mental-health – Page 20

The “Me” Concept

Who am I? Sounds simple enough but this is a hard one to answer. It encompasses all of you, the big picture so to speak. Who you are, what you stand for, what shaped you and the experiences that have made you, the “YOU” of today are all part and parcel of this concept. Understanding yourself is vital to how you interact with the world around you. There is only one YOU, and your identity is unique, It is made up of your values, your beliefs, your relationships and your experiences and that in a nutshell is who you are as a person.

However, interacting with the world around you is not always an easy thing to do. It is much bigger than you are and sometimes downright scary. Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter and might even help with where you are in the grand scheme of things as far as your world is concerned.

“Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” Unknown

One step at a time if you want to get somewhere and looking at that whole journey might just be a tad too overwhelming to say the least. Do it slowly and carefully and you’ll get there when the time is right.

“Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” Unknown

Absolutely worth taking a note of. How often do we hang around people who make us feel less than we are? It is time to clean house and start afresh with people worthy of your company.

“The problem isn’t that your friends aren’t showing up for you…

The problem is that you’re still calling them friends.” Unknown

“You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Choose carefully” Unknown

How true? Choose your friends carefully and the rest will fall into place.

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story,

LEAVE.” Mo Willems

If something is not working and it becomes a struggle, change your strategy. You are not stuck where you are, there is always a way out to start anew. You just need to have the courage to say “I can do this” and move on.

“She wanted something else, something different, something more, passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.” Nicholas Sparks

There you have it. Stop being the option and start being the priority. Stop choosing people who do not choose you.

Understand this….

“You can sound confident and have anxiety. You can look healthy but feel like shit. You can look happy and be miserable inside. You can be good looking and feel ugly. So be kind, because every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown

Kindness matters so JUST BE KIND!

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

This actually speaks to the whole concept of who you are. What you do eventually becomes your character. Choose wisely and do the right thing.

“Learn to be done with people, not mad, not bothered but just done.” Unknown

This is hard for someone like me. It takes a lot to say I am done but I am learning. Sometimes it is a matter of survival the choices you make. Choose wisely.

“In the end, she became more than what she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going.” Unknown

This last one is poignant. I am on a journey of self-discovery and self-development and in so doing I am learning to give up what does not serve me, to change directions and to move towards what does. Not always easy I know but this is where self-awareness and self-worth comes in to guide you and to make it just a little less scarier than it is.

Have an amazing day.

The Questions

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Why do we keep repeating the same mistakes when it comes to relationships? Why do we gravitate to the same types of people?

These are the questions I ask myself over and over again. It seems that I am drawn to the same types I left behind. It’s been a never-ending cycle and it seems like Groundhog’s Day over and over again to the point that it is horrific and mind-boggling to say the least.

Liars, cheaters and emotionally-unavailable men seem to draw me in like they’re magnetized and I have no willpower when it comes to these types. I walk in gladly like a lamb to the slaughter.

There is a reason so say the experts. They say “opposites attract” and “we are drawn to people who are strong in areas we are weak.” Hmm….there is more to this concept according to them. Two people who have an abusive past will be attracted to each other because they are viewed as equals. However, an abuser is not necessarily attracted to another abuser. He’s attracted to an “abusee” – or someone who will tolerate and enable his abuse. So to make it short and to the point, the “abusee” is familiar with abuse, be it physical, sexual or emotional abuse and so she is attracted to someone who gives her what she’s already comfortable with it.”

Lord have mercy!

Is there no way out of this pattern? There is but first you need to know that:

“Simplicity and Complexity need each other.” Unknown

However, there is a way out but not an easy one. You have to work at it with a narrow-minded focus.

Here goes. If you want to attract better, you must be better meaning you need to discard what is within you, the cause for your need to be abused. Find out where it stems from. Your childhood? Adulthood? The experts say look for patterns and don’t sweep what you find under the rug. The only way to learn from it, get past it, is to go through it. Otherwise, you’re doomed to repeat and attract the same types only in a different body!

This is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. As I have said in one of my other article, I am like a heat-seeking missile when it comes to the types I mentioned above. I find them!

Here are some tips from beyourownbrandofsexy.com on how to attract quality or high-value men. First, know yourself well and know what you need in a relationship and what matters to you.

