relationships – Page 2

Love Lessons

Love as we know has many facets. It is not a one size fits all kind of thing. There is the love between a parent and child, there is the love between a pet and its owner, there is the love of material things but nothing is as powerful as the love that shows up and turns your world on its head and you don’t know if you’re coming or going. It is the kind of love that comes and touches your heart, sends your blood pumping and you are left wondering what happened?

However, this love between a man and woman has its ups and downs. Sometimes it goes smoothly and sometimes when you least expect it, you get the rug pulled out from under your feet. There is the kind that shows up and you are head over heels and the kind that doesn’t get the same response from the other person. There is the kind that takes you for a ride, the kind that breaks your heart into a thousand pieces and hurt becomes a part of loving. There is the kind that loves to play games and the kind that doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings. It is all part and parcel of this thing called love. If you are lucky, you find someone who looks at you and you’re IT and then there is the kind that does circles around you and keeps you guessing.

Different kinds of love but it has one thing in common. Love is powerful and it has the ability to turn an ordinary person into someone extraordinary or leaves you gasping for air. Love lessons they are aplenty and since I’m in this, “What is love really about?” mood, here are some quotes that speak to the heart of the matter.

“Some people teach you what love feels like. Others teach you what love is not. Both shape how you protect your heart.” Unknown

Been there, done that and there is truth in that quote.

“I don’t walk away to teach people a lesson, I walk away because I learned mine.” Unknown

Done this one too. Believe me, the walking away gets easier as time goes along.

Spend your time on those who LOVE you unconditionally. Don’t waste it on those who only love you when the conditions are right for them.” Unknown

Listen carefully to this one. When you are not the priority, leave! No point hanging around.

“Not all love lasts, but the lessons love brings to us do.” Mandy Hale

The absolute truth. Learn from the lessons and let go of the rest.

“Sometimes life sends us people who don’t love us enough, to remind us of what we’re worthy of.” Mandy Hale

This is painful but it is a lesson that has to be learned. You are worthy of real love and not the wishy washy kind. Pay attention to what is shown and take the right path. It is not going to be easy but worthiness comes from knowing who you are and what you will stand for. It demands courage as well to shut the door and to move on.

“Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.” Unknown

Quite often we do the chase or the dance or whatever name you give it but you know what I mean. Chasing love, affection, or attention quite often brings the opposite. Don’t chase, let it go and see what happens.

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” Nicole Reed

I think this one works on the same principle as karma does. Someone does something bad to you and if you believe in karma, I do, you know that at some point they will get their comeuppance. When? That’s the problem. There is no date or time given, just that it will take place at some point and you have to believe that it will. So when will good things start happening. Same thing. Wait for it and sooner or later it will happen. No fun? Yes, well, life moves to a different beat and all in good time because you have to learn before you reap the benefits, I suppose.

Enough about love? One last thing, love is many-faceted and it has its mysteries but one thing is for sure, WE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!

Have an amazing day and I hope the right kind of love finds you.

Victim

A victim is defined as “a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action or it could be “a person who is tricked or duped,” or “a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment.”

Which are you? Where do you fit in the victim modus because if you’re a victim you will identify with one or the other of the descriptions above. I relate to the last two.

“You only get to be a victim once. After that, you’re a volunteer.” Unknown

I’m not quite sure that I fully agree with that sentiment. I’ve been a victim many times over and each time I tell myself I’ll do better the next time around but when the next time rolls around as it inevitably does, I get dragged in to the same outcomes. Basically, pain, disbelief and anger. Does this mean that I’m ‘volunteering’ to relive victimhood over and over again. Or does it mean that I didn’t learn what not to do the first time around and haven’t learned from my mistakes? Probably both.

“The victim mindset will have you dancing with the devil, then complaining that you’re in hell.” Unknown

I didn’t even know I was a victim until it blindsided me which made it harder to bear. I was a relationship victim, more specifically a victim of deceit and I was the woman who got left behind. However, instead of picking myself back up and moving on, I chose to “dance with the devil.” It took years of soul-searching, of blaming myself for his indiscretions and worst of all cutting myself down to size and way beyond to realize that I was the perfect victim. I must say, I played the role well. I went through the five phases of grief which is denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It doesn’t often play out that way and it doesn’t always happen in that order either because sometimes you are not given the chance to grieve because the ‘devil’ that caused the problem in the first place keeps hanging on and so there is no closure or learning from your mistakes. Since then, I’ve played ‘volunteer’ if you want to call it that to similar circumstances. However, I am learning not to play victim to circumstances I created myself meaning I knew from the get go what I was getting myself into and that I only have myself to blame for what followed. Is there something about the familiarity of the situation that reels you in or makes you want to play in the mud puddles knowing full well that you’ll get dirty but the “LURE” is just too much to resist? Perhaps. I am trying to change that.

