissists and the wrong men? DO NOT let them get close to you. Know what your non-negotiable dealbreakers are and stick to them.
Be your Own Person
This means be your own true authentic self. Say “no” to bad matches. Become your true, authentic self which helps you to gravitate to people who are better matches for you.
Be Persistent
If you want to end up in a solid relationship, persistence pays. This doesn’t mean being persistent in chasing the wrong types but staying true and waiting for the right one to show up. Dating is a learning experience and unfortunately, you’ll have rejections, bad dates and disappointments AND you’ll have to kiss some frogs but if you keep at it and know what you want, you might just land the man of your dreams.
While you’re working on that, take care of yourself as well. No point letting yourself go because that is not going to do it. Lose some weight if you have to, get fit both mentally and physically, take care of your skin and teeth because one guy did ask me to show him my teeth on our first date! They’re out there. Just know that physical appearance matters so present the best version of yourself.
Now, I have to go figure out the patterns in my life which make me attract the same types over and over again. That’s the cycle I need to break! I definitely want to break this cycle of attracting low-value men and having to kiss frogs and hoping that they’ll turn into Prince Charming. Time to get working to put my best self forward armed with the knowledge of exactly what I’ll settle for.
I swear if this doesn’t work I’m giving up altogether!
Many of you know I love quotes. I find them inspiring and it is a quick pick-me-up when days are not looking like I want it to look like. Just a quote or two and it does the trick of getting me back to where I need to be. Just words you might say. True, but inspiring ones nonetheless.
One quote I live by and have lived by for a long time is this. “Live and Let Live.” Such simple words but it is needed in this world of ours where ugliness and cruelty rules and being different is considered a cardinal sin. This indirect quote “emphasizes coexistence and respect for all life forms.” If you look further, it means let someone live their life as he or she chooses and accept it for what it is. This acceptance bit is hard to come by in some circles.
Racism thrives on viewing individuals as being different because of skin color religious beliefs and or behavioral traits. Anything different in this circle is a no go or looked upon with disdain. I consider racism and racist attitudes the bane of our society. Someone said to me recently, “It will never change, racism will always exist. There is nothing you and I can do about it.” I beg to differ. Our world can be so much better if we can embrace each person for who they are and not for their outward appearance, who they marry and who they choose to be with and their worship practices. It shouldn’t matter but unfortunately it does. Just look at what Trump is unleashing in America and the world. Being “brown” could bring you a death sentence in a concentration camp somewhere far away.
LIVE AND LET LIVE for a better world, for acceptance of all people and for world peace as well. Here’s the thing it starts with you. One small step at a time as I always say. Teach your children the same. It starts at home and it is doable.
Daily writing prompt
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
It’s hands down Christmas. I just love it when that time of year rolls around. Everything just seems to be covered in shades of pink and there is a glow in the air. Add all the trimmings and you’ve got a holiday that is filled with love and all things nice.
Christmas time used to be a big affair where everything was bigger than life. When I was married, the traditions continued but on a smaller scale. It was still a time when good food and decorations reigned supreme. There was magic in the air and when the 24th rolled around, the house was dressed and ready to impress. These days, it is of a less spectacular nature. The lights and decorations are still there but it has been toned down.
As a young girl growing up in a Christian household, it was about the birth of baby Jesus. Everything had a religious feel to it but when I moved away and spread my wings, it became less so. It still had a hold on me, this magical time of year but it was more about friends, getting together and exchanging presents than the birth of a young child in a manger long ago. I guess things change and not always for the better!
Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?
I haven’t been walking for about a week now and since the sun was on full display this morning, I decided to put on my walking shoes and take myself out there. It should be a gorgeous morning and it turned out to be more than that.
It was nice to get out in nature again and to see what was awaiting me. The leaves were rustling in the trees and the wind was a little chilly. I was out early and as usual there was no one around. I took the forest way and as I walked the color gold caught my eyes. They were quite a distance away but there was no mistaking their beauty. The rapeseed plants were in full bloom and against the Cerulean blue of the sky, they were a breathtaking sight to behold. I stopped and stared for a while as I usually do when something breathtaking catches my eye. This one deserved my full attention.
Moving on, I walked on in silence. There were the usual sounds of people working in their garden plots preparing their little slice of nature for what was to come. It could be tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, salad leaves, or just about anything. The village folk take great pride in their gardens and like the fields, everything is spruced up and watched over with eagle eyes! Most people don’t have much to do around here and for the old folk, it is a time to gather at their garden plots and to socialize as well. I walked on enjoying the trilling of the birds in the trees, a squirrel dashing across the path and the sound of a woodpecker playing loudly on a tree trunk!
