life – Page 32 – Site Title

IT WORKED?!!

I’ve talked about a girlfriend who is known for being tardy. If truth be told, tardiness should have been her first, middle, and last name! Her idea of showing up for a meeting is to never show up on time!

We are two opposites as far as being punctual is concerned. I make it a point to show up 10 to 15 minutes earlier than the scheduled time and hers is to show up 20 t0 30 minutes late, but this last time about three weeks ago she was a no show altogether! Her excuse after a 45 minute wait was, “Oh, so sorry! I completely forgot!” It was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back and this camel has a strong back I must say! I told her in a no-nonsense way that her behavior was unacceptable and let it go at that.

Last week, she wrote asking to meet again. I decided to give her another chance and so I showed up at the cafe today, 15 minutes earlier than the scheduled time. I fully expected Ms. Tardy to come prancing in 20 minutes late as usual.

Lo and behold! She walked in a few minutes after I had walked in, a big smile plastered on her face! My first thought, “It worked! She’s mending her ways.” We had a good talk and nothing was said about her tardiness.

Folks, I don’t know if the leopard can change its spots that easily so it’s a wait and see approach for now. We’ll be meeting again sometime next week and I’m hoping she makes it a priority to show up on time.

But then again…..

PUNCTUALITY

“Consistently being on time is the product of proper planning, personal discipline, and a respect for other people’s time.

Making a habit of being late demonstrates none of these things and is often a sign of patchy priorities and selfishness. Habitual lateness says, “My time is more valuable than yours.”

Learn to be reliable and a person of integrity by adopting the discipline necessary to be on time.” Unknown

Her stance is…..

“I don’t feel tardy.”

And that right there is the problem.

Have an amazing day.

I Love Sundays!

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I do love Sundays. It is a day of rest and meant for time well-spent with family, friends and yourself. Well, it should be and every weekend before Sunday rolls around wearing bells and whistles, I have exactly that in mind but it never works out that way.

I had that talk with Chachi, the cat, and you guessed it, it went in one ear and out the other! The little guy in the fur coat marches to a different drumbeat and he makes his own rules! Last night started out well enough and the little rascal toed the line until he decided that it was not something a cat should be expected to do, toe the line that is. He was off and running and kept me up most of the night with his antics. I decided to let it roll off my back like water off a duck’s back. If you can’t beat them join them…..well, I decided to let him have his way and went into a nirvana state of mind but only in my head, everything else was riled up and revving to go! You guessed how my night went.

I even went to bed wearing a t-shirt that said:

SUNDAY CHECKLIST

EAT AND DO NOTHING

DO NOTHING AND CHILL

CHILL AND SLEEP

No luck there. Reading is not what he is about. He, the little munchkin, was up at his usual time and his first cry was, “Mommy!” We went downstairs at around 5:30 and I made my breakfast with my well-meaning t-shirt full of creases just like my dreams of having a cozy time in bed! Now, I am sitting at the computer and the little guy just came back up and jumped on the chair behind me and has his back up against me! Mommy’s boy? Definitely!

Sundays are meant for relaxing and I’m going to make it so. It is storming outside and it feels cold inside the house. I’m happy about the rain because the ground has been parched and a good dousing would do a world of good as far as the plant world is concerned. So rain on! I’m going to get my second cup of coffee and TRY to CHILL!

Have an amazing Sunday.

This Thing Called Love (3)

We know that love is elusive. We also know that it morphs and changes shape and just when you think you’ve found the one and only, it goes and shows you something different.

If you’ve got both feet firmly planted in the dating scene, you’re bound to meet one of the following types who give love a bad name sooner than later.

The Egoist

This guy is full of himself. Good looks are his calling card and he thinks the world revolves around him or rather he has women swooning at his feet. Well, the truth is they are at his beck and call because in a world where looks matter, he’s all the rage. However, peel away the outer layer and you’ll find more often than not that he’s sorely lacking in a couple of very important aspects. Sometimes looks disguise what is not there. If you’re a smart woman, it takes but a couple of dates to find out that the man of your dreams has an empty shell. If you’re looking for intelligent conversation and looking to hang on to his every word, THIS GUY IS NOT IT! Move on.

