mindfulness – Site Title

A Proud Mom!

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My son is home for the holidays. I can see that he has lost some weight but that cheeky smile remains the same. The first thing he did when he walked in was to look down at me and to put his hand on my head, not in reverence, but to show me that he was a big guy now! And he is. He is much taller but still the little kid I raised.

There is just this certain something that makes your heart skip a beat or two when you see the child you brought into this world doing well as a young adult. He is doing well. His current job keeps him busy and even though there are times that he “hates” the job, he is learning that working life will have its likes and “hates” but I’m sure he will take it all in stride. He is made of stronger stuff.

A little later in the day, I got a call from him from his Oma’s place that blew my socks off and left me in tears. I couldn’t believe what he was saying and I asked him to repeat it twice.

Him: “Mom, I got the job!”

Me: “The job?”

Him: “Yes, the JOB!”

He had applied for his dream job a year ago. Yes, a year ago. He went for two interviews and made it through both times. Then there was the painstaking process of finding out if he was the right person for the job. I can’t say too much but it is a dream job. This kid had never worked a day in his life! He was spoiled rotten and I thought he was going to have a tough time finding a job but he proved us wrong. Every job he applied for, he got. He seems to be an expert at doing interviews and breezing through them!

Anyway, he has landed his dream job and the person who called him told him that it was his Christmas present! He is on cloud nine and I am so proud of him! I’ve been walking around the house saying, “This is unbelievable!” So far, he has landed the job, the rest will be made clear when the new year arrives. There will be changes coming, a big move and so much more but for now, we are happy.

Can I say it again? I will. This is worth repeating.

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

With tears of joy in my eyes.

STRESS

“I stress about stress before there is any stress to stress about.” Unknown

Does that ring a bell? It does with me and I’m sure there are many others out there who do the same thing. We STRESS before stress gets here. I’ve been stressing for the past week or so and I’ve been putting it down to Christmas. Well yes, this time of the year does bring its stress factors. So much to do and so little time. However, I think that we contribute to that stress and make it a lot worse than it is.

“Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency.” Natalie Goldberg

How true?!! I’ve been rushing around trying to make everything perfect for my son when he arrives home tomorrow for the holidays. The house has to be just right, it should look Christmassy like he remembers it, presents need to be bought and wrapped and food, yes food is important for a kid who has been away from home and one who craves all his favorites! So much to do and there is just too much STRESS! That was my cry until I decided to put the brakes on it today.

“Stress is not what happens to us. It is our response to what happens. And response is something we can choose.” Maureen Killoran

I decided to choose how and what I do to get everything done in time. It doesn’t have to be a mad dash, I can take my time. I’ve slowed down, I’ve taken deep breaths, I’ve given Chachi, the cat, several hugs and kisses and I’m almost done for his arrival tomorrow. The presents are wrapped, they don’t have to be perfect, a stress factor in itself! Let’s just say, they are wrapped and under the tree, the lasagne is done and ready for tomorrow, the house looks festive and I’ve got what I need to make it through Christmas! Dare I take a sigh of relief? I think I will, it is well-deserved.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” William James

Choosing carefully is the key. Not everything is an “emergency” and some things can take their time getting there. It is not the end of the world. So what if things are not perfect, you did your best and that is what matters.

“Give your stress wings and let it fly away.” Terri Guillemets

AND

“Everyday brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” Unknown

Choose carefully.

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

I thought this was hilarious and decided to share.

Photo by atelierbyvineeth . . . on Pexels.com

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

The blonde said “How about 50 dollars?”

The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should, she was standing on it.”

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” he asked.

“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

“And by the way,” the blonde added, “it’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

I’m not going to saying anything although I’m dying to!

Letting Go of Control

Most of us are “control freaks” when it comes to controlling outcomes. I know I am. We want to take whatever comes our way, things of the unsavory nature and we want to change it or we spend time, sometimes lots of it, mulling over what we cannot control and instead of letting go or accepting it as a lost cause, we try to control the narrative.

“To find calm, let go of the need to control every outcome.” Unknown

I had a tough day yesterday and “calm” had flown the coop and was nowhere to be seen. I kept playing scenarios over and over again and no matter how many times I kept playing it over, the outcome was the same. It was done and dusted and there was nothing I could do about it but to let it go. The only thing I could do was to control my feelings and how I viewed the situation. The other thing that was staring me in the face was that I had no control over the events of the day, only in how I dealt with it. It was time to let it go and I did.

