Mental health – Page 11

THE ONE (Archives)

“As you awaken, you will come to understand that the journey to love isn’t about finding “THE ONE” the journey is about becoming “THE ONE.” Craig Crippen

Ever since I started putting myself back in the dating circle, I’ve asked this question over and over again. How do I spot “The One?” Will he stand out like a sore thumb or will our paths cross and sparks would fly? The answer surprisingly is you’ll have to look, decipher and discard as you go along to find that one special person. Love like in the movies is for the make-believe theater. Real life is something else.

However, he’s NOT the one if he takes you for granted.

He’s not the one if he enjoys cutting you down to size because it makes him feel good.

He’s definitely not the one if anger is part of his DNA and he goes on a rage fest every chance he gets.

He’s not the one if your feelings do not matter to him.

He’s not the one if he’s hung up on someone else and you are just a substitute.

He’s not the one if he doesn’t take the opportunity to show you how much he cares.

He’s definitely not the one if he doesn’t spoil you!

He’s definitely not the one if he loves you one minute and walks off when someone else catches his fancy.

He’s not the one if being a “woman” in his books means you are the weaker sex.

He’s not the one if he looks down on you. Nope, definitely not the ONE!

He’s not the one if there isn’t tingling in your cells when he touches you.

He’s definitely not the one if he makes you question your self-worth.

He’s not the one if spending time with you is a chore and not a priority.

On the other hand….

IF HE IS THE ONE….

You’ll never have to question

who he chooses because it will be you every day.

He will be the support that you’ve prayed for, the fantasy that you thought only existed in movies and the friend that will never leave your side.

He will love you, flaws and all, & even past any pain that you’ve ever experienced. He will be intentional about his efforts.

If he’s the one,

you’ll know that you’re a priority,

not a backup plan. Unknown

And folks that will show you a clear cut path to true love, at least I hope so!

Have an amazing day.

A Rainy Day

“Sometimes you just need to feel the rain. Let it beat upon your face, cleanse your soul and free your spirit!” Unknown

I want to dance in it like I used to as a young girl lost in a carefree world but since I’m a grown-up or rather older and wiser, I’m watching it from my kitchen window coffee mug in hand mesmerized by the steady drumming on the rooftops. It’s a soft drizzle enough to wet the ground and to give the plant life the much needed relief it needs from days of heat and no rain.

Two blackbirds are dancing out there as they move from tree to tree and they seem to be having fun. I’d love to be out there with them twirling on my toes, arms held out like some ethereal being as I let the softness of rain wash away the hardness of living. Nature has a way of taking away the rough edges that life puts around us, it has a way of mellowing and blurring, just like the day is doing out there today.

There is none of the harshness of a hot sun, the parched ground is being fed again and the soft steady drizzle of rain is doing a mighty fine job of soothing my inner being. I love rain, always have, not the ones filled with thunder and slashes of lightning but this soft variety that seems to be murmuring to my soul, washing away the cobwebs that have been gathering there the last few days and erasing and cleansing my spirit as I twirl and dance in my mind’s eye, a young girl once again lost in the magic of nature’s way.

“Rain is nature’s way of adding a little soul to life.” Unknown

Have an amazing and magical day.

Where Are You Going?

Do you know? Do you know where your next destination is? Do you have a plan in mind? Or are you thinking, I’ll take whatever comes my way? Here’s the problem.

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” Lewis Carroll

Is that where you want to go? Just anywhere? I think you want better just as I do. Any road is not going to take me to where I want to go. I want better, I want better than what I left behind and I KNOW where I want to go. Having a destination matters and even if it’s not clear as it should be, having a plan, albeit a vague one, helps you to get moving towards your goal.

“If you don’t know where you’re going, how are you going to get there.” Unknown

Good question but often we are caught between the past and the future. We have one foot in yesterday, or maybe for some of us both feet back there, and we’re pretending like we’re moving on when in actuality we are staying put where we are, holding on to the memories and mistakes of yesterday. You can’t move on when you keep looking at that closed door. It’s not going to open and if by chance it does open, it will bring more of the same because it hasn’t changed but it has the power to hold you captive for a long, long time.

“Each season of your life is here to help you write a different part of your story. Stop living inside past chapters.

