There is no specific time. Sometimes creativity hits when I least expect it like when I’m in the shower or doing something mundane like cleaning the kitchen or doing the laundry. My physical self is doing the ordinary but my mental self is being very productive at those times. I call it a form of moving meditation.
Some days my mind doesn’t do anything productive except to give me negative back talk! Other days, it is raring to go and just when I’m making breakfast or washing the dishes an idea hits and I think I need to get this down on paper before it disappears. Some days I do and on other days I get lazy and I let it pass. The problem is some of those ideas are doozies and I often regret not putting them down on paper to be used later. However, my mind comes up with enough ideas so one or two falling by the wayside is not going to matter much.
Coming back to your question, I am most productive when I don’t see it coming!
By now, you know that most of my posts center around this thing called love. It’s because I have my fact-finding shoes on and I want to find out what it is all about.
It is elusive, that’s for sure. It morphs and never stays the same, that’s another aspect. It shows up when you least expect it and it doesn’t stay for long. It is loving and all-consuming but when things go south, it takes off on winged feet. This is my experience as far as love is concerned.
Poor you? Not really. It is daunting this task of finding “real love” but my curiosity is aroused and I’m not going to settle for anything less than the real kind. Curiosity killed the cat, you say? Well, Chachi, the cat, is doing pretty well in that respect and he’s wearing the Einstein hat now!
Someone said to me it is not about ego or attitude yesterday. I totally agree. However, it is not about accepting everyone who walks in the door and placing the “love tag” on them either. That’s a surefire way to disaster. One person called me complicated, well, more than one but who’s counting! Complicated in this case means I’m not willing to accept what is offered. It’s more like the caveman variety. “Here I am woman take me! I like you so no more wasting time and no more discussion. Let’s get down to business!” Nope, that won’t work. I am too emancipated for that BS! Call me complicated all you want but you’re out the door!
I live in a small village that time forgot. The marriages here last a very long time. Have they found the secret to a long and happy love life? Not really. It is based on convenience. Its more like, “I provide and you pander.” Get the picture? These marriages last for a very long time but they are miserable together. One prime example was my in-laws. They were married for decades and they boasted about the longevity of their relationship, however, fights were a part of their daily existence. When he died, she mourned his loss. I wondered if she was mourning the loss of the person or what she was accustomed to, that of nagging and bickering all day long. Perhaps, it was addicting but is that real love?
Someone else said, “If you find it, hold on to it.” I definitely plan to do that. In my journey so far, I’m finding that “love” comes disguised in all its wishy-washy forms but if you want the real kind, you’ve got to take your time, know what you will settle for and what you won’t and don’t be afraid to discard if it’s not what you’re looking for. It takes courage, it takes a single-minded focus and it takes walking the road less traveled. Shut out the noise around you. The one that says, “You can’t do this,” but more specifically the one that roars, “You’ll wind up alone!” I say, “better alone than with the wrong person.”
“Unless it’s mad, passionate or extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life: Love shouldn’t be one of them.” Unknown
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“There is no such thing as love, you just happen to bump into someone who laughs at your jokes, likes the way you’re face is and accepts the way you look at the world. Love isn’t real, only two human beings coincidentally lonely at the same moment in time.”
I don’t really like emojis and I don’t like using them but in this fast-paced digital world of ours, it is a necessary evil. I feel that it takes away from the human touch. There is one for every emotion you want to get across and it does its work well or so it seems. Most of us take it for granted when we get one and don’t pay much attention to it. I don’t.
Recently a male friend told me that I should never send this one ❤️ to just friends or acquaintances. He said it means love and should only be sent to people you love. I disagreed but maybe he is right about me sending the wrong signal. So I have stopped doing that. The thumbs up emoji is my favorite 👍 and I like sending that when something strikes me as being particularly good. Of course, the smiley 😀 is always a good one. Other than that, I don’t use them much.
