mindfulness – Page 5

Make Commitments Not Excuses (Archives)

“When confronted with a challenge, the committed heart will search for a solution. The undecided heart searches for an escape.” Andy Andrews

Commitment is a must if you want to succeed in getting something done, accomplish goals or simply in moving forward. However, commitment is often met with excuses and the easy route is to make an excuse for why you are not capable of doing something and to leave whatever it is that needed done just dangling in mid-air, an unfinished task so to speak. It is often accompanied by “If only I had….” at a later point in time.

“Commitment is defined as the state of quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.”

It takes work, a certain tunnel-vision to stay on the straight and narrow and to see it through. At times, it is boring and it takes tremendous effort. Excuses, on the other hand, are easy to come by.

Looking for a job is hard work because it will take effort, focus and an unwavering mentality. I really don’t want to leave my comfort zone and be out there looking is not going to cut it. I would rather be watching something on TV or playing computer games is not how you are going to be able to pay your bills. It may be fun but not in the long run. However, this excuse comes with a big price tag attached to it at a later point in time.

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Unknown

How about making excuses in a relationship? Instead of building a relationship most excuse-mongers have one foot in a relationship and out chasing rainbows looking for that pot of gold with the other. Problem is they wind up losing what they had in the first place. Their excuse is, “I’m not sure.” That is one stupid excuse because keeping several fires burning is not the answer. Dedication is. Build instead of tearing it down.

“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.” Unknown

There there are all kinds of other excuses. One for every topic it seems and those excuses are the ones which keep you from achieving the goals. The all important goal of moving on in life, of making something out of life, of being with that one special someone and so on and so forth. Excuses are a dime a dozen and the path to hell is lined with them! Commitment takes courage, fortitude, a certain mindset and it is success oriented.

“Commitment is an act, not a word.” Unknown

It is what transforms a dream into a reality and it takes more than just dreaming about it. Learn what it takes to make it a reality and go after it. Never giving up is a key element and showing “excuses” the door is another sure way of getting to where you want to be. You can stay awhile in “excuses-land” but only long enough to wet your feet and then move with dedication to the end goal. If you want success, dedication and commitment is the way to go.

“There’s always a way if you’re committed.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

The Changing of the Guard

Just another morning in the grand scheme of things but it was a little different. Getting up early as usual, I found Chachi’s face almost plastered next to mine! The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes were his big expressive eyes staring back at me. Nothing new there. Just the norm in our world of being hooked on each other.

The thing that was different was how dark it looked outside compared to yesterday. The sun was a no show and everything was shrouded in a veil of darkness. A change of season approaching quietly but surely? Chachi walked up to the big window in the kitchen and let out a loud meow and went, “My TV is not working Mommy!” Oh well, he needs to be patient and it will fix itself.

My daily walk in the fields a short while later was more of the same. It was a little lighter but the sun was sure taking its time this morning. I walked knowing my path well, I could have done it with my eyes closed! A lone deer emerged from the forest line and stood there for a while before taking off to where it was familiar just as I was doing. The sky was a pearl grey and streaks of pink were starting to appear at the mountain tops. It is supposed to be cooler today but it will be sunny and warm.

My eyes scanned the horizon as I walked, my feet heavy as I trudged along the rock strewn path. No one and nothing was moving BUT there was much happening beneath my feet that my naked eyes could not see. The changing of the guard was taking place and the preparation was well under way or wherever “nature” holds its meeting to get things moving.

Turning back I noticed six bales of hay stacked on top of each other and just in front of them three deer grazing. A beautiful sight to behold. Soon, there will be more signs of another season approaching and it will be done like clockwork. A miracle? Absolutely.

“To walk in nature is to witness a thousand miracles.” Mary Davis

Have an amazing day.

Your Choice

Happiness is a choice although some may disagree. I feel that it starts from within and works its way out. It is going to take work as with everything else in life that is worth having.

“Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not.”

Valerie Bertinelli.

If you’re looking at outside factors to validate your existence, if you’re waiting for people to give you what you need to be happy, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Happiness is a choice you make and therein lies the secret of being happy.

It has been said that, “true happiness isn’t a destination, but a way of living….cultivated through intentional practices.” What do you need to be happy? Money? Love? Freedom? Peace? The answer is that it takes all of those things and more. However, there are some key secrets to leading a happy life. They are, “prioritizing positive relationships, practicing gratitude, engaging in meaningful activities, and managing stress effectively.”