You’ve learned lessons and you’re better for them. Honor where you are and soak up everything this season has to offer you.” Unknown

Each season has something to offer but you’ve got to keep moving to find out what is waiting for you in the next one. So, where are you headed today? Are headed somewhere nice or are your feet moving forward but you’re eyes are trained back to where you came from? Letting go is not as simple as it seems. You can say, “I let go,” but really doing it is another thing altogether. Been there, done that, and still doing it! Only you can do the act of “letting go” and only you know when the right time is for you. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. They are not walking in your shoes. Take your time but do it. Moving forward and letting go of the past requires that one monumental step, that of closing the chapter behind you.

“Keep going, because the best is yet to come.

Keep going, because you’re stronger than you think you are.

Keep going, because every step forward brings you one step closer to your goals.

Keep going, because you deserve to see what happens when all of your hard work pays off.”

Have an amazing day, breathe and keep moving forward.

Rise Up and Stand Tall

“Every morning you have two choices; continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them.” Carmelo Anthony

I’ve found that it’s easy to stay where you’re at. It doesn’t take much effort and it is comforting. You can mope, scream at whoever wants to listen and sometimes look for someone to blame for all your woes but what does that bring you? You’re not going anywhere if you stay put. It takes strength to stand back up. It takes courage to fight the battle and it takes the fire within you to keep on going. There were times when I wanted the world to go away and to leave me be. Let me wallow in misery was what I screamed but when all was said and done, I stood back up as I have done many times before. It takes putting one foot in front of the other and to just keep moving. I didn’t know where I was going, I only knew that I couldn’t stay where I was.

“It’s ok if you fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire.” Unknown

One thing is for sure, standing back up is not for the weak of heart but there is no other choice. You can claw your way back up, grasp at a helping hand to give you the boost you need or you can do it on your own. Whichever way you choose, there is only one way to go. Rise up and stand tall. It’s scary I know and it takes superhuman strength to move even an inch at times and that rabbit hole is inviting. If truth be told, it is not a permanent solution. If you want to feel the light back on your face again, you’ve got to move. You are fully capable of doing it.

“Do not forget who you are and where you come from. You are made of the brightest stars and the widest oceans. You are made of the highest mountains and the tallest trees. You are made of magic and dreams, wishes and light. You have heroes, warriors, kings, queens, gods and goddesses flowing through your veins. You come from infinite possibilities and incredible odds. You are here for a reason.” Nikki Banas

Make that reason count. You, my friend, are invincible. There is magic within you and that wand you hold in your hand, invisible though it may be, it has the power to change your life. Put it to good use and don’t give that rabbit hole a second look, it’s a thing of the past. You are meant for bigger and better things. You are powerful, you are beautiful and you are enough as you are.

“Fall seven times, stand up eight, and with each rise, you’ll find your strength will multiply.” Unknown

Have an amazing and powerful day.

Idolizing Reality

Photo by Natasha Fernandez on Pexels.com

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” Dita von Teese

What does idolizing reality really mean? It is “the act of putting a person, relationship, or situation on a pedestal, holding it to an unrealistic standard, and often becoming overly attached to it.”

How often have you cried over split milk? More times than you can remember? More appropriately, have you put that person on a pedestal, one they didn’t belong on, weeping a waterfall over the no-good, two-timing you know what. I know I have. I’ve cried a waterfall and more over that cheating ex of mine not because he was the best thing that ever happened to me but because I had single-handedly put him on a pedestal he didn’t deserve. Yes, we idolize reality and how!

“It’s so easy to get wrapped up in idolizing the relationship once it’s ended.

But in reality, the relationship had problems.

It was not meant to last – otherwise it would have.” Unknown

Idolizing reality can be a bad thing and it often is. It can take years to let go of the perception that you can’t do better. Sometimes blaming yourself for what went down but if you step back and look at it carefully, dissect it piece by piece, you’ll find exactly this. The person was sorely lacking in all that you were looking for. It would have been a lot easier if you could have flipped that light switch and moved on but as humans, we have a hard time doing that. Perhaps, idolizing that relationship gives us an out instead of, “How could I have been so gullible?”

