life – Page 18 – Site Title

Living Your Best Life (Archives)

“Put yourself first on your priority list and watch your life get better.” Unknown

One interpretation of living your best life is to “live a life that makes you happy and also one that allows you to live your full potential.” quora.com

Concentrating on yourself is of the utmost importance. If you want to live your best life, put yourself first and foremost on that priority list. It starts with YOU and if you can get your act together everything else falls into place and even if it doesn’t, give it time to right itself out. In the meantime you’re standing where you should be and that is at the top of your list.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” Unknown

Each day do what is necessary to get yourself back on track. If you’re down on your knees, stand back up. If all you see is grey clouds and no sunshine, make your own sunshine. Put on a smile, get dressed and go out and shine! Never underestimate the power of a smile, it does wonders for your psyche and your soul. So make sure to wear one even if you don’t feel like it.

Talk to yourself. Tell yourself, “I love you!” Sounds crazy? Not really. Sometimes or rather more often than not, we forget the person we carry around with us. The special someone who stands by us through all our big and little moments of sadness, joy, heartbreak and everything else that goes to make up this life of ours. Show it some LOVE. I’ve started doing this practice of positive self-talk and I say, “I love you,” “I’m thankful for your support,” and “I’m grateful for all the things you do for me.” After I finish I give myself a hug, a make-believe one but a hug nonetheless. This has proved to be an absolute game changer and within a few minutes I feel calmer and “happiness” courses through my whole being. Not always but that is okay too.

Here’s another important point. If you want to live your best life, don’t beat yourself up. You’re beautiful as you are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! We are our own worst enemy and I know I am. I often tell myself, “Your hair looks bad today!” Or that little spot on my face has taken gigantic proportions and is now staring back at me with a grin. Sometimes I say, “I just don’t like how you look!” I’m learning to tone down the rhetoric and to be kinder and gentler with myself. These days if someone says, “You look good,” I accept it wholeheartedly without resorting to, “but that’s not what I saw this morning as I looked in the mirror!” Vanity can be a downer at times but learning to accept yourself flaws is the way to go.

One Day It Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Unknown

Go out and live your very best life and while you’re doing it don’t forget to have an amazing day!

Paradise!

I love everything or almost everything about where I live. It is like living in a place where time stood still and the “old ways” are still present. The place is green, lush, and pristine at times.

The quiet is contagious and fills your whole being. I’ve lived in places where the hustle and bustle of city life was a constant. Along with it came the noise and “thinking” the kind you do and need for writing was next to impossible. Here, it is the perfect place to get your creative juices flowing and as I sit here at my computer, it faces the big window and outside there is a tall willow tree its branches softly dancing in the breeze. The sun is shining and NOT a sound can be heard! It is pure magic.

I’ve written about the fields where I wander and it takes me places. A muddled mind filled with thoughts that don’t need to be there are wiped away as I set foot on that almost sacred space. The mountains in the distance are often shrouded in haze but they are there silently watching. The open fields against a blue sky is beautiful and the seasonal plants and trees never fail to show up on time. It’s almost like they are cued to take off when the right time comes. No work on your part is needed. The pond in the woods is beautiful and it is where the herons come to roost. In spring, the slender streams criss -crossing the forest area put on a spectacular display of daffodils all along the way. In winter, it is bare but the beauty still remains but in a subdued way.

The sleepy little village doesn’t have much to offer but if you dive deeper there is more than enough to boggle the mind. The old architecture, the beautifully manicured and well-kept graveyard, the churches with their tiny pews, and the tiny little shops, they call them convenience stores here, all go to make up a place that is carved out of history but no matter how old it gets, the beauty of a place steeped in folklore and quiet elegance still remains.

I am grateful for this place and I call it home now. I love the symphony of the birds in the trees as dawn approaches and the late evening songs as they announce the end of another wonderful day. I love the horses that sometimes walk the cobblestone streets and I LOVE the beautifully kept gardens and how the people, especially the old folks who spend most of their summer days tending their gardens with such care and love and even if their backs are bent with age, those gardens keep them going. It is something to do and it is clear that they live for those days in the sun where planting and harvesting becomes important. When winter rolls around, they go indoors and take a well-deserved rest.

