mental-health – Page 19

The Five W’s of Life

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There are many lessons to learn during our lifetime but according to overstu.com, the five W’s of Life helps to navigate us through the intricacies of this long and winding road if we learn the answers to the five question words. They are who, what, when, where and why. Learn them, find the answers and practice them to make the most of your life.

“WHO you are is what makes you special. Do not change for anyone.”

The message here is that you are special and unique and you do not have to change to fit anyone’s idea of what normal is. Just remember, you have something to offer this world just as you are. The people who are meant to be in your life will accept you flaws and all. No changes needed or perhaps just a little tweaking needed. Always remember YOU are enough.

“WHAT lies ahead will always be a mystery. Do not be afraid to explore.”

This is a hard one. We want that crystal ball to show us what lies ahead because the future is murky and because of our need to know before taking that step forward. Guess what? Whether you want to or not, there is no stopping the future and you will just have to deal with it when it comes around. You can’t change the future but you can make it better by living in the here and now and putting your best effort forward to make it a good one. Of course, fear not the future is the message but it is easier said than done.

“WHEN life pushes you over, you push back.”

I don’t like this one. It means you’ll have to be brave to deal with whatever comes your way. You can certainly choose to give up but that’s not an option and if you want to survive what life throws your way, you’ll have to toughen up, put your big girl panties on and deal with it. Failure is one such experience. Not trying another and it often brings about missed opportunities and staying within your comfort zone another bad decision. Try and try harder. If you fail the first time around so what, try again. The message here is to NEVER GIVE UP!

WHERE there are choices to make, make the ones you won’t regret.

This one is self-explanatory. Make the right choices and life will be so much better but how many of us do that? We love the wrong people, we make the wrong choices in food, health and a whole host of other things. Human nature I suppose BUT if we are lucky enough we can still learn to make the right choices to get ourselves back on track again. Not always possible but here again, never give up and keep on trying.

WHY things happen will never be certain. Take it in and move forward.

This is a big one. How often have we asked why? Why did the relationship break up? Why did a loved one have to die? Why did this happen to me? All legit questions and we want answers where there is none to be had. You’ll have to trust that nothing happens by chance and some how at a later point in time the answers will be revealed to you. You’ve heard the phrase, “Yours is not to ask the reason why?” Well, hard to do, really hard but trusting everything happens for a reason might be a step in the right direction and not losing hope your stronghold.

Five questions to ask and to pay attention to the answers coming back. Step forward equipped with WHO you are, WHERE you are going, WHAT your life is about, WHY things happen and WHEN you do, maybe the secret of life will be revealed to you. Not holding my breath but it’s worth a try.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Half-Hearted Connections

“You don’t deserve a half-hearted love. You don’t deserve someone who can only promise you pieces and not the whole. You don’t deserve someone who’s walking around investing time in other some ones. You don’t deserve a person who can’t commit.” Marisa Donnelly

Have you ever fallen for an emotionally-unavailable man? Have you ever wondered why you’re on a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs and you don’t know if you’re coming or going? If you’re caught up in a never-ending cycle of being taken for a ride, it’s time to get off.

An emotionally unavailable man is typically defined as, “not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of man will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.”

The problem is even though these men are not available, it doesn’t stop them from being out there on the dating scene. They don’t want long-term but pretend that they do. They send out mixed signals and at times it seems like they want “forever” but it is more in their mind than anything else. The message they deliver is a confusing one and just when you think that you’ve found the one, they’ll show you different in a not so nice way. They’re there one minute, ghost you the next or worse still take up with someone else right before your very eyes. This is a relationship where you’re the non-entity and it is all about them.

How do you know if they’re emotionally unavailable? Here are some signs according to Victoria Miretti.

They cannot say they are looking for a long term committed relaitonship.

They don’t court you.

They struggle to have emotional or in depth conversations.

Their words and actions don’t match.

They are inconsistent.

You don’t experience a steady upward progression in the relationship.

I had the unfortunate experience of meeting one such person. He walked in like a hurricane ready to sweep everything away in his path and I was just coming out of a storm. He had all the makings of “the guy.” The relationship if you can call it that took off like a whirlwind but each time we got close, he took 10 steps back. I noticed the hesitation and put it down to fear because I was feeling the same thing. The problem was I was willing to settle for crumbs knowing full well that they were crumbs because I was coming from a place of lack myself. Having just lost a special someone, I was looking for a relationship. It was a perfect meeting of the minds. The only problem, it wasn’t enough and I knew what a good relationship should look like. This one was sorely lacking but I put up with the charade.