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” Mandy Hale

I spent most of yesterday getting angry, agitated, frustrated, and whatever else you could throw into the pot, I was ready to take it all and to run with it! Human nature is such that we love to entertain problems. Truth is, problems do show up when we least expect them and they throw us for a loop when we come face to face with them. More often than not, anger and frustration accompany problems. Not knowing how to deal with them is why they appear in succession. In my case, it is the opportunity to fall off from the path of self-discovery I was on and to VENT for all its worth! Ok, it’s alright for awhile but I see the toll it takes on my psyche and even then, I refuse to stop, hell-bent on wrecking havoc as I go along on my path of self-righteousness! The good part is, I’ve learned when to put a stop to it. It took me most of the day but when evening rolled around, I was ready to come to my senses and to look at it with a clear head.

“One of the most rewarding and important moments in life is the moment you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.” marcandangel

Learning to let go of control is not easy because letting go of whatever it is means that you no longer have control over the situation. However, sometimes that is a good thing. You need to step back, view it from a distance and come up with solutions to break down the problem and to make it solvable. Yes, it takes time and it takes focus but it is better than going off the deep end as I did yesterday.

“Real strength isn’t control. It’s knowing when to let go.” Christopher Barzak

Have an amazing day.

Quotes

Marc and Angel Chernoff are a husband-and-wife team and they are known for sharing their strategies for happiness and success. They are also known for authoring NYT bestsellers like Getting Back to Happy and 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently. Here are some of their noteworthy quotes. Enjoy.

“When things aren’t adding up in your life, begin subtracting. Life gets a lot simpler when you clear the clutter that makes it complicated. Bring your attention back to what’s important, and move forward.”

Great advice but the problem is, I clear the clutter and then I add new ones to the equation! A lost cause?

“Don’t fall back into your old patterns. Toxic habits and behaviors always try to sneak back in when you’re doing better. Stay focused.”

Totally agree, they do sneak back in when I’m doing better. At times it seems like it is done on purpose to throw me off course.

“Your worth is not dependent on someone else’s ability to be kind and loving. Accept this, and start acknowledging your own worth. Stop waiting for others to tell you how important you are. Tell yourself, and believe it.”

This is a really good one. Your self-worth depends on you.

“Remember, you alone get to choose what matters and what doesn’t. The meaning of everything in your life has precisely the meaning you give it.”

This one hit hard. I’ve been going about it the wrong way. I usually give meaning to things that don’t matter, that is my problem. Time to change that.

“Someday you will understand the reasons….that it had to happen, just the way it did….to give you the lessons you needed to grow. It’s never ideal, and it’s rarely easy, but what doesn’t break you today only makes you stronger in the end. Take a deep breath, and keep going.”

The problem, I want to know the reasons now! Oh well, I am moving forward, that’s for sure.

“Everything gets a bit uncomfortable when it’s time to change. That’s just a part of the growth process. Things will get better. Be patient.”

I’m at that uncomfortable place right now. Waiting for the “things will get better” part!

“Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it. Sometimes what you never wanted or expected turns out to be what you need.”

Hmm…hard to grasp this one. I’m learning to trust the journey but it’s the last part that has me confused. Oh well, it will make sense I suppose when I get to journey’s end.

Have an amazing day.

A Frosty Morning

The rooftops are sprinkled with white and so are the streets this morning. No snow yet but frost was there. It looked cold outside and it was. Brrr!!! I bundled up adding a thick scarf around my neck but no gloves and that was a mistake.

I walked as I usually do taking the same path and as I approached the apple trees, I noticed that the mountain was barely visible. It was shrouded in a haze. Yes, it was cold as I shoved my freezing hands deeper into my coat pockets. Nothing was moving out there, just a big fat crow cawing about something. My guess is, it was complaining about the weather as well. It kept me company for a while until a neighbor came into view with her dog. We stopped, exchanged niceties and the topic turned to our kids. She has twins, a boy and a girl, each one as different as night and day. The girl is dark-haired and the boy a blond. The boy sweet-natured and an absolute sweatheart and the girl, not so much. They are both the same age as my son. The conversation turned to the children and how they were doing. Turns out, I’m not the only one having to deal with the “walking on eggshells” concept. She was having the same problem which made me feel a little bit better. I waved her on and took the other path heading to the fields.