These are all good and positive ways you can achieve happiness and to keep it there for a while. However, it is not a switch that you turn on and off. If you want the long-lasting kind of “happiness” you need to make positive choices that help to foster dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and andorphins, the happy hormones. It is something you need to work towards and things like developing resilience, setting intentions and making good choices help to influence “your emotional state and overall well-being.”

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama

It takes time to cultivate. Daily habits of the positive nature help to get you there. Being kind to yourself helps to strengthen that happiness factor and training your mind to stay positive all help to see life not through rose-tinted glasses but for what it is. Work, work and more work!

“Every choice comes with a consequence. Once you make a choice, you must accept responsibility. You cannot escape the consequences of your choices, whether you like them or not.” Roy T. Bennett

One small step at a time and remember that with discomfort comes growth.

Have a “happiness-filled” day!

The Haircut Trauma!

I finally got my haircut! Walking into the salon with a peace offering in hand, a box of chocolates for being a no show the other day, I had a smile carefully plastered on my face and was greeted with the same.

She was busy working on another client but turned and went, “Wow! Look at you! Your hair is sooo long!” with a sparkle in her eye. She has cut and styled my hair for many years now and I’m learning that she loves long hair! Everytime, I walk in that salon, I come out looking the same!

Anyway, I handed her the peace offering and a grin crossed her face.

HER: “Thank you! You shouldn’t have. Take a seat and I’ll be right with you!.”

I took my seat and out of the inner sanctum, a young guy appeared, not sure could have been a girl and said, “Follow me.” I was shown to the stylist’s chair and then asked, “Can I get you some tea?” This is normal procedure for a salon that charges an arm and a leg for a haircut. I opted for water but he/she brought me some tea as well.

Someone else walked out and ushered me to the shampoo bowl. What followed was heaven! My hair was shampooed, conditioned and massaged! Those were all the good parts. Then I was back in the chair and prepped for a haircut. The stylist appeared all smiles.

HER: “What can I do for you today? I wouldn’t take too much off, looks good as it is.”

ME: “It’s too long. I do want quite a bit taken off.”

A look crossed her face which said, “We’ll see about that!”

She made all the motions of clipping and trimming. Immediately I noticed that not much was being cut off. Then started the small talk. This is done to distract you! She fluffed, she measured and she trimmed, not cut, but trimmed. Then she handed me the mirror and said, “Looks lovely. Long hair suits you!”

It looked the same as when I walked in! Seeing the look of dismay on my face, she said quickly, “Let’s dry it.”

I squeaked, “It looks the same.” You’ve got to understand that in Europe, hairstylists are like Gods over here, just like the doctors and such! They know best. So, she proceeded to dry and kept saying, “It’s going to look good.” I think she was trying to convince herself more than anyone else.

The finished product looked a tad better but I still looked like I was all hair and very little else! I wanted to say, take it off another 3 inches! Instead, I walked out of there sans an arm and a leg and very little to show for it.

This morning I washed out all the stuff they put on there as part of the haircut experience. Lo and behold, the truth was staring me in the face. I was still “all hair” but it was shaped a little better and instead of my hair hanging long and flat, it seemed to have more life to it. However, I wanted it shorter, much shorter and the only way I was going to get that is if I did it myself!

It’s done for now. Live and let live until the next time around. Did I tell you I hate haircuts? I hate them just like the dental visits and all the things that go to make up what is needed to put your best face forward!

Have an amazing day.

Mr. Right!

I met up with my girlfriend yesterday. It was our usual weekly meeting to catch up on stuff and to let the conversation take us to where it wants to go. Two cups of coffee and a simple breakfast of eggs, a bread roll and a side salad usually accompanies the meeting.

Yesterday was no different. It started out with small talk and then it did a major U-Turn! The conversation went to men and in particular about Mr. Right. Don’t ask me why but it just did.

“Very few women wait for Mr. Right. Most women take the first and worst Mr. Wrong.” Elfriede Jelinek

Ring any bells? It does with me. Anyway, she was on this path of destruction. According to her, Mr. Right does not exist. I’ll add that’s because in her world, she’s into fun and nothing more. Mr. Right can stay in Africa for all she cares!