Identify your Needs

Know what works and won’t work for you. Be selective and be ready to discard if something shows up as a red flag. “Loving the wrong person teaches you the red flags to watch out for the next time around.”

Don’t Settle

This is important. We tend to settle when we know that the person is the wrong type only because we tell ourselves that he will change or I can make him change. They don’t change, what they show you is what you get. So how do you stop attracting narcissists and the wrong men? DO NOT let them get close to you. Know what your non-negotiable dealbreakers are and stick to them.

Be your Own Person

This means be your own true authentic self. Say “no” to bad matches. Become your true, authentic self which helps you to gravitate to people who are better matches for you.

Be Persistent

If you want to end up in a solid relationship, persistence pays. This doesn’t mean being persistent in chasing the wrong types but staying true and waiting for the right one to show up. Dating is a learning experience and unfortunately, you’ll have rejections, bad dates and disappointments AND you’ll have to kiss some frogs but if you keep at it and know what you want, you might just land the man of your dreams.

While you’re working on that, take care of yourself as well. No point letting yourself go because that is not going to do it. Lose some weight if you have to, get fit both mentally and physically, take care of your skin and teeth because one guy did ask me to show him my teeth on our first date! They’re out there. Just know that physical appearance matters so present the best version of yourself.

Now, I have to go figure out the patterns in my life which make me attract the same types over and over again. That’s the cycle I need to break! I definitely want to break this cycle of attracting low-value men and having to kiss frogs and hoping that they’ll turn into Prince Charming. Time to get working to put my best self forward armed with the knowledge of exactly what I’ll settle for.

I swear if this doesn’t work I’m giving up altogether!

Have an amazing day.

Love is….

I took a walk in nature today to clear my mind and somehow came back home with love on my mind. What is it? Is it just a feeling or something more? Don’t ask me why or how I got on this topic but it crossed my mind and here I am ready to see what it’s all about it.

“Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust.” http://www.verywellmind.com

I decided to look a little deeper and found some quotes that describe love in all its entirety and here are some of my favorites.

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” Paulo Coelho

Paulo has a way with words and in the most romantic way. I’m still waiting to see what the universe has conspired for me.

“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times.” Ann Landers

I like the next one a lot. Why? Because I am a romantic at heart and it speaks to my soul. See what I mean?

“Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing.” Torquato Tasso

“I don’t want a perfect person. I just want someone to act silly with, someone who treats me well and loves being with me more than anything.” Unknown

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” Oscar Wilde

Oscar said it well, don’t you think? Simply beautiful but I haven’t found him yet. Still looking!

“The real lover is a man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.” Marilyn Monroe

Who knew Ms. Monroe had it in her. The blonde bombshell went deeper than her looks and I love that quote.

Next is my girl, Carrie Bradshaw. She knows her love material well.

“I am someone who is looking for real love; ridiculous. inconvenient. consuming. can’t-live-without-each other love.”

“I’d like to think that people have more than one soulmate. If you miss one, along comes another. Like cabs.”

I am not too sure about that one. Perhaps they won’t be called soulmates anymore. Just run of the mill types who walk in and out of your life and that might be a more appropriate description.

My favorite of them all is this one below.

“The heart that’s meant to love you will fight for you when you want to give up, pick you up when you’re feeling down, and will give their smile when it’s hard for you to find yours. They will NEVER get strength from seeing you weak, power from seeing you hurt, or joy from seeing you cry. The heart that’s meant to love you wants to see the best of you, not the hurt you! Never forget that.” Trent Shelton

Feeling all loved up? I know I am. Enjoy your day.

LET IT GO

“One of the hardest lessons in life is learning to let go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal, it doesn’t matter, it is hard and that is a fact. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.” Unknown

Letting go has always been hard for me. I tend to take things that have happened with or without my permission and I play around with it until it becomes a different scenario from where it started from. Suddenly that little problem becomes all-consuming and my life comes to a halt and my focus is riveted to that one little spot. It’s as if I am churning a cauldron and saying as the witches in Macbeth did, “Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble!” I have trouble saying, it is done. It has happened. I can’t go back and change anything even if I wished I could. So just breathe a sigh of relief and LET IT GO but I am learning.

