personal-growth – Page 3

Trust the Journey (Archives)

Mental Note:

Trust your journey.

“No matter how many detours we take or delays we encounter, we will always be led back to where we’re meant to be.” Nicole Spindler

Beautifully said but trusting the journey you’re on is hard and accepting that everything will turn out for the best is harder still. Humans want control of the situation or at least I do. I don’t like the idea of some unseen force manipulating the outcome and that is a frightening concept for me. However, if truth be told, perhaps there is no other way. You’ve heard the saying, if it is meant to be, it will be and what if we just let go and let it unfold as it was meant to be. A doable thing? Speaking from my standpoint, that is next to impossible for me.

“Don’t let what happens or what doesn’t happen bother you. Life has a way of rearranging perfectly so that what you truly need can come together.” Unknown

If I step aside that is. My problem is that I want to know what is coming up or what life has in store for me before it comes up. I spend a lot of time overthinking the negatives even before it has happened but that is human nature I suppose. Much of my time is wasted on projections that never take place and if and when it happens I am fully capable of handling the outcome.

Trusting the journey I am on demands that I accept what comes my way. “Be quiet” whispers the all-knowing power of the unknown, the universe or God in his wisdom or whatever you believe in. It says, “Let me work this out for you, I’ve got this and you need to trust in the journey. You’ll be fine.” The untrusting part within screams, “I’m afraid! What if I fail or I fall flat on my face or there is no getting up from this?” That too is human nature.

“Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers softly, “You got this, keep going.” Unknown

Perhaps, trusting the journey is not about rushing, not pushing and shoving and not about stomping your feet and demanding but that it is more about accepting that everything is being worked out behind the scenes and you just need to sit back and accept and know that the outcome will be exactly as it was meant to be. It doesn’t mean you have to stop working on yourself, putting effort out on what needs to be done and making your way through life, it means knowing that there is a higher force who is on your side. Not so simple? I know, it isn’t for me either. What if there is a higher power working on your behalf and it has got your back? Wonderful don’t you think? Now, I just need to trust in that concept. Good luck you say? I know but it’s worth a try.

“Trust the process, trust your journey. You are going TO BE OKAY.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

You vs. You (Archives)

“It’s you versus you. Meaning you’re the only thing standing in your way.” Amber Tamblyn

The battle lines are often drawn when it comes to facing life’s adversities, difficulties and the unknown. How often do you say, “This is too hard to handle or I can’t do this!” Life’s uncertainties are often met with, I am unworthy, I am too small, I am insignificant, I am not pretty enough, I am not capable, I am not enough and so on. We come up with so many excuses as to why we can’t achieve something or why it is impossible but if truth be told, we make mountains out of molehills. I often point my fingers at everything but myself. I become small and that problem, whatever it is, changes shape and becomes a mountain. It doesn’t matter that the mountain is of my own making, it’s there and it seems insurmountable.

What if we take a step back and view it from a different angle? Is it still insurmountable? How about if we changed our mindset to one of “I can” instead of “I can’t?” I know some problems are huge and they remain huge no matter which way you look at it but there are others that become that way because the “you” the negative “you” sees it that way and so it looms larger than life and once that negative mindset takes hold, it is all downhill from there. I’ve started looking at problems as just that. They are problems yes but I’ve decided to downsize them. I give them a cursory glance at first then I break it down into pieces and tackle it that way. Gone are the days of heart-thumping and end-of-the-world theatrics. No, it hasn’t made the problem any less of a problem but breaking it down does make it more manageable. Perhaps we need to remember it is not you vs. you but YOU working with you to come up with a solution, one that is workable.

It has been said you are your own worst enemy but what if you become your own best friend? Wouldn’t life be so much easier not to mention simpler? Here are some tips on how to do exactly that from the mindful.org.

When you look at the mirror, appreciate the unique person staring back at you – there’s never been another you!

When you talk to yourself, be friendly! Be understanding! NEVER BE MEAN!

When you need lovin’, give yourself a self-hug. Don’t knock it ’till you try it!

Don’t be shy to use your name and tell yourself that you love you.

Make a date with yourself to do something kind and caring.

Make yourself laugh.

Take time for contemplative practices that help you stay tuned in to your body, mind and emotions so that you might always be able to access your inner wisdom.

Idowu Koyenikan had this to say about problems.

“Mountains are only a problem when they are bigger than you. You should develop yourself so much that you become bigger than the mountains you face.”

If all else fails, you can give the “you” that is causing you problems a boot out the door! That should do it. Easier said than done I know and finally, YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE so don’t underestimate yourself.

Have an amazing day.

I AM LEARNING (Archives)

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I am learning that each new day is a reminder to do better.