“Life is too short for half-hearted connections and meaningless run-throughs.” Unknown

Low-effort men do not invest in you because they can’t. They find it easy to walk away and take up with someone new in a matter of days or more specifically even before the relationship has ended because their emotions don’t run very deep and hurting someone is part and parcel of how they operate. It is a place where nothing affects them because their heart is under lock and key. A no man’s land or rather a no woman’s land as far as they are concerned. So why even be out there? I guess everyone needs love and if you hurt someone along the way what’s the big deal, right? The problem is, it is a big deal to the person who gets hurt in the process.

“Never put them first, if you always come last. Never give your all, if you only get half.” Unknown

If you’ve read my article, “Dating No-Gooders,” you’ll know that they are out there along with all the others that give “dating” a bad name. One false move will get you to where you don’t want to be. If you’re looking for Mr. Right, know that it is a dangerous world out there so step lightly. If he’s unavailable and shows the signs from the get go, leave him alone and move on. Some people cannot love you the way you want to be loved AND you’re too valuable to settle for anything less or for half-hearted connections.

How do you know if he’s emotionally available? According to singleover30.net, here are some signs to look out for.

If a man is present with you when he is with you, that’s a good sign.

This is not always true from my experience. The person I knew was all there when we spent time together and gave me the impression that he wasn’t shying away from anything but he was emotionally unavailable and hence the confusion.

He is comfortable talking about his feelings.

He is willing to talk about the progression of the relationship.

He won’t waste your time with half-hearted promises.

He will be interested in you and your life.

He prioritizes spending time with you.

Therapist: You saw the red flags though, right?

Me: I thought it was a carnival.

That says it all.

Have an amazing day.

Know Your Self Worth

“Recognize your own worth and you won’t be drawn to those who don’t see it.” Doe Zantamata

According to medium.com, “Your value is directly linked to your belief. If you treat yourself like garbage, you’ll never appreciate your potential.”

It’s interesting how many of us walk into relationships expecting the other person to validate us in some way. We look to them to make us feel wanted, to feel loved, to feel that we are worthy and to make us feel special. Basically we hand over our power and energy to that person and wait to get reimbursed. When it doesn’t happen, we find ourselves in a dark place and beat ourselves down to a pulp.

The truth is, self-worth is your sense of self, your values and your belief that you are worthy of care, support and compassion. It basically means you value yourself enough to know the boundaries and limits and what you’ll accept and what you won’t. It is that feeling within you that says you are worthy and deserving of the right kind of love and that there is a balance in the relationship. If you’ve been doing the chasing and you’re the only one investing in the relationship with your time, energy and efforts and you are not getting or getting next to nothing in return, then it’s time to reevaluate and to take a good hard look at your self-worth. How much is it worth?

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor

If your self-worth is lacking, here are some strategies to improve it from the people in the know. (verywellmind.com)

Do things you enjoy and are good at:

These help to reinforce your strengths and abilities and can make you more confident.

Exercise and challenge yourself:

Physical activity is linked to a greater sense of self-worth. It also helps to recalibrate your mindset and offers both physical and mental benefits.

Challenge negative thoughts:

Thoughts are not facts. Next time you have a negative self-thought, think of an alternative realistic thought to replace it.

Be kind to yourself.

Learn to be assertive.

Start saying “no!” I have to learn this one myself.

Focus on the positive.

It is important to have a healthy sense of self-worth because loving, respecting and valuing yourself starts with you. It is the first step towards gaining the same from others.

“Once you discover your true worth, walking away from where you are not valued will become the easiest hard thing you will ever do.” Unknown

If they don’t see you as valuable then don’t try to convince them. Remember the only person you need validation from is you. You are enough as you are, you are worthy, you deserve respect, your well-being matters and so does your emotional health. Work on your self-worth and you’ll start attracting the right kind of people, the kind who will respect your worth.