I was hanging onto my ideals for dear life. Fun is the last thing on my mind and getting anywhere is next to impossible. She decided to give me a lesson on how to find Mr. Right. Chachi, the cat, tried yesterday but he didn’t get anywhere but I didn’t tell her that.

HER: “You’re doing it all wrong. If you don’t give an inch, you’ll never find him!

ME: “It doesn’t work that way with me.”

HER: “Sure it can. Live a little or rather take that “stick” and send it packing!”

ME: “Can’t. It’s my constant companion.”

HER: “You see what the problem is don’t you? Men like some fun and you’re NO FUN!”

Okay guys, you get the drift. I wanted to point out to her that her method doesn’t work either. She’s always moaning about how the men she dates are the “here today and gone tomorrow,” variety. I wanted to tell her why but decided to keep it to myself. It goes on the lines of, “easy come, easy go.” She was on a rant fest and I let her have her way.

Friends are allowed to rant now and then. I’m allowed to let it go in one ear and out the other. It is exactly what I did. Coming back to Mr. Right, experts say, “the focus should be on building a fulfilling relationship with the person you are with.” Finding the right fit is important and someone who matches your lifestyle is also important. They don’t have to be perfect and imperfections are allowed as well.

“Find a heart that loves you at your worst, and arms that will hold you at your weakest.” Unknown

AND

“When you stop trying to find the right man and start becoming the right woman, the right man will eventually find his way to you.”

Something to bear in mind and as for Chachi and my girlfriend, I do things my way. Unfortunately, you become “dangerous” after being on the path of self-discovery because the wrong ones tend to disappear and the right ones? Well, it will take a little time before they start appearing. One can only hope!

Have an amazing day.

YOU ARE IMPORTANT (Archives)

Quite often, we let the people we interact with on a daily basis, the world around us with its idiosyncrasies and events that happen to us interpret how we feel, how we react and how much worth we give it and if we are important or not in the grand scheme of things. I am guilty as charged.

The Dalai Lama said it best, “Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.”

Yet we do it time and time again. Just yesterday, a girlfriend broke up with her so called boyfriend. He was for all purposes a NO-GO as far as I am concerned and it was clear for all to see including her but she is in a difficult place nonetheless. Finding out she was “not important” is a devastating cross to bear even if she saw it coming. Yet, this is nothing new. We hand over how important we are in a relationship to the other person and forget in the process that YOU as a person matter and you define how important you are and what you will stand for and what you won’t put up with.

“When you are important to another person, that person will always find a way to make time for you. No excuses, no lies and no broken promises.” Unknown

Relationships are hard enough as it is to navigate without having to deal with the “invisible man,” meaning the guy who says he loves you but when it comes down to showing you that you are important, he shows time and again that YOU are an afterthought and as far as the importance scale goes you are on the bottom rung of the ladder. No guessing game needed here. You will know and it is up to you to put yourself front and center and say, enough is enough!

“You are important and you matter.

Your voice matters.

Your life matters.

Your feelings matter.

Your story matters.

ALWAYS.” Unknown

Let me add to that. You as a person matters and don’t take yourself for granted either.

One Day It Just Clicks

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself.

You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you smile.

You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.” Steve Maraboli

Finally,

“Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher.” Unknown

You are well worth the effort and don’t let someone show you otherwise. Your worth is determined by you so stand tall and show the world that YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

Have an amazing day.

Chachi’s Say!

Waking up early this morning, I had a plan in mind. Breakfast, take out the trash, clean-up a little, put on my sweatpants, t-shirt and head on to where I feel the most comfortable and where my creative juices get to rev up. I did all of that except for the walk. It came to a screeching halt when I took the plastic trash bin out and realized that it was HOT!

I checked the weather forecast and it is going to be hot today. I’m not into sweaty weather so I came back in with another plan in mind. I have an appointment tomorrow so why not look my best. I decided to slater on the new black mask which is supposed to clean out any unwanted stuff on your face. Thirty minutes and your skin can breathe again. Instead of getting started right away, I decided to get lunch going. It was still early but I love to plan everything ahead of time.

