“Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.” Dorothy M. Neddermeyer
Caring less about things maybe the easiest way to acquire happiness but how many of us do that? How often do we obsess about things we cannot change? More times than I can remember. How often do we let someone trigger something in us and we carry it around for days mulling over every word and detail to the point that nothing else matters but that one little problem but only by this time, it isn’t a small problem anymore but had morphed and become unsolvable! How many times have we let someone bring us down just because something hurtful was said and we take it to heart, handle it like a precious thing and let our self-esteem go to pieces? More times than I can count on my fingers.
Here’s the thing:
“The less you give a damn the happier you will be.” Unknown
Something happened yesterday and I took what was handed to me, went to my corner as I usually do and let it do a number on me! Happiness was nowhere to be seen and my piece of mind was in shambles at my feet. Even then, I refused to let go. I was like a dog with a bone until I stopped and decided to let go of what I was holding within and told myself that there was nothing I could do about the situation. No amount of anger, sadness and wishing, yes wishing was going to change it for the better. I took a deep breath and let it go….
“Stop asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.” Unknown
That’s the problem isn’t it? We keep allowing things to happen and to hold us in its grasp. If only we could take away the power from the problem at hand and learn to look at it with detachment versus with both feet smack dap in the middle! Learning to care less takes practice especially if you’re the type who cares too much about anything and everything.
LET IT GO……and learn to relax. Problems do have a way of righting themselves out and sometimes with very little help from you. Give it some time, give it some space but most of all, don’t hug it close to your heart. Learn to care less and you’ll be less stressed at and with life. This doesn’t mean being a less caring person it just means picking your battles carefully and when you do, be prepared to look at them with less emotion. Step back and go to work but not with guns blazing! I have to remind myself of this too.
ONE DAY IT JUST CLICKS
“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what others think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover and you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.”
How did it make me feel? I can’t say for sure because I was happy when I started to take it easy and not do anything of importance or one that would require too much brain power. The output would be very little and I thought I would be feeling good by the end of the day. Guess again!
By the end of the day, I was feeling more frazzled and very anxious. It seems having nothing much to do makes me feel that way. Truth be told, it wasn’t just a day with nothing to do. I did my daily walk in nature and that was fantastic as usual. I walked home looking forward to another cup of coffee and than DOING NOTHING! “Not that quick” said life. The phone kept ringing, then I had mail that needed to be taken care of and a date if I wanted it. Got your attention? Yes, a date. It was the cheesecake guy. I hadn’t heard from him in ages and thought it was water under the bridge. To tell you the truth, I was glad that we didn’t have to do the relationship dance anymore. Chachi, the cat, was glad too. He never liked him. Anyway, he was on the other end saying he wanted to meet, just for coffee and a chat. I thought why not. I agreed to a date and time. Getting off the phone, I felt agitated. Dates make me feel that way!
I decided my mind needed something to keep it occupied. This “doing nothing” was getting on my nerves! I looked at my other projects, a sequel to “The Excellent Adventures of Honey and Hubie.” It is finished and has been accepted but I thought it needed brushing up so I pulled out the manuscript and went to work. Chachi plays the lead role in that one and he does a mighty fine job. I got bored after a while and looked at my other project, a novel that spans three generations. Whoa! Yes, right. It is a huge project, 362 pages done and I am lost. Not sure how to proceed. Bah hambug!
What am I doing? It was supposed to be a lazy day. So I put my feet up, cuddled with my little guy and was feeling rested until my ex showed up. We talked for a while but I could feel something coming to the surface. It wasn’t good. I cut the conversation short and sent him on his way. It was downhill from there. My lazy day was nowhere to be seen and I had to keep moving to keep my mind from going to places I didn’t want it to go!
So do lazy days make me feel rested or unproductive. I can’t answer that question because I don’t think I have had one so far!
Daily writing prompt
Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
Someone who is quiet, helpful, stays in their lane and is not a gossip monger. Those are some characteristics that I find necessary to being a good neighbor.