Something happened yesterday. It was small compared to all the big things out there. Somehow I let it get inside me. I stirred it up and soon it was a major problem BUT only in my mind. As I stood watching the sun go down in a blaze of glory, I realized that I had let a beautiful day go to waste simply because I had been caught in a web of my own making. Things do happen and it is not your fault or mine but it is how we deal with it that differentiates whether we come out on top or get stuck at the bottom. Take a deep breath, feel the weight fly off your shoulders and your feet get a little lighter as you watch it, whatever it is, dissipate into the distance and into nothingness. It is not worth it. LET IT GO.

We hold onto relationships that are not good for us but still we hold on simply for the sake of holding on when you know deep inside that this is not what you want but letting go is not an option. It would hurt too much or you’ll find yourself alone or you’ve invested too much time and energy in it or you make up some story in your head that you can’t live without him or her and it goes on and on. If truth be told, you know that letting go and moving on is the best option because it is not working and you want better. LET IT GO. You’ll be alright.

I love holding onto people, problems and just about anything. Some days I play things over in my mind and say, if only this and if only that. I am learning that playing around with it in my head is only hurting me and it is not going to change things. You can’t change the past and it is over so let it rest. You have bigger and better things to do. LET IT GO. It doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done. Be at peace and move on.

“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” Unknown

AND

“Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.” Unknown

AND

“Overthinking will destroy your mood. Breathe and let go.” @SelfSaid

The last one was for me simply because I overthink everything! So I’m going to breathe and LET IT GO. Not easy but worth a try.

LET IT GO, MOVE ON, YOU’LL BE FINE.

Have an amazing day.

Mind Games

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Harper’s Bazaar defines it as, “signs of manipulation and deception. It hurts people’s feelings and gives them trust issues.” According to them, these are major red flags and it has no place in a healthy, happy relationship.

True and you deserve a happy, and healthy relationship. However, many play mind games just for the hell of it because it makes them feel good or it’s done for some sick pleasure. Others have made it part and parcel of their dating existence. How do you spot these wolves in sheep’s clothing? Not easy because quite often they disguise themselves as one of the good guys. They look and come across as harmless but in actuality, they have the potential to hurt you badly through their manipulative tactics.

Here are the tell-tale signs. Actually there are 9 of them according to geediting.com but I think there are more.

Inconsistent behavior……this one is like dealing with Jekyll and Hyde. He’s the nice guy one minute and the next you’ll be wondering what changed. It’s NOT YOU! It’s HIM!

Gaslighting…..a technique used to question your own reality, experiences, or perceptions. If you’re constantly doubting or questioning yourself, you might just be a victim of gaslighting.

They never apologize…..this is a significant part of someone playing mind games. Be aware. Instead of apologizing, they deflect blame onto others.

They make you feel guilty….this is one of the tools master manipulators use to shift power in their favor.

They’re hot and cold…..this tactic is known as “love bombing.” This technique will leave you confused and unsure of where you stand and that’s exactly where they want you.

They make you question your worth…..this is a clear sign that someone is playing mind games. It is used to erode your self-esteem making you dependent on them for validation. It’s a form of control.

They withhold affection as punishment….one minute everything’s great and the next they’re not talking to you. It’s a manipulative technique to gain control and hold the upper hand in the relationship. A harsh method used to get whatever they want.

They make you feel like everything’s your fault….even when it isn’t. You’re the bad person and they come out smelling like a rose. It’s time to take a good hard look at the relationship and to move on.

They use your insecurities against you….they know your vulnerabilities and they exploit it to gain power and control.

I’ll add silent treatment to the list above. Master manipulators are pros when it comes to using silent treatment to their advantage. It is used as a form of punishment to make you feel unimportant and anxious so that you scramble to make THEM feel important again which means doing anything they want.

“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.” Unknown

Mind games have no place in a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship deserves respect, love, caring AND your well-being matters. If you find yourself going through one of the 9 items listed above over and over again, it’s time to leave the loser behind to his own wiles and move on to someone who will meet you on equal terms and treat you as an equal as well. They’re out there, you just have to weed through the losers to get there but anything is better than a master manipulator.

