love – Page 17 – Site Title

We Made Up!

Chachi, the cat, declared “Mutiny on the Bounty,” a night ago and decided to run riot for most of the night with no end in sight. The little “Night Terror” showed me that cats are unpredictable creatures but more than that, they have a mind of their own.

That was then. Today, the little sweetheart is back to his normal self. He is all kisses and is made of snips, snails and puppy-dogs’ tails. We went to bed early last night, lights out at around 8 p.m. and the little furball was pooped and so was I. We slept through the night and most of it was peaceful until I heard the snores. Yes, he snores and loudly at that! I decided that was nothing compared to what he put me through the night before.

If you’re wondering what happened? Read my article, Out of Control” and all will be made clear. I don’t know what that night was about but it was something. It could be that just like “humans” cats have their moments too. Whatever it was, I’m glad he’s decided to reel it back in and is behaving like the lovely thing he is.

However, I did look up about getting some training for him but nothing like that exists for cats. They have plenty of dog training classes but absolutely nothing for cats. I’ve come to the conclusion that cats are highly-evolved creatures and they don’t need training, it’s the other way around!

According to Laurie Fletcher:

Cats are fully aware of their regal and divine attributes and treat their humans accordingly.

Their meetings occur right in front of their subjects if they share a home. That staring contest? Ernest discussion. That burl/trill as they pass one another? A brief report or sharing of data.

Cats don’t do long meetings. They’re firmly in control and bureaucracy cuts into nap time.

AND

According to Margaret Smith, another cat aficionado:

Because dogs have owners and cats have staff.

Because the Ancient Egyptians treated cats as GODS, and cats remember.

That says it all, doesn’t it? Sometimes I do feel like “staff,” where Chachi is concerned. He decides when I get to kiss him, when I get to hold him and when we cuddle. He does expect that he has clean water, loads of delicious food and that his toilet is kept clean at all times! If that isn’t God-like status, I don’t know what is.

Anyway, we made up and royally! He seems calm and is content sitting in his window seat watching the world go by. It could be that he’s found a new-found interest. She’s black as the night with bright green eyes, a beauty no less and they’ve been eyeing each other. I call her the Girl from Ipanema and the neighborhood is her playground in more ways than one! Chachi is way too innocent for that kind of stuff but she doesn’t care. She sits on her perch on a garden hut facing him directly. She seems to be asking, “Wanna play handsome?” Or it’s more like:

He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge

Struttin’ her stuff on the street

She said, “Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?

Oh, uh-huh

Gitchie, gitchie, ya-ya, da-da (hey, hey, hey)

Gitchie, gitchie, ya-ya, here (here)

Mocha Chocolate, ya-ya (ooh, yeah)

Creole Lady Marmalade.

ME: Chachi!!!

HIM: What mummy? I’m busy right now!

Me: Get away from the window!

Yes, something new everyday with little furball. If you thought he’s reeled in his rebellion faze, think again. He missed his toilet meaning “IT” landed just short of the toilet! He has never done that before. Perhaps, it’s a message that he’s not done with teaching me a lesson yet. Lord, have mercy!

Have an amazing day.

Complicated

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I took a walk on Saturday but this time I wasn’t alone. Most days, I like to walk alone but this time around it was a different story. A friend decided to go along but not before we had this conversation.

ME: “You should bring your old, time-worn boots because it will be muddy in places.”

HIM: “I’m not walking in mud!”

ME: “Why not? I walked in mud yesterday and it was wonderful.”

HIM: “Well then, I’ll watch you.”

Complicated? He is, but he doesn’t think so. Or maybe I am.

The walk was great. We walked further than I would do when I’m by myself. The sun was trying to make a showing from behind dark grey clouds but it was a difficult task and a losing battle against the looming clouds. The ground had thawed out from the light snowfall of two days ago and there were some wet patches along the path and I think he did step into one or two mud puddles and if he noticed, he kept it quiet.

Nothing much was moving out there or so it seemed because we were deep in conversation and noise often blocks out what the mind sees when you are alone and your senses are on high alert. We talked about nothing in particular, just life in general. I kept looking for the herons, my new-found passion, but they were nowhere to be seen. We went up and down the hill and then to my surprise a few minutes later there they were, standing silently and pretending not to notice our intrusion into their sacred space. We watched them for a few minutes but they refused to move so we walked on and left them alone. It was a beautiful walk and sometimes having a friend there makes all the difference.