“My life dramatically improved when I started seeing people for who they are plus what they’ve shown me, instead of romanticizing about what they could be.” Unknown

Elbert Einstein had this say: “To invent something, all you need is imagination and a big pile of junk.”

He nailed it on the head, didn’t he? We have imagination and for some of us it’s on overdrive and it often takes us places we don’t want to go. It keeps us there because we don’t see it as “junk” but as the next best thing to sliced bread. Therein lies the problem. It’s time to clean house, get your perspectives right and shut the door tightly behind you. Even a minute spent on “idolizing” that kind of reality is too much.

Note to Self:

“Happiness is letting go of what you assume your life is supposed to be like right now, and sincerely appreciating it for everything that it is. So, RELAX. You are enough. You have enough. You do enough. Breathe deep….let go, and just live right now in the moment.” Unknown

While you’re doing that, give all the things you’re holding on to like how great he was, he didn’t mean it, he made a mistake and most importantly, “I can’t find another someone like him,” a boot out the door! You’ll find someone better. Trust and believe that you will AND do the work to get you there. Yes, it takes work but it’s better than “idolizing” that sod as the Brits would say.

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

Husband: “Shall we try a different position tonight?”

Wife: “That’s a good idea. Why don’t you stand by the sink and do the dishes, and I’ll sit on the sofa and watch TV?”

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At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth,” even when you don’t know anything.

The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, “Then come give your father a big hug.”

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”

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A wife asked her car enthusiast husband what he wanted for Christmas. He replies, “Something that goes from zero to 220 in three seconds.”

On Christmas, he unwrapped a bathroom scale.

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A wife told her husband, “Go out and get something that makes me look sexy.”

He went out and came back drunk.

How do you think that went?

The Little Things

“Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to accomplish something big, that we fail to notice the little things that give life its magic.” Unknown

The “little things” or rather appreciating those seemingly minor or unimportant moments that go to make up life is of minute importance but they are important so today I’m going to concentrate on them and give them the credit they deserve.

The cooing of the pigeons usually irritates me but this morning I’ve decided to let it fly over my head! It has been said that pigeons coo in the mornings, “to communicate with each other, often to attract mates or to defend their territory.” Nice, but I’m not going to get on the rooftop to “attract my mate!” He’s on the way so I’ll let him take his time getting here.

In the meantime, the hot cup of coffee is soothing and the song of the blackbirds out there is like a symphony in my head. Chachi, the cat, stretched out in front of the fan and cooling himself off brings a smile to my face. We’re smack dap in the middle of a heatwave and nothing is helping. Not showers, not roomy t-shirts and not even flip-flops! Nothing much anyone can do but to make the best of it. The Dyson fan is doing a great job of keeping things cool and that is one of the little things.

“I try to find a reason to laugh each day. Somehow, if you can incorporate laughter into your day, everyday, it really helps. It’s the little things in life that make me happy.” Faith Hill

I truly believe in the soothing qualities of laughter. Chachi helps me in that respect. His wobbly gait as he chases a lone fly that had somehow survived the night and is now on his radar makes me laugh. I know that it’s just a matter of time before it too meets its maker!

Note to Self: Cut back on feeding the fly catcher!

A text message saying, “Good morning and have a wonderful week,” puts a smile on my face. It came early but he’s caring that way. Just something small, not a big, gorgeous bouquet of flowers but something small to say, I’m thinking of you,” and it was enough to put a different spin on my day.

The news is droning on in the background. Nothing much is happening and news of Trump and his antics makes me want to roll my eyes and do a heave ho but NOT today. I’m about the “little things” today. Things that bring joy, things that I take for granted and things that show me that life is made up of those little things. Pay attention to them for they have the ability to change your mood, to lighten your load and to put a smile on your face.

What about the big things? They’re there but somehow in the grand scheme of things, they don’t matter as much in the here and now.

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” Robert Brault

AND

“It’s the little things that usually have the greatest impact in life.

A smile, a hug, a thank you and a compliment.” Unknown

Exactly what I’m going to focus and concentrate on today.

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.

“My darling Becky,” he whispered.

“Hush, my love,” she said. “Rest, shhh don’t talk.”

He was insistent. “Becky,” he said in his tired voice. “I…..I have something I must confess to you.”