I am learning that I am fully capable of dealing with everything life throws my way.

I am learning that I need to practice gratefulness and to be thankful for all that I have.

I am learning to accept me as I am and to make changes if some of those things don’t work to my greater good.

I am learning to let go of things that don’t serve me and I am making room for those that do.

I am learning that I can’t change people, I can only change myself.

I am learning that life is a journey full of ups and downs and nothing stays the same forever.

I am learning that there is no such thing as forever, just the here and now.

I am learning that love is fleeting at its best and at its worst, it has the potential to turn your world upside down and inside out. Tread carefully.

I am learning that cheaters never change. They are repeat offenders. Integrity is just another word to them. A relationship with such an individual is like throwing pearls at pigs.

I am learning that today is a blessing, a gift and I have it in my power to make it an amazing day.

I am learning that life is ever-changing. It is a learning curve and mistakes are made to show us a new way of handling things and to learn and grow from it. Perhaps that is what life is all about.

“But most of all, I am slowly learning how to just be in this moment. How to exist. How to understand that I cannot control life, that I can only experience it in both its light and its dark stages. I am slowly learning how to laugh and cry and feel through it all, how to welcome the confusion and the joy that come with loving and living and breaking. I am slowly learning how to accept where I am”

“I am slowly learning how to simply believe in the person I am becoming.” Unknown

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!

The “Me” Concept (Archives)

Who am I? Sounds simple enough but this is a hard one to answer. It encompasses all of you, the big picture so to speak. Who you are, what you stand for, what shaped you and the experiences that have made you, the “YOU” of today are all part and parcel of this concept. Understanding yourself is vital to how you interact with the world around you. There is only one YOU, and your identity is unique. It is made up of your values, your beliefs, your relationships and your experiences and that in a nutshell is who you are as a person.

However, interacting with the world around you is not always an easy thing to do. It is much bigger than you are and sometimes downright scary. Here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter and might even help with where you are in the grand scheme of things as far as your world is concerned.

“Focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.” Unknown

One step at a time if you want to get somewhere and looking at that whole journey might just be a tad too overwhelming to say the least. Do it slowly and carefully and you’ll get there when the time is right.

“Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.” Unknown

Absolutely worth taking a note of. How often do we hang around people who make us feel less than we are? It is time to clean house and start afresh with people worthy of your company.

“The problem isn’t that your friends aren’t showing up for you…

The problem is that you’re still calling them friends.” Unknown

“You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Choose carefully” Unknown

How true? Choose your friends carefully and the rest will fall into place.

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story,

LEAVE.” Mo Willems

If something is not working and it becomes a struggle, change your strategy. You are not stuck where you are, there is always a way out to start anew. You just need to have the courage to say “I can do this” and move on.

“She wanted something else, something different, something more, passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second.” Nicholas Sparks

There you have it. Stop being the option and start being the priority. Stop choosing people who do not choose you.

Understand this….

“You can sound confident and have anxiety. You can look healthy but feel like shit. You can look happy and be miserable inside. You can be good looking and feel ugly. So be kind, because every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Unknown

Kindness matters so JUST BE KIND!

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

This actually speaks to the whole concept of who you are. What you do eventually becomes your character. Choose wisely and do the right thing.

“Learn to be done with people, not mad, not bothered but just done.” Unknown

This is hard for someone like me. It takes a lot to say I am done but I am learning. Sometimes it is a matter of survival the choices you make. Choose wisely.

“In the end, she became more than what she expected. She became the journey, and like all journeys, she did not end. She simply changed directions and kept going.” Unknown

This last one is poignant. I have been on a journey of self-discovery and self-development for quite a while now. I am learning to give up what does not serve me, to change directions and to move towards what does. Not always easy I know but this is where self-awareness and self-worth comes in to guide you and to make it just a little less scarier than it is.

Have an amazing day.

FOCUS

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It is one of the hardest things to do. You’ve got a plan in hand, all set to go, you take off and then you come to a screeching halt! What happened? Life did. Your focus is not on what you need to get done, the noise surrounding you is too loud, it is hard to concentrate and “giving up” is less work and easier to do. You are at a standstill not knowing which direction to take or worse still, you don’t have the energy to carry on.

“Starve your distractions, feed your focus.” Unknown

How do you starve your distractions? First, what are distractions? They are defined as, “things like technology (phones, social media, websites, YouTube, video games, Netflix), other people, or noises around you,” all vying for your attention and quite often they win.

“Stay focused on your goals and ignore the noise.” Unknown

Not easy to do, I know. I’ve let distractions get the better of me and what I could have achieved in a short amount of time took forever and a longer route to get there. You have a plan? If not, make one. You want to get somewhere? You’ve got to focus. Here’s the truth. If you don’t focus, you’re left by the wayside. Tony Robbins once said, “Your life is controlled by what you focus on.”

