It has been HOT, it has been sticky and the heat has been unbearable. Sweating it out is not a pleasurable experience and going without air-conditioning is not my kind of a nice summer day either!
Europeans do not believe in air-conditioning. “Less than 20% of European homes have air-conditioning, compared to 90% in the US.” This is due to environmental concerns such as energy consumption and green house gas emissions. Add “no deo” to that, and you’ve got a hot sweltering mess!
My energy levels have tanked and I’ve been doing what Chachi, the cat, has been doing. Staying quiet in a cool spot indoors. Add lots of hydration and it is bearable. Walking is out of the question for now and that hasn’t set too well either. It’s just too humid and the “stickiness” that ensues from being out there has kept me indoors for the time-being. I’m like a grumpy bear looking for some relief!
I’ve upped showers to twice a day and some days I want to stay there for a while. A friend told me, “Do what Europeans do when it’s hot.” It seems they go naked and let it all hang out! Not a pretty picture considering most of the people in this village are older people and going without clothes, well, you get the picture! I recall the first time I saw my in-laws in their “bare nothings!” It was a traumatic experience, well not quite, one I don’t want repeated again!
Summer is here and it plans to stay for a while. I’ll just have to put up with it and do the best I can.
One good thing about summer is this:
“Some of the best memories are made in FLIP-FLOPS!” Unknown
I’ve got them on and my feet are smiling even if the rest of me isn’t!
Jalal al-Din Rumi was a 13th century poet. He was born in Afghanistan and he was a Sufi mystic whose poetry embraces themes of “overcoming fear and persevering through challenges.” He speaks of finding strength in vulnerability and to be grateful for whatever comes. I find courage and beauty in his words and it touches my soul AND his words are one of great wisdom.
“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”
I do act small when first faced with adversity but it is only a matter of time before I rise again knowing that I can deal with this too.
“I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.”
This one speaks to who I am, I am one with nature and I find freedom with the animals and the bird life and often I want to sing like I used to as a young child not caring who listens or who is watching. I do that with my writing too.
“If everything around you seems dark, look again, you may be the LIGHT.”
Simply beautiful and when darkness surrounds seeing the light in you doesn’t seem like a bad thing to me.
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
This one tugged at my heart when I first saw it. My first thought, I don’t feel the light but he is speaking of another kind of light, the kind that teaches and heals.
“The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.”
Moving on requires acceptance and that is precisely the point here. Done that many times over.
“When you go through a hard period, when everything seems to oppose you, when you feel you cannot even bear one more minute, NEVER GIVE UP! Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!”
I guess you have to hit ground zero before life turns around. Can we make it a little easier please?
“Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.”
This one makes grieving a little less painful, at least it did for me.
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
This last one is so poetic. Yes I wanted to change the world, I still do but nowadays it is more about changing “me” first.
Morgan Harper Nichols was born in Hamilton, New Zealand. She is an American Christian musician, songwriter and poet. Her quotes, however, are poignant and it is about finding beauty in the ordinary, embracing imperfection and growth tinged with resilience and hope. Here is a sampling of her brilliant work. Her words speak to the heart and has the ability to light up your day. Enjoy.
“and perhaps what made her beautiful was not her appearance or what she achieved, but in her love and in her courage, and her audacity to believe: no matter the darkness around her, light ran wild within her, and that was the way she came alive, and it showed up in everything.”
“And if everything does not fall into place at the same time and pace, that does not mean that the years you’ve waited have somehow been a waste. Keep planting, sowing, living, and knowing that beautiful things take time, and that’s okay.”
“Take photographs of everything. You never know how long these moments will be here. Things are going to change.”
“Even in the moments when you feel directionless, you can still find the courage to take another step.”
“Words matter so speak kind words to yourself.”
“Perhaps, even here, I am growing. When the days are long, and I do not feel as strong, and when the hours go by slower than they ever have before, and the sun is shining, and I am lost indoor, perhaps even here, I am growing.”
“Never let anyone who cannot bear your pain make you feel you are unbearable.”
“Tell the story of the mountains you’ve climbed. Your words could become a part of someone else’s survival guide.”
AND
“When you start to feel like things should have been better this year, remember the mountain and valleys that got you here.”
It’s hard to say since I have so many of them. Beautiful sunsets, walks on the beach in different countries, the birth of my son, the first time he called me mommy and so many more. All hold a special place in my heart and will stay there forever as special or favorite moments. However, there is one moment that has never tarnished and remains as clear as day even after so many years.
It was my first kiss. Did I get your attention? A love story? It was. I was 21 when I got my first kiss. What? Try living a normal life in a very strict Christian family. Mom used to say, “I have eyes at the back of my head and I can see everything you’re up to.” That put the fear of the devil in me, that and the fact that I was saving myself for marriage.