Mr. Trigger-Happy

This type may seem to have it all at first glance but that is where it ends. Give him a little time and some rope and he’ll gladly hang himself! All it takes with this dude to show his true self is to have a normal conversation, well what others might call normal but with this guy it’s like playing the Russian roulette. You’ll never know what rubbed him up the wrong way because everything does! He’s just waiting to unload all the years of repressed anger he’s held back and BOOM he’s off and running. Mostly not in your direction because he’s looking for someone to blame for all his problems. Love is the last thing on his mind. RUN and don’t look back!

The Conundrum

This guy is a headache and a half. He walks in like a hurricane, falls like a ton of bricks and is talking the “M” word before the first date is over! You’ll be wondering what hit you! Certainly not love but a corrupted form of something else. He’ll look into your eyes and ask, “Why don’t I see sparkles in them?” Or he’ll want to stick to you like glue and you can only take a breath until he does! If you’re looking for the nice, easy, relaxing type of love, it’s not with him. It’ll only get worse so move on and keep on walking and don’t look back!

Mr. Past & Present

Okay, this is one to watch out for. He has one foot firmly planted in the past. I mean it is cemented to the past. However, he is looking to connect with someone in the present. You’ll find he is either hung up on his dead wife, a past love or just about anything in the PAST as an excuse as to why he can’t fall in love again but if it comes to doing everything else he is willing and ready. Bring up the “M” word and he’s off and running. Scary? It is. Tread carefully because his true self doesn’t show up until you’re fully in and just when you think things are going great and there’s a future, he’ll pull the rug from under your feet. You’ll be left asking, what happened? It’s not you, it’s him. Move with caution or better still RUN!

This thing called love is impossible at times and at other times, it takes a lot of work to land what you’re looking for. Unfortunately, you’ll have to fall a few times, pick yourself back up, kiss more than a few frogs, dance the Tango with those I mentioned above, and when the clock strikes 12, be thankful that you survived to live another day.

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford

With that in mind, proceed with caution and always with your eyes wide open and tell your heart to sit this one out until you’ve got it down pat. Getting it down to a science is next to impossible but arming yourself with the knowledge to outplay some of the no good types out there is a must!

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

Joe and Joan were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. “There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared,” the weather report said. “You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets.” Joe said, “Jeez, okay,” and got up from his coffee.

The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, “There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets.” Again Joe replied, “Jeez, okay,” and got up from his coffee.

Two days later, again they’re sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast said, “There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the …..” and the power went out and Joe didn’t get the rest of the instructions. He turned to Joan, “Jeez, what am I going to do now, Joan?”

Joan replied, “Aw, Joe, just leave the car in the darned garage today!”

Methinks they’ve got too much time on their hands!

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Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the downfall of every successful man is usually another woman.

I know this one way too well!

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“I think my wife is selling drugs,” a man told his friend.

“Yesterday I was running late for work and the phone rang. I answered it, but before I could say anything, a guy said, “Hey honey, is that dope gone yet?”

Methinks, well never mind!

Personal Belongings I Hold Dear

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First and foremost is a picture of my young son when he was about three years old. He was a cute kid and I was totally hooked on him. I was a first time mom and my world revolved around him. The little guy was cheeky even at that young age.

One day he had just had his bath and was standing on the table naked waiting to be dressed when I got this great idea. I decided to take a picture of him in his birthday suit. He gave me this look and a smile erupted on his face. I grabbed my cell phone and snapped the pic! He giggled and just as I finished, I felt the spray hit my face! When it did, he chuckled and started jumping on the table. It became a game after that with him. Every time I tried to dress him and when I saw that grin come on his face, I knew what was coming and I learned to duck in time! That pic has a special place in my heart because it was one of those times when life was simple and it was all about giggles and chuckles.

The other thing I hold close and still wear around my neck is a heart-shaped diamond pendant. It’s a beautiful piece and it belonged to my mom. I remember her wearing it all the time and it was her special piece of jewelry. I loved it when the sun hit the stones and made them glisten and shine. I inherited it when she met her untimely death. My brother decided that it was one of the pieces I should have. It is a daily companion along with a diamond solitaire pendant that was given to me by the friend I lost a couple of years ago. Both bring back precious memories. They are both gone now but those two pieces of jewelry bring back a time when I felt special and knew that I was loved.

