It’s a Mean World (Archives)

Photo by travelers_tw on Pexels.com

Meanness exists in all forms and it is out there. However, I want to talk to you about the people you let into your inner circle, the ones who have been given direct access to you and the ones who have the opportunity to take aim and wreck havoc in your life. The ones who show you that meanness is not only out there in the world but that it is much closer to home and if given the chance, it can bring you down to your knees.

Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

There is so much truth in that one little quote. The problem is we see it, we know that it is not good for us but we keep hoping for change, hoping that the person will change for the better and show you something different but it never happens. Perhaps, it is in their DNA and change in any form will not be forthcoming. At times it is a bitter pill to swallow but still we hang on hoping for the best and all we get is the same old stuff or worse. It is time to do different.

The world is not made up of sugar and spice and all things nice. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. There are those who won’t hesitate to hurt you, play with your heart, those who will use their actions to show you how little you mean to them and there are those who will break you simply because they can.

“It’s hard to be nice when the rest of the world is so mean.” Sarah Dessen

Step out into the world knowing that not everyone is nice. Pay attention to what is being shown to you. Their actions will speak louder than words. Are they liars/cheaters? Did they show you that they are and later came up with excuses for their indiscretions? Excuses or not, they’ve shown you that you can’t trust them. Believe them and take it from there. A liar/cheater is someone who takes you lightly. If you had meant more to them, they wouldn’t have gone down that path of no return. If you’re thinking they’ll change, think again. Once a cheater always a cheater. It’s somehow wired into their DNA and each time they get away with it, they become more emboldened. Betrayers betray you when it suits them. You are the last thing on their mind when they decide to cheat. It’s all about them so remember that because giving them a second chance is like, “Setting yourself on fire to keep them warm.” Breaking a heart is not a small matter but it is to them. People who truly value you will not hurt you that way and that right there is the truth of the matter.

“You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.” Oprah Winfrey

Always remember your life is important. You are worthy of having good people around you and leave the mean ones out of the picture. The jealous types will make you feel like you’re guilty of doing something wrong all the time. Just because someone smiled at you, you’re at fault. If someone shows you attention, they go off the deep end. These types are insecure about themselves so everything you do is somehow not to their liking. You define your own life and stay away from these control freaks. You have nothing in common with them and love is not about control. You deserve a relationship where you can co-exist with mutual respect, love, tolerance and freedom. The freedom to be as you are. Write your own script and do it well. Get rid of all the things that do not serve you and move forward with confidence knowing that the right person is out there and waiting.

Work on finding the right people to help you build your world. The ones who will stand by you, add value to your life, be there when times are tough but most of all the ones who will show you through their actions that they are willing to make a mean world better by being the kind of people you deserve. Do not settle for anything less. Choose your friends carefully but more importantly guard your heart, know your worth and place boundaries where they need to be placed. It’s a mean world out there and not everyone is going to look out for you. You’ll have to learn if the people within your inner circle are destroyers or builders. Get rid of the destroyers, the ones who sap your energy, bring you down and are just fair-weather friends and hold onto the builders because they’re the ones who want to see you thrive and succeed in whatever you choose to do.

“It’s unfortunate because people have become so comfortable being mean.” Rachel Lindsay

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

LOL!

Photo by Nashua Volquez-Young on Pexels.com

A farmer stopped by a local mechanic shop…..

… to have his truck fixed.They thought it might have something to do with the transmission, so they couldn’t repair it while he waited.

He told the mechanics that he didn’t live far and would just walk home.On the way home, he stopped at a hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.

However, struggling outside the store, he now had a problem.How to carry his purchases home.Whilst he was scratching his head, he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.She asked, “can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane?” The farmer said, ‘well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to this house. I would walk you there, but I can’t carry this lot.” The old lady suggested, “why don’t you do this? Put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in the other hand.”

“Well, thank you very much.That works just fine,” he said, and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way, he said, “let’s take my usual shortcut and go down this alley.We’ll be there in no time.” The little old lady looked him over cautiously and said, “I’m a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.How do I know that when we get in the alleyway, you won’t have your wicked way with me?”

The farmer said with some irritation, “holy smokes, lady, I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens and a goose. How in the world would I do that?”

The old lady said, “well, set the goose down, cover him with a bucket, put a can of paint on top of the bucket and I’ll hold the bloody chickens.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Past or Future?

Photo by Katii Bishop on Pexels.com

I do both. Thinking about the past and the future is a must as far as I am concerned. The past helps me to see the future in a different light. There are lessons I have learned from my past and I know that I can put those lessons to good use in the future. Some people say, “The past is the past, leave it be.” I disagree, dwelling on it is one thing but knowing where you came from is another. The things you went through helped to shape the “now” you. One should not shut the door completely on the past but from time to time look back there to see the monumental strength it took to get to where you are now. I say, the past is important for all those reasons.

The future is something else altogether. It hasn’t happened yet so there is an element of surprise attached to it. Will it be good? Will it be bad? Questions we often ponder about but there are no answers yet. However, we have it in our hands to make it better than where we are at now. Working on yourself, planning, and looking towards the future with optimism all helps.