“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.” Eckhart Tolle

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will find myself along the same avenue at a later point in my life, not because I haven’t learned but because life happens and being a victim is woven into my being perhaps because I am too nice, too naive or I am the perfect victim type. Whatever the case maybe, I also know that if it happens again, I am fully equipped to ‘slay the monster,’ and put it to rest where it belongs because I have learned along the way and I am moving on.

“The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: he or she has become a threat.” Unknown

So watch out whoever you are! If you’re here to play games, you better get going. I will no longer volunteer to be your victim. I’ve outgrown the “victim mentality” and I’m on my way equipped with everything that is needed to put those who love or enjoy victimizing people where they belong and that is in the annals of hell!

“We’re sorry, your request for victim status has been denied. You are being referred to the Big Girl Panties Department. Please stand by.”

Have an amazing day.

Know Your Self Worth

“Recognize your own worth and you won’t be drawn to those who don’t see it.” Doe Zantamata

According to medium.com, “Your value is directly linked to your belief. If you treat yourself like garbage, you’ll never appreciate your potential.”

It’s interesting how many of us walk into relationships expecting the other person to validate us in some way. We look to them to make us feel wanted, to feel loved, to feel that we are worthy and to make us feel special. Basically we hand over our power and energy to that person and wait to get reimbursed. When it doesn’t happen, we find ourselves in a dark place and beat ourselves down to a pulp.

The truth is, self-worth is your sense of self, your values and your belief that you are worthy of care, support and compassion. It basically means you value yourself enough to know the boundaries and limits and what you’ll accept and what you won’t. It is that feeling within you that says you are worthy and deserving of the right kind of love and that there is a balance in the relationship. If you’ve been doing the chasing and you’re the only one investing in the relationship with your time, energy and efforts and you are not getting or getting next to nothing in return, then it’s time to reevaluate and to take a good hard look at your self-worth. How much is it worth?

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” Anna Taylor

If your self-worth is lacking, here are some strategies to improve it from the people in the know. (verywellmind.com)

Do things you enjoy and are good at:

These help to reinforce your strengths and abilities and can make you more confident.

Exercise and challenge yourself:

Physical activity is linked to a greater sense of self-worth. It also helps to recalibrate your mindset and offers both physical and mental benefits.

Challenge negative thoughts:

Thoughts are not facts. Next time you have a negative self-thought, think of an alternative realistic thought to replace it.

Be kind to yourself.

Learn to be assertive.

Start saying “NO!” I have to learn this one myself.

Focus on the positive.

It is important to have a healthy sense of self-worth because loving, respecting and valuing yourself starts with you. It is the first step towards gaining the same from others.

“Once you discover your true worth, walking away from where you are not valued will become the easiest hard thing you will ever do.” Unknown

If they don’t see you as valuable then don’t try to convince them. Remember the only person you need validation from is you. You are enough as you are, you are worthy, you deserve respect, your well-being matters and so does your emotional health. Work on your self-worth and you’ll start attracting the right kind of people, the kind who will respect your worth.

“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.” Unknown

AND

“Know your worth and then make sure to add tax.” Unknown

Have an amazing day.

The Thaw

Is it Day 6 or 7? I can’t keep up anymore but it has been several days since Shiro and Galahad were left in my care. They are cats, if you’re wondering. Shiro is a Persian cat, all white with startling blue or perhaps green eyes, and Gallahad is a British long-haired cat with dark fur and brilliant orange eyes. Yes, they are pretty and belong to my son. Where is he? He has moved to another state to start his new job. Leaving them behind was hard and still is for him and exhausting for me.

