mindfulness – Page 4

Raincoat Weather

Looks like rain moved in and it had rained last night. I had planned on a long walk this morning but had to think twice about being out there in the fields with the winds picking up speed. I looked for my raincoat that I bought last year but never had a chance to wear and it was just taking up space in my cupboard.

Today, I reached for it. It is a black and white striped number that has sweatshirt material sewn into the hoodie. Nice looking and since I was hell-bent on going for a walk, I slipped it on, paired it with a pair of maroon sweats and grey boots. Piling my long hair on my head and fastening it with a clip, face bare of anything except for a light lip conditioner and I was ready to go.

The wind was blustery as I approached the fields. The indigo-colored clouds seemed to be holding more rain. They were moving in waves across the mountains. Nothing else was moving out there except for the occasional crow flying overhead and the pigeons grazing in the fields. The farmers had done a good job of clearing away the cornfields and the rapeseed plants were down to the roots.

I walked hands shoved into my pockets. It wasn’t cold but the wind was strong and I was glad I had my hair up because the wind was doing a job picking out strands as they whipped around my face. Something about the wind when it pulls and tugs. I like the feel of it brushing against my face. All was quiet today except for the cawing of a lone crow or two. Fall was definitely moving in on silent feet. Soon the leaves will start to turn and then they will fall and gather on the ground. It will be colder and much nicer for walks!

The walk took all of 40 minutes but my mind is clearer, my thoughts are taking shape and I am thankful for a brand new day. I know not what this day will hold and if it will be good or bad. However, I know I am equipped to handle whatever comes my way just as nature is doing.

Have an amazing day.

Know Your Worth!

This is a nice one. I read it somewhere and it made me sit up and take notice because quite often we let our “value” go unnoticed and settle for way less than we are worth.

A father said to his son, “You graduated with honors. Here is a Volkswagen Beetle that I bought many years ago….it is over 50 years old, but before I give it to you, take it to a dealership downtown and ask how much they are offering you.”

The son went to the dealership, came back to his father and said, “They offered me $10,000 because it looks very used.” The father said, “Take it to the pawn shop.”

The son went to the pawn shop, came back and said, “They only offered me $1,000 because they say it is too old.”

Finally, the father asked his son to take the car to a classic car club and show it there. The son took the car to the club, came back and said, “Some people at the club offered me $100,000 because it is a very rare car and sought after among the members.”

The father said to his son, “I wanted you to understand that the right place appreciates you in the right way. If they don’t value you, don’t be angry, it just means you’re in the wrong place. Those who know your value are the ones who truly appreciate you. Never stay in a place where they don’t recognize your value!

Know your worth, know your value and if you are not appreciated, LEAVE The right person will know your worth and will appreciate you for who you are.

Have an amazing day.

Stop Caring Too Much

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There are people who just care too much about anything and everything. And then there are people who don’t give a flying flip about what you say about them and these are the people who seem to be leading better lives. The ones who don’t let anything get more than skin-deep and if something does land on them like a pesky insect, they are quick to give it a swipe and off they go none the worse for wear.

“Life is better when you stop caring too much.” Unknown

However, there is another group who takes everything to heart. They just care about what has been said, how it was said and what did it mean?!! These people have cubbyholes, a place they go to where they can sit in silence with their woes and take them apart, piece by piece, one action or comment at a time. These are also the people and I include myself in this group, who have a hard time letting go, who swirl in self-doubt because some mean person didn’t want to see them do better or because more often than not, they are doormats. They let people walk all over them leaving wounds, hurts, and a sense of deep unrest in their wake. The truth is there are people whose only goal in life is to put people down. Why? It’s because they are in a bad place and they want someone or anyone to keep them company. Misery loves company as they say.

Knowing this, how do you learn to stop caring too much?

According to one source, you need to set firm boundaries. You don’t have to please everyone and say “no” to situations that drain you.

Put yourself first. Focus on your own well-being and mental health. Take care of yourself.

Invest in personal growth. Pursue your own passions, activities and goals that bring you enjoyment.

Practice mindfulness. Embrace the present moment and don’t let your feelings control you.