Focus on the good things and you get more of the same. Focus on doing better and you will. Focus on what’s in front of you and you’ll start moving forward.

FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS!

Oh, one more thing.

“You decide how to show up, and you’d better come correct: the way you look, what you say, how you act and react. No excuses! Get in front of the mirror and own what you see. You may have to drag your fabulousness out of hiding, but it’s there.” Alyssa Edwards

AND

“The more you focus on you, the better you become.” Unknown

Cut out the noise and the excuses. Zero in on what you want. You’re allowed to waver now and then but get back on track. FOCUS, and you’re halfway there, the rest needs work!

Have an amazing day.

Learn to Care Less (Archives)

“Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.” Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Caring less about things maybe the easiest way to acquire happiness but how many of us do that? How often do we obsess about things we cannot change? More times than I can remember. How often do we let someone trigger something in us and we carry it around for days mulling over every word and detail to the point that nothing else matters but that one little problem but only by this time, it isn’t a small problem anymore but had morphed and become unsolvable! How many times have we let someone bring us down just because something hurtful was said and we take it to heart, handle it like a precious thing and let our self-esteem go to pieces? More times than I can count on my fingers.

Here’s the thing:

“The less you give a damn the happier you will be.” Unknown

Something happened yesterday and I took what was handed to me, went to my corner as I usually do and let it do a number on me! Happiness was nowhere to be seen and my piece of mind was in shambles at my feet. Even then, I refused to let go. I was like a dog with a bone until I stopped and decided to let go of what I was holding within and told myself that there was nothing I could do about the situation. No amount of anger, sadness and wishing, yes wishing was going to change it for the better. I took a deep breath and let it go….

“Stop asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.” Unknown

That’s the problem isn’t it? We keep allowing things to happen and to hold us in its grasp. If only we could take away the power from the problem at hand and learn to look at it with detachment versus with both feet smack dap in the middle! Learning to care less takes practice especially if you’re the type who cares too much about anything and everything.

LET IT GO……and learn to relax. Problems do have a way of righting themselves out and sometimes with very little help from you. Give it some time, give it some space but most of all, don’t hug it close to your heart. Learn to care less and you’ll be less stressed at and with life. This doesn’t mean being a less caring person it just means picking your battles carefully and when you do, be prepared to look at them with less emotion. Step back and go to work but not with guns blazing! I have to remind myself of this too.

ONE DAY IT JUST CLICKS

“You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what others think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover and you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.”

Have an amazing day.

LIMITLESS (Archives)

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“There is one grand lie – that we are limited. The only limits we have are the limits we believe.” Wayne Dyer

Do you feel smaller than you are or have you made yourself to feel that way? Did one careless word, a disdainful look or one mean retort shrink you down to size? Did you believe those lies willingly? Often, we take those lies thrown in our direction and run with them and we come up with more lies. I am not worthy, I am not enough, I am not equipped to deal with whatever life throws my way and I just can’t! That last one is my mantra. I CAN’T!

YOU ARE LIMITLESS

“The most powerful words in the universe are the words you say to yourself.” Unknown

Be careful of what you say to yourself. Limiting beliefs are just that, they stop you from achieving or moving towards the goals you want to achieve. Words and phrases like, I’m not beautiful, I’m not good enough, I’m not intelligent enough and I’m not worthy enough but perhaps the most damaging is, “I don’t deserve it.” Limiting words stop us in our treks and they stop us from achieving our goals. Be careful of what you tell yourself because YOU ARE LISTENING! Let’s change the narrative and put a positive spin on things.

SAY:

I AM LIMITLESS AND I BELIEVE I AM!

“Your potential is limitless. You are unique, valuable, capable and worthy of the dreams in your heart. Most of all, you have what it takes to transform and transcend whatever challenges you face.” Marie Forleo

YOU, my friend, are limitless. There is a vast limitless potential within you. You have everything within you to soar as high as you want. You have the ability to climb the highest mountain and to make it to the very top. In order to get there, you have to change what you tell yourself because you are made of stronger stuff. YOU can fly if you want to. Change your mindset, do the work and the rest will fall in place.

YOU ARE LIMITLESS!

Have an amazing day.

Mistakes (Archives)

“You can pickup a mistake and carry it as a burden, or you can set it down and use it as a stepping stone to greatness.” Unknown

It has been said that a mistake is usually “an action, decision, or judgement that produces an unwanted or unintentional results.” Quite often than not, the unintentional results can be painful, it makes us doubt ourselves and our judgement of others. It also means that the outcome did not meet our expectations. Therefore, it was time wasted or more appropriately it was an investment that did not put forth what it was meant to do.