Chachi, the cat, my little guy is spoilt beyond repair and he was lord of the jungle until these two walked in and took command. Galli took his window seat by the kitchen and Shiro has claimed his basket upstairs. They were his favorites and giving them up hasn’t set well with the Little Macho. Every time I tried to get them to play, the little brat decided there was no way in hell he was going to do that. This is his place and besides you don’t take stuff away without asking first. He is someone with principles or rather he was brought up to toe the line. So, he froze them out and every time he got a glimpse of them, he would HISS and let it be known that he wasn’t going to put up with their presence. He has been spending a lot of time in my bedroom with the door shut! Now, he hates me as well! Life as Chachi knew it is a thing of the past and the Little Snort is shooting daggers at me and acting like he is a block of ice!

However, today he decided to turn things around. I guess spending time alone in the room hasn’t set too well with him OR he is trying a new tactic. He is not called Little Einstein for nothing. This morning, he looked longingly at the closed door so I opened it and warned him to be nice. Galli sashayed past him without batting an eyelid. Chachi sniffed and went, “Grrr!!!”

ME: “Chachi!!”

HIM: “I was just kidding. He is not that big close up.”

ME: “Behave!”

HIM: “You want to play big guy?”

GALLI: “Sure, we can play.” Silently thinking, wait till your mommy turns her back on you!

So, I left them, ran down the stairs, got the vacuum cleaner, I vacuum two or three times per day now and it is exhausting. Oh ok, I said that already. Anyway, I ran back upstairs and my little guy was in his bowl elevated off the floor with Galli sitting beneath and looking up at him. So far, so good. Then Chachi decided to up the ante. He reached out with one paw and swiped Galli on the head! Big mistake. The big thaw was now freezing back up again. This was Galli’s chance and he took it. He came in with both paws and before he could land a POW WOW on Chachi, I stepped in.

Chachi yelled, “You’re a spoilsport mommy! I could have taken him!”

GALLI: “You’re right Chachi. She is that but I like her.”

Chachi: “Come here Galli, I want to show something. You’ve been begging for it!”

I stepped in and shooed Galli out of the room and Chach went under the bed leaving a slight growl hovering in the air.

I shut the door and so it has been for the last hour or so. The “thaw” is taking place but it is going to take a few more days before I can trust them to play together. What’s with Shiro? She’s a girl and as long as everything is nice and clean, she’s a happy camper. She is under the stairs, eyes closed and enjoying herself. Boys? They are a different matter altogether!

For now, it is life as usual at “Casa de gatos.”

Have an amazing day.

Day 3

Time sure does fly. It is day three since my son came by, brought his cats here, talked for a while and off he went to start his new life.

DAY 1:

It was chaotic. I had three cats here and I felt like my world was being turned on its head! Shiro, the Persian cat, and Gallahad, the British long-haired cat were not too sure about what had just happened. Dad, (my son) was gone and they were with this lady they recognized but not quite. I hadn’t seen them in a long time and we were practically strangers. They watched me cautiously and no amount of talking to them seemed to make them look at me differently.

SHIRO: “She thinks she is the cat whisperer. What is the gibberish coming out of her mouth? Where is daddy?!!”

GALLI: “I think she’s nice. I remember her from long ago but that Little Macho over there thinks he can take us both down! I’ve got news for him.”

CHACHI: “Don’t TOUCH my things! Look at my teeth, they mean business!”

ME: “Lord, have mercy! Where and how do I start?”

I made sure their room upstairs was made to order. It looks like cat paradise up here. I even put blankets on the bed in case they got cold. Everything was spotless and the toilet was CLEAN and smelling like flowers.

SHIRO: ” This is what I’m talking about! Dad, I love him but the toilet was never this clean. I’m going to enjoy this!”

GALLI: “Who cares? A toilet is a toilet and anyway I never pay too much attention as to what I leave behind.”

Exactly the problem! Galli thinks that doing the big stuff is one thing and covering it up with litter is another!

DAY 2:

All was quiet. The two survived the night with no problems. I kept Chachi in the bedroom since I didn’t trust them playing together. Chachi had and has an attitude. He’s all about his things. Don’t touch this and don’t touch that! If you so much as look at me cross-eyed, you’re looking at trouble!

Chachi also decided that he hates me! I’ve brought some strangers in to take his place. Every time I picked him up, he hissed to show his displeasure. Instead of purring when I put him next to me at bed time, he was as quiet as a mouse. The message was clear. Get THEM out of here!

Galli decided that he was going to give the cat whisperer a chance. He purred every time I came close and even let me stroke him. He also started rubbing up against my leg. He is all about the food, as long as his stomach is over full, he’s a happy camper. There was hope yet. Shiro wouldn’t have anything to do with me, cat whisperer or not. Her whole stance was, “WHERE IS DADDY? Get me out of this place!”