Later that evening, I received a text message from the same friend with this quote attached to it. It was by Jane Austen and it went like this:

“The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love. I require so much!”

He captioned it: “This fits you well. Somewhat of a compliment.”

Did he just call me complicated? If he did, he is not far from the truth. I’ve heard that label being placed on me many times before but it doesn’t faze me. I’ll wear it gladly. It’s nice to know that women back then had the same problem of trying NOT to fall for the wrong guy although the main theme in Sense and Sensibility is “the danger of excessive sensibility.” It could be the case with me but I am not settling, not just yet. Most of us want to find ‘love’ but falling in love takes more than just a chance meeting. However, I do agree that a man needs to be given a chance before I shut the door on him.

“I am made of little rooms full of thoughts, emotions and memories. You cannot define me by listening to me once. I’m too complex.” Unknown

Why wouldn’t I be complicated? I love spending time out in nature, traipsing around in mud, talking to wild life versus preferring human company and if that is not enough, Chachi, the cat, comes in picking up the slack when it is needed! I go by the motto, why give the milk for free or get the cow for free, something like that but you get the drift. Anyway more specifically, why invest in a cow when you can get the milk for free, dumb maybe BUT it holds some truth to it. If that makes me complicated, I AM.

“Sometimes I think maybe I’m just too complicated for anyone to love.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Half-Hearted Connections

“You don’t deserve a half-hearted love. You don’t deserve someone who can only promise you pieces and not the whole. You don’t deserve someone who’s walking around investing time in other some ones. You don’t deserve a person who can’t commit.” Marisa Donnelly

Have you ever fallen for an emotionally-unavailable man? Have you ever wondered why you’re on a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs and you don’t know if you’re coming or going? If you’re caught up in a never-ending cycle of being taken for a ride, it’s time to get off.

An emotionally unavailable man is typically defined as, “not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of man will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.”

The problem is even though these men are not available, it doesn’t stop them from being out there on the dating scene. They don’t want long-term but pretend that they do. They send out mixed signals and at times it seems like they want “forever” but it is more in their mind than anything else. The message they deliver is a confusing one and just when you think that you’ve found the one, they’ll show you different in a not so nice way. They’re there one minute, ghost you the next or worse still take up with someone else right before your very eyes. This is a relationship where you’re the non-entity and it is all about them.

How do you know if they’re emotionally unavailable? Here are some signs according to Victoria Miretti.

They cannot say they are looking for a long term committed relaitonship.

They don’t court you.

They struggle to have emotional or in depth conversations.

Their words and actions don’t match.

They are inconsistent.

You don’t experience a steady upward progression in the relationship.

I had the unfortunate experience of meeting one such person. He walked in like a hurricane ready to sweep everything away in his path and I was just coming out of a storm. He had all the makings of “the guy.” The relationship if you can call it that took off like a whirlwind but each time we got close, he took 10 steps back. I noticed the hesitation and put it down to fear because I was feeling the same thing. The problem was I was willing to settle for crumbs knowing full well that they were crumbs because I was coming from a place of lack myself. Having just lost a special someone, I was looking for a relationship. It was a perfect meeting of the minds. The only problem, it wasn’t enough and I knew what a good relationship should look like. This one was sorely lacking but I put up with the charade.

“Life is too short for half-hearted connections and meaningless run-throughs.” Unknown

Low-effort men do not invest in you because they can’t. They find it easy to walk away and take up with someone new in a matter of days or more specifically even before the relationship has ended because their emotions don’t run very deep and hurting someone is part and parcel of how they operate. It is a place where nothing affects them because their heart is under lock and key. A no man’s land or rather a no woman’s land as far as they are concerned. So why even be out there? I guess everyone needs love and if you hurt someone along the way what’s the big deal, right? The problem is, it is a big deal to the person who gets hurt in the process.

“Never put them first, if you always come last. Never give your all, if you only get half.” Unknown

If you’ve read my article, “Dating No-Gooders,” you’ll know that they are out there along with all the others that give “dating” a bad name. One false move will get you to where you don’t want to be. If you’re looking for Mr. Right, know that it is a dangerous world out there so step lightly. If he’s unavailable and shows the signs from the get go, leave him alone and move on. Some people cannot love you the way you want to be loved AND you’re too valuable to settle for anything less or for half-hearted connections.