“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.” Unknown

AND

“Know your worth and then make sure to add tax.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Building Confidence

“Confidence is not “They will like me,” confidence is I will be fine if they don’t.” Christina Grimmie

You are not born with confidence, it is a process that gets stronger with time and it is also something that is learned and developed over time. However, it is not easy to build confidence especially if the environment you’re in or the challenges you face is working against you.

It’s a skill set which combines the thoughts we think and the actions we take and in order for it to work to your advantage, you have to believe in yourself and your abilities. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, then it goes without saying that your confidence and self-esteem will take a hit.

If you want to develop confidence, you first have to believe in yourself. Then you have to accept yourself as you are, this includes the good, the bad and the ugly parts. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses and get comfortable with both. Now, improve on what you can improve. However, set realistic goals, ones that you can work towards achieving which in turn will boost your confidence.

One important aspect is to surround yourself with positive and supportive people because negative ones will drain your energy and drive you further down that rabbit hole.

“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.” Helen Keller

An interesting quote and one that speaks to the heart of the matter. I think it’s 90% how you come across and 10% of the other stuff. If you can fake it by standing up tall, looking people in the eye and making an entrance like, “God sent you!” that’s more than half the battle won right there. Of course, there is a difference between confidence and arrogance. The latter is an overinflated sense of self-importance and “confidence” a healthy belief in yourself. Arrogance leads to outcomes you don’t want especially if you’re trying to build your confidence.

Start by loving yourself flaws and all. So what if you’re not perfect, most of us aren’t. Perfection isn’t everything but building on what you already possess is. A long time ago, I walked into a hall and I saw this stunning girl. She was pure perfection from the top of her head to the very soles of her feet. As I watched her, I realized that she was sorely lacking in one human trait. The smile was missing from her face and she was pure “arrogance” in a stunning package which took away from her attractiveness. So if you’re thinking the “attractive people” have it made, it is not necessarily the truth.

“Every time you catch yourself criticizing yourself, think of something you love about yourself.” Unknown

Confidence is necessary to achieve success. Confident people take risks and push themselves to achieve their goals. Here’s the thing, the more confident you are, the more likely you’re able to attract positive experiences which in turn makes your world a better place. More importantly, confidence helps you to handle failure better because you know that it is an opportunity to learn and grow and not something that is going to destroy your life.

“It’s OKAY”

To make mistakes.

To have bad days.

To be less than perfect.

To do what’s best for you.

To be yourself.

Finally, work that confidence! The more you practice and use it, the stronger it gets and smile while you’re doing it!

“Inhale confidence, exhale doubt.” Alex Toussaint

AND

“Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do. and at some point, you will.” Venus Williams

Have an amazing day

The Journey

I’ve talked about my journey many times before. It is a journey designed to get me somewhere. Where do I want to go? I want to get to the top of that mountain. I want to say that I made it there leaving all the things that did not serve me behind and I want to feel the freedom of knowing that the “journey” was worthwhile and I can finally breathe again.

“Over time, I have come to believe that “brave” does not mean what we think it does. It does not mean “being afraid” and doing it anyway. Nope. Brave means listening to the still small voice inside and doing as it says. Regardless of what the rest of the world is saying.” Glennon Doyle

I still have a long ways to go but then again easy doesn’t cut it. It takes soul-searching, giving up what holds me back, knowing what I want and the courage to move forward not knowing what that path forward holds. The unknown is always scary but what if there is a “better” than where I am now? A better life, a better existence and perhaps even a better love. I am looking for that needle in the haystack but he is well-hidden and if he is there staring me in the face, I don’t see him yet.

Recently, I shared with a friend that I’m on the verge of giving up as far as that special someone is concerned. I told him I am tired of making treks in the wrong direction and that perhaps love is not in the cards for me. Perhaps, I should just say enough already and give up altogether.

He listened quietly as I vented and then said, “In German there is a saying, you find happiness when you least expect it.” It was profound, perhaps even holding a modicum of truth and coming from a guy wearing a bandana, it made me sit up and take notice. Not that I have anything against bandana-wearing men, I just didn’t expect this kind of deep thinking from him. He’s the rugged outdoorsy type but obviously has a soft core which he keeps well-hidden not visible to the naked eye. That said, nope he is not my guy. Anyway, the light went back on. I realized that I had met my ex when I wasn’t looking. It was my first night out after a long while of mourning over a break up and there he was. Our paths crossed and unknown to us both, the wheels had been set in motion and there was no stopping the path we were on. Perhaps, the inevitable happens when you least expect it and when the time is right.

