What is human nature? One explanation refers to “the fundamental characteristics, ways of thinking, feeling, and acting that are generally considered to be inherent to human beings.” One can say we are pre-programmed to act in a certain way when faced with certain situations but nurture and social experiences do play a part in shaping individual behaviors as to how we react to certain outside stimuli.
Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity and I ‘m not sure about the universe.” Albert Einstein
“It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion.” Anatole France
I totally agree with this assumption. Been there and done that many times over!
“Human nature is deeply ingrained despite our best efforts difficult to change.” Unknown
This one shines the spotlight on the problem itself. Stupidity and stubbornness sometimes or often go hand-in-hand making it a lose-lose situation.
“It’s human nature to remember only what you want to remember and forget what you want to forget, or transform it into a different story.” Unknown
We are all good storytellers so I definitely agree with the transformation part so much so to our own detriment.
“I hate it when people argue in public and I’ve missed the beginning so I don’t know whose side I’m on.” Unknown
This too is human nature.
“People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought.” Unknown
Human nature at its best?
“I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.” Unknown
ME TOO!
“Even if you give them everything that they ask for, it’ll never be enough.” Unknown
Are we talking about men here?
Finally….
THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE
“You are not a pawn in a game controlled by others; you are an active player who can move the pieces at will and even rewrite the rules.” Robert Greene
There you go. You are not stuck where you are and you have the ability to change your life. You just need to start moving in the right direction. What about human nature? Tell it to take a hike!
Those high-pressurized days are over with. I’ve taken time off to concentrate on writing and I have all the time in the world to work on what I’m working on. No more churning out articles to meet deadlines and all the pressure that comes with it. These days the only form of stress that comes my way is dealing with what needs to be fixed around the house, Chachi, the cat’s demands, and stress of my own making!
So if that happens my go to method of unwinding is to take a walk in the garden which is geared for relaxation. It has a whimsical quality about it and just watching the butterflies fleeting from flower to flower is soothing and calming. Listening to the birds is something that helps me unwind as well. The bedroom is an oasis for relaxation and it is kept dark and cool. I never have the heat on in the bedroom, I like it cold with lots of blankets! Sometimes listening to music helps but nothing jarring. It has to be soft and mood inducing. If that fails, stand-up comedy helps to bring out the laughter and this definitely does the job of soothing a frazzled nerve.
Meditation and yoga are two of my current methods of winding down for the evening. I’ve always turned to yoga but took a break after hurting myself doing a pretzel move! No more twisting and turning or headstands for that matter. These days I listen to my body so 30 minutes of slow languid moves helps to tone the body, calm the mind and to restore the soul. Meditation and deep breathing combined are major when it comes to getting ready for bed. It never fails to calm my mind and to put it to bed. Not always an easy thing to do since my mind has a mind of its own!
First on the list is Chachi, the cat. I can’t do without him and he is my buddy, a close confidante and a joy maker. Just seeing him walk into the room with that John Wayne walk puts a smile on my face. Spending time with him brings happiness as well.
Writing is next on the list. Right now, I am drawing blanks but that happens and it is a momentary lapse. Soon my head will be raging with ideas and I will be ready to get it out and I will. I think my brain is saying enough already! It’s time for a break. I LOVE writing and it is a joyful thing to do.
Walking is naturally on my list. Not a day goes by without a walk in nature but I missed it today. I seem to have caught a cold so it was plenty of rest, liquids and TV time! It’s okay to have downtime now and then.
Meditation brings benefits I never thought was possible. I have a mind that jumps around and doesn’t sit still so meditation has been a good way to reel it in and to make it behave. It is a hard ask but it (my brain) is learning to toe the line or perhaps just pretending to do so! Meditation not only brings joy into my life but it is my safety net when I need peace and quiet.
Workouts are good for the mind, body and soul. I’ve always worked out so why stop now? However, I need to remember that I’m no longer a spring chicken but sometimes I forget and my body reminds me later. It’s all fine and good because I take it in stride although I’ve backed off from kickboxing but all the others are par for the course.