How do you know if he’s emotionally available? According to singleover30.net, here are some signs to look out for.

If a man is present with you when he is with you, that’s a good sign.

This is not always true from my experience. The person I knew was all there when we spent time together and gave me the impression that he wasn’t shying away from anything but he was emotionally unavailable and hence the confusion.

He is comfortable talking about his feelings.

He is willing to talk about the progression of the relationship.

He won’t waste your time with half-hearted promises.

He will be interested in you and your life.

He prioritizes spending time with you.

Therapist: You saw the red flags though, right?

Me: I thought it was a carnival.

That says it all.

Have an amazing day.

Heart Break

“Hearts can break. Yes, hearts can break. Sometimes I think it would be better if we died when they did, but we don’t.” Stephen King

Standing before me, he looked tall and lean, his face showing concern and looking a little older, the grey showing at his temples as he said, “You’ve got to learn to forgive. Sometimes bad things happen and YOU just need to forgive, forget and move on.”

I watched him, my face showing nothing. This was the man who had once meant the world to me. He had never once apologized for his hand in the heart break he had caused me. The damage was done and he had simply walked away like I was yesterday’s news.

There are no more tears to cry, no more gut-wrenching pain and no more feelings of any kind. I was done and his empty words held just that, NOTHING of any kind. He moved towards me but I took a step back. A long time ago, I had run into his arms so willingly but that was back then when we were in love and the world was a much better place.

We are two strangers now. Our history together a thing of the past, the love we had shared written somewhere in the stars for all eternity and the heart he had so carelessly and so willingly broken had learned to heal but it will never forget the crumbling, the breaking and the realization that this same man I had once loved was capable of wielding such pain.

Love hurts and heart break is painful. Hearts break all the time, it is nothing new. “I’m sorry” sometimes takes a long time coming and in some cases it never does. However, those words don’t have the power to erase the pain and neither do they take away the hurt you carry in your heart. Perhaps, the words are just a defense mechanism men use to shield themselves from their wrong doing and to walk away with their guilty conscience intact. Whatever the case maybe, sorry doesn’t cut it. It is so lacking in every aspect but I don’t know what else can make up for it.

We stood watching each other, his eyes hiding secrets and mine devoid of feeling. It was awkward to say the least. Yet my heart screamed, “You know him well don’t you? You had loved him with all of your heart once a long time ago.”

The truth is he had loved me too. He had called me his soulmate and the love of his life but somewhere along the way, he became someone else. When that someone new walked in, he took off running and left me holding a bag of broken dreams and a shattered heart broken beyond repair.

Today, there are no more tears, no anger, no despair, no nothing. I watched as he walked out the door and as I closed the door behind me, I realized that the heartbreak had changed me. I had grown stronger. I had learned to put my broken heart back together again piece by piece. The cracks still show but I guess they always will as a reminder of the pain I had gone through. Forgiveness? It will take a long time coming. I hope one day I can say the words he wants to hear. “I forgive you.” Not yet, it is going to take time and that is alright too.

“People think that the most painful thing in life is losing the one you value.

The truth is, the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of valuing someone too much and forgetting that you are special too.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Let Go Gracefully

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Just like that….it is over. The feelings and emotions crowding your mind and raging through your body are almost too much to bear. Disbelief, anger, sadness, numbness, confusion and rage could be some of the emotions taking hold and letting go gracefully is the last thing on your mind.

It is a normal reaction. Give it time to settle down even if it feels like it never will right now. It is done for, so let it go gracefully.

“The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go.” Unknown

It is not easy to let go and it is downright scary. Suddenly it becomes real and very uncomfortable. Most of us look at it as a relationship ending and there is a mad scramble within to want to save what can’t be saved. What went wrong is the first question that comes to mind. The more pertinent question is, does it even matter? Crying over split milk is a lost cause and venting over lost time and energy even more so. Consider it a sunk cost and take steps to move on.

Did I neglect his needs, wants and feelings?

Did he neglect mine?

What led to the breakup?

Did he fall into me or was I the one doing the chasing running circles around him?

Did he hurt me intentionally? There is a difference between hurting someone and hurting someone intentionally. The latter is done with total disrespect knowing full well that the action taken will have repercussions and not of the nice kind.

More importantly, how much of what I didn’t want, did I tolerate?