If that is true, could we make it just a tad easier please? And if it does happen let’s make it forever this time around.

“Breathe through it and release anything that does not serve you.” Unknown

I’m no stranger to breathing. I do all kinds of different breathing techniques, I don’t believe in leaving it to chance so why not try everything there is to try and I might just hit the right one, the breathing technique that is, at some point in time. I’m also hoping that my intuition will take over and point me in the right direction but then fear, my best friend, comes in and blows it all to pieces. This journey has not been easy and making the wrong move from time to time always brings me back to square one. The message is clear, move slowly, one foot in front of the other. Patience is a virtue but not in my case. I’m like a petulant child who stomps her feet and demands that she gets it NOW! Life is not putting up with my temper tantrums so here I am again wondering where I went wrong this last time? I have to learn to bide my time, move with caution for the way forward is not easy to navigate and one false move and I am back to where I started from and I don’t want that.

“I was lucky enough to have been to rock bottom before, right? So I know for a fact, that rock bottom is always the beginning of the newness. It hurts and its painful, and then there’s the waiting……where you don’t know what the hell is going on and you don’t think any of it is going to make sense and then,

THERE’S THE RISING.”

I am waiting to exhale. I am waiting for “the rising” when all is made new again and I am given another chance at life, at love, at living and finally breathing freely again. I am looking forward to saying, “It was tough but I made it!”

-Say the thing you must say.

-Go where you must go.

-Learn what you must leave.

-Do what you must do.

-Trust yourself.

When They Say:

You seem out of control…..

You Say:

Thank you. That’s the plan.

For the rest of my life.

Glennon Doyle

Have an amazing day.

–

JUST BREATHE!

It’s Sunday, a day for rest and relaxation or at least it’s supposed to be. I wanted to sleep in but Chachi, the cat, had other plans. In a cat’s world there is no such thing as a Sunday I suppose so it was time to get up and get going! Where to? Nowhere special, he wanted to go downstairs to his window seat to watch his world come alive and so I must follow whether I want to or not! He’s got me trained and I thought I was doing such a great job raising him.

The weather is drizzly, cold and damp. Nothing to brag about and no walking out in the fields either. I need to keep the “monkey” which I call my brain in check so here I am back to writing to get my mind to settle down.

We never give it much thought but breathing is a powerhouse. It does so much to keep us in check, to help us relax and to see things with a clearer vision. My plan for today is to keep breathing, not the in and out variety which we do unthinkingly but the kind that helps me to relax. I am going to try some deep breathing combined with meditation to see where it takes me. Here are some quotes on breathing to bring the focus back to where you need to be if life has you scrambling to survive whatever it is that has got you that way.

“Deep breaths are like little love notes to yourself.” Unknown

“You will get there when you are meant to get there and not one moment sooner….so relax, breathe, and be patient.” Mandy Hale

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go and see what happens.” Mandy Hale

“Stay positive, even when it feels like your whole world is falling apart.” Unknown

Breathe in deeply to bring your mind home to your body.” Thich Nhat Hanh

I like this one because it speaks directly to my state of mind. Sometimes my mind and body are out of sync and I have to bring my mind back to where my body is. Not always easy but breathing takes me there but not for long!

BREATHE

“You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too.” Unknown”

Breathe darling

“This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. C. Lourie

It’s okay if you’re feeling lazy and the only thing you want to do today is to breathe. It’s Sunday, it’s time to relax and to gather strength for the week ahead. Breathe and let go, you’ll be just fine.

And Remember:

“No matter what happens, you can handle it, and you will be okay.” Lori Deschene

Have an amazing Sunday!

A Lesson Learned

Photo by Catherine Leclert on Pexels.com

It was a nice walk as usual but only this time, I was bundled up against the bitter cold in a thick jacket complete with fur-lined boots on my feet. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my gloves in my rush to get out the door this morning. It was a big mistake because it was icy cold and my hands needed warmth fast! I shoved them into my jacket to keep them warm and continued on walking.

Winter was here even though it was still fall according to the weather forecast. Looking at the trees, I noticed that they had lost their golden glow. Some branches were bare to the bone and others still had a few leaves hanging on them for dear life. They were fighting a losing battle against the cold wind which was unrelenting and with every sweep, it sent the remaining leaves gliding softly to the ground. It was just a matter of time before the trees would stand unclothed and wait for Mother Nature to clothe them again. It will happen like clockwork and they knew they had nothing to worry about. All in good time.