What may seem like trinkets to some may mean a whole different story to someone else.

Daily writing prompt

What personal belongings do you hold most dear?

View all responses

JUST AS I AM

“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.” Anais Nin

MISSION ACCEPTED!

Right now, I’m choosing….

to believe that everything is working out in my favor

to focus on what I can control

to release what does not align with my vision of the future

to spend time with the people that make me feel safe

to meet my own needs

to take steps outside of my comfort zone

to find the good in every moment

to honor my boundaries

to stay in my own lane

to reflect on my life choices and choose better ones.

to stay consistent with the goals I set for myself

to be accepting of change

to prioritize my peace and happiness

to release unhealthy attachments

to enjoy the journey of life

to love myself exactly as I am

Unknown

That folks is exactly how you do it! Now, I have to convince this other me to get in sync and get with the program!

Have an amazing day.

WHAT NOW?!!

“What now is not just a panic-striken question tossed into a dark unknown. What now can also be our joy. It is a declaration of possibility of promise, of chance. It acknowledges that our future is open, that we may well do more than anyone expected of us, that at every point in our development we are still striving to grow.” Ann Patchett

However, I am at a point where I feel like I’m stuck in mud or more appropriately moving through thick gooey mud and each excruciating step forward is a struggle in itself. The cowardly me wants to throw up her hands and to stop, take a breath and spend the days sitting in the garden with only the birds, bees and the insects for company. I am SAFE.

That’s the conundrum right there. It is not about feeling safe. It is about finding that right guy and making the right decisions for my life. It takes work to get to the end goal and I know that the right person is not just going to fall into my lap like manna from heaven. It takes working on me, knowing what I want, what I won’t tolerate and when to say NO to those who are just a waste of time and a drain on my emotional resources. So far so good. Then the doubts started creeping in and along came the fears, the uncertainties but most of all not knowing where to go next has been bugging me for the last week or so. I’m where Alice was when she had that conversation with the Cheshire Cat. It goes like this:

Alice: “Would you tell me please, which way I ought to go from here?”

Cheshire Cat: “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”

Alice: “I don’t much care where.”

Cheshire Cat: “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”

Alice: “So long as I get somewhere.”

Cheshire Cat: “Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”

I don’t want to keep moving forward if “somewhere” is going to be good enough. It isn’t and neither is aimless wandering. I have a specific goal in mind. Perhaps, this wading through mud is normal in the grand scheme of things and not everything is going to go as smoothly as I want it to go. When has it ever? So why not stop and take that well-deserved break? I’ve been working hard on discarding the “old me” and I see someone new emerging from the shadows. She is stronger, more decisive and she knows what she wants. There is still work to be done but I have a feeling it will all fall in place when the time is right. The end goal is to get to the other side of the here and now. What would be waiting there? I don’t know but unlike Alice in Wonderland, this much I know. I care about where I’m headed.

“Sometimes not having any idea where we’re going works out better than we could possibly have imagined.” Unknown

Fingers and toes crossed!

Have an amazing day.

LIVING LIFE

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I don’t know who wrote this but I find these 7 rules to be very helpful in my life so thought I’d share.

7 RULES OF LIFE

LET IT GO

Never ruin a good day by thinking about a bad yesterday.

IGNORE THEM

Don’t listen to other people. Live a life that’s empowering to you.

GIVE IT TIME

Time heals everything.

DON’T COMPARE

The only person you should try to beat is the person you were yesterday.

STAY CALM

It’s okay not to have everything figured out. Know that in time, you’ll get there.

IT’S ON YOU

Only you are in charge of your happiness.

SMILE

Life is short. Enjoy it while you have it.

I like the last one a lot!

Have an amazing day.