DAY 3:

So far, so good. The cats have settled down, they are eating and drinking and letting me pat them on the head. Chachi is still in his pissed off mood. He keeps shooting evil eyes in my direction and hissing at them every chance he gets. My son has been constantly texting asking for pics and sending messages, “I miss them.” I’ve been working tenaciously to keep them all happy.

Now, I AM POOPED!

Will it get better? I can only hope but running behind the three of them is going to take coordination and some planning. I know it is a challenge and it will be a challenge. First thing, I need to work on getting Chachi on my side. So, I’ve been whispering, “You know you are my little love, don’t you? No one can take your place.”

CHACHI: “Stop your cat whispering with me. I know you better and you need to beg, maybe it will work but for now, no way in hell!

Let’s see what the days going forward will bring.

Fingers and toes crossed.

Mandy Hale

New York Times best-selling author, speaker, and creator, Mandy Hale inspires women with her writing and I find her quotes to be exceptionally uplifting. If you’re feeling down, turn to them and they are bound to give you a boost in the right direction.

Here are some of her best quotes:

“You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Shine on, and dare anyone to turn off your lights.”

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

“If they want to be in your life, they’ll find a way to be in your life. Otherwise, they’ll find excuses.”

That’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

“There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.”

A smile, a kind word, or a soothing touch is all it takes to do just that.

“The most beautiful day is the day you decide you’re good enough for you. It’s the day you set yourself free.”

A good one but putting it into practice is the hard part.

“A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her existence.”

Women tend to do that but I think we are learning that our existence or rather our validation does not depend on a man. I hope so!

“To make a difference in someone’s life, you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect. You just have to care.”

Perfectly said!

“No matter how much you stress or obsess about the past or future, you can’t change either one. In the present is where your power lies.”

This one knocked some sense into me. I love stressing and obsessing so a definite reminder to pay attention and to do different.

Too easy to get = just as easy to forget.

Absolutely and one to pay attention to.

Finally, I LOVE THIS ONE!

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms, and never, ever apologize for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less traveled instead of the well-beaten path. Laugh in the face of adversity and leap before you look. Dance as though everybody is watching. March to the beat of your own drummer. And stubbornly refuse to fit in.”

Have an amazing day.

Farewell My Son

Tomorrow is the day that I’ve been dreading for a week now. I thought it would take its time getting here but we’ve got a day to go before you take off to start your new life.

I’ve been walking around like a zombie doing things I need to get done to prepare for tomorrow. Your cats will be here and there is much to prepare to make sure that their needs will be met. I think I’ve got it down pat now, the “needs” bit but not how it will be with three cats running around. I am a little nervous.

Then your dad called earlier today and that brought it all home. You are leaving and there is no turning back. It is onwards and forwards. I’ve been brave or rather trying to be brave and I succeeded until dad said, “I’m at his place. We are loading the stuff into the car.” It hit home and the move is taking place.

What can I say that I haven’t said already? Sometimes, I wish I can turn back time. I want to go back to when you were a five-year-old and you needed me. I was there to take care of all your needs and to keep you safe. I want to go back to when we played that game, the one where you asked, “How much do you love me?” My answer, “To the moon and back and again to the moon and back!” That always brought a giggle and a chuckle from you. Those days are gone but they live on in memories.

The reality is that a lot of things have changed and they are changing. Tomorrow, I will hug you tight, kiss you on the cheek, make sure you have everything you need, knowing full well that I’ve forgotten something in my rush to make sure you have everything you need. I will try not to break into tears as I stand there and watch you walk out the door. All of that will come later as I retreat indoors and try to deal with this situation as well.

I think mothers and fathers are different. Your dad seems to be fine but I’m sure he heard the “break” in my voice as I asked, “Is he alright?” Let me tell you something so you know without a shadow of a doubt where you stand with me. I want you to know that I love you. You are very important to me and no matter what, I will always try to be there for you. Life is taking you away and I hope to a better future. I also hope that it will be kind to you and the new people you meet will care about you as you form your new circle of friends. Most of all, I hope you stay safe.

I want to tell you not to do these things. Don’t do your long walks with your headphones on so that you are not aware of your surroundings. Be careful because you will be in a big city and there is much you have to learn and look out for. I KNOW that you think you know everything and I should let you live your life BUT I still see you as that little boy who I nurtured and walked with holding that tiny hand in mine. I guess I will always have that picture in my mind.