Embrace imperfections. Accept that things will go wrong and people may disappoint you.

Build self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness as you would a friend.

Lastly, let go of people and situations that don’t contribute to your well-being. If every time something good happens to you and they are there to tear you down, let them go. Negativity brings more negativity. Throw that “doormat” mentality out the door and look for positive strokes that make you feel good, fill you with positive vibes and one that puts a smile on your face instead of a frown. YOU deserve only the best.

Have an amazing day.

Relaxation

Relaxation is a big word in my life as everything is focused on or around it. No matter how stressful life gets or how chaotic things are, relaxation is one of the things that I try to do everyday without fail.

It could be as simple as a walk in nature for about 20 minutes, a workout at home for 30 minutes, a meditative practice for however long I like and just simply breathing for all its worth. All of these methods help me to relax and to give the “stress” monster a kick out the door. It wasn’t always this way. Life had me in its grip and I found myself on the go all the time and there was no time to stop and smell the roses even if I wanted to. Then I made a conscious decision to step back, go into the recluse mode, throw what didn’t serve me out the door and to give relaxation the all-important spot as being number 1 in my day-to-day routine.

These days, I am learning to relax at the drop of a coin. If something bugs me, I grab one of my go to methods for relaxation and retreat into a world of peace and nirvana. Just 15 minutes a day does the trick and “no time” is not an excuse. You do have the time to do what is good for you. Forget about the world and all those to do lists, you come first so do something good for yourself.

I must admit I’m not where I should be. There are days when everything falls apart and relaxation is nowhere to be seen no matter how hard I try. Taking a break is alright too but come back to that state of mind where life is simple and all you need to do is breathe and let the world do its thing without you in it for a while.

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens.” Mandy Hale

Daily writing prompt

How do you relax?

View all responses

I AM LEARNING (Archives)

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

I am learning that each new day is a reminder to do better.

I am learning that I am fully capable of dealing with everything life throws my way.

I am learning that I need to practice gratefulness and to be thankful for all that I have.

I am learning to accept me as I am and to make changes if some of those things don’t work to my greater good.

I am learning to let go of things that don’t serve me and I am making room for those that do.

I am learning that I can’t change people, I can only change myself.

I am learning that life is a journey full of ups and downs and nothing stays the same forever.

I am learning that there is no such thing as forever, just the here and now.

I am learning that love is fleeting at its best and at its worst, it has the potential to turn your world upside down and inside out. Tread carefully.

I am learning that cheaters never change. They are repeat offenders. Integrity is just another word to them. A relationship with such an individual is like throwing pearls at pigs.

I am learning that today is a blessing, a gift and I have it in my power to make it an amazing day.

I am learning that life is ever-changing. It is a learning curve and mistakes are made to show us a new way of handling things and to learn and to grow from them. Perhaps that is what life is all about.

“But most of all, I am slowly learning how to just be in this moment. How to exist. How to understand that I cannot control life, that I can only experience it in both its light and its dark stages. I am slowly learning how to laugh and cry and feel through it all, how to welcome the confusion and the joy that come with loving and living and breaking. I am slowly learning how to accept where I am”

“I am slowly learning how to simply believe in the person I am becoming.” Unknown

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

MONSTERS!

I’ve talked about the monsters that walk amongst us, the kind who show up when you least expect it or when you are in the wrong place at the wrong time and the ones who don’t think twice about taking a life without so much as giving a thought to what they are doing. I’ve written about them in my posts and these “monsters” exist and there are plenty more out there than you think.

“Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.” Stephen King

The kind of “monsters” I want to talk about is more of the subtle kind but just as destructive. They don’t take a toll on you physically but they do more than enough to destroy you mentally and emotionally. They live within us and only show up when life takes us in a certain direction and we find ourselves unable to control or understand what is happening.

“Everyone carries around his own monsters.” Richard Pryor

Monsters are often seen as powerful creatures with the ability to wreck havoc and sometimes those powerful and overwhelming emotions can feel that way too. Fear and anger can make us feel unsafe or out of control. The unknown can feel like a “monster” at times and when you harbor “emotional monsters” the kind that take you on roller coaster rides, you are facing monsters of another kind but just as scary and powerful nonetheless.

