inspirational – Page 4

LOVE

It is elusive, it doesn’t always show up and when it does, it may not stay forever. That is a given but still we seek it, we want the feeling that says all is well, we are loved and protected AND we want it to paint our world in colors of the rainbow or whatever color love brings. It doesn’t matter if it looks and feels like cubic zirconia, the shine is all that matters for a while anyways. The problem is, we seek this elusive commodity like a heat seeking missile but a warm willing body is not enough, it needs substance to keep it going and that’s where the iffiness, the wishy-washiness and dead as a doornail comes in.

Have you ever fallen in love with the wrong person? I’ll guarantee that all of us have at one time or another. I’ve taken that journey many times over. Each time, I tell myself I’ll do better the next time around and each time I watch the worthless relationship go up in flames. I’m like a gardener who had planted seeds and one who is waiting to see what the outcome would be. The hope is that all the care, energy and time would yield a bumper crop but no matter how hard I tried, that plant showed up poorly and died along the way. It got brown and shriveled and no amount of trying to revive it brought signs of life back into it. Yet, I held on because of the invested time, love and energy that had gone into it and I wanted some kind of return when there was none to be had.

It was time to let it go. Put it down to wasted energy, pull it out by the roots and make room for something new to grow. Something which is more conducive and is willing to grow under your care. Bad love like bad seeds are just that, there is no rescuing what doesn’t want to be rescued. Let it go.

Love is defined as, “a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust.” verywellmind.com

If some of those behavior traits are missing and keeps on coming up missing, then you need to step back, reevaluate and weigh the consequences of such a relationship. Do not make an unworthy person a priority in your life and toxic relationships are just that, the poison starts slowly but it spreads quickly. Examples of toxic behavior are cheating and carrying on other relationships while in an ongoing relationship and pretending it is a covert operation. The liars and control freaks need to take a hike and those who show no respect for the person they’re with are a waste of time and space. Add to that the ones who can look you in the eye and swear that nothing is going on when you know otherwise should be shown the door quickly. No time should be wasted on them. If you’ve got one of these cubic zirconia types on your hands, remember life is too short for hoping and wishing, remember you’re a diamond so you have no time and energy to be wasted on fakes. Make room for someone who is willing to thrive in your garden and put yesterday’s mistakes behind you.

“Something I just recently learned was that chased love is not love. If you have to run after it, talk it into staying, remind it of your value, fight alone for the both of you, issue ultimatums, or test it, it is not love. It’s not love, it’s not happiness, it is not fair, it’s not healthy, the only thing it is…..is a waste of time.” Jessica James

I heard someone put it this way as well but not in exactly these words. Why do you have a junk car parked on your property when you’ve got a Ferrari circling your property? Have the wreck towed away and make room for the new, something better at best. Even if there isn’t anyone new on the horizon right now, give it time. In the meantime work on being a worthy person, worthy of love and one who deserves the best as far as love is concerned. Anything less is an absolute no-go!

“Some people will only come into your life to teach you what love is not. And when that happens, I hope you know when to walk away.” F. E. Marie

Have an amazing day.

Change Your Strategy

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“Failure is hard. But turn those failures into learning experiences, so that you’ll look back and be happy that you failed, because you gained more knowledge from that experience. Sometimes, it’s simply an indication to change your strategy instead of giving up completely.” Albert Rogers

“Change your strategy” is often used in the business world to place emphasis on a module that is not working so it’s time to regroup and refocus your energy into bringing in new options to make whatever is not working into a workable one. This concept works in real-life as well. If something doesn’t work, change it. Seems like a great idea at first glance but hard to put into action if you love the ‘plan’ you’ve put into action and and are dead set against changing it. If you’re someone who doesn’t like change like yours truly here, it is a concept that is hard to comprehend let alone to work with.

“Waiting for something outside you to change before you change is a broken strategy. Fix it by deciding to be someone different and do something different. Transformation happens from the inside out if you take action.” Unknown

Taking that into account, it seems like the most sensible way to go about changing failure into a success story. The problem is you must want to. It’s not going to work any other way. Pinpoint the problem, refocus your energy, find ways to take a failure and change it into a winning solution and put it into action. If you think you’re doing everything right and you still don’t understand why you’re failing then it’s time to really look at what you’re doing and find a different way of doing it. There’s more than one way to skin a cat as the euphemism goes and no matter how offensive that might be, being a cat lover myself, it just means there are other ways of doing something. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Be open to change and change your strategy. However, there are times when you can do everything possible until you’re blue in the face and still the same old failure concept comes knocking at your door and if that’s the case, do not despair. You’ll get there, just keep trying.