I’m all about doing it the old-fashioned way. Calling to convey thanks or to show I care. I do understand that it is not always possible when the daily grind takes over and there is not much time to do what you need to get done so the cute little emojis step in and do the work for you even if it is a lukewarm effort. Long live the emojis? Not really. I’ll put up with them just as I do with all the other stuff that the world of technology comes up with even if I have to grit my teeth and do it!
Three men were out golfing one day and one of them hit his ball into the woods. He went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to him, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes on one condition to be named later.”
The man freed the frog and the frog said, “Thank you, but the condition is that whatever you wish for, your wife will get 10 times more or better!” The man said, “Oh, that would be okay,” and for his first wish he wanted to be the most handsome man in the world. The frog warned him, “You do realize this wish will also make your wife ten times better looking and the most beautiful woman in the world, and that men will flock to her.” The man replied, “That is okay, because I will be the most handsome man and she will only have eyes for me.” So, poof – he’s the most handsome in the world!
For his second wish, he wanted to be the richest man in the world. The frog said, “That will make your wife ten times richer, thus the richest person in the world.” The man said, “That is okay, because what is mine is hers, and what is hers is mine.” So, poof – he’s the richest man in the world!
The frog then inquired about his third wish and the man answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack….”
I want to find that frog!
A man gets on an airplane and sits next to a beautiful woman. He asks her where she is going. Her reply is that she is going to a nymphomaniac convention. He asks, “What do you learn at a convention like that?”
She says, “I have learned about many myths. Like the myth that Frenchmen are the best lovers. Jewish men are the best lovers. Another myth that I’ve learned about is that African men have the largest sex organs. It’s not African. It’s the American Indian, but I feel a little strange telling you all this when I don’t even know you. What is your name?”
The man thought for a minute and said, “Tonto, Tonto Goldstein.”
Nothing much has changed, if anything he has grown on me like a barnacle on a rock! The little bundle of fur is a part of my life and he’s there from the minute I wake up to the time I go to bed. Kisses and hugs are plenty and so are his complaints but he knows and I know that we wouldn’t want to change a thing!
Albert Schweizer said:
“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.”
He didn’t know at the time just how much truth there is in that one little phrase. My little furry friend walked into my life in the arms of my then boyfriend, in the form of a British short-haired variety and disguised as a birthday gift. Our eyes locked and he meowed his dissatisfaction at being forced to leave everything he knew behind, more specifically the safe haven of his mother’s embrace. He stretched his long neck towards me peering suspiciously at the human before him. I reached out and rubbed one hand over his tiny head and the purring that followed had me hooked from day one.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I see him watching me, his big dark eyes trained in my direction. ”What’s my next move to get her out of bed?” he seems to say. He has tried everything from his reservoir of cat arsenal and it hasn’t worked. Jumping on the bed hasn’t worked. Purring in one ear hasn’t worked. Rubbing his face against mine hasn’t worked and running one paw through my hair hasn’t worked either. ”This human is beyond my comprehension!” he meows and not too softly as he sits waiting and not too patiently!
Nothing new here. Our signals are often crossed but one thing is for sure, we love each other and there are no ifs or buts about it.
He’s been there through the thick and thin of life and everything in between. When I lost my friend the same one who had brought this tiny bundle of joy into my life, he was there to tamper the pain and make it lighter. I remember crying into his fur and holding him close. He took it like a champ even though I had soaked his fur with tears that were running down my face. He was there when I had something to laugh about. He would sit staring out the kitchen window as I moved around explaining what had happened to put that smile on my face and he would look back with that, “I’m happy for you” look or at times he would look at me with that, “I don’t know what you are droning on about but it is alright.” Talking to him has become a daily occurrence and we have an understanding of sorts. He has his world and I have mine but the love we share is of the non-negotiable type. It is there to stay and I can’t see my world without him.