Anyway, he walked into my life and I was a goner! He was tall and handsome with piercing green eyes. Half Algerian and half French. Yes, quite a combination. If that wasn’t enough, he was a pilot, a captain no less. The fact that he was as old as my dad didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. He didn’t see the sign plastered across my forehead either that said, “Saving myself for marriage.” He was a seasoned playboy. The two do not mix. Anyway, the first time I saw him in uniform I held up the, “I am in love!” flag. I didn’t know what it meant only that he was beautiful to look at and he made my breath catch in my throat! Looks mattered back then.
Our first date was fantastic. We had eyes only for each other. Then we took a walk on the beach and with a thousand or a million stars shining above and….wait for it….he kissed me. I felt like I was drowning, dying, flying and everything in between! I was putty in his hands but he sensed something and asked, “Your first kiss? Unbelievable.” It was a long walk back to the car but something was changing within me. It wasn’t just a moment, it was a new beginning. One that I have never forgotten.
What happened to him? We dated but like I said earlier, playboy and an innocent do not mix. I held on to my beliefs and he couldn’t change who he was. We went our separate ways. However, my first kiss was one of my favorite moments of a lifetime. I stayed up there for three days after that kiss. Just flying around in heaven somewhere!
I woke up to the sounds of rain not pitter-pattering outside but coming down in a steady deluge. Cuddled up under the covers with Chachi, the cat, the sound was soothing.
It looks like the rain has moved in and it is planning to stay for awhile. The ground has been parched for lack of water in recent weeks so this intermittent rain is much sought after not only by the plant life but by the farmers as well. I, on the other hand, have a soft spot for rain. I don’t like the kind that is accompanied by thunder and lightning but this soft and steady variety is just my cup of tea or coffee for that matter.
Standing at the big window in the kitchen, coffee cup in hand and Chachi right by my side, I notice that the wind is picking up and it is going to be a wet and blustery day.
Chachi goes: “The TV is acting up Mommy!”
He’s right. There is none of the usual calmness with birds singing in the trees. The sky is grey and the bamboo fronds in the neighbor’s garden is doing a slow dance moving in symphony to the rhythm of the rain. There is beauty in the movement and as I let my gaze take in the scene before me, I realize that nature in all its wisdom has a way of accommodating everything that comes its way. There is much we can learn from it just by standing still and observing. It’s a hard thing to do I know because life sometimes moves at a faster pace than we want it to.
I know Chachi, the cat, will adjust to the erratic movements going on outside the window and I will up my workout routine today and add Tai Chi to match what is happening outside. It’s a day that calls for lots of coffee and perhaps a slice or two of cheesecake! It’s going to be a beautiful day and I wish you the same.
“The beauty of rain, it’s like a symphony from the sky. Pounding drums on my roof, serenades on my windows. An angelic ballet of raindrops dancing around in my garden. A spectacle I could witness for the rest of my days.” N.C.
I’ve been very conservative about moving from job to job. If I liked a job, I would stay with it and I’ve been lucky enough to say that the jobs I’ve held have kept me there for a long time.
Writing has always been a first love but I didn’t get to concentrate on it fully until at a later stage in my life. Sure, I got articles published at an early age but a job it wasn’t. Just something I dabbled in because I loved writing and getting the word out.
I was in management at the university, both working and studying at the same time. It was tough but it wasn’t really what I wanted to do. However, I bit my lip and held on just long enough until I finished, met my ex and we moved to Europe. Still writing was sporadic to say the least. I published a lot of articles, wrote for magazines and kept my political side alive by writing online articles rubbing shoulders with the best of them. It wasn’t my dream job.
A few years later, I landed the job of Fashion Editor. It wasn’t exactly my cup of tea either. Basically I was involved with the celebrity world, what they wore, what they did and what was going on in their lives. Add the supermodels to it and I was right in the middle of what was happening. Still, I was getting tired of designers and the celebrity BS! After a few years of doing that, I got the opportunity to leave that world behind and to go it alone. Now, I write what I want, when I want and my time is mine alone. It’s a good place to be in and writing, well it is still my first and last love. I will always write and I’m hoping my book will be out later this year. Keeping fingers and toes crossed!
I do love Sundays. It is a day of rest and meant for time well-spent with family, friends and yourself. Well, it should be and every weekend before Sunday rolls around wearing bells and whistles, I have exactly that in mind but it never works out that way.