These are my methods for achieving happiness and believe it or not, it works. What about cheesecake? Okay, just a slice puts a smile on my face but it has been a game of tug of war since I started down that road, the cheesecake fetish path I mean, so I’m going to leave it out for now but I hear it CALLING!
Daily writing prompt
What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?
“It’s you versus you. Meaning you’re the only thing standing in your way.” Amber Tamblyn
The battle lines are often drawn when it comes to facing life’s adversities, difficulties and the unknown. How often do you say, “This is too hard to handle or I can’t do this!” Life’s uncertainties are often met with I am unworthy, I am too small, I am insignificant, I am not pretty enough, I am not capable, I am not enough and so on. We come up with so many excuses as to why we can’t achieve something or why it is impossible but if truth be told, we make mountains out of molehills. I often point my fingers at everything but myself. I become small and that problem, whatever it is, changes shape and becomes a mountain. It doesn’t matter that the mountain is of my own making, it’s there and it seems insurmountable.
What if we take a step back and view it from a different angle? Is it still insurmountable? How about if we changed our mindset to one of “I can” instead of “I can’t?” I know some problems are huge and they remain huge no matter which way you look at it but there are others that become that way because the “you” the negative “you” sees it that way and so it looms larger than life and once that negative mindset takes hold, it is all downhill from there. I’ve started looking at problems as just that. They are problems yes but I’ve decided to downsize them. I give them a cursory glance at first then I break it down into pieces and tackle it that way. Gone are the days of heart-thumping and end-of-the-world theatrics. No, it hasn’t made the problem any less of a problem but breaking it down does make it more manageable. Perhaps we need to remember it is not you vs. you but YOU working with you to come up with a solution, one that is workable.
It has been said you are your own worst enemy but what if you become your own best friend? Wouldn’t life be so much easier not to mention simpler? Here are some tips on how to do exactly that from the mindful.org.
When you look at the mirror, appreciate the unique person staring back at you – there’s never been another you!
When you talk to yourself, be friendly! Be understanding! NEVER BE MEAN!
When you need lovin’, give yourself a self-hug. Don’t knock it ’till you try it!
Don’t be shy to use your name and tell yourself that you love you.
Make a date with yourself to do something kind and caring.
Make yourself laugh.
Take time for contemplative practices that help you stay tuned in to your body, mind and emotions so that you might always be able to access your inner wisdom.
Idowu Koyenikan had this to say about problems.
“Mountains are only a problem when they are bigger than you. You should develop yourself so much that you become bigger than the mountains you face.”
If all else fails, you can give the “you” that is causing you problems a boot out the door! That should do it. Easier said than done I know and finally, YOU AREENOUGH AS YOU ARE so don’t underestimate yourself.
She is an American author and queer activist and her podcast “We Can Do Hard Things” won two webby awards. She is empowering, inspirational and her quotes speak to and touch the heart. It has been said that when Glennon Doyle speaks, women listen and I’m one of those women.
“When a women finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.”
Exactly where I’m at now.
“I looked hard at my faith, my friendships, my work, my sexuality, my entire life and asked, “How much of this was my idea? Who was I before I became who the world told me to be?”
I’ve asked myself the self-same question and the answer is, I was free as a bird!
“This life is mine alone. So I have stopped asking people for directions to places they’ve never been. There is no map, we are all pioneers.”
“I do not adjust myself to please the world. I am myself wherever I am, and I let the world adjust.”
I know this journey well. I am in the midst of it.
“I have met my self and I am going to care for her fiercely.”
Doing exactly that and I am seeing the benefits.
“We think our job as humans is to avoid pain, our job as parents is to protect our children from pain, and our job as friends is to fix each other’s pain. Maybe that’s why we all feel like failures so often – because we all have the wrong job description for love.”
This one made me stop in my tracks and to take a good hard look at what I’m doing.