I know that you are a young adult now and I should treat you as such. It is hard but I will try. You, my son, are fully capable of achieving anything you set your mind to. You are strong, you are intelligent, you are goal-oriented and like your mother, a very strong person.

This will be another challenge for me. Another one that will require my strength and my belief that all will be well. It’s not to say that I won’t freak out from time to time wondering if you are fine. I’m going to say this and leave it at that. I trust and believe you will be fine and you will make your way as I did a long time ago.

I WILL MISS YOU.

The Guy?!!

Got your attention? I think those of you who read my articles regularly know that I’ve been looking for the needle in the haystack and it hasn’t been easy being out there. Where? Out in the dating world.

I’ve come across many who claim to be Prince Charming but in actuality are frogs in disguise. I know, I know, you just have to kiss them and they might turn into the man of your dreams. So far, no luck. They’ve remained frogs! Around the middle of last year, I came to a screeching halt and decided to pull the plug on dating. However, at the beginning of this year, I decided to give it another try.

Out of the eight who showed up wearing hopeful smiles, I narrowed it down to two. One was a Biochemical Engineer, nice enough guy in the beginning but a total full of himself j**k. Maybe, it was me but never mind. After two dates, I decided to call it off. I tried to be nice, which is my problem, but he hung up on me showing his true self. The last man standing was just a simple guy who grew up in these parts, the farmers are his best friends, doesn’t speak any English but has decided that he has only eyes for me. Nice guy? Hold on.

On our first date, he was very attentive and as he walked me to the door, he stole the kiss. It was totally unexpected. I pushed him away before he took it further and later when he called he asked, “Did I shock you?” My answer, “Yes, you did.”

Anyway, I decided to pull the stick out of my you know what and to give him another chance. Nice guys don’t come around too often, that was my reasoning. Second date went just fine. We had lunch and went for a walk. It was nice and it was my kind of date. Third date was supposed to be a breakfast date and he decided to take another huge leap.

HIM: “My sister wants to join us.”

ME: “Why?!!”

HIM: “She wants to meet you.”

ME: “Why?!!”

HIM: “Because she asked.”

Oh God. Things were moving like a train on a collision course! Then he began using the “we” word whenever he talked about us. If that wasn’t enough to give you chills running down your spine, he started sending early morning messages, like at 5 in the mornings! Then he started hammering the nail in the coffin as quickly as he could by calling me, “Mein Schatz.” In German, my darling or my treasure, whatever the case may be, you get the picture. My signals were all going off and you know I have plenty of them where men are concerned. Anyway, still I persevered. I met the sister and we hit it off. He told me that she thought I was five or ten times better than his other girlfriends. So, he went, “Welcome to the family.” Lord, have mercy!

I also found out that he smokes which is an absolute no-go for an hypocondraic and a health nut like me. I did tell him that but he promised that he wouldn’t do it in front of me. However, I Googled, my steady companion who never fails to come up with answers said this,

“It doesn’t matter. Third-hand smoke is a killer too. Smokers have toxins coming out of every pore and some of it will wear off on you causing heart problems and a stroke at times.

Lord, help me! I like the guy. He is caring albeit a little touchy feely. He thinks he has found the right person for him after three dates and I think he has “forever” showing in his eyes. Me? Not so much. He stole a kiss and he has hugged me and held my hands. That is about it although he keeps talking about spending the weekend together. Knowing me, that would be a big, big, hurdle to cross. Plus those “toxins” are not helping matters much.

Another one bites the dust? Maybe, I don’t know yet. Still thinking on that one. Thinking is my problem too, I overthink things. I told a friend yesterday that at this rate, I will go to my grave as a single woman. He was nice and said, “I think you are very nice and there is nothing wrong with you.” So, why do I wind up in these situations? A more pertinent question is, “Where is my Prince Charming? The one who will be an almost perfect fit. Where is he?!!”

The universe in its wisdom is saying, “All in good time, my child. He’ll show up when you least expect it and I’m working on it but you are not making it easy!”

Back to walks in nature, I suppose.