There are no guarantees in life. The past gives us “lessons” we don’t want to repeat and the future, well, it is looming in the distance but one thing is for sure, it will arrive sooner or later. I spend time thinking about both and it is not wasted time. It helps me to move forward from where I am at and to try and grasp the future with both hands! Not always possible but I am optimistic that when it does roll around, all will be well.

Fingers, toes, and everything else crossed!

Daily writing prompt
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
View all responses

Day 4 of 365!

Photo by Emilio Sánchez Hernández on Pexels.com

We’re into Day 4 and I can’t help but ask, didn’t we just get started? Anyway, the wind is howling like a banshee outside and snow is in the forecast again. No walk today so I’m getting my writing in. Lots of coffee is also on the agenda.

I’m planning what this year is going to look like for me. No, I don’t know for sure but I have control over a few ideas. Trying to get a second children’s book out is on the table but I’m not sure yet. I have been collaborating with a publisher, a different one from the last one I used. I’m not happy with them and someone else is willing to work with me. The problem is, I don’t know if I want to go through the stress again. It involves a lot of things and I wanted this year to be quieter. Like nothing much to do at all!

If I give the go ahead, it will mean many things. Working with illustrators, proofreading, book layout, audio version which involves picking out the right voice and so on. Hmm….sounds interesting but I haven’t made up my mind yet.

Working on me is an ongoing project. I made headway last year and saw major improvements to the point that I was called “complicated,” and “arrogant!” Oh well, so be it. I know what I want and I won’t settle for anything less so call me whatever. I learned that I’m a pushover, too nice, too accommodating, willing to bend over backwards to please people and so on. This year, I’m changing some of those negative traits. I want to be stronger, I will stand my ground and will walk away if something is not contributing to my well-being. It will take courage and focus to do that but I come armed and ready to do battle! Well, maybe not battle, just to be steadfast in what I want.

Health is on the agenda as well. This year I’m upping the workouts, looking for more ways to stay healthy, and working on showing the “stress monster” the door is also on the list of things to do. I’m not going to let little things rattle me and I’m going to breathe and let go as much as possible of things that don’t matter. Let’s see if this will work out. I have good intentions and that matters.

Yes, the new year is trying to take off in leaps and bounds, as it usually does.

“Make hay while the sun shines.”

I plan to do exactly that.

Have an amazing day.

The Greatest Gift Someone Could Give Me.

Photo by Karola G on Pexels.com

I would say it is love, the kind that is unconditional, the kind that doesn’t waver and beat around the bush, the kind that is steadfast, honest, loyal, and is ready to take care of my heart.

Finding it has been like looking for the needle in the haystack. Just when I think I’ve found it, it goes and shows me different! I gave up dating at the end of last year, and have decided to put some distance between “love” and the men who walk in parading themselves as the “one and only!”

This year, I’m opening up again, just a little. Several invites came in at the beginning of the week, most were not my type or they didn’t know what they were looking for. It usually started with, “I’ve been looking for someone like you,” or “I’m looking for my forever woman and you fit the bill!” Problem is, we haven’t even met.

I’m looking for that guy who knows what he wants and is ready to meet me halfway. Someone with a whole lot of integrity, loyalty, honesty, and add “unconditional love” to give and we may just hit it off! Until then, I’ve got my magnifying glasses on and discarding as I go along. I hope this year will bring something different but who knows. If it’s in the cards, that will be made clear in time.

Daily writing prompt
What is the greatest gift someone could give you?
View all responses

Standing Strong (Archives)

Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery on Pexels.com

Weakness is easy. It doesn’t take much to get you there. It could be brought about by the breakdown of a relationship or a situation in life that brings us to our knees. During those times, “weakness” will come around holding out its hands to us and more often than not we are more than willing to stay for awhile and wallow there in the darkness. Be very careful of weakness, it’s a false friend. It is inadequate, feeble, lacking in firmness and strength is not one of its attributes. Know when to let go and stand back up.

“We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it as not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Choose your lessons carefully. If you don’t want darkness than don’t stand in it. There are things that happen in life that we have no control over but there are the ones that we know exactly what we are getting into. For example, the people we choose to have relationships with knowing full well that we are headed for disaster from the get go or the things we shouldn’t do and yet it beckons and we go for it ignoring the consequences or choosing to go into the lion’s den knowing full well what is awaiting us there. Choose to stand in the light.

“If you want the light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining.” Guy Finley

Not always easy I know. Being strong when faced with adversity is not always doable. Being strong when standing in the dark and faced with the unknown is scary. Being strong when all you want to do is throw up your hands is one of the hardest things to do. I learned my hardest lessons not when things and situations were at their best but when they were at their most difficult. The lessons we learn when we are at our most vulnerable are the ones that help us as we make our way through life and the ones that help to shore us up for the lessons to come. The ones that teach us we are not breakable but pliable and like that tree that moves and bends as the wind picks up, we too are fully capable of handling whatever life throws our way.

“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” Bob Marley

Have an amazing day.

My Education? (Archives)

Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev on Pexels.com

Wow, I think before I get through these daily prompts, my whole life will be out there on display!