“What I want to be, girls, is beautiful. Beautiful means ‘full of beauty.’ Beautiful is not about how you look on the outside. Beautiful is about what you’re made of. Beautiful people spend time discovering what their idea of beauty on this earth is. They know themselves well enough to know what they love, and they love themselves enough to fill up with a little of their particular kind of beauty each day.”
Beautifully said. What’s inside makes you shine on the outside and it can beat physical beauty hands down.
“Reading is my inhale and writing is my exhale.”
I haven’t done much inhaling lately but boy am I exhaling!
I’ve talked about my journey many times before. It is a journey designed to get me somewhere. Where do I want to go? I want to get to the top of that mountain. I want to say that I made it there leaving all the things that did not serve me behind and I want to feel the freedom of knowing that the “journey” was worthwhile and I can finally breathe again.
“Over time, I have come to believe that “brave” does not mean what we think it does. It does not mean “being afraid” and doing it anyway. Nope. Brave means listening to the still small voice inside and doing as it says. Regardless of what the rest of the world is saying.” Glennon Doyle
I still have a long ways to go but then again easy doesn’t cut it. It takes soul-searching, giving up what holds me back, knowing what I want and the courage to move forward not knowing what that path forward holds. The unknown is always scary but what if there is a “better” than where I am now? A better life, a better existence and perhaps even a better love. I am looking for that needle in the haystack but he is well-hidden and if he is there staring me in the face, I don’t see him yet.
Recently, I shared with a friend that I’m on the verge of giving up as far as that special someone is concerned. I told him I am tired of making treks in the wrong direction and that perhaps love is not in the cards for me. Perhaps, I should just say enough already and give up altogether.
He listened quietly as I vented and then said, “In German there is a saying, you find happiness when you least expect it.” It was profound, perhaps even holding a modicum of truth and coming from a guy wearing a bandana, it made me sit up and take notice. Not that I have anything against bandana-wearing men, I just didn’t expect this kind of deep thinking from him. He’s the rugged outdoorsy type but obviously has a soft core which he keeps well-hidden not visible to the naked eye. That said, nope he is not my guy. Anyway, the light went back on. I realized that I had met my ex when I wasn’t looking. It was my first night out after a long while of mourning over a break up and there he was. Our paths crossed and unknown to us both, the wheels had been set in motion and there was no stopping the path we were on. Perhaps, the inevitable happens when you least expect it and when the time is right.
If that is true, could we make it just a tad easier please? And if it does happen let’s make it forever this time around.
“Breathe through it and release anything that does not serve you.” Unknown
I’m no stranger to breathing. I do all kinds of different breathing techniques, I don’t believe in leaving it to chance so why not try everything there is to try and I might just hit the right one, the breathing technique that is, at some point in time. I’m also hoping that my intuition will take over and point me in the right direction but then fear, my best friend, comes in and blows it all to pieces. This journey has not been easy and making the wrong move from time to time always brings me back to square one. The message is clear, move slowly, one foot in front of the other. Patience is a virtue but not in my case. I’m like a petulant child who stomps her feet and demands that she gets it NOW! Life is not putting up with my temper tantrums so here I am again wondering where I went wrong this last time? I have to learn to bide my time, move with caution for the way forward is not easy to navigate and one false move and I am back to where I started from and I don’t want that.
“I was lucky enough to have been to rock bottom before, right? So I know for a fact, that rock bottom is always the beginning of the newness. It hurts and its painful, and then there’s the waiting……where you don’t know what the hell is going on and you don’t think any of it is going to make sense and then,
THERE’S THE RISING.”
I am waiting to exhale. I am waiting for “the rising” when all is made new again and I am given another chance at life, at love, at living and finally breathing freely again. I am looking forward to saying, “It was tough but I made it!”
A few weeks ago, I wrote about cleaning out my shoe closet, bagging up and getting rid of tons, yes tons of shoes that were taking up space. They were no longer needed because all they were doing was simply staring me in the face and living rent-free in my closet. It was time for them to go. Decision made but it was with a heavy heart that I gave them their freedom. They were free to go light up someone else’s eyes and perhaps more appropriately to go where they were truly needed.
