I would compare myself to a cat. Why? I seem to have an affinity with and for them and I see their qualities reflected back in me.
First of all, I don’t just see them as animals. Chachi, the cat, is my constant companion, my baby, and a confidante of sorts. He is quiet, introspective, independent, loves his alone time and affectionate but on his own terms. Exactly the way I am. He loves working out, yes working out, and joins me when I start my workouts. Nature is his preoccupation and he loves spending time at the big window in the kitchen watching life go by and since he is not an outdoor cat, it’s the best part of his day. We have a connection to nature in that respect.
We love to cuddle and we talk to each other, well I talk and he meows. The little things make us happy and life as we know it is on an even keel and that is how we like it. Hygiene is of the utmost importance, his is to fastidiously clean himself both morning and nights and sometimes in between as well! I ditto that concept. Cleanliness is next to Godliness as they say and cats are incredibly clean creatures.
Finally, we don’t like to be touched unnecessarily. Hands off is my stance and it is the same with him. However, he has a harder time saying no since I pick him up and shower kisses whenever I feel like it and he puts up with it even if at times he shows disdain for this “human” showing affection thing! We are connected in so many ways and we are at peace in each other’s company and sometimes I have this feeling that I used to be a CAT in a former lifetime! Perhaps that’s the connection between us.
Daily writing prompt
Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?
“We explain when someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you do not stoop to their level. Our motto is when they go low, you go high.” Michelle Obama
I loved this quote but it does not always work.
Desmond Tutu said it better.
“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”
Bullying is defined as, “behavior directed toward one or more individuals that is meant to insult, demean, or intimidate.” BetterHelp
We saw bullying of the highest order being played out on the world stage by the current occupant of the White House not too long ago. Bullying is and was his weapon to get what he wants. Playing “king” and telling the world how the game is played is his megaphone and he decided to “Huff, Puff and Blow the House Down!” like the Big Bad Wolf in the fable, “The Three Little Pigs.” The wolf did his damnedest but the third pig gave him a run for the money just like Canada is doing right now. Their motto is, “United We Stand, Divided We Fall,” and it seems to be working. Bullies may roar and act like they have the upper hand but when you stand up to them, they run off and hide. However, there are the diehards whose only goal in life is to bring someone down. There are different types of bullying. “Physical bullying is when bullies hurt their targets physically. Verbal bullying is taunting or teasing someone. Psychological bullying is gossiping about or excluding someone and Cyberbullying is when bullies use the internet and social media and say things they might not say in person.” (kidshealth.org)
I met my bully in elementary school. She was tiny, dirty-looking and her clothes were torn and tattered. I held out my hand with a smile and said “Hello.” The next thing I knew I was on the ground writhing in pain. She stood over me grinning as she stood shaking her fist at me, the same one that had caused such severe pain. She put the fear of the devil in me that day and it would go on for weeks to come.
Playing on the grassy slope became a nightmare situation, waiting for the schoolbus after school was more so and going to the bathroom more than a nightmare. I didn’t understand why she was picking on me only that I was no longer safe. I came up with all kinds of excuses to stay home but that didn’t work. A few weeks later I had enough. It was time to do something! She showed up as usual, a knowing smile plastered on her face but I was prepared this time. Just as she reached out to push me down the slope, I turned the table on her. I pushed as hard as I could and watched as she tumbled down the slope. As she stood up, I noticed blood dribbling down her chin and a front tooth was missing! She looked at me with disbelief but there was something more. The next day she showed up on that slope with new found respect on her face. I apologized and it was the start of an unlikely friendship. Her mom had passed away and she was left on her own most days. She also had to help with household chores and even do the cooking at times. A life so different from mine. I still had my childhood before me but hers was hanging in the balance. We remained friends until I moved away but I still think about her sometimes and wonder if she made it in life. I hope she did.
How do you deal with bullies?
Talk to someone about what is going on.
Ignore the bully and walk away.
Walk tall and hold your head high.
Stop being too nice!
Don’t get physical. This worked for me but not always.
Try to talk to the bully.
Practice confidence and fake it if you have to!
Bullies are everywhere as we saw not so long ago and they could come from the highest office in the land as well. It takes more than guts to stand up to a bully. Sometimes it takes cunning and inner strength to weather the storm as Canada is doing right now. Pick and choose your battle carefully, learn what it takes to stand up for your rights and hold your head up high. Confidence is a “bully” buster in more ways than one!