“There’s nothing to confress,” replied the weeping Becky. “Everything’s all right, go to sleep.”

“No, no…I must die in peace. Becky….I….slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!”

“I know…” Becky whispered softly. “That’s why I poisoned you.”

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

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John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.

“Would you like a new mink coat?” he asks.

“Not really,” says Mary.

“Well, how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John.

“No,” she responds.

“What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests.

She again rejects his offer with a, “No, thanks.”

“Well, what would you like for your anniversary?” John asks.

“John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary.

“Sorry, I wasn’t planning to spend that much,” says John.

Hmm……

Downtime

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

“How long will my DOWNTIME be?” Unknown

I don’t know folks but I’m down for the count! It started two days ago, just a feeling of lethargy, taking naps in the afternoons which I never do and my body telling me all is not well.

I’m healthy most days so I don’t take such feelings seriously, just a glitch in my paradigm and all will be alright again. However, it had no intention of leaving. Whatever was ailing me had every intention of staying and it wasn’t going to take “NO” for an answer.

This morning I woke up with a slight sorethroat and a feeling that something was taking hold. Soup! That was the first thing that popped into my mind. It was my mom’s go to for colds, stomachaches and everything else and it usually worked fine. I’ve got a big pot going, enough to last a few days and I added spinach to ward off whatever had taken hold. If it worked for Popeye, it should work for me right? Afterall, spinach has been promoted as a source of strength and good health. Well, it shouldn’t hurt and that’s the point here.

The sun is shining out there but I’m bundled up like a “snow bunny.” Mom used to say, “Sweat it out!” She meant the bacteria or rather the germs or she must have known about the Native American sweat lodges which were used for healing and spiritual cleansing. Anyway, her method worked before and I’m throwing it in for good measure. So, I’m covered from head to toe and Chachi, the cat is giving me strange looks. “She’s frightening!!” is what those looks say. I don’t give a flying flip is my answer. I get grumpy when I’m not feeling well.

Anyway, I’ve got an, “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and I’m crawling back into bed! Chachi doesn’t understand this at all. “We just got up mommy! I can’t believe this!” Whatever, I’m not letting things bug me either and that includes little fur ball!

Have an amazing day.

This Thing Called Love (4)

THE HUNTER:

I’ve written about the different types of men you’ll encounter on dating portals in several of my posts. The narcissists, the players, the control freaks, the users, the sugar daddies and such, but there is one more and I call him the hunter.

Someone who uses the “hunter” behavior is proactive in starting relationships. If they are interested in you, they’ll initiate the chase. Their goal is to win over their potential prey and they’ll go to great lengths to make sure it happens. They’ll use everything in their arsenal and this includes nice dinners, gifts, flowers, sweet nothings whispered in your ear and making you feel like you’re the best thing since sliced bread!

However, this type also sees “dating” as a game or a challenge. They’re not interested in the real you or in building a deep, lasting connection. You’re nothing more than the pursued to the pursuer. It is all about the excitement of the “hunt.” The initial attraction may take off in leaps and bounds until you become the prize. However, if you’re looking for “forevers,” this guy is not it. He prefers the chase, bagging the prize and when he’s had enough and hears the call of the wild again, he’s off and running to his next victim.

The problem is you don’t matter to the hunter. It’s a game and breaking a heart or two along the way is not going to be a stumbling block for him. All it takes is another woman walking in and one who blinks in his direction and he sees HOPE. Hope of another conquest, hope of the excitement of the chase and hopes that that first kiss will send his adrenaline sky-rocketing. If you’re in such a relationship, let the loser go. Heartbreaking? It is.

Leave the “hunters” to their own viles and look for someone who sees you as a person and not just as a prey!

I think this quote below explains it well.

Ladies, if you have to ask a man, “So what are we?” or “Where is this relationship going?” The answer is nowhere.

Men by nature are hunters and go for what they want. If he wanted you to be his wife, he would have proposed.

If he wanted you to be his lady, he would have asked you.

Men go hard for what they truly want. If he is not going hard for you, you are not what he wants.

Unfortunately, this thing is also called love but it definitely is not the right kind of love. Keep that in mind the next time you meet one of these guys with their pistols cocked! Tell them to take a hike from the get go.

Have an amazing day.