I am fully blessed! I love everything about this place and I can’t see myself going back to where life was a constant mad dash and my mind was filled with the unnecessary. I hope that never happens.

Daily writing prompt

What do you love about where you live?

View all responses

Your Choice

Happiness is a choice although some may disagree. I feel that it starts from within and works its way out. It is going to take work as with everything else in life that is worth having.

“Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not.”

Valerie Bertinelli.

If you’re looking at outside factors to validate your existence, if you’re waiting for people to give you what you need to be happy, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Happiness is a choice you make and therein lies the secret of being happy.

It has been said that, “true happiness isn’t a destination, but a way of living….cultivated through intentional practices.” What do you need to be happy? Money? Love? Freedom? Peace? The answer is that it takes all of those things and more. However, there are some key secrets to leading a happy life. They are, “prioritizing positive relationships, practicing gratitude, engaging in meaningful activities, and managing stress effectively.”

These are all good and positive ways you can achieve happiness and to keep it there for a while. However, it is not a switch that you turn on and off. If you want the long-lasting kind of “happiness” you need to make positive choices that help to foster dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and andorphins, the happy hormones. It is something you need to work towards and things like developing resilience, setting intentions and making good choices help to influence “your emotional state and overall well-being.”

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama

It takes time to cultivate. Daily habits of the positive nature help to get you there. Being kind to yourself helps to strengthen that happiness factor and training your mind to stay positive all help to see life not through rose-tinted glasses but for what it is. Work, work and more work!

“Every choice comes with a consequence. Once you make a choice, you must accept responsibility. You cannot escape the consequences of your choices, whether you like them or not.” Roy T. Bennett

One small step at a time and remember that with discomfort comes growth.

Have a “happiness-filled” day!

The Haircut Trauma!

I finally got my haircut! Walking into the salon with a peace offering in hand, a box of chocolates for being a no show the other day, I had a smile carefully plastered on my face and was greeted with the same.

She was busy working on another client but turned and went, “Wow! Look at you! Your hair is sooo long!” with a sparkle in her eye. She has cut and styled my hair for many years now and I’m learning that she loves long hair! Everytime, I walk in that salon, I come out looking the same!

Anyway, I handed her the peace offering and a grin crossed her face.

HER: “Thank you! You shouldn’t have. Take a seat and I’ll be right with you!.”

I took my seat and out of the inner sanctum, a young guy appeared, not sure could have been a girl and said, “Follow me.” I was shown to the stylist’s chair and then asked, “Can I get you some tea?” This is normal procedure for a salon that charges an arm and a leg for a haircut. I opted for water but he/she brought me some tea as well.

Someone else walked out and ushered me to the shampoo bowl. What followed was heaven! My hair was shampooed, conditioned and massaged! Those were all the good parts. Then I was back in the chair and prepped for a haircut. The stylist appeared all smiles.

HER: “What can I do for you today? I wouldn’t take too much off, looks good as it is.”

ME: “It’s too long. I do want quite a bit taken off.”

A look crossed her face which said, “We’ll see about that!”

She made all the motions of clipping and trimming. Immediately I noticed that not much was being cut off. Then started the small talk. This is done to distract you! She fluffed, she measured and she trimmed, not cut, but trimmed. Then she handed me the mirror and said, “Looks lovely. Long hair suits you!”

It looked the same as when I walked in! Seeing the look of dismay on my face, she said quickly, “Let’s dry it.”

I squeaked, “It looks the same.” You’ve got to understand that in Europe, hairstylists are like Gods over here, just like the doctors and such! They know best. So, she proceeded to dry and kept saying, “It’s going to look good.” I think she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

The finished product looked a tad better but I still looked like I was all hair and very little else! I wanted to say, take it off another 3 inches! Instead, I walked out of there sans an arm and a leg and very little to show for it.

This morning I washed out all the stuff they put on there as part of the haircut experience. Lo and behold, the truth was staring me in the face. I was still “all hair” but it was shaped a little better and instead of my hair hanging long and flat, it seemed to have more life to it. However, I wanted it shorter, much shorter and the only way I was going to get that is if I did it myself!

It’s done for now. Live and let live until the next time around. Did I tell you I hate haircuts? I hate them just like the dental visits and all the things that go to make up what is needed to put your best face forward!

Have an amazing day.