“Confidence is not “They will like me,” confidence is I will be fine if they don’t.” Christina Grimmie
You are not born with confidence, it is a process that gets stronger with time and it is also something that is learned and developed over time. However, it is not easy to build confidence especially if the environment you’re in or the challenges you face is working against you.
It’s a skill set which combines the thoughts we think and the actions we take and in order for it to work to your advantage, you have to believe in yourself and your abilities. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, then it goes without saying that your confidence and self-esteem will take a hit.
If you want to develop confidence, you first have to believe in yourself. Then you have to accept yourself as you are, this includes the good, the bad and the ugly parts. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and get comfortable with both. Now, improve on what you can improve. However, set realistic goals, ones that you can work towards achieving which in turn will boost your confidence.
One important aspect is to surround yourself with positive and supportive people because negative ones will drain your energy and drive you further down that rabbit hole.
“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” Helen Keller
An interesting quote and one that speaks to the heart of the matter. I think it’s 90% how you come across and 10% of the other stuff. If you can fake it by standing up tall, looking people in the eye and making an entrance like, “God sent you!” that’s more than half the battle won right there. Of course, there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. The latter is an overinflated sense of self-importance and “confidence” a healthy belief in yourself. Arrogance leads to outcomes you don’t want especially if you’re trying to build your confidence.
Start by loving yourself flaws and all. So what if you’re not perfect, most of us aren’t. Perfection isn’t everything but building on what you already possess is. A long time ago, I walked into a hall and I saw this stunning girl. She was pure perfection from the top of her head to the very soles of her feet. As I watched her, I realized that she was sorely lacking in one human trait. The smile was missing from her face and she was pure “arrogance” in a stunning package which took away from her attractiveness. So if you’re thinking the “attractive people” have it made, it is not necessarily the truth.
“Every time you catch yourself criticizing yourself, think of something you love about yourself.” Unknown
Confidence is necessary to achieve success. Confident people take risks and push themselves to achieve their goals. Here’s the thing, the more confident you are, the more likely you’re able to attract positive experiences which in turn makes your world a better place. More importantly, confidence helps you to handle failure better because you know that it is an opportunity to learn and grow and not something that is going to destroy your life.
It’s OKAY
To make mistakes.
To have bad days.
To be less than perfect.
To do what’s best for you.
To be yourself. ( Unknown)
Finally, work that confidence! The more you practice and use it, the stronger it gets and smile while you’re doing it!
“Inhale confidence, exhale doubt.” Alex Toussaint
AND
“Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do. and at some point, you will.” Venus Williams
If I had to write a letter to my 100-year-old self, I would say you made it to the impossible! I didn’t think you would make it to such a grand old age and never wanted to but here you are and here goes…..
Dear Self,
First of all, you are looking good in spite of the wrinkles, the bald spot and the toothless grin! The outward appearance doesn’t signify the inside. There is tremendous wisdom within that years of living “life” has instilled. You are no longer afraid and fear has taken a back seat and in its place is a sense of peace, calm and joy. It took a long time getting there but you made it. I see a person who is frail but the frailty is just the appearance and doesn’t speak for the person within.
You lived a life filled with challenges and took each one as it came and mastered it or maybe not mastered it but you did the best you could with it. You never gave up and that my dear 100-year-old self speaks to who you are. You are strong, you are capable and like the tree in the storm you bent when you needed to and you swayed when you needed to but you never broke. If you did break at some point, you put yourself back together again and stood back up stronger and more beautiful than ever. Looking at you I don’t see what age has done to you but I see the beauty within, the strength within and a spirit that refuses to be broken even now.
Here’s to you, may you live a long and peaceful life and if it means another 100 added on than so be it. You can weather whatever comes your way.
“Recognize your own worth and you won’t be drawn to those who don’t see it.” Doe Zantamata
According to medium.com, “Your value is directly linked to your belief. If you treat yourself like garbage, you’ll never appreciate your potential.”
It’s interesting how many of us walk into relationships expecting the other person to validate us in some way. We look to them to make us feel wanted, to feel loved, to feel that we are worthy and to make us feel special. Basically we hand over our power and energy to that person and wait to get reimbursed. When it doesn’t happen, we find ourselves in a dark place and beat ourselves down to a pulp.