People around here usually keep to themselves but gossiping is a necessary evil in this village. What starts out as a small piece of gossip gets shredded and passed around until it comes out on the other end as something big and hard to believe or digest! I think it stamps from people not having much to do. Most are old and the only thing they have got going is keeping up with their husbands, household chores and gardening. Lest I forget, their window seat is their best friend! Nothing gets past the womenfolk here.
That said, there are those who are very helpful and caring. My neighbor across the street calls when she notices that I had left my garage door open. I have a tendency to forget and when the phone rings and I hear her voice, I know it is the friendly neighborhood watch person reminding me to shut the garage door! Then there is the one who brings me a jar of homemade jam made from the harvest of fruits in her garden. I find that to be very sweet. The gesture is often returned. Today, I gave away the ripe figs from my garden and she asked, “Would you like some apples?” I pointed to my apple tree and said, “I’m trying to do the same!”
I am lucky to have some good neighbors. Most are quiet and noise is not something I have to worry about. Most days, it is extremely quiet and I love it that way. I think I am a good neighbor. I’m helpful, friendly, and I make it a point to bring a bouquet or two of flowers to some of the women around here. It is well received and I’m rewarded with a great big smile!
It works both ways. It’s a give and take sort of thing. If you want a good neighbor, you have to start being a good one yourself. All I can say is that I have good neighbors and I am thankful for the peace and serenity that surrounds this place that I call home.
She is an American author and queer activist and her podcast “We Can Do Hard Things” won two webby awards. She is empowering, inspirational and her quotes speak to and touch the heart. It has been said that when Glennon Doyle speaks, women listen and I’m one of those women.
“When a women finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.”
Exactly where I’m at now.
“I looked hard at my faith, my friendships, my work, my sexuality, my entire life and asked, “How much of this was my idea? Who was I before I became who the world told me to be?”
I’ve asked myself the self-same question and the answer is, I was free as a bird!
“This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been. There is no map, we are all pioneers.”
“I do not adjust myself to please the world. I am myself wherever I am, and I let the world adjust.”
I know this journey well. I am in the midst of it.
“I have met my self and I am going to care for her fiercely.”
Doing exactly that and I am seeing the benefits.
“We think our job as humans is to avoid pain, our job as parents is to protect our children from pain, and our job as friends is to fix each other’s pain. Maybe that’s why we all feel like failures so often – because we all have the wrong job description for love.”
This one made me stop in my tracks and to take a good hard look at what I’m doing.
“What I want to be, girls, is beautiful. Beautiful means ‘full of beauty.’ Beautiful is not about how you look on the outside. Beautiful is about what you’re made of. Beautiful people spend time discovering what their idea of beauty on this earth is. They know themselves well enough to know what they love, and they love themselves enough to fill up with a little of their particular kind of beauty each day.”
Beautifully said. What’s inside makes you shine on the outside and it can beat physical beauty hands down.
“Reading is my inhale and writing is my exhale.”
I haven’t done much inhaling lately but boy am I exhaling!
There are several principles that define how I live my life, but there are four intrinsic values that I adhere to. They are honesty, integrity, empathy and kindness.
These four make up the cornerstone of how I live my life. Honesty is important and I try to be as honest as I can. There are times when the “white lies” creep in but those moments are few and far between. However, those “white lies” do come back to haunt me. I am learning to be more straightforward without being hurtful.
Integrity is a must as far as I am concerned. I stand by what I say and when I promise something, I do it. My word is my bond and it really is with me. It basically means that “a person’s spoken promise is a serious and unbreakable commitment, just like a legal bond.” This signifies the highest level of integrity. I know many people who don’t stand by their word. It seems to be a norm these days but I do stand by what I say and you can count on it.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It is about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes and it means to understand and consider another person’s feelings and lifestyle without judgment. I try but sometimes I fall short. It is a work in progress.
Kindness is important. I try to be kind, generous, friendly, and considerate to others. It makes for a better world and one act of kindness is all it takes to put a smile on someone’s face when they’re having a bad day or to show them that someone cares.
Those are the principles I live by. There are others but these four are front and center when it comes to defining how I live my life and they help to guide me on the right path and to keep me grounded.