Let’s see, I studied Journalism and later went into Education because journalism required that I finish articles or reports at a given time span and it was too much pressure for me and it also took the fun out of writing. I love writing but I wanted to do it at my own pace so I backed out of doing it full-time.

I didn’t give up on writing altogether. I kept at it by writing freelance articles, writing for a fashion magazine, writing for a political website and published a book. When all is said and done, writing is still my first love only not the pressurized variety. These days I take it at my own pace and write about whatever I want and that I find brings out the best in me and my writing.

Colleges I attended? That’s for me to know and for you to find out.

Daily writing prompt
What colleges have you attended?
View all responses

A Gorgeous Day!

Photo by Maria Orlova on Pexels.com

They’ve been talking about snow and freezing rain for the last couple of days and it never arrived. This morning, however, I noticed that Chachi, the cat was mesmerized as he stood by the window and kept looking back at me.

ME: “TV not working again Chachi?”

HIM: “You’ve got to see this mommy! It is BEAUTIFUL!”

It was. Snow had arrived in the middle of the night and it was a white world out there. The roofs were covered in white and so were the streets. I knew that I needed to bundle up and go out there to salt the sidewalk so that no one will slip and fall. It is tedious work but it’s a must over here and it is expected that you do what is necessary to keep the street safe and clear of any hazards.

After breakfast, I put on my boots, my thick jacket, and headed out with a big bowl filled with salt. The ground beneath felt crunchy and that signaled “ice” mixed with snow. It was dangerous because it is easy to slip and to take a fall. I did my duty and made sure my portion of the sidewalk was nice, clean, and salted.

Then it was time to do my morning walk. The sun was up and about and it looked like it was going to be gorgeous day albeit a little cold because the wind was picking up speed and playing havoc with the trees. I decided that I needed out in the open to clear my mind.

The fields were covered in white and the trees were frosted like straight out of a picture postcard! It was a beautiful sight. Still, it was colder than I expected. Not a single thing, neither man nor beast, was moving out there. I took my usual route watching as I stepped because the rock covered pathway was slippery. Some parts had puddles of water frozen in place and others covered in a mixture of snow and ice.

I gave my mind free rein and watched as it took off, leaving me to walk quietly and deep in thought. I usually think a lot about different things while walking hoping that the open spaces and nature will do its thing and give me some answers. Today, it was no different. I got some solutions and one of them was to break the problems down into smaller and more manageable portions. Solve one problem at a time. I’ve been running with all of them, facing me in all directions until it became overwhelming and hard to manage.

MESSAGE TO SELF: Work on solving things, one problem at a time.

Good. I plan to do just that. The walk was fantastic and the view gorgeous! I came back with a freezing nose but it was exhilarating. I love winter days. Time for a cup of hot coffee and to get moving on with the day.

Have an amazing day.

Letting Go

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite on Pexels.com

I’ve written about letting go before but this time it is about letting go of adult children. It is interesting how they come into your life and turn your world upside down from the first moment you hear that cry, that helpless cry which signals for you to step in and take over as their protector and their safe zone. However, as they start to grow, life becomes a series of letting go.

“Letting go of adult children involves trusting your parenting, allowing them to make mistakes for growth, setting healthy boundaries, and shifting from directing to supporting.”

I’ve been grappling with the idea of “letting go” ever since my son got the news shortly before Christmas that he got the job he has been dreaming of. I couldn’t have been prouder as he stood there wearing the “cat who swallowed the cream” look and gave me the news. I was PROUD but a day later, I found myself gasping for air. The move would mean he would be four hours away, an eternity to me. Even though university was two hours away and I went from, “I can’t!” to I will survive this. I did. However, there were days when my anxiety took over and I had to talk myself down from the tree I was on. I needed to believe that he would be alright but it was hard to do. Somehow I made it through.

“As a parent, you quickly realize that life is one long series of letting go: watching your kid crawl, then walk, then run, and then drive away.” Deborah Mitchell

The papers are there, he will have to make a decision soon and then it will happen whether I want it to or not. Part of me wants him with me but he is no longer a child, he is a young man getting ready to fly. He is looking forward to a new life and even though the unknown is scary, I sense that he is ready to go.

“Raising your child well is hard. But learning to let them go out into the world and prove that you did your job right is even tougher.” J. Crane

It is TOUGH! We had a long talk yesterday and I see this young man who thinks he has the world in the palms of his hands and he is ready to show the world that he is capable, strong, and ready to rumble! I still see my baby. I guess I always will.

“There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.” Hodding Carter, Jr.

AND

“Loving your adult children means letting them grow, stumble, and soar on their own terms. Independence is their gift to themselves – and your gift to them.” Unknown

I KNOW that when the time comes and I have to let him go again, I will. Until then, I will talk myself into letting him go knowing that he has the wings he needs and I will be the wind under them if ever he needs me.

I’ve taught him well and it is time to fly even if my heart wants to hold a little tighter for just a little while longer.

“Being a good parent requires knowing when to push & when to back off when to help & when to let them make mistakes & then being strong enough to watch them go.” Unknown

I wish you well.