“Mind games do not make me believe you are mysterious or interesting. Mind games do make me believe you are a waste of my time and energy!” Unknown

AND

“Let’s play kind games instead of mind games.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

“Best Friends (circa 1910) Fred” by Museum of New Zealand/ CC0 1.0

“When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.” Mandy Hale

How often have you looked to others for validation, to lift you up, to make you feel important, to gain their approval and to make you feel loved? I know I have and I have found myself wallowing in self-pity or even questioning my worth as a person. I am learning that loving yourself comes first. YOU are important, what you tell yourself is important and who you are and what you will stand for and won’t is important. Be kind and gentle here because the way you talk to yourself is important. Work on yourself, it is the key element to get you out of the rut. What rut? The stuck in the mud rut. Your goal is to get you moving to a better life and to feel comfortable with yourself.

Invest in Yourself

This may sound like a new concept because we spend a lot of our energy and money on materialistic things and also in pleasing others that we forget the all-important person who is left wanting. Invest in time spent with yourself, this doesn’t take much but dedication. A walk in nature to nurture your soul, meditation to look inwards and find peace, working out to bolster your health or even spend time talking to yourself. If you have the means, pamper yourself. Go for a massage, get a facial, get a manicure or pedicure and no, it doesn’t mean you are vain. It just means you are putting yourself first and showing love to the person who matters the most and that is YOU.

Invest in your Environment

Your home is your castle? Work to make it that way. Spruce up your garden, plant flowers that give you joy when they bloom and fill your space with color. Redo your living area and or your bedroom and add things to make you feel comfortable. Make it a place you love spending time in and love coming back to but most of all, a place where you can relax and pamper your soul.

Get Rid of the Unwanted

This is hard. If you want to be your own best friend, you need to make space for the important things. Get rid of the things that bog you down, the people who make you question who you are because they are in a bad place in their lives. If their only goal in life is to bring you down to their level of despair, let them go! Sometimes getting rid of the unwanted makes room for what is needed. New friends, love, laughter, joy and peace.

Say this to yourself and mean it.

“You are hands down, my favorite person.” Unknown

Being your own best friend takes time as it is with everything that matters. Be forgiving, speak softly and lovingly to yourself, encourage yourself, love yourself and work towards looking in the mirror and loving the person staring back at you. Be your own validation and life, my friend, will get easier.

How to be your own best friend:

“Look in the mirror and give yourself a high-five.

Ask yourself often, “how are you feeling?”

Cry when you need to.

Give yourself a hug.

Forgive yourself for going back to old patterns and behaviors.

Encourage yourself with words you would use to encourage a friend.” Unknown

Good luck and I am on the self-same journey.

We Can Do This!

The sun is shining for a change but it’s still cold. Time to bundle up, step out into nature and to love what is waiting for me out there. It’s time for a walk.

Have an amazing day.

The Blame Game

It’s easy to blame someone or something for where we’re at in life, isn’t it? We, as humans, tend to look for excuses and reasons as to why we’re at a low point in life. It’s easy to say, “You’re the reason why or this happened and that’s the reason why.”

Perhaps we should turn it around and ask ourselves how much of the blame do we carry ourselves? Sure, there are reasons, excuses and sometimes legit circumstances for looking for somewhere or someone to place the blame on, however, if you’re honest with yourself, much of the responsibility lies on your shoulders and yours alone.

People can trigger certain outcomes but it is how you decide to deal with the situation that defines how you handle it and where you go from here.

“It’s easy to be the victim. It’s easy to point the finger of blame. It’s easy to stay stuck and unhappy.

I don’t do easy.” Bruce Van Horn

I don’t either. I’ve been stuck before and refused to move and I have been totally unhappy but I don’t stay there for long. My mom once told me, “If you fall, dust off and get back on that horse.” It seemed silly at the time but that piece of advice has stood the test of time. Sometimes it takes a while before I get moving again and yes, at times I look for ways to deflect and to put the blame on someone else because that would be the easiest option to the problem at hand but it is also the way to not take responsibility for my part in the situation. Did I let it happen? Did I see it coming and chose not to do something about it? More importantly, how much blame do I give myself for what happened?

The thing is, situations happen, circumstances happen and life happens. Looking for easy options rather than looking for solutions is not going to get you out of where you’re at.