The answers coming back could be eye-openers because, as women, we tend to have blinders on when it comes to love and relationships. What we wouldn’t tolerate normally are the very things we are quick to disregard when it comes to that special person in our life.

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” Unknown

Letting go is a grieving process. You’ll have to go through the grieving to get to the other side. There are five steps to the process. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. There is a quote that goes like this:

“The buffalo is the only animal that runs into a storm rather than away from it.”

Why? It’s because, “they instinctively know that walking into a storm will get them out of the weather quicker, despite knowing they’ll suffer more up front.” Face your problems head-on with courage and determination and by spending time there instead of ignoring them you will be able to move past them more quickly and effectively.

However, if you don’t want to do all five of the grieving techniques, accept what has happened, don’t ponder too much on why it happened but know that sometimes:

“Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path.” Unknown

AND

“Some things break your heart but fix your vision.” Unknown

Let go gracefully and walk away with your dignity intact. Smile even if it hurts and turn the switch off. It is done for now and you’ll be fine.

Have an amazing day.

KINDNESS

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia

Kindness or being kind is no longer as important as it used to be. We live in a self-obsessed world and when once we used to have close interactions with people, it is now being replaced with chats, text messages or quick hellos and goodbyes. The emoji is front and center when it comes to showing you care and there is one for every emotion you can think of including sadness. We’ve become so impersonal that closeness is a thing of the past and showing emotions much less so. We live in a fast paced world where technology is king and people a commodity like anything else.

Yet, we haven’t changed much or have we? I think we have. People have become much more self-centered and ‘me’ first is often the case. If you hurt someone these days you send an emoji to say you’re sorry. It could be in the form of a one tear- drop emoji or just a kiss emoji and you’ve done your ‘compassion’ and ‘kindness’ part. However, this makes it hard to have a human connection when you come across as a robot. The more we rely on technology to do the human stuff, the less your heart interacts and hardens to a point. Kindness is a very human trait and it can’t be replaced by emojis no matter how cute they are. It is just a stop-gap measure. The warmth of kindness comes from within, deep within your soul and emojis and other futuristic entities masquerading as the real thing can never take the place of human emotions no matter how advanced technology gets and that’s the truth.

Case in point: I was sad the other day and I shared that with a friend. Immediately he sent a kiss emoji and the word ‘sorry.’ That was it, he had done his job on being human or so he thought but I was left feeling like it could have been a little more, how about the human touch, it was sorely missing. A conversation would have been nice or even checking to see if I was ok from time to time but looking at it from his standpoint he had shown his compassion with an emoji and besides anything else would have taken too much time from his day and he had more important things to do.

Helping each other is fast becoming a thing of the past and so are other forms of kindness. We are a ‘me’ society first and foremost and everything else takes a back seat AND we have an app for everything so why even bother with being nice? Do we have an app for kindness as well? I’ll have to check on that because I’ve been showing kindness the old-fashioned way. Smiles, warm hugs, eye contact and a helping hand are still my go-to for kindness and it works just fine from the human angle.

“Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown

How about sharing a smile? It is known as the universal language of kindness after all. When was the last time you smiled at someone? When did you even look up from your phone, tablet or computer to really look at the world around you? It’s becoming a lost art, this human interaction thing and it’s scary.

“It only takes a split second to smile and forget, yet to someone that needed it, it can last a lifetime.” Steve Maraboli

Here’s a call to bringing kindness back. I’m not talking about the “I care but only for a split second,” or “I see your tears but I can’t give you a hug because I’m too busy,” variety. I’m talking about reaching out and showing you really do care. It is going to take a little bit of your time, effort and patience but the rewards are plentiful. That human touch needs to be put front and center again and let’s just use those cute little emojis ONLY when we have no other choice. Start with a warm smile and the rest takes care of itself.

“Sometimes it takes only one act of kindness and caring to change a person’s life.” Jackie Chan

What Ifs

The dictionary defines a WHAT-IF as a “question that asks someone to imagine what might happen or what might have happened.” Life is full of what-ifs and some of us live our lives carrying that load around knowing full well that it will never become a reality.

We carry the “what ifs” of the past, present and the future that makes life a caricature of what it should be. We whip out the “what ifs” of yesterday to justify where we are today and they affect your present and future like a ripple effect.