It was quiet, too quiet. The world was still asleep and the “cold” it was now kissing the tip of my nose and it was time to head back. The weather forecast is predicting snow for Saturday. I’m actually looking forward to some snow to get me in the Christmas spirit. My ex told me that our son will be heading home for the holidays. He doesn’t want to stay with me because I have strict rules about letting his friends using my place as party central. The last time it was late nights, lots of noise and a constant run to the bathroom! They are no longer scrawny kids but tall, strapping young men! So, my son has decided to stay at his Oma’s, just a stone’s throw from where I live. I won’t have the hassle and he will still come visit. A win-win situation either way.

It was time for another cup of coffee but Chachi, the cat, just walked in and let out a loud meow! He loves having his mommy at home 24/7 and absolutely hates it when I take off for an hour or two. Spoiled? Absolutely, but I’m not complaining. It is kiss and cuddle time with the little brat!

Have an amazing day.

LOL!

A church-going man who’d been faithful to his wife for 40 years died and found himself in Heaven. Since his widow was still alive back on Earth, he was given a snug little hut to live in and a refrigerator with food and soft drinks.

One day, while he was strolling about, he saw a man he knew to be a total scoundrel – the guy had embezzled money, gambled himself deep in debt, drank like a fish, philandered all over town, and left multiple illegitimate children in his wake. He had a beautiful blonde girl on one arm and was carrying a bottle of Chivas Regal.

Enraged, the pious man went straight to Saint Peter and demanded an explanation. “I spent my life doing right by everything and I’m in this little hut with nothing special. That scoundrel drank, gambled, cheated, and stole – and you gave him a gorgeous girl and fancy whiskey!”
Saint Peter didn’t flinch. “Stay calm. It’s not as it appears. He’s got a bottle of Chivas Regal with a hole in it and a beautiful girl without one.”

Yup there is always a silver lining or things don’t always seem as they are!

LOL!

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, a leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy,

“Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?”

The guy replies, “I’m Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City.”

St. Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver,

“Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it’s the minister’s turn.

He stands erect and booms out,

“I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Calvary for the last forty-three years.”

St Peter consults his list. He says to the minister,

“Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

“Just a minute,” says the minister.

“That man was a taxi driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?!”

“Up here, we work by results,” says Saint Peter.

“While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed.”

Actually I did the same. While my uncle gave his sermon, I slept!

LOL!

Pat goes to confession and tells the priest:

“I’ve had sex with a woman who is not my wife”

“What’s the woman’s name”, asks the priest.

“Oh, I can’t tell you that”, says Pat.

“Well I can’t give you penance if you don’t tell me who it was.”

“Was it Mrs. Gilhooly”?

“No, father, it wasn’t.”

“Was it Mrs. Murphy”?

“No, father, it wasn’t “

“Was it Mrs. Jones”?

“No, father, it wasn’t “

“Well then Pat I can’t give you penance “, says the priest.

On the way out Pat meets Seamus.

“Well, Pat, did he give you penance?” asks Seamus.

“No, he didn’t, but he gave me three good leads”, says Pat.

Trusting Your Instincts

Where do I start?!! I want to say that I trust my instincts because I have a good head on my shoulders but, alas, it’s the other part that I worry about. The part that sees and doesn’t want to see and does its own thing. So far, it has been running rampant and doing whatever it wants. I call it “my heart.”

I am a softie when it comes to matters of the heart. Deep down inside I know that the path I’m taking is not a good one and it will lead to trouble but still I keep on, sometimes out of curiosity and sometimes out of sheer stupidity!

This journey of self-discovery I am on has helped to keep me on the straight and narrow but the heart wants what it wants. It wants excitement, the feeling of danger, the throbbing that comes from the adrenaline rush and so it goes. I’m not an adrenaline junkie, never have been, but I go for the “bad boys!” The ones I know from the get go that they are better left alone. However, I want to play the “helper” or rather the person who wants to save them from their misery.

Self-discovery has helped me to see things with a clearer perspective. Still, I am not all the way there. It is going to take time. Do I trust my instincts? Absolutely!

These days, I’m giving the “good guys” more than a chance. They are boring but it’s time to take my boots off (the adventurous ones) and to give those house slippers a chance to reign supreme. Who knows I may just find what I’m looking for. A nice guy with a heart of gold and one who doesn’t need saving!

Daily writing prompt

Do you trust your instincts?

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