I had that talk with Chachi, the cat, and you guessed it, it went in one ear and out the other! The little guy in the fur coat marches to a different drumbeat and he makes his own rules! Last night started out well enough and the little rascal toed the line until he decided that it was not something a cat should be expected to do, toe the line that is. He was off and running and kept me up most of the night with his antics. I decided to let it roll off my back like water off a duck’s back. If you can’t beat them join them…..well, I decided to let him have his way and went into a nirvana state of mind but only in my head, everything else was riled up and revving to go! You guessed how my night went.
I even went to bed wearing a t-shirt that said:
SUNDAY CHECKLIST
EAT AND DO NOTHING
DO NOTHING AND CHILL
CHILL AND SLEEP
No luck there. Reading is not what he is about. He, the little munchkin, was up at his usual time and his first cry was, “Mommy!” We went downstairs at around 5:30 and I made my breakfast with my well-meaning t-shirt full of creases just like my dreams of having a cozy time in bed! Now, I am sitting at the computer and the little guy just came back up and jumped on the chair behind me and has his back up against me! Mommy’s boy? Definitely!
Sundays are meant for relaxing and I’m going to make it so. It is storming outside and it feels cold inside the house. I’m happy about the rain because the ground has been parched and a good dousing would do a world of good as far as the plant world is concerned. So rain on! I’m going to get my second cup of coffee and TRY to CHILL!
“And then, just like that, my heart broke. My face crumpled, my composure went and I held him tightly and I stopped caring that he could feel the shudder of my sobbing body because grief swamped me. It overwhelmed me and tore at my heart and my stomach and my head and it pulled me under, and I couldn’t bear it. I honestly thought I couldn’t bear it.” Jojo Moyes
That last line held me in its grip and I went along for the ride for as long as it took. “I couldn’t bear it,” was my mantra when the dream splintered into a thousand pieces and lay in fragments at my feet. “This couldn’t be happening to me!” was my other cry but none of that mattered because the end had arrived and there was no going back to what was.
Cheating is one of the most despicable things one human being can do to another. If truth be told, it happens all the time. It has become a norm in this easy come, easy go world of ours. When it happens, you find yourself going under, and in my case I lost my best friend, a long-time life partner I had known and trusted for a long time. The aftermath is hard to describe. I went from a confident woman to someone I didn’t recognize anymore. There was sadness and of course tears but that line, “I couldn’t bear it,” was the slogan that kept me in the hole that someone else had dug for me.
However, let me tell you, YOU are fully capable of bearing it! It may seem like all is lost and you may feel like you’re looking at absolute darkness but I assure you that you’ll find your way into the light as I did. It took courage, strength, forgiving yourself for what wasn’t your fault and to slowly rise again. Rise again you must because you have no other choice! Let me also tell you that you are enough and those “fragments” of a shattered heart will learn to mend itself. You will learn to look at love and life through different glasses and the next time around when love walks in, you will know better.
“Over the years, confusing fragments, lost corners of stories, have a clearer meaning when seen in a new light, a different place.” Michael Ondaatje
I’ve changed from that young and trusting person I used to be. I thought love once yours would remain forever. I gave my trust to a man who had vowed to me forever, had called me the love of his life and because best friends don’t hurt each other, I had thought we would make it to the very end. Wrong!
However, I can’t change what I want.
“And that was the cause of my heartache. I wanted everything or nothing at all. I’m not impressed by bits, parts, or almost. I’m a seeker of that which is whole, full, and complete. Completely mine or completely not.” Unknown
If that is in the cards for me is left to be seen. Only time will tell. You can overcome the insurmountable and even though you will carry those scars for a lifetime, you are built to survive. You are strong, you are resilient and you are beautiful. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror after it happened. I felt UGLY! It took time to overcome that as well.
Cheating causes emotional turmoil, mental health issues, a trust deficit, low self-esteem and sometimes PTSD-like symptoms. Sounds daunting doesn’t it? IT IS! However, the YOU within is capable of overcoming pain and resilient enough to overcome the challenges that it entails.
“You’re not broken. You’re just becoming. Unfolding slowly – like petals in spring. Give yourself time. ”
AND
“What sticks to memory, often are those odd little fragments that have no beginning and no end….” Tim OBrien
Be kind to yourself, love yourself, build yourself up and learn that those “fragments” which were part of your yesterday can help you towards a better tomorrow. Here’s the thing, YOU CAN BEAR IT!
Quotes have the ability to boost up your mood, they can also help you out of the doldrums and just a dose can put a pep in your step and get you going. Here are a few of my favorites to put a positive spin on your day. Enjoy!