YOU ARE IMPORTANT (Archives)

Quite often, we let the people we interact with on a daily basis, the world around us with its idiosyncrasies and events that happen to us interpret how we feel, how we react and how much worth we give it and if we are important or not in the grand scheme of things. I am guilty as charged.

The Dalai Lama said it best, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

Yet we do it time and time again. Just yesterday, a girlfriend broke up with her so called boyfriend. He was for all purposes a NO-GO as far as I am concerned and it was clear for all to see including her but she is in a difficult place nonetheless. Finding out she was “not important” is a devastating cross to bear even if she saw it coming. Yet, this is nothing new. We hand over how important we are in a relationship to the other person and forget in the process that YOU as a person matter and you define how important you are and what you will stand for and what you won’t put up with.

“When you are important to another person, that person will always find a way to make time for you. No excuses, no lies and no broken promises.” Unknown

Relationships are hard enough as it is to navigate without having to deal with the “invisible man,” meaning the guy who says he loves you but when it comes down to showing you that you are important, he shows time and again that YOU are an afterthought and as far as the importance scale goes you are on the bottom rung of the ladder. No guessing game needed here. You will know and it is up to you to put yourself front and center and say, enough is enough!

“You are important and you matter.

Your voice matters.

Your life matters.

Your feelings matter.

Your story matters.

ALWAYS.” Unknown

Let me add to that. You as a person matters and don’t take yourself for granted either.

One Day It Just Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself.

You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile.

You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Steve Maraboli

Finally,

“Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher.” Unknown

You are well worth the effort and don’t let someone show you otherwise. Your worth is determined by you so stand tall and show the world that YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

Have an amazing day.

CAN’T!

I don’t know about many people but I do know that “can’t” is up there on my list of words that jump up and scare the hell out of me!

When it shows up, it means that I have to face something of the unsavory nature and not to my liking. I don’t like a lot of things, I’m a stick in the mud as I have said before but that’s not all. Fear steps in and “can’t” shows up before anything else. I dig my heels in and refuse to budge. Then, I go within and come up with excuses as to why I can’t. Believe me, there are plenty of reasons why and it doesn’t have to make sense either! It’s my tried and true method to fight whatever it is that is causing the problem and to keep changes at bay.

I’ve lived with “can’t” all my life and it has made my life miserable. Things could have been a lot easier if I had looked at the problem like any normal human being would do but instead I take the other route. The crazy route where I sweat bullets and convince myself that I just can’t do what is asked of me.

Making headway into this problem took a long time. My journey of self-discovery has helped but it still crops up when I least expect it. Old habits die hard as they say. Coming back to the Daily Prompt, I do think that there are people out there who have the same problem I do. We just don’t like changes but unfortunately, life is not going to take a “NO” for an answer. Learning to live with what comes your way, accepting the changes and taking small steps to change your perception of things does help. Here’s the thing, most of the problems I thought I couldn’t handle turned out to be the ones that taught me how capable I am of doing exactly that.

Daily writing prompt

What is a word you feel that too many people use?

View all responses

Chachi’s Say!

Waking up early this morning, I had a plan in mind. Breakfast, take out the trash, clean-up a little, put on my sweatpants, t-shirt and head on to where I feel the most comfortable and where my creative juices get to rev up. I did all of that except for the walk. It came to a screeching halt when I took the plastic trash bin out and realized that it was HOT!

I checked the weather forecast and it is going to be hot today. I’m not into sweaty weather so I came back in with another plan in mind. I have an appointment tomorrow so why not look my best. I decided to slater on the new black mask which is supposed to clean out any unwanted stuff on your face. Thirty minutes and your skin can breathe again. Instead of getting started right away, I decided to get lunch going. It was still early but I love to plan everything ahead of time.

On the menu today is stir-fried Chinese style noodles with Bok Choy and minced or ground meat. The sauce is spicy made more so by the addition of Gochuyang Hot Pepper Paste. This is my go to now when I want things spicy. It does the job pretty well and it tastes great. Anyway, I went out to the garden to see if I could add more stuff to the pan. Sure enough, the chilies were ready. They look like Jalapeno peppers so I added one to the pan. The cherry tomatoes were ripe so I added a couple chopped up as well. Looks like it is going to be a good meal.