Learn to roll with the punches, keep getting back up when life knocks you down and never ever give up.

“When you face failures, don’t change your goal, change your strategy.” Vivek Bindra

I’ve experienced life in all its wonderful and not so wonderful facets and the one that I hate or hated the most was change. My motto was, “Why fix something if it ain’t broke.” The actual thought behind that was, “I like where I’m at, good or bad and change is for the birds!” It took years of resistance, falling down, refusing to get back up and digging my heels in AND screaming, “Leave me alone!” to realize that change is an integral part of life. It teaches us in a not so nice way that it’s needed, falling makes you gain experience and you learn that YOU are not God. So move along, embrace change before it’s too late. I learned it the hard way and I still bristle when I see ‘change’ coming around but these days I’m ready to embrace it, learn what it has to offer and to accept it for what it is. A lesson learned because it has to be learned.

“Failure is nothing more than a chance to revise your strategy.” Unknown

Oops! I’ve got to run. I see ‘change’ approaching wearing a smile on its face and with bells clanging and I’m not in the mood for it today. Just kidding.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY.

Time is Flying!

Time is not flying because I am having fun but because I’m caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts, not too good ones either! My son is getting ready to fly the coop and in a week or so, he’ll be headed to parts unknown and I’ll be at my wit’s end trying to keep my sanity intact!

A friend asked me, “Do you remember how it was when you flew the coop? Was it scary? The important thing is you made it, so remember that and know that he’ll be alright.” Easier said than done folks.

I know he has achieved much in his young life including finishing up his studies with a better than average grade. He landed three jobs at the get-go even though he had never worked a day in his life! I couldn’t believe it and now the fourth one is on the horizon. He has managed to carry on with his life all on his own without “mommy” hovering over him. More specifically, he has lived alone for over 4 or 5 years and made it. He SHOULD be able to do this as well, right?

Some parts say of course and it will be a breeze. Other parts, the ones that gather strength and let me play through the repertoire of what could go wrong scenarios are digging in their heels and showing me exactly what could go wrong. Just when I think I’ve got a handle on one thing, they push a few more my way. Walks in nature have helped but when I think I’ve cleared my head and walk back in the door, they are there to meet me head-on!

This is going to be a hard one for me. Letting go has never been easy but this will be especially hard since it feels like I’ll be missing a part of me. Is he ok? Is he safe? IS HE DOING WELL? Unknowns that will require both faith and strength to overcome. I’ve done it so far and I think I will and am able to do what is asked of me. The will is there but the “unwilling parts” need to help me along.

This too shall pass? Hopefully, fingers and toes crossed.

Let It Go

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons to learn in life. Holding on is somehow innately built into the human system and we are wired to hold on when things go wrong. At least, that is the case with me. If only I had the ability to “let go” when I knew that there was no point in holding on. Life would be so much easier right? Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier. I am an overthinker, an overachiever and a hold on with a death grip type of person. At times I am well aware that the ship has set sail and is out of sight but I keep looking longingly out to sea hoping it would return and everything would be alright but most times, it never does and still I refuse to let go.

“One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go.” Unknown

The hard thing about letting go is the fear factor. The unknown is always scary. We tend to fixate on what was instead of realizing that it is done with, a thing of the past and it’s time to move on. The pieces remain of what once was, be it a lesson learned or pieces to build a future with but only if we stop looking at that closed door and turn towards the one that is open BUT going through it is like leading a horse to water but making it drink is another story altogether.

Shannon Alder says:

“Forget what hurt you but NEVER forget what it taught you.”

If only it was that easy. Speaking from experience and being the proverbial holder on, I know that there were times when I dug in my heels and refused to budge because it was what was behind that closed door that I wanted. It didn’t matter that it was bad for me and it didn’t matter that it was gone, water under the bridge so to speak and still I held on for dear life. I cried a waterfall when I could have saved those tears if only I had taken the first step to go through that open door. Freedom comes in letting go which in turn gives you the ability to fly because nothing is weighing you down anymore. I am learning not to stay in one place too long, to look back and to gather the lessons I have learned and when the time is right to keep moving forward. Life is for living, not just existing and being stuck in one place is an absolute no go. It is in moving forward that you learn the power of letting go, the power of living again.

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” Oprah Winfrey

LET GO!

Have an amazing day.