“Fill your life with lots of experiences, not lots of things. Have incredible stories to tell, not incredible clutter in your closets.” Marc and Angel
I think life is simply an accumulation of holding on to things. It is a collection of things taking up space, emotions that surge and thrive on shaky ground and a constant struggle between the two. Clutter helps to shrink your physical space and minimize your mental capabilities. Letting go is hard and for someone like me who holds on for way longer than it is needed, decluttering is an almost impossible task to do.
“Clutter is not just the stuff on your floor – it’s anything that stands between you and the life you want to be living.” Peter Walsh
The problem is you can’t move on when you’re holding on to all that is not needed. There must be a conscious decision and effort to “clean house” meaning letting go of things that no longer serve you. Things and emotions that wear you down, make you lose track of where you need to go, which direction you will have to take to get there and most importantly a decision has to be made to let go, get rid off and open up space maybe for new clutter but the truth is, there is no moving forward if you’re standing still. You can’t do both.
“Simplifying your life isn’t just about decluttering your physical space, it’s also about clearing mental and emotional clutter.” Unknown
Understanding that, you’ve got to declutter. Most of us tend to have an iron grip on things that don’t matter and then we wonder why it is so hard to breath at times or to feel free. If it is not adding value to your life, let it go. If it is just taking up space, dump it. If it makes you feel like you’ve got to do something about it, that’s a clear signal that action is needed.
Focus, declutter, simplify, simplify, simplify. As for people and emotions:
“If your presence can’t add value to my LIFE, your absence will make no difference.” Unknown
Zig Ziglar called it the healthiest of all human emotions and it is one that is often overlooked in our day to day existence of what we call “living.” It is unpretentious, it takes its place quietly in the ranks of emotions and waits to be recognized like a step child who is often left wanting. More often than not we walk past without giving it the recognition it deserves.
“Gratitude helps you see what’s there instead of what isn’t.” Unknown
What is gratitude?
Simply put and according to graygroupintl.com, “It is a deep sense of appreciation for the good things in our lives, both big and small. It is about recognizing the positive aspects and expressing gratitude for them. When we practice gratitude, it not only benefits our mental health but also our physical well-being.”
If it is that important, why hasn’t this poster-child for good mental health been given more attention and accolades?
Perhaps, it is because as humans we have a tendency to overlook the “good stuff” and we tend to focus on the lack thereof and all the negatives it entails. If only I had this, then life would be so much better is the mantra we wear with pride and have hone it to an art form that we are blinded to the abundance that surrounds us.
“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.” Rumi
Practice it daily and it will turn your life around. I still haven’t grasped this concept of being grateful but I am working on it.
How do you practice gratitude? According to mindful.org, the people in the know, it starts like this and if you do it regularly, “it is a game-changer; it has far reaching effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others. Living your life with gratitude helps you notice the little wins— and over time strengthens your ability to notice the good.”
Start by observing. Notice the thank yous you say.
Keep a journal of all that you are grateful for and believe me there is plenty to be thankful for.
Make a vow to be grateful everyday.
Meditate – anchor yourself to the good things in your life. Be mindful and live in the present.
The day before was a tough day. Things just didn’t go the way I wanted it to and so my focus was on all the bad stuff which in turn helped me to go further down the rabbit hole. At the end of the day I decided that today would be better. The gratitude part didn’t come till later. I went ahead and booked a massage and as I was lying on the table, face down and staring into nothingness, listening to the soothing music in the background, a small voice said, “Say thank you.” I did and I repeated it several times just in case it didn’t hear me the first me! As the masseuse applied gentle strokes to my back, I realized that I was surrounded with and by abundance.