Three women went to Mexico one night, had too much to drink, and woke up the next morning in jail. They were told they would be executed, but none of them could remember what they had done wrong.
The first woman, who had red hair, was strapped into the electric chair. When asked if she had any last words, she said, “I went to Grace University, and I believe that God will protect the innocent.” They pulled the switch, but nothing happened.
Everyone around dropped to their knees, begged for her forgiveness, and let her go.
Next, the second woman, a brunette, was put in the chair. She said, “I went to the Creighton School of Law, and I believe that justice will protect the innocent.” They pulled the switch again, and once more, nothing happened.
Again, the people fell to their knees, asked for her forgiveness, and let her go.
Finally, the last woman, a blonde, was brought in and strapped into the chair. She said, “I graduated from the University of Alabama in Huntsville with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I can tell you right now, this thing isn’t going to work unless you plug it in!”
Each year, it is the same old stuff. When fall rolls around, it is time to turn off the water supply to the garden so that you don’t get frozen pipes that could cause a lot of damage, car inspection to get it ready for winter, check the salt supplies to make sure that I have enough when cold weather rolls around and get my summer clothes bagged up and bring out the winter stuff. There are other things that need to be done but I usually wind up putting them off until I really have no choice!
Just looked at the weather forecast and it says a cold polar blast is going to show its face around here early next week. Temps should be in the minus and that means warmer clothes. I wouldn’t say it’s a mad dash to get my winter clothes together but since I have a lot of them, it means sorting, cleaning and getting it ready. Grrr!!! Not my favorite thing in the world to do.
I’ve got the wash running and getting what I need cleaned and ready. The rest will need to go to the dry cleaners. Yes, a major job and I’m not in the mood for it as I wanted today to be nice and easy. Cuddling with Chachi, the cat, and sipping from the soup I made yesterday to watching something good on TV. Looks like I will be dealing with putting summer away and bringing winter to the forefront. Not to mention the shoes as well. I forgot those. Boots, scarves, socks, gloves, and whatever else is needed to keep me warm and toasty will need to be sorted out as well.
I used to be a clotheshorse. I say, “used to be” but judging from what is coming out of the closets, I still am! The clothes seem to be multiplying right before my very eyes. Oh well, that’s what I have been putting off doing. Now, back to work so that I can meet the new season in style!
You may be saying, but she hangs out in PJs all the time so why the hassle? I ask myself that very same question. Let’s just say, I like having them ready just in case. Chachi is saying, “Not on my watch mommy!”
Photo by Arthur FlyingPenguin Guillemot on Pexels.com
“There is one grand lie – that we are limited. The only limits we have are the limits we believe.” Wayne Dyer
Do you feel smaller than you are or have you made yourself to feel that way? Did one careless word, a disdainful look or one mean retort shrink you down to size? Did you believe those lies willingly? Often, we take those lies thrown in our direction and run with them and we come up with more lies. I am not worthy, I am not enough, I am not equipped to deal with whatever life throws my way and I just can’t! That last one is my mantra. I CAN’T!
YOU ARE LIMITLESS
“The most powerful words in the universe are the words you say to yourself.” Unknown
Be careful of what you say to yourself. Limiting beliefs are just that, they stop you from achieving or moving towards the goals you want to achieve. Words and phrases like, I’m not beautiful, I’m not good enough, I’m not intelligent enough and I’m not worthy enough but perhaps the most damaging is, “I don’t deserve it.” Limiting words stop us in our treks and they stop us from achieving our goals. Be careful of what you tell yourself because YOU ARE LISTENING! Let’s change the narrative and put a positive spin on things.
SAY:
I AM LIMITLESS AND I BELIEVE I AM!
“Your potential is limitless. You are unique, valuable, capable and worthy of the dreams in your heart. Most of all, you have what it takes to transform and transcend whatever challenges you face.” Marie Forleo
YOU, my friend, are limitless. There is a vast limitless potential within you. You have everything within you to soar as high as you want. You have the ability to climb the highest mountain and to make it to the very top. In order to get there, you have to change what you tell yourself because you are made of stronger stuff. YOU can fly if you want to. Change your mindset, do the work and the rest will fall in place.
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