On the menu today is stir-fried Chinese style noodles with Bok Choy and minced or ground meat. The sauce is spicy made more so by the addition of Gochuyang Hot Pepper Paste. This is my go to now when I want things spicy. It does the job pretty well and it tastes great. Anyway, I went out to the garden to see if I could add more stuff to the pan. Sure enough, the chilies were ready. They look like Jalapeno peppers so I added one to the pan. The cherry tomatoes were ripe so I added a couple chopped up as well. Looks like it is going to be a good meal.

Then it was back upstairs and I put the mask on. Chachi, the little Munchkin, walked in and immediately took a step back. The look was somewhere between I can’t believe this and yucks!

HIM: “MOM, you need to get a grip on things! This look is not going to do if you want to attract your one and only.”

ME: “What do you know about that? Anyway, you don’t like any of the guys.”

HIM: “No, I don’t like any of them especially the cheesecake guy! I’m glad he is a no show now! Still the sloppy look and now this is an absolute no go.”

ME: “You’re far from an expert.”

HIM: “Back in the day…..”

ME: “Back in the day?!! What day?”

HIM: “I know things and this is not going to do. You look like the creature from the Black Lagoon!”

I picked him up and brought him downstairs and laid him gently in his basket by the window. Look out there, maybe Little Miss Ipanema is out and about. That’s his on and off girlfriend. She is all black with piercing green eyes and she is known as the village beauty amongst other things! She was sitting on the shed sunning herself but her eyes were trained on Chachi.

“I’m going back upstairs to get some peace. Don’t get any ideas about that little thing out there. She’s not for you!”

Just then she turned her eyes on me.

“Hey Chach, your mom’s a B I * * H! You are a pretty boy but that mother of yours looks like she could scare the hell out of anyone!”

That’s it. I’ve decided that she is not a suitable candidate or rather good girlfriend material for my little guy. So dream on about the pretty boy and that’s where it’s going to stay!

Just then, Chachi piped up.

“See I told you so. That look is not taking you anywhere!”

Just the start to another day in Chachi Land!

Have an amazing day.

Just Another Day

Have you ever had one of those days where you had it all planned out only to find out that life in its wisdom had other things planned?

I had a perfect Sunday planned. A nice restful sleep, get up whenever, breakfast in bed, cuddle with Chachi, the cat, and just hit the snooze button. I had all of that in mind when I got ready for bed last night. Feeling comfortable in my 3 sizes too big shirt, one of the perks of not having a guy by your side, I had done my nightly routine. Deep breathing, meditation and of course yoga. This ancient art form does wonders and I’m back to doing all the Pretzel twists that this requires short of headstands. Feeling good after torturing my body, I was ready for a goodnight’s rest with visions of a nice Sunday dancing in my head.

Guess what? Life had other plans. Waking up this morning, nice and early, I made a plan for the day. I was down to two piles of paperwork that needed sorting. My inner being, the one that sometimes has great ideas was whispering softly in my ears, “Let it all go to HELL!” Hmm…sounds like a great idea especially for a Sunday.

Then I glanced at my iPhone and noticed this message. “Updates are available, will install tonight.” Hmm…it has been saying that for the last two days! I am a Tech klutz as I’ve mentioned here before and this spelled trouble one that could throw my Sunday into something unrecognizable!

“Calm down!” I told myself. Reaching for my steady companion, I Googled! Why didn’t it do automatic updates as it had been doing? WHY?!! The answers came back. It could be shortage of space and a whole host of other things! Not good! A lazy breakfast in bed had flown out the window and now, I just wanted to get the update done but was afraid to press any buttons! The people at Apple are all about the updates! The Tech gods sitting up there somewhere keep coming up with new things all the time all in the name of security. The Fort Knox variety!

Anyway, I Googled for all I was worth! An hour later, I decided to take the plunge. Going to Settings and there grinning back at me was the latest update.

“Now what?” it said. “I dare you!”

I hit update and it immediately went to update followed by a blank screen! Nothing happened for a few minutes and then the Apple logo came on. It showed it was uploading or rather downloading? Who cares, it was doing something. How long? Google told me it could take 30 minutes to one hour. I was nervous.

I went downstairs to get my coffee and breakfast. Ten minutes later, I was back upstairs and it said, “Your iPhone has been updated!” Then it asked for my PIN and luckily I had it written down. Leaving nothing to chance these days! I put it in and it is up and running!