There are different kinds of mistakes. It can be related to cheating on a partner, allowing people to push you around, dating or marrying the wrong person, refusing to listen to good advice or quite simply a frivolous disregard to what is staring you in the face. It’s there as plain as day, it is clear that it’s a mistake to carry on and yet because of the time and energy spent in chasing that dream, whatever it maybe for you, we refuse to call it quits and move on. We refuse to accept it as a lesson learned or as a stepping stone to something better.

“A mistake that keeps being repeated is not a mistake, it’s a choice.” Unknown

Just like it is in Groundhog’s Day, we see a “series of unwelcome or tedious events appear to be recurring in exactly the same way,” and this is not only boring and irritating but it’s time to get off that emotional roller coaster and head for greener pastures. The choices we make are hard at times. I know that quite often I am stuck on redial. I know that I should hang up and start anew but the human side or rather the foolish side wants to hang on for just a while longer knowing full well that I should count it as a lost cause, sunken cost as they say in business, take the lesson learned with me and make the decision to not do it ever again. Sunk costs basically means “that costs have been incurred by past actions and they cannot be recovered and they are not relevant to our future decisions,” and yet we choose to repeat it over and over again. I am human, I say, but that is putting it mildly!

Perhaps, it would be easier if we can forget the mistakes but remember the lessons we’ve learned from our walks into the big wide world of MISTAKES LAND and believe me it is a jungle out there. We’ve all made them, we’ll continue to make them and more likely than not we’ll rush in with our eyes wide open BUT it is the picking up, dusting off and the moving on bit that matters here. Here’s to mistakes both big and small. Bring them on!

“When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it: admit it, learn from it, and don’t repeat it.” Paul Bear Bryant

From your lips to God’s ears!

Have an amazing Sunday.

Stay Calm, Stay Focused (Archives)

Staying calm and focused when your mind tells you otherwise is normal. It is human nature. My mind goes haywire and jumps around like a monkey when I’m stressed or I have to concentrate on what is before me and what needs to get done. Oftentimes I need to take a step back, go within myself to find the strength and to focus on what I need to do to move on. It doesn’t always work but it does work if I stay focused.

“The ability to remain calm and focused on what truly matters is a superpower.” Unknown

Be like the tree that has weathered many storms and is still standing. It takes practice and a certain kind of mindset to weather a storm, any storm. If you’ve never worked a day in your life and the time has come to find a job, to get independent and to stand on your own two feet, you tend to lose focus because the unknown is formidable. However, with each fall you take, you gain the strength and the know how to get back up and to keep moving. Time, focus, calm and lots of practice makes it possible and soon you will be standing like that tree, strong and unshakeable in any storm. Breathe and keep moving. Standing still is never the answer.

“Breathe darling. This is just a chapter. It’s not your whole story.” S. C. Lourie

Stay focused but not on the wrong things. I can’t do this is not one of them. This is way too scary is not one of them. The ‘monster’ is too hard to slay is not one of them. Focus on finding the positive within the negative. Be prepared to put one foot in front of the other but whatever you do, do not take the easy way out or rather the coward’s way out and give up. It is easy to give up but much harder to step into an unknown arena and to win the day. YOU CAN DO THIS!

“Sometimes you need to slow down, remain calm, and simply let life happen. Take a deep breathe and focus on the simple important things: you are alive, you are breathing, you are enough as you are. You got this.” Unknown

Finally, tell the monkey in your brain that keeps dragging you all over the place with no end in sight to take a hike! Breathe, calm yourself down and stay focus on what you need to do to make it. YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Have an amazing day.

Principled

I don’t know if being principled is a good trait since it has caused unnecessary pain in times past because I refused to stray from what I thought was right and being rigid and principled sometimes means that you get the short end of the stick as well.

We live in a world where “principles” are not as important as they use to be. Bending the rules to suit your needs has become part and parcel of behavior in today’s society. However, I have held on steadfastly to my principles.

The good thing about being principled is that you are committed to integrity, honesty and you are responsible in your actions . There is a certain moral compass that enables you to come across as a trustworthy and reliable person. The bad thing? It can be a hindrance because people may view you as a person who has a stick so far up the you know what that there is no getting you to see their side of things. Been there, done that, and I continue to do that!

However, it is their opinion. I like being principled and there are certain things I will stand for and others absolutely not.

Spinster for life? Who knows only time will tell. I might be like that captain who went down with his ship bearing full responsibility for the vessel, only I will be holding onto my principles till the very end!

Daily writing prompt

What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

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