I slowly started counted off the things I was grateful for and the list was never-ending. The gorgeous day, the blue skies, my friends, the people who cared about my existence and last but not least the wonderful massage that helped to soothe my frazzled nerves. It was a game-changer. I walked out of there with a smile on my face, my woes forgotten for the moment at least and well-prepared for the day ahead.
If you can’t afford a massage even the simplest of things will do it. Go for a walk, pay attention to the sights and sounds, things that help to lift up your soul. It could be as simple as taking in a deep breath, or watching a bird in flight or a tree in bloom, its colors mesmerizing and the scent wafting by better than any artificially manufactured perfume but most of all say, “THANK YOU.” Be grateful for the abundance surrounding you, the roof over your head, the food, nature and all the little and big things that help to make up your life and soon the glass will no longer be half empty but overflowing. A friend said to me, “you need to do what you preach,” and he is right. Thank you friend for being my friend!
Practicing gratefulness is helping to turn things around in my life. It doesn’t come easily but the more I say thank you and appreciate what is around me, the less I see the negatives not that they aren’t there mind you, but to a lesser extent. This too takes time.
“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.” Tony Robbins
I don’t jump out of bed although the cat alarm clock starts going off at around 5:30 in the morning. Chachi, the cat, has had enough of this thing called sleeping and he is ready to go. He sits patiently on the bedside table and taps me on the forehead with one paw. If that doesn’t work, he runs one paw gently down the length of my hair! And if that doesn’t work, he gives it his all. He thumps me on the forehead again not too gently this time and lets out a HUGE sigh!
I spend the next few minutes cuddling up with little furball. He gets lots of kisses and hugs which sends his purring out of the stratosphere! He loves cuddling but only for a few minutes at a time. Then it is time to get out of bed and me looking like death warmed over (just kidding) I head to the bathroom and he waits outside huffing and puffing. Patience is not his strong suit.
Time for my first cup of coffee and my usual breakfast. One slice of toast with some fruit. Occasionally scrambled eggs are added but that is too much work in the mornings so I do the least amount of work possible. I head back upstairs, turn on the TV to see what havoc Trump has unleashed on the world. One thing is for sure, there are never-ending stories of a regime that has gone rogue but no surprises there. The only thing is we’ll have to put up with it for the next four years.
After breakfast, it is time to get ready for the day but before that I look to see what the Daily Prompt is about today. It gets my brain going. Shower comes next and after getting dressed I head downstairs. Some days I meditate but most days it is shoes on and off for a walk. I love being outdoors when no one is around. Sometimes I tell myself I have claustrophobia but it is all in my mind just as hypocondriac is. That’s my daily routine, I might throw in a workout or two but most days the routine stays the same, nothing earth-shattering but it gets me going.
Daily writing prompt
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?
It’s interesting how everything comes back to this one thing and that is breathing. We pay it very little mind as we rush through life and forget that it exists but only as something we take for granted. It is that motion of taking in a breath and letting it out that tells us we are alive but how are we breathing? Has stress made your breathing harder, has anger stopped it in its tracks or has sadness made it shallow and rhythmless? Probably all of those things and more. Yet, if we stopped breathing than life would come to a standstill.
I found some beautiful quotes that gets you thinking about this thoughtless process we call breathing. It speaks to just how beautiful and essential it is to breathe and to pay attention to the kind of breathing we are doing.
“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful its ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living, heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” LR Knost
Remember, you made it this far through difficulties that seemed impossible. Remember how many times you were saved at the very last minute – this time is no different.” Bryant McGill
“Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” Unknown
Did something or someone take your breath away today? The Magnolia tree out back took my breath away this morning. It is getting ready to bloom and soon it will be a showpiece as it is every year and it will be enough to take your breath away. The daffodils are shaking their yellow heads, their beauty simple but breathtaking. Most of all, the lone deer that ran through the fields this morning was mesmerizing and breathtaking as I stood and watched it do its spring dance of happiness. I got my daily dose of breathtaking moments today but I’m sure there will be more tomorrow, I just need to appreciate what’s in front of me.
“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breath and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are.” Unknown