Looking out into the distance all was quiet. It was grey and foggy and nothing seemed to be moving except for the crows gathering in the fields like they were meeting for a convention of some kind. God only knows what they were going on about but that raucous crowing was unsettling to say the least. Just then, I noticed movement past them and saw something unfamiliar. They were standing still like statues, their long beaks pointed to nothing in particular and the crows didn’t seem to bother them. I was fascinated and kept my eyes focused on them. They were migratory birds of some kind but not something I am familiar with. Movement did not seem to be their forte and silence and stillness seemed to be.

I kept on walking on the path I was on with my eyes trained on those strange birds. Suddenly, I felt a deep searing pain shoot up my right ankle and it stopped me in my tracks. I had stepped on a large rock and twisted my ankle! Fearing the worst, I moved my ankle gingerly and it seemed to be alright. I didn’t want to walk home limping all the way and neither did I want to wait for help to come get me! Luckily for me, everything seemed to be fine as I took a few steps to test my foot and moved on with no problems.

The path I was on was strewn with big and small rocks. Some places were still holding mud and others dry and some a straight shot with nothing to worry about if you looked carefully before taking your next step. You’ve heard the saying, “Curiosity killed the cat?” Well, it didn’t kill me today but my pre-occupation with something in the distance had almost caused a foot injury and it could have been a serious one.

We do that a lot don’t we? Instead of keeping our eyes focused on the here and now or in front of us, we veer off when something catches our attention and we lose sight of where we should be going. It might take a few seconds or a few minutes but that is all it takes sometimes to make one false move and to land on our backs or in this case with a sprained ankle. Luckily that didn’t happen this time. A lesson learned and one that will teach me to keep my focus in front of me and to not get distracted every time something catches my attention.

Walking back deep in thought, I was thankful that I was able to with no pain. Pulling my jacket closer around me as the wind kissed my almost frozen nose, I made it home in one piece and ready for a well-deserved cup of hot coffee. The birds are still on my mind but that is for another day.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Let Go Gracefully

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Just like that….it is over. The feelings and emotions crowding your mind and raging through your body are almost too much to bear. Disbelief, anger, sadness, numbness, confusion and rage could be some of the emotions taking hold and letting go gracefully is the last thing on your mind.

It is a normal reaction. Give it time to settle down even if it feels like it never will right now. It is done for, so let it go gracefully.

“The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go.” Unknown

It is not easy to let go and it is downright scary. Suddenly it becomes real and very uncomfortable. Most of us look at it as a relationship ending and there is a mad scramble within to want to save what can’t be saved. What went wrong is the first question that comes to mind. The more pertinent question is, does it even matter? Crying over split milk is a lost cause and venting over lost time and energy even more so. Consider it a sunk cost and take steps to move on.

Did I neglect his needs, wants and feelings?

Did he neglect mine?

What led to the breakup?

Did he fall into me or was I the one doing the chasing running circles around him?

Did he hurt me intentionally? There is a difference between hurting someone and hurting someone intentionally. The latter is done with total disrespect knowing full well that the action taken will have repercussions and not of the nice kind.

More importantly, how much of what I didn’t want, did I tolerate?

The answers coming back could be eye-openers because, as women, we tend to have blinders on when it comes to love and relationships. What we wouldn’t tolerate normally are the very things we are quick to disregard when it comes to that special person in our life.

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Unknown

Letting go is a grieving process. You’ll have to go through the grieving to get to the other side. There are five steps to the process. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. There is a quote that goes like this:

“The buffalo is the only animal that runs into a storm rather than away from it.”

Why? It’s because, “they instinctively know that walking into a storm will get them out of the weather quicker, despite knowing they’ll suffer more up front.” Face your problems head-on with courage and determination and by spending time there instead of ignoring them you will be able to move past them more quickly and effectively.

However, if you don’t want to do all five of the grieving techniques, accept what has happened, don’t ponder too much on why it happened but know that sometimes:

“Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path.” Unknown

AND

“Some things break your heart but fix your vision.” Unknown

Let go gracefully and walk away with your dignity intact. Smile even if it hurts and turn the switch off. It is done for now and you’ll be fine.