Finding Yourself

“Finding yourself” is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a child and adult that became your beliefs about who you are. “Finding yourself” is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation of remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you. Unknown

I love this quote because it speaks to the truth of the matter. Quite often we ask who am I? How do I find myself again? These questions often arise after an especially hard or traumatic time and you are feeling lost. Feeling lost and not seeing a clear path ahead is normal, all of us go through it at one point or another. However, staying lost in a jungle of emotions for long periods of time is concerning and needs looking into.

Cultural conditioning does play a big part in how you see yourself. “It’s your upbringing!” I’m sure you’ve heard that one before, I have. I equate the way I react to certain things to my rigid Christian upbringing. Even though I bucked at all the rules and regulations, I couldn’t get away from my conditioning as a young Christian girl. You can take the girl out of that environment but you can’t take the deeply ingrained teachings out of the girl. So it was and is with me.

People’s opinions is a powerful tool indeed. There are good, not so good and extremely biased ones and they can help to build or tear you down. Opinions are a dime a dozen but when used as a weapon, they have the potential to hurt and to fashion your outlook on life and yourself. If you are faced with constant negative feedback, you become conditioned to expect more of the same. It’s the same for positive feedback and so people do have a hold on how you see the world. It’s easy to say let it roll off your back but some of those opinions can make or break you and that is the problem.

In the dating world, you come across many different types of men. The ones who make my skin crawl are the ones who expect “something” from the get go. By Date 3, you get the feeling that you’re expected to put out or else you are “COMPLICATED!” Heard that one before? That is an opinion purely designed to make you feel like there is something totally wrong with you if you don’t. I don’t “put out” so I’ve heard that term applied to yours truly many times over. Each time I squirm when I hear it. Two days ago a friend showed up at my door. Friend to me but he’s on another track altogether. First words out of his mouth, “Why don’t you take me upstairs?” And when he saw the look on my face he went on to add, “YOU ARE COMPLICATED!” This time around I didn’t take it sitting down. “Listen, just because you can’t get what you want does not mean I’m complicated. Besides, I’m not accepting your viewpoint of me!”

He didn’t see that one coming. He gulped like a goldfish out of water and before he could say another word, I showed him the door. The moral of this story is, you alone decide which opinions get to you, which ones you keep and which ones you throw out the door! Life is simpler that way. The power is in your hands and yes at times you have to grow a thick skin.

Inaccurate conclusions arising from what you’ve faced through your journey is another one that will make you question your self-worth and who you are as a person. Those inaccurate conclusions can be changed. It is up to you to change how you feel about yourself but only you can do that. Finding yourself takes work and it is a journey of self-discovery and self-awareness.

According to psychologytoday.com, it is a crucial step because it is the key to living a fulfilling and authentic life. Reflect on your life experiences, both positive and negative ones. What have you learned from them? How have they shaped you? Embrace your strengths, accept your weaknesses and show up in the world as your genuine self.

LEARN TO FLY AGAIN.

Press Reset

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“Don’t forget power in resetting, on any given day…you are allowed to start over, if you feel like you’re going down the wrong path, RESET.” Reyna Biddy

When the sun goes down and you find yourself staring at another day ending and you realize that progress is not being made, hit the “RESET” button. You are not stuck even though it might feel that way at times but you have the power to change whatever it is you want to change in your life. You need the mindset, know what it is you’re after, hit “reset” meaning clear the slate and start over again. .

It is not that simple I know. In fact, it might be one of the hardest things you’ll have to do because changing your mindset is not easy and it is not simple either. Old habits die hard and sometimes they are hard to give up because there is comfort in hanging on to things that feel comfortable even if in reality they are not. Laziness, putting out the least effort possible and waiting for the world to reward you for nothing in particular is not going to work and it has never worked.

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” C. S. Lewis

It takes YOU to change your place in the world. Where you stand, how high or low you are in the grand scheme of things all depends on you but one thing is clear, progress needs hard work. It means falling down a few more times than you wanted to but always keeping your eyes on the prize. If you want that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you’ve got to go after it. It is human nature to want to make life simple but it has other plans for us. Life is about learning from your mistakes, saying “no” to easy and knowing that you’ve got to throw yourself into “hard” to make it happen. Falling down is part and parcel of this thing called life but standing back up and moving forward gives you another chance, another opportunity to reach your end goal. You need to be better and you need to set yourself apart from the ordinary to make it. Sparkles and sunshine sounds good but it is going to take grit and determination to get you there.

Hitting “reset” and doing the same old things over and over again is not going to do it either. You need to “refocus” to get things going again. If something is not working, focus on what it is and change it. Try different angles and attitudes and at some point you’ll get it right, at least I hope I will at some point in time. Until then, I’ll hit “reset” as many times as I need to and I’ll tell the “victim mentality” I carry around with me which keeps me from achieving my goals to hit the door as well!