Then it was back upstairs and I put the mask on. Chachi, the little Munchkin, walked in and immediately took a step back. The look was somewhere between I can’t believe this and yucks!

HIM: “MOM, you need to get a grip on things! This look is not going to do if you want to attract your one and only.”

ME: “What do you know about that? Anyway, you don’t like any of the guys.”

HIM: “No, I don’t like any of them especially the cheesecake guy! I’m glad he is a no show now! Still the sloppy look and now this is an absolute no go.”

ME: “You’re far from an expert.”

HIM: “Back in the day…..”

ME: “Back in the day?!! What day?”

HIM: “I know things and this is not going to do. You look like the creature from the Black Lagoon!”

I picked him up and brought him downstairs and laid him gently in his basket by the window. Look out there, maybe Little Miss Ipanema is out and about. That’s his on and off girlfriend. She is all black with piercing green eyes and she is known as the village beauty amongst other things! She was sitting on the shed sunning herself but her eyes were trained on Chachi.

“I’m going back upstairs to get some peace. Don’t get any ideas about that little thing out there. She’s not for you!”

Just then she turned her eyes on me.

“Hey Chach, your mom’s a B I * * H! You are a pretty boy but that mother of yours looks like she could scare the hell out of anyone!”

That’s it. I’ve decided that she is not a suitable candidate or rather good girlfriend material for my little guy. So dream on about the pretty boy and that’s where it’s going to stay!

Just then, Chachi piped up.

“See I told you so. That look is not taking you anywhere!”

Just the start to another day in Chachi Land!

Have an amazing day.

This Thing Called Love (4)

Archives

We sat across from each other, his gaze direct but hooded and mine trying not to look at the face I knew so well. He looked older, a touch of grey showing at his temples and there is a beard now where there was none before. He is still tall and lanky but a slight pouch is clearly visible. There was a certain sadness emanating from him but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

We talked about the one thing that still binds us. He says, “I’m so proud of him. He’s learning to handle things on his own.” I nod, silence filling the air. Something inside me wanted to scream, “You weren’t there half the time! I was left holding the bag when you took off in search of greener pastures.” Instead, I keep my gaze averted and try desperately to hold on to the strength within. The one I’ve been building brick by brick since he left and I wasn’t about to let his words bring it all down crushing into nothingness. He has that effect on me. Why wouldn’t he? I had been married to him and our life together had lasted 16 years. We had started out as best friends and later when love stepped in, it led to marriage and parenthood. Somewhere along the way, he decided to let it all disintegrate and go up in flames when his EGO decided to step in and he let “arrogance” do the rest.

Staring at me, he asked, “How are you doing?” his voice tinged with concern. And then he said, “I’m not a bad guy.” I felt the tears cloud my eyes but I scrambled to keep my calm facade in place like my life depended on it! I said softly, “I’m fine.” He nodded.

He didn’t know that I had called myself, “damaged goods” when it went down. He didn’t know that I had called myself a bird with clipped wings and that I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror for a long time and neither did he know that the unbearable pain had made me put my heart under lock and key and to throw away the keys! So “I’m fine” doesn’t even begin to address all that I went through.

We continued as two strangers making empty conversation. Once we had talked about everything. Our talks had been filled with warmth, love and laughter but that was a long time ago when “love” meant something and “hurt” was a long ways off.

He uncrossed his long legs looking uncomfortable. We had stopped giving each other the meaningless hugs each time we met. Then he had stopped saying, “I still care about you.” I couldn’t bear hearing it anymore. So it was better this way.

Today, it was all about the boy we had brought into this world. Recently, he has been showing more interest in being a good father and I am thankful. Suddenly, he stood up and stretched as if the stilted conversation between us had drained him. I said, “Take care of him.” He answered softly, “I will.”

I walked him to the door and stepping outside, the fresh air felt good. He turned and looked at me again, his eyes speaking volumes. Something within me wanted to jump over the fence I had placed around myself and to say, “Take care of yourself.” I felt this prickling of sympathy for someone who had lost his way and I wanted him to know, “It was going to be alright.” I couldn’t. Smiling a weak smile, I closed the door behind me.

