“Sometimes you just need to feel the rain. Let it beat upon your face, cleanse your soul and free your spirit!” Unknown
I want to dance in it like I used to as a young girl lost in a carefree world but since I’m a grown-up or rather older and wiser, I’m watching it from my kitchen window coffee mug in hand mesmerized by the steady drumming on the rooftops. It’s a soft drizzle enough to wet the ground and to give the plant life the much needed relief it needs from days of heat and no rain.
Two blackbirds are dancing out there as they move from tree to tree and they seem to be having fun. I’d love to be out there with them twirling on my toes, arms held out like some ethereal being as I let the softness of rain wash away the hardness of living. Nature has a way of taking away the rough edges that life puts around us, it has a way of mellowing and blurring, just like the day is doing out there today.
There is none of the harshness of a hot sun, the parched ground is being fed again and the soft steady drizzle of rain is doing a mighty fine job of soothing my inner being. I love rain, always have, not the ones filled with thunder and slashes of lightning but this soft variety that seems to be murmuring to my soul, washing away the cobwebs that have been gathering there the last few days and erasing and cleansing my spirit as I twirl and dance in my mind’s eye, a young girl once again lost in the magic of nature’s way.
“Rain is nature’s way of adding a little soul to life.” Unknown
It gets me out in the open and nature is something I like to get lost in. I have a slight case of claustrophobia and when I am outdoors I feel free and one with nature. Just letting my mind wander aimlessly is a great way to lose track of time
Writing
This is a daily must. It gets my creative juices flowing and sometimes it helps to bring focus to things I am dealing with. It is a way to let go of frustrations, anger, sadness and sometimes just to get some relief from the here and now. It is also a great way to gather my thoughts, put them in perspective and to get moving in the right direction and some days I do lose track of time and wonder where the time went.
Meditation
This is my go to method to get rid of stress and whatever else bothers me. I go into a quiet space and nothing seems to matter anymore. I get quiet for 20 minutes or sometimes longer and escape into a void of nothingness. Thoughts do creep in but not for long. My focus is getting better and the thoughts come and go but I stay where I’m at. I would like to do an hour or so of meditation but my mind screams, ENOUGH ALREADY! One day, I will get there.
Daydreaming
A perfect way to lose track of time and a delicious way I might add. There is nothing pressing, nothing to take care of and nothing to worry about. I go with whatever captures my imagination and let it ride for a while. Sometimes it may be birds in flight, or a plane flying way up high or just the pigeons cooing on the rooftops and sometimes the flight of a butterfly moving from flower to flower. Just senseless observations but it creates a space where my soul flies and losing track of time in such a state of mind is a wonderful place to be in, for a time anyway.
These are some of my favorite activities but there are others I use to a lesser degree. All in all, I’ve come up with some wonderful ways of losing track of time and I’m always looking for new ways!
The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as: “an ability to understand or know something immediately based on your feelings rather than facts.” In other words, it is often referred to as your gut feeling and it is a powerful tool and if you pay attention to it, it has the ability to stop you from getting into dire circumstances. It all boils down to, if we pay attention to it but as humans that is a hard thing to do.
It is that gnawing sensation within your gut which tells you something is off or doesn’t feel right. It is that innate sense of knowing between right and wrong and it is the truth within that speaks louder than words. Listen to it because it only has your best interest at heart.
I know I’ve turned my back on it many a times. I’ve heard it whispering, “Listen to me. Pay heed because you’re treading in dangerous waters and you will get hurt.” Yet, I chose to turn my back on it all because I thought I knew better or simply put, I wanted something I couldn’t have. When I found out my ex was cheating on me, my intuition knew way before the truth ever came out. Looking back, I heard it roaring inside me and still I had blinders on until I came face to face with it but if truth be told, I KNEW long before I found out. Knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less. It has been said:
A Women’s Intuition is Dangerous
“If she keeps questioning you about a specific topic, over and over again, she isn’t looking for an answer. Most of the time, she already knows the truth but wants to see if you’re going to be honest with her.” M. Sosa
Even now and many years later since I got rid of the cheater, I still find myself in situations which tells me that taking my “intuition” seriously doesn’t come easily. I can often hear it ROARING loudly but I tend to choose the other route, more specifically the path of my own making and lo and behold, there I am again stuck knee-deep in a mess of my own making. If only I had listened…..