The truth is, self-worth is your sense of self, your values and your belief that you are worthy of care, support and compassion. It basically means you value yourself enough to know the boundaries and limits and what you’ll accept and what you won’t. It is that feeling within you that says you are worthy and deserving of the right kind of love and that there is a balance in the relationship. If you’ve been doing the chasing and you’re the only one investing in the relationship with your time, energy and efforts and you are not getting or getting next to nothing in return, then it’s time to reevaluate and to take a good hard look at your self-worth. How much is it worth?
“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor
If your self-worth is lacking, here are some strategies to improve it from the people in the know. (verywellmind.com)
Do things you enjoy and are good at:
These help to reinforce your strengths and abilities and can make you more confident.
Exercise and challenge yourself:
Physical activity is linked to a greater sense of self-worth. It also helps to recalibrate your mindset and offers both physical and mental benefits.
Challenge negative thoughts:
Thoughts are not facts. Next time you have a negative self-thought, think of an alternative realistic thought to replace it.
Be kind to yourself.
Learn to be assertive.
Start saying “no!” I have to learn this one myself.
Focus on the positive.
It is important to have a healthy sense of self-worth because loving, respecting and valuing yourself starts with you. It is the first step towards gaining the same from others.
“Once you discover your true worth, walking away from where you are not valued will become the easiest hard thing you will ever do.” Unknown
If they don’t see you as valuable then don’t try to convince them. Remember the only person you need validation from is you. You are enough as you are, you are worthy, you deserve respect, your well-being matters and so does your emotional health. Work on your self-worth and you’ll start attracting the right kind of people, the kind who will respect your worth.
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.” Unknown
AND
“Know your worth and then make sure to add tax.” Unknown
I love this place about two villages away from where I live. It is about a 30 minute drive to get there but it is well-worth the time and effort and a fantastic place to shop till you drop or just to window-shop. They call it the shopping mile where the “rich” go to spend their money but not all who shop there are rich or have money to blow.
It is a place where they have everything you need and much much more. I love the ambience. The architecture is interesting and there are shops galore. The street is lined on both sides with cafes, restaurants, shops and street musicians who add a musical touch to the whole scene. A great place to spend a morning, afternoon or the whole day if you wanted to. A castle is nestled close by and it is a calming place to just sit and watch the swans go gliding by on the pond.
I used to go crazy over the clothes but since I am no longer a clothes horse it holds no power over me. However, the weekly markets are the best. Everything comes fresh from the farmers and fruits and vegetables of every kind adorn the tables ready to be whisked away! It is a great place to buy something expensive or just to browse, stop at a street side cafe and enjoy watching the people go by. A meal at one of the restaurants is also a great option. My favorite is an Indian restaurant where they serve a pancake filled with savory potatoes. Heavenly is the word for it.
I don’t spend as much money as I used to so shopping sprees are few and far between but when I do, it is of the mundane variety. Just on food items and of course fruits and veggies are on the priority list.
If you’ve read my posts, I always end with, “Have an amazing day.” I truly mean that sentiment but a friend recently echoed it by saying, I’ll end this conversation with what you always say, “Have an amazing day.” It felt good to hear it from someone else’s lips and it sent joy gushing through my body. However, it also started my thought processes going. No surprise there, I am an overthinker!
What does it mean to have an amazing day? It’s a day free of worries, a day free of something weighing you down like an albatross around your neck, a day filled with sunshine and smiles but most of all I think it is a day where everything is possible and nothing is impossible.
I usually wake up wanting an amazing day in front of me but it doesn’t always work that way. Life steps in and sometimes things go downhill but that is alright too.
“You’re only human. You don’t have to have it together every minute of every day.” Anne Hathaway
I woke up this morning looking forward to a brand new day. A blank slate was staring me in the face and I could write whatever I wanted to on it. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and Chachi, the cat, was purring softly in my ear. I AM GRATEFUL for all that makes up my life, the good, the bad and the ugly. Life is not always just about the good stuff. It would be boring if it was. It is a kaleidoscope of possibilities, new beginnings, letting go of things that have outlived their purpose and of embracing what is to come and the unknown is a part of that equation.
Today will be an “amazing day” and I wish you the same.
“Just in case…..no one has told you today. YOU are amazing! Have a really great day.” Unknown
Staying calm and focused when your mind tells you otherwise is normal. It is human nature. My mind goes haywire and jumps around like a monkey when I’m stressed or I have to concentrate on what is before me and what needs to get done. Oftentimes I need to take a step back, go within myself to find the strength in silence and to focus on what I need to do to move on. It doesn’t always work but it does work if I stay focused.