This thing called love is something I will never understand for as long as I live. I know it has the tendency to turn your world upside down and to take you on a roller coaster ride but “ordinary” it is not. Sometimes it walks in silently and has you in its grip and at other times it dies a sudden death and you don’t know why. They say love makes the world go around, it does, but it is also a conundrum and sometimes it is better left alone but when has that stopped us from approaching it throwing caution to the winds. Some loves are forever, some loves are too hard to bear, some loves break your heart in pieces and some “loves” are better left alone.

The Profession I Admire

I was never a highly ambitious person and in my younger days when others were dreaming of changing the world, I had my head in the clouds. A dreamer so to speak. I never thought in terms of one particular profession, I was all over the place.

Writing was something I loved and having published my first short story in a well-known magazine at the age of 16, I wanted to do that all the time. The “high” was addicting. However, even though the story made cover page, I learned that writing didn’t pay well and I also learned that not all who write are writers after getting my share of rejections. Anyway, I got $600 for that story, back then a pretty good sum but still not enough to make a living on. I kept writing but other things stepped in. I would go on to publish more than a 1,000 articles but all done from the sidelines while I pursued more lucrative options. University was where I thought I wanted to be someone. One of the things I admired was speechwriter for the President no less! Journalism was next on my radar. However, writing about the mundane and sometimes about murders which required your actual presence at crime scenes made me step back and I nixed that idea quickly!

Fashion Editor was next. It was fun at first. Celebs, supermodels and designers were all part of my job. Then it got boring! Now, I’m a published author. Where that will take me I don’t know. The book will be out at the end of August and who knows if it is a success or a flop. It’s wait and see now.

Oh, one thing I admired as a young girl were the nuns. Yes, the habit wearing ones. I wanted to be just like them. I glamorized that vocation and I wanted to be in the service of God. Yes, you guessed it. Some of those daily bible study lessons had rubbed off on me! Unfortunately, I grew up! The boys came a calling and being a nun went out the window as well. My eyes do light up when I see them on the streets now and then!

I think I still have my head in the clouds but not as much as I used to. I don’t have any specific profession I admire, but the next time around I want to work at the White House where there is never a dull moment and life is never the same day in and day out!

Daily writing prompt

What profession do you admire most and why?

View all responses

Things That Rattle!

Things that rattle can be used, “to describe things that are unsettling, unstable, or cause anxiety.”

Friday started out great. I was up early, the sun was out and I was ready to take a walk in nature. My mind was clear and devoid of unsettling stuff, the kind that accompanies me on my daily walks but yesterday, it had gone into hiding and for once, I was feeling like a blank slate not that it happens often. Most days that slate is overflowing with things that even Einstein would have a hard time figuring out.

Anyway, off I went to my favorite place in the world. The fields. It was quiet, calm and just waking up. However, the farmers were already there getting their tractors ready to break the silence. I waved and they waved back. Taking my usual route, I headed to the apple trees. Visibility was clear on both sides since the farmers had done their job of cutting down the Rapeseed plants. Claustrophobia was nowhere to be seen either. I did a quick walk and just as they started their engines, I headed back to tackle the day.

I was at peace and ready for another cup of coffee. The day was beginning on a good note. Just then, the phone started ringing, the sound jarring. It was too early for a phone call and probably nothing good I thought.

The voice on the other end sounded agitated.

SHE: “You forgot your appointment this morning.”

ME: “What appointment?”

SHE: “Your haircut appointment.”

Oh God! The rattling was taking off and the “peace” of a few minutes ago was shattered and in pieces at my feet!

A quick glance in my appointment book confirmed it but somehow I had the wrong date on it. The rattling was louder now. I apologized profusely and made a note to bring some chocolates the next time I showed up there.

The rest of the day took a deep dive because I was too busy wondering what I could do to make up to them. It’s funny how “small things,” can take you on a path of unrest, uneasiness, and total chaos! That blank slate was filling up at an alarming rate and not with anything of the good kind! Suddenly, the “new me” stepped in. The one who wants “peace” as her mainstay. No cape needed, all I had to do was to shut it down! The constant chattering was shown the door and not too ceremoniously either! I had made my peace with the situation and I will rectify it at a later point in time. Now it was enough. No more “what ifs,” just PEACE! It is amazing what your mind can do when told to “heel” in a no-nonsense tone. It took its cue and left me in peace.

“You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” Dan Millman

Have an amazing Sunday.