Have an amazing day.

Narcissism

Narcissism is defined as an “extreme self-involvement to the degree that it makes a person ignore the needs of those around them. True narcissists frequently disregard others or their feelings and they do not understand the effect their behavior has on other people.” http://www.webmd.com

Narcissistic personality disorder is considered a mental health condition and it is characterized by a life-long pattern of exaggerated self-importance. It is a pattern of behavior that is often destructive to the people around them. These are self-centeredness, arrogance, lack of empathy, inconsideration for other people and inflated self-importance. Narcissists can be manipulative, selfish and they display a sense of entitlement.

“When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, there is always a whole secret life going on behind your back.” Unknown

A narcissist moves to a different drumbeat, one of their own making. Rules and conventions do not apply to them and if it did, do not expect it to last very long. It lasts only if you accept them on their terms. There is no compromise. Falling in love is a knee-jerk reaction for the narcissist, the emphasis here being on JERK!”

“Narcissistic personality disorder is the only mental condition where the patient is left alone but everyone else needs treatment.” Unknown

They’ll keep the facade going as long as it suits them. Yes, they can play the “nice guy” but only if everything goes according to their plan. If it doesn’t the gloves are off and the real person steps out, someone you never knew was hiding behind the mask they had been wearing.

Narcissist:

“(n): a more polite term for a self-serving manipulative, evil jerk with no soul and compassion.”

If the relationship doesn’t work out like they wanted which is all to their benefit, they’ll move on in a heartbeat without so much as a goodbye because their next victim is already on the line. They will show no remorse, compassion or empathy because they have none to offer. Their feelings only run knee-deep like their emotions. They will lie, cheat, stand on their head and declare on the Bible that it is the absolute truth and nothing but the truth in order to make you question your sanity because that is how they work. It is a form of psychological and emotional abuse all to the detriment of the victim. It often leads to anxiety and stress disorders. Unfortunately, it is hard to recognize a narcissist when approached by one because they don’t have a sign on their forehead which says, “I AM A NARCISSIST! Please beware.” Life would be easier if they did but there is none. You learn from your mistakes and hopefully the damage is minimal.

Never J.A.D.E. with a narcissist-

Justify

Argue

Defend or

Explain

AND

“If you see a narcissist do this….RUN!

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Self-Talk

It matters how you talk to yourself. The more negatives you can come up with, the deeper down the rabbit hole you go. Positive self-talk is a must if you want a better mindset according to the experts and they do know what they’re talking about. How you see yourself and how you talk to yourself reflects the way you perceive the world around you.

I woke up this morning and immediately started berating myself for all the things I could have done better yesterday. I told myself I could have handled the situation better but didn’t so it was time to beat myself down. Talking down to yourself is a norm for most people and it only helps to create more negativity as it reflects back on who you are not. Let’s change that mindset. Here are some quotes to help you get there.

“Watch what you tell yourself, you’re likely to believe it.” Russ Kyle

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” Brene Brown

“The way you choose to think and speak about yourself (to yourself and others),

IS A CHOICE!

You may have spent your whole life talking about yourself in a negative way, but that doesn’t mean you have to continue that path.” Miya Yamanouchi

“Self-talk is the most powerful form of communication because it either empowers you or it defeats you.” Unknown

“Everything you tell yourself matters. It will either lift you up or tear you down. It’s your voice and your choice.” Unknown

“When it’s hardest, remind yourself of these things: I am okay, even if it hurts so bad. I am strong, even if I don’t feel like it. I am doing my best, and that is more than enough.” Nicole Marie B

“Turn off any self-talk that tells you that you are destined to live a small life. YOU’RE NOT.”

In order to get to positive self-talk, there are a few things you need to give up. Stop the negative self-talk in your head. Stop doubting yourself because you are fully capable of achieving whatever you want to. Get rid of the fear of failure and if you fail so what, get up and do it again until you succeed. Lastly, but perhaps just as important, stop people pleasing. You don’t have to kowtow to anyone. Be your own person and that is enough. What they think of you is none of your business.

“It’s not what we say out loud that really determines our lives. It’s what we whisper to ourselves that has the most power.”

If all else fails, do this instead:

“Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and SHUT UP!” Ann Bradford

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.