“The ability to remain calm and focused on what truly matters is a superpower.” Unknown
Be like the tree that has weathered many storms and is still standing. It takes practice and a certain kind of mindset to weather a storm, any storm. If you’ve never worked a day in your life and the time has come to find a job, to get independent and to stand on your own two feet, you tend to lose focus because the unknown is formidable. However, with each fall you take, you gain the strength and the know how to get back up and to keep moving. Time, focus, calm and lots of practice makes it possible and soon you will be standing like that tree, strong and unshakeable in any storm. Breathe and keep moving. Standing still is never the answer.
“Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. C. Lourie
Stay focused but not on the wrong things. I can’t do this is not one of them. This is way too scary is not one of them. The ‘monster’ is too hard to slay is not one of them. Focus on finding the positive within the negative. Be prepared to put one foot in front of the other but whatever you do, do not take the easy way out or rather the coward’s way out and give up. It is easy to give up but much harder to step into an unknown arena and to win the day. YOU CAN DO THIS!
“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breathe and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are. You got this.” Unknown
Finally, tell the monkey in your brain that keeps dragging you all over the place with no end in sight to take a hike! Breathe, calm yourself down and stay focused on what you need to do to make it. YOU’VE GOT THIS!
Oh God!! Another one of those questions I think goes deeper than I want to answer. First of all I never paid much attention to my middle name, it is stuck between my first and last name and that’s about it.
It’s there, it has been there and will continue to be, that’s the significance. Do I like it? I couldn’t give a flying flip about it. I never liked my first name but I didn’t have a choice in the matter, it was left up to two people who at the time looked at me with love and decided, we’ll call her TIA! The middle name was of lesser significance so they came up with something imaginative according to them.
Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m not looking at both with a magnifying glass. I’m happy with both my names, one to a lesser extent than the other, but if I had a chance I would like to have a name that grabs attention. What? I don’t know. Maybe Christine. My sister is called Christine and I used to envy that. Oh well, it’s done and I’m stuck with it.
Daily writing prompt
What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?
“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.” Nishan Panwar
My son asked me recently, “Mom why do you still worry about me? I’ve been on my own for some time now.”
It’s true. He moved away to finish his studies and has been on his own and managing whatever he needed to do single-handedly.
My answer to that question: “I’ll always worry about you no matter how old you get.”
He is now on the cusp of starting another chapter in his life. Studies are over and his first job is waiting on the horizon. It means moving to wherever the job is and starting out with no safety net beneath him. It also means learning to fly on his own and to take care of whatever comes his way. I know he is fully capable of doing the unknown. He showed us recently just how capable he is. There were days of uncertainty and not knowing which way to go. How to get started when “no job experience” was staring him in the face. Most of all he was afraid of taking that all important step of cutting ties with two people who had always been there for him. Just like the baby bird learning to fly he had to move slowly but move he must. There was no other way.
He got rejections that is part and parcel of the process. Shaking it off like water off a duck’s back wasn’t easy but he did it. Suddenly he got his first job interview. It was nerve-wracking but he handled it well. The job was his if he wanted it! However, it wasn’t what he wanted although it paid well. His reply, “I’m not that type,” meaning the job demanded more than what he was willing to put in. He knew himself well. It was off to another job interview. He made it through with flying colors and was offered a two day trial period. He slayed the dragon! The second and final interview was yesterday. He went there like a lamb to the slaughter only to find that he had landed the job! He has his first job in the bag. Looming on the horizon is another job interview, this one could be the “forever” job. The interview date is set and he will show up for it. It will take him further away and I told myself I couldn’t handle the distance but I know and he knows that we’ve handled much more than distance in our lives. We will somehow handle this too.
The little boy whose hands I held as a young child is getting ready to take life by the horns and he is getting ready to go it alone. Part of me can’t believe this is happening and the other part is learning to let him go, to let him fly, to go where he needs to and to live life to the fullest. I am so proud of him although I still see him as the little boy he was, not this grown-up young man as he is now. I will still be the wind beneath his wings and I will cheer him on from the sidelines as I have done all these years. He knows I am his ally and his staunchest supporter and that will never change but my voice will be quieter now as he learns to listen to his own.
Just one little bit of advice. I’ll pass it on to you as my mom did a long time ago when I was getting ready to fly. She said, “If you fall down, stand back up, dust yourself off and keep on moving.” Words of wisdom that has stood the test of time in my life. Always remember failure is not an option. You are built to succeed and you will, come hell or high water. One more thing, YOU CAN DO THIS!
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