Accepting Changes

I hate changes and it has never been my strong suit. However, life has decided to give me more than my share of changes to show me it is needed and that nothing ever stands still for long. I am learning to roll with the punches and also learning to stand back up stronger than before. I think the sooner we learn that life is all about changes, the better off we’ll be. I am learning to accept the changes, so life let’s take a pause so I can come up for air before I have to accept another change!

Here are some beautiful quotes that will help you to accept changes for what they are, just a part of life and its idiosyncrasies.

“Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later.” Unknown

Can’t wait to see what those titles will be. Survivor perhaps?

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” Cherokee Proverb

“The price of doing the same old thing is far higher than the price of change.” Bill Clinton

“Life is like a GPS, it will reroute you when you least expect it, just sit back and enjoy the ride.” Unknown

Oh Gawd!! I don’t like that one too much.

“Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.” Alvia Toffler

I need a little more time for this to sink in.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” Unknown

This one has sunk in. I am on my way but slowly!

“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.” Michael Jordan

I think I am one of those people.

I like this one the best.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” W.C. Fields

Oh gawd, I see another change coming on and another lesson to learn! I was only kidding with that last one. Take it easy and CHILL!

Fragments of Yesterday

“And then, just like that, my heart broke. My face crumpled, my composure went and I held him tightly and I stopped caring that he could feel the shudder of my sobbing body because grief swamped me. It overwhelmed me and tore at my heart and my stomach and my head and it pulled me under, and I couldn’t bear it. I honestly thought I couldn’t bear it.” Jojo Moyes

That last line held me in its grip and I went along for the ride for as long as it took. “I couldn’t bear it,” was my mantra when the dream splintered into a thousand pieces and lay in fragments at my feet. “This couldn’t be happening to me!” was my other cry but none of that mattered because the end had arrived and there was no going back to what was.

Cheating is one of the most despicable things one human being can do to another. If truth be told, it happens all the time. It has become a norm in this easy come, easy go world of ours. When it happens, you find yourself going under, and in my case I lost my best friend, a long-time life partner I had known and trusted for a long time. The aftermath is hard to describe. I went from a confident woman to someone I didn’t recognize anymore. There was sadness and of course tears but that line, “I couldn’t bear it,” was the slogan that kept me in the hole that someone else had dug for me.

However, let me tell you, YOU are fully capable of bearing it! It may seem like all is lost and you may feel like you’re looking at absolute darkness but I assure you that you’ll find your way into the light as I did. It took courage, strength, forgiving yourself for what wasn’t your fault and to slowly rise again. Rise again you must because you have no other choice! Let me also tell you that you are enough and those “fragments” of a shattered heart will learn to mend itself. You will learn to look at love and life through different glasses and the next time around when love walks in, you will know better.

“Over the years, confusing fragments, lost corners of stories, have a clearer meaning when seen in a new light, a different place.” Michael Ondaatje

I’ve changed from that young and trusting person I used to be. I thought love once yours would remain forever. I gave my trust to a man who had vowed to me forever, had called me the love of his life and because best friends don’t hurt each other, I had thought we would make it to the very end. Wrong!

However, I can’t change what I want.

“And that was the cause of my heartache. I wanted everything or nothing at all. I’m not impressed by bits, parts, or almost. I’m a seeker of that which is whole, full, and complete. Completely mine or completely not.” Unknown

If that is in the cards for me is left to be seen. Only time will tell. You can overcome the insurmountable and even though you will carry those scars for a lifetime, you are built to survive. You are strong, you are resilient and you are beautiful. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror after it happened. I felt UGLY! It took time to overcome that as well.

Cheating causes emotional turmoil, mental health issues, a trust deficit, low self-esteem and sometimes PTSD-like symptoms. Sounds daunting doesn’t it? IT IS! However, the YOU within is capable of overcoming pain and resilient enough to overcome the challenges that it entails.

“You’re not broken. You’re just becoming. Unfolding slowly – like petals in spring. Give yourself time. ”

AND

“What sticks to memory, often are those odd little fragments that have no beginning and no end….” Tim OBrien

Be kind to yourself, love yourself, build yourself up and learn that those “fragments” which were part of your yesterday can help you towards a better tomorrow. Here’s the thing, YOU CAN BEAR IT!

Have an amazing day.