How do you overcome emotional monsters?

One source says that in order to overcome these so called monsters, you have to identify and label your emotions to better manage them.

Allow yourself to feel those emotions rather than block them out. Emotions are a part of life and provide signals that something needs attention. Take them seriously.

Journaling helps you to gain clarity and to process your emotions.

Deep breathing helps to calm the nervous system.

This next one is definitely worth a try. Notice five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. I guess after going through that roll call, the “monsters” will either take a hike or disappear altogether!

The last tip is to practice mindfulness. It helps to bring awareness and it also helps to control your mind and emotions. I find that staying in the here and now helps me to do exactly that.

“The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls.” Edgar Allan Poe

True, but “monsters” can be tamed if we take control of our minds and show them the door each time they show up. If you keep doing it often enough, they might just stay away. One can only hope.

Have an amazing day.

A Chill in the Air

There was a definite chill in the air as I took my morning walk. I was earlier than usual and not even the farmers were there ready to start their day. The hay bales stood as before, silent and heralding the approach of a new season. No deer to be seen today, perhaps I was too early even for them.

The sun was shining but the chill made me pull my sweat jacket closer around me. The Rapeseed plants have been mowed down and there is a clear view everywhere. I’m sure those plants will show up again in spring but for now, it is time to take a well-earned rest before they put on their glorious display next spring. I am grateful for the view ahead with nothing to block it. The mountains seem to emerging from their slumber and with the sun shining, they are clearly visible, no longer shrouded in mystery as they usually are.

I walked keeping an eye out for the herons but they are a no show today. They must be asleep as well. A sudden cawing of a crow brought me out of my reverie and as I moved my eyes skywards, one flew over my head. They are raucous creatures but they thrive over here. Something about the open spaces or maybe even the graveyard nearby. They often congregate there. Makes you wonder why doesn’t it?

I made it to where the apple trees are and they are bogged down with apples. A bumper crop this year it seems. I left them alone as I have enough apples on my one lone apple tree in the garden and I would have to give some of them away. However, I know where the wild grapes grow and I headed in that direction. There they were hanging like beautiful works of art waiting to be picked. Some were still green, but some were a dark purple and I picked a few for a snack later. There is nothing better than freshly picked anything!

The walk was uneventful but it helped to clear my mind of the cobwebs that were already gathering there. I have a clean slate to start my day on and it is a beautiful feeling of peace and unadulterated joy? Perhaps, not quite joy but just akin to that. Just then, the first farmer approached on his huge tractor blocking the pathway so I got on the field to let him pass. He waved as he passed and I waved back with a smile. They must be getting used to this lone female who loves the fields as much as they do!

Have an amazing day.

Favorite Time of Day?

Any time of day can be a favorite time if things work out right and all is going well. However, my favorite time of day is when I am feeling calm, collected, mind free of worries and with Chachi, the cat, by my side. Add a day with beautiful blue skies, a light breeze and not too hot and you’ve got my favorite kind of day.

Ok, let’s see. I love mornings when I am up early and the world is still asleep. Listening to the birds in the trees and the constant cooing of pigeons on the rooftops is soothing and my mind is at rest. Any time my mind is at rest is a good thing so mornings do that. Chachi’s purring is an additional bonus to that feeling of contentment.

Afternoons are a time when sometimes it is hectic and sometimes I am halfway through things. It is not a peaceful feeling. I don’t take naps in the afternoons as most people around here do because if I do I wake up feeling groggy and not rested at all. I usually spend the afternoons writing, cleaning or doing whatever mundane stuff that needs to be done or needs taken care off.

Evenings, I love at times. Sometimes it is calming as the day comes to an end. Sitting outside and watching dusk approach is a nice thing to do and listening to the day settling down is another beautiful thing. This is also the time when I do my meditation practice and sometimes my breathing routine. Calming down and clearing my mind is of the utmost importance before going to bed for a goodnight’s rest. Evenings are all about bringing the day to a close with intention and preparing myself for the rest that is to come. Sometimes it is my favorite time of day as well.