We ask:

What if we had stayed together? Life would be so much better today wouldn’t it? Well would it?

What if he/she hadn’t died on me? We would have a wonderful life today. Is that guaranteed or just make-believe?

What if I hadn’t done X, Y, or Z, I would have a completely different life now. Really?

What ifs are suppositions that tend to paint our world in make-believe colors, whatever they may be. The fact is ‘what ifs’ can’t change what has happened and there are no guarantees that if they hadn’t happened, we would be in a different place today. Whatever happened, it happened and for whatever the reason. It was bad but there is no going back. It is a part of the past, accept it and move on.

“That’s the thing about ‘what ifs’; they don’t matter. They don’t change anything. All they do is make it unable for you to heal.” Lindy Zart

So you loved someone with all your heart and that person left you, it happened and they live on in memories nothing more. Accept it and move on. YOU have a life to live.

Someone hurt you in the past. They knew what they were doing but you don’t have to keep paying a price for their meanness. They will reap what they sowed at some point in time. Remember what goes around comes around. Yours is not to ask when or how. All in good time. Let it go and heal.

Life happened and threw you a curveball and you are still asking what if? It doesn’t matter but what matters is that you are in the here and now and those ‘what ifs’ don’t matter anymore only if you let them.

“What” and “if” are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life.”

What if? What if? What if?

Let’s change it to “Why not.”

Why not have a great life? You deserve it don’t you.

Why not leave the past behind you where it belongs? The dead do the haunting not the living. Let it be.

Why not laugh, smile, jump for joy, live and move on? It is your right to do so, isn’t it?

Leave the ‘what ifs’ where they belong. Not in the past, not in the present and not in the future. However, if it keeps bugging you, ask “now what?” Stay in the present and look towards the future and you’ll be just fine. Let’s give the pesky ‘what ifs’ a heave ho and right out the door!

Have an amazing day.

Somewhere in Heaven

I took that walk again, the one I do almost everyday. It has become a ritual but somehow today I was in a somber mood and the weather decided to fit in perfectly. It was dark and gloomy but I paid it no mind as today was not about the weather.

Looking past the apple trees and to the left, a short distance away is the village graveyard. Has it been three years already? It seems like only yesterday when you were laid to rest there with very little pomp and circumstance. Just a few friends gathered to say their goodbyes and some bouquets were laid on the ground where your tombstone would be. Your life on earth was done and you had or were moving on.

“Sometimes I wish I could just rewind back to the old days and press pause……just for a little while.” Unknown

I wondered what I would say to you if I had that chance. I would say come walk with me as we used to. Those walks were peaceful and beautiful. More than that, I would say that I am sorry that I don’t think of you everyday as I did in the beginning. Life has a way of fading memories perhaps to numb the pain.

You were my best friend and you always had my back. Today as I walked I heard your voice say, “Hi Lovely.” Right after that, I saw you for just a minute as you were. You were a tall man with reddish blond hair and green eyes that always seemed to have a warmth about them. I saw that smile and my heart caught in my throat. I remember you well.

I don’t talk to you like you wanted me too but you are never far from my mind. Your presence is waning too, you were always there in the beginning. I think you have moved on to where you needed to go. Heaven must be a beautiful place and you probably have your wings now but I think you always had those wings. You were my angel and you showed me how to fly again. I wish I had known that your time on earth would be so short but I guess ‘angels’ never stay for long. Thank you for sharing those wings with me, for that I will always be thankful.

I am thankful for the love you showed me, the support you gave so willingly and for all the laughter and talks we shared. The big bear hugs were warm and comforting and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that you cared about my heart and more than anything there was kindness there in your person. Again, I thank you for all you did for me. You took someone who was broken after the divorce and made her whole again. No, I don’t think of you everyday but you will always and forever be in my heart.

Love Always and Forever

I MISS YOU

Walking Away

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“Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, values, morals and self-worth.” Unknown

Maturity is one thing but no matter how young, old or mature you get, walking away is a gut-wrenching experience. It is also one of the hardest things to do.

The truth of the matter is that “there is no relationship in which people have the right to violate your boundaries or treat you with disrespect. And if others can’t respect your boundaries, then quietly and calmly walk away. According to Meerabelledey.com, “Bad situations are just that. Bad. Realize that you have the power to walk away from destructive relationships.”