Remember:

“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” Louis Nizer

Why do we blame others?

According to innerbalanceaz.com, it’s because”

It’s easy

It feeds a need for control

It fuels a desire for perfectionism

It keeps them from having to be vulnerable

It protects their ego

It unloads backed-up feelings

Furthermore, “it offers a quick escape from guilt and is effortless when feeling defensive.”

However, if you get good at the blame game, you become so adept at it that it may even feel good in the beginning but it is a losing game in the end. Blaming leads to more blaming, it leads you to feelings of helplessness, it stunts your personal growth because you’ll always be looking for the easy way out and you form unhealthy relationships because blaming triggers mistrust and judgment which in turn pushes people away.

Taking responsibility is hard and we don’t do ‘hard’ too well, do we? Guess what? Hard is needed to turn that ‘point finger’ inwards and to take some of the blame yourself. It is also needed to get you to where you want to go in life and easy is not going to cut it. The next time you take aim at someone to place the blame on them, look at yourself and then go from there.

“It’s easy to blame everyone and everything for our failures and lack of success isn’t it…that means we don’t have to do anything to change….

Blaming gets you off the hook…..but it will never get you the life you dream of.”

ONLY RESPONSIBILITY WILL DO THAT.

TAKE THAT RESPONSIBILITY.

Have an amazing day.

Toxic People

We’ve met them, had to deal with them and been in relationships with them. I’m talking about toxic people. We’ve suffered the consequences but still carried on hoping that change would come. It never does. The outcome is always the same. It is often accompanied by pain and confusion. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is little you can do to change a ‘toxic’ person but you can protect yourself.

In order to deal with a toxic person you need to know their modus operandi or rather how they operate in their world. According to The Mind Journal, there are six types of toxic people.

THE NARCISSIST

Only cares about themselves

Lacks empathy

Truly believes they are better than everyone around them.

THE CONTROLLER

Tries to control everything around them.

Needs to be in charge of every decision.

Makes you feel like you can’t do anything right.

THE DRAMA MAGNET

Feeds off of gossip and drama

Drama seems to ‘follow them’ (they create it).

Puts you in uncomfortable positions.

THE ENERGY VAMPIRE

Drains you of energy, overwhelms you.

Creates problems and feeds on the negativity.

Criticizes and bullies you.

THE COMPULSIVE LIAR

Tells white lies constantly.

Manipulates and gaslights you.

Master of guilt trips.

THE GREEN EYED

Cannot be happy for other people’s good fortune.

Plays the victim

Minimizes other people to feel better about themselves.

These people often bring conflict, negativity and confusion not to mention pain into your life. Dealing with them is like walking on a minefield not suspecting anything would go wrong but eventually it does because they are wired a certain way. They are manipulative, oftentimes abusive and they will find ways to justify their behavior. Remorse never crosses their mind and taking accountability for their actions is a never never thing. They usually take without giving back.

“Just remember, we are all toxic. Every single human being is capable of being toxic, has been, currently is at times.

But some people have the desire to be educated on it and do better while others will ignore any accountability and continue to act the same way.”

Pay Attention

It is not clear why we keep doing circles around toxic people? Perhaps it has something to do with stupidity and the definition of stupid goes like this.

“Knowing the truth, seeing the truth, but still believing the lies.” Unknown

Toxic people for all their flaws can be magnetic. They tend to pull you in and make you want to stay for awhile and if love is involved, it brings a whole new dimension with it.

“Love is 50% stupid and 50% brilliant. The challenge is figuring out which part of it you’re experiencing at any given moment.” Unknown

Once you’ve figured out that you’ve hitched your yoke to a toxic person and don’t know what to do, the following quote might just help.

You don’t ever have to feel guilty about Removing Toxic People From Your Life.

“It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance, you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and “continues” to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” Unknown

Painful but short and sweet and perhaps this is the only language that ‘toxic’ people understand. Unfortunately.

Have an amazing day.

MOVE!