So, the next time, you hear that little voice within, or that giant roar that booms loudly telling you to jump ship before it is too late, HEED IT, PAY ATTENTION TO IT and say thank you. It is only looking out for you.
“Never discredit your gut instinct. You are not paranoid. Your body can pick up on bad vibrations. If something deep inside of you says something is not right about a person or situation, trust it.” Simple Reminders
Or else you’ll keep seeing this over and over again.
Breakfast is a must. I usually have a light breakfast and it is pretty much the same everyday. I admit it is boring but I’m a low-energy person in the mornings so anything more than a piece of toast seems elaborate! This is what living single does to you! Gone are the large breakfasts with eggs, bacon, pancakes, toasts and sometimes an omelette. These days, simple is the name of the game. Sometimes, I might add a slice of fruit. This morning, I had papaya and it was delicious.
Shower is a must. I hate baths but showers I love. I spend a lot of time in the shower sometimes just humming to myself and sometimes doing my beauty routine but not going to go into that here. Let’s just say, I take grooming seriously.
Some days, it’s a run to the supermarket to stock up on stuff and on other days, the pet store is on my list. Chachi, the cat, goes through food like crazy and his back end does show the after-effects of too much indulging. Like he says, “Mom, I have nothing better to do!” He’s right there but he works out with me so he is healthy that way. I do meet up with friends once or twice a week just to have coffee and catch up on things and that is enough for the week!
Workouts are a must, not a day goes by without some form of workout. I’m into Pilates now and sometimes the fusion stuff. Cardio is a must and so is yoga. Meditation is next on the list and breathing techniques are right there at the top of the list. Writing is a daily affair. Day dreaming is another must and just destressing for all its worth! Eating healthy is part and parcel of a healthy lifestyle so meal planning comes into play. I don’t spend days in advance planning but I do think about lunch and dinner when the day starts. Waiting till the last minute means I eat just about anything when hunger strikes like cheesecake! Yes, I still do have the craving for that creamy bit of nothingness and it still has a hold on me. We have a love-hate relationship going.
Getting a goodnight’s sleep is very important so I start preparing early. I have dinner at 5, yes, that’s early but after dinner, I don’t snack and I don’t eat anything else until morning rolls around. Shower comes next and it is time to get into something comfortable. The roomier the better! I do another round of meditation to get ready and then lights out at 9:30 p.m. and it’s cuddling time with the little brat, I mean with Chachi, the cat. I usually sleep through but since Chachi is crepuscular, he’s up and about, but that doesn’t really bother me.
Those are some of my daily habits. Weekends are a whole different story and you don’t want to know what those habits are!
There is an unstoppable force within you and it is called the power within. It can do the impossible if you let it. You, my friend, are more than the circumstances that surround you and YOU are capable and more than enough to overcome those circumstances.
“You have the power within yourself to make anything possible, you must diminish the doubt and ignite the self belief.” Leon Brown
“The strongest force in the universe isn’t found in the stars, it’s within you! Ignite your passion, fuel it with belief, and watch as your courage sets the world ablaze.” Unknown
“Strength does not come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” Rikki Rogers
“It’s time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you.” Marcus Aurelius
“So wear your strongest posture and see your hardest times as more than just the times you fell, but a range of mountains you learned to climb.” Morgan Harper Nichols.
Just a note to the person facing the new beginning today. YOU are fully capable of handling anything and everything. Believe in yourself, hold your head up high and you have won half the battle, the rest will fall into place. Good luck on your journey today, I am rooting for you!
According to Wikipedia, it is defined as “an emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil and includes feelings of dread over anticipated events.”
Panic attacks, on the other hand, “are sudden periods of intense fear and discomfort that may include palpitations, otherwise defined as a rapid, irregular heartbeat, sweating, chest pain or discomfort, shortness of breath, trembling, dizziness, numbness, confusion, or a sense of impending doom or loss of control.”
These are not very nice emotions but I’m sure that you’ve experienced them at some point in your life and in my case, “anxiety” visits more often than I want it to. Not to a crippling degree but when it does, I want it to leave like an unwanted visitor who is not welcomed to stay.
According to verywellmind.com, there is a simple technique to take the power away from anxiety. They call it the 333 rule. This rule is said to be a gamechanger on how to manage anxiety.
Notice three things you can see around you. Observe the objects carefully. Note the details, colors, and shapes. This process helps to shift your focus from internal anxiety to your external environment.