Today as I roll out of bed and head on downstairs to make my first cup of coffee, he takes his spot by the kitchen window staring out at the world before him. At times, he will hear me humming and at times he will hear me whisper his name as I plant a soft kiss on his head and whisper, “I love you.” Everything is right in his world and in mine because his presence in my life is a Godsent and if there is a love never-ending, then this is it.
His name is Chachi and he is my love of a different kind.
“I have felt cats rubbing their faces against mine and touching my cheek with claws carefully sheathed. These things, to me, are expressions of love.” James Herriot
I love discussing about all kinds of topics especially those that fit into my current way of life. If you want to talk about self-discovery and ways to achieve that, I am all in. However, I love discussions about love as well. The elusive variety that is out there but is hard to find and to pin down!
I know all there is to know about the, “here today and gone tomorrow” variety. I’ve been there and done that many times over. I want to know about the “never-ending” kind that is here to stay and doesn’t go looking for greener pastures when the notion strikes. This kind of love has my attention and I’m working towards finding the answers to this question. “What makes love stay?” I haven’t found the answer or answers yet but I am on a fact-finding mission and knowing me it is just a matter of time before I unlock that secret.
Good luck you say? I don’t think luck has anything to do with it. Perhaps, it is about lying down and playing dead meaning accepting what is dished out and calling it love. If that’s the case, I’ll take a pass on love. The kind I’m looking for is the kind where the guy says, “You look beautiful,” even when I am old and wrinkled but he doesn’t see it, just the essence of me. Make sense? Enough rambling, he’s out there, I just need to find him.
Who am I? Sounds simple enough but this is a hard one to answer. It encompasses all of you, the big picture so to speak. Who you are, what you stand for, what shaped you and the experiences that have made you, the “YOU” of today are all part and parcel of this concept. Understanding yourself is vital to how you interact with the world around you. There is only one YOU, and your identity is unique, It is made up of your values, your beliefs, your relationships and your experiences and that in a nutshell is who you are as a person.
However, interacting with the world around you is not always an easy thing to do. It is much bigger than you are and sometimes downright scary. Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter and might even help with where you are in the grand scheme of things as far as your world is concerned.
“Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” Unknown
One step at a time if you want to get somewhere and looking at that whole journey might just be a tad too overwhelming to say the least. Do it slowly and carefully and you’ll get there when the time is right.
“Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” Unknown
Absolutely worth taking a note of. How often do we hang around people who make us feel less than we are? It is time to clean house and start afresh with people worthy of your company.
“The problem isn’t that your friends aren’t showing up for you…
The problem is that you’re still calling them friends.” Unknown
“You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with.
Choose carefully” Unknown
How true? Choose your friends carefully and the rest will fall into place.
“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story,
LEAVE.” Mo Willems
If something is not working and it becomes a struggle, change your strategy. You are not stuck where you are, there is always a way out to start anew.
“She wanted something else, something different, something more, passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.” Nicholas Sparks
There you have it. Stop being the option and start being the priority. Stop choosing people who do not choose you.
Understand this….
“You can sound confident and have anxiety. You can look healthy but feel like shit. You can look happy and be miserable inside. You can be good looking and feel ugly. So be kind, because every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown
JUST BE KIND
“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
This actually speaks to the whole concept of who you are. What you do eventually becomes your character. Choose wisely and do the right thing.
“Learn to be done with people, not mad, not bothered but just done.” Unknown
This is hard for someone like me. It takes a lot to say I am done but I am learning. Sometimes it is a matter of survival the choices you make. Choose wisely.
“In the end, she became more than what she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going.” Unknown
This last one is poignant. I am on a journey of self-discovery and self-development and in so doing I am learning to give up what does not serve me, to change directions and to move towards what does. Not always easy I know but this is where self-awareness and self-worth comes in to guide you and to make it just a little less scarier than it is.
I’m not a risk-taker and I’m cautious to boot which is not good for risk taking. I have one friend who takes risks gleefully, it is what makes her life worth living, the unknown is fun for her. I, on the other hand, look at everything twice, dissect the situation to bits, and even then I step back and say no way am I doing that! Still it finds me, the aftermath of risk taking that is and not of the good variety either.