So if you’re standing where I have been many many times before and watching the sun set on another fruitless day, hit “RESET.” Tomorrow is on its way, it’s a new day to work your magic on a blank slate and to have your name written there as a success story. It’s all up to you.

Reset, refocus, readjust, restart, as many times as you need to. JUST NEVER GIVE UP!” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Living Your Best Life

“Put yourself first on your priority list and watch your life get better.” Unknown

One interpretation of living your best life is to “live a life that makes you happy and also one that allows you to live your full potential.” quora.com

Concentrating on yourself is of the utmost importance. If you want to live your best life, put yourself first and foremost on that priority list. It starts with YOU and if you can get your act together everything else falls into place and even if it doesn’t, give it time to right itself out. In the meantime you’re standing where you should be and that is at the top of your list.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” Unknown

Each day do what is necessary to get yourself back on track. If you’re down on your knees, stand back up. If all you see is grey clouds and no sunshine, make your own sunshine. Put on a smile, get dressed and go out and shine! Never underestimate the power of a smile, it does wonders for your psyche and your soul. So make sure to wear one even if you don’t feel like it.

Talk to yourself. Tell yourself, “I love you!” Sounds crazy? Not really. Sometimes or rather more often than not, we forget the person we carry around with us. The special someone who stands by us through all our big and little moments of sadness, joy, heartbreak and everything else that goes to make up this life of ours. Show it some LOVE. I’ve started doing this practice of positive self-talk and I say, “I love you,” “I’m thankful for your support,” and “I’m grateful for all the things you do for me.” After I finish I give myself a hug, a make-believe one but a hug nonetheless. This has proved to be an absolute game changer and within a few minutes I feel calmer and “happiness” courses through my whole being. Not always but that is okay too.

Here’s another important point. If you want to live your best life, don’t beat yourself up. You’re beautiful as you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! We are our own worst enemy and I know I am. I often tell myself, “Your hair looks bad today!” Or that little spot on my face has taken gigantic proportions and is now staring back at me with a grin. Sometimes I say, “I just don’t like how I look!” I’m learning to tone down the rhetoric and to be kinder and gentler to myself. These days if someone says, “You look good,” I accept it wholeheartedly without resorting to, “but that’s not what I saw this morning as I looked in the mirror!” Vanity can be a downer at times but learning to accept yourself flaws and all is the way to go.

One Day It Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Unknown

Go out and live your very best life and while you’re doing it don’t forget to have an amazing day!

Time

“Time and tide waits for no man.” Geoffrey Chaucer

I was discussing time with a friend and told him jokingly that this year I am going to hold on tight and make time go as slowly as possible. He laughed because he knew as well as I did that holding onto time is an impossible task and the truth is it flies and trying to keep up is the only thing to do.

Zig Ziglar said, “Lack of direction not lack of time is the problem. We all have 24-hour days.”

True but sometimes it seems that the days fly by and just when you think it is the beginning of the week, lo and behold, it’s the weekend again. When we look back, it is clear that we waste a lot of time on things that don’t matter, on people we shouldn’t be wasting our time on and perhaps just sitting around and wishing and hoping that things were different. I’ve started a routine to make the days count because lost time is just that. You are not getting it back ever again. I’ve started writing down everything I do during the course of the day. There are no hard and fast rules so I give myself permission to write down my thoughts and feelings as well as improvement ideas. Surprisingly, I’ve been keeping up and getting a lot accomplished and some days I pat myself on the back and say, “Great job, you’re giving time a run for the money! Keep it up.” It really has slowed time down for me. Try this approach, you might just like it.

“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” Michael Altshuler

This year I want to take the time to smell the roses which means taking more time for myself mentally and physically. I want to do things that will bring an improvement to and will enrich my life. I am not going to let a day go by without doing something productive. That said, I am going to find the time to relax, not going to sweat the small stuff and let time keep up with me instead of the other way around! Doable? Anything is doable if you put your mind to it.

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” J.R.R. Tolkien

Have an amazing day.