Listen closely. Identify three sounds you can hear. They could be loud or subtle sounds and concentrate on them. This also takes your focus away from the internal turmoil and puts it on something else.
Move three parts of your body. Roll your shoulders, wiggle your toes or just turn your head. Pay attention to the sensations caused by each movement.
Repeat all three as many times as necessary until you feel calm and collected.
If that fails, then here are some quotes to get you on the way.
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Anne Lamott
I love this one. Unplugging in my case means going within to a place of quiet. Meditation is my go to method and breathing techniques are another way of quieting the mind and to let nirvana reign.
“Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.” Jodi Picoult
True. You’ve got to move meaning you’ve got to do the work to get rid of anxiety. You can choose to sit still and “rock” but staying still in one spot is not going to do it. Anxiety needs action.
“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” Mandy Hale
Taking a breath and letting go has worked but not always. The “see what happens” part scares me but it’s worth a try.
“Living with anxiety is like being followed by a voice. It knows all your insecurities and uses them against you. It gets to the point when it’s the loudest voice in the room –it’s the only one you hear.” Unknown
Shut it down, make room for the stillness to come in and take a step in the right direction, one step at a time. If all else fails, put an “out of order sign on your forehead” and retreat. Let anxiety go through you. It’ll find its way out in a little while, it always does.
LET GO OF CONTROL AND KNOW THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.
If you’re looking for ways to transform your life, here are five tips that will get you on your way. These five rules come from Buddhist teachings and if applied daily and in the mornings before your daily grind starts or even before having your first cup of coffee, they will help you to see life in a different light. I’ve been practicing these five rules for about a week now and it has made me calmer, more in tune with myself and believe it or not, my mind is under control as well!
Find a quiet spot and take three deep breaths to center yourself. Repeat each affirmation two or three times to let it sink in and take hold.
I am grateful for this new day.
Really simple but not so simple for some of us. Gratefulness needs to be learned and if practiced daily, it can transform your life in a positive way. Come up with one or two things you are grateful for and go from there.
Let go of yesterday.
This is a hard one. How often do we carry “yesterday” and all its disappointments, anger and sadness like an albatross around our necks? More often than not is the answer. Let go and let yesterday lie where it should. It is done with and today is a brand new day to make it all better.
I am calm and in control of my mind.
It has been said, “Rule your mind or it will rule you.” This simply means, “you have the power to train your thoughts and control your mental state, rather then being controlled by your thoughts and emotions.” Be in the present and use conscious effort to train your mind to shape the thoughts you entertain. “Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.” Guard them with care.
I will respond with kindness today.
Listen without judgment or interruption. Show appreciation for the people around you and an act of goodwill doesn’t hurt either. Wear a smile while you’re doing it and change the world one act at a time.
Everything is temporary.
Know that change is inevitable, it will come whether you want it or not. Nothing is forever except change so learn to let go when it happens. Accepting impermanence can help you to appreciate the present moment and adjust to new situations as they happen.
Five rules to live by but it takes practice to get it down pat and to apply it to your life. Not easy but with practice it is doable. Good luck and see you on the other side of a life well-lived! 👍
Feeling down? Nothing’s going right? You’re in a down phase? The world’s a cruel place? Prince Charming is a no show?
You’re not alone. Give it time, work on yourself but in the meantime here are some tips to pep up your mood and get you soaring again.
MEDITATION
It’s been around for a long long time and it still works today. Just five minutes a day will quiet the mind and send those endorphins spiraling upwards. Try it. Close your eyes, go within. Take a breath, hold for 4 counts and let it out for six. Watch the transformation take place. You’ve got to keep at it to reap the benefits.
NATURE
It is my all-time favorite activity. Nature soothes, nature calms and it teaches how to give those stress hormones a run for the money. Just 10 minutes a day should do it. You’ll come back feeling refreshed and ready to tackle anything the world throws your way. A cup of coffee later and I’m raring to go!
GRATITUDE
This is an important mood booster. Never underestimate the power of gratitude. It has the power to change your mindset and to take you from the glass is half empty to the glass is all kinds of full! Try it. Think of three things you are grateful for right now. Not that bad is it?