One situation comes to mind. I was in Asia and it was late at night, close to midnight I think. Someone told me that there was an easier way of getting back to where I needed to go and instead of taking a taxi, I decided to take a bus. They didn’t tell me that it would involve standing alone at a bus stop in front of a cemetery! It was dark, there was no traffic going up and down the road and it was spooky! I could hear movement behind me and I could feel the hair standing up on the back of my neck. Luckily the bus came and I got on with no problems. Was there something out there in the darkness? More specifically was it human or other-worldly? I’ll never know and I don’t want to know!
It was a risk I took and I learned my lesson to never do it again! I think that I have a good head on my shoulders and I look carefully before I jump and I have taken that proverb to heart and will continue to do so in all aspects of my life. Call it boring or whatever but it works to keep me out of trouble.
Daily writing prompt
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?
“Quiet the mind and the soul will speak.” Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati
An important quote that speaks to the importance of quieting the mental chatter that runs rampant in our daily lives. Meditation takes us back to the quiet within. It is a practice that tames the mind and one that gives us access to deeper wisdom and intuition.
In Buddhism, “meditation is a core practice that involves training the mind to achieve a state of calmness, clarity, and insight, ultimately leading towards enlightenment and liberation from suffering.”
It has been said that the Buddha meditated for 49 days under the Bodhi tree to gain enlightenment, however, we don’t have to take it to that extreme to reap the benefits. Starting out with 10 minutes a day helps to quiet some of the chatter. I do 30 minutes a day. Find a quiet space, sit down with legs crossed, if that is next to impossible, you can sit with legs outstretched. Close your eyes and go within. Concentrating on the Third Eye Chakra helps to keep unwanted thoughts at bay. They will enter, it’s only normal, acknowledge and let go. Where’s the Third Eye Chakra? It is located in the center of the forehead between the eyebrows. It is said to regulate sleep and some say it has “the ability to see beyond the physical realm and access deeper levels of consciousness.”
All fine and good but my goal is to quiet the mind, give it respite from the constant chatter and to smack it down from the constant negative self-talk as well. Meditation has helped me to do just that. Combine meditation with deep breathing and you have a sleep-inducer of the highest order! Take a deep breath to the count of four and release to the count of six or eight. It works wonders. Don’t get agitated if your mind does hoops and refuses to settle down, given time it will. Patience is required so don’t give up too quickly. I started out with 10 minutes of meditation and have worked my way to 30 minutes a day. It is doable.
“Meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet. It’s a way of entering into the quiet that’s already there.” Deepak Chopra
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“The goal of meditation isn’t to control your thoughts, it’s to stop letting them control you.” Unknown
I don’t know if I would call it a risk but perhaps it was. I lost a friend a couple of years ago. We were very close and our lives revolved around each other. He was a good person with a very good heart and he taught me how to live again after the divorce.
However, his life on earth was short. He got very sick and his body was shutting down. There was no cure in sight and the person I once knew, the tall, strapping giant of a man was down to skin and bones. He was unrecognizable but the spirit remained. He gave me the task of pulling the plug when the time came. I couldn’t do it but there was no other choice. It meant pain, lots of it and him lost in a world that was unknown to me if it continued. Finally, I said go ahead. It took tremendous courage and the risk? I wasn’t sure if the decision was the right one.
The meds were stopped and it was just a matter of time. It took two weeks until his heart stopped beating. I hugged him the day before but he was already gone. I’ve asked myself this question many times, “Did I do the right thing? Could I have kept him here a little longer?” More importantly, “Do I regret giving them the go ahead?” Part of me still fights with the answers coming back but the part that knows better is at peace with the decision. I know he is in a better place and pain is a thing of the past for him. These days I see him flying with full-fledged wings as he was meant to be. They say the good die young and in his case that’s a true statement.
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