LOVE

It is elusive, it doesn’t always show up and when it does, it may not stay forever. That is a given but still we seek it, we want the feeling that says all is well, we are loved and protected AND we want it to paint our world in colors of the rainbow or whatever color love brings. It doesn’t matter if it looks and feels like cubic zirconia, the shine is all that matters for a while anyways. The problem is, we seek this elusive commodity like a heat seeking missile but a warm willing body is not enough, it needs substance to keep it going and that’s where the iffiness, the wishy-washiness and dead as a doornail comes in.

Have you ever fallen in love with the wrong person? I’ll guarantee that all of us have at one time or another. I’ve taken that journey many times over. Each time, I tell myself I’ll do better the next time around and each time I watch the worthless relationship go up in flames. I’m like a gardener who had planted seeds and one who is waiting to see what the outcome would be. The hope is that all the care, energy and time would yield a bumper crop but no matter how hard I tried, that plant showed up poorly and died along the way. It got brown and shriveled and no amount of trying to revive it brought signs of life back into it. Yet, I held on because of the invested time, love and energy that had gone into it and I wanted some kind of return when there was none to be had.

It was time to let it go. Put it down to wasted energy, pull it out by the roots and make room for something new to grow. Something which is more conducive and is willing to grow under your care. Bad love like bad seeds are just that, there is no rescuing what doesn’t want to be rescued. Let it go.

Love is defined as, “a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection and trust.” verywellmind.com

If some of those behavior traits are missing and keeps on coming up missing, then you need to step back, reevaluate and weigh the consequences of such a relationship. Do not make an unworthy person a priority in your life and toxic relationships are just that, the poison starts slowly but it spreads quickly. Examples of toxic behavior are cheating and carrying on other relationships while in an ongoing relationship and pretending it is a covert operation. The liars and control freaks need to take a hike and those who show no respect for the person they’re with are a waste of time and space. Add to that the ones who can look you in the eye and swear that nothing is going on when you know otherwise should be shown the door quickly. No time should be wasted on them. If you’ve got one of these cubic zirconia types on your hands, remember life is too short for hoping and wishing, remember you’re a diamond so you have no time and energy to be wasted on fakes. Make room for someone who is willing to thrive in your garden and put yesterday’s mistakes behind you.

“Something I just recently learned was that chased love is not love. If you have to run after it, talk it into staying, remind it of your value, fight alone for the both of you, issue ultimatums, or test it, it is not love. It’s not love, it’s not happiness, it is not fair, it’s not healthy, the only thing it is…..is a waste of time.” Jessica James

I heard someone put it this way as well but not in exactly these words. Why do you have a junk car parked on your property when you’ve got a Ferrari circling your property? Have the wreck towed away and make room for the new, something better at best. Even if there isn’t anyone new on the horizon right now, give it time. In the meantime work on being a worthy person, worthy of love and one who deserves the best as far as love is concerned. Anything less is an absolute no-go!

“Some people will only come into your life to teach you what love is not. And when that happens, I hope you know when to walk away.” F. E. Marie

Have an amazing day.

Time is Flying!

Time is not flying because I am having fun but because I’m caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts, not too good ones either! My son is getting ready to fly the coop and in a week or so, he’ll be headed to parts unknown and I’ll be at my wit’s end trying to keep my sanity intact!

A friend asked me, “Do you remember how it was when you flew the coop? Was it scary? The important thing is you made it, so remember that and know that he’ll be alright.” Easier said than done folks.

I know he has achieved much in his young life including finishing up his studies with a better than average grade. He landed three jobs at the get-go even though he had never worked a day in his life! I couldn’t believe it and now the fourth one is on the horizon. He has managed to carry on with his life all on his own without “mommy” hovering over him. More specifically, he has lived alone for over 4 or 5 years and made it. He SHOULD be able to do this as well, right?

Some parts say of course and it will be a breeze. Other parts, the ones that gather strength and let me play through the repertoire of what could go wrong scenarios are digging in their heels and showing me exactly what could go wrong. Just when I think I’ve got a handle on one thing, they push a few more my way. Walks in nature have helped but when I think I’ve cleared my head and walk back in the door, they are there to meet me head-on!

This is going to be a hard one for me. Letting go has never been easy but this will be especially hard since it feels like I’ll be missing a part of me. Is he ok? Is he safe? IS HE DOING WELL? Unknowns that will require both faith and strength to overcome. I’ve done it so far and I think I will and am able to do what is asked of me. The will is there but the “unwilling parts” need to help me along.

This too shall pass? Hopefully, fingers and toes crossed.