LAUGHTER
Find something to laugh about everyday. It has been said, laughter is the best medicine. It really is. I watch standup comedies or funny movies to boost my mood and to release stress. Laughter also strengthens the immune system and releases cortisol and adrenaline, two main stress hormones. Chronic stress puts your health at risk so laugh it away. Aim for a dose of laughter each day.
JOURNALING
It is “the practice of regularly writing down your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and reflections.” This is my way of getting my pent up emotions out in the open. Believe me, it’s a miracle worker and once you get them out, you do feel a lot lighter. Write it down, get it out, do the dance and set it free! It’s a definite pep me up!
SMILE
This one comes naturally to me. I smile a lot. Just having a smile on your face tricks your brain into thinking you’re happy and it releases the “feel-good” chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. These are needed in your arsenal to add to your overall well-being. So, SMILE for all you’re worth!
Just a few tips to rev up your mood. These methods work for me and I hope it does for you as well.
“Be so positive that negative people don’t want to be near you.”
According to one source, “Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.”
That said, when was the last time you talked to yourself with compassion? When was the last time you gave yourself some extra care and when was the last time you took care of your needs first. I don’t do those things often enough but it is necessary for your total well-being. Some days, I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off taking care of others and on other days, I am my own worst critic. I am quick to blame and I stay there for a while to my own detriment. When I emerge from this destructive behavior, I am usually in a bad mood or everything seems just a tad gloomier.
We need to be nicer to the person we carry around. Compassion is needed and positive self-talk as well. Start by loving yourself first and it will create a ripple effect in the world around you. I think women are natural caregivers and in the process we forget to take care of ourselves. It’s time to stop and smell the roses even if it’s only for a little while. Enjoy the following quotes that bring “self-love” to the forefront and try to shine the spotlight on “YOU” for a change.
FRIENDLY REMINDER:
“It’s perfectly okay if the only exercise you get today is flipping the pages of a book or stirring your tea or smiling with friends. Well-being means your WHOLE body. Make sure your soul is getting as much exercise as your glutes.”
I sometimes forget to give my “soul” the same kind of attention I give to my body. Time to take note and do different.
“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor
Another important point here. Set those boundaries so you know in which direction you’re headed.
“Self-confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.” Unknown
“Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.” Unknown
It’s true isn’t it? How someone sees you is not your problem. You are enough as you are and always remember that.
Here are a few more for good measure.
“Don’t let your mind bully your body.”
“Remember how you show up for yourself is how you teach others to show up for you.”
“Choose yourself more.”
“Life is too short to be mean to yourself.”
“Less self judgment and more self compassion.”
“Choose people who choose you.”
“Live your life like the story you want to be in.”
“Quiet the mind and the soul will speak.” Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati
An important quote that speaks to the importance of quieting the mental chatter that runs rampant in our daily lives. Meditation takes us back to the quiet within. It is a practice that tames the mind and one that gives us access to deeper wisdom and intuition.
In Buddhism, “meditation is a core practice that involves training the mind to achieve a state of calmness, clarity, and insight, ultimately leading towards enlightenment and liberation from suffering.”
It has been said that the Buddha meditated for 49 days under the Bodhi tree to gain enlightenment, however, we don’t have to take it to that extreme to reap the benefits. Starting out with 10 minutes a day helps to quiet some of the chatter. I do 30 minutes a day. Find a quiet space, sit down with legs crossed, if that is next to impossible, you can sit with legs outstretched. Close your eyes and go within. Concentrating on the Third Eye Chakra helps to keep unwanted thoughts at bay. They will enter, it’s only normal, acknowledge and let go. Where’s the Third Eye Chakra? It is located in the center of the forehead between the eyebrows. It is said to regulate sleep and some say it has “the ability to see beyond the physical realm and access deeper levels of consciousness.”
All fine and good but my goal is to quiet the mind, give it respite from the constant chatter and to smack it down from the constant negative self-talk as well. Meditation has helped me to do just that. Combine meditation with deep breathing and you have a sleep-inducer of the highest order! Take a deep breath to the count of four and release to the count of six or eight. It works wonders. Don’t get agitated if your mind does hoops and refuses to settle down, given time it will. Patience is required so don’t give up too quickly. I started out with 10 minutes of meditation and have worked my way to 30 minutes a day. It is doable.
“Meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet. It’s a way of entering into the quiet that’s already there.” Deepak Chopra
AND
“The goal of meditation isn’t to control your thoughts, it’s to stop letting them control you.” Unknown