Just as I was taking a well-deserved deep breath, I glanced over at the floor where the sun was shining, and there clearly visible were the dust bunnies laughing their heads off!

“We’re back!” was all they said.

Just then, Chachi, the cat walked in wearing his macho pants.

“Mommy!”

ME: “I don’t want to hear it!”

That folks is the start of my Sunday!

Have an amazing day.

Things That Rattle!

Things that rattle can be used, “to describe things that are unsettling, unstable, or cause anxiety.”

Friday started out great. I was up early, the sun was out and I was ready to take a walk in nature. My mind was clear and devoid of unsettling stuff, the kind that accompanies me on my daily walks but yesterday, it had gone into hiding and for once, I was feeling like a blank slate not that it happens often. Most days that slate is overflowing with things that even Einstein would have a hard time figuring out.

Anyway, off I went to my favorite place in the world. The fields. It was quiet, calm and just waking up. However, the farmers were already there getting their tractors ready to break the silence. I waved and they waved back. Taking my usual route, I headed to the apple trees. Visibility was clear on both sides since the farmers had done their job of cutting down the Rapeseed plants. Claustrophobia was nowhere to be seen either. I did a quick walk and just as they started their engines, I headed back to tackle the day.

I was at peace and ready for another cup of coffee. The day was beginning on a good note. Just then, the phone started ringing, the sound jarring. It was too early for a phone call and probably nothing good I thought.

The voice on the other end sounded agitated.

SHE: “You forgot your appointment this morning.”

ME: “What appointment?”

SHE: “Your haircut appointment.”

Oh God! The rattling was taking off and the “peace” of a few minutes ago was shattered and in pieces at my feet!

A quick glance in my appointment book confirmed it but somehow I had the wrong date on it. The rattling was louder now. I apologized profusely and made a note to bring some chocolates the next time I showed up there.

The rest of the day took a deep dive because I was too busy wondering what I could do to make up to them. It’s funny how “small things,” can take you on a path of unrest, uneasiness, and total chaos! That blank slate was filling up at an alarming rate and not with anything of the good kind! Suddenly, the “new me” stepped in. The one who wants “peace” as her mainstay. No cape needed, all I had to do was to shut it down! The constant chattering was shown the door and not too ceremoniously either! I had made my peace with the situation and I will rectify it at a later point in time. Now it was enough. No more “what ifs,” just PEACE! It is amazing what your mind can do when told to “heel” in a no-nonsense tone. It took its cue and left me in peace.

“You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” Dan Millman

Have an amazing Sunday.

Mandy Hale Quotes

The lady speaks to struggles that women face, but more importantly she speaks to the heart of the matter. Her quotes reach deep and it also teaches us how to overcome adversity and to get to a better place in life. Here are some of her most beautiful and heartwarming quotes.

“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”

I’m my own person now and validation from a man or anyone for that matter is a thing of the past.

“Without standards you’ll settle for anything. Rise up and become what you hope to attract.”

This one is so important. Set your boundaries before you go out looking is the message.

“The most important day is the day you decide you’re good enough for you. It’s the day you set yourself free.”

Absolutely

“Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful without needing someone to tell you.”

I’m learning to do exactly that.

“If you carry the bricks from your last relationship, you’ll end up building the same house.”

Been there, done there and trying to rectify that.

“She’s a lot.

You’re right….I’m a lot. With a lot of layers, a lot of personality. A lot of dreams, a lot of ideas. A lot of strategies, a lot of emotions. A lot of love.

So yeah, I am a lot.”

“If you don’t see your own worth, you’ll always choose people who don’t see it either.”

Know that you’re more than good enough. This way if he shows you that you are not enough, you can show him the door right away!

“Realize that if a door closed, it’s because what was behind it wasn’t meant for you.”

Hard and painful to grasp but it is the truth.

“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.

You are allowed to outgrow people. This includes past versions of yourself.”

Absolutely.

This last one speaks to every woman who has struggled to find herself.

And I would find myself again. Not the same version of me that I was looking for, but a stronger version. A wiser version…A woman who had been tried in the fire but instead of being burned by it, came out gold.

A woman who finally after doubting and questioning and striving and hustling for her worth for years….came to the realization that she was and is and has always been…

ENOUGH

MORE THAN ENOUGH!