Deciding to take a break, I sat on one of the wooden benches strategically placed along the way, turning my attention to the cloudless blue sky. It is going to be a gorgeous day, not too hot and not too cold. That spells “perfect” as far as I am concerned. The grass is an emerald green and here and there blooming trees parade their beauty as only they know how. It is a picturesque view and one that captures my imagination as I let out a sigh of relief after the stressful morning. Whatever is waiting for me back home is all but forgotten here, nature can calm the frazzled nerve and it can do much much more.
A cup of hot coffee was missing to complete the picture but it will come soon enough. Closing my eyes, I breathed in the fresh air and let the silence work on me. I needed a break from the three, Larry, Curly and Moe! Just kidding. Chachi, Shiro, and Galli (the three cats) are waiting for me to show up again so that they can pound me with their demands, it will come soon enough. This right now, is my slice of heaven and I’m glad I decided to get out and to let nature soothe me. It worked.
Time for that cup of coffee and to see what the three marauders are up to.
According to one source, “Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.”
That said, when was the last time you talked to yourself with compassion? When was the last time you gave yourself some extra care and when was the last time you took care of your needs first. I don’t do those things often enough but it is necessary for your total well-being. Some days, I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off taking care of others and on other days, I am my own worst critic. I am quick to blame and I stay there for a while to my own detriment. When I emerge from this destructive behavior, I am usually in a bad mood or everything seems just a tad gloomier.
We need to be nicer to the person we carry around. Compassion is needed and positive self-talk as well. Start by loving yourself first and it will create a ripple effect in the world around you. I think women are natural caregivers and in the process we forget to take care of ourselves. It’s time to stop and smell the roses even if it’s only for a little while. Enjoy the following quotes that bring “self-love” to the forefront and try to shine the spotlight on “YOU” for a change.
FRIENDLY REMINDER:
“It’s perfectly okay if the only exercise you get today is flipping the pages of a book or stirring your tea or smiling with friends. Well-being means your WHOLE body. Make sure your soul is getting as much exercise as your glutes.”
I sometimes forget to give my “soul” the same kind of attention I give to my body. Time to take note and do different.
“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor
Another important point here. Set those boundaries so you know in which direction you’re headed.
“Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.” Unknown
“Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.” Unknown
It’s true isn’t it? How someone sees you is not your problem. You are enough as you are and always remember that.
Here are a few more for good measure.
“Don’t let your mind bully your body.”
“Remember how you show up for yourself is how you teach others to show up for you.”
“Choose yourself more.”
“Life is too short to be mean to yourself.”
“Less self judgment and more self compassion.”
“Choose people who choose you.”
“Live your life like the story you want to be in.”
I used to do that during my undergrad days. I had a boyfriend who loved fishing as much as I did and one day he had the bright idea of us camping overnight at one of these places, the places being remote locations tucked away in the woods. It was wonderful finding a spot, throwing your line in, sitting back and enjoying the quiet until the fish bites! I loved the absolute peace of the place so I was more than ready to experience it at night.
On the given day, we made it there early and as usual it was empty except for the two of us. We built our campsite on a jetty protruding into the water. He gathered wood for the fire and got it going. It was still peaceful but then the sun started going down and the woods got dark. There was a creepy vibe about it but I kept it to myself. It was time for dinner so we had something simple and something warm to drink. The boyfriend wanted to fish so he threw out the line and took a seat as we talked about nothing in particular. It was very dark and I decided to curl up in my sleeping bag as he kept watch. Suddenly, we heard a loud sound coming from the woods. It sounded like footsteps so I looked at him and he said, “Don’t worry, nothing is going to happen.” The sounds stopped and it got eerily quiet. Then other sounds picked up. An owl hooting and something else. It sounded like low whispering! I was getting nervous and wanted to say it was a bad idea but I kept quiet. After a while, I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was morning. My friend was still up but he looked strange like he was scared. I asked what was wrong and he said nothing. The sun was up and we decided to do a little more fishing before heading out. Just as we were packing up our stuff, we heard a very loud sound of something crashing to the ground. I jumped and said, “What was that?!!” He said it was nothing and added, “Let’s go!” Did he experience something during the night? I don’t know but it was spooky and I would never do it again. I later found out that the place we were at used to be an Indian burial ground! Probably Cherokee because we were in Tennessee at the time.
I love camping but I wouldn’t do it nowadays. Those carefree days are done with and I know too much now to ever do something that dumb again. Anything could have happened but it didn’t and I’m thankful for that. Camping is fun but be prepared for the unexpected, good and bad!
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