Easier said than done right? Exactly. When I first learned that my ex was cheating on me, I decided to confront him. It was a bad mistake on my part and I had no dignity to speak off at that point in time. All I saw was my 17 year marriage disintegrating like confetti before my very eyes but it wasn’t celebrating anything in particular but signifying the destruction of a sacred trust. My only thought at that moment was, I had to save it.

I approached them and we exchanged words. The woman took off in one direction and my ex took off after her. It was at that very moment that I realized there was no saving what could not or didn’t want to be saved. I was his past and ‘she’ was his new beginning.

“The hardest part about walking away from someone is when you realize that no matter how slow you go, that someone will never run after you.” Unknown

Since then, I’ve made the mistake of staying in relationships for way too long. Walking away was my last resort and trying to work a no win situation was my top priority until I learned that giving up and walking away did not mean I was weak but the contrary. It takes strength and courage to say, enough is enough and to leave with your dignity intact.

“Knowing when to walk away is WISDOM.

Being able to is COURAGE.

Walking away with your head held high is DIGNITY.”

According to experts learning to walk away can be learned and it gets easier as you go through the motions over and over again. I guess it is the same way with everything else in life. Repetition does make things easier I suppose but who wants to do a repeat performance of the bad kind like in Groundhog’s Day or as in a recurring nightmare? When has walking away from someone ever been easy? It has always been a gut-wrenching, gasping for air and almost like you’re drowning experience for me.

Life is complicated enough as it is and hitching our wagon to the wrong person makes it harder still. It’s a surefire way to face destruction of a different kind that of emotional distress, mental health problems, anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Finally, it will drain your energy.

“We don’t walk away to teach people a lesson. We walk away because we finally learned ours.” Unknown

Make the hard decision but the right one.

Walk away from people who don’t care about you or your well-being. You deserve better.

Walk away from people who use and abuse you. You are worth more than that.

Walk away from people who cheat, lie and disrespect you. They are never going to make you happy.

Walk away from people who are just treading water, they will go under sooner or later and pull you down with them.

Walk towards people who care, respect, love and are KIND to you. They will take care of your heart.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

Pay Attention

Life often speaks in whispers at the beginning, it stomps its feet if you don’t listen and it screams to get your attention when you’re heading towards a head-on collision. Through it all, it has your back and is on your side if only you are willing to pay attention to what it has to say. And that is the hard part.

“Consider for a moment what you pay attention to all day long. What seems important to you, what do you take for granted and hardly attend to at all? Write it down. Do not judge your answers. Be honest and simple. As you keep track all week long, you’ll be amazed at what claims your attention what you give your precious life force to.” Brenda Shoshanna

The truth is as “humans” we march to our own drumbeat. We see what is not good for us, we know it spells trouble and we know if we keep going down that path, it will take us to exactly where we don’t want to go BUT we are hell-bent on doing it anyway. Are we wired for destruction, is that what we seek? At times, it seems that way but luckily for us, life comes in and shows us the way out but only if we pay attention.

“Pay attention to the signs. Stop making excuses for people. Stop defending their inconsiderate ways. Start taking care of you and your own needs.” Unknown

I do that all the time. Make excuses for inconsiderate people that is BUT there comes a point in time when I say enough is enough and then I shut the door behind me but unfortunately, it is always a day late and a dollar short. I’ve learned my lessons the hard way but most of us do. Don’t ask me why but we just do. Do we get a thrill out of pain? I don’t know but not paying attention when life is screaming seems to be the problem.

When we don’t pay attention to love, it has a tendency to bring us down to our knees and then we ask what happened? We know exactly why. The answers have been staring us in the face even before the collision happened.

Pay Attention To Her:

When a woman is “tripping” she cares, when a woman is “mad” she believed in you and you let her down, when she is “asking questions” she is trying to gain clarity, when she is “quiet” and letting things slide she is giving up….And when she is not doing all of the above…just know you have lost a good woman.” Unknown

AND

“Sometimes you have to put aside what you feel for them, and PAY ATTENTION to what their actions are saying they feel for you.”

Finally, paying attention seems to be the key to a better life, better relationships and a better way through the intricate maze we call life. Pay attention to the signs before it is too late. Not easy to do as always but there is no other way it seems.

Listen to the wind, it talks.

Listen to the silence, it speaks.

Listen to your heart, it knows. Native American Proverb

Have An Amazing Day