It changes from time to time and it all depends on what I have going on. Days without chaos, hustle and bustle and a constant churning of the mind on how to fix things, take care of things and bring things back to normal are not my favorite times. Take them out and you’ve got my favorite time of day!

Daily writing prompt

What’s your favorite time of day?

View all responses

Mistakes

We’ve all made them. Big ones, small ones and the in-between ones. Some are insignificant and others, well, they can turn your world upside down and leave you gasping for air! Some mistakes teach us lessons and others help us to see and act better the next time around. When all is said and done, mistakes are a part of life and a life without mistakes, well, it just means a life without new experiences.

Here are some poignant quotes that speak to the heart of the matter:

“When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it, and don’t repeat it. Paul Bear Bryant

Not that easy right? I admit sometimes it is next to impossible not to repeat it because we as humans are wired a certain way and we love rubbing noses with MISTAKES!

“Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before.” Unknown

True but there is a hell of a lot you have to do before that happens.

“You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it’s not a mistake, it’s a choice.” Steven Denn

I’ve made those “choices” many times over!

“You can pick up a mistake and carry it as a burden; or you can set it down and use it a stepping stone to greatness.” Unknown

I’m still waiting for the “greatness” part to happen!

“Don’t carry your mistakes around with you, instead, place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones.” Unknown

Exactly what I’m doing.

“You must be big enough to admit your mistakes, smart enough to learn from them, and strong enough to correct them.” John C. Maxwell

That last part is what I’m having trouble with!

“The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake – you can’t learn anything from being perfect.” Adam Osborne

True but who wants to be perfect? Cut out the mistakes please!

“Mistakes made in life are our lessons in disguise, and sometimes, the best lessons learned, came from the worse ‘mistakes’ made.” Unknown

I can whole-heartedly attest to that one.

AND

“I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more.” Unknown

Hear the sarcasm coming through?

Have an amazing day.

The Downer!

September 4th is approaching and it seems to be flying in on wings! I’ve managed to keep my mood up but last night, it went crushing down and I was back to Square 1.

We never think about health or rather we take it for granted until something unexpected crops up that could put a new spin or twist on things. This current “scare” could potentially do that and maybe even change my day-to-day existence as I know it.

I went spiralling down last night. Once I hit rock bottom, it was time to sit up and take notice of where I was. I had fought so hard to crawl out of that rabbit hole and wowed never to go back down there again. Life in its wisdom had other plans or so it seems. However, you’re allowed to spiral and you’re allowed to hit rock bottom because “the journey” is not going to be smooth sailing and I am aware of that. You will stand still at some point and you will hit rock bottom again and wonder what happened. Life did. Take stock of where you’re at but don’t stay there for too long. It’s time to dust off and stand back up. There is no other choice.

Someone told me this story of a young man in his 40s, picture of health until he went in for a routine checkup. The scan showed one brain tumor. His partner asked, “How long does he have?” The doctor replied, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” The young man, however, did not seem fazed by the news and was ready to take another trip. He can’t do anything about it so he was not going to waste a lot of time thinking about what might lie ahead of him and instead decided to enjoy the time he had.

Another friend told me to just go read my articles! Basically, he was saying I should take the same advice I was putting out there!

They both mean well but they’re not walking in my shoes. I’m scared and that is okay. I don’t want to take the test because a tube of radiation material will be injected into my tiny tiny veins! Believe me, they are tiny. More than that, the idea of that liquid invading my body makes me cringe. What might show up is another story altogether.

So I spent time sitting at the bottom of that rabbit hole, and let the tears flow. Sometimes crying is not a bad thing. I made up all the sorry stories I could and added and embellished like I would a Christmas tree. When all was said and done, it was time to crawl back out of the hole and to start moving again. I still have more than a week before I meet my nemesis, not cheesecake this time but that big machine which may or may not change my life.

Fingers and toes crossed and a kiss on Chachi, the cat’s cute little nose for good luck!