Contrasts (Archives)

“To me, a rich and satisfying life means one full of contrast. Give me sleep ins. And soft rains. Coffee shops and conversation. But also adrenaline and adventure. And drunken bellows to the stars. I am determined to embrace this extravagant life for all that it has to offer.” Beau Taplin

It wasn’t a great day for a walk, grey clouds were gathering and as promised rain was on the way. What a difference a day makes, weather-wise. Yesterday it was picture perfect, warm and absolutely mesmerizing but today it had turned tables and was ready to show another side, a grey and wet one. There was no beauty to speak off as I trudged nonchalantly through the muddy and leaf-strewn path heading for the forest line. Oh, but I was wrong for I had only to open my mind and my senses to see the contrasts between a beautiful day and a bad one. To my surprise, each had its own brand of beauty if only I wasn’t so quick to pass judgement.

The not so subtle rustling of the leaves caught in the interplay of wind and absolute silence was balm for my anxious soul. I needed peace but somehow it was missing today. Glancing into the forest, I noticed that it was quiet, too quiet. The trees were tight-knit and hidden in shadows of its own making echoing the onslaught of rain that was to come. I usually don’t like walking close to the forest because a feeling of unease usually envelops me and my senses are usually on high alert as it was today. There was no room to relax. I walked on in silence and in the distance, the hoot of an owl could be heard. I welcomed the distraction and made my way to the stream. It’s gorgeous in spring, its banks overflowing with golden daffodils but today it droned on in silence, devoid of color as the slow-moving water made its way to the pond where the storks gather. Today, there was not one stork to be seen. They too had gone hiding from the oncoming force of nature. Standing at the tiny wooden bridge, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It was peaceful but the unease was still there. Enclosed spaces are not my cup of tea and neither are deep dark forests. I moved on, got back on the path and made it to the fields.

My mind began to relax as I took in the wild open spaces before me. I was free again and standing at the bottom of the hill as I took in the panoramic view. It was grandiose even through there was no sun to speak of, only a light purple haze enveloping the distant mountains. It was beautiful just the same. Just a different kind of beautiful.

Contrasts are necessary to show the light and dark aspects of life and today nature decided to show my jaded mind, come rain or sunshine, there is always something beautiful about each aspect if only I would open my mind to it and embrace it with open arms to reap the full benefits. The rest of the walk was uneventful, an ordinary walk but my mind knew that if I kept my eyes peeled, I would capture the extraordinary. It was just a matter of time and if nature was willing to throw it my way. As the first droplets of rain hit the muddy path, I pulled my jacket tighter around me and ran back home leaving nature to do what it does best.

The ebb and flow of life was at work and who was I a mere mortal to question the order of the day or how it was brought about to life. Just accept and enjoy was the message and I bowed my head to its all-knowing wisdom. I was at peace.

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY

Trust the Journey (Archives)

Mental Note:

Trust your journey.

“No matter how many detours we take or delays we encounter, we will always be led back to where we’re meant to be.” Nicole Spindler

Beautifully said but trusting the journey you’re on is hard and accepting that everything will turn out for the best is harder still. Humans want control of the situation or at least I do. I don’t like the idea of some unseen force manipulating the outcome and that is a frightening concept for me. However, if truth be told, perhaps there is no other way. You’ve heard the saying, if it is meant to be, it will be and what if we just let go and let it unfold as it was meant to be. A doable thing? Speaking from my standpoint, that is next to impossible for me.

“Don’t let what happens or what doesn’t happen bother you. Life has a way of rearranging perfectly so that what you truly need can come together.” Unknown

If I step aside that is. My problem is that I want to know what is coming up or what life has in store for me before it comes up. I spend a lot of time overthinking the negatives even before it has happened but that is human nature I suppose. Much of my time is wasted on projections that never take place and if and when it happens I am fully capable of handling the outcome.

Trusting the journey I am on demands that I accept what comes my way. “Be quiet” whispers the all-knowing power of the unknown, the universe or God in his wisdom or whatever you believe in. It says, “Let me work this out for you, I’ve got this and you need to trust in the journey. You’ll be fine.” The untrusting part within screams, “I’m afraid! What if I fail or I fall flat on my face or there is no getting up from this?” That too is human nature.

“Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly, “You got this, keep going.” Unknown

Perhaps, trusting the journey is not about rushing, not pushing and shoving and not about stomping your feet and demanding but that it is more about accepting that everything is being worked out behind the scenes and you just need to sit back and accept and know that the outcome will be exactly as it was meant to be. It doesn’t mean you have to stop working on yourself, putting effort out on what needs to be done and making your way through life, it means knowing that there is a higher force who is on your side. Not so simple? I know, it isn’t for me either. What if there is a higher power working on your behalf and it has got your back? Wonderful don’t you think? Now, I just need to trust in that concept. Good luck you say? I know but it’s worth a try.

“Trust the process, trust your journey. You are going TO BE OKAY.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.