“The pages of yesterday cannot be revised. But the pages of tomorrow are blank – and you hold the pen. Make it an inspiring story.” NotSalmon.com
“Don’t worry. Just when you think your life is over, a new story line falls from the sky and lands right in your lap.” Rebekah Crane
Here’s the problem. I don’t want a new story line, I want the old one with a view to the finish line! Doable?
“To be a champ you have to believe in yourself when no one else will.” Sugar Ray Robinson
“Problems are like washing machines. They twist, they spin and knock us around. But in the end, we come out cleaner, brighter and better than before.” Unknown
Fingers and toes crossed and hoping!
“I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I’m going to be today.” Unknown
Coffee does the trick every time!
“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.” Marilyn vos Savant
Never ever give UP!
“Every morning starts a new page in your story. Make it a good one today.” Doe Zantamata
What are you writing in yours today?
“The most courageous decision that you can make each day is to be in a good mood.” Voltaire
This is a hard one but I start with a smile on my face.
Look at the stars……
“It won’t fix the economy. It won’t stop wars. It won’t give you flat abs, or better sex or even help you figure out your relationship and what you want to do with your life. But it’s important. It helps you remember that you and your problem are both infinitesimally small and conversely, that you are a piece of an amazing and vast universe.” Kate Bartolotta
How amazing is that?
AND FINALLY:
“Life is short. SMILE while you still have teeth.” Unknown
“In the first stage of love, your hormones run the show. You flirt, get butterflies in your stomach and heart, toss your hair back often and laugh a lot more. Falling in love makes you glow. Full playfulness and passion, stage one of love, often called the honeymoon stage tends to be everyone’s favorite because it is fun.“
This is how Stage 1 looks like. You can talk for hours on the phone and it never gets old. There is lots of laughing and giggling and you have your rose-tinted glasses on. If there is a blemish the size of a rock on your face, it is invisible at this stage or airbrushed by the blossoming of something special. Time flies by on wings and it is never ever enough. You want more and even though red flags may crop up like a neon sign, you SEE and don’t want to see. It is also the stage of stupidity where your brain and intuition take a backseat and your heart takes over.
Stage 2: Getting Serious
“Enter stage two. You still make a good couple. You hold hands in the park and cuddle up together to watch a movie, but something has changed. You’ve moved in together, maybe even got married. That fun time has run its course and your relationship has entered the serious zone.“
You may have moved in together or maybe not. It could be headed in a more serious direction where the “M” word is bandied about. That rose-tinted glow is there but now grey is starting to seep in. You question his/her motives. When once that laugh was alluring, it now makes you grit your teeth. You see things you don’t like. Things like he doesn’t keep to his word or you’ve caught him in a lie or two. Little things like leaving the toilet seat up and leaving clothes all over the floor gets your goat. The glow is still there so it’s time to push it all under the rug. You say, “It’ll right itself out. After all, you’re not looking for perfect.” The serious zone is staring you in the face and you don’t want to rock the boat. Let sleeping dogs lie you say but you know that it could come back to bite you later.
Stage 3: What Happened?
“What happened? Did you fall out of love? By this point, all illusions have been stripped away. You find yourself arguing more. Romance seems like work and you can’t be bothered to squeeze in the time. You just want it to end. And most people do just that, end their relationship.“
This is the “make it” or “break it” phase. It is also the time to let it all hang out phase. Remember that in Stage 1 all was perfect or at least it seemed so. Nothing was out of place, not a hair, not a fake eyelash, perfect haircut, smelling good and NO inappropriate behavior. Now, it’s let it rip time and HOW! If you’re married, who cares is the attitude. Everything is allowed and I mean everything. He’s seen you many times over so why bother? Unkempt hair, less than perfect hygiene, let it all grow out if you know what I mean. He, in turn, lets it rip. Holding it in is no longer required, anywhere anytime is ok. One other thing I find fascinating is that men love talking to you when they are sitting on the throne! Something soothing perhaps? That smile is no longer alluring, those little quirks more than annoying and spending a few minutes talking equates to an hour and a half in your mind. I call this the end of time phase. It’s probably all downhill from here and most choose to end the relationship.
According to one source, there are five clear stages. They are honeymoon, uncertainty, adjustment, commitment and acceptance. I’ve chosen to speak about three because not many make it past the adjustment phase. If you do, you’re one of the lucky ones. However, the fourth and fifth phase are hard to navigate. Most are either miserable wanting to get out or they’ve accepted their fate and are playing dead until their time is up!
I haven’t given up hope that I will make it to the last phase with a smile on my face and the right man by my side. I’m still working on finding him. Unfortunately, he seems to have lost his way and is nowhere to be found and TIME is running out! Fairy Godmother some help please! I could use your wand right about now!
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