Movement is needed in all aspects of our lives. Digging in your heels and staying put never works. It might for a short time but never in the long run. When life shows us its idiosyncrasies, human nature is quick to respond and oftentimes we respond by digging in our heels and thumping our nose at it. The problem is the more you dig in your heels, the bleaker life feels, that’s because:

“If we were meant to stay in one place, we’d have roots instead of feet.” Rachel Wolchin

What is the true meaning of life? Many have tried to find a definition but no one knows for sure. One thing is for sure and that is LIFE HAPPENS. It doesn’t stand still and it moves faster than we want it to at times.

“Once a wise man was asked, ‘What’s the meaning of life?’ He replied, ‘Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.’

However, to create meaning out of something that is handed to you and you don’t want to face head on is hard, very hard. First thought that comes to mind when I’m faced with ‘hard’ is, I am going to dig in my heels and ignore it for all its worth. Life, on the other hand, is not going to take no for an answer. Adapt or stay where you are and deal with the consequences of your non-action and that, my friend, could be worse than what it throws your way. If you want to have the upper hand, you’ve got to MOVE!

John Wooden says,

“If we fail to adapt, we fail to move forward.”

Isn’t that the absolute truth? In order to accept and move on, you first have to change your mindset and make a conscious effort to move on. Where? There are no clear-cut answers and that is the scary part. It seems the outcome is all up to you. Putting one foot in front of the other is needed and taking small steps is needed too. Staring at the four walls in front of you and howling at the moon is not going to do it. You need to MOVE!

You need to take what is handed to you, sieve through the pieces and make sense out of it. Say, I can do this and go do whatever it is that needs to be done and do it. This move is not for the weak of heart. It takes courage and unrelenting strength plus trust that it will all turn out well in the end. Sometimes all it takes to climb that insurmountable mountain is attitude. A positive attitude combined with never giving up will get you to the top of the mountain and beyond. MOVE!

Albert Einstein once said:

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

I like this one better.

“Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.” Charles M. Schulz

Always remember, you can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you choose to stay in one place and refuse to MOVE! Don’t let life pass you by. Keeping up is what it is all about.

MOVE!

Have an amazing day.

Press Reset

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“Don’t forget power in resetting, on any given day…you are allowed to start over, if you feel like you’re going down the wrong path, RESET.” Reyna Biddy

When the sun goes down and you find yourself staring at another day ending and you realize that progress is not being made, hit the “RESET” button. You are not stuck even though it might feel that way at times but you have the power to change whatever it is you want to change in your life. You need the mindset, know what it is you’re after, hit “reset” meaning clear the slate and start over again. .

It is not that simple I know. In fact, it might be one of the hardest things you’ll have to do because changing your mindset is not easy and it is not simple either. Old habits die hard and sometimes they are hard to give up because there is comfort in hanging on to things that feel comfortable even if in reality they are not. Laziness, putting out the least effort possible and waiting for the world to reward you for nothing in particular is not going to work and it has never worked.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” C. S. Lewis

It takes YOU to change your place in the world. Where you stand, how high or low you are in the grand scheme of things all depends on you but one thing is clear, progress needs hard work. It means falling down a few more times than you wanted to but always keeping your eyes on the prize. If you want that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you’ve got to go after it. It is human nature to want to make life simple but it has other plans for us. Life is about learning from your mistakes, saying “no” to easy and knowing that you’ve got to throw yourself into “hard” to make it happen. Falling down is part and parcel of this thing called life but standing back up and moving forward gives you another chance, another opportunity to reach your end goal. You need to be better and you need to set yourself apart from the ordinary to make it. Sparkles and sunshine sounds good but it is going to take grit and determination to get you there.

Hitting “reset” and doing the same old things over and over again is not going to do it either. You need to “refocus” to get things going again. If something is not working, focus on what it is and change it. Try different angles and attitudes and at some point you’ll get it right, at least I hope I will at some point in time. Until then, I’ll hit “reset” as many times as I need to and I’ll tell the “victim mentality” I carry around with me which keeps me from achieving my goals to hit the door as well!

So if you’re standing where I have been many many times before and watching the sun set on another fruitless day, hit “RESET.” Tomorrow is on its way, it’s a new day to work your magic on a blank slate and to have your name written there as a success story. It’s all up to you.

Reset, refocus, readjust, restart, as many times as you need to. JUST NEVER GIVE